Spelling Fail
Picture by: dunno source. Submitted by: Larry via Fail Uploader
Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous Hair Salon Win | Parking Fail Next »
» 820 Failures in Communication
-
Recent Comments
Marius on People You Don’t Want To… Judy on People You Don’t Want To… Ferme la Bouche on Nice neighborhood then? godouggo on People You Don’t Want To… Judy on People You Don’t Want To… doremi on People You Don’t Want To… Judy on People You Don’t Want To… Marius on People You Don’t Want To… Judy on People You Don’t Want To… Black Garnets, Hater… on People You Don’t Want To… 
Cheezburger Network Blog
no daut about it
*lau out loud*
♪ Don’t call me dauter, not fit to.
No picture kept will remind me. ♫
♪ The parents that write, they ain’t so bright,
Deep in the heart of Texas ♫
.
(At least their “♥” in the right place.)
It’s the thot that counts.
Sometimes thot escapes me deep in the hot of Texas.
In the hought of Texas? You really out not to’ve..
It is the intemperate heit of folly.
*Gets ready for a gunfit*
HI NOON!
Hi plains drifter!
dauter: verb; to be illiterate
^ high combo breaker
Oh Shenandoah, I love your dauter…
i doen’t git et.
Nice! Reminds me of that Mitch Hedberg bit about visiting the s’th..
don’t make me lau
^ sounds a bit distraut
I was distraht because I thout saw a ost, but I realised it was my dauter’s blanket caut in a draft from the window, which made me lau so loud I disturbed the neibours.
That mit have been better if I could mispell distraut properly. Si…. I’ll just go back to enjoying my draut beer.
Oh, I can tell already that this fail is going to make my head asplode…
*thinks positive thots*
Woo hoo!! A tost to ur misspllins! Sampayne anyone?
ooo, yes and razberys
*dinks*
*crys*
*tizzyooz*
*bubbles*
*heaves chest*
*thunk*
Ooof!!!!
Once, Admiral, when I couldn’t go a day without making at least potato jokes, you made a potato joke and wrote: *sigh*. I do it for Fluffy.
I wanted you to know I still appreciate that.
*at least ten
(bukkit)
*gurgles*
*big, long squeeze*
*struggling*
Something you need to get off your chest there, Mr. Scott?
Um, yes, and I’ve been waiting to do so for a long time!
It’s a good thing the tank is made of transparent aluminum/aluminium.
*gives Scotty a hand*
Thanks! It’s true, it really does feel good to get things off your chest.
Oooooh…
Hee Hee! You make me laugh DW!
Hee!
Oooooh. You is mean. You left the liscence no. unblurred…
I don’t think anyone commenting here has anything to do with the license plate not being blurred out.
One of the dumbest forum ever. People here are so lame and a bunch of retards, no wit at all.
Then you must fit right in.
And I love you too! Happy Falker Satherhood!
Love that blog! One of my daily stops…along with FB, of course!
Cake Wrecks! It’s hilarious!
Clickie!
Gotta love the Carrot Jockeys…
OMG the carrot jockeys are hilarious! I’m changing my name to Carrot Jockey.
yes, i love it too. under neat that,….
This is the one I’m talking about…
^clicky^
No, Brewski. Cake wrecks! Go here:
http(colon)//cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/10/sorry-you-cant-have-any.html
Great minds, I guess, right?
Ok, thanks to you two, I just spent about half an hour there. And I found this! Both Nightshayde AND ZA would be happy!
*rofl!*
Cute!!!!
They will appreciate it.
I can’t believe you didn’t know about this site, Avis! This is totally your kind of thing!
I had been there before, but that was over a year ago. Clearly I need to add this to my list of daywreckers.
I can’t bake. Not and have it turn out pretty.
Dismembered Hello Kitty Zombie.
I’m not sure whether it’s cute or disturbing. I suppose it could be both…
I read cakewrecks every day.
It’s cute if this is where Hello Kitties go in the afterlife.
It’s disturbing if this is the result of a Hello Kitty AK-47 accident. (clickie clickie!)
Not. Gonna. Clickie.
Did you clickie on the Hello Kitty Zombie cake link?
Um, ZA, Why are you hanging around on a site called “Glam Guns?”
There’s a difference between “able to find” and “hanging around”.
Still.
.
And how do you unlive with this zombie-ness? It’s very uncomfortable.
Abstract has a syrum for that. Find it before rigor mortis sets in. Don’t question it, just trust me on that. There is no cure and you don’t want it (neither do I, but it’s too late for me).
I’ll seek out abstract.
Just don’t let me scratch anyone.
I am the biggest ClickiePhobe but you can trust me DW. It’s absolutely safe.
I take responsibility for that, it sounds like my clickie goes to the result of an HK-47 accident and not the HK-47 itself.
HK-47 – damn that’s some funny stuff right there!
I didn’t know Hello Kitty’s last name was Kalashnikov! I will be more respectful to her from now on (°_O)
Don’t clickie, Dragon. It’s a Hello Kitty gun site. It’s as disturbing as it gets.
Blocked at work.
Is it a good thing or a bad thing that it’s blocked?
A curious thing. It’s just a link to the HK-47 (I bet you already know about that, though. I first saw it as a toy and couldn’t stop laughing).
I’m floored by the amount of Hello Kitty themed merchandise available. I’ve seen cars, bowling balls, toasters, radios … and I’ve heard that there are “personal massagers” as well.
I wonder if Chan’s store sells the Hello Kitty adult toys.
Hello Kitty adult toys.
*RIGL*
I suspect Chan would make one heck of a fun night out.
lol, decent! wicked decent!!
Get your sweet little dauter a HK-47 (I like ZombieApocalypse’s name for it) and watch her shoot up the school with it.
I don’t advocate shooting up any schools. Kids have enou to learn without having to deal with dodging bullets.
Have them shoot up the backyard with it. Assuming a yard of sufficient size, neibors tend to get nervous when they hear rapid gunfire.
Unfortunately, students will shoot up schools whether or not people advocate it.
Granted – so give them rubber band guns to shoot at school.
Those things can hurt!
Some do hurt, like the rubber band gun in my clickie!
Someone has too much time on their hands!
OMFG, that’s so freakin kewl! Me wantee!!
Why would you ‘wantee’ something like that?
Yeah, definitely too much time on their hands. Still, it’d be a hoot to play with for a few hours.
You do realize that you still have your ‘clickie’ attached don’t you?
*RIGL*
That’s so sweet.
hehe.. RIGL… I guess that makes me RIFTL…
Leila, is that your truck??
Damn you FB!!!!
*flees*
You powered your first fail!!!
*throws confetti*
Nothing to be proud about.
Pffftt-Pffftttt!!!! *spits out confetti*
could be Skrat’s — I hear he’s a Texan SkratParent
“I want to put ‘u’ in a new Stevie Ray Van.”
We don’t joke about Stevie Ray around here (I saw his last concert in Austin).
*puts in order from Glambo*
*rechecks spelling on back of van*
I like Chris Duarte too. He’s no Stevie, but he’s got a similar style. I tried to see him last time I was in Austin, but I just missed his show (a few days too early).
He used to live a couple of doors down from a friend of mine (Duarte, not Vaughn). We had many late night listening to some good music.
Boy howdy, daughters clearly aren’t the only “Pride and Joy” of Texas!!
But please put your Cold Shot aside, pardner — I mean no disrespects:
SUV jokes aside, I love me some SRV.
Sweet huh? I used to follow Double Trouble’s band Storyville while they were together (met Ms Skratdaddy at Antone’s). You should see Charlie Sexton’s ride…wayy cool. The Arc Angel’s are really good.
huh, i thought he was from Ohio yesterday…. or Monday…
That was Jimbo. I think.
And, um, SuzieQ. I think.
No, SuzieQ is from Iowa.
Yep…we’re the idiots out walking around…
I thought that looked suspiciously like the buttercow!
But(ter) of course!!!
*grabs an ear of good Nebraska sweet corn*
*rubs on SuzieQ’s butter cow*
Mmm. Dairy good!
ah, okeydokey!!
Blasphemy!!!
Blasphemy
But samr, I don’t know you that well.
I was trying to do this
Instead I got this
You’re doing it wrong.
Oh well
I daut it.
Texas, figures.
(Sorry Leila)
No apologies please.
I understand completely.
*sigh*
*whispers*
Leila, your clone has been with Malicite for a very long time. Are you sure she’s coming back?
I’ve wondered too but she hasn’t been answering her cell phone. What do you think I should do?
Not much you can do until she gets back. But I’d ground her, if it were my clone! Selfish clone, keeping Malicite all to herself!
She’s going to get a free law school edumacation by tag-along! I call that a win.
party like it’s 1899
It’s stuff like this that make me not want to tell people where I was born.
Explain Galveston to me. I don’t get it.
I can’t. I just can’t.
Maybe Glen Campbell can! “I clean my gun and dream of Galveston”
*nods silently*
*sigh*
I is a hi skool gradiate!
*throws confetti*
edjumication be one of dem import-ant thangs
OKAY EVERYBODY!! I’m firing up the barbeque. Chips and dip are on the table to the left, help yourself. The keg is tapped to the right, and Maitai’s are ready and waiting on the bar!
*throws a few burgers on the grill*
*sets out condiments*
Eeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
*hands Brewski veggie burgers and portabella mushrooms*
Is this okay?
*throws veggie burgers and mushies on BBQ*
*sips on beer*
I got a special treat too, gourmet chocolate truffles! Hopefully you’re not allergic to chocolate?
Allergic to chocolate? Never!!!! I would eat it even if I end up swelling up like Mrs Puff of Spongebob Squarepants.
Oooooh!
*gives Brewski some lamb chops, potatoes and corn-on-the-cob to put on the grill*
I’ll have a truffle later. Mmmmmm…chocolate…
Can I have a grilled Maitai, please? Just for starters.
It’s been a not-at-all-fun week.
*grills 4 maitais, serves with optional beer-bong on the side*
Sorry to hear that LCB! Maybe you can unwind in one of the loungers… *points*
*throws chops, corn, and potatoes on grill*
*takes maitais, fills plate with foodstuffs*
*consumes all of the above, excuse the plate, while lounging on pointy lounger.*
Now. Where’s the pool boy to fetch me second helpings?
Oh, boy? Come here boy! Miss lolcatburglar would like service[d], please!
Yes, ma’am! How may I help you, ma’am?
Oh, there you are. I need something pleasant to put in my mouth. And some more maitais. Just bring a pitcher of them if it’s easier.
*drums fingers on lounger*
Where IS that poolboy?
*sets down pitcher of maitais*
Now then… something pleasant…er..mouth… uh…er…
*faints*
Oh, no. Um, a little help? We have a poolboy down! Anyone know CPR?
*loosens poolboy’s clothing*
*click*
*checks manual*
“Step nawt sekund, ohpinz teh meowth…”
Oh, dear…
Oooohhh…
Where am I? And why is LCB standing above me while holding a turkey baster??
AAAAHHH!!!!
*runs away, screaming and waving arms*
Darn, we’ll get you again one of these days!
*cough* I mean…glad you recovered so quickly.
*snerk*
*eyes beer-bong*
I prefer Kool-Aid bongs, but I’ll take a maitai.
*slides a maitai down to Lurk*
*sneaks in 2 extra shots of booze*
*downs maitai*
*slides empty glass back to Brewski*
Yum! One more, please.
It’s maitai good to see you here all the same. Bottoms up!
I’ll put my bottom up only if you top off my maitai.
*loosens maitai, lifts over head*
*hands it to LCB*
*fills her bottomless cups*
My bottomless cups runneth over!
They have measuring experts who can help with that, yanno.
Yabbut they all have cold hands.
We’re glad to have someone of your caliper as a friend.
Well, we follow the golden ruler here.
You thought of everything!
*grabs Brewski by the apron and drags him into the cuddle puddle*
*saves Judy a seat*
Hey, you’re already here!
Yes, things eased up a bit here.
What a Friday!
*squeezies!*
One of these days, you should bring your dauter!
What a delitful idea!
AAAHHH!!!! FIRE!!!!!
Who in heck was supposed to be watching the grill??!
Oh wait. That’s me.
Sorry about the veggie burgers Leila, they are a bit burnt. And it wasn’t even Dragon’s fault this time.
*plots a way to blame Arthur*
Teehee!
What’s in the keg?
stale beer
I got my fourth grade edjumication and I ain’t no undummy!
*starts crying* I lovd mi dauter tu. itz jus tu bad i caint sho he’ mi apprciashun lik tis lovn texan jentilman *breaks down*
He takes her to the slauter?
He brot her to the slauter.
let er o let er o let er o
Se’s too ot to andle, to cold to old.
*tosses an “o” up there*
Has annybudy ever told you that you look like the Pillsberry Douboy?
*hands Brewski some filets of orange rouy*
You know…in case anyone wants grilled fish.
YAY! You are here! It’s delitful to see you!
*squeeze*
That made me lau.
Child = dauter
Parent = retuad?
Well, they are definitely bass-ackwards!
Maybe together we can tip the scales.
*smooch!*
Ah, Texas! Don’t mess with it because it’s already messed up…
In more ways than I can count.
To be fair, the spell check option is an additional charge with the Chevy Suburban. Money is better spent on a nice gun rack.
Nah, they have to spend the money on gas. They can’t AFFORD spell check.
I am not kidding you guys, every freaking vehicle out here is HUGE!!!!! I can’t see what’s way ahead of me even if my life depended on it.
Time to trade in the SmartCar for a Hummer, Leila. Don’t forget the “Don’t Mess with Texas” bumper sticker!
ROFL! I rented a Hummer once and my gosh, the dirty looks I got from pretty much everyone riding the road. Those are sooooo overrated!!! No power at all and I am a speed demon.
Oh, I just realized something. You think I drive a SmartCar and granny thinks I am a hippie. Hmmm…
I only said that because you implied you drive a small car, and that was the smallest car I could think of! I have no idea what you drive, and would never guess. So don’t read anything into that!
.
The only things I know about you is that you are multiracial, small/short, and have a tattoo of PeeWee Herman on your whatzit. Oh wait, you told me not to tell anybody about that! Sorry!
LMAO!!!! *squeezekissbrewski*
Ahem!!! Small/short?? I am all of 5′1/2″ (that’s right — I added the 1/2″ cuz I need to). Today I am wearing my 3 1/2″ mules so that makes me … well, I can reach and smooch you without breaking my neck. ’nuff said.
Ahem.
I believe the term is “vertically challenged.”
Riiiiiiit, and I’m “living impaired”.
That would make me “vertically abled”, then.
Kewl.
Hi altitude squeeze!
Altitude with attitude, baby!
*squeeeeze*
I was adept at low to ground activities for most of my life. I only grew to 5′8″ in grade 12. Needless to say I was teased for being short most of my life. Though I was always a tough sob.
*reaches over and squeezes my upwardly mobile friends*
Must of looked over me.
*pouts*
Must have must have****** arg.
Forget the Hummer. Get a tank!
Same gas mileage, and safer to drive.
And Yosemite Sam “BACK OFF!” mud flaps.
Ooh!
*makes note to get those for her Malibu*
Don’t get me started on their stupid/ugly ass licence plates either.
*muttering to herself*
Our license plates look like giant piles of poo. Seriously. I reeeeeaaly don’t want to buy a new car anytime soon because I’ll have to give up my Ski Utah plates
You can get a personalized plate though right? I used to use white out on the stupid cowboy on the horse before I got my other plates. It costs more but the extra $ goes to worthy causes.
We don’t have many options on personalized plates. Kinda depressing.
Speaking of license plates, this guy didn’t get the anonymity courtesy. Seems the FB policy is inconsistent on that.
I noticed that too.
Hm. “BFB” = “Big F*cking ‘Burban”?
My folks call Suburbans “Texas Stationwagons”.
Around here they used to call Suburbans “Mormon Battlecruisers.” Haven’t heard THAT in a while.
Yeah, I noticed that too. But it’s not like we’d do anything … creepy … around here, would we?
*starts googling plate number*
Hey MRN… weird, but that link I gave you for Armsby Abbey? It’s now down. Did FB just crash the page? I doubt it got many clicks, but for whatever reason it didn’t work for me after I posted it.
It happens all the time Brewski…thousands of lurkers are clicking your linkies.
Wow, we are a powerful force! It’s back up, I just got through (errr, threw).
Cover your linkies, Brewski! Lurkers are stalking you!
@AA: *snork*
@MRN: No workie for me, must just be a problem on my end. Unless you are seeing a cached version.
The power of fail.
Is a mighty force indeed.
@ Brewski: I went to a page I hadn’t gone to before, so it wasn’t cached. Apparently the fiber-optic cable from the SW is not as overloaded as the cable from the East (??)
@Judy: You called?
*stalks Brewski*
*eyes Brewski*
*sees no linkies*
Judy, I think he covered them up. Sorry.
Well, there’s all the “Honors…” variants. But those kinda $uck too…
It does come with a “clear screen” function, though.
I hear the Suburban has a hard drive.
Just flip the lever to backup.
It has great disc brakes, too.
I’d rather get a Dodge RAM.
I’ll skip the Ram, and take the Bus.
Meh. People on the bus are always so SCSI.
Not in the entire US. Be specific.
Sorry, punrun attempt fail. I used to ride the bus regularly, wish I still could. And I still take it between Boston/NYC as needed. WAY cheaper than Amtrak Acela, and almost as nice.
But I used to see some CD individuals in the downtown Seattle bus station.
US. Be….
I award MRN the pun-run award of the day! Would you prefer cache or check?
Just wire it to his account.
DVD prize between me and Brewski. He can have the cache, I’ll take the Czech on the bike from yesterday.
*headdesk*
I totally didn’t see MRN’s pun! I thought he was offended! lol
You’d think I could process a computer pun since I am tasked with working with them all day.
*leaves multi-thread, task-switches back to work for a bit*
*gives MRN a cookie*
Excellent Pun!
I think the virus scanner might get that one.
ASCI what you did there.
remember you cant have slauter without lauter
You can’t have hamster without ham (It tastes awful by itself)
*snorkster*
Mmmmmm… HAAAMMMM!!!
*orders up some Pickle Surprise*
I heard that!
Naughty Brewski! You need a spanking!
As I was saying…
Ooh, I’m in moderation! I didn’t think it was that naughty! All I did was tell Brewski to pull his p ants down and bend o ver. (without spaces)
Heh. The “b3nd 0v3r” comment will still get you banned on this site. Thank you, gasman…
*makes note!*
I can’t believe Arthur hasn’t gotten nailed by that one. Many times over.
Farm animal do not need b3nding 0v3r.
*Snork!*
B3nd 0v3r could get me banned?
I must’ve missed that somewhere. Thanks for telling me.
Woops. Sowwy. Not banned…just moderated. It got GASMAN banned. It got so obnoxious that they put the phrase (sans mispellings) into the filter.
Ah. Thanks for telling me. I’ve never used the phrase before, but Brewski was so nauty I had to use it today.
Hamsters are too lean unless they’re given a wheel of cheese.
Wheely???
At least s/he didn’t write it on the inside.
I did initially but my dauter korrekted me.
How did you manage to spell “initially” correctly?
Ma dauter wuz raight heere.
Who wouldn’t love your dauter? I reckin’ she’s mighty purdy.
aw…well …yer jest two sweet!!!
*spits a stream of tobacco juice at a spittoon*
*misses*
*gives MRN & Leila a not-so-toothy grin*
She left before you finished the sentence didn’t she?
she haad tew. her paw and dem is fixin’ to git hitched…
*BARFS!!!!*
Shotguns have a way of reminding you of things like that.
Gives the children paws.
I thought you were in Texas, not Alabama.
Oh!
*moves to Alabama*
Well, you didn’t lose much in that move, since you don’t eat “real” BBQ anyway. You might have to learn to play the banjo, tho.
Hey! Veggie burgers are real once barbequed.
I don’t have a musical note in me so the banjo playing thing is out.
I’m sorry Leila, but I have to agree with MRN here. It ain’t real BBQ unless someone had to kill it first.
*slaps self to remind self to remove the freakin clickie already!*
*sobs*
*tickle tickle*
I don’t eat beef or pork, so eating BBQ chicken probably would get me labeled as a vegetarian in Texas anyway.
*puts an arm around Leila to comfort*
*holds double bacon cheeseburger in the other hand, takes a bite*
*giggles*
Judy, you are so silly!!! I had to stifle my snort.
MRN, why don’t you eat the other animals? Just curious.
*gnaws on lamb chops*
Mmmmmm. I think that the cuteness adds to the flavor, don’t you?
That and the soft eyes.
I don’t eat beef very often. Maybe once every few months. Here in Nebraska, that’s sacrilege.
Not my fault, the ‘g’ and ‘h’ keys on my paintbrush are broken
Hmm. You may have a defective paint brush, Moomin. Did you keep your receipt?
I used it for hamster bedding
…and where is the hamster?
I et him with ham. He came wrapped in paper like a takeaway burrito.
You ate a hamster?
Ok, the sad thing I have discovered since joining Facebook, is that a good deal of my high school friends would not have noticed a problem with this
*snerk*
That’s …. disturbing.
There are many days I fear that a goodly number of Internet users would not have noticed. *sigh*
I’d like to give a shout out to my good buddy Malicite, who has his very last day on the job today. In fact, his day is likely almost over as I type. Congrats, and best of luck with your new adventure!! Keep in touch!
Nice sentiment, Brewski. Good luck, Mal!
*Best of luck, Mal…we miss you!
*squeeeze*
Yay Mal!!!!
Yeah, what he said! ^^^
*squeeze*
*squeezes for Mal*
we’re gla yo do!
“I love my daughter [without the gh].” Hmm… I wonder what GH stands for?
Gigantic Hair? That was an 80’s thing.
So was General Hospital.
In Texas? Isn’t big hair still standard?
Don’t you mean, “ducks under pillows”?
*snorkgiggle!*
I love you Judy!
I’m just as bad…thought “GH: stood for “Getting Head”…
*embarrassed*
*giggles*
I wouldn’t know NS. I don’t look at these people.
Some suggestions from AcronymFinder.com:
Growth Hormone?
Genital Herpes?
George Harrison?
Getting Hard?
Gestational Hypertension?
Government House?
Sounds like pa is a little uptit about his dauter.
I’m sure pa likes his dauter without all those things. Except maybe a Government House.
So are there other people that write “I HATE my dauter” on the backs of their cars to make him feel like he had to do that?
Maybe, if their nauty dauter is hauty.
(sounds kinda hawt, akshully)
Kinky stuff. “My nauty dauter is hauty”. That’d be much more attention-grabbing for yer car.
And i love you, tatti!
Venting.
Asinine account rep!!!!!! He is the type who copies his boss and boss’ boss and many others when he ‘thinks’ I am not doing something right. He quickly found out he was in the wrong. Fingers point at him and he doesn’t even bother to retract some of the ugly statements he made. He managed to muddy my Friday. GRRRRRR!!!!!
*empathic squeeze*
I think we’ve all been there in one way or another. Just remember that no one can ruin your day without if you don’t want them to!
*gets up off of ground*
Tripped over my own words!
ROFL!!! Thank you for the reminder. I don’t know why I allowed him to get to me.
*steadies Judy*
So true.
Want me to GLOWER at him?
Can you aim @ his no-nos when you do?
*hopeful grin*
*GLOWERS* @ Leila’s co-worker’s no-nos.
*clapping*
Thank you Avis!!!!! *squeeze* Actually picturing that in my head made me smile.
*squeeze* Happy to help!
Wow. They totally just shriveled up into little raisins, didn’t they?
Nice job, Avis!
Ha! Got it right this time!
I have an confession.
You mean ‘a’ confession?
Let’s hear it.
*doesn’t see the point*
*isn’t some religious dude*
*can’t absolve sins*
I can be an religious dude. Tell me your confession and you will be blessed with an sense of peace.
I happen to be an ordained minister (got it on the interwebz). I can hear your confession 5 eagles. Have you been nauty?
Sorry shoots “n” with bow and arrow.
My confession is I am
You are what my son? Remember, as an ordained minister, I am bound by the sanctity of the holy confession. Your secret is safe with me.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Tune in again next week, folks, for the dramatic conclusion of Failblog Secrets Revealed!
… where we will learn how on earth … and sea … 5eagles could be the son of Starfish …
I heart when people like to publicly show that they cannot spell.
Like the sign that says, “Respect are country speak English”.
BTW I’m glad I’m not the only one that reads that as “I heart” instead of “I love”.
+1
notice the licence plate .
I find this a hypnogogic suggestion.
What about it?
it a FB plate …
We need more Bort license plates!
*sigh* No, my son is also named Bort.
*RIGL*
Scratchtasia was the best!
its texas. what do you expect? they’re idiots.
Takes one to know one…nah na nah na!
Gang members?
SCARY gang members. Big time scary. In my neighborhood. The kind of gang members that you see on the news. In mug shots.
*goes to Chicago packs Avis and moves her someplace safe*
If I could rightly explain just how disturbing it is that they are in MY neighborhood I would. It’s not just that I happen to live here so they’re posing a threat to me. It’s partly the neighborhood. It just hasn’t seen much crime. Not gang related anyway.
You can’t let them take the neighborhood. Somebody can simply remove the tag, or paint over it. If a whole community stands up, they don’t stand a chance.
Yeah, I know. Oprah lives one street over, I bet we could get her to get something to happen!
(Really not kidding, she does. And no. I have never seen her)
Yikes, the Latin Kings are a scary bunch in Chicago. They are awfully north up there in the gold coast. I suspect it’s a wanna-be teen-ager. They have no reason to claim the GC.
There’s been some recent reports of gang related violence in the area. Both Latin Kings and Disciples. I don’t think it’s wannabes. But even if it is wannabes, they can be worse. They think they have something to prove!
Presumably no chance of succeeding, either.
Maybe some random kid did it on a dare. *hopes*
Oh I figure the tag will be gone as soon as building management can fire up the power washer, one of the maintenance guys will get stuck with the task. It may take a day or two, but it will certainly happen mid-morning. I just worry about who they’ll send to do it.
Send in the FB gang bangers!!
Oh hell, don’t live in fear. Protect yourself. Seriously, you never know what will happen or when. Buy a gun, it’s amazing how polite people can get when they have a gun pointed in their face.
Well, I guess that’s one answer, but hopefully there are other possible responses.
A dead guy advocating the use of guns for personal protection…I’m definitely overdosing.
Don’t you mean an undead guy?
Do you know how often a gun is taken from and used on it’s owner? I hate guns.
What exactly does it mean when they’ve “tagged” your building?
Spray painted their gang’s symbol on or in front of.
…it’s a territorial thing Judy. Just like dogs lift their legs and piss on a tree.
I know that, but what does that mean to the residents? Are they now in any danger when they come and go? Will their apartments or autos be vandalized? Sorry, I’m not a big city girl. I know not of such things.
Living in disputed territory sounds dangerous enough.
It means that there are dangerous criminals in the area.
Paint the bat-symbol over it, that will really mess with their heads.
It means they’re playing “tag” and want to use Avis’ building as “Base”.
But their idea of playing tag involves knives and guns.
*Bang!*
Gangster1: I got you!
Gangster2: Nuh-uh! You missed!
G1: You’re bleeding!
G2: …
G1: Yeah, That’s what I thought.
G2: It’s just a flesh wound.
Your arm’s clean off!
Arthur reloads his gun by sniffing his armpit
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze*
Watch out for nightshayde. I think she has a marshmallow fetish and I’d hate to see you end up in a fluffernutter.
*squeezies*
*hides in a cup of hot chocolate*
No, wait.
So.. a fluffernutter is a moomin-fish sammich???
That’s just so… wrong.
And yet…so hilarious!!!
No no no! “Fluffernutter” = peanut butter and (marshmallow) fluff sandwich.
I know that Failpeeps are friends and not food.
Moomin — are you truly made of marshmallow, or are you simply marshmallow-scented? Either way, as long as you are not packaged in a jar, I think you’re safe.
He is, in fact, made of marshmallow. And I have to say, NS, that nothing in your above comment put my mind to rest. I mean… you SAY “failpeeps are not food” but I saw how you looked at me. Your drool is mixed with my water.
I’m hurt, Fluffy! I would never seriously consider eating such a
delicious-lookingbeautiful little goldfish! I’m good ppl!Sounds. . . .interesting.
I promise not to nibble on you against your will, Moomin.
*squeeze*
*sniff*
Aaaaaah.
The Texas license plate makes perfect sense. At least their “hearght” is in the right place.
It’s a thotful perspective on the comments made that counts.
Its the dam demmucrats and the dam cawngress spendin all our tax munny on stimyooluss packages. We hard-workin’ gun-totin’ REAL ‘Mericans don’t have enuf munny to pay fur hi-falootin’ Gs and Hs.
How odd — lolspeak would pretty much work as a substitute for Texan.
I’m sure the kitties are smarter than a ton of the people there, though (present company excluded, of course).
LMAO!!
I liked your drawlol accent.
*squeeze!*
jus wash yor languages roun thees here parts, howdy-kitten
Texas lolcat = Y’allcat?
Only if it’s friendly.
What if they’re all hat and no cuddle?
…or all icing and no cake?
That would make them a Lollard.
…
*hears crickets*
Damn. I have to stop reading Chaucer in the morning.
I just read the Wycliffe notes.
I’ve been bard from reading such things in the morning…
It really puts you into a talespin, doesn’t it?
So, if Chaucer was an alien, do you think he would travel in a flying Chaucer-saucer?
*cracks self up*
Were you sent to reformation school?
Well, I am a self-proclaimed heretic. It seems somewhat fitting to call myself a loller!
I think Howdy Kitty also something about political polecats.
.
*sniff*
… Such insightful critter-iques bring tears upon the eyes of Texas.
That’s what she said!
Heh – your last sentence is either a positive disclaimer or an even more inclusive damning of people here. (I hope we all know how you meant it.)
Oh, we have to hit reply every time we want it?
Aw…my poor MRN is lost.
*SNORK!*
*snerk*
Well — some kitties are smarter than the trolls here. The Texans who regularly post here are clearly far smarter than the average Texan (and smarter than the average kitty — even though some kitties are rather bright).
Today’s Fail was brought to you by the letter G. Wait a minute…
All it lacks is a “My child is an honor student” bumper sticker.
Honor student? It would be “I love my dauter, but dang nabbit, my son is the quarterback of the team, I’ll tell you what.”
Mah chaald be a oner stoodent.
Mah kid beat the tar outta yer honor student.
Evening to you all.
I’m a friend of Czuhc and he sends you all his best wishes from Berlusconiland.
Regards
Hello friend of Czuhc.
Tell him we said *squeeze* okay?
*squeeze by proxy*
De groeten terug.
I have a comment in moderation, but I have no idea why it’s there. :shocK:
I didn’t use the “i” word. I didn’t use any swear words or any innuendo (maybe that’s the problem).
I’m puzzled.
… and then I mess up a
face. 
Maybe it’s a sign from the gods that I should get to work.
Will we be visiting you in your office tonight? How’s the marshmallow and hot chocolate supply?
I do have to finish stuff before I leave tonight — but I’m hoping to not be here until all hours. I’m still trying to hold the headache back.
Hot chocolate is readily available. Marshmallows, not so much — but I did have a fluffernutter sandwich last night (found out that’s what it’s called via Google) and it was YUMMY.
fluffernutter?? Peanut butter and marshmallow?? My kids LOVE those things!!! My husband started making them and they can’t get enough…
*starts craving peanut butter – no marshmallows*
Yummmmm……
Yup! I had been wanting a fluffernutter for a while, but suddenly yesterday the “want” turned into a “need.” Soooo yummy!
The jig(saw) is up! You wrote a nauty post, didn’t you?!
Not this time!
It’s already cleared moderation thou, so I guess it couldn’t have been that bad.
Oh, snap! You missed it. We’re on the border of a pun-run.
You should never have a crossword for pun breakers.
I didn’t have a clue. They’re much harder to figure out that way, apparently.
*tries to piece together what the theme of the run is*
SO DO you have a K(l)U?
No, I’m still puzzled.
I guess they thought the ‘gh’ was silent.
lol … googhd point!!
Woohoo! We’re in the New York Times! Way to go, Powers That Be!!
w w w . nytimes.com/2009/08/09/magazine/09FOB-onlanguage-t.html?_r=1
Well isn’t that something.
Hopefully, we’ll get an influx of intelligent commenters from this article.
For a second I thought we’d get flooded with trolls, but then realized trolls likely don’t read the New York Times Magazine. I’m with the Admiral on this one!
I find it humorous that the NY Times cried “Photoshop!” on a Failblog post.
Shall we write letters to the editor, and complain?
Omg…that made me *snorkroffle* too!
Huh??
Sorry, had to keep the TX sterotype going. I’m orig from Louisiana, TX is a leap up the evolutionary ladder or would be if I weren’t a creationist.
Someone should let the Kitties next door know about this priceless description of ICHC.
“the foremost purveyor of “lolcats,” a popular genre of humorous cat photos in which superimposed captions sport playfully poor grammar and spelling.”
Dats a bery gud deskripshun, aifinkso!
Hee! It made me laugh.
Leave it to the Times to give ICHC such a stuffy description.
*snork!*
Especially the part about “playfully poor grammar.” In your collective face, people who disparage the intelligence of lolspeakers!
Fight fiercely, Harvard!
For a piece about origins, though, the article is “epoch fail” in making no mention of C@turday, the original spawning ground of the L0lcats concept, born some years ago from the ever-disturbingly-creative minds on 4ch@n.
___
(May be a double-post; I gots no Times for the moderation.)
iz alwais sport playfully wid my grammar.
she mai bee owld butt she stihl haz de sence uv hoomur
*snork!*
maybe that should have been:
scents uv hughmor
My grammer has scents of old people.
Yes, Huh! Ben Huh!
Our fearless leader!
I thought their fearless leader was Ben Fur?
that was super nifty! Thanks for providing that
*squeeze*
only in texas
This whole blog thing today is taking me right back to my high school days. I am afraid they weren’t happy memories. Time to make my exit.
A great weekend to all of you. I will see you next time.
Bye…
Don’t let your nuts out of your sight!!
*squeeze*
Take care, Leila!
Bye!
Watch out for crazy drivers!
I don’t know what bothers me more; the mistake, or the fact that this person can obviously afford a nicer car than I can.
I thought the same thing Tracy. I guess we all have learned that stupidity knows no socio-economic boundary.
Also, it does not follow that intelligent people will choose a career path that maximizes their income.
As a son of a university professor, I can confirm that one. At the time, he had job offers from both schools and private industry (IBM). Industry would have paid considerably more, but at that time, working at a research institution was considered far more prestigious. I fear that educators have lost some of that prestige in modern times… it’s getting harder to keep the best and the brightest in the field of education.
With notable exceptions.
Damn! I forgot to use my new soapbox for that post!! *inserts soapbox ^^^*
Tell me about it.
*hugs!*
Very true Admiral.
Incestous FAIL!
thats in the family
Do we have a bartender in the house? I could use a drink!
*fuming at step-father who left faulty information about how to reach him while in Finland*
Brewski was the pool boy today, but he ran off a while ago…
I think I have some beer around here somewhere….
I HATE international calls!!!
But the receptionist was VERY polite and helpful.
*pops in, wearing tuxedo and carrying tray with drink*
Would a Long Island Iced Tea do the trick?
Oh YES! THANK YOU!!
*starts swigging “tea” straight away*
Hmmm… now how should I tip you….?
That shouldn’t be hard…he’s a pushover.
Tsk. What is this blog coming to, I askew?
These are lean times indeed.
Leaving now. Going camping with the sweetie! Have a nice evening, failers!
*parting squeezies*
Enjoy, sweetie!
*squeeze*
Have an intents time, Judy! Enjoy!
*squeeze!*
I’m out too. Have a wonderful weekend everybody!
Hi guys, joke time!!
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elder ly woman to the president’s office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, ‘$165,000′. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The p resident was surp rised and asked, ‘What kind of bets?’
The elderly woman replied, ‘Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.’
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, ‘Would you like to take my bet?’
‘Certainly’, replied the president. ‘I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.’
‘Done’, the elderly woman answered. ‘But given the amount of money involved, if you don’t mind I would like to come back at 10 o’ clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.’ ‘No problem’, said the p r esident of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square a nd reassuring hi mself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o’clock the elderly woman arrived at the president’s office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president’s testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them.. ‘Of course’, said the president. ‘Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.’
The elderly woman did so with a little smile.. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head a gainst the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, ‘Oh, it’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o ‘clock in the m orning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank ofCanada !’
ROFL!
And then what happened?
well, barring the typical association with the word ‘assume’…. I assume, the lawyer paid the lady the $100,000 he owed her, and the lady paid the bank president the $25,000 she owed him. he pulled up his pants and laughed about the easiest $25,000 he had ever made. They all have tea together once a week and the lady pays.
*RIGL*
I’m guessing that your grave is getting some funny looks.
I’m getting used to it.
Yes. You probably are since you have been doing a lot of laughing lately.
What if there last name is Dauter? Then it would have two meaning and be cute…
… AND I HATE YOUR SPELLING SKILLS…
And I’m sure she loves her fauter back.
why didn’t the submitter or the moderator blur the licens plate?
At least it didn’t read “I ♠ MY DAUTER”!
Or “I ♣ MY DAUTER.”
That would be really bad!
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
Hmm? What’s that license plate say? It look like Nebraska from here.
*hands Captain Obvious some glasses*
Read the top line for me, from left to right.
Top line?
E
*reads the first lines fine, but struggles with the last 2*
But seriously though, I found on Wikipedia at least 3 that it could be for.
Can you read it from here? Because something on my browser has bad rendering.
We all believe it’s Texas.
Drat, I used the i word.
The little symbol in the center of the plate? It is the shape of Texas. Also? It says TEXAS at the top of the plate.
Hmm, that should be right. I can think of so many bad
Gah! Sure accidentied that one!
Tourists, welcome to Americaw and enjoy your stay.
Gosh, I remember that from the ‘language’ fail.
idaho people………………. prolly republican too
Love can make yo do strange things. Like forget to se the letter ” “.
se? What the hell did I do to that poor word.
*Puts away butchers blade*
Spell out the letter ” “, wow I was a long way off.
You must be in love.
Love will keep us together.
Love will tear us apart . . . .again.
When your not around… Keep us toooogeeethhheeeer, Whatever!
It’s lolspeak.
he might be dyslexic though… in which case you’re being a bit judgemental and mean :/
Nope. He just doesn’t know how to spell. The letters that are there are in the correct order — he’s just missing a couple.
Well yeah, but he’s missing them backwards!
lol … heh … ynnuf s’taht
oh. kthnx
There’s this little thing in the bottom right corner of a comment box. It says reply. It’s there for a reason.
Breath Avis. Care for a walk in the park madame?
Not upset, just trying to be helpful!
So you are declining?
*pouts*
How are you doing today?
Feeling icky. Girly stuff. Don’t ask. And with a minor emergency here that my folks need to be apprised of, while they are in Finland, I’m a little frazzled too. Sorry.
*Sends Avis two tickets to all inclusive fuggetaboutit spa*
Why two? Since I know after your first visit you will want to do a victory lap. Hope you feel better soon.
Thank you, I could use a day at a spa! *squeeze*
*squeeze* I think everyone deserves one.
Let’s be honest. How many people just unsurprisingly nodded their heads when they saw the Texas license plate? Show of hands?
You mistake me for someone who gives a crap. ¬_¬
Oh, now is that any way to speak to someone who was only trying to help? Manners!
Well, normally I wouldn’t have replied the way I did, but your “help” seemed a bit too stuck up – “it’s there for a reason.” You should refresh your own manners, you sad little person. And do not act innocent on me – the tone of your words was clear enough for anyone to see!
So is the tone of yours.
My tone changed as soon as he posted that condescending reply to my second post actually.
You came across as somewhat rude though.
I do apologise; I only get rude when I feel someone is rude to me.
Try responding to rudeness politely. You may get a better response. If this doesn’t work, just ignore them.
I know YOU weren’t being rude, and I wasn’t meaning to be rude to you either – you seem llike a nice person, and thanks for taking time to talk to me lol
Your welcome, and it was nice talking with you.
you too (and I guess I do get a bit argumentative when teased). Going to bed now, probably will steer clear of this place from now on but nice meeting you again.
You don’t have to go away because of one bad experience.
He? He who? Sweets, I think you’ve got it wrong. But that’s fine. You’re new. I mean why would you know? It’s not like we have to explain the reply thing ALL THE TIME.
See? There you are, being insulting again. Anyway, I don’t really care anymore.
Hurry, someone call Coyote!
I’m here, however it looks like I’m too late to chat with … . On the off chance that you do see this … Avis was not being rude. She was merely informing you about the Reply button. Many is new poster that didn’t know about it. She was being helpful. Stay calm. Life here isn’t meant to be a struggle, unless one is trying to come up with a good Shakespeare based pun. Have fun.
Oh you are good.
*Hands coyote his mediators sash that he thought was cool in grade 7*
Ever look back at a point in your life and think, man I was a tool at that point in time. Yes I was a mediator… wasn’t worth much but took some problems away from the teacher. I quit the second day though since I wanted to play soccer.
Thank you Coyote! *squeeze*
Coyote is really good about solving problems.
*ponders Iran-Palestine conflict*
Whatever, here is a thingy full of chocolates, for lack of a better term right now.
Ok, see, I haven’t been insulting. A little condescending, sure. But you are so quick to see an insult were there wasn’t one. I was just explaining the reply thing. And doing so without calling names. You ARE new, that is not an insult. And we do have to explain it over and over again. So when I do explain it, it is short and to the point. I also normally wouldn’t take the time to explain this, but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.
Cookie?
Please? I’m kinda having a bad day. Sorry to vent it here.
This is a place for it Avis. You have your online friends here to help.
*Gestures to the comfy open psychiatrists chair*
*In Freudian voice*
So tell me how zis all began.
The issues aren’t really something I can talk about here. One of them anyway. The other stuff is something I can’t do anything about tonight. And maybe not tomorrow. But is of the utmost importance.
*gently squeezes Avis*
Thanks Nightshayde, I think I needed that. *squeeze back*
Avis, in that case this is all I can offer you.
*Shows Avis open arms*
and here is something just for kicks.
*squeeze*
Awww, guys! Thanks! *squeeze*
I’ve seen these days before.
Truly the only cure is a *squeezasaur*
You know, I do feel better!
*perks up*
Really. Smoothies all around. Milkshake maker is in business. I am having a chocolate parfait. Any requests?
You should be. You drove someone away for making a mistake that anyone could have made.
*Hands out Glower shades*
Samr this is not the time and place. She previously stated that she is having a bad day. Why would you push he buttons.
No, she didn’t. … was too thin skinned. She in no way slapped him/her down.
*Hands out Glower shades*
Samr this is not the time and place. She previously stated that she is having a bad day. Why would you push her buttons.
Sorry for the double post. Tried to catch the error…
I don’t know why.
I really need to hit ‘refresh’ more often.
Calm down. Happy thoughts now, Sam. I bet Insert driven-away party here isn’t even bitter about it anymore.
When something ticks me off, I remember it for a long time.
It will probably be a while before I completely calm down.
I’m too frazzled to GLOWER tonight. Maybe another night.
Fuzz kinda got me into the whole Zen thing, and the studies (with my very rudimentary knowledge of the topic) say that forgiveness can ease the soul. I assume the said party has forgiven the accused, because you can’t be bitter about something forever.
Maybe I should look into that.
It probably isn’t a good idea for me to be here in this kind of mood…
Two monks are doing their morning silent walking meditation in the woods. They pass a stream, swollen like a raging river from a recent heavy rain, where an old woman is trying to cross in vain. One monk carefully picks up the woman and carries her across. They continue their walk. Later, when they get back, the 2nd monk says, “You shouldn’t have done that on our meditative walk, you know.” The 1st monk says, “I put that woman down over an hour ago. Why are you still carrying her?”
Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned. — Gautama Buddha
If someone offers you a gift, and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns that gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks. — Steve Pavlina
I felt that they said it better than I could.
Failblog is the duct work of the soul. Vent away.
Avis…chill sweets. He’s new, and he’s not a troll.
*puts out a plate of cookies for everyone*
What type of cookies are those?
YOINK!
*…*
(Cat-quick reflexes.)
Aaaah…I see you’ve been taking lessons from LCB!
She doesn’t charge, but the lessons are expensive!
I have no idea what that meant, but it still made me lau__.
Oh lord. Lau isn’t going to become yet another in joke spelling is it?
*squeeze*
Still at work?
Oh, that is right. NS what is the countdown on your work this Friday. I feel for ya. Hopefully you don’t have the recurring migraine.
*falls on the foggy dance floor, lau’ing*
I can almost guarantee I won’t leave off the “gh” on any fail but this.
Yup — still at work. I have 40 minutes of regulation time left, so I’m not here late … yet. I’m making good progress, so even if I’m here late, it shouldn’t be TOO late.
Oddly enough, I just took a headache pill. I’ve been mostly ok all day, but now the headache is trying to come back. If I can keep it at bay for a little while longer, I’ll be in good shape. I’m cold though — may have to get the blanket out of my drawer.
*Hands NS a flannel blanket*
That should keep you warm till you get home.
*squeeze*
*bows to Emperor* Thank you!
*sneaks in a squeeze for Admiral*
Well if you are going to bow, then I…
*curtsies*
No problemo.
All done! I possibly won’t see y’all until Wednesday. Until then, be good to each other.
*squeeze-ga*
Please? May I have one?
Give CO one of his own cookies. Choco-chip?
Umm…yes. Thank you.
*In between bites*
No problem.
*spews a bit of crumbs out*
Anyone got some milk? It is dunking time.
I have a cow…will that work?
Raw milk doesn’t sit well with me. I am more of a one percent kind of guy.
Really? I’ll make sure to buy that the next time I go to the Texas maurket.
I see you’re drinking 1%.
Is that ‘coz you think you’re fat? ‘Coz you’re not.
You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
*Turns around*
Happy birthday.
No, my mother slowly weaned the whole family down to 1% after my father had his heart attack. We are just trying to be healthier in general now that we have had a scare. Sad it always takes a warning to initiate good behavio(u)r habits.
drink 1% and dine a mite more
I’m sorry to hear that. We don’t usually realize how bad our habits are until they show their ugly side.
.
Today’s Napoleon’s birthday?
*Wonders if drinking 50 times as much milk defeats the process*
Fuzz, I know you are a villain now.
You are the Riddler or Yoda(Sigh not a villain). You are so eloquent with your wordplay and all.
*Looks up and idolizes*
Oh sorry Quaz should have explained that one. I was going for a you’re so fat every time you turn around it is your birthday.
Well my father’s better now. So it isn’t that bad, he didn’t take the time to feel bad for himself since the people at the recovery clinic said a funny thing.
They said, ” Poor all of you, you just had heart attacks recently. Well buck up, you are in the lucky 50%. Those others that died would be more than happy to trade places with you. Now time to fix some bad habits.”
You hear that whizzing sound? That’s the joke going straight over my head. Sorry about that.
It is ok Quaz. I am a 90’s kid, yo momma jokes were key/clutch back then.
Yo momma jokes were huge in my schools for a few years. That’s what she said jokes have come back into style somehow.
Most fads have cycles, just like fashion. Waiting on overalls to come back into style. You know the mobster look.
I wish pinstripe suits were acceptable now. I always loved the 50’s gangster look.
Had a friend who posted God bless pin stripes on his facebook a month back. I asked him why he had done it. Well when his girlfriend came out with us that night I understood. She had the pinstriped suit on and a bowlers hat. She was stunning.
I’m obsessed with hats. I’ve got all sorts from chef caps to soda drinking hats, but I never wear any of them. I’m more obsessed with my hair so I keep it uncovered.
Aw, you have a hair on that shiny round noggin?!
You have every right to be obsessed with it.
I guess I’ll have one…
Sigh she…
Wow, got a word press error saying I was posting too fast and to slow down….
Emp, There IS a speed limit on Fail Lane.
I always thought it was fail at your own risk.
Oh Texas, will you ever let us down in the funny pronunciation and spelling department?
Yeah, but what do you expect from such an uncle-daddy state?
0_o
Now to ponder what “uncle-daddy” means.
plink
plink plink
You aren’t very funny.
Sam, we might have a clone of me on our hands here.
That’s a scary thought.
I’m going to ignore him and see if he goes away. Of course, that didn’t work for me…
I’m not going away anytime soon.
In honor of the fail, this next response will fail to be spelled correctly:
I meent that yuu wurun’t abel to scar me of. Im steel lurkin’ around like the creepy guy at wurk evurybuddy is afrad of.
All of these comments are kind of annoying. You’re all trying to be funny.
This is what happens at failblog, and it isn’t going to change anytime soon.
Self-reference WIN!
I need some breathing room.
Space to respirace? (Czech)
Lair to breathe air?
Thank you for doing your mandatory comment reading and summation for the day. Glad you were able to make a complaint as we love to read about it. Say do you like societies? Do you always enter communities and complain about how they are run? Do you have a better way in which we can conduct ourselves? Are we going to listen? All these questions are ones you should have thought about before you complained about us to us. Please no one is forcing you to read this and be here, please be nice if you are going to comment. Don’t complain about comments and then be a hypocrite. (Complain about comments and post a comment which will cause complaints from others.)
My good sir, that last sentence you said right there makes me almost want to relinquish my title to you. However, I can’t tell whether you’re talking about the trolls like me and SK, or you’re really just missing the entire point here.
I agree with you Jim. All of this jesting is very distracting from the humorous picture. However what is the opinion of we two against hundreds and a couple of magazine articles. Perhaps we should look into ourselves.
Sarcasm and theft from a humorist of close to a hundred years ago.
You sar chasmed me there. I also wanted to use that question mark.
How do you do the arrow?
Is it catching?
No worse. It is
spreading 
all over 
the place 
Oh screw it, I’ll do it anyway.
You’re looking a little green around the gills there.
Help
I 
am stuck 
in 
emoticon factory 
.
Those are all the ones I can do on here.
Clickie
I wonder if she loves her FATER or MOTER too….
Already tried that joke. Didn’t gather many responses.
It was a very good joke.
you guys hink it was good?
Nope.
By hink I mean think of course.
But I liked it.
It was awesome.
Well, I was just commenting on how no-one seemed to care when I made that joke, but that’s the attention whore in me going off. Congratulations Red! You just got some responses on your joke.
Texas. There’s your problem.
Texas – Nuff said
I gotta stop going to that celebrity death watch sight.
No way! That’s a shame.
Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?
Yea he has directed some great movies.
Yeah, that was a mid-80’s classic for the ages. To a dead guy!
Crap, I liked that guy!
Have you become the Failblog Grim Reaper?
I was just checking the deathwatch (because it’s there) and there it was! I don’t think I’m ready for that title. Yet.
Those movies were part of my teen years. It’s like the end of an era. How sappy does that sound?!
Nostalgia is nothing to be ashamed of. I miss the land before time series.
Can one be nostalgic for when a six pack of pop cost way under a dollar?
*Sigh*
If anyone says a word about gas I’m leaving.
Sorry, but I am feeling a little bloated. I’ll try to keep it to myself.
We’re all friends here, just be sure to excuse yourself.
Restated: If anyone says a word about what we put in cars to make them go vrooooom I’m leaving.
Don’t leave, Avis meant to say mom-and-pop store down there. vvv
You already did.
Shhhh! You’ll just fuel his departure.
When I was a kid, my dad sometimes sent me to the cashier at the gas station to buy his cigarettes. AND not only did they sell them to me, but they cost less than $2.
I remember when candy bars were a quarter… of course if I say that around my mom, she’ll say she remembers when they were a nickel…
Holy Crap! As of the time I’m writing this, we have 666 fails!
Aaaaand, Satan moment’s gone. Sorry.
Well, it was fun to troll like that while it lasted.
We aut to have another pun-run, I hink.
Your enthusiasm is appreciated. Sadley, those things just sort of happen.
.
By the way, I just can’t get over your name.
Why, what about it?
Well, It’s just that by name, You and the Admiral are the same person.
I know, but It’s all I can come up with for now. I will tell you if I can think of a better one. I should tell the Admiral sorry for stealing his name.
I don’t think you stole it, I’m just nitpicky. OCD makes things like this get to me.
You can keep on rocking your name I just wanted to throw it out there.
OCD sufferer as well, well not really more of a perfectionism thing that bugs me mostly with stuff that comes to my jobs or school work. I sometimes can beat it down, more often than not on here I can completely ignore it. If I didn’t I would be submitting my posts to proofreading sites before I add the comments.
I register on the Autism spectrum. I’m very low on it, so I probably don’t know what it is like to have symptoms of OCD, but occasionally I point out to other people that it bothers me the way they’re doing something. I’m stubborn like that.
Also on the Autism spectrum. I know very MUCH what it is like to have OCD-like symptoms! I once told a friend she was cutting a tomato the wrong way. Since she is very OCD, she looked at me funny. Up until that point, I didn’t think I had any … tendencies.
Well aren’t we just the crazy bunch.
Crazy and I love it!
Okay, well then, enjoy the new avatar as well.
It’s very pink. I like it.
It’s…red. I appreciate you liking it…but now I feel less manly.
I take the pink thing back. Cleared the cache and now I’m getting Mr. Super O here. He looks like he could take a man out.
It’s okay. Even if you still said it was pink, I would have made the best out of the situation by singing.
Even the manliest men sing.
Oh my god, I love that song!
I sleep all night and I work all day!
I put on w omen’s clothing,
and hang around in bars!
I can change the avatar though, if it makes you feel any better.
Usually!
Ughh. I did everything for Gravatar, put in the correct email address in the FB form…I must be missing something.
Time and clearing your cache. Two things. Try closing and reopening the browser window.
Ahh. That’s better. Thank you kindly, Emp.
Question, in addition to Safari I have Firefox. The question is, how do you clear your cache in Firefox – while on a mac?
Does CTRL F5 work?
Go to tools, options, privacy, then go down to the part of clearing history. Customize it so it says clear the cache. Press okay, then say clear now on the options panel.
Clueless about a Mac. On a PC it is under Tools – Options – Advanced – Network – Offline Storage.
Are you sure? I think it’s universal with the clearing privacy thing on both Mac and PC.
It worked. Thanks! I just cleared it all. I’m hoping this improves the speed on Godot here.
All right. Glad I could help. Heard you’re having a lousy day earlier, Avis. I hope you get better, so that you can post more crazy adventures on your blog.
There’s a possibility of another concert in the park tomorrow (if it dries out), I’ll try to avoid soccer balls and hula-hoops if I go.
Can’t you refrain from concerts?
Took me a moment to figure out why you call your machine Godot. Well done.
How long do you think she’s been waiting?
It’s a slow machine. Sometimes it takes about five minutes to load a page. A FailBlog page.
I can’t stop going to concerts. I would run out of material if I did.
Concerts, or fabric stores?
It took me 90 minutes to download the wedding video of the other day. It was worth it, but it took a while.
Sometimes I think that you purposely put yourself in difficult positions, ie. weird fellow passengers, just for subject matter.
Not ..purposefully really. Those weird fellow passengers are because I really detest flying. I’m beginning to think I’m something of a magnet for the odd.
90 MINUTES? Ye gods! I’d have given up long before that! I’m glad you liked it though. Having been in a few weddings, I thought that was just adorable. And the bridesmaids dresses were *gasp* cool!
I found myself clapping when the bride entered.
As for the outfits, let’s face the sunglasses are what made them cool.
*quietly adds an it*
The fact that there might be occasion to wear said dresses AFTER the wedding was what I noticed! Not many brides allow their “maids” to look GOOD for the wedding!
Truth be told, I cried when I watched it. But then, I am a sap.
No you’re not! Remember yesterday, when you managed to rebuke all of my comments with your signature snark? Would a sap be able to do that? I think not! The FailBlog wouldn’t be what it is without you.
How many spelling fails are there on Failblog?
There’s quite a few. Rednecks just love to supply us with them. Go back in the history and you’ll see that spelling fails go back quite a while.
Roughly 300? It’s a pretty common, often hilarious fail.
THIS. IS. FAILBLOG!!!
Sorry, I couldn’t resist at least trying this out.
And you were talking about someone having too much time on their hands in an above thread.
I meant that we all had too much time on our hands.
Curiously you have two avatars on my machine Captain. One in the comments section (someone in red) and a pink default square in the recent posts section.
I can’t explain that to you. My best tech support advice would be to close the browser, open the case on the computer, and proceed to pour Mountain Dew on it. Hopefully no Flagrant System Errors occur.
Hehe! I missed the episode of the Martha Stewart show where she explained that one.
Are flames racing up the wall a Flagrant System Error?
The one in the recent comments section is smaller, so it’s stored separately on your computer and might be refreshed at a different time than the larger one on the posts.
*takes off one watch*
Is that better?
THIS IS A FAILAAAAAAAAAAAA
props dude
This place is madness!
THIS IS SPARTA!
After that video, I had to say it.
And I’m glad you did, Sam.
Have our earlier Zen words calmed you?
Somewhat.
I’m going to assume you were talking about me during that little spout at Avis, because frankly I’m not completely sure what you were getting mad at. It’s okay. I’ve gotten over it. Like Coyote said, I was probably too thin-skinned and just wanted to prove my point. But there’s nothing like a good argument to vent some steam at. You need not carry on burdens that aren’t even yours. Look, see. Now that we’ve all gotten angry at each other, we actually got a tiny bit closer to each other in the end.
Dude, I seriously need to get some sleep.
Peace dude
Hmm, if I remember correctly…the first one was the morans one, which will be around the 8th or 10th to last page (there’s over 200 in all.)
Holy crap. In that case, America is doomed. :c
Don’t I know it.
Creamboy loves his dugter too
That is classic. Cannot make stuff up like that. People amaze me.
I’m the original proud submitter of the now infamous “Texas Dauter.” Thanks for the great comments and banter. I promise this is not Photoshopped. I’ll take the Texas slandering in stride because I’m pretty sure this person was a transplant from Oklahoma. Keep on Failing!
Keep up the Fail work! this was tight!
Way to hook’em, Larry!
come on, every 2nd “FAIL” now has some shit on the back of a car. I bet the FAIL team is just taking a marker and making these retarded fake “FAILs”
dauter, langauge, some other bull, honestly, give us something good, caz you are close to being FAILs yourselves putting up this shit.
thanks
Hi lame!
Im sorry, but grammatical fail lost its luster.
Unless it changes the WHOLE entire situation, its just not funny.
It pains me to say this..
Yes, if you don’t have a sense of humor, it’s just not funny.
It pains us to hear it, too.
I don’t see any grammatical fail here. Spelling maybe…
LOLSPEAK ATTACK
I love misspeling to, adn I luve too du itt oan teh bak uv mi kar to.
What letters are missing and what letters are wrong and do you think it was funny?
Lets pick a random topic to talk about.
So throw any topics in.
PIE.
Once upon a time, in my History class, (I live in Holland, but go to a bilingual school, so History is in English) the teacher catches someone speaking Dutch. At the time, it was strictly forbidden to speak anything but English in the History classroom. While my teacher was pondering over the subject of the extra essay the dipshit who broke the rules would get, my friend randomly shouts “PIE!” My teacher then actually decides to make the subject of the extra essay for rule-breakers Pie.
~And that was the totally random, weird, true story of my insane History Teacher.
He seems kinda staupid
It’s the thought that counts.
That’s what he said. ^^^^^^^^
I love my sun
Who hasen’t loved you dauter?
you momma
theyre from texas, no one thinks anything of it
FALE!
Wow that’s surprising! Normally Texans are unbelievably intelligent!
That’s sarcasm, right?
Oh a spelling fail. How uncommon…
I think they mean Zbigniew right?
http://mcl1.ncifcrf.gov/dauter.html
He he!!!
I love your dauter too.
I bet shes in the trunk to :O
its because she didnt kick my dog…
Laff @ Texas
er, That’s a gas guzzling Chevy SUV owner for you.
FIAL!!! lul :>
awww sweeet XD
Only in Texas,…..God I hate Texas.
Look at the tags and try to not laugh.
Somebody trying to Americanise the spelling of daughter?
ha
shouldn’t this be on engrish?
you know your a redneck if…