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Hop to it, man!
SECOND !!
IM SECOND
*adds injury to insult*
*holds up “Do Not Feed the Trolls” sign for MRN to see*
*squeeze*
*holds up “Do Feed the Trolls Poison” sign*
*snork!*
*holds up “Don’t Snork at my Sign” sign*
“We’re serious :[“
*snorks at the signs anyway*
You’ll pay for that!
*sighs and takes out wallet*
Fine. How much is it?
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.
*takes out old school adding machine*
*starts hammering away at keys*
*for a long time*
*people trip over really long paper tape*
Oh dear, will that be cash, check or charge?
Charge, please
*hands undead cashier Dr B’s credit card*
Into the escalator of Death
Rode the unicycled.
*I’ll have a charge light*
another reply, cause i can
You’re racist.
Even I think you suck.
*Holds Up “PLEASE DO KILL THE TROLLS IN ANY WAY YOU LIKE ….PLEASE! PLEASE!” Sign*
Awww, how could I pass up that line?
I lol’d, MRN. *squeeze*
‘Twas definitely worth it, MRN…let’s add assault to the wounds.
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle,
he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
*Chough*
I didn’t get fired ’cause of that!
Do not feed Da Huuuuuuuudge.
z0mg a homestar runner reference
holds up “Do not Feed the Do Not Feed the Trolls Nazi’s”
… sign…?
and isnt it great? a place where trolls can come together to entertain themselves and others without dealing with stupid mfers getting pissed off all the time.
u’re not second fool
Looks like some kind of uni’tard.
Well at least he had unilateral movement.
But a universal lack of good judgment.
They’ll need to buy a new balustrade unit.
He walked away like his balustrade unit remained intact. Maybe he was smart enough to wear protection.
Lol yeah, it reminds me of the guys kicking in the vending machine. (Vending machine fail)
He only had uni-vision.
Uni-cyclops
(must have a uni-brow, as well)
(oops … Leila already did that “one” VVV)
Unibrow:
[:
Serious Cyclops:
[. [
Unitarian Churchgoer
Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
Avoid bad habits.
So nun-chucking actually IS a good way to defend yourself!
Be thankful for all of your dais.
Unless you hit yourself in the head.
Welcome to the fryer’s club, Dragon!
(Gawd, you make me laugh!)
ROFL!!
*can’t get the !mage of Dragon chucking nuns out of my head*
SNORK-ROFL-HAHAHAHAHA!
@E_M “safe sects” ROFLMFAO!!!!!!! nice one
OMG Dragon!!!! lolololol!! this thread is making my day!!
You can kiss a Nun once or twice, but don’t get into the habit.
What an abbot comment.
NO HELMET!
NO IM SECOND NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! >:)
hahaha he failed but not for the reason we all expected he would, right, right?
am I right?
Yes, I was cringing in anticipation of some broken teeth- instead, I wonder how much that cost to fix?
There is no fail here. That is win, all day.
SECOND !
A smashing performance!
Unparalleled!
Unbalanced!
Unstable!
Un-unbreakable.
Unbearable.
Unacceptable
Un-uni-re-cyclable.
Undefinetely unwise.
Uncle!
Nonparail.
Now that’s some good raillery right there!
*POUNCE!!!*
*Grabs ahold!!!*
*Swings aboard!!*
(umm… hope yopu don’t mind a third…)
It was like that when I got here.
oh wheelie?
I think we’ll have to escalate this.
*stairs of disbelief*
Now you are just trying to get a rise out of me.
Walkway over there and calm down. Take it one step at a time.
Sorry, sometimes I just feel like people tread on me.
You need to elevate your thinking.
That is very uplifting advice, thank you.
Always inclined to help … even if you’re inclined to be upside down.
Being upside down will eventually lead to sloth ascendancy.
…ǝɯıʇ ɐ ʇɐ dǝʇs ǝuO
Dont try to go escalator to heaven upside down! Might go to wrong place!
*Slips few “the”s in upper post*
♫ Break on through to the other side. ♫
Augh! *puts in anti-ear-worm plugs*
It may be…too late for me. Go on…save yourselves…..
When the music’s over,
pull out the plugs.
♪ This is the end, beautiful friend. This is the end ♫
♪ Hello, I love you
Let me jump … ah sh!t I’m so lame ♫
♫ Jumpin Jack Crash ♫ ♫
(posted this below — but fits here better!!)
♪♪ It’s glass, glass, glass! ♫
(moved mine, too!)
True. “Where are the chickens?” should be of greater interest.
(moved Arthur’s hilarious post from the 1st fail of the day)
I went back to find the post in it’s original context. It’s hysterical.
Hee…! Arthur usually is.
♫ In between
What I find is pleasing and I’m feeling fine
I’m the one you’re using, please don’t push me aside
We could’ve made it cruising, yeah ♫
♪ Uni way you want it, that’s the way you need it
Uni way you want it ♫
Riders on the
stormdumb.“when you give this man a ride, few braincells will die,
dumb unicyclists…”
♫ Once you know you can never go back ♫
♫ I gotta take it on the other side ♫
♫ “Before you slip into unconsciousness” ♫
WOOT WOOT — a new fail!!!
phew *whipes perspiration from brow* much better
*steals extra “h” from abtract’s post*
*tries to jump escalator on get-away unicycle*
*CRASH!*
Is it an extra “h” or an extra “e”?
♫ I say wipe it.
Wipe it good. ♫
*plays “Wipe Out”*
Worst toilet paper add campaign ever!
I must have been doing it wrong then, because I thought toilet paper SUBTRACTED instead of adding.
*Looks at previous post… decides he’s always prefered double D’s anyway, changes nothing*
lol
yeah, that ,unfortunately, is a common one for me.
More like an escalator fail than a unicyle fail. Not his fault the escalator is a P.O.S.
Yeah, stupid glass support not meant to take 200 pounds of man and machine smashing into it at an angle! What a POS!
Well, there is no Warning sign –
Probably took it down first sohe wouldn’t hit it… safety first
Wrong. Safety is third.
Safety is always third.
4. PROFIT!
I believe 4. is ???? and 5. is PROFIT? No? Yes? Maybe?
Why not?
Long time, no see, McFail!! *squeeze*
*squeeze* I’ve been busy at work (and on some days slightly perturbed by the random comments on here) so I haven’t been posting very much. Though I do peek in quite often.
There have always been perturbing comments on Failblog. We really shouldn’t let them chase away the brilliant, fun, funny commenters, though. I hope you’ll pop in now and again!
Yes please come play, if you hide then ‘they’ win.
Definitely.
Maybe.
6. Nonprofit?Now that’s a terrible weapon of mass destruction!
damn it, that was my line!! BTW, I use it in real life all the time
ture, come on…. even clothes irons have a warning not to iron clothes while on body…. *snork*
… otherwise there could be a tort involved … for sure
You can cook a tort with an iron??
Omg…Elsa_Mama…! I thought the exact same question! I was just too tortoise-like to post it.
That was awfully negligent of you Dragonwriter.
GMTA — It would be so cool — plug in the iron, take a shower and have a lovely fresh tort for breakfast AND the iron is all ready to go for your clothes!
AND – your clothes will smell like raspberry once you iron them with the tort-iron!
Well, that wasn’t quite earth-shattering, was it?
I guess this fail didn’t rock your world?
Those who jump on glass elevators, shouldn’t be stoned.
*RIGL*
Fools rush in where angles fail to tread.
Yes, it is a very obtuse problem, that has some acute results …
Riiiight
Powered by Dr B! No relation to Ms B, I think.
.
*confetti*
Yay, Dr B!!!!
Your Stairway to Heaven has arrived!
*Pops champagne corks – all 24 of them at once*
*Distributes bottles before Dragon gets to all of them*
Drink up in honor of Dr B!
*toasts*
*sips*
*smiles*
*phweeeeet!*
Yay for Dr. B! (Yes, no relation
)
Cheers, Dr B!
*Yoinks! a few bottles of bubbly for later*
*ǝʞɐɔ uʍop-ǝpısdn ǝןddɐǝuıd sɹǝʌıןǝp*
OK … now you and DW are just showing off!!!
Heeeeeeeee…! I can always count on my Admiral!
*pops champagne cork*
*toasts DrB*
…I mean…NOOOOO! I didn’t make him all toasty, I just toasted him! No, wait…I made him a toast. NO! ACK!!
*dispenses with the toast*
*guzzles champagne in DrB’s honor instead*
*Eats some toasted pineapple upside down cake*
*guzzles a champagne chaser*
*puts some cake on a plate and drops it next to Qwaz’s head V*
Qwaz has a head V? What is a head V?
The opposite of something that is light?
A hum V that doesn’t know the words?
*pours champagne into Elsa_Mama’s stemless wine glasses*
Yea!!! Any champagne left??
Why thank you Admiral — I always wanted to be a two-fisted drinker …
*squeeeeeezes! the Elsa_Mama*
How are you, sweetie?
I’m OK — Not being very productive today though
I really need to get back in the swing of things at work …
*puts Elsa_Mama on a swing*
*gently pushes*
Now…when I can get you to say, “WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”, I’ll know I’ve done my job!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
*squeeeeeezzzze* Ms. B and DW!!!
˙ǝsɐǝןd ‘ǝʞɐɔ ǝɯos ǝʞıן p,ı
And Qwaz joins the upside down sloth club — congrats Qwaz!!!
I think I may lay off of that. Haven’t built up a tolerance to the blood rushing to my head.
And you never will if you stop now. The question is … is that a good thing or a bad thing?
the bloody head expert ^
There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is a bunch of broken glass.
And she’s buying….wait a minute, she can’t buy nothing with broken glass.
Nevermind.
You can’t buy nothing, but can you buy something?
Sorry, my West Virginia was slipping out a bit there.
*shoves WV back under cover*
♫ Ooh! Double Negative Vision! ♫
Actually, you can buy nothing – but it’s typically way overpriced.
And if you’re in Dire Straits, you can probably get money for nothing.
And your chicks for free.
*gives fuzz some free chickens*
lol … THERE are the chickens!!
(Just don’t tell Fox news!)
Woopwoop for Sir B.
Wooptiteewoop for the knaxelated Doc!
*smoochies*
Hooray for Dr B, but where has he been?
Maybe he’s taking a sabbatical.
*throws confetti for Dr B*
He’s actually been on vacation to the States!
*throws more confetti*
Which ones? States of mind? States of consciousness?
State of confusion.
State of the Union.
State of disaster.
The State.
.
^ State of
?
I didn’t (couldn’t) watch it all — is the end better
I dunno…I NO CLICKIE-d!
That’s right — you have a no-clicky policy!!!
*facepalm*
.
The State. You either like it or you don’t.
.
It’s non-P.C. sketch comedy from the 90′s.
Double-wee teeparty fail?
Ms B got a PhD?? Woo!
Congrats to Dr B!!!
*guzzles champagne*
*urp*
Er, any more champagne?
No, but still gots plenty of Shampaghe
Way late but…
Yay Dr.B you operating with one of the best brains around here!
Jumpin Jack Crash …
It’s glass, glass, glass!
sounds like a Judy Tuesday reference : )
Who could hang a name on me?
buba® eats bogeys too.
it was the russians!
Okay, that was kinda surprising. I was expecting a nutshot or faceplant.
If you would like either, I’m sure someone here could oblige. We’re a very helpful sort!
I meant for the guy with the unicyle.
But hey, if you want to go trip him or kick him in the sack a few time, please, go right ahead.
How come it’s never called a nutplant?
Kinda sounds dirty.
huh huh….nutplant..huhuhuh
Sounds more like a gymnastics trick that requires very precise timing and coordination.
“Here goes Qwaz for the nutplant… And he sticks the landing!”
(Pun intended)
hm … sounds a lot like synchronized sticking
Sounds like a two person sport …
That gives me a mental !mage of a plant with droopy fruit.
Hairy fruit sacks?
I first read that as hairy fruit snacks. You know, the kind you find in the back seat of the car, the ones the kids left behind.
:ick:
You know that thing in the back of the fridge? I think it just had twins.
:sick:
Has it learned to talk yet? When it does I suggest you name it Ol’ Drippy.
lol, Mr. Green is a lot like Gir. “Yay, I’m gonna be sick!!!!!!”
That reminds me, I need to clean my ‘fridge.
I think it;’s not called a nutplant cuz if you do plant your nuts, the won’t stay planted. They will *SQUISH!* or *SPLAT!*
Ow… Just… Ow…
They don’t squish or splat, they just fall off. The good news is you can just put them back on.
Clickie!! Clickie!!
Let’s nutmake any more comments about nuts, all right?
Cun’t do that, nut way!
You do nut like my commnut?
*c0ckpunches Lefty*
Clickie! SFW!
My friend has the entire onion movie. We watch it every time we drink.
I was like that with the movie Beerfest. Then I died. Maybe I watched it too much?
If you can believe it: I’ve never seen “Beerfest”. Is it worth watching?
It stars Cloris Leachman…can’t be that bad. Besides all of the gratutious nudity and crude humo(u)r, it does have a great story. Or not, I didn’t get past the gratituous nudity and crude humo(u)r to notice. Overall, I give it two circles and a “snap”
She hasn’t always been old.
But she has always been Cloris Leachman.
Worth watching? A definite yes. Maybe not a brilliant movie, but tons of fun.
I thought it looked a tad stupid just glancing at it, so never watched it. But, I thought “Strange Brew” was hilarious. So I can appreciate simple, fun, silly humor.
*puts on Groucho glasses and waggles eyebrows*
*says the secret word*
I just wached Alien versus pretador tonight. It was hilarious!
Yay!
*dances*
*Hands AA the $100 he won*
Thanks, Mr. Scott! Not the prize I was looking for, but I won’t turn down F$100.
Oh, you’ve already won the prize you were looking for…!
I want to know how he new the secret word was Onomatopoeia and how did he work it into the conversation?
Yeah, bingo. Wear the six-pack goggles for it, but try to avoid those case-goggles!
Ah Ha! It wasn’t me this time.
*erases nut comment*
I swear!
Was that a scene from the Nut Cracker??
His dreams of joining Britney Spears on tour fell to pieces.
Isn’t it sad to see someones dreams come crashing down like that?
Isn’t it sad to see someone’s dreams come crashing down like that?
Whoa. Double vision.
♪(Oooh, double vision) ZA eats me out of my head, eatin’ me out of my head
I wanna stick around till I can’t see straight.
I see we both had the same idea, fuzz, but I like yours so much better!
thanks … er … wait … you like the taste of my half-brainy ideas, too?
*snork!*
How? That’s “just like a circus”.
*lifts unibrow*
I am not amused.
Leila!
*pounce!*
Oooow!!!
Hello you beautiful blue thang you!! *squeeze*
Hi Leila!
*tries to pounce, falls, breaks glass*
Oh you poor thing!! Let me help you up and *squeeze* – hope it makes it better.
*pounces Judy pouncing Leila*
Oooooooh…menage au trois of sorts.
*squeeze Brewski*
*pounces the whole lot*
Good to see you all!
Hi Ms B! How did you get up there on top of everyone?
I took a running start. It helps to get more height.
*tickles brewski and leila*
*squeeses Ms B*
*adds a few tickles*
*squeezes the whole lot of ya*
*thinks a lot of you guys*
*squeezes!*
Wow, all sorts of awesome failpeeps in a big pile!
*hugs all around*
*Joins the FailPile*
Geronimoooooooooooooooooo!
*burrows into pile*
*joins pile* *supersqueezes for all!!!*
*Squeezes all* Howdy everyone.
Go’ night !
*Joins squeezing*
Aw, no fair! My return squeezies got eaten! Blogmonster must be feeling lonely, being left out of all the squeezes.
It’s OK, you can keep those, blogmonster!
*SQUEEZES to make up for any missed squeezes*
*and a smooch for good measure*
This is great – - it’s like a cuddle puddle in the middle of the week!
*snuggles in for the remainder of the fail*
Wiggles into middle of the pile … ahhhhh, just what I needed …
Ooh…I could really use a hug right about now.
*curls up in the cuddle-puddle with failfriends*
Wraps arms around DW and *SQQQQQUUUUEEEEEZZZZEEEEES* her til she squeaks!! *smooches*
Aaaaaaaaaah. Theng-kew, my friend.
Yer welcome — sometimes you just gotta be squeezed til you squeak!!
You just reminded me of a funny my son did. I was complaining to my mom about one of those horrendous stories on the news about a parent abusing their little ones. I told her that when I read/hear these kinds of stories it just makes me want to go home and squeeze my children. My son wandered into the room just as I said this last bit and piped in, “Squeeze us ’till we pop!”
And if they squeak and then pop — you know you really did it right!!
♪♫ *pop* goes the squeezlee ♪♫
*conveys some good vibrations to friends via squeaky-squeek, and add some more squeezes*
@ E_M “sometimes you just gotta be squeezed til you squeak!!” *snork* , i actually did, right out loud!!
Hee…and I have a kitten who will squeak for squeezes! The symmetry amuses me.
*squeaky-squeeze*
*tiptoes in the room*
*sneaky squeaky squeezes for all failfriends!*
squeak! …. POP! ahhhhh…. squeezed til I squeaked and popped …
Ohhh, and over in the competitors kitchen it looks like Brewski is using a measuring cup to ensure adequate amounts of love are spread throughout. Squeezon?
*squeezes for those that like them*
Well, that is because you are hard to please.
LIES!!
Perhaps, you’re just not trying hard enough. Did you think about that Jules? *squeeze*
Do or do not there is no try.
Then let’s get to it!
One day little Danny was in Sunday School, and the preacher asked what part of the body went to heaven first.
Susie said your heart, ’cause you need it to love.
Richie said your head, ’cause you need it to think.
Little Danny raised his hand and the pastor called on him reluctantly. Danny said, “Your feet.”
Confused, the pastor asked why.
Danny replied, “I was walking past my mom’s room last night and she had her feet in the air and then she screamed, “Oh God, I’m coming!”
Uh…where was she going?
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Nancy?”
“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”
The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid cat.”
It’s not the cat’s fault. The fish was stupid enough to get caugh.
coughcaughcough
I fear you both misspelled “caut”.
lol … I’d ♥ to cauterize U
Women’s Vocabulary
Fine – This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks – this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
Five Minutes – This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.
Nothing – This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with “Fine”.
Go Ahead – (With Raised Eyebrows!) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.
Go Ahead – (Normal Eyebrows) This means “I give up” or “Do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.
– This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.
– Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
That’s Okay – This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”.
Please Do – This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.
Thanks – A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say “You’re welcome”.
Thanks A Lot – This is much different from “Thanks”. A woman will say “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh” as she will only tell you “Nothing”.
*RIGLMAO*
There’s nothing on that list I haven’t seen done by both sexes. Both men and women can be manipulative in relationships. I find nothing funny at all about ascribing manipulative behavio(u)r as a “woman thing”.
*walks far away from Jules and ZA*
My…GAWD.
*has to rethink some things about some people*
Hmmmm…. strange reaction…
Just a silly post — no??? One to be ignored methinks.
Knee-jerk reaction, Elsa_Mama. I just can’t think of misogyny as silly or funny, so I knee the jerk who posts it. Sorry.
*snork!*
That’s one of the things we love about you, Dragon.
*squeeze*
No biggie — I just hate it when the threads spiral out of control into the “bad zone.” Like the entire last Fail … I know I can just ignore those too, but well …
Oh man…I tried reading the comments from the last fail and gave up about a third of the way through. I just couldn’t stomach it any more. So I understand exactly what you mean.
*squeeze*
*squeezes Lurk, too, ‘cuz she’s awesome*
*grabs the Admiral and pulls him into a more playful and flirty thread*
Why? Why did I go look? I should have known better!!
There, there Avis. *pat. pat*
*offers a jar of freshly baked
cookies*
There, there…
*pat pat pat*
Um… JINX!!
Ha ha! She can’t talk until someone says Leila ♀ whose clone is with Malicite for errands and stuff!
Dang…
Ha ha! Now she can’t talk until somebody says Leila!
Wait a minute..
Ok, you beat me to it, Ms B. Now I don’t feel so bad.
*squeeze*
Great minds, Lurk dear!
*SQUEEZE!*
I am seriously glad I wasn’t here for that fail.
*squeezes all around*
well, i lold, Jules. to each his own. I thought the joke about the cat was conciderably more disturbing
@Avis hi and welcome. I wish I had missed this morning’s fail. I ended up leaving to look at lolcats.
*looks around*
Ahem!!!!
hi Leila, how are ya?
I tend to laugh at things that I find funny. I tend not to laugh at things I take seriously.
I never considered taking Jules joke seriously, hence the laughter. Oh no … it WAS a joke, wasn’t it?
Leila…. Your E-Kitty… Is Baaack. >:)
Yo da man fo da job, Jules.
He be ma dawg!!!!
I’m sure Chanidividus can help you out with a spiked collar and any other … accessories … you may need.
Picnic supplies?
Or supplies for things to do on a rainy day.
What could you possibly do on a rainy day.
Draw picture here please…
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*connects the dots*
*stares at picture*
*leans head to the right*
*leans head to the left*
Hmmm…that’s a very odd thing to do on a rainy day.
Ooh, you should try it!
If you say so.
*transfers picture to PDA*
*goes looking for Jules*
*does the rain dance*
Rain dammit!! RAIN!!!!!!!!
Do they need to be connected in any particular order? Or — we can play DOTS. You go first.
Hey, who’s rain dancing?!? It’s raining in Idaho now, thank you very little…
Sorry WN but thank you for letting me know.
*packs and flies to Idaho*
Jules will just have to catch up.
LOL, While it is raining in PA too. That must be some dance Leila.
But it’s not raining where she is, and they NEED the rain!
Yeah, my rain dance is ineffective here Avis.
hey, it just started raining here!!! PA
You are welcome abstract!
*squeeze*
lolz, thanks!!
I do need my unibrow…it’s my strength.
Wow! So if you shaved it, is that your Kryptonite? That would make a cool superhero comic.
SUPER-LEILA VS. THE TWEEZER-DEMON!
Tweezer-Demon! You vile fiend! These chains can’t hold me! And you should know that my sidekick, Revlon-Boy, is going to crash through that door any second now!
I know — That is why I called in my sidekick Shaver Man … he he comes now — buzzzzzzzzzzz …..
Gosh Golly Darn you Shaver Man — I told you to stop shaving off my letters!!! Throws an “re” up to join the first “he”
hee hee
Better watch out there — Shaver Man does not like Fuzz — bzzzzzzzzzz…… ohhh, that’s gonna leave a mark!
… oh man, now my concept is gonna be sleepy
*rofl!*
Man, I wish I had a unibrow IRL …then I can shape my brow anyway I want. I like full brows even though they are a pain to take care of.
___O_oHere.
*Throws down banana peel. Waits.*
*Nothing happening*
The things I do for love…
*Walks over banana peel*
*Nothing happens again*
Wow.
*Finds some glass and smashes it*
Qwaz! No! That was a mirror. Quick, throw some salt over your shoulder!
I found some under this ladder. The cat had it. Is this okay?
Yeah, just throw the whole shaker!
That’s just dumb.
Oooh… That last post seemed harsh and mean. I was going for a dumb and dumber joke there.
That’s just dumb.
Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!
He shattered his ego.
And fell on his pride
Landed on his spirit.
Bruised his dignity.
Shelled his nuts.
Killed His Family
Guys do tend to keep their pride in their pants.
Pride AND joy!
Which I would have liked to see ‘shatter’ instead.
Well I’m pretty sure his ego took a beating.
Maybe not. He could just blame it on shoddy escalator engineering.
I like to blame everything on the engineers. If it’s not their fault, it’s definitely Arthur’s.
Well, someone should have figured that a moron would try that trick and designed it to take the punishment. Whoever that person is, should be sued. Or at least admonished severely.
I’m sure the replacement was built to withstand morons. AND had a sign admonishing said morons.
WARNING — Do not jump on or over, face plant, nut plant, nut shot, or engage in any other physical activity on the railing and ballustode of this escalator. Escalator designed not standing on the stairs with hands resting on the railing or ballustrode. Violators may be castrated.”
Hrm … removes the 2d “not” and inserts a “for” in its place — where is a good proof reader when you need one???
Sorry…I was in the whatnot.
You may use the escalator as you would stairs, but it is discouraged.
Nice job vandal.
Though I was surprised by the outcome. I was voting with the “faceshot” or “nutplant” folks above. (faceshot doesn;t sound nice).
only if you’re the one receiving
That escalator was temporarily stairs.
Sorry for the convenience.
Wait a minute… they made a video of themselves destroying property… and they posted it on the net?
Without blurred faces?
But with blurred escalators.
I know, they should have embedded it into a really old fail where no one would ever bother them.
We’ll
finedfind them!Come on gang, we have to solve the mystery of the Unicycle Debacle
*Jumps into Mystery Machine wearing sexy ascot tie*
Rokay Reddie!
Since when is that thing sexy?
When the right man is wearing it, it can be.
Correction: When the right man is wearing it, and nothing else, it can be.
Since it’s the only thing I’m wearing today!
*Considers this*
Ascots rock!
Ooooh, silk too! That may come in handy later.
Ah! So I See You Got Your Chance To Talk To Brewski! Lucky You!
Yes, and before you know it we’ll be in love, and then engaged, and then marriage, and then comes Brewski-Jr in a baby carriage!
Except since we’re both male, I guess we’ll have to adopt.
We did it once, Brewski, we can do it again. Do you want me to call LCB?
*wolf whistles*
Hey if it works for Daphne, its all good
I’ve tried that. It doesn’t work.
*attempts to guzzle beer from beer bong*
Mixing champagne and beer, sweetie? Better slow down or you’ll end up losing some clothing…
*nudges Judy*
*hides the dragon-grog*
Oh, don’t you worry Dragon, I won’t be raiding your Dragon grog anytime soon. At least not on purpose.
*hic!*
*eyes Brewski craftily*
Brewski, you look very uncomfortable. Let’s get you out of those pants so you can relax.
Ah, Lurk, you’re such a selfless sweetie! Always looking out for me!! It is kinda warm in here.
*smooch!*
*grabs popcorn and waits patiently for the inevitable*
*sneaks some of skwirrlgrrl’s popcorn and waits for a Kodak moment*
*sips some of new bottle of Cabo direct from the bottle*
Brings the Kodak and sits down … *shakes parmasan cheese on the popcorn*
*hands skwirrlgrrl a shot o’ Cabo, since her popcorn is being pilfered*
*pilfers popcorn*
*drumroll*
*whips Brewski’s pants off and flings them into the far corner of the room*
*cymbal crash*
Ta daaaa!
*watches in awe*
*standing ovation*
Wow!! Do it again!!!!!!!
*click*
Good thing it’s not Commando Thursday.
Pfffft. For some, it’s a Commando Life.
mmm…. tequila!!
wait… Brewski wasn’t drinking any of THIS was he?
Hmmmm… hey Lurk — same time on Thursday OK?? I’ll bring the good camera and get some money shots!!
I’ll try Elsa_Mama. Hopefully work won’t interfere with my ability to fail.
*searches for pants*
Dang, that girl has a good arm.
I like to think I have good legs, too.
*raids dragon-grog* aaaahhhiiii therere uuumm Brewshki!! haayy, let’s go ddooo that thing we were going to do before but we didn’t ’cause you passed out!! …………shit! *passes out*
Oh GAWD!!! If she pukes, I am NOT cleaning it up!! Just sayin…
“Thing we were going to do”?
Hmm.
Oh, the Brooklyn-Bridge model made out of toothpicks? OK!
No, no, no. How many times do I have to tell you, it’s the glass ceiling that needs to be broken! Now try again.
*tries again*
*breaks glass table*
My bad!
Well at least the TV is still in one piece.
Are you sure? Listen to that sound again.
*stares intensely at sound*
*still can’t taste it*
*feels like fail*
Yes, but it smells like Teen Spirit.
Dudes can break thru the glass ceiling?
It’s how really dumb people get promoted.
Like your boss, … and your boss… and – you over there – even your boss.
*wipes knees*
Hey, I got here on my own merit.
I find that a little hard to swallow.
*does a spit-take*
*ducks*
That’s not a duck that’s a swallow!
*gooses Guan-Di*
That’s not a swallow, that’s a goose.
What do you mean? An African swallow or a European swallow?
I’m from Africa and don’t swallow.
Does that count?
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
*shakes laptop a few times*
LIES!!!!!
*flees*
Leila has fleas??
*gives Leila a flea collar*
I blame Jules!!!!
Well, if you sleep with the dogs
…. (hands Leila some DE — totally natural way to get rid of fleas….)
Where can you get DE, Elsa_Mama?
Serious question??
(we may need to offer some DE-lite to Leila — only seems fair)
dirtworks.net — only use food grade (its white) not the black stuff for pools (its poison) …
As long as it is the diet variety fuzz, I will use it.
Uh, yea. Me too…
Where do I send the bill for the vandalism damage, you dumb ass?
You gotta admit, he stuck the landing.
But he only did a single axial.
No I don’t. He fell forward off of what he broke. That’s not sticking it, that’s sucking it.
I don’t gotta admit nothing, and you can’t make me, nohow! So there!
*sticks out tongue*
I hope he gets the repair bill. And the clean up bill. Destruction of other people’s property shouldn’t be allowed.
Thats a win!He nailed that gap!
Smashing stunt!
This would also be a vandalism-prosecution-avoidance FAIL!
at least he stuck the landing
hahaha now he has to pay
LOL (What a LOSER!!!!!)
“Footloose” is on the radio. That song never fails to put a hitch in my giddyup!
It makes you limp???
What’s wrong with it?
*kicks off Sunday shoes*
*steals brewski’s shoes and lists them on eBay*
Velvet!!
*squeeeeeeeeze*
How are you, girl??
Super-busy! And our phones and internet have been down more than up for a week now.
.
*squeeze*
.
Maybe I should sign up my office with Verizon…
.
How have you been?
Absurdly busy…school starts in less that two weeks!
*faints*
*revives just so she can faint again*
I understand! My advanced AIS class starts on the 24th (just 4 more classes and I’ll have my master’s in accounting). What are you teaching this year?
Well, not spelling, fortunately.
*bukkits*
I’m teaching two writing classes this semester. And WOOHOOOOO!!! Go, you!! We’ll have to have a party when you’re finished, and spend at least six months calling you “Maestra”. That’s a hell of an achievement, there!
LOL! Thanks! I’m looking forward to being done and having what little free time I do have back to do things that are not school-related.
.
It seems like it’s taken forever since I’m doing one class at a time.
.
Are the two writing classes the same or two different class types/levels?
D’oh! I missed this reply…I hope you’re still around, velvet.
The two classes are basically the same, though I just looked at my rosters and for some reason my second class has a lot more upper level students in it. Weird…I wonder how that happened.
*kicks off his Sunday shoes*
*notices his feet are still in them*
*crawls after them*
My first LOL of the day. Thanks, ZA!
Geez…Louise…
WHHHAAAA HAHAH there goes my tax money
escalator fail….
Off topic poll time!
If you had to lose one of your 5 senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, or smell) which would you choose?
I’d choose my sense of taste.
Smell
Continuity.
Decency
Outrage.
Entitlement.
Inhibition.
lol … guess you won’t be needing that Etch-a-sketch manual anymore
Exactly!
Hmmm…but if I choose smell, then I’d basically lose taste as well. I think I’m with Lurk and would go for taste.
Interesting little bit of info, smell really IS taste. At least that’s what my teachers said back in high school. Kinda gross if you ask me.
Come again?
When you smell something tiny particles of whatever it is are hitting the surface of your tongue (this is how it was explained to me, over 15 years ago). The ick factor is high on this one.
Yeah. Thinking about all the time I went to the ladies room and someone decided to take care of their … #2 instead of waiting to go home and … AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Why did you tell me? Why? Why?
Just wait. You’ll think about it again other times too.
Thanks a lot!!!
Maybe I should invest in some heavy duty masks.
*shops for masks online finds shoes instead* Ooooooooh…preeeeety!!!!
Oh you’re cruel Avis.
Another interesting little bit of info, Avis is correct, 75% of what we taste is related to smell HOWEVER, If someone was to truly “loose” their sense of smell you could still taste food.
Let’s say for example someone had an aneurysm and let’s say that during the surgery to repair said aneurysm the part of the brain that processes smell was damaged. This person would still be able to taste food just fine but not smell. So yes smell and taste are realted but only to the point that air is able to move across the sinuses .
.
My sis has sinus issues and had 2 surgeries for it. Because of this she has lost a great deal of her sense of smell. She literally can’t taste the difference between good milk and spoiled milk. She has eaten a whole bowl of cereal with spoiled milk before, then her husband poured some and threw it away. She was pretty grossed out afterward.
:ick!:
Needless to say, she now pays real close attention to expiration dates now!
I guess that means she won’t be going on a date with ZA.
(he expired)
Hey, I represent that!
Poor thing.
My smell is loose, someone catch it please.
Is it realted?
*hugsB2th*
That’s my new word, do you like it?
Very much! I always knew you were a gifted wordsmith.
*helpless laughter*
I hate having a runny nose too.
Yep – it’s dissolved food particles hitting taste receptors vs. airborne particles hitting smell receptors. Interestingly, the nerves that terminate in the nose and allow you to smell go directly to the olfactory bulb, a part of the brain. It’s the only way to bypass the blood-brain barrier, which explains why snorting drugs provides such a quick, effective result.
It may also figure in why smells can so effectively trigger immediately vivid memories … if I remember correctly.
Yeah, if you lost taste, you’d no longer have your sweet tooth or feel the need to salt things. Since we label most poisons, no one would be bitter about losing bitter. I would be a little sour about no longer enjoying lemonade, though.
I have this friend back in St. Louis who’s been in two plane crashes and struck by lightning (let’s call him “Lucky”), and he says that ever since the lightning everything tastes like styrofoam. But for the first year after the strike, everything smelled like roasting pork. He’s a vegetarian now.
You’re not making this up are you?
Nope. He’s a nice guy, and he really does consider himself lucky.
Hell, I’d consider him an effing ten-leaf clover! Ye GAWDS!!
All things considered, I still wouldn’t want to be on a plane with him. Yeah, we might survive the crash, but the PTSD would do me in.
I feel bad and happy for him at the same time.
Interesting topic, Lurk.
I think I’m going to go along with the group (yes, two people can be a group) and go with taste. I couldn’t bear not being able to hear a child’s laughter, or the sight of a rainbow, or the touch of a lover, or the smell of freshly cut grass. But I could definitely go without tasting green beans again.
*squeezes Judy*
That’s why I went with taste, too. Never hear my girls laugh again? Never see their eyes sparkle? Just thinking about it almost makes me cry.
damn, it almost made me cry
Having suffered pretty severe hay fever throughout my life I could go without smelling cut grass again, even though the masochist in me still loves that smell. But never tasting ice cream again? Never tasting chocolate again? Never tasting a juicy steak again (blast – who’s the vegetarian again?? Sub in your favorite veggie for steak …)
No thanks, it would be smell for me. I think.
A new random question. Hmmm…I’m gonna go with taste. I won’t be tempted to eat ’till I drop!
That’s an easy one for me: smell. It’s already half way gone anyway. Stupid allergies!!!!
Hearing. I don’t need to hear to be able to cook. And I LOVE to cook.
The bonus is I wouldn’t be bothered by air shows anymore.
But – music! I would definitely not want to lose my hearing.
Food is music to me. Yeah, I like music, but I like food so much better.
If food be the music of love, cook on
Give me excess of it…
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!
*urp*
Woops…my appetite has sickened and died.
I am going to say touch. You can easily compensate for your loss of touch by your other senses. But to nerve tatse, smell, hear or see would be to lose a window into the wonderful world around us. I could go without touch.
Jules! The nerve!
*Squeeze*
Amen Sista!!!
OMG…right there with you!
I enjoy giving them more than receiving, the look on her face, her passionate moan and screams, the smell of her skin, the taste of her sweat. There are plenty of other sense to enjoy sex with.
Touch is kind of important though. Integral even.
Nobody move! I appear to have dropped my ‘d’.
*freezes*
Simon says go!
*goes*
Cleanup in aisle 5!
*freezes with one foot in air*
*tries to stay still*
*falls over*
Ouch! I think I found your ‘d’ Qwaz!
oh, here idt is…..
Ah! Thanks abstract.
*places d in appropriate place in above post*
I thank you all for your help.
(I’m just glad no one hopped on it.)
That would have been a Disaster.
*sneaks next to Qwaz’s post*
*Puts an “w” before “help”*
Bwahahahaa!
*dances*
*gives mawcrow a
*
You wouldn’t know when you started!!
Sight.
Nothing in this world that is alluring to our sight is ever good for us. The good looking co-worker. The chocolate, we eat with our eyes. Money, seeing others successes, brings out jealousy. I could do without sight I guess, I would have to tune up my other senses, but I believe it would be easier for me to find the one I am meant for without the visual masks of the fakes.
The idea of Daredevil also comes to mind, vision through sound.
idiocy knows no bounds
what the heck was he trying to do?
So Who Wants To Tell Me What I Missed?
I would, but I can’t see the video. The firewall at work is blocking it.
Too Bad I Can’t See It Also My Computers Crappy Its All Too Slow
I’m feeling fat and sassy!
YOU ALREADY SAID THAT YESTRDAY!
AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
My random thought for the day. Why do car dealerships think the only way to sell cars is to take familiar songs and change the words to fit their needs? I’m so sick of these annoying ear worms! Way worse than the most obnoxious day here!
Hey B! I Went There Today! I Needed The Car To Get A Oil Change! Luckly I Have A Friend That Works There.
)
That is a VERY long title TF …
♪ Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world
But with her new Saturn, she can drive aaaanyyyyywheeeeeeere… ♫
what a jerk!
I AIN’T NO JERK! >:(
Have you already forgotten the valuable lesson you learned yesterday?
NO I HAVEN’T!
Just checkin. Carry on then.
FINE
At least you’re using the reply button now.
But he really shouldn’t yell that much. Its giving me headache.
*starts looking for anti-troll spray*
1 step at a time. He’ll get there. Eventually. Possibly. Mabye?
Oh Are Getting Headache? Well Here Let Me PUT YOU OUT YOUR MIZARY!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!>:) )
I hate you…
*found antitroll-spray*
*sprays over The Failer*
Good riddance!
*points to “Please Don’t Feed the Trolls” sign*
There’s cake in the break room…what say we go get some?
Yay! Cake!
*dances*
*gets a slice of cake from breakroom*
*squeezes everybody before going home for the evening*
See you tomorrow everyone!
G’night, Lurk!
IM ALIVE! NOW TTIME TO GET BACK AT HIM
Should we throw The Failer into a deep fissure?
Absolutely.
Ok, I need to ease my way back into FB. Don’t want to sprain anyting. ‘night all!
‘Night, sweets.
*hugs*
BLUE2THFAIRY CHESTERS ISN’T DEAD!
“5 dollar for anyting you want”
*squeezes B2F*
G’night. I promise not to switch your fuzzy slippers for angry ferrets while you’re sleeping.
*angelic face*
NO, I’LL DO IT NOT YOU
PLEASE STOP YELLING AT ME YOU’RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!
My caps off to you Lurk.
I DONT GIVE A CRAP IF IT GIVES YOU A HEADACHE! IM THE ONE WHOS TYPING NOT YOU!
Is it just me, or has half your post disappeared of the side of the comment box?
Little bitty print does that. Dunno why.
ohai lurk
if I may delurk for a moment. Your sentence ran off the end of the box after the word regulars – can you recap? I would really like to know what is in store for the Failure.
Kthxbai
No problem. Here it is in non-little print (but not in all caps):
Typing in all caps is very rude. If you continue to do so, more than likely the regulars will consider you a troll and will stop responding to you, if they don’t become downright hostile. If that’s what you want, then disregard my warning. The choice is yours.
Woops. Sowwy!
/lack of refresh
*squeeze*
Great minds, Dragon.
Lurk, you actually gave me an idea earlier for future troll punishments.
Sealed in a Zorb, with ten angry ferrets and pushed down the side of the biggest hill to be found.
*rubs hands in glee*
Ooh, I like it!
Can we start with this one? V
By all means. Might I suggest a series of hills in San Francisco?
Except for the ferrets, that sounds really fun…
But I guess that’s the punishment part.
But — what did the ferrets do wrong??? let’s substitue 10 angry Trolls and let them punish themselves!!
Trolls in a zorb together? I think they might enjoy that too much. How about city rats instead? They’re roughly the size of house cats. And vicious.
Is that really a bad thing Qwaz? Consider that it’s rolling AWAY.
Any fearless regulars willing to squeeze them the whole time they go down? It’s a dangerous mission.
We will not be sacrificing any regulars. But we should think about making sure that one each type of troll is in each zorb. And there should be as many zorbs as needed. Maybe there should be an alligator pit at the bottom of the hill.
It was just a thought but now that seems terrible…
And If they survive the alligator pit we set up a Bridge of Death.
I know, I know!!! We can put them in an icecream ball and if a new troll should come along we will feed this icecream and give them Mad Troll Disease.
*Headache is interfering with spelling – it looks like ‘I-sis-er-eem’*
*reads thread*
*snorks*
…*but wasn’t snorking at Jenny’s headache, which wasn’t there when I posted*
Jenny, If we do that, we are the ones that will suffer! Infecting new trolls with the old ones? *shudders*
Fine Than But I Should Tell You WHEN I TYPE LIKE THIS This Means Im Talking in a deep voice BUT WHEN I TYPE LIKE THIS! That Means IM ANGRY! AND YELLING! AND IN BLINDING RAGE! YOU GET THAT! AND I AM NOT A TROLL! NO. IM A FAILER!
You misspelled “asshat”.
*chokesnork!*
” Typing in all caps is very rude. If you continue to do so, more than likely the regulars will consider you a troll and will stop responding to you, if they don’t become downright hostile. If that’s what you want, then disregard my warning. The choice is yours.”
/cut and paste
The “pre” tag indicates that the text is preformatted, so the user of said tag is responsible for line breaks.
It’s just a quirk of Failblog that the “pre” tag makes the text appear tiny…that’s atypical.
…As are we!
*SMOOOOCH!*
*SMOOOOCH!*
*tips cap to Admiral*
Thank you for enlightening me to that quirk, Admiral. I’ll make sure I take that into account in the future.
*squeeze*
I SAID I DON’T CARE!
Troll.
*holds up “Do Not Feed The Trolls” sign for self to see*
*williboi delurks again*
Ohai Lurk. Did you hear something?
Nice sign – so you guys don’t let them eat cake?
The sign is to remind us not to “feed” them by responding to them. We have cake in the breakroom up there. ^^ Let’s go have some.
punk should pay for that…its vandalism.
did the escalator die?
Jump Win.
This is a win!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAARRRGGGHhhhhh… I click on REPLY — but it just sends me to the end!!!! Oh the frustration — I wanted to post that I was envisioning Leila with her big unibrow shaped into a giant tilde over her eyes… and oh I have no idea what else — but they would all be non-sensical down here all alone and un-linked (oh yea — the no orgasim thing, would be just like still being married to my ex)…
Anyway — time to stop eating cake and catch my train… A client brought me this delish strawberry mousse, jelly roll, sugar covered fruit cake thingy. I took a look at it and just grabbed a fork and started eating!! YUM… time to take the rest home I guess. See y’all later!
See you later, E-M!
*sneaks bite of jelly roll sugar covered cake thingy first*
Hey — I’m back!!! Fast train!!!
Eeep!
*hides cake-covered fingers behind back*
Umm…hi!
*snaps some cake pieces behind Dragon*
I reeeally should stop sitting in front of computer now, it is 2.50 AM here…
tee hee — have some more!! It is VERY good.
Made by Nuns (the ones that escaped the chuckin up above) … delicatge yellow cake rolled up with raspberry jam, sliced with a layer on the bottom and a layer around trhe sides. The middle filled with nummy strawberry mousee and topped with sugar covered strawberries, black berries, apricots, peaches, blueberries and dark chocolate curls…
Sigh — delish!!
I drooled so hard it hurt.
I am just glad DW spared some Nuns …
and not just any Nuns — but French baking nuns!!
I also didn’t chuck those Trappestine nuns that make the absolutely incredible caramel…mmmmmmmmmmmm.
Yellow as in Asian?
Missed it by that much.
Now that’s my line!
*snork!*
more like vandalism win!
So, guy does a sweet trick by unconventional means and shatters glass in the process without getting hurt. WIN.
WOW, that last fail brought about the worst of people. Just like “The Word of Christ” did in PK.
So many bigots and a$$hats
But it’s nice to see you here, Emp!
Always nice to see you as well Judy.
I so want a shirt that says “Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.”
Elsa_Mama you’re too funny!
I must admit that I stole it from a list of 20 puns … posted on the Cheez friends Yahoo group
There is nothing better than a pun that sums up all my religious paranoia.
To avoid paranoia I just reject all religions.
FIRST
Here’s my off topic question for today: Is there a color that starts with ‘W’? (Includes all of the fruity, generic names for colors. i.e: Honey Mist Auburn)
Well, white isn’t exactly a color. Wisteria?
That’s a color? Sounds like a mental illness.
It’s actually a flower. A pale purple flower. It grows on a woody vine – like plant. Smells heavenly.
Is this a trick question?? White ….
* Walnut
* Watermelon
* Wellington
* Wheat
* White
* White smoke
* Wine
* Wisteria
* Water blue
* Warbler green
* Winter White
* Winsor Green (blue shade)
* Warm Sepia
* Wheel of ferrets
????Wheel of Ferrets????
(Who’s the host of that one?)
Ferrets Wheeler
What color would that be??
Maybe a beige-ish shade…
I’d think something along a brownish hue.
Or maybe something Buellish, on an off-color day.
The colo(u)r you get from mixing Ferris Bueller with a ferret.
… on a Ferris wheel.
What the hell!? Did anyone else’s FB Screw up big time?
Alright it’s back. It was almost like the whole website was a page source but without telling you how someone did something.
Don’t worry. It’s just the Chinese being racist and making computers hard to understand, Qwaz.
(They probably are going through some server issues. On my side, no avatars will show up.)
Rakim must have had a word with them.
I miss my Marvin…
Clear your cache and restart your browser, Qwaz.
I thinky I fixed it.
Ahh. That’s a bit better but the avatars are still gone, which I can deal with as long as no one makes a name change joke.
So, Business as usual. How is everybody?
Interesting…
Good one. I will strand whoever you are in a wasteland for a while when I figure out who it is.
Here’s a clue. An animal of some sort with sunglasses.
I changed my mind. Hammy’s too nice
By the way… You changed your avatar yet again, Captain?
True. It was for my reply with Emp. But it wasn’t me who did the name change thing.
So I see. Being blind for a bit was fun and all, but it’s not the sense I would like to lose. I’d have to go with everyone else and lose smell. I could become a dumpster diving hero!
It was Captain Obvious.
Hey! I can still see the avatars and names clearly! Don’t confuse Qwaz!
Something’s wrong. I better get to the bottom of this!
*Brings out a Sherlock Holmes outfit that he has been saving for a time like this.*
Where is my pipe?
Just think some people might appreciate this.
A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,
“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The woman below replied,
“You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.
“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”
The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”
*Sideways dog-face*
Yes, I liked that one.
Oh God! I’m glad I missed the troll punishments up there!
The poor troll didn’t know what had hit him. I tried to give him a chance, but it seems he was only interested in causing chaos, so I left him to his rather unpleasant fate.
Well, I’m going to stay low so no regulars target me.
Standing by…
Smart move. Everybody seems to have been a bit wound-up of late. I’m trying really hard not to do anything that could be considered troll-ish (espcially after my impersonation escapade).
^e
Heh, heh, yeah…about that…
It wasn’t a very bright idea (Though I must have thought it was at the time). I thought that if we ever had another Sam or Tinklenator, then we could confuse the hell out of them by impersonating them (and mabye even drive them off). However, my execution of testing it was so poor that I deserved to be growled at by the regulars.
So do you guys consider samr to be a troll or something?
(Or is it a different Sam?)
No, samr is fine I think. The particular Sam I am referring to was a very persistent and annoying troll. His favourite lines were “first” and “Get an avatar”. I think he was banned though.
On another note, I can see that your intentions, and it may have made a good experiment. Fuzz did a similar one way early on. I also though about doing one, to reproduce Fuzz’s results, but I thought it would be better to get on the better side of the regulars before I go back and piss them off.
Oh… you know what I meant. I’m not going to fix it.
But will they?
Not unless they are major grammar-trolls.
*Sigh* I’ve got to get some work done, or I’m going to lose my job. Later Captain O.
‘Kay. *squeezes IS*
It’s a- you…. Link?
Hey may have changed his name, but he’s the Samus always.
As long as he didn’t Zelda camera, It’s gonna be great!
Just Peachy.
Is anyone else seeing those ads to make your body look less Kirby?
All I see is a Foxy lady with McClouds all over her shirt.
Careful. the ground is pretty Slippy.
*Slides around on floor*
Wiiiiiiiiiiii!
Don’t Makar floor dirty!
But all of these squeaks could make a beautiful Medli!
Saria bout yelling at you.
Wish I knew more puns with this theme – I could help you make a Biggoron of them.
Surely you can find at least 64 in that brain of yours?
No. Get up and Ingo get the groceries.
We’re taking it up a notch huh?
That makes me all Tingle y inside.
I’ve gotta get on a train. Chuchu!
(Not really)
*Whew* I thought you just dropped a bombchu on our run.
Leever alone or she’ll miss her train!
My head is getting pretty Zora from tinking of all these puns.
Keep thinking of stuff… I gotta Rupee.
The Majora(ty) of aspirins can Mask that ache.
Stop Stalfosing! I gotta get on “LE TRAIN”
Pfft. Trains. You can use my Ganon!
Fyer away!
Yowch. My armos sore from pushing around this Ganon.
Eeno, this is alot of work.
This Beamos keeps stinging me!
Gah! We’d better Spark this Rope!
Fun Fact: Mido once said: SUCK MY KOKIRI!!!!!!!!!!
Hate to end the run at this time, but really? That’s hysterical.
No, but if the Teletubbies head that, Poe’s sisters would be offended.
Well at least he didn’t say deku stick.
I feel kind of trapped (gorons) because to know it, i’d have to hear it, but to hear it I have to know it!
Of course, Even then he could have shouted out “Keese my ass!”
Can I Keese it for Freezard?
Where?
It was a good jump, but glass failed us once again.
wtf, that was bs. furthermore, I can’t believe there’s over seven hundred people thinking their comments will actually be read.
tl;dr
how very droll. You wagtails wouldn’t know humour if it struck you in the bullocks. I would recommend you cease all pointless comments that enrich neither the post nor civilization.
That’s some big talk for a video game playing gecko.
Tell me, How many hours did it take you to look up all those words, figure out how to turn on the computer, and put them in a post?
“Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”
hes actualy pretty good with a unicycle. anyone else would of done a faceplant and broken their nose
Just the name Unicycle Jump brings in the word fail.
Arrgh!
I post this down here out of knowing there will be another pun eventually: Alice, you have defeated me. I’m out of Zelda Puns.
*Reluctantly hands Master Quest Crown to Alice*
*Bows out and takes leave for tonight*
‘Night to all who pass by tonight!
‘Night x 5 to Qwaz and all. Traveling for the next 5 days.
Aww! We’ll miss you!
*gives Qwaz a goodnight squeeze and Jenny a “safe-travels” hug*
That one blocked the rear entrance.
That looks painful.
In France, when a jump fails, the body doesn’t break, but the furniture, yes…
the costs of unicycling keep escalating
AHH! This disappointed me greatly.
I wanted him hurt.
Me too.
idjit
Yeah, POST that on the internet! Post it so that the owners of the property can find/identify/sue you for damages!
u now theat u cant jump on a unosikel, its sintifikle peovin
did he freaking die?
*sniff*
still not loading?
the escalator is actually the one failing…
EPIC WIN …he didnt even fall
yes he did…
Not realy a junp fail, he made it. More of a glass/weight fail.
i think thats a unicycle win?
sintifikle peovin
I seems to me that this occurs at La Défense, close to Paris. Does any else french man can confirm ?
Oui c’est ça ^^
at least, he is unharmed
Win
that’s a definite uni-win
A public property destruction win!
Right, cept we all pay for public property. Whee.
he survived
editor choice fail
I confirm it’s “La Defense” – Paris
Haha, didn’t expect that ending. I thought he would fall on his face or something like in all those other videos.
LAST!
Damn, not only did half his bike fall off, he broke the escalator…
Idiot… get a bike ^^
At least he failed in a completely different way than I expected.
Run !!
Well at least he didnt fall off the unicycle, like most of the videos that involve skateboards, tricicles, go karts, quadbikes, bicycles, scooters, horses, the backs of asian people and giant robot koalas.
go for it!