Election Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
I can has recount?
You can has cheesburger
no he can’ts, i has eat it
ah, so that explains the fact that you are wider than you are taller.
(“)^o_o^(“) <—this is a kitteh
=^(")(")^= <—awww, you has scared a kitteh.
Sign, sign, don’t pass.
I tried to think of a witty reply, but failed as I didn’t get the humour in the original comment. Sorry, fluffy!
*Squeeze*
*rolls one with a petition page*
oops….were you needing that?
Shouldn’t politicians have a bigger perception bureaucracy pool than that?
Witty Reply Fail?
wanna see a gay dinosaur call a porn shop?
Why are immigrants mocked for poor english when, obviously, few FAIL patrons even know what proper english looks like?
Don’you mean “Can I have a recount?” or are you seriously that much ao an ignoramus?
electile dysfunction
He forgot one impotent name.
Now he’s hanging his head in shame.
What a c0ck-up!
He can never rise to the top now.
His poll fell quickly…
What a b0ne(r)-head…
Just like an inCUMbant to not be able to C al is done correctly.
His incumbency thingy has become recumbent.
LOL…
Awww, somebody’s feeling left out…
*randomly squeezes someone in Springer, New Mexico*
squeezes trollmeister in the poll…
*puts up curtains*
Nothing here to see folks…moo-ve along…
Agreed!
It’s the internet hierarchy. Failblog comments are one step of intelligence below Youtube comments, and one step above random, numbers and letters free of all punctuation other than the exclamation mark.
I am working on a comprehensive restraining order against all failblog squeezers. May you all burn in hell.
Your opinion has been noted and filed.
*hands Avis the circular file*
Comma fail. You’re right, though.
Changing your name does not change your avatar.
Oh Avis, you misspelled “dumbass”.
*tears up restraining order*
*squeeeeeezes Welsh Wiggie*
*boops nose*
*skips away giggling*
mmmm, colon cleaning time!
lol
NO U.
“‘Tis but my lame-brain-that-forgot-my-name that is my enemy.”
FIRST
FAIL
BLOG
.ORG
*falls of bike, gets struck by lightning*
*complains in comment section (in caps)*
*complains about complainers*
*Video actually plays (finally)*
*slow-motion repeat of FAIL, preceded by the word “WIN!”*
*complains about too many ‘wins’ in the fail videos*
*complains that speech during slow-motion video is hard to understand*
*wants to tell Brewski that’s just surfer speak but doesn’t*
*surprised that Thom Yorke knows surfer-speak*
*waves anti-WTO sign*
Hey, if Barbara Billingsley can speak jive, anything’s possible.
*to Starfish* What’s WTO stand for?
Wants Trolls Out?
Was Typing Own name, honest!
Weird Tasting Orifice?
World Trade Organization?
When Tubers Oblige, it’s a new soap opera starring the cast of CHIPS.
yeah!!! the sloth of doom has returned!!!!!
Sloth’s avatar is probably my fave. I smirk every time I see it.
*squeeze!*
*notices Moomin avatar and reconsiders*
It’s a close race, folks! We’re down to the wire! And…
It’s the Moomin by a nose!
!magine that – a sloth in a close race!
*squeeze Brewski* !!!
*complains about the complainers complaining about the complainers*
You want to complain?! Look at these shoes. I’ve only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through!
But I came here for an argument!
Sorry, this is abuse. Arguments are next door.
“OWWWWW”, “now hold your head like this and say “WHAAAA”
*powers the Fail*
(Hey, somebody has to!)
*Complains about the complainers who complain about complainers complaining about complains made by complainers who complain about complains being complained about…*
*Scolds and directs to where complaints should be directed to*
*all complaints should be directed to the complaint dept in writing with copies directed to the director of the complaint dept in triplicate copying the VP of complaints explaining why the director of complaints could not resolve the complaint that the complaint dept directed to the director*
Oh dear, I just realised that .ORG comes after the lightning. Ah well.
RULES
Huh?!?!?!?!?!?!?
what a dump
I’d change your name before Arthur evicerates you.
Pfft. He’s merely a C-dolf, not worth the effort.
Darn, and I wanted to try out my new handy-dandy evisceration kit. See how they ergonomically designed the disembowelment tool? It helps prevent carpal-tunnel syndrome during heavily troll-infested spells. It also comes with a free 1-month supply of ShamWows for cleanup.
One-month supply? I thought a ShamWow lasted 20 years. You’re only giving away 1/240 of a ShamWow!
At least it’s not a SlapChop…
Disembowelment with a SlapChop…I don’t think you can gut that one out.
No, but you’ll love his nuts…
Morning, Skratdaddy!
*squeeze*
Mornin’ Ms Q!
*monday squeezies*
Ironically, look at the cake near the top of your clickie.
Funny…I never looked at a SlapChop that way…
(also didn’t realize the cake on the clickie was sooo sexy…
)
Chop, chop!
And I thought it was Little Richard!
I thought it looked like Eriq LaSalle from Coming to America…you know, Soul Glo?
^clickie
*rofl*
The “You remind me of the Babe” cake is just a touch…. creepy.
I thought “Babe” was a talking pig!
What a compliment.
Just because, *squeezes Brewski and abstract*
*squeeze!*
nah, I want it for my next birthday!!
Find a better cake artist!! And don’t put candles on his pants.
Easier to not put pants on him at all. That leaves you more room for at least one candle.
“At least”?
Well, I was thinking that if you leave the pants off, why not just 1 well-placed candle? Hey, it’s your birthday only once a year, so why not go “all out”, so to speak.
♪ Come on, Baby, light my fire… ♪
Hmmm… David Bowie as the Goblin King with no pants on. Yes, that’s the cake I want for my next birthday. Skip the candles, though.
Yes, give a good blowj0b to that candle, and you’ll get your wish!
Lurk! Besides, it doesn’t take much to !magine the Goblin King without pants, they’re already so tight.
lol, yeah, not in his pants…”liar, liar pants on fire….litteraly” lol!
Is this really for a five year old???ha ha
I`m sure he`ll get more than 335 fails, great start to the week, well done Michfail!
TOTAL WAR
cool.
Sign here please.
What’s this?
Um, your own petition…
*pass, pass*
Wait, wha?
Yes.
*grabs petition from Ms B*
*reads*
What’s this? Petition to ban the wearing of clothing on Failblog? Tsk tsk.
*squeeze!*
Did anyone notice this petition has a little smiley face at the bottom?
*innocent look*
And what is wrong with that, exactly?
*squeeze*
Not one thing. *squeeze* smiley faces are nice.
how’s everyone?
Where is it?!?! I’ll sign…
Don’t have any clothes on anyway…just buttery goodness…
Hey now!
It’s finger licking finger poppin’ time.
(clickie for the tune — be prepared for some buttery boogeying)
DON’T READ IT, SIGN IT!
did he died?
Will you shut up?
*SHOOP DA WOOP*
Wow, My first ever comment and early fail.
HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!
(Sorry, thought the world needed more SF2 quotes, I may be wrong)
NEWCOMER: Someone New
*Mario looks on in awe*
he did deid?
*A WILD LAME-TREND-FOLLOWER APPEARS*
Please shut up
died did he?
Is there an echo is here??
is here??
Ok… IN here…
It’s Monday and I’m already stressed…
I herd that.
I’d prefer to mooo-ve to the end of the week.
That would require bovine intervention.
Maximum big surprise?
I trust I can rely on your vote.
did he OBAMAed?
Nope, here’s the difference, he won’t be in the election. Glad I could clear that up for you.
He looks like Abbruzzi from Prison Break. The Devil from Constantine. Don’t know the actors name atm.
To make it even more of a fail, he lives in Syracuse, NY.
(Before anyone scolds me, I’m originally from Buffalo, NY, so I get to make fun of Syracuse.)
moar liek, Jeer-accuse, amirite?
Syracuse is Shangri-La compared to Binghamton. Urgh.
Well Binghamton is Lah-di-frickin-dah compared to living in a van down by the river.
You have a river? Damn, I never should have parked up on this hill.
You have a van?
*tries to trade box in for van*
hey!! I have family there! In both of the places you mentioned, I am from Saratoga personally! nice to meet a fellow New Yorker.
Hey, alright! East Side of Buffalo, then Depew, to be exact.
So what’s it like to shovel 2 feet of snow 200 days a year?
Not quite that bad. The really heavy snow is usually in the hills south of the city. Still, a few years ago when I went back to visit my parents for the holidays we got 75 inches in four days. That’s unreal, my friends.
Chicago would shut down.
Basically it did. I think the only vehicles allowed on the road were emergency vehicles and pizza-and-chicken-wing delivery guys.
I see, just the bare necessities.
‘Nother NY’er here … currently in Saratoga, worked in Syracuse for a school year, grew up in Oswego ….
Nothing beats a good lake effect snow!
Have you ever been at Loughberry lake (Saratoga Springs, NY) at the end of the winter? The ice thaws and re-freezes, etc. and it makes the weirderst noises. It actually sounds like laser tag guns! P.S. say “hi” to my Grandmom while you’re there.
this IS the truth! lol
oh, it sucks. the snow banks are 5 to 7 feet high…. and not just in the mall parking lot!
The four seasons in Buffalo, NY are:
Almost winter.
Winter.
Still Winter.
Road construction.
And yet bowling leagues are never canceled.
lowl !
lol!!! *knee slapper*
At least he acknowledged is fail
He is, therefore he fails.
Don’t put Descartes before De horse.
What a dumbass.
Amnesia. Yes, I claim amnesia. I didn’t remember my own name, that’s why I forgot!
Who are you?
*cries*
I don’t know! And I lost my mommy!
You lost your mommy? I lost my HOUSE!
*weeps*
Awww, please stop crying! Here, sign my petition and you’ll feel better.
I have amnesia and deja-vu –
I’m pretty sure I have forgotten this before.
My memory is excellent. It’s just short.
I lost my dog.
Did I even have a dog?
I just can’t remember.
Why is there a car crashed into a pole?
Is that my car?
Why am I bruised up?
Cheer up. Just sign here. You’ll save a bunch of money by switching to Geico. (It is really the petition)
How am I? And who did I get here?
*scribble scribble*
*mutter* and why is there sand in….nevermind..
he was a pinko anyways
Is it just me or does he share a slight resemblance with Homer J. Simpson?
He looks kinda Haggard-y … as in gaunt, wasted, or exhausted in appearance from prolonged suffering, exertion, or anxiety-y.
*ROFFLE* You’re right!
you spelled ROFL wrong.
YOU FAIL LOL
You spelled LOL backwards.
Mama,
How many times have I asked you not to bug my faliblog friends. Also, can you make me a sandwich? PBJ please, and cut off the crusts too.
Yeah, it’s you who resembles Homer Simpson.
I agree as well.
Try him in this picture (clickie).
(Quite a fall from “Person of Achievement”)
You don’t consider a fail of that magnitude an achievement?
True – I should not consider achievement as either positive or negative.
You have learned much while you were in the Orient, oh wise
guyone.Exactly, one signature kept him from even being eligible for a fail or win. Total WIN
He looks like Ron Silver…clickie
epic
Always make sure you sign stuff that you need to sign….Or else you make yourself look like an idiot.
Yessss, dadddddd….
And always listen to your elders.
except the guy in the fail picture.
Hahahah ! dumb f*ck !
Although i’m not surprised he would do something like that, by the look on/of his face !
P.S. check my blog
Has anyone here seen weeds season 2? :p
In one of the greatest Failblog ironies of all time, one of the names on the petition was thrown out when it was discovered that Duroc had signed it twice.
*snorkroffle*
HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
.
Wait.
*expression of panic*
Where is Duroc?!!?! Call the search-and-rescue team!
The funding never got approved for the search-and-rescue team. Remember? – You sponsored the legislation to fund it and then it lost by one vote because you didn’t vote on it.
Fine! I’ll just use my leftover campaign funds.
.
*punches security code into cash machine*
“Insufficient funds”?! WTF does that mean??
I’ll get the baseball bat.
I’ll bring my mitt!
I’ll bring the (Mc)Cain!
I’ll bring a political lolbyist!
just use baconlube
HAW~! I always knew Syracuse was a bunch of morons! *glad to live in the country* ಠ_ಠ
I’m from Syracuse myself. This goes a long way toward explaining how our local government operates.
“Don’t worry, be happy….” this is an example of st00pidity, but hey, I am from germany and the german federal secretary of health’s official car had been stolen in Spain some weeks ago…. and that caused lots of trouble in Germany ’cause she head spent her vacation there.
btw.. congrats to the car thieves…. stealing an enxpensive armoured Mercedes is just EPIC….
I’m from Syracuse and am finding this pretty funny. Syracuse is not a bunch of morons, but City Hall has its share of the ones we do have.
Yeah, remember, this is the same special city where only a couple months ago, people were so intelligent as to DRIVE AWAY while the back doors of their armored truck was open, causing over $300,000 to fall out? Dang, if THAT hasn’t made Failblog yet, I should submit it!
From the “Real-Life-Imitating-Failblog” files:
I was driving in my neighborhood and saw a sign on a telephone pole. A homeowner was missing a cat, and two words were prominently written in big print on the sign: “MISSING PICKLES”.
Obviously, I couldn’t help but think “Where’s the Pickles? That’s the surprise!!”
BTW, if you find Pickles, let me know. My neighbor will be very relieved.
The other day I saw a bunch of hitchhikers next to a “No Hitchhiking Sign” near an entrance to I-90.
*moves right quotation marks to left side of “sign.”
Gah, I wish you could edit a post.
*places second asterisk to the right of above phrase*
OCD…….taking….hold….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
*pat pat*
There, there. You’ll get used to it.
Are you sure that’s the right number of ellipsis?
It’s a hyperbole.
Oh man, wouldn’t you hate to be an OCD anole?
Quit that! It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie…if you know what I mean…
*hopes J didn’t hear MRN’s comment*
*Realizes what our avatars will look like if I continue the conversation with Ms B*
*Points browser towards Gravatar*
BJ’s Wholesale? The one next door to Dick’s sporting goods?
Across the street from Pat’s Tire and Lube?
There! My avatar will now be a random thing that starts with the letter J. First up…Japan
Ok, if you want to get technical it starts with に as in にほん.
Thats A Sock Not The Letter j,j YOU FAILED
Fall of Syracuse re-enacted.
Or, wait for it, FAIL of Syracuse!!!
Ah ah ah ah ah.
Hahaha
Ho hum
You only think we guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! We switched geographical references when your back was turned! Ha ha! Never go in against a Sicilian Syracusan when politics are on the dotted line! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hahaha … ho hum, I’m dead.
If he’s that much of an idiot, it’s a good thing he didn’t get re-elected.
Sorry for the update, but he’s running on a minor party anyway, and may still get elected, since apparently there is no Democratic candidate. (Hmmmm… wonder if this was planned all along?)
Stupid butterfly ballots.
So stupid that even a Democrat can do it. Oh wait…maybe not.
He failed to elect. Maybe his pen ran out of ink. LOL
..Oh, and hey, I’m new to FailBlog. How do I get an account??
Look in the phone book, there are lots of reputable ones. They should have a CPA. Or, you can ask at your bank for a reference.
Oh, sorry, I thought you said ‘accountant’.
Sometimes 20 people answer this, and sometimes no one:
By ‘account’, I’m guessing you want an avatar? There is no account necessary otherwise. Get an avatar at gravatar.com. Use the same email address you use here when you post.
Speaking of accounts, do you get any goodies or benefits by registering here? I never have.
I never registered. Maybe you get updates?
I got a toaster!
Really?!? All I got was a lousy tote bag…
I got a rock.
Thanks! Yeah, I pretty much just need an avatar. I’ll check out that website! Is the rest of the process explained at that website??
There! I used gravatar! Can you see my avatar??
.. and thank you again, for telling me how to get an avatar!
Hmm… it.. didn’t work?? Did I do something wrong?? =(
Oh, wait. I refreshed the page. I see it now ! =)
Thanks For The Information MRN I Can Always Count On You. I’ll Owe You One.
I’m feeling fat and sassy!
*Gets out Trumpet* Waah waah waaaaaaaah.
hooray, i love my hometown! (or not)
^this
Since he’s a worthless sack of Democrap, he should’ve just found another dead person to sign.
I hope this america hating commie prick kills himself.
do you really want this guy to be a part of ur government if he cant even remember to sign his own petition?
No. And I vote “anything but the Evangelical maniacs formerly known as Republican” party.
Of course the REAL fail here is that he was trying to get on the Democrat ticket!
Haha! Only 1 signature short. Now that was a good fail.
That’s my councilman. Nicely done Mike lol
I’m from Syracuse…and I’ve been trying to make the front page for so long! I heard about this but didn’t even think to submit it…I fail
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a d-bag.
*signs petition*
Ya happy! Next time, plan ahead.
This is what happens when politicians expect the seats to fall on their laps.
Someday they won’t even run, just get auto reelected (mmm…that political system sounds to something disturbing strangely familiar).
Oops, I forgot!
Well, at least in Canada, if you sign your own petition it doesn’t count. The person who starts the petition can’t sign it. So if it were in Canada, it wouldn’t matter. Although it’s a minimum of 25 valid signatures for a petition to be accepted here…
The Syracuse Post standard is about as close as you can get to “The Examiner” or “The World Weekly News”. It’s always full of Fail.
Of course, he’s a Democrat
Congratulations Michael Heagerty! Your name is now synonymous to FAIL!!! XD
DEMOCRAT= FAIL
Figures. He’s a G-D moron. They all are morons down there in Syracuse, pretty much. I avoid that city as much as I can.
See, just goes to show how f$@king stupid democrats are. Their heads are too far up their own @$$holes to work out what is really going on. This is not ‘Election FAIL’, it’s ‘Republican WIN’.
More like Republicants!
Amirite?
-ZTM
This guy is a total idiot for admitting this, no-one is going to vote him for anything after this display of competence.
I lived in upstate NY and wjustorked in Syracuse. This sounds just like the Yankee bravado I put up with.
this makes loldog sad because he lives in syracuse
Another cuse resident here. I wondered how long it would take us to grace this site. Case closed.
Maybe he would’ve got enough signatures if they weren’t all stuck in traffic on 81 downtown.
Hey, isn’t that Peter Stormare?
one time someone was running for governor or mayor and lost the election by one vote because he didnt vote
To bad I live in Syracuse lmao
doesn’t deserve to be on the ballot.