Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous Magnetic Resonance Fail | Contractor Fail Next »
» 686 Failures in Communication
-
Recent Comments
έπος on Photobomb Extra: Thief of Drin… J on Friday Rewind: Katana Fai… έπος on Vaccination Fail Otaku on Surely that’s Perez… CaptainObvious on You don’t say? CaptainObvious on Friday Rewind: Katana Fai… Not Sure on Right back at you, bud! Not Sure on Right back at you, bud! Vegeta on Right back at you, bud! Squee on Ostrich Win 
Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST!!
FIST!
FIT
FTW?!
Huh?
*finds that whimsical*
Time for an echinoderm refresher course in Failblog acronyms!
*Feels that’s worthwhile*
*Flees teh webz*
Fine then, wait.
*feeds the walrus*
Frollic Through Water
Fie on The Welllllshing
Fallic Trophy Winner
(but spelling bee phailure)
Find the woman (downmarket form of find the lady)
“Cherchez la femme, cherchez la femme, dans la nuit… cherchez la femme, mon ami, mon ami…”
Josephine…
It’s not a Dumas!
Michael?
Michael: …
Operations!
yeah, we play that game…..
finger the whale!!
ok, i wasnt going to, but @starfish, FTW is For The Win
Pah! Everybody knows that FTW is backwards for WTF!
Where’s The Fire?
*wicked grin*
Hee! Here be Dragon(s).
*whips the flames*
Wyrms!!! *runs*
*wuvs that feeling*
Wait, they failed?
Why the fuss?
Front Tooth Wiggles
Hey, uh, Hi! I kinda lost myself, could you please guide me to somewhere more… Uh… Thingy…?
foggy bottom dance floor
… he just had to face it
They needed to kiss and make up was all…
and he was like all down with it
For rill though, kid went for that (expletive deleted) hardcore. Like a champ yo. He showed that floor who the (expletive deleted) was!
(has anyone seen Kids?)
♫I have no legs, I have no legs♪
♪ I’ve got no strings to hold me down. . . ♪
Holy crap, a talking cricket!
Trapped in a wicket cage.
*Nose the difference*
Liar! *brays*
Hi-diddle-dee-dee! Is this a long tail?
Um, no…*hides beer and cigars*
Fine conscience I turned out to be!
*Rabbits*
Alex’s parents were always out rabbiting.
Clickie! (God I hope this is the right one!)
Avis! How could you!!
Hee!
It’s not like he EVER succeeded!
I think that might be.
misty bliss?
hey, come on. It’s obvious isn’t it? those fellas are news anchors.
The audience laughed so hard, there wasn’t a dry ice in the house.
That was slick, AA.
He’s a slippery one, all right.
(P.S., AA: Poseidon Adventure)
Needed to plant his feet, not his face.
I have one of those on my table, in a pot.
Your supposed to keep your face in a jar, by the door.
*scootches a ‘re instead of that r up there*
a bell jar?
Where DO they all come from?
Boston, according to Plath.
His career is on thin ice.
(*yer da best thank-you squeeze*)
The producers are still pretty foggy about what they’re gonna do with him though.
Well, surely he will come up from down there!
He blamed the rinky-dink stage set.
He needs to learn how to go with the floe.
That was cold Dragon.
♪ He was a skater boy . . .♪
Oh please…
+1
Maw crow as the mean one ladies and gentlemen!
*Claps*
Now back to your scheduled program.
It’s tuff to maintain your balance and still get ahead in this berg.
*munches on berg-er with iceberg lettuce and cold-pack pickles*
*Tips hat to Bergermeister Brewski*
ho boy… marius is gonna sing avril lavigne!
No, no, no! No singing!
only dead fish go with the floe… so sayeth sarah palin
hey, your comment was on new video!
I’m glad they had subtittles because I have no sound here at work.
Just 1magine some Japanese speech and a laugh track.
except that they’re chinese and they’re speaking in mandarin?
*sigh* You’d think I’d know better, after spending so much time there.
The entirety of Chinese television can be summed up in two words:
IT SUCKS.
I mean, really. US does too, but Chinese TV takes the vacuum to whole new levels.
(Apologies to the Chinese readers, but I doubt anybody will challenge the above)
except that the show is from Taiwan and not a mainland production?
The assassin always dies, baby. It’s necessary for the national healing.
ice ice baby
I thought it was Cantonknees.
Did he dialect?
That was so bad it was good.
(*Squeeze!*)
The (language) pathologist said his impediment made it impossible for him not to trip up on that!
There’s too much Confucian
I can’t get no relief
So, you can teach an old dog new Hendrix!
YOU can’t.
Die erect?
dancin’ and waggin’* like a flap-R
Die Erect 2: Die Erecter
Die Erect 3: Erector Set
Die Erect 4: Live Erect or Die
Die Hard 5: Terminal Erection
243 min
Die Hard 6: The Hospitaler
Oh, Starfish!
*facepalm*
OMG WHAT’S ON YOUR FACE
A palm.
That’s Andy Lau who made the dive. His native dialect is Cantonknees but he’s also proficient at Mandownrin which he spoke in full spirit.
OMG that made my stomach hurt after I read it.
*ROFFLE!*
It is in Chinese…
But the guy who fell down is from Hong Kong… where people speak Cantonese.
subtitties? What are subtitties?
Oops. I just finished reading a Sale of Two Titties.
I watched Sex and the Titty last night.
I like subtittles.
Let the Right One In?
your so Swede I could just bite you
Error #10001: error: Success
♪I bet I think movie’s a-bite me♪
What, THIS?
♪ You’re so artery. ♪
Can I borrow it when you’re done?
Until then you can watch Titty Titty Bang Bang.
Does that star Austen Powers, Intiternational Man of Mystery? Fembots!
Was it based on The Entity?
Only in a roundabout, titular way.
Maybe they should seek restitution from them for taking such latitude with the screenplay?
They could always start a petition.
Do we want to get involved with all that Tit for Tat?
Why is it one or the other? I like ‘em both.
*nictitates*
*is titillated*
You guys are just nit titing.
*Enjoys a bit of disertitude*
♫I feel titties, oh those titties♫
*is irrititated*
Favorite Admiral comment ever: (@cicili, being cicili…) “Bubbles, about the petition I signed…”
*snorkroffle!*
Dilly, just for that blast from the past…this is for you.
OMFG…♫Have I told you lateeeeeeely that I loooooooove youuuuuuuuu…♪
Heeee!
Hee! Dilly! I forgot I affectionally called Fluffy, “Bubbles” (it was her petition). I imagined little bubbles coming out her avatar’s mouth when I read her comments.
Hee! Dilly! I forgot I affectionally called Fluffy, “Bubbles” (it was her petition). I 1magined little bubbles coming out her avatar’s mouth when I read her comments.
(eventual double post here)
two families both alike in digtitty, in fair Verona
Book about the adult film industry??
Yep, it starts out “It was the breast of times, it was the worst of times.”
*rofl!*
It’s going to look like an x-rated horror flick around here if Embarq doesn’t leave the internet alone!
.
*quick squeeze before I get bumped offline again*
EEK?
*quickie squeeze*
Wait…
DAMN! Did I already miss my chance for a quickie?
Out, evil Embarq! Out I say!
*snork!*
Adult film about the book industry?
*ewww*
How so?
How no brown crow?
Ow now brown cow?
They are the ones that go down.
They always leave you satisfied though.
Um…rimshot?
*snork*
*pork*
*pork count = 1*
*Pork County*
Montana
can’t say anything to that
So why did you?
Whenever anyone says ____ City or ____ County, I feel compelled to say Montana. It all stems from Windy City, Montana, which I should point out is not a real place.
Yes, I’m weird.
Define normal, in regards to the rest of us.
*snork*
I don’t think that word agrees with me…
Many years ago the bus station in Pittsfield, Massachusetts had on the schedule “Moose Breath, Montana” as a destination, with one bus departing daily…
ROFL!! *squeeze*
My feet just came out from under me!
*sweeps Ms B off her feet*
That was me!
^ this could smooth floor show for sweeps week
^ and this could be a not so smooth move on my part
SYTYCspell?
You do make me *melt*. Into the floor.
*twitches nose*
In that case…
Wheeeeeeee!!!!!!
Well, thats bad. You should immediatly go to doctor. How many of them you have now?
That’s what she said. Darnit, back to therapy for me.
Wow, this is like Deja Vu all over again.
I mean, we’ve never had a vid of a person falling down on stage, have we?
I actually really like this one, cuz he didn’t even attempt to break the fall. He just went SPLAT!
an all natural give me a break dance
Great, now I need chocolate. What is it with you and your suggestive powers, fuzz?
♪ Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar! ♫
I prefer some more traditional chocklad.
Nell Carter made you do it.
He needed to check if his arm was still on the right way.
Oh no, can he play piano?!?
Yes, I think he can.
(waits for it)
(any minute now)
(Surely someone will say it…)
*pitches a fastball high and inside*
“Strike!”
Aaaand he’s out!
that’s funny, he never could swing before
(…don’t call me Shirley…)
Darlin’ I’m in the red zone…there’s no stopping me!
Red zone? You mean a hospital? What is it?
It’s a big building with doctors and patients, but that’s not important right now.
*hopes al the failpeeps had a nice day*
COME ON!!
Hehe, do you want ME to say it?
GOD yes
Then I can go to bed with a good conscience…
*waits with bated breath*
He can play…chin music.
*stifles an undignified snorgle of laughter*
Goodnight, you princes and princesses (have) failblog. You princes(ses) of unrequited jokes. Goodnight.
I hope you of sweet dreams, dilly.
*squeeze*
*satisfied squeeze*
He couldn’t save face after that slip-up.
Tripping over his own feet would have any body embarrassed enough to fall out.
He just has a really strong work ethic and likes to keep his nose to the flagstone.
The best part is the icing on the pate.
Oh, leave him alone, he’s ‘armless.
(Mostly.)
He was ontop of the fame scene, and as he dance he got to watch as his fame (and body) fell.
Yeah, never go back for your bag.
OH NO!
*checks bag frantically*
Oh…whew! Got my towel.
As long as you didn’t panic!
Not while trying to dance!
Hey, at least it wasn’t a nut shot. Overused internet video cliche yes, the MOST overused internet video cliche no.
I’d like to see another video of a guy getting his foot eaten by a fence.
Seen Idiocracy, Jimbo? It’s only going to get worse.
On this episode of “Ow My Balls…!”
“I want to see films with plots, so you know whose ass it is! And why it’s farting!”
Sheesh! Method actors, you always need a reason.
Hopefully. If you youtube “method acting rhythm farting” and report back, I promise I’ll pretend to look at it.
♪ Who could ask for anything more? ♪
yo, Marius, email me that jingle … so I can delete it.
lulz, steelin mah emailteerlialz<3
Sorry Fuzz, it’s a symptomatic rhythm.
I kinda like the nut shots. Adds to my collection.
Actually i once saw an ad that went like this:
Headshots are hard…
…But nutshots are twice harder
I think it was some online fps.
Now that’s going to leave a mark…
is always good to leave a mark, even if it´s made of blood
Sure, and it doesnt matter whose blood it is!
I prefuh Suhkie’s.
Ooo! Send me the Beel!!
You should nawt do that thang Ah told yuh nawt tuh do!
Ah swear, Beel Compton — you should just be fangful for whut Ah have done fuh you!
Ah am VAMPYYYYR, and you are NAWT, and we are DIFFURRUNT!
does mark know he’s gonna be an ice ice baby?
No, he can’t collaborate or listen.
Apparently Bill’s back with the brand new edition.
*pants*
so close…
“Lose your feet in the clouds and keep seeing the stars.”
What if we’re living Wilde in the gutter?
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up your dress.
*osculates better than ever*
This offer pleases me! Commence.
*Adds osculation to the ocular admiration … from L. admirationem “a wondering at” … from ad- “at” + mirari “to wonder,” from mirus “wonderful” (see miracle).*
ooooo, pretty…
*is no longer a grouch, not one little bit*
*sprinkles some sprinkles*
One of mah favorite cake wrecks.
I love that site. I need to get me some of her shirts. It’s like a word journey.
lol, Happy Falker Satherhood!!
More carrot jockeys, please.
And under Neat that?
Its a gril!
Welcome Little Swetty!
Wow. Avis was right, Judy’s “missed it by that much” could power all of these.
Just most, really.
Very easily this one though. Are we giving Judy the honors?
Since we haven’t a clue who sprinkles is, why not?
Whoo Judy!
No, seriously, not me.
It’s Avis! Hoo-ray for Avis! She’s our “sprinkles” today!
Sicles?
Bleh, “Test-sicles”. I prefer Popplers.
Somewhere on the vote page there is one I “powered”, but I don’t think it’ll make it here.
YAY JUDY!!!
*confettis*
Oops. Must. Refresh.
*judysqueeze*
I suddenly want to see what you do at a suprise party.
She draws an R on the cake.
And always adds more sprinkles. Lots and lots of sprinkles.
Oh, no, please. How about you, Jimbo?
Nope, too late.
Three Cheers for Judy!!!
HIP HIP HOORAY!
HIP HIP HOORAY!
HIP HIP HOORAY!
*confettis*
*throws Judy*
*catches*
*sets up bubble machine*
*fills the room with bubbles*
Yay, sprinkles -I mean- Judy!
I looooove bubbles!
*dances in the bubbles*
Oh! a bubble party? Awesome!
It doesn’t seem right to have a bubble party without fluffy today…
Oh, and *squeeze!*
Ha!
*bubbly squeezes, too*
*squeezes* Where’s Fluffy? I have been in Hicksville Louisiana. and just got to a computer.
*shrugs*
Catching up on current events, maybe.
*yawns*
Perhaps a good idea. It’s pretty slow here at night.
Dammit…now I want an English muffin with black current…erm, I mean currant…jam.
Get me one too please, I wasn’t hungry till you said that. I think I have eaten more in the past two days than I have in a month. I love the south, but my jeans don’t.
You could try channeling that appetite somewhere else.
Gimme some sugar, honey!
*presents buns*
Someone could find a way to twist it into context. Even if it’s a major stretch.
Bleh, stop reminding me of those two summers with Cirque du Soleil.
Ah! I was wondering why the hours you spend on here are so flexible!
Lol, you’re completely right. I’ve just been so tensile, working on and off and around…
He wanted to taste the vapors.
He reached down to the clouds.
He wants the doctor to take a picture so he can look at his broken leg from inside, as well.
I know of a MRI that is free. Dented, but free.
Can it do a Japanesy turnin’ on the dance floor?
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
That pic is just one of the reasons I fear MRIs.
I’ll give you another – about a month ago the MRI at the hospital where I volunteer caught on fire!
Isn’t that one of those items you, you know, maintain every once in a while? Check for faulty wiring and stuff?
Ummm… where do you live again?
Far from you, now! Bet you’re glad I moved! (I’m plotted on Aiki’s site if you really want to know.)
I doubt the fire was something YOU had anything to do with!
My computer and Aiki’s site aren’t all that compatible. Of course, my computer and MOST sites aren’t all that compatible.
Yeah, I’m really glad I wasn’t there when it happened! They’re not used to getting 911 calls from inside the hospital…
Eeep!
It takes quite a bit to scare me, but I get wobbly every time I have to have an MRI.
The other hospital in town has one of the hamburger-style MRIs so that those who are either too large for the tube or claustrophobic can use it. We get their hand-me-downs, so maybe we’ll get that one sometime soon. And try not to catch it on fire, too…
Hee…!
I’m not claustrophobic, fortunately. (Waits for dilly to make a spelunking comment.) But I don’t like the noise, and for some bizarre reason I get anxious because I have metal parts. Oh, and even though the Mythbusters busted that myth, I always have visions of my tattoos spontaneously combusting.
You’re the Bionic Woman?! AWESOME!
Is there an echo in here? HAALLLLoooooo-ooooo-oo*BOOM!*
Actually, im a cyborg in term. I have diabetes (type 1) and my pancreas doesnt work. I have kinda like mechaniced pancreas that’s connected to me by a tube (dont know better word), about 1 mm wide. So, i am partially a machine
How big is the machine?
About the size of an… Cigarette box? I dont smoke, so im not really sure.
Unfortunately, I’m sort of ancillary to cigarettes.
Insulin pump?
I loved the way the bottle of ink shot into the machine.
Your tats won’t catch on fire. They might be ripped out of you, but they won’t burn.
I hope that eases your mind.
My parents have been pushing me to get two of mine lasered off, maybe I should just get in that MRI instead. One treatment!
The term Lasered Off is enough to make me queasy.
Me, too…I’m scared…
Any idea on the cost of said laser removal? I have… a few I’ve considered removing.
Tsk! Avis, you knew better than to get the Admiral’s name tattooed on your… yeah. Even if you thought Dragon would never see it!
(Seems to run a couple hundred dollars per tattoo, depending on size, a “group discount,” and other things)
Actually, sorry – a couple hundred dollars per treatment. It takes several treatments for it to be all gone.
*would NEVER get anyone’s name tattooed, let alone his*
Dragon would FOOM! me to a cinder!
The ones I want removed are pretty small, so maybe I should just start saving now, and by next year I can get started.
Heh…and here I am planning my next one!
(And no…it will not be anyone’s name. :p )
Oh, I want at least two more (already know what and where), just want two or three gone.
I suggest “nuts”. But that’s just me…
How about “Westvleteren”?
Or if that’s too wordy, “Duvel” would do in a pinch.
How about Baltika 9?
Obelon!
Melon?
What about Maelstrom?
CH’TI Blanche…tastes like crap
Crap, you say? I wanted Delirium Tremens at the pub tonight, but instead I got a case of High Life. In CANS.
It’s a trap(pist)!
I was at my oncologists this afternoon and a firetruck was at the entrance to the hospital. I immediately thought that the MRI had gone up in flames. The Failblog effect is insidious.
This is more or less off topic. I was in the hospital between May 13 and June 16. I have a vague memory of somehow getting onto one of their computers and going to Failblog. Does anyone recall if this really happened? I was hallucinating a great deal then. If it did happen was I a complete dip?
You most definitely did. I remember you telling us that a hospital employee let you have access, but it was only for a brief time. I recall being touched that you went to such lengths to check in with us.
Thanks. I remember very little in the way of specific events and I’m trying to piece together a general picture of what I did and was done to me. What I do remember or find out is often disturbing. I wonder how I got to a computer. I couldn’t walk without someone helping me till the last week.
Here you go, coyote…here’s the conversation.
failblog.org/2009/05/23/window-sign-fail/#comment-434479
Hehe!
*shakes fist in pretend anger*
Thank-you for all of that effort DW!
Much to my surprise I came across as coherent. I recall the nurses all being top drawer, but that was above and beyond.
So was looking that up. Thanks again.
Yea you weren’t as loopy as you might have thought. In that state I don’t think I would have been able to do anything. You sir are a champ.
*squeeze*
Notta problem, my friend.
*cheekily thumbs nose at my most admirable Admiral*
Oh I was loopy alright your Majesty.
A sign by the door that reminded people to wash their hands became an illustrated joke of the day.
There was a rabbit on a shelf at the foot of my bed for an afternoon.
When I would wake up I would look to the foot of the bed, see the wall, think that it was the floor and conclude that I was floating.
The lights on the IV pumps reflected in the TV. The lights became an alien spacescape with refueling star ships. I would enter the screen and stand on a grey stone balcony watching.
A nurse would literally hold my hand to keep me from going to pieces on more then one night.
Yes I was loopy to say the least.
Out of curiosity Dragon, have you memorized all of the threads and their locations?
If I did drugs, I might understand what that is all like but since I don’t/haven’t I will have to guess that it is something like the time just before the anesthesia puts you out. Where everything gets clouded and takes a little longer to process.
ROTFLMAO! That’s an even better failblog-invades-real-life experience than Jenny with her pants off or czuhc’s naked encounter with the maid!
When in a medical doughnut I just close my eyes and go fishing or sailing or both.
I just pray for the ordeal to all be over, as quickly as possible.
Try a MUGA scan. The box is about an inch from your nose.
Sailfishing?
Perhaps he should scale back on the jibing…
I don’t find coyote to be reel sailfish at all, but I can’t think of a better time than when trapped in an MRI machine.
Are you two baiting me?
It’s catch and release.
Ah my chums.
*frenzied*
That song was playing when I got to the pool this afternoon, and I thought of you, Dilly!
Awwwww!
congrats to the powerer!!! *blasts confetti*
A blast from the past.
He’s gone back to the flippity floppity flou.
a good face splat in the floor encourage the spirit
That brought the house down. (Could have used him yesterday.)
that’s a ROFL house twist
*pouts because she can’t see the video*
Good morning, Failpeeps!
*group squeeze*
hello, shady kitty
Thank you again for the laugh last night, Fuzz. You have NO idea how much I needed it!
np, ns
Guy tries to dance, and falls down. That’s pretty much it.
It’s a pretty good face plant. This is an excellent example of why I don’t dance….
*morningsqueeze*
Same here. *squeeze*
Dancing (for me) is only done once copious amounts of alcohol have been applied. And even then, it shouldn’t be.
Especially then it shouldn’t be.
Exactly.
The only reason I ever took line dance classes (a verrrry long time ago, and it took years of therapy for me to be able to admit that) was because they were held at a bar.
Sounds like that line got a little blurred.
I took a few years of swing classes, and a little bit of waltz and a few other ballroom dances. But I’m not big into dancing actually. I’m content to grab a beer and watch everybody else!
Swing is kinda fun, I have to admit.
Oooh! Do you Lindy Hop? Dance with me?
*Holds out hands expectantly*
I can do the squirrel twirl!
*wiggle dances*
Wait for me!
*sidles up to Ms B*
*wiggle dances*
Maybe im a strange guy, but i actuallylike to dance.
Some years ago, “60 Minutes” did a story on the polka craze in Finland. It has been one of most requested-for-repeat stories from that show.
And everyone knows how serious “60 Minutes” is –
you polka, you pay … ;]
Polka? I don’t even know her!
*tried to think of how to spell that so it would rhyme, but failed*
You’re not fooling anyone, nightshayde…I know you’d tap that.
Depends on my blood alcohol content, methinks.
Yep, but haven’t done it in a long time, so if I step on your toes please understand!
*cues up some Indigo Swing*
*grabs Bearly*
*shakes and jives, throwing in some Charleston and East Coast swing*
PS Lindy is really hard to learn, but damn fun once you get the hang of it. I never got very good at it.
*Jumps, jives, and wails with Brewski*
Lindy!!!
May I have this dance Bearly?
*Curtsies slightly*
Wheeeeeeeeeee! Let’s dance!
*Swingsout*
What a swingin’ bunch of gates!
Was it hard to tell your heart? Your achy, breaky heart? Did you just not think it’d understand?
I know! All this whispering lately, I feel like I’m on Lost and the Others are coming.
*Stays on the beach fearing the Smoke-Beast*
I’m not goin in there!
RAWRRRRRR!
Yeah… uhh…
Jack, get me some new pants. Crazy Once-Disabled Bald Guy, Go calm the smoke down.
You can get a pair of my pants from Lurk. They’re slightly stained with an exploding-dye packet, though.
What about your 70’s trousers? Got a spare of those?
They’re quite snazzy.
Why, thank you! I’m growing rather fond of them. I still need to locate a rayon disco-shirt with oversized collar at the local thrift store.
Knowing thrift stores, you can find one and buy it in bulk. All without too much damage to your wallet!
Hermes: “Mail call! Amy, here’s your Designer Lingerie Catalogue. Fry, Sadie’s Bra Parade. And Leela, Bulk Underpants Outlet.”
Leela: “Buy one pound of underwear and you’re on their list forever.”
Bearly – there is a red truck parked out front – one of them “good ole boys” kinda trucks – his vanity plate is “Billy Ray”!! F’real!
ROFL! Please tell me the owner has a mullet!
And plumber’s crack
I really wish I could, but I’m not sticking around to find out. It’s a five-o-clock world here. Let’s just pretend he does!
What a way to make a livin’.
Into cloud of… Fake smoke. yeah, thats it.
I was kinda hoping he would dissolve.
Heeeee’s melting.. heeeee’s meeeeltiiiinggggg!!!
I’m gonna guess when he makes a grammar mistake he bukkits using water?
Wait… Fast, its spreading! Lets put carantine here! NO ICANHAZCHEEZBURGER language here! Not even a slighest bit!
The bukkit is its own FailBlog entity, not to worry. Qwaz would have met the shellacked mackerel (again) if he had dared to use LOLspeak!
Nah, I would have just threatened him with it.
Look up at the top. ^^ Got your mackerel handy?
The “Firsters”? Meh. There is someone else I’m seriously considering thwacking. If only to put him out of my misery.
I meant Qwaz’s “Flees teh webz” comment, and right after we were discussing his non-use of such language!
But I think we’re thinking of *thwacking* the same person, and I’d be up for it, but I think he is just a kid.
I didn’t mean it! I take it back!
*Curls up into little ball*
Qwaz you’re safe, it’s not you.
Bearly, I am exercising GREAT restraint right now. However old s/he is, they should know better.
Ah, ok. Right on.
*Walks away looking pretty paranoid anyways*
Avis, screw restraint. Smack him/her, please!
Qwaz, I don’t mean you. *Squeeze*
Aww, Marvin.
*Squeezes back*
*Feels less paranoid*
The Martian? He was always my favorite Loony Toon.
Errr…no. The paranoid android hitchhiker…
I suspected as much…just couldn’t pass up a good Toons reference…
*Whimpers*
Liela Clone is mean.
Wait, she cleaned a toilet with my head, but didn’t thwack me. Nonetheless, Terrible experience.
Are the adjectives getting Germaner around here?
Bukkit is a FailBlog word. :p
Your spelling is almost of ICHC anti-quality. ‘caratine’? ’slighest’?
Geh, sorry. English isnt my main language. Actually i am from Finland. You know, the country between Sweden and Russia…
*slips an ‘ on isnt, like this: isn’t*
S’ok, you’re just slighy too full of beta caratine
This is the Valley. Finland is the capital of Norway.
I thought Finnish is when you are done.
Harvey Johnson: As in Helsinki, Sweden.
Dr. Hasseldorf: Finland.
David Hasselhoff
umbass
I saw what you did there.
Hee! My folks are in Helsinki right now!
I think it rained today, or was it yesterday… Anyway, Helsinki is great place on summer!
OK, I’m a little slow but just now got it…Where is that point awarding person?
Drew Carey? I hate to break it to you, but his points don’t matter.
What Everrr
*!magines guy trying to dance but making a fool of himself*
LOL — that’s funny!
i was like ‘0_o BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA’
looks like he does it on purpose…
I’m thinking I need to go watch some MXC now. For some reason this reminds me of it…
Right you are, Ken!
Teehee! Guy LeDouche.
A very fitting name if I might say.
I like his accent, his pith helmet, and his lechery. Really, the whole LeDouche package.
The ladies are crazy for LeDouche.
Eh, what or who are you talking about?
*wonders innocently*
Yes.
*squeeze*
*squeeze back*
*sob* I want squeeezes! *sob*
*Gasp*
Ooooh. Wrong move, Maw.
*squeezes Qwaz* You deserve it!
Oh muh goodness, I didn’t even know this was here.
*Squeezes Avis*
Sorry for leaving you hanging.
On a summer’s eve!
Strawberry flavor!!
*he hopes*
lecher
c.1175, from O.Fr. lecheor “one living a life of debauchery,” esp. “one given to sexual indulgence,” lit. “licker,” agent noun from lechier “to lick”.
Really?
Yes
Ow… I hope i hadn’t asked
You keep using that word…[do you] think it means what you think it means?
The guys are crazy for LeDouche
Really bad nesting fail
*goes to sit in corner*
DUNCE HAT! *all laugh*
Is this site loading ridiculously slow for anyone else?
It’s fine for me.
Maybe your ISP hates you? Lord knows mine hates me sometimes.
Other sites seem to be loading in a timely manner, just this one seems to have slowed. I’ll have to go over to my mothers and see if my computer has taken a (hopefully temporary) dislike to FailBlog. See you guys in a few minutes. Or maybe longer, depending.
Actually, now the site’s slow for me too.
Yeah, I’m at my mother’s now and it’s not as slow as it was, but it’s still a bit sluggish. Sometimes both my cable and internet are subject to weather conditions. And no, I don’t have cable internet.
And if it’s not one thing, it’s another. I have to leave my mom’s place ’cause the cats are shedding all over me. I’m allergic to the little beasties! Maybe my computer will decide to be kind to me now. I gotta go before I try to scratch my skin off! TTFN!
But the lolcats, they don’t affect you do they?
As long as they speak normally here, her allergies seem ok.
And that is nothing to sneeze at.
Let’s not get rash.
Hello fuzzy Coyote!
Hive got something for you, Marius!
*squeeeze*
Didn’t see that one coming, did you?
I think we need some ointment for this rash. It’s not getting any better.
*Feels no need to break out*
*Squeezes Dragon*
pssst, mawcrow: a hint… this is called a “punrun”. The theme on this one is allergies. It’s considered poor form to interrupt these.
But you’re welcome to join in, just be sure to take your antihistamines!
Zits down to squeeze oranges.
What a brave person marius, few people can handle such amounts of dragon at one time without having an epi(pen)sode. Must have a greater thresh hold than the most of us. Lucky guy.
Pfft. Marius knows he never has to be afraid of me. He has complete immunity.
*Knows it’s time to go when he feels the prickly heat*
Not fear, but some pheromones can spark an unplanned reaction. Who could be afraid of such a nice person.
*Thinks back to when he has seen napalm dripping from dragon’s lip after a nice troll roasting*
*Sheepishly puts up hand in response to own question*
Emp, I’d be reeeeeeeal careful if I were you.
Just a friendly warning.
Did it again didn’t I.
*Removes foot from mouth*
Didn’t catch what I said wrong yet but I am going to apologize in advance just in case.
Sorry Dragon, just wanted to say that,
*in childlike voice (child from 50’s)*
well golly gee I think you’re swell.
You said that few people can be close to me without getting hurt. That’s all.
Breathe, DW. Breathe!
*squeeze*
And it’s absurdly untrue.
Dragon is one of the earths good people. We may kid around and play with fire, but in the end those that gets it asks for it, begs for it, deserves it! So let’s not have any more of these viral outbreaks on how mean our bada$$ Dragon is.
I know.
*smooooch!*
(*sneaks in a *squeeze* for nightshayde, too*)
Hee! You snuck in before me, Marius!
(*squeeze* for you, too)
Oh, she’s a total
kitten. Meow. No danger there.
Playing the victim card gets one nothing Emp. Except derision. You don’t want that.
I didn’t mean it in that way, it was a bad pun attempt sorry, was going for the allergy thingie. Um, you know how some people have tolerance level for what they are allergic to, like lactose. In no way did I want to say that you were not fun to be around, I hope I didn’t offend you.
*handshake offering, if the Admiral permits?*
You can hold your hand out as long as you like. Why would I care?
Well it is just because last time I attempted a *running squeeze* I ended up on the floor. So basically I was asking if it was ok.
Lol-speak does sometimes make me (tw)itch, this is true.
I laughed so hard I almost di(abetes)!
Shut the f*ck up.
I’m sorry if I offended you. Do you have diabetes? That’s something I have. (And you didn’t trick me into thinking you weren’t Dilly, if that was your objective.)
It’s pronounced “Diabeetus”.
*facepalm*
I think this one truly lives under a rock with his computer.
I’m inclined to agree with you.
When has it been pronounced like that? I just Googled it and it seems everyone calls it “diabetes.” First iocane and now this. Could someone please explain to me what’s going on?
Shall I tell him or does anyone else want to do the honors?
Hiya, Cap’n.
People here are playing with the words.
And Dilly is playing with being “possessed” — it was fun being Wilfred Brimley talking gruff off a horse …
But obviously, it wasn’t fun for you.
Sorries. The play gets kinda rude around here.
I know you’ve been around for a bit, but, “lurk more” is still good advice.
Honey, I can’t “trick” anyone using my avatar, which is all I ever use here. I change names but not avatars. You need to use Google if you don’t get a reference and want to join in, or if you don’t feel like research, don’t join in the thread.
No.
*Sits back down in seat, dazed and confused*
Oh…Okay.
I think we’ve all learned something here today.
It was a good session.
*breathe*
Now is the time on Dr. Phail when we do dance therapy:
Oh, YES!
Wave farewell to fat!
Bye-bye, Belly!
That isn’t his name, is it? Oh well.
Mmm hmmm.
So, Captain, see what 20 seconds on Google can do for you?
I would have answered you earlier, but the site is loading ridiculously slowly.
I would have answered you later, but I can’t figure out how to go forward in time, really.
not!
Not for me, though that was 18 mins ago.
From when? Now or later?
I prefer to have my Mars bar now. Thanks!
*snickers*
Oh, must we go through this every time?
*Chuckles*
If you’re hungry, why wait?
*whatchamacallits*
♪Let me call you Sweet Tart, I’m in love with you!♪
Baby, you’re ruthless.
Would you look at the mounds on her?! Sheesh! Some people.
I got the “Willy’s”. “Wonka” make me feel better?
Losing those quotation marks would make me feel like I was in the Milky Way.
Gotta go, all! Meeting Clark at the bar.
For a Bit-o-Honey?
Skor!
Only on payday.
Honey gives me Butterfingers.
These comments don’t write themselves.
Mine do…*is scared*
That was a comment for the man from Barcelona Aja.
No harm intended. *Tips hat*
I’m scared too Dilly. If your fingers are doing their own thing now, what will happen when they snap?
THERE IS NO DILLY THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
Oh $hit, busted!
Don’t cross the streams… it would be bad..
That’s a big Twinkie.
I’m fuzzy on the whole ontological concept. What do you mean by “be”?
I cross the streams, therefore I am.
All r!ght. Important Cartes!an meditat!ion.
Thanks, KatzVonD’Egon.
That’s Andy Lao (no idea how to spell his name) he’s like the Brad Pitt of China
lao lay low
Lao, laody, lao…across my big flat stage
believe it or not, this guy is one of the most popular singer in China. who also happens to sign @ the closing ceremony for the Olympics last year. His career on thin ice? i dont think so
http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=4879207
Did you want to set up this clip? No? Ok.
Watch this, Daddy!
*BLAOW!*
Daddy?
just the way to break the ice !
At naughty parties?
*looks for BFF*
Do the punchline.
I don’t think we’re scheduled for a punchline this week.
Where are we?
*rifles through script*
Week 39.3 no, it’s Tuesday, isn’t it – 39.4. Oh … here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.
*opens mouth to speak*
*blinks*
…LINE!!
Hee!
*smooch*
Oo. My favorite scene.
*smoochity*
And headfirst, of all!
big feet, don’t fail me now
We waxed Sasquatch yesterday, get with the program.
Bye all!
*squeezies all around*
cya, skatting-out-the-threads daddy
Suhkie! Your daddeh’s dahed in a fluhd!
Changed my fuzz style so many times now
Ah don’t know whut Ah look like!
Qu’est-ce que wha? Shut up and bring me some fuzzy warm Tru Blood, O positive one…
zomg it’s Andy Lau xDDD;;
*faceplant* I miss you Failbloggers….
*squeeeeeeeeeeeze!*
Thanks, DW. Work blocked FB and I’m a sad sad girl. Hope you all are well! *squeeze*
I hate when they do that! Work is claiming more and more of our people!
*shakes fists at Katz employers*
hahaha was that Andy Lau?
He’s a great actor, though!
Hey fellow FBers, I’m in need of a quick pick-me-up. Anyone got any good suggestions?
Red Bull and vodka?
Ermmm….
Bleech… I tried that one time when I asked for “Cranberries and Vodka.” It made me want to throw up many times on the waiter.
Clickie. It’s goofy, yes. But it always makes me smile. Work safe.
That’s a keeper! The “I’m sorry” one is my fav!
Mine too!
Anti-gravity capsules?
Chocolate-covered espresso beans are my go-to.
I am new here, but I would suggest a walk in a park somewhere near you. Fresh air, if possible, is always great for one’s mood.
WHO WANTS COOKIES!?!?!
OOH! ME! ME! I LIKE COOOOKIES!
ME TOO! I WANT ONE TOO! ME! MINE!
Thank you for the cookies. I look forward to tossing them.
Great idea! We can save them for when Blog Ninja gets here!
Lol! That too. That was also my favorite line from the movie Twins.
I KNEW I’d heard that somewhere before.
It occurred to me after I posted that it might be too obscure, but I still laugh thinking of it.
Was Ahnold tossing his cookies again?
Sweet. Cookies.
there’s vampires with Swede teeth in the neighborhood.
RAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRBIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTEEEEEEE
Eric?
Shhhh….Leif…
My sweet, Swede, Eli, you sound one SAUCY Welsh rabbit …
*bunny bites on the neck*
*Bunniculawhitewinedublineronryeyum*
Where are my darkside cookies? I wanz dem!
*Begins giggling maniacly*
Watch your tales.
*watches Qwaz giggle*
*taps foot and waits for xCainex to produce cookies*
*Regains composure.*
*Ahem* Uhh… Sorry about that.
Dry-ice fog makes the stage incredibly slick. I’m amazed when someone *doesn’t* fall down.
OK, I’ve brought cookies. Double chocolate chip. Any takers here? No limit.
Can I have some? I promise not to giggle.
Uh-huh, Suuuuure!
I’ve had my giggle fix for today, I’m all good!
I haven’t. Got any giggles to share?
*Hands Ms B 689 giggles*
Gotta tell ya, Avis. The cake went over like gangbusters at work today! Drizzled caramel sauce, then chocolate, then sprinkled chopped nuts atop. Thanks for your tip.
I can’t tell you how happy that makes me! You take the credit for it, you made it.
Have as many as you want. Why would I care if you giggle?
MMMMmmmmmm!
Tanks, Judy.
*munchity-munchy-munch*
We can always count on Judy when the chips are down.
*squeeze and zoink!munchity
Heee!
*yoinks the zoink!*
Even when the chips are up, hopefully!
Yummy! Thanks!
*shoves cookies greedily into mouth*
Fans, Shooy!
You’re welcome!
I’m off to bed now. Work comes early in the a.m.
Have a nice evening, all, and enjoy the cookies!
*evening squeezes*
*sleepy squeeze*
*g’night-sleep-well squeeze*
*Couldn’t come up with anything creative squeeze*
*Buona notte squeeze*
Aka the Foreign language squeeze.
I’ve heard of square feet but this is ridiculous
He brought dishonor to his famiry
andy lau fail.
Annnnnnnnnnddddd gone.
Sure knows how to trip himself up.
Face Plant WIN!
not so much “fail” as an “oops.”
“Careful, the floor’s very slippery.”
Told him that AFTER he fell. Priceless.
Do you speak Chinese or did I miss something yet again?
It’s JAPANESE idiot
Pray tell. Are you calling me an idiot or is this a misunderstood jest?
he said are u okay in the end get this stuff right ur mandarin sucks
faceplant
bloody old clip… this was from the early 80’s? damn… where the hell do u ppl keep these things stashed away…
testing, testing, 1,2,3…
thats andy lau on a taiwanese tv show from 20 years ago. he was considered the tom cruise of asia (thats b4 tom went crazy) and 20 years later i think they call him god or something
I just have to say, people here are really smart…
We have smart alecs, smart a$$es and a few plain vanilla smart.
My smart is chocolate-flavo(u)red.
I prefer butter brickle smart when I can find it.
Last.
okay who threw the banana peel
Hahaha I know that guy… he’s very famous here, makes it much more funnier
Wait, is that Jackie Chan?
Not to be racist, but that really does look like Jackie Chan…
no that is Andy Lau
Wow… This vid must be real old, seeing how young he looked like |D Bring back memories~
Epic face plant. That’s what you get for trying to teach people how to dance.
I believe that’s called the Faceplant. Everyone’s doing it these days.
It’s a keyboard cat moment.
That’s Andy Lau XD
translation: “watch this one!”
falls
hits face on floor
fake, no gravatar
FAIL!
Pzdc…xDDDDDDDD
Replying to Comments are Major FAIL ,specifically if the form long lines