Picture by: liz. Submitted by: dunno source via Fail Uploader
-
-
Copy & paste this:
« Previous At Least Someone Is Thinking Of The Children | Free Fail Next »
» 508 Failures in Communication
Leave a Reply
Popular FAIL Videos
-
Recent Failures in Communications
Boredman on Failbook: She’s 14 s3khmet on Failbook: She’s 14 I want one on WIN!: Shower Design WIN s3khmet on Dating Fails: I’ll See Y… s3khmet on Dating Fails: I’ll See Y… Pancho on Ugliest Tattoos: All Beast, No… Shoop on Autocowrecks: Auto Correct Fis… Tony on School of Fail: Celebrate Blac… yourdad on Parenting Fails: Parenting WIN… Jon on School of Fail: Breaking News:… 
Cheezburger Company Blog
don’t litter
Especially if your family’s gene pool needs chlorine.
.
*squeeze*
my first alien hand looks like a dog paw.
i wonder what they had to go through…
scary…
My first 300 babies fought at Thermopylae and killed countless Persians.
too bad their parents are illiterate
This fail sounds like a Powerthirst reference to me
JESUS CHRIST IT’S A LION GET IN THE CAR
>:3
DRINK POWERTHIRST… and you will have- 300 BABIES!!! You’ll be so energetic you’ll have 300 FLIPPING BABIES!
Say my display name 3 times fast.
It’s actually 400 babies.
yeahhhh…babies EVERYWHERE!!!
TONIGHT WE DINE IN BABY CARROTS AND MASHED PEAS
300…sets of dirty diapers.
OH THE HUMANITY
That guys a legend
300 Babies to 300 different woman
My thought exactly. POWERTHIRST!
400 BABIES!( reference to powerthirst not the fail)
playgroup is win
These are BABIES!
This is madness…
Madness?
THIS IS PLAYGROUP!!
YAY
was that out loud?
BABIES! WE STAND AND FIGHT!
win
THIS…IS…INFANTS!
Too much I’ll-moan-ya?
.
*cleans up*
I agree with previous post!
This is Sparta.
Hi, sparta! What’s shakin?
.
Since it’s just us, wanna go get a cream cheese danish?
If you guys do, can you bring me back a blueberry muffin?
and a slice of pie for me
cherry is fine
“It’s an honor to dine at your side.”
I’m having an old friend for dinner.
Where shall we dine?
Hell perhaps?
Hell, MN Welcomes you!
it’s definietly blasphemy…
No, it’s definietely bad spelling.
Correction fail.
definitely
/ˈdɛfənɪtli/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [def-uh-nit-lee] Show IPA
Use definitely in a Sentence
–adverb
1. in a definite manner; unambiguously.
2. unequivocally; positively.
–interjection
3. (used to express complete agreement or strong affirmation): Are you starting your diet tomorrow? Definitely!
Origin:
1575–85; definite + -ly
Synonyms:
1. See clearly. 2. absolutely, certainly.
Definately!
somebody defiantly is not seeing clearly
It’s deflating, isn’t it?
Quite debilitating
I think we need to deliberate about it. Huddle!
Is it a default defection from defailure?
You just debunked it.
And I destroyed it!
Stop being so defiantly!
i⋅ron⋅ic
/aɪˈrɒnɪk/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ahy-ron-ik]
–adjective
1. containing or exemplifying irony: an ironic novel; an ironic remark.
2. ironical.
3. coincidental; unexpected: It was ironic that I was seated next to my ex-husband at the dinner.
The one you had the other 8701 baby’s with?
OMG YOU HAVE OVER 9000!!!!!
Tonight we give birth in HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
My thoughts exactly, im like “What if it means 300 like the movie? you know like the baby screaming “THIS IS MAAAMAAAA!!!!”
Lolz nice one there.
One unrelated thought- what were they actually trying to get across on that book?
The goal of the Duggar family?
Can you !magine that woman’s purse size by now?
Well, yes, raising a family that large is expensive.
.
Wait, you didn’t mean…?!
No, no.
According to Yahoo, it costs $221,000 to raise a child born last year to age 17. So 300 times $221,000 is…
.
*squeezes for Leila and Brewski*
I didn’t want to know.
*squeeze velvet*
Though not related to this fail (thank goodness!), I’m having a bad day. Can I request one large group squeeze, please?
*Squeezes Leila, Velvet, Brewski, Fuzz, Fluffy, Jimbo, Emp, Abstract, and even Granny, and everyone else who’s here but being quiet today*
*squeeze*
*tickletickle*
You got it Bearly!
*jumps into large group squeeze*
*covers bum from granny*
*SQUEEEEEEEZE*
*jumps in on the Bearly SQUEEZE party*
*makes funny faces, trying to get Bearly to smile*
When I was in elementary school, I had a gym teacher. He was named Mr Liddle, and he was about 2m tall, so definitely NOT little! He would ask all the kids to line up, and then one by one, go around and try to make each kid laugh. He’d make silly faces and such. He always succeeded with every single kid.
So… In honor of Mr. Liddle, I’m doing the same to you!
*googly eyes*
*squeezes Bearly and everyone in-between*
.
*grabs brewski’s butt* HA!
*grabs velvet*
*won’t say where*
*Sticks out tongue and attempts to touch nose with it*
Thanks, guys. I’m actually feeling better already!
*fuzzy wuzzy’s here for the Bear*
*bear hugs Bearly*
I am also available flights through the clouds upon request. I hope your day gets better.
*SQUEEEEEEEEZE!*
Sorry I’m late Bearly.
*Squeezes*
Oh, poor, sweet Bearly!
*tickles mercilessly*
Better now?
*squeeze*
Stop! No, stop! Can’t take any more!
*Gasps for breath*
You’re too good at that! I bet you grew up with younger siblings, didn’t you!
I was the middle child of the three youngest. There were five of us altogether, but the last three came out, bing, bang, boom!
I am the middle child and therefore considered
Why is that?
You middle children don’t get nearly enough attention, so you put up with it forever and then BAM! the passive-agressive nature comes out and Jan beats the hell out of Marcia! Not that I’m trying to say anything about anything…
*football breaks nose*
I consider myself the good child Bearly. You know how some people get their wild streak…I have yet to get mine.
*waiting*
Yeah, I think that birth order matters a lot less than people pretend it does (cites psychological studies to this effect). I think what actually happens is a lot of post-hoc justification when kids are, well, kids.
By the way, Leila, you’ve mentioned a few times that you came from another country to the US when you were a teenager. Where are you originally from?
Picture the horn of Africa but North from there. I am not 100% however – I am what you would call a mutt. Part african/indian …my mother is the product of the Italian colonization of early 1940s so I get a lot of my fiery attitude from that side.
I like your firey attitude! You go, girl!
So… Yemen? That’s actually pretty cool. I don’t think I’ve ever met a person from there before, and I’ve always thought that “mutts” have such a rich cultural heritage. They also tend to be really attractive! (I think it’s the same reason that the “picture” of Betty Crocker is so pretty – it’s a composite !mage.)
Pssst! Bearly, Yemen is not in Africa. Clickie.
Sorry, I didn’t realize you meant north from the horn within Africa. Yemen is directly north of the horn…. *facepalm*
oh, you know….
I am 3rd of 6 and it is generally agreed that I am the best of the bunch!!!
(at least that is what they always tell me….)
*GIANT SQUEEZE FOR YOU* sorry to hear you’re having a bad day
*Squeezes Bearly*
Hope the day gets better!
Thanks to all of you! A few squeezes and a couple of good laughs make the world go ’round!
Her purse size is probably the size of the Grand Canyon by now. You can almost go for a tour in it.
How do they have time to have sex anyway?
I think the more important question is, how is sex any fun if it’s the size of the grand canyon?
Virginity soap.
high 5!!
Well, you would need a man of equal dimensions …
O_O Why am I being moderated?!
300 babies??? tonight we dine in hell!!!
Why in Hell?
Only place that’s affordable for a family of 302.
Even if the father was Bill Gates?
more like Thermopylae (‘The Hot Gates’)
I’m not sure I understood that.
were it all Greek to you
you could’ve joined d-mazta in Hades
The prophet predicted he would not understand. Maybe he should take a walk?
The walk of a thousand miles towards a prophet starts with one step:
– pick up underpants
Prophets wear underwear?
MEDICA!!!! Long time!!!
hugs
Hello stranger!
*Hugs*
Only when they need to compromise between truth and men’s vision of it.
Hiya, medica! You’ve been absent, straight to the principal’s office with you, young man!
I don’t plan on going there (or anywhere like there) anytime soon.
we’re playing with you, samr, here on the small screen
you should go to the movies
I know you are, and I was already thinking of seeing the new Harry Potter movie.
The best laid plants of mice and sam oft go a-narcissi.
We must not go to war. Eltraito hath made sure of it by taking Persian coin.
Did it really sound that way?
Narcissus is Hades plant. I was having a bit of quote fun.
No harm intended.
Are they working on #301, there??
I guess after 300, number 301 won’t really even make her break a sweat
Slip and slide!
Probably can just fart it out.
LOL! Fluffy!
*marvels at the toilet humour*
*squeeze!*
*is ashamed of toilet humor but is glad she got Granny to laugh*
*thinks Fluffy should embrace her inner toilet, even if she’s not blaarging*
i don’t know, sounds quiffy
Meh! It’s nothing to be heaved over the coals for.
I thought it was potty good.
*squeezes all*
Happy Commando Thursday!
♫ I’m free! I’m free!
And I’m waiting for you to follow me! ♪
Free the purses of the world!
Wrong side.
The first 300 are the easiest. Its the ones after that you’ve got to worry about…
i mean, 300 babies, this is madness!
Madness?
This is Sparta!
that guy looks like he might have trouble counting
*checks fingers*
He’s a cartoon.
a very, very rude cartoon
Octomom to the nth power.
Where n = 2.743…
That’s only natural … oh wait, I thought you said 2.718281828…
285~300 but not quite. I used the ever so popular guess and check. Well the difference of exponents. One over one under and increment to the middle.
your math is correct
i was just goofing about computing in a ln(x) system
Didn’t get it until I read your name.
After I responded. Didn’t clue into the natural log reference till after as well.
Easy as 3.14159265…
As American as apple Pi!
No matter how you slice it.
First!!
You’re a little late for the Sparta.
Into the valley of Pink
Rode the first three hundred.
If they’re on number 300 he isn’t packing a light brigade.
They would make their stand in the pink gates. For it would funnel the persian intruders into a single file where their numbers would mean nothing.
*squeeze*
*squeezie back*
Hey Emp! Is the pool done yet?
They are working on it as we speak.
Are you going to let your dog swim in the pool??
We will have to find out if he knows how since my friends dog can’t keep afloat. Therefore we will do a test run first.
Get him a doggie life jacket — he will learn!! My older dog swam after she torn her CCL … thay had to take her life jacket off as when she wears it she just floats (lazy thing). It was hysterical — she looked like she should have a drink with a little umbrella in it…
The hair will be hard on the filter …
What type of filter system did you have, supposedly the one I have/am getting should be good for hair and other things like leaves.
I took her to a hydro-therapy place — no pool here! Not sure what they used, but they were always skimming the hair off the top — of course they had dogs swimming in there all day …
Oh and *Squeeze* by the way, just because you are you.
That’s a standard system. From one guy who grew up cleaning a pool to another, backwash that filter everyday and check the inlet as often as you can. Making sure the filter is running as well as it can will save you a lot of cleaning.
Duly noted.
*pounces on velvet*
*assaults with squeezes*
Happy audit-free day!
*pounce*
Ha! Got you all!!!
*squeeze x 300*
Ms B! *squeezes*
My goal in life? Wait… I read my first 300 abortions.
that’s nothing, i just had my 345th baby. at this point, thry’re just walking out…
♪♫ you had a he and you had a she … [repeat x 300]
and so they will march together, so they will march together ♪♫
Before beginning, plan carefully.
~ Ciceroe
That’s the point where you should just have a conveyor belt installed.
oh, that is actually a really good idea!! how many babies can one woman have in a life time? figure you can start at age 12 or 13 and have to stop by 51 or there about. 39 years in which to bear children. in order to bear 300 childern you would have to have 1 prgnancy a year consisting of 7 or 8 babies each time………. oh, god! I think 39 babies is too much. drs actually reccomend you wait 18 months to start annother baby. so rationaly starting at age 25 according to child health usa 2004 (clicky) and ending at age 45 a woman could achieve only 9 pregnancies.
Making big plans, are you?
You will never experience pain like childbirth. You want to keep doing it again and again?
Epidurals are a life saver! I would have never had a second child without that miracle of the medicine world!
You forget about it after a little while (at least I did) “regular” birth is definately better than a C-section. I had both — C-section with Matt and then “regular” with my daughter. And, yes, epidurals are great…
Wow, they let you have a natural birth after a C-section? That’s really unusual – most people are relegated to C-sections exclusively after they have the first one.
It depends on your doctor. There is a large gravitation to natural birth nowadays. I think the trends change every few years.
My Mom had 5 c-sections — her doctor threatened to just install a zipper … she was not amused.
I am!
Yep — gotta love doctors — once she complained of being dizzy when she got up at night and he told her she could be dizzy, she was not blond. When that did not satisfy her he told her to just stop getting up at night …
I didn’t want anyone coming near my spine with that HUGE needle. *shudders* …so mine was natural – 8lbs 12oz and 22 1/2 inches long.
The needle’s not that big. It’s a bit long, but not as long as people make it out to be. Plus, you don’t even have to see it. It goes in your back anyway.
I was going to go natural as well — until hellish back labor kicked in and my now ex was quite disinterested in doing anything… worked out well, as the epidural kicked in I relaxed and Christine just popped out after three pushes — such a good girl…
Of course, that was the last time she was easy…
my parently style is totally opposite the one in this book
The hardest part is when they tell to stay still just as a labor pain hits …
Yes, that is the hard part. “Don’t move while we put the needle into the precise spot.” “Oh, look! Here comes another contraction! That looks like a big one!”
*grumble grumble*
I’m a big sissy. I got my epidural after only 2 hours of labor on my first baby. For the second baby, the second I was settled into the hospital bed I demanded they get the anesthesiologist ready.
Ms B, I have this crazy fear of needles. I am a grown woman and I am not ashamed to cry when I see a needle. I endured 19 hours of labor. The doc insisted I take some pain meds because I refused the epidural and wasn’t dialating fast enough.
They actually were surprised because they expected a less than 7lbs baby. I don’t know where she was hiding but they had to call in for more doctors for help. We made them earn their pennies that day.
I hate needles too, Leila, although I manage when I need to.
And I cannot handle the sight of blood or serious injury. If somebody gets injured, I’ll get woozy. Yes, I’m a wimp.
(I also don’t like graphic violence in movies, and have not watched a number of highly-regarded movies for this reason. Such as almost anything directed by Mel Gibson)
*squeeze* I just knew were the sweet sensative type Brewski … (and that is a good thing)
So, no exploding whales for you Brewski.
*cringes*
I was about 9 lbs. At the same time, a 10-lb baby was born to another woman. Everybody came by to gawk at the “huge” baby!
*pouts cause big baby stole the show*
We grew up together, through high school.
My Matt (the C-section baby) was 7 weeks premature and was still 6 pounds 5 ounces … !! Nurses figured he might have been over 10 pounds if he had cooked to full term …
My oldest was 9 pounds, 10 ounces, born on his due date…and I followed him up with twins!
Did he feel weird that you and the twins were following?
I like the name
!!
Ok, good trick, but I bet you can’t do Fibonacci babies!
Hehehe,
I think that could spiral out of control.
Nah…he pretty much ignores us…
Btw, thanks!
Cooked. LOL *squeeze*
AAHAHAHAHAAAAKKKKK!!!! ok, cannot even !magine the pain!!!
I live in a place where women stop having babies @ 35. Thirty-six is too many, even for them. Most of the time…
I think my gramma did have the conveyor belt mod done.
And always remember, they can screw up an epidural just like anything else. Mine fell out. Got to feel the whole thing. But, I was an old mom for Utah, being seventeen and all…
at lease 4 times
lol, i just want 4. That will be good enough for me. My dear, sweet lover wants 9, but I told him he could have the other 5. lol!
^5 abstract!
? what? if i have 4 and he has the other 5 that adds up to 9….what am i missing here?
I would love to have only one. I think that’s all I can handle. But my sweetie’s genetics say four boys. It’s odd, but they don’t have girls born into their families often, and the girls they do have usually don’t make it. But regardless of intent to conceive, all the women who marry in have four sons. My honey has three brothers, his dad had three brothers, each of those brothers has four sons (it goes on, and on), and the whole lot are troublemakers! I fear for my future.
I think I’m done at two. It’s a nice ratio. One adult per child. My sister just had her third and scared me off from having more.
I am done at ONE. Thank goodness for that decision because with her upcoming wedding and everything else…it’s crazy expensive.
hmmmm… seems only the women here have kids … interesting dynamic (unless its just that the men are not posting about their kidlets)
i don’t have any yet, those 345 and internet babies!
*are
My moms grandma had 13 children…
Take that, dalmations! Almost triple the amount!
now there’s a Disney classic!
Child exploitation @ Mouse-schwitz on a WHOLE NEW LEVEL!!!
101 Dalmatians 3: Too Many F*cking Dalmatians
must be that Mediterranean climate, sclerophyllous vegetation of the Illyrian province, Adriatic carbonate platform, and karst geomorphology.
damn nations
Look at that crazy passport! Sheesh.
Doesn’t that woman have a mouth?
ROFL!! high 5
*squeeze!*
*squeeze back*
You can birth babies thru your mouth?
Lawzy, we got to have a doctor. Somebody don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ babies.
Fiddle-dee-dee! What a prissy thing to say.
What’s wrong with you? You should be kidded and often, and by someone who knows how.
*actually made the green dress*
.
A cat’s a better mother than 300 babies lady.
*Neato, did it stop you from going hungry?*
It will come to you, this love of the litter*. There’s no gettin’ away from it if you’re Irish (Catholic).
You can combine birthing and dental extractions in one procedure.
Lawzy, we got to have a dentist.
up the bum no babies!
Better yet, if she’s already preggers you can’t knock her up again.
and you can get blowies at the same time!
*shakes head*
*slaps granny*
Didn’t you see the “EXIT ONLY” sign?
when the river runs red, take the dirt track
oh dear
*braces for the second slap*
*smacks granny*
That road is only ONE WAY
*shudders*
ew! …not such a good idea especially when the river is flowing. GAH!!!!
*slaps granny*
…tends to upset them yes LOL!
*squeeze!*
byeeee!!!
Whaddaya mean byeeee!!! Get back here. I am not done with you.
You’re going back for seconds??
*flees*
Oh wait. Is that what it means?
No. No seconds for me thank you.
My first 300 babies failed as well.
Time to reconsider homeschooling?
I don’t get what the problem here is. Aren’t we supposed to have babies like crazy so we can multiply and populate the earth?
Why, yes, having that many babies would make you crazy! Plus, can you !magine trying to keep first cousins from marrying in that family? It’ll only take two generations before someone’s saying, “Squeal like a pig!”
does sound fruity
*picks up banjo*
♪ Da, da, dum, dum, dum ♪
*psst!* Newbie…
If you intend on sticking around, I’d recommend a different name. We have a “Boobie Trap” and we have lots of people with “new” or “newbie” in their name. It gets hard to keep all the “new” people straight when their names are so similar!
It’s your choice, of course. That’s just my unsolicited input!
PS: Welcome!
Thank you, Brewski…
How’s this?
Quatro?
This lends further Credence to the theory that you’re female. (I can see all the puns now…)
I like it!
Meh…
Do I detect a critical note?
Uh…no.
I dunno…I kinda like having one original Boobie. Where is she anyway?
*was going to make a joke about having only one original booby — but then thoughts of breast cancer came to mind and I just can’t do it*
*solicits Brewski*
Hey baby…
It’s Leila with boobies!!
*tackle*
*giggles*
Hey, while you’re down here tacking me, I posed a question to you on previous post. Do you picture me as a hippie just as granny does?
I wasn’t tacking you! *hides tacks behind back*
Seriously? No, never occurred to me. I do have a mental image of you, I suppose. (A very positive one!) I’d love to see a picture of the real Leila someday so I can have an actual face to put to the person.
(sorry, double post)
I wasn’t tacking you! *hides tacks behind back*
Seriously? No, never occurred to me. I do have a mental 1mage of you, I suppose. (A very positive one!) I’d love to see a picture of the real Leila someday so I can have an actual face to put to the person.
Hey Brewski — what are the duties of a Vice Provost and just where is your office located?????
AA and Dragon came up with that. I think “Provost” because I tend to be helpful to newbies. And “Vice” because I like my vices. I just added “Affairs” because, well, I like to flirt. And I’m not sure what I meant by “Internal”, but it just sounded about right.
So, my duties? Newbie guidance, soapbox-standing, beer drinking, and
(CENSORED).*elsasqueeze*
You only like flirting online. We were talking about how we would all be if we met in person. Do you think we would go *squeeze* or tickle or *pounce* or *smooch*, etc…etc…? Even a better question, how long do you think it would take for Ms B to take her clothes off?
Umm…
Was I not meant to do that in real life?
You are jam … you can’t do anything wrong. If you want to do all those things IRL, go for it. *squeeze*
IRL? I would love to get together with any of you folks and go out for beers, coffee, tea, whatever… and shoot the breeze. But no, I won’t take off my pants or kiss you or shag a sheep (Hi Arthur!). But, for some of you (you know who you are), I think hugs would be necessary!
MRN, if you’re watching, we should try to meet up sometime. Nobody else is anywhere near me.
@ Leila: I did! Teehee *grins*
*SQUEEZE*
Ahhh… so you just formalized your previous roles…
Provost – A person who is appointed to superintend, or preside over, something; or the keeper of a prison — both work methinks – FB is definately “something”
With the last fail my main concern was the location of the “internal” part of your name …
I usually think of “Provost” as an academic administrator… affiliated with education. I think that was the point. I certainly don’t “preside” over anything.
I’ll send out a search team for my internals.
And can I just say, Brewski, I’ve appreciated all of your “guidance” today. You certainly know how to make a girl feel welcome…
*giggles*
You’re welcome.
*squeeze*
Fail!
Nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Loser!
*gigglesqueeze*
Man, I really, really wish I could get in your head.
I missed your pic and everyone else’s that day because I couldn’t clear my cache. Found out just F5 doesn’t always do it, I have to use Ctrl & F5. Too late.
If you want, you can throw me an email. aiki and dragon know how to reach me. They both can be reached through their web page. I don’t think aiki is around right now, but dragon is.
Don’t think I won’t either.
Maybe it’s a newbie who knows Boobie. Hmmm!
Kinda doesn’t make sense since we ALL know Boobie.
Nothing I say makes sense. You only just figured that out?
Nothing?
*cries*
There, there, Jam.
*pat pat*
We still love you!
Woohoo!
*squeeze*
That was something.
*squeeze*
Cookies?
mmm… I shouldn’t but OK then.
*noms cookie*
Hanko!
You are welcome jam and you should (must) always have cookies.
*noms two gigantic cookies*
NOMNOMNOM!!!nomnomnom!!!!
Wow! Look at this mess!
Any left to share??
*hoping*
*offers Suzie Q jar full of cookies*
Help yourself!
Thanks! Just a couple, though…close to lunch…
*nomnomnom*
Yummy!
Oh, me too? SuzieQ, can we share?
*hands jar to Chanidividus*
Help yourself!
*Takes a cookie or… four*
Thanks! Breakfast was fully unsatisfying today. I haven’t managed to adjust to this so-called “healthy food” I’ve been trying to eat lately.
Chan, Healthy Food are bad words here in FB.
That’s why I always come here to indulge on cookies, alcohol and chocolate cake and the occasional Brewski…
“Healthy Food” are bad words anywhere. Hehe!
I, too, enjoy the indulgences that FB allows us to partake in without consequence.
*Takes two more cookies*
*takes cookie jar from Chan and noms all the cookies*
Oh yeah!! That really hit the spot. Do we have anything else to eat?
I’m sure if we look hard enough, we can find all sorts of goodies. Ice cream sundae?
My theory is you’re gonna die from something…why not enjoy life in the meantime?
*noms a few more*
Glad I saved a few!
Hungry??
Sometimes, Brewski, hunger has nothing to do with it. I have a poor little Aero bar in my purse that’s cowering for its life right now…
Is this Octomom’s autobiography?
can’t tell
*keeps staring at the boobies*
*grabs and shakes Granny*
Her avatar is up there, Granny!!!
….wa…?
She wants to make 300 babies?
*flees*
*shakes boobies*
*:oops:covers boobies*
Did I forget to get dressed?
A naked newbie…Sweet
great for storing nuts SD!
You betcha…I can empty my sack.
hahahahaha!
Peanuts or walnuts?
*starts playing a love song*
*dims the lights*
*in Love Master voice*
Nothin’ but walnuts, baby…
Let’s get crackin’!
No, wait…wrong verbage…
*profusely apologizes*
ugg
*still distracted, but remembers something about…….babies……. I mean boobies*
You’ll fit right in here then. I still can’t find my habit from yesterday….
Cool!
*feels cool breeze*
Boy, are things perking up here??
*looks down*
*looks sheepish*
Hey, it’s cold in here! No laughing!
Amazing…the incredible shrinking nuts…
*points and stares*
*snork*
Sorry, Jimbo
*hands Jimbo a hair drier*
Maybe a quick blow will loosen them right up, Jimbo!
Ah, just what I need. Thanks Brewski.
*uses hair dryer to tease hair into farrahdoo*
There, now my beautiful golden locks will distract everyone.
Powerthirst works! (this is relevant, do a search on college humor)
Or maybe Brawndo.
Give Shocolate to your babies and they’ll be good at SPORTS…?
They must be drinking Powerthirst.
‘Sif not 400 babies. They must not have finished their glass of Powerthirst. Now we’ll have a shortage of athletes to tie with the Kenyans. -.-
No, this book is just only about their first 300. The other 100 they don’t care about enough to include in the book.
Lol! 300 kids!
Wot no clown car jokes?
Also if you’re an obstetrician, 300 babies won’t take too long to rack up.
I’ve read the book. It’s by a woman who helped many couples with their babies. Her vast experience is referenced by the title.
It’s a terrible book.
I would have guessed as much. So in this case, you really can read a book by looking at its cover.
“JUDGE” a book. *headdesk*
You crack me up!!!
*squeeze!*
Hi Judy!!
*SQUEEZE*
It’s a terrible title, too.
With a terrible picture.
That hand is creeping me out!!!
“The hand that rocks the cradle”
*picks up phone to check kid*
*fires “on” between check and kid with nerf gun*
*grabs nerf gun from Skrat and runs away*
She advised strict feeding and sleep schedules and to leave your baby alone so it learns to be self-sufficient. If you follow her advice you 6 day old will be changing its own diaper and making its own bottles so you don’t have to bother with it anymore…
*shudder*
Now if only she can tell us how they can get a job too.
And pay my mortgage, car, and beer tab.
…and pay for their own tuition!!!
Never!!
Fluffy! You’re a titleist?
(I grew up thinking those golf balls were pronounced “tit least” )
*Snickers*
I grew up stealing them off the golf course.
Now I just slice them into the woods.
Heh. Did someone say “Karma”?
You can always just say you’re financing some 10-year-old’s milkshake habit.
Man, 300 babies. That’s exactly one garbage truck.
I’ll get the pitchfork
ew … I’m going bowling
I’ll just blend in.
Got the tar and feathers…
Who has the torches?
I guess I’ll go find some.
I hope that’s not an attempt at humor. This is a subject we at failblog don’t find funny. Not one bit. So get the hell out of here.
Who exactly is this “we”? everyone else found it funny…
Trust me there are worse comments then that on other pictures, you should browse through them some day.
Man, you really touched off a nerve there, didn’t you?
*uses blowtorch on Ploerp* you may die now if you like or continue running around in aimless circled burning and dripping chared flesh from your bones. eithr way is fine by me. thanks
to all the regulardmay i tell the Ploerp troll to burn in hell?
Proceed
*provides abstract a blowtorch*
Please do…
thank you… *proceeds to use blowtorch to send Ploerp to hell*
Actually, it’s a pretty good book about child training written by a mid-wife/nanny that has been there for 300 births and some subsequent training of the child. The approach of the author is that the parents run the home and the child needs to adapt to the schedule of the parents (not the other way around which is a common cause of parental insanity).
The title does get your attention though.
I personally prefer to let the baby guide the schedule. Some babies can’t be forced to a certain schedule. My first kid was a 3-nap a day baby. Drove the babysitters crazy some days. But it was at the same time every day, and usually the same length of time. And he’s a happier child for it. Balance is key.
In other words, I don’t control his life, he doesn’t control mine, instead we live life together! It’s much more fun that way!
You both look great I might add.
Why thank you!
*squeeze*
Yes — balance is the key. Limits within reason — however, the child is the new life that you chose to bring here — they should not have to conform to who and what you are, but be allowed to explore there own thoughts and needs, within an acceptable, flexible framework.
Sorry — but it is the ADULTS that need to adapt to the children, not the other way around.
Often times it is the adults who unknowingly do the adapting. Aka finding out the child’s sleep schedule and conforming around it.
*blinks blearingly*
Sleep? What is this sleep schedule you speak of? Just when you think you have it, BAM! She throws in a curve ball!!!
My two were 16 months apart and Matt was a preemie… Both were nursed. I did not sleep longer than 3 or 4 hours at a single stretch for ohhhh, about 3 years!!
I was reeeeaally lucky. My first was sleeping through the night at 3 months. He loves his sleep, and still takes naps a 3 years old! Now my daughter on the other hand…
Our first didn’t sleep for three months and became a sweetheart. Our second slept through the night before she was a month old, she has tortured us ever since.
Ach…we just get em at 16mos and already trained. Saves time and sleep.
Hrm — Kudos for adopting, but somehow this comment still hits me wrong ….
Well, the baby house in Siberia had them on a pretty tight schedule. They had 20 mins to eat…after that, too bad. For 5 mos my son would put pcs of food under his leg for later in case he got hungry. Took quite a while for him to understand that he could get food when he wanted (within reason) and could eat until he was full. Bedtime, nap time, and eating time was always on a strict schedlue. That was the “training” I was referring to EM.
Sigh … poor babies. People that take the time and effort to save them are wonderful… *squeeze*
*squeeze back*
It’s just as much for us as him. Next year China for a girl! Can’t wait to go.
Matt would only sleep if you was draped backwards over my pregnant belly, head back, arms over his head- snoring. I told Christine there was nothing she could do about him laying on her as he been doing sicne before she was born!
Weird — trying to post about Matt sleeping on me when I was pregant with Christine and it is being moderated — can’t figure out which word has triggered it — so sorry for when all three attempts post together (or not I suppose)
Did you use the word image?
Did you use the word !mage?
nope …
Does it include a free knife to send them off with to attack and steal from enemy peoples?
They sell that book in Utah, I think. I swear I saw it at a church bookstore.
Right next to the book, “My First 300 Wives”.
*ducks and runs for cover*
Yup! I’ve got both those books on my shelf at home!
*peeks around corner*
I knew we had at least one prominent Utah resident! So I didn’t know if a Mormon joke would be offensive.
Eh! I’m used to it! We’re a weird bunch!
Not as weird as Texans…I assure you.
Hey, we are not weird!
*puts away keep Austin Weird t-shirt*
^ must be on his way to Hippie Hollow … won’t need it there
Better Hamilton’s Pool. Hippy Hollow I have to lose my shorts too, then my nuts fall out.
*Changes brew’s W for an L, and changes the cover to a cat book before he notices*
Brew, why are you so jumpy? I have just presented the book you suggested to all the women here and they loved it.
You’ll have so many babies 4HUNDRED BABIES!
This book sponsered by power thirst
Hey, if you’re a polygamist, it’s not all that tough! 30 wives, 10 young’uns each? I’d hope to do at least that someday!
Power pawning BABIES. You’ll have SO MANY BABIES. FOUR HUNDRED BABIES.
Hello all, I hope everyone had a great weekend?
I missed a lot of fails i see.
I have some good news too.
What’s the news, 5E?
Congrats on your engagement Chanidvidus.
Well I just asked the woman I walk with (girlfriend,wife are possessive names) to marry me on friday. Down on the beach and on one knee.
We are getting married on August 20 2010. You are all welcome to come. It will be a blend of first nations and English ceremonies.
Congrats!!
Congrats 5 eagles.
Thanks you ETC. I am glade I have the Emperor blessing.
Yup I have to beleaf that you will treat her well. Whomever she is.
*POUNCES on Emp*
Allora, come stai mio imperatore?
Ciao principessa, cosa ho fatto a trovare me dentro questo situatione? Io non lo so ma devo far’lo ancora.
Sto bene adesso e lei?
Congratulations!
*Pops champagne cork*
*Passes it around before Dragon comes to drink it all*
Meegwetch Maakwaa kwa (Bear woman). I can’t drink champagne it comes out of my nose LOL.
*Jumps behind bar*
Well, this news requires a drink! I’ll make you anything you want – what’s your poison, 5?
Red wine, they say its good for the heart.
Congrats 5E, we’re all very happy for you.
Thank you Jimbo i may need your strength at the ceremony.
What, you need someone to streak through the ceremony? I’m on it! I’ll have a rum and coke Bearly, easy on the coke.
*loses habit again*
*runs naked through the woods*
*Mixes a Cuba Libre, very Libre*
*Sets it by the edge of the woods for whenever Jimbo streaks back this way*
You are hired as the streaker LOL.
Congrats!!
*looks for confetti cannon*
Meegwetch(thank you) Can you fire cashews out of the cannon instead of confetti?skratdaddy?
Done
*loads cannon with cashews*
*fires cashew cannon*
Run away!! Run away!!
Aww…how sweet!
Congrats!
Thanks SuzieQ you need an avatar girl. Something like C.C.R.
Since I’m new to all of this, could someone kindly show me how to put one on?
Go to gravatar.com. It will pretty much walk you through the process.
Go to gravatar dot com.
Wow…that was quick! Thanks!
We are a loving and helpful bunch.
Got it…thanks everyone!
gravatar.com – it’s pretty easy to do from there. Just don’t log in when you visit FB; put the email addy you register in the appropriate box when you comment, and you can change your name at will and keep your avatar. Enjoy!
Well they have to get married cuz she is pg with 300 babies………..lol
I am a sun kiss member, all juice no seed.
eeeww…
Holy cow 5 eagles!! Congrats!!!!
*puts up streamers in FB room / colorful balloons and bakes another engagement cake*
It’s chocolate with bavarian cream in the middle. Hope you like it.
I know we have plenty of champagne, someone break out the bubbly!!!!!
Beat you to the punch. ^^ 5 can’t drink champagne, though, so I opened the bar. Drink?
Woohoo! Cake and bubbly and parties two days in a row! Work days just don’t get any better.
(The people here are awesome.)
Ooooooooooooh…punch. Can we have champagne in a punch?????
…and yes, I would love a drink. Give me anything you want.
How about a Mai Tai? It’s like a punch and an alcoholic beverage all in one!
*Mixes a Mai Tai*
*Slides it over to Leila*
ZOMG!!! A MaiTai!!! *sips whole drink in no time*
Yeah, I can only have those here Bearly and not IRL. It doesn’t sit well with my tummy.
Hows about a titty twister for SuzieQ formerly newbie with boobies?
Hey, I’m game!!!
Thank you Leila the clone?I hope I am addressing the right one lol.
Any cake you make is the great cake to take.
No, my clone is with Malicite. Which reminds me, where are they?
slip in slide va j j
THIS IS MADNESS!
power running, power lifting, power sleeping, power dating, power eating, power laughing, power spawning: BABIES!!! You’ll have so many babies. 400 BABIES!!!!!
looks like they didn’t finish the entire can since they only had 300 babies
Because after the first 100, the other 200 just slide out smooothly.
Is this a good time to bring up the Bogaert study? “STUDY LINKS MALE GAYS, BIRTH OF OLDER BROTHERS” Troubled times ahead for the Duggars.
IS. THIS. SPARTA?
A book made for Sarah Palin
Does Jim Bob Dugger know about this? Sorry Jim, I couldn’t resist.
Side note – I went to the same school with Jim Bob and he really is a class act.
This was only the first 300, how many does this couple have!?
There must be a legal limit to how many people can live in one house – so thanks to these parents there are now 800 extra babies up for adoption in their town alone.
At 9 months delay between each birth, the mother would have to have given birth to about 42 babies at a time before she became infertile. Someone do the math.
300??? THIS IS SPAARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
THIS. IS. THE. 300th. POST. ABOUT. SPARTA.
I will erase even the memory of JAck from the my browser histories.
By Genghis Khan, with forward by Wilt Chamberlain.
400 BABIES!!! (couldn’t resist)
You can build an entire army with this family.
Dad is Oliver?
Mom REALLY shouldn’t have gone out with him.
I think one of them drank powerthirst.
any more of these and failblog will be renamed irony and metephor that some idiot id too dumb to get blog
Just below camera view is a huge mountain of tiny babies all fighting for their chance at just 1 of their mom’s breasts… the need to survive is strong in these babies, and even at their young age they already know that if they cannot get sustenance they will surely perish…
Maybe she has 300 nipples
How can you fail so hard without realizing it lol
wow… Catholicism at its finest…
Damn Catholics, glad I’m someone who knows better than to belong in a religion and to always use a condom.
Sparta!!!! 300-TUPLETS win!
ROFLLLLLL
This must be a book for Catholics
LOL, yes!!!!
Holy crap…. You’d have to have Decatuplets every year from age 13 to age 43!!!!!!!! And that’s just the FIRST 300!
lol my mom has this book underneath the pic it sais Names
Did they drink power thirst?
if they did, they would have 400 babies, that can run as fast as kenyans
Wow…
More like an epic win
I wouldn’t either, but I wouldn’t mind being inside of it.
That’s what the other 300 men said.
Guess somebody was drinking the POWERTHIRST!! 300 down, 100 to go!
I know I’m late to the bandwagon…But there’s only one explanation for this picture. That woman is a Spartan.
someones gonna’ be busy
Its book for spider females, right?
THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is Sparta.
dumbasses….it’s about a midwife
THIS IS MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kerry Katonas biograhy about her early life never did take of did it?
The first 300 are the hardest.
I would cut my hair there for sure, who wouldn’t wanna look like MacGyver these days?
Uhh, okay.. it changes picture, was meant for the MacGyver picture ^^
Or………………….. Fertility Win?
Babbies, what is your profession?
The epic tale of how a single man gave birth to three hundred Spartans, who would later fight for glory and honor
I’m now 19 and experiencing being a dad. I must say although it feels good it’s still hard. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but to be honest, the hard part is having to balance time. My daughter is great and makes managing her never dreadful. -Teen dad
Power Thirst anyone??
bdc got it right – we used this book to help us keep our twins on schedule and it is excellent.
this is indefinitely sparta
THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who sent all these babies here to fight?!
Cry some moooore! HAH!
Whats even scarier is what this book is really about. The author is more or less a baby-trainer (like a dog trainer, but with babies). She “trains” other people’s babies to be on a rigid schedule
Look, it’s the new Mormon book!
Should read: My first 300 SPARTANS!
THIS IS SPARTA!!!
The author worked in a nursery for babies and got all of them to sleep through the night within their first 2 weeks. It may have been an orphanage, I can’t remember. But the 300 babies were not hers for heaven’s sake. This book has greatly improved the lives of many a desperate mom.
A person necessarily assist to make seriously posts I might state. This is the first time I frequented your web page and up to now? I surprised with the analysis you made to create this particular put up incredible. Wonderful activity!