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Cheezburger Company Blog
lol?
Not for the house owner(s).
i think she died!
Before or after she she had this driving fail
Death to the pigs!
death to ass-burgers
A woman?
♫ She’s a lady…
♫ Whoa whoa whoaaa…♫
♪Talkin’ about a little lady♪
“It’s the little old lady from Pasadena “
awesome reference
Not nice, we prefer the term ‘Ass pies’.
Oh, shut up.
death to yo and shoe diappers
did she die?
Sadly, yes.
of Ass-burger’s Syndrome
Don’t go there.
yes, that parking spot is taken.
rainman flipped ass-burgers
So you have shoe diapper deseasse…
She should be a good demolition racer…
Looks like how I might park…
Was the garage too narrow for the car, so the driver thought it would fit better with the car flipped on its side?
He just always wanted a side car.
Thought it would look cool to climb out of the top rather than out the side door.
I see you parked.
In an ass-burger!!
Grow up.
I see you in shoe diapper… they look good on you…. it almost makes you seem not that dumb…
Looks like how I might leave my Monopoly token in the Free Parking square.
Park place is mine! $1500 please!
lolwut?
you state/ask “lolwut?”
The response/answer is “roflassburger.”
and my final argument to you is shoe diapper sucker
the car — rolling on its side laughing
OMG YOU GOT FIRST
OMG, you are an…
ass…
burger!
Ass-Burger…the great Shrek said it best:
“Two words, okay? SHUT…..UP!!!”
so that makes you a shoe diapper…. ass!!! yeah!
I’d like to see him parallel park next.
I’d like to see your ass-burger
dude quit with the ass burger.. what are you 4 years old?
no he’s just obviously autistic and has serious problems coping with social situations. He may in fact be considered a genius by some although I would still classify him as plain old retarded.
you mean the former without the latter
guess i’ll puke if i see your shoe diapper…. hope it never happends
He was perpendicular parking this time.
the people in that one tank did it better though…
But was he diagonally parked in a parallel Universe?
Driving + several shots of Tequila = this fail.
stupidly long name+ass+burger=Ass-burger-burger-burger-pepsi
Does that come with a combo meal or something? And his name is short compared to Senior Emperor Khan Mr. Dr. Professer Alexander Maximillion Yuzititznokov-VanDeermiersonian IV, Head of the Department of Cures for Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, Esquire, ABC World News, 377th Division, 26th Regiment, Gold Squadron (Communications), “He who crawls with snakes dipped into the river Styx”, master of the Order of Bartholomeu’s Court, servant to Lord Mallacaria, right-hand man to Al Calpwn, Phd.
*golf clap*
Well done. That was unexpected.
Here, here.
Where? Where?
There, there.
*points*
OW OW! (rubs eyes out after taking your finger out)
Stupid shoe diapper with an IQ below that of mayo
*staggers*
Whuh? I puht iht in the gahrahge. Thash noht goohd enuff?
Too many maitais, Lurk?
*slurs*
Noht thoo mahny. Jusht enuff.
*hangs on Brewski*
*sloppy smooch*
*checks watch*
Well, it is afternoon here on the US East coast, at least.
*shrugs*
*grabs Maitai, and then Lurk*
*smooch!*
Ahftehrnoohn?
*looks around, eyes wide*
I fohrgoht to go to behd!
*grins drunkenly*
Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.
But it’s okay if it’s not a friend?
*tosses CO the keys*
Wait, I’m not your friend?
*Looks down at keys, then at driveway full of cars, trying to figure out which one is his*
That depends. Are you drunk?
acquaintances don’t let acquaintances drive drunk…
No, but it is okay if it is your crazy uncle who just got out of jail.
The more you know…
This is why we shouldn’t invent aircars until we cure the world of ineptitude. Four directions is too much to handle for some, why add another pair?
Pairs of ass-burgers are omnidirectional
Shoe diappers are omnipresent and ready to rape you
Inept Side Story
.
♫ There’s a place for us,
Somewhere a place for us.
Peace and quiet and open aircars
Wait for us
In some sideways-garage. ♫
♫ That is good, that is good,
That is untapped good!
On our side, the worst of us is good! ♫
This is true!! I don’t know if I could do it, and I am a safe driver. I think I would need a brain like a dolphin that works well in 3-d. I’m not sure the average human has the spatial abilities required.
I second that, the last bit anyway. I think I could handle it though… I executed a turn in a small airplane when I was … not sure how old, but single digits anyway, my dad had his pilot’s license and talked me into taking the controls for a minute. Plus I’ve goofed around with simulators enough, even successfully landed a 747 on a couple occasions… on the runway too!
Who parked that house there? -.-
Senor Ass-burger parked it.
And Doctor shoe diapper rapped you
– I think someone was driving that house while it was drunk.
It sat on a car.
LOL !!! WTF?!
WTF is up with your humongous ass burger??
it’s all because you shit on your shoe diapper
Funny.
Brought the house down.
Brought the house down, with ass burgers
and who brought the shoe diappers? your mom i guess
And it now its curtains for the garage doors.
I wonder what they’ll do for an encore.
That may depend on whether they get a standing back upright ovation.
“Crap! The garage door closes!” *Vroooom*
ass….
…..burger
shoe…. yess!!! diapper, you guessed it right!!!
You are an Ass-burger
no im a Ratburger
Rat’s Ass-Burger
shoe diapper burger for you for enternity
that makes you a shoe diapper
Ass-burgers all
hail shoe diappers
Indeed, you have Ass-burgers Syndrome
did you already cured your shoe diapper dessease? you didn’t!
I love the smell of Ass-burgers in the morning.
You just completely murdered ‘Apocalypse Now’, and the punishment is death.
and shoe diappers love to rape weaks of thought like you
Smells like Ass-burger victory
Ron’ Mac Donald’s Approved
Clown’s ass burger
I knew a guy who did this when his dad had him out for a driving lesson. He had to finish the school lessons and had to meet the school car at the end of the driveway.
I knew a guy who was an ass burger.
Moar liek sped’ing to the shortbus, amirite?
ass-burger with pickles
Shoe diapper
shoe diappers with your blood
Never let a dumb guy who is drunk and having seizures drive a vehicle both you and the driver will regret it.
Never let an ass burger like you post on the Web.
Look who’s talking.
(at the risk of repeating myself)
*holds up “Do Not Feed The Trolls” sign for samr to see*
…. Never let a hypocrite like you post on the web.
Shoe diapper….
never let a shoe diapper like you be born at all
Also don’t let them choose where to park they could pick the wrong house or the wrong place to park.
In addition to my addition, How did that happened?
My guess is someone was working on the car in teh garage and committed a few major jacking/lifting “don’ts.”
Actually, it looks like a crash. The driver took out the railing on the steps (hitting those steps probably caused the car to flip), one smashed garage door is partly under the car, and there are bricks and mortar spread about. Looks like the brick facing above the garage may have been cracked, too.
.
So somebody either ran off the road, or desperately wanted to remodel the front of the house.
You seem to know an awful lot about this..
*eyes TMI suspiciously*
heh … *sideways glances*
He does seem awfully knowledgeable about this. *reaches for phone. dials 911*
*TMI Service is apparently going to need support — dials 411*
In France, they call ‘em Royales with Derrieres
Ass Burgers, that is.
Do they really do that (in a sarcastic tone)?
*holds up “Do Not Feed The Trolls” sign for Shadow to see*
*kiss*
Mornin’ Lurk – Nice sign!
Thanks. I got it from Wile E. Coyote. I wanted the sign that said, “
” but he wouldn’t give it to me.
Thnx for the sign and now I know not to feed the trolls.
Who or what am I allowed to feed then?
Anybody who is not a troll, including yourself.
*gives Shadow a cookie*
Thnx.
At first I read that as a command:
“Anybody who is not a troll, including yourself gives Shadow a cookie NOW!”
he he
*taps foot*
So what are you waiting for? Give Shadow a cookie!
*squeeze*
OK
*Puts giant box of duplex cookies on the table for everyone*
Have an Oreo on me!
Ok, but you asked for it.
*balances Oreo on Skrat’s head*
*eats Oreo*
Kinda like a belly shot?
Oh yea!
Okay, Shadow, here is your cookie.
Hands plate of cookies.
Thank you. *as I take the cookies*
These are delicious!
Dude, give me a cookie.
i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed a coooooooooooookie
Shoe diapper…
(.) (.)
u
‘
in this world shoe diappers like you are called morons
wtf is a shoe diapper, might i ask?
do you like… crap your foot or something?
Eh, good enough.
Good thing they turned on the hazard flashers.
bink-bink-bink-bink
*Good to see you and BFF*
amends:
and Fuzz and Gorgon
now you bein’ nicer!
{{{Jennyams}}}
*walks into room wearing a hazardously-long trenchcoat*
Did somebody offer to turn me on?
*’70s pr0n music plays in the background*
Why yes, as a matter of fact, I did.
*hazard-flashes Lurk and Jenny*
*runs away while laughing maniacally*
My eyes! My eyes! They like it, come back! I want more Brewscandi.
Me too! Me too! Come back!
*runs after Brewski*
*points and stares at Brewski*
Did she died after she crashed into someone’s house?
I got great news, I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico. And more great news she survived.
I wouldn`t call this a fail, the car IS parked, in a garage even.
I wonder how the driver got out, on top or on bottom.
Thats what she said.
and then ‘he’ woke up from the dream
*Talks to his girlfriend* “I had that dream again.”
*Talks to Shadow* “Dejavu?”
I had a dream about a dream about a dream.
♪Dream a little dream of me♫
*Talks to his girlfriend* “I had that dream again”
*Talks to Shadow* “Dejavu?”
In real life I do have dejavu, I see bits and small parts of the future in my dreams and then I forget them. But I remeber them after the event I saw happen. Once I caught myself in the middle of my part of the future that I saw. I have an annoying power of future sight.
That happens to me, too. The earliest one I can remember was from when I was six. I’ve dreamed about the last 6 places I’ve lived in.
Actually that was around thw age I first had a vision too.
The more I see them, my visions slightly increase in how much I see (but only slightly).
What is funny is that I had gained a seizure disorder around October of 2007. Do you think that has any connection with the increasing visions?
No, I don’t think so. Mine have increased slightly over the years, too. I think it would have more to do with your acceptance of them. My oldest daughter has started to have them. (she’s 10)
I wonder if this happens often in their neighborhood? I know in mine we have a stop sign that is in the middle of the road, right on an intersection, we literally have to get replaced every two weeks.
On the other hand, I bet this was a dare.
The thing is that I see the future of what I will see through my eyes when the event occurs. And I recently had one that I now had a hearing part that was added recently. Yes, now its hearing and seeing the future (through small parts).
Yeah, I get that, too. I view it as the universe’s way of telling me that my life is on track. Do you ever get the good/bad feeling with them? Like something good/bad is going to happen when the deja vu is over? I get those sometimes. I make sure to change something when it’s the bad feeling so the bad thing won’t happen.
The only funny part is that some have my reaction to events that happen in them too. I don’t have any feelings before the events happen. Normaly my future events are neutral (not good and not bad). There just plain random events.
Sometimes mine are like that. I went for almost a year without having one a few years ago, and it kind of freaked me out. There had never been that big a gap between them before.
Same here.
Did that happen when you gained your seizure disorder? Mine was because of a traumatic experience involving the break-up of my marriage. I started doubting my instincts, and it took me months before I trusted myself again.
I honestly don’t know.
You guys are gonna think I’m nuts, but this happens to me too. The nutty thing is, only with movies. I have dreamed the entire trailer to a movie years before it even went into production. I even knew who would act in it. The dreams were so vivid I though I had seen the trailer and was just remembering it. That is, until 5 years later when I actually see the trailer for a movie I knew about years before it was made.
Wow. I’ve never heard of that style of deja vu before. That’s pretty cool! Makes mine seem so… selfish.
I’m not completely convinced that I haven’t simply been driven insane by pop culture though. I might just be crazy. Actually, I’m fairly regularly on Failblog, so I almost certainly am insane.
What, just because you post on Failblog, that makes you… HOMOSEXUAL SPOTTED FERRETS ARE AFTER ME! CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD!!
*sprints downstairs to grab marshmallow gun*
*snork!*
(My kids have a marshmallow gun.
IThey like to shoot marshmallows at the cats.)My experiences with psychic-ness are like Jimbo’s, but mine usually happen with sequels. Non-beleivers just tell me I’m good at figuring out the plot, but I can see unpredicatble stufff in video game plots and movie plots months before they are actually released, and I can only do it in my dreams.
Suppose you’re thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly somebody will say, like, “plate” or “shrimp” or “plate of shrimp” out of the blue, no explanation- no point in looking for one either. It’s all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.
Whenever I foresee something or get Deja-Vu, I always see the entire thing before I do it. So from there I do the exact opposite of what I do in the foresight or déjà-vu, just to mess with our universe’s timeline.
How much like it? Was it the same cat?
Hello, Mr. Anderson.
*cricks neck*
My name… is Neo.
*multiples until surrounding area is full of Smiths*
Then ‘I’ shows up
CUT! Alright, who let this ‘I’ on the set? It ruined an almost perfectly good take!
Sorry Andy. I thought you wanted carbon copies – not twins!
What are you waiting for? You’re a better actor than this. Don’t think you are, know you are. Come on. Stop trying to act, and act!
There is no spoon.
*smacks Morpheuski with a spoon*
~Ping~
Huh? I guess there really is a spoon.
If all parked sideways, you could park 3 cars in that garage… That guy’s just ahead of his time.
Also – if you use a bulldozer to shove them in, you can park them in multiple rows and that will allow a lot more parking room.
*takes notes*
*squeeze*
HOuse HunGry!!
Nomnomnom
“I’ll have a car on the side.”
Who put yellow tape on my mouth?
We were…er…flossing your teeth.
Then why is it over my food (the car)?
You need to learn to chew more fully then.
I’m a house I can eat you too, so don’t tell me how to eat.
Well, if when flossing, the food chunks are the size of a car, that tells you something.
Good point and thank you for your help.
… and thank you for your support.
Missed it by that much.
“Honey! I’m hooooommmme”
Redrum! Redrum!
I hope that was their house!
Bye all, see ya on Mon.
*squeeze*
Bye, Skrat. Have a good weekend!
Heh, heh, it’s not so bad. Yeah, I thought it was going to be much worse than this. A little yellow tape will fix this in a jiffy! There. All better!
*eyes the yellow tape*
Oh, yeah, that fixed it!
Super glue can fix that!
GAH!!!
I’ve been without internets since last night, and it only just came back on! So I’m scrambling to post just in case it goes out again.
I missed you guys last night…on my way to a RL BBQ. Happy Saturday, failfriends!
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze*
*squeeze*
Happy Saturday to you, too. Have fun at your RL BBQ.
RL? Rabid Leprechauns?
*sings*
Bar-B-Q!
*bear hugs the stuffing out of Jenny*
Happy Saturday indeed DW! Have fun in meatworld today.
*squeeze*
ARE YOU TIRED OF TAPE THAT LET’S GO JUST WHEN YOU NEED IT MOST, OR HOW ABOUT WHEN IT GETS IN A HORRIBLE TANGLED MESS. *!magine someone dramitcally wrapped in tape* WELL NO MORE!
INTRODUCING THE NEW SUPER YELLOW TAPE. NEVER GET TANGLED AGAIN! AND IT IS SO STRONG – HOW STRONG YOU ASK – WELL IT IS STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD A CAR UP ON ITS SIDE.
*leans forward interestedly*
Ooh, tell me more!
Uh oh. I accidenty the tape.
Oh, that’s ok. A little tape will fix it right out.
*headdesk*
Up. A little tape will fix it right up. Not out.
*makes her best dork face*
*tapes up Lurk’s forehead where she headdesked*
There, that oughta stop the bleeding.
Then kew.
Blogs gettin a bit sluggish, isn’t it?
Dunno. I was away from my computer.
*squeeze*
Maybe the new fail will get things going.
*bear hug*
*gets louder*
IT’S SO STRING THAT YOU CAN USE IT TO REMOVE THOSE PESKY HANDRAILS. JUST TAPE IT HERE TO THE HOUSE – LIKE SO, AND THEN BAM! INSTANT HANDRAIL REMOVAL.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!
*reaches for wallet*
*pauses to listen further before deciding how much he’ll pay*
IF YOU ACT NOW WE WILL THROW IN A FREE DISPOSABLE GARAGE. THATS RIGHT DISPOSABLE. DO YOU HAVE OIL STAINS ON THE FLOOR? OR COBWEBS IN THE CORNER? WELL IT’S NO PROBLEM JUST CRUMPLE UP THE GARAGE AND TOSS IT AWAY. IT’S THAT EASY. CRUMPLE AND TOSS. EVEN MY KIDS CAN DO IT.
YOU WILL GET ALL OF THIS FOR THE LOW-LOW PRICE OF $19.99 A MONTH FOR eighty six mo.
Haha , nice garage . At least the left side part is ok
*facepalm*
NO,honey–I said take out the GARBAGE!!!
Ha ha!
Hands mrs_z an award for 1st audible laugh if the day!
Hey look Ma, no hands!
WWWEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
*crashes and does a barrel roll* Awesome!
I think I broke my legs.
Who here thinks thats fun?
I was thinking “DUI Win”… =/
No, its actually “Female Driver Fail”
*squeezes everybody*
I’ll see you all on Monday. Have a mahvelous weekend, dahlings!
*airkisses*
couldn’t decide between the left and the right one…
buba® doesn’t drive.
her name is katrina?
This is almost as bad as that time I forgot how to sit
How does one go about forgetting how to sit?
drinking helps
I bet there was a point when they knew they were gunna flip, but still got it in the garage. Now that’s commitment.
how does that even happen? seriously? how? what was the car smoking, I don’t care how drunk/stoned the person is, the car was on something…other than it’s side.
Looks to be one of two things:
1. As suggested before, someone coming from the right side of the picture, losing control of their car, going across the yard of the house to the right, hitting the steps/guardrail, and flipping onto its side as it slides into the garage door.
2. The houses are built well enough to show minimal effects, but a small tornado, or a straight-line wind gust of high speed (which are more common than tornados, but of similar strength), tumbled the neighbor’s car over the steps and onto the garage door.
Basara549,
I think the physics are off. The guard rail is too close to the house (3 feet maybe) for someone to flip off of that, land as far away as they did (without flipping more) and hit the garage right in the middle.
Maybe I am thinking about it too much, but another car or something like a rhino…or alien…had to hit in between the stairs and the sideways car (scooping the car up on it’s side).
And there is not enough collateral damage for a straight line wind gust.
It’s obvious, the car was on drugs.
wow, didnt know a car could do that… hmm
Did someone let a woman drive again?
*Hot Sauce* Uhmmmm… unfortunately… yes… hahaha panny :
Fake. I can tell by the pixels
I agree. This is a 3D rendering, not a photo.
This is real. I’ve seen this before, in a news story. The guy was a local car dealer and former local sports hero, driving drunk. VERY FAST.
I believe one person was killed.
Let me see if I can find the story.
Is that Billy Joel’s house? He seems to have a habit of getting drunk and running into houses.
did the witch died under the house?
Wifes home
Thats how would park my car
Why? Are you a woman?
That’s not funny, my brother died this way
KILLJOY!
Must be Billy Joel’s house. Or did he die?
This isn’t fail. It’s far more space-efficient this way.
“Honey, I’m Hooomme!”
Clearly, the driver thought it was cool to bring down the house…
|the kid|
N00B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOB!
Come ‘on you people, at least the driver arrived home after a long night at the local bar…
Go back to you-tube and stop spamming Fail Blog, you pesky troll.
WTF!!!
droog
they deserve it, what a lack of inspiration… hope their new car isnt grey.
: ]
i love that we all know it is a she.
You you should make changes to the webpage subject Parking Fail – Epic Fail Funny Videos and Funny Pictures to something more better for your webpage you create. I loved the post even sononetheless.