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LOLitacat!
That put a little Haze on the subject.
*shudders*
It appears our friend in the Fail isn’t the only one who gets inspired by critters and jail:
Maybe the ape could help the guy in the Fail … if he passed the bar exam.
I think the Jury have already drawn their own conclusions.
Color Kevin convicted.
Keith, Kevin… Kinda Cutandried
Oh, what’s in a name? That which we call a pedo is defiled by any other measure for measure against fornication.
win.
Sounds a little sketchy to me.
Article: …was charged with 10 counts of…
Comment: I think the Jury have already drawn their own conclusions.
This guy? Yeah, there’s about a 0.1% chance he’s innocent. If that much.
But it bothers me more than a little that there’s a widespread perception that “arrested” equals “guilty.”
The ape dr… oh never mind!
Oi, thread-following fail on my part. m(_._)m
Still bugs me that there’s that widespread perception, but not on your part or in your comment.
10 counts probably means ten .zip or .tor files were downloaded.
What ?
great first comment, congrats!
grats’ie
It waz teh kitteh i swears!
Hey, I know of a few people that have an animal fetish, so why can’t cats have a human fetish?
UN-ARREST THAT MAN!
those cats be sniffing that catnip.
my cat is kind of a creeper too
Meeee..ow!
rawr!
purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
lol@k@
This man is giving cats some bad reputation.
A judge will adjudicat that.
I heard his lawer was siamese.
I think his name was Tom.
Charges may include jerry-pandering.
Dithpickable!
No. No, I am not! Stop spreading lies!
I tawt I taw a purrrrvewt, BAD ole putty tat!
He is going to have a hard defense, because this guy is obviously lion.
Yes, he’s a real cheetah. Blaming it on the cat… Tsk!
I doubt he will get a feral trial.
There just aren’t any Lynx there!
That Manx me angry!
We all know his neighbours will leop ‘ard on him though!
Fur sure, they’ll hang ‘em by the short hairs
He should have pawsed for a moment before deciding this was hiss purrfect excuse. *some more tsks* *and several groans at thiss cat-astrophic messs of a comment*
At least his cat wasn’t embezzling.
Maybe it was…….. cover up alert!
It was just a ploy to get its human out of the way, uh oh, they are gonna take over, it is going to be a CATaclysm.
*rocks backward and forward in the corner*
oh noes! — the custard fairy is k@taleptic !
Hurry, roll her over before she goes K@atonic!
This looks like a K@astrophe in the making. Where’s the popcorn?
I don’t have popcorn but I can give you some of my fries with some k@sup if you’re hungry.
*takes a bite out of McFail*
Nom.
Mike Tyson, how ya been?
I thought cats had better taste anyway- surely they would download nature documentaries if they wanted p0rn!
When I was a kid, I once had a hamster who “accidentally” downloaded several of Mickey Mouse movies. It was very embarrassing when my parents found those on my hard drive.
I blame my resident spirits- Vodka and Rum!
I seem to be channeling Captain Morgan today.
Why are pirates called pirates
they just AAAAArrrrrrrr.
(ps. I have found an awesome Bulgarian Rum to rival any spiced rum on the market- its’ name……Captain Fred)
Really? Does Fred go down easy, or does it have some bite?
Smooth as silk- weird for £3.50 a bottle- you kind of expect white spirit or its’ ilk, tastes like rum and raisin fudge!
(I have no wish for the captain to go down on me any other way!)
I’ll have to see if I can find a bottle over here in the states.
lol … the paws that forget to refresh
Rodents do funny things. I had a gerbil that drowned himself in defiance of his vile overlords that took pleasure in rolling him across the house in a plastic bauble for their putrid enjoyment. The fish in the aquarium were NOT happy about it.
Don’t look now!
ht tp://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/08/12/funny-pictures-look-i-iz-naked/#comments
I can haz…. *downloads —–* *clicks Cancel button* *squeeze to American losers*
Meow !
Toilet Cleaning Instructions:
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid.)
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying
this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power-wash” and rinse”.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Sincerely,
The Dog
*sends advice to all friends*
*gives Jules belly rub*
My pet tiger won’t fit!
Big dragon with small potty?
No, just a massive tiger!
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
OMG… HIS FACE IS A FAIL..JUST LIKE HIS EXCUSE …XD
Bloody kitty-fiddlers. It’s a disgrace.
*sniffsqueeze*
How are you lovely Moomin? I am feline fine!
He looks like the janitor from every episode of Scooby Doo. He would have got away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kits.
*squeeze*
Fine ta, just bored at work before heading out to lunch.
Did he pose naked for that photo?
I think he posed unadorned dumbass.
If you believe that, you’d believe anything!
Anyone who does is probably one of those who believes that gullible was removed from the dictionary!
IT WAS?! OH MY GOD WHY?! WHHHHHY?!??!
*Runs screaming from the room*
Whoops
*looks guilty*
Well young lady what do you have to say for your self? You know beter than to scare BF.
*stands beside Jules with arms crossed* “What do we have this morning Jules”, is sweet K@tcf not behaving?
*looks down at feet*
*pouts*
sowwwy
Good morning K@tcf. I hate stuff like this fail. The world needs to be cleaned up a little.
Morning.
*ties one of the eagles to a broom handle*
*dusts*
there that’s better, a little bit tidier at least!
*releases eagle*
LMAO K@tcf
Bad kitty!
Good morning Malicite. How is the money situation going did you get some for school?
Your not looking in the right spot.
I believe I can fly
*jumps off building and luckily lands on a person and survives*
*crawls out from under Shadow*
If you believe that, you’d believe anything!
A whiiiile back, I watched a documentary on the OJ Simpson trial. One of the jurors they interviewed, when asked why they didn’t believe the DNA evidence (it’s been too long, so I can’t claim this is an exact quote):
“Well, they were saying that there was a one in (1 or 2) billion chance that the blood could have come from someone else with the same DNA, but there’s not that many people in the world! They had to be making that up!”
No, I’m not kidding.
so not helpful to give out his address.
why not is this your neighbor?
Akshully, in many U.S. states it is required to notify the community of the address of pedophiles.
But I don’t know why they have withheld the name of the cat.
Witpuss Protection Program?
Good morning GBF. What other protection programs you know LOL.
lolz… it just seems giving angries directions to the house of someone who is still awaiting trial is a bit medieval.
Purrfect punch line. (^_^)
are you afraid someone will harm the cat?
^ ichweiss nicht
Good morning Fuzz on. I don’t know what you mean, are you calling me a name LOL.
Fuzz is speaking German, 5 eagles. He just said “I do not know”.
Well I don’t know either.
good morning, my feathered friend
(and with the above “ichweiss nicht” — I was playing with the fact that the user “kittydidit” had changed their name from what they’d used before, “ichweiss” — “ich weiss nicht” means, “I don’t know”, while “ichweiss nicht” means “not ichweiss”)
Good morning to everyone!
So the space between ich weiss means something different then when the word is together?
n o
^ k n o w s
BTW – ß. Just sayin’.
no scheiße
Yeah in other languages the slitest differences can make a big difference.
Well, in English there’s usually a slight difference between “therapist” and “the rapist.”
(If not, a new therapist would probably be a good idea.)
Good morning all.
Yaaaa the cat good f**king excuse, what an animal to blame it on a beautiful animal.
Lolcats gone bad.
Saw this couple of days ago.
So hilarious:P
The cunning cat knew he/she would get away with it because we (humans) are too naive and narrowminded. (clickie)
Desktop cat is in ur room, dowloading child prono.
Good morning Halifax. I don’t have a cat or dog, but I have a fish. Do you think he will jump out and download stuff on my computer?
I have 2 cats, 2 laptops, and one computer. So, I’m screwd.
You are so screwed Shadowsniper. Good morning.
Good morning to you too.
I use to have a dog and 4 fish, but they all died. The dog died a year or 2 ago.
I had 7 horses, but they never really typed, just smashed keyboards really, so it can not have been them!
Blame it on the cows!
*see “click clack Moo, cows that type” great children’s book*
I have two Laptops and one desktop. I have two budgies who can actually type. So i’m even more screwed
Morning to you too, 5eags!
I doubt your fish will dowload stuff on your computer, unless it is actually on of those European robot-fish that fell into the wrong hands.
More likely, (s)he’ll download some wet and wild things and then just act Koi about it. *morning squeezies to all*
You never know, it may well Carp on about it!
*foopsqueeze*
You just got to have the right Tuna about it.
He was Snookered.
*squeezies all around*
*checks the day*
Yea!!! Commando Thursday!
You better keep an eye on it, though, or you may be floundering for an excuse when the cops come!
*BIG squeezes all around*
Just don’t Trout around.
*sqeezes all around too*
Must be a k@fish.
Bass on the outcome it is a warning from all cats.
That would be cruel and funny at the same time.
Mr Sparkiee despite his problem that fact is he was probably sex molested to. We as a society need to address this problem now not after the fact. I feel the same way some days too.
Well, you do have to break the cycle somewhere.
Long-held theory for rapists of children or adults: First offense, castration. If they manage to commit a second offense, a rocket would be amusing… but a nice stout tree and a few feet of rope would be cheaper.
I can has kitty pr0n?
Here, klitty klitty
*Finds the cat typing* Holy Crap! Get off of the computer you cat!
Dude!!! I have paws…I can’t type!!!!
I can has child pron?
You totally pr0nd your owner, kitty dude.
*beats kitty to a pulp*
*lifts leg and tinkles on kitty*
*goes off on quest to clear name*
I didn’t think cats lifted their legs. You sure you don’t have a little dog in you?
Or maybe you would rather a little Squirrel in you?
*considers cross pollination offering*
*dog / squirrel*
Nah … I pass.
Squirrel!!!
My cats just get on my word processor when I’m not looking and type stuff in strange languages.
… nothing mew there …
Mwat ever.
… sounds somehow inspired …
If an infinite number of cats were put on an infinite number of word processors would one of them eventually write the “Great Catsby”?
lol … and lots of “graphic” novels
A Tale of Two Kitties?
Kitty Kitty, Gang Bang…
ha what an idiot.
It was shotacat!!
Its like when this one guy in looney tunes is the only one the frog dances for.
This made me giggle
I’m inclined to think this excuse is bunk – cats don’t surf the web; they drill!
….behind the sofa!
Dun! Dun! Dun!
You know what they say:
If the sofa is a rockin…
…replace it!
Come on in.
…..kitty’s been bloggin’?
nothing you can do — don’t bother knockin’ it
someone should tell the guy from “racism fail” that if the cat can figure the computer out he should also be able to.
*coughs up a hairball on Diana*
Ooopsy!!!!
*scratches Jensen Beach’s cat behind the ears*
Good Kitty!
*purrrrrrr*
… What if it’s true and he’s been FRAMED by the evil paedocats?!?!?! :O
Noone will ever believe him!!!11
Cats are more evil than we thought.
*smiles menacingly*
We are?
Ever seen a cat at a fish bowl?
The fish taunt us with their big oogly eyes and stuff…
“If you get simple beauty and naughty else, You get about the best thing God invents” ~ Robert Browning, mostly
She walks in beauty like the naught-y,
of cloudless climes and starry skies…
OK, that’s a stretch, even for me.
It’s the haughty and the naughty.
*tries to download bootiful hawt dauter*
This is bullsh*t!!!
I am innocent. I am not even interested in the two-legged variety.
^ belongs in the zoo … o’ philly
Come on out we caught you red pawed.
Think we should get Jensen Beach’s cat – Leila fixed?
*ponders*
Get her de-pawed?
Maybe some kitten mittens so she can’t use the keyboard?
*brandishes claws*
*hisssssssssssssss!!!!!*
*gets catnip* Its ok, Leila kitty. We don’t want another episode like last time. I can’t afford new drapes again.
*sniffs catnip*
*turns head and walks away with tail up*
*reminds the human to make note of my name*
*Squints eyes* All right, time for the big guns. *ominous music plays in background*
Laserpointer!
*comes back running* YAY!!!!!
*starts to chase the red dot*
*absolutely sure it will be caught today*
*Sits and watches, giggling*
*adds WIK’s name to the “clothes I must piss on” list*
*continues to chase red dot*
*sigh* Just not my shoes again?
Okay … maybe just a hairball then.
Did someone say SHOES!!!
I like those curtains too, they matched the carpet so well.
*ROFLmeows*
You are one bad doggie!!!
No I am a good dog…
that thinks bads things.
That’s deep.
Well, what did you expect? I am not a little dog.
Seriously, that doesn’t just happen. When you go that light of a color, it takes work.
Guess you haven’t heard of this product then. CLICKIE!!!
So. Cool. I’m getting purple.
Wait, I have really dark hair so I would have to bleach it first.
On second thought, I’m good.
I can give you a hand.
*gets ShamWow ready*
Perhaps if you go blonde first? That’s what I will try.
I would just shave then go over the area with a sharpie.
Then nothing will match unless you shave your head too.
Pisst… Leila, have you ever bleached the hair on your head? It burns, and itches, and burns!!! I’m just gonna get some Manic Panic.
I am a brunette. I never considered going blonde even though I had some reddish blonde highlights put in my curls.
I feel a slight tingle when my hairdress uses just the regular dye. I !magine bleaching would burn like a mofo!
I got a wild idea when I was young(er) to bleach my very dark hair then dye it purple, it hurt like hell and turned orange.
All I have to do is spend several hours at the beach and it turns red, I think its a good excuse to sit in the sun all day. 
Did someone say a trip to the beach?
*puts on bikini*
I am ready!!!!!
WIK, I wish I was that adventerous with my hair. The craziest thing I’ve done is just highlights. Yawn. Those are even gone now because my daughter prefers me in my natural hair for her wedding.
There is nothing broken. Nothing to fix but thank you!!!!
*squeezes Boobie and her own for good measure*
I am just here to clear my name.
*Squeeze!*
*covers all 8 teets*
WTF?
*tail popped out*
Ooops I was going to use *h8* in there somewhere.
catnip slip?
Who let the cat out of the bag?
who who who?
8 teat sweet
see her walkin down the street
now I have to ask you confidentially
8 teat sweet
Tough titty said the kitty, but the milk’s still good?
kitty bitty! oh so tasty
The cat belongs to all of the beach community?
Not anymore. Will you take me with you?
*does the #8 between Moomin’s legs*
awe cute! but I know what that cat is thinking about
Doin’ #2?
*perched on the sofa, eyes Skratdaddy with much contempt*
*starts licking paw and grooms face*
*runs back in*
Na Na Na Nah…You can’t catch me!!!
*runs back out*
Thank goodness for my cat reflexes.
*chases after Skratdaddy*
*drops him to the group with one swift paw smack to the legs*
*works ALL claws into him*
*satisfied retreats to be perched on the sofa*
*cleans wounds*
I feel a little weird.
Somethings just not right.
My temperature is rising….I think, Oh No,…
♫ Well the first time that I got it
I was just 10 years old
I got it from some kitty next door
Well I went and seen the doctor
And he gave me the cure
I think I got it some more
They give me cat scratch fever
Cat scratch fever
I got it bad scratch fever
Cat scratch fever ♫
Wang dang, sweet poontang!
*gets off sofa*
*starts head banging*
Awesome tune!!! Sorry about the cuts and stuff…
on some kiddies
heeeerreee kiddy kiddy kiddy
*rubs face on granny*
*squeeze*
Meow! You called?
*I wonder If I’ll be found out* Meow!
now how the hell does the cat keep finding my login and credit card details?
*I’ll never tell hehehe* Meow!
*squeeze!*
dang cats always misunderstanding instructions
*MEOWrofl*
You are funny!! It’s why I chose you to serve me granny. *purrrrr*
Got soy milk?
for sure, but I know you prefer the rice milk
*ear scratch*
*purrrrrr*
um…thank you!
*ignores rice milk and enjoys ear scratch*
*searches for Brewski for some soy milk*
*pets the pretty kitty*
*squeeze*
*purrrrrrr*
Kitties into kiddies? Ew!
*grabs pepper spray*
All LIES!!!
*purrs at the sight of Brewski* Pet me?
*grabs camera*
Ha! You missed it! Wrong thread!
:p
damn! I’ll have to get the cat to google it
that is HOT!
How horrible would if be if it were true?
Disturbing, and wrong, very wrong.
Me…in a nutshell.
*waits with camera to see Leila lick herself*
Funny, that’s the first thing my cat does when the camera comes out.
*looks up from licking self*
What?
My God!!!
*jealous*
The flexibility! I must restart my yoga practice!
Well, actually, it all started when it was looking for a recipe involving tiger prawns, and, well… you know how one gets redirected. *Shrug*
*Facepalm*
Name change fail.
*Hands Brewski logbook with Duroc’s appearance duly noted*
Oh great! I haven’t seen him yet today, but I haven’t read the old fails!
*bearly squeeze*
*suspiciously eyes “Brewski” up above*
aiki’s website is down Brewski. I haven’t been able to send contact information. Will have to wait till he returns from his honemoon.
You can find me, google “spilled beer fail”.
K…
I have so much work but NO desire to jump into it. What do I do?
Look at the comments section of “spilled beer fail”. It’ll take all of 10 seconds. You’ll understand when you get there.
You bearly squeezed me? Can I have another, this time with gusto?
*SQUEEEEEEEEZE*
*SQUEEEEEEEZE!!!!!*
*pop!*
*offers cup of coffee*
maybe the cat was abused as a kitten, I mean look at that guy!
Revenge is such sweet sorrow.
Yeah, he looks like a kitty predator.
Kitty revenge is a dish best served in a very confused manner leading to jail time!
*evil toothy grin*
Or with tuna.
lets do fish puns again.
You’ll Trout about in the cell wonder how did this happen.
after he’d taken it up the bass
It was a crappie situation.
So he is up the creek Salmon the same thing that he didn’t do it.
and a big cell mate called bubba
Confusion can be fun even when someone gets hurt or jailed.
My dog ate my homeworks ones….
*humps leg*
*ROFLmeow*
ShamWow granny?
yes please! seamonkey’s leg is all slimy
BLECH!!!
*gives a shamwow to granny*
Perhaps you should be a little choosy when humping legs, yes?
I could see you were busy down, I mean, up there
hehe
um…a cat’s gotta do what a cat’s gotta do, ya know?
well it should be clean by now! LOL
it was after the mouse!…. or a bit of rat maybe
Maybe it was the mouse or a bit of rat that did it.
YES!!! The truth finally come out.
the mouse was after the cheesy residue on the keyboard and the cat went after it
:shocvk:
*:shock:
*gives granny
*
*hisses @ granny*
*flees thread*
well he is from the treasure coast
fiddle me timber aarrrrr!!!
I love that he says that there was “Strange material” downloaded – and yet… it wasn’t deleted.
Poor cat – bein’ put in the dawghouse like that…
they’re going to have trouble finding it a home when the owner goes to jail!
LOL cat:Im in ur computer d0wnloading child p0rnografy xD
MJ came back as a cat???????? (clickie)
That’s what happens when you give the cat Admin rights
Actually I think the cat was a power user.
Oh, and the guy forgot to delete all thousand pics. You know how it is, you just get busy changing the litterbox and things just slip your mind…
Damn your Vulcan logic, Spock! (^_~)
This is a conspiracy against us humans! I had a co-worker who was on call for the hospital but didn’t report for work as her cat knocked the phone off the hook. Coincidence with pr0n kitty? I say not
the cat in question probably would be more inclined to watch pictures of fish.
And THIS is how curiosity killed the cat
Heh, saw the headline on daily Snopes.
Cats sure are mysterious creatures.
Lol leaving the cat to jump on the keyboard, that explains alot from the WoW players
Allright, but is it absolutely positively sure that a cat could NOT do this? Imagine the tragedy for this gentleman if he actually tells the truth!
lol I saw this before it got here
and it was a lolcat!!
I’ve Actually Seen This Article O_O
Weird
Clever cat making a way with it. Probably corrupted the judge too. Bad cat, bad!
Rofl, I heard about this on the news. I wouldn’t have guessed it would end up here XD
my cat is the master of his domain
Sexehcat!!! :O
Silly feline… should have stuck to looking at the wonderbra pictures in the Sears c@alogue.
Perhaps he was abused by a picture as a kid.
looks like a shot from his webcam while he was in the middle of appreciating what his cat inadvertently downloaded
…what, didn’t he have a younger brother?
He must die!
I saw this when it was first releasd… bailed it out to FB.
This guy claimed he was out in a green thong (which didn’t cover enough) to get some Vitamin D. Definite excuse fail!
Click on my name to get to the link or here: for Vitamin D guy
http://www.wdtn.com/dpp/video/WDTN_Man_in_thong_taken_to_jail
GARFIELD!
i believe this is the real article
http://www.thelighthouse-cafe.com/cat/cat.html
Cat Win.
yeah my cat does that all the time
Randomman lol’d at poor excuse, now had the jury been made of people who visit a certain site that shall not be named and had he said his pet bear had done it they might have believed him.
That’s either one really messed up man…
Or one really, really messed up cat.
Figures….he blamed teh kitteh…
feck US laws
And now it seems a dead cat may have played a part in the plane vs. helicopter crash over the Hudson River.
woa, thats probably the most retarded guy thats ever lived… did he actually think that anyone would buy that excuse
he could just as well have said that he caught the cat jacking off when he came back, at least then the cat would’ve had a motive
Lol That picture of him was taken 7th of aug thats mah bday ^_^
Haha, Maybe Teh Kidz Haz Cheezburgerz
There was pedobear, now theres pedocat!
What a perrrrr-vert
The cat was always bullied as a kitten by his littermates…
Oh sh**! Here he comes again ! ( meow ) Click off !! Click off !!
Hey, the good thing is the authorities didn’t buy it, right?
Why a certain website has a “Florida” tag, Edition 267.
That was possible.
If you buy the evolution theory you buy this one lol
Play him off keyboard cat!
I live like 1 mile from Jensen Beach. Obviously, I was surprised. I mean, what if my cat runs out and hangs with his cat at night?
lolycat
someone’s gonna need a judicial advocat