Purity Fail
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» 511 Failures in Communication
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Recent Comments
Marius on Whale Win Ms B ♥ on Whale Win Say g'night, Gracie … on Whale Win Say g'night, Gracie … on Whale Win Jon; on You don’t say -_- on You don’t say fish eye no miko on Whale Win Marius on Whale Win Jon; on Whale Win Jon; on Whale Win 
Cheezburger Network Blog
use the Purell!
… their slogan: “IMAGINE A TOUCHABLE WORLD”
“I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair!”
heh … Brewski’s going South …
That must have been some enchanted evening!
*doesn’t know how to make the little text*
*squeezes to all*
*squeeze*
Little text — use the word ‘pre’ between greater than and less than symbols. Don’t forget to close it in the end with /
Hi Abstract!!!
Hi abstract
Hi abstract
Hi abstractIs there an echo in here?
So just how much HTML is usable in WordPress?
Does this work?
Or thisone?
im confused if this is an english product or arabic who wants to be more white despite practicing islam. Its quite an oxymoron which is similar to Christianity and republicans and porn.
*gets on her knees and begs The Moomin to show her how to make blue text*
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease??????
use ‘a’
TESTES…
Is this blue?
*snork*
You should have put testes in blue…
TESTES
You are so clever Ms B.
L’AMOUR
Moon
Cordon
♪ Mooooooooooon… ♫
Me.
*eyes Bearly’s mooning activity*
Nice!!
streak
mo once on
♫ When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore . . .♫
Moon over Paramour?
da noob
a ribbon for jam!!
Just curious, does it have to be a link to be blue, or did this work?
Phuq I hate today.
*Sigh*
Maybe I’ll feel better again on bayou
‘a’ When youre feeling blue
Blue?/
hi
Woobah!
Into the again.
I hope this works:
/
and again
and yet again
this is fun
so it is
heh … my follow-up comment is under moderation, ’cause I used my, my, my !magination
But it shows, fuzz! It shows!
wHY IS !magination censored?
If they said it on Spongebob, why not here?
Because spongebob is the devil! (sorry, love that movie, been wanting to use that for days)
So, That’s what was in your pocket!
^ this kid’s got brass balls
I didn’t wont to know that
*want*
I already did know that
lol … as is your wont
♪ I’m walking on sunshine ♪
♫ Twenty gets you straight, forty gets you other, think of what a hundred could do. I’ve been gifted with the thing that you wont. . .♫
Ahem. . .
♪Oh-oh, yes I’m the great pretender. Adrift in a world of my own. . . ♪
Yummy soap/
Is there a REAL answer?
I don’t know all the details, but that word is an integral part of a particular type of ad spam which would literally make failblog unusable.
What you talking bout?
what you can’t say the ‘i’ word….. 1magine
i, mean ‘why you can’t…..’
Yes.
We can.
Just not right now.
Maybe later.
When we feel like it.
Go ask your mother.
♫ your mother should know …♫
The same reason ‘923′ was censored in Lineage 2, of course.
The only soap that’s safe to bend down for?
I suspect this is something to do with Arthur.
C. Clarke?
C. Doyle?
… any cakes left?
No
:p
Meanie!
Moomin! You made jam cry!
*raises eyebrow*
*crosses arms*
*taps foot*
*crosses eyes*
*taps arm*
*raises foot*
*falls over sideways*
*giggles*
*points*
*tickletickle*
*pokes the moomin*
*scarpers*
*sniffsniff*
Moomin is evil. Did you not know this?
See!
Told you I was!
You know, I’m actually starting to believe you.
Though, you did say I shouldn’t believe anything you said.
Now there’s a quandary.
A spot of dilemma’nade will fix it.
If life gives you lemmas, make mathematical theorems?
hmmm. lemma see… I doubt I could prove it.
We assume too much.
Are you trying to start an argument?
yes
:p
Did you lose all rational thought?
He lost it all 5 years ago
4th
I'm a douchebag!I’m a douchebag too!
Yay!!So am I! WHY ME?!?!?
*runs out of room, screaming and sobbing*
*pat pat*
There, there BFF. Nothing wrong with being a douchebag.
Cookies?
*sniffs*
*wipes eyes*
Yes please.
*takes cookie*
never understood what was so bad about a shower in a bag anyway- very refreshing when camping!
Impossible to get the temperature right with such teeny handles.
Never could get the coat hanger to hang on the trees.
I use it.
It works!!!!
*raises eyebrow*
*Remembers opening scene from Reservoir Dogs* ♫ Like a virgin, touched for the very first time!♫
“Let me tell you what ‘Like a Virgin’ is about. It’s all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire song. It’s a metaphor for big dicks. “
Yea…it was about a squirrel
*puts away Swedish penis enlargement pump*
*checks out penis*
Ok, so it was not about a squirrel.
Squirrels have big nuts Skrat, quit confusing the twig with the berries.
Oh…I hate when that happens
:-}
What? It could happen!!!
Also, if you use it, you end up looking like the average White American teenager. It’s the thing Michael Jackson did but for girls.
Blond hair, blue eyes… More like scandinavian/northern european, than american tbh…
But yeah…
You better be a veggie burger…
Or else almost everyone here will want to eat you!
Um…er, YEAH!! We will too.
Oh dear.
Ooooh! How important are you?
I think it was a typo, the r shouldn’t be there.
☼Good morning everyone.
Mornin Scott, stayin out of trouble?
So far yes, but I’m working on it!
Thanks
Very.
Everyone above my post tells lies!
That was close!
Extremely close.
*Flying leap @ WN spinning him in several circles before falling to the ground in a tangled mass of limbs*
HI! and *squeeze*
WHOA NELLIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEZE!!!*
That was fun
*squeezes what’s left of WN*
Hi!!!!!
Hiya Leila!!
*SQUEEEEEZES* back…
It was! lets do it again!
*leaps upon WIK with wild abandon*
Ack! *squeezetumblerofflesmooch*
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Prezackly
LOL. You two!!!
*pulls Leila into the mix*
*running start*
Cannonball!!!!!
A squeeze fest!!!! YAY!!! Whooooo!!!!
*remembers she is completely naked*
you’re still a douchebag
Wow! Did you just learn how to say that? I know it’s fun to learn new vocabulary, but you don’t have to use it to describe everyone on this website.
that’s kind of a random come-back choice…
So is “you’re still a douchebag.”
We just choose to focus in the good here. Doody finally learned to use the proper form of you’re/your!
*hands doody a gold star*
*washes his mouth out with virginity soap*
*snork!*
Snork Count = 3,297,576
*SNORK!*
Snork ++
SNORK!!!!
I think it’s time to revise the count.
*goes off to Stroker*
Bam! I did it again. *sigh*
Twice in one day is my count.
not really, seeming as how it has something to do with the first comment.
doody, you’ve managed to portray yourself as an a$$hole in this thread, just stop being so defensive as if you were behaving in an acceptable manner.
Ahem.
*Holds out petiton*
I think you signed (or mabye just singed, not sure) this a long time ago! We do not talk to tr*lls.
*posts petition on large billboard*
*hands Bearly a shot o’ tequila*
*Licks salt*
*Downs shot*
*Bites lime*
Thanks, WN! Great pick-me-up for midday!
I didn’t sign, and I don’t wanna sign. I believe in rehabilitation!
*Pointedly ignores GV*
*hugs self and weeps in corner*
*tackles and sits on GV and forces him to sign petition*
SIGN IT!
*smacks GV wif a shellacked 34 pound Chinook Salmon*
Sign. It’s for the chilrun.
*heads on outta FB, post break*
LATERZ!!!
Help someone! The Failblog girls are being mean to me!
*snaps salmon out of air and swallows*
Mmmm shellacked salmon…
*Hears a voice calling “Help someone!*
*Looks around*
*Sees Leila sitting on an unknown dragon of some sort*
*Decides Leila is “someone”*
*Helps Leila sit on said dragon*
*thinks how easy it would be to throw two people sitting on him into the air and catch them in his mouth…*
*Finds petition on floor and burns it*
Apparently someone doesn’t know that the petition is indestructible.
*bites GV in the tail*
Hmmm…tastes good actually.
SIGN IT!!!
GV apparently doesn’t want to sign it. Forcing him to sign it will make you no better than the trolls.
Well, I’ll sign it. Some people (who shall remain unnamed) deserve to be ignored.
yes sir, gay-norvader
Stop it.
I would really rather not…
it’s just too much fun.
It’s people like you who make life hell for everyone else. You don’t belong here. Go away.
just stop it stop it stop it!
When your boyfriend pulls out, you’re a come-back.
Grow up.
sassy!
I’m not going to start calling names.
ok, that’s good to hear.
he read it in my new book : Retorts for Dummies
as you’re below the line, you’re a douchebag, right?
if you take the time to go over the thread, you’ll see somebody has already made a point out of that. and i did reply saying i should have thought about that.
A self-professed douchebag accusing others of being just like him/her!
More like IT. …and IT is on the rag as all trolls are.
Don’t address IT…
…and would be best to refer to HER (asshat) as SHE going forward.
(him) not really, i’m just…having a good time, like i said before.
Everyone
belowabove this line is a douchebag.There.
Gee… thanks BFF!
HAHAHAHAHA!
My pleasure. It was an oppurtunity I couldn’t miss!
I confused your ‘this line’ for your strikethrough.
It must still be too early. hehehe
and you’re still a douchebag
Ka-Bong!
You really need a new come-back.
doody really doesn’t need to come back.
*sends around pettition to shoot doody if he comes back*
you do realise, you’re above that line.
Did you know that he’s talking about your line?
I will have four please!
(anything to restore my long lost virtue)
*snork*
Ha! I am a non-practicing virgin myself.
Do you buy this at Virgin Megastores? Or do you have to go out to the Virgin Isles?
Via Virgin Atlantic? With the Virgin Mary?
I go vag…er Virginia.
Virgin Atlantic sell it in a bid to reduce the number of mile high club members!
I am a recycled virgin and thank you for the soap, so I shall remain.
*sits up proud*
I call foul!!! You’re a newly-wed!!!!
LIAR!!!
*gooses Ms B and flees*
I practice lots too!
I don’t think it works.
*continuously soaps up nuts*
Nope, it went off while I was cleaning it.
Virgin no more.
*snork* Don’t ‘cha hate it when that happens?
I usually hate it at least once a day. Dr’s orders.
it doesn’t work against cyber
Why is there a creepy Mexican guy on her forehead?
He looks a bit like Saddam.
It’s Bin Ladin.
WE FOUND HIM! WE FOUND HIM!
Was he in that cave? I told you!! I knew it.
In the ‘cave’? Well, it was a cavity of sorts…
Finally!
More importantly, why isn't there one on your forehead?Where do you suggest they put it?
*Get gold-gilded Touch Me sticker, places on Leila’s bottom*
Wow! I actually like it!!!! It’s just what my cheek needed.
*touches Leila’s cheek*
*runs back to tree*
That man may be Meher Baba, a Zoroastrian-born, Sufi-influenced spiritual teacher. But what he’s doing on this image is beyond to my over-educated ken.
.
“Virgin Soaps” are an actual (and some feel misogynist) product:
And why did YOU replace the “i” in vagina with a “!”? What’s wrong with the word vagina? It’s a body part, not a bad word!!!
Vagina vagina vagiiiiiiiina
i has 1, and it’s not bad.
That man may be Meher Baba, a Zoroastrian-born, Sufi-influenced spiritual teacher. But what he’s doing in this picture is beyond to my over-educated ken.
.
“Virgin Soaps” are an actual (and some feel misogynist) product:
Have they not heard of pelvic floor excersises?
Plus no woman I have ever met actually “enjoyed” her first time! need I say more!
I sure didn’t! I was like, what the f*ck just happened? I waited for … that?
Seriously, “That’s it?”
More like “Get the f*ck off me, it hurts… WAAAAHHHHH!”
I hear you sista jam. *squeeze*
*squeeze
Sista’s are doing it for themselves.
Hmmm. I must be among the lucky few women. I had a gentleman for the first time. He worked it pretty good, and things were nice. Of course, I still wouldn’t go back to the first time. Things get better with practice!
*looks at watch*
Uh oh, I’m late for practice!! Gotta run!
Practice may not make perfect – but it definitely can make it very, very good
Wait, this is the solution to the previous fail about that one woman asking for a solution on a loose-vaj!
*claps*
Is there an echo in here?
Don’t get me wrong. He was my first love and it wasn’t his first time. He knew what he was doing. I just felt a lot of pain and couldn’t concentrate on whatever pleasure there was supposed to be.
We got back together as adults and we made up for it. Teehee. We were … bad, bad, bad.
Sometimes love don’t feel like it should
Your bad, bad, bad makes it hurt so good
…and sooooo good it was.
I enjoyed it. The first three seconds after initial penetration was uncomfortable, but the experience was worth while and completely satisfactory. i do recall saying, “oh my god, don’t move”
hehehe…
Well, I’m not female so I didn’t have the attendant female potential issues… but all I did afterward was lay there and smile
And it gotten nothing but better ever since! WEEEEEEE!!!!!!
abstract, now you’re just bragging!!!
*smacks abstract on the head*
*steals her ‘first time’ memories*
*makes them her own*
Much better!!!!!
I will stick with kegels thank you very much.
I will stick with bagels thank you very much.
I will stick with navels thank you very much.
The dude with the mo’ looks pretty happy for some reason.
♪ Like a virgin.
Touched for the very first time! ♫
*touches Ms B for the first time*
touches Ms B for like the 20th time…. j/k
*squeeze*
♫ Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
I wanna be … um … purity ♫
♫ In just seven days (seven nights and seven inches) I can make you a maaaaan♫
that isn’t soap it is testosterone
still, it’s good for relieving my
tension
An ivory snow job, pure and simple.
Keep it clean people!
I don’t think that’s possible here.
Some of us have to climb up to the gutter.
Thats Sadam
HEY! Did Jesus have a virgin birth certifIcate?!?
I don’t think they had birth certificates back then.
Bastards.
^ there’s a legitimate LOL!
Darn! It only lasts for 24-hours.
This reminds me of a joke from a Jay Leno monolouge. Forgot how it exactly went, but this is somewhat close:
“Local purist organizations are holding events in bars in which men and their daughters go to talk about the ‘evils of pre-mariel sex’ and celebrate virginity. Well, I tell ya, if your daughter still goes with you to bars, you won’t have to worry about her losing it anytime soon!
*replaces ‘it’ in last sentence; replaces with virginity*
gonna have to agree with doody95 on this
doodoo is as doodoo does
Is that the same doodoo from yesterday whining about how he lost his brother and it was all a joke? If so, he is a bastard!!!!
I think we decided on asshat. Marius came up with a good name for him.
Asshat!!!
Fits perfectly.
It’s my first time admitting that I seriously do NOT like him.
boo hoo!
someone got up on the wrong side of the bed
Who’s the one calling everyone ‘douchebags?’
You can’t reason with stupidity.
Stupid is as stupid does.
touche.
You know you just proved Jermaine’s point?
no i just can’t be arsed to come up with another come-back
Case in point.
meeeeee
…Has anyone ever told you that you’re a moron?
thankyou
Touch her!
*glares @ eKitty*
Where have you been?
*purrs*
Huhu Leila.
I was hiding under your bed all the time.
Oh…don’t dissapear on me like that cuz I might have to get you nuetered.
*thwacks Leila*
We don’t neuter failfriends!!
And most of the trolls come that way (pre-neutered).
OW!!
Where is that written?
*opens FAILBlog Bylaws, book XVI, Chapter 12, Section 16, Paragraph 4*
FAILBlog users shall not remove the testicles from, or otherwise harm the reproductive organs of, other regular FAILBlog members. Trolls are excepted from this ruleOkay…okay!! But he keeps straying…what am I supposed to do?
this is a widely known product in Saudi Arabia. insists that women who use it are “restored” and will be more attractive to potential husbands or husbands that stray.
it’s actually really f*cked up.
Maybe it tightens them up?
Like Archie Bell & the Drells!
That’s pretty standard product advertisement. “Buy this body spray and women will fight to get your affection.” “Buy this facial cream and you’ll look like a super model.”
Just seems like the same noise with a different product and punchline.
the difference is that it feeds off cultural insecurities where a woman having pre-marital sex can literally destroy her life. it isn’t a product promising affection. it’s a product promising acceptance.
some brands actually say that it tightens vaginal muscles. there is nothing standard about that.
I misunderstood what you were saying and didn’t know that the product was advertising that! Whoops! Yeah, that’s pretty twisted… that’s one dirty soap.
wat ?
i’m from Saudi Arabia…
and there is no such thing as that !
“a soup that restores virginity”, yeah right!
the only wrong thing in that soup is the translation
it should have been the beauty soup or something closer to that !
this is a TRANSLATION FAIL ! LOL !
Soup, is good for the vagina!
Is it clam chowder soup?
*holds bowl out expectantly*
Nope Tuna!
Nevermind.
*pouts*
Wait, not she crab!?
SOAP serena SOAP!!!! Not soup. Who would wash their vaginas with soup???
Jeebusss!!!
Have you seen the internet!? I’ll bet I could find that particular fetish in less than ten minutes.
Two girls, one bowl?
i c u p
Why are you looking?
*RIGL*
*climbs out of minestrone*
*sidles off*
LMAO!!!
*snork!*
*pours minestrone out and makes another batch*
Hey! I was going to use the for my… well… my…
Never mind.
*swaps “that” for “the”*
*hopes nobody notices*
*points and laughs*
*smooooch!*
*squeeze and smooch*
Thanks for ruining my lunch plans, folks. Somebody owes me a burger now.
How about a grill cheese?
Or bratwurst?
You object to having a grilled cheese at lunch? I’d assume that most people would think that’s a pretty good way to spend your break – as long as you are being served, not serving!
Your grilled cheese sandwhich is served, Bearly!
*can’t believe he just posted that*
*realizes how tired he really is*
…ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
Brewski, are you still feeling ill?
Hi Bearly!
*squeeze*
I generally am up 1am to 5am or so every night. It’s catching up with me!
I need to tolerate a few more days so they can do some lab tests. Most likely I’ll need some antibiotics.
How’s Bearly today?
Get the penicillin shot!!!
*SQUEEZE*
It’s Friday! *Does the happy dance*
I’m actually really happy – I’m dogsitting for a coworker this weekend, and I miss having a puppy of my own, so I get paid to lease an adorable dalmation who loves me. Does it get any better?
I will gladly volunteer to give it to you in the ass Brewski!!
*dusts off old 6th grade sex-ed textbook*
Hmmm… OK, I still don’t understand how that works!
We’ll go get steaks together, Judy dear!
*offers Judy a veggie burger*
Yes?
Sorry, sweets, I’m going to have to go with Ms B and the steaks! But here’s a *squeeze* of thanks, anyway!
I’ll have the veggie burger, thanks!
Are you vegan or can you have a little bit of cheese?
Just vegetarian. I also eat eggs, but don’t really like them unless they’re in something. Say… cake?
*Pulls angel food cake with funfetti frosting from enormous picnic basket*
Now, all of you eat up. You could all use a little angel food!
Me too. I have issues with egg yolks. I don’t mind them in cake or anything else.
I understand completely.
*squeeze*
*secretly sneaks away to check on Patrica the calf ♀ – safe and sound*
*pops back in room*
I still love that blue on you!!
Don’t worry, Patrica is safe. Why don’t you bring your veggie burgers along and join us?
Yay!!
*brings veggie burgers, portabella mushrooms and a variety of vegetables for grilling*
*borrows some of the mushrooms to put on steak*
Yummy! Thanks, Leila!
Grilled corn on the cob! That will go great with the steaks.
Thanks for the invite Judy. I’ll have a steak as well, and I whipped up some chimichurri sauce for the steaks and mushrooms.
*Sighs contentedly as the FailBlog chefs get to work*
Sowwy!
But I went nowhere near the leek and potato!
No fair! Catching up on this thread made me seriously hungry, and I’ve got at least 40 min. to lunch.
Obviously the FailBlog Diet is not working as intended for you!
You, too, Scott. Join Ms B, Leila and I. Steaks and veggie burgers. Just. No. Soup. Please.
no offense but you guys are so weird. do you wait in front of the computer to reply to each other and put your actions in asterisks?
im not trying to piss anyone off, i just am so confused.
actions do get asterisks mostly
and sometimes, yes, conversations are on-going — and you can see who has commented recently over to the right in the (oh so cleverly named) “Recent Comments” box
(it’s a little like a “chat room” of comments)
no offense but you are so weird. *goes to bed*
*lols, removes breakers to effect blackout, joins dilettante*
*snuggles in*
although, baby, conversations are on-going — and you can do interesting things involving a box…
K goodnight!
Concentrated virginity is made of skin-whitening vanilla extracts? Hmph… that theory of concentrated virginity having to do with social awkwardness is crazy talk at this point. The soap is not a lie…
Soooo, a vanilla milkshake is liquid virginity?
*feels slightly disturbed*
I have been enjoying vanilla milkshakes a lot lately… *thinks this explains all too much*
*makes mental note to remove anything with the remotest hint of vanilla from the house*
You’ve got rejuvenated pods?
What about the stalk?
Too much peaness.
I feel shafted…
♪Who’s the black private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks?♫
ROFL!!!
Is it weird that I think she looks like JonBenet Ramsey?
…Yeah, I guess that IS weird.
Brad Carter helped kidnap and murder her!
Brad Carter, Richard Cardo…I smell an alias
24 hour action? so if you use it every day do you have to go through the whole rigmarole every time?
*thinks back to loss of virginity*
*shudders*
count me out!
*thinks back to loss of virginity*
Count me in!
*thinks back to loss of virginity*
Did you really had to remember me?
Count me out too.
Skratdaddy…men/boys experience the first time differently than we do I guess. It’s not like you are tearing to pieces and bleeding and having to deal with the physical and emotional aftermath…
I was stoned, smiling, and listening to Led Zepplin.
*squeezes Leila and the other FB ladies*
Sorry, yours wasn’t as comfortable.
You were stoned your first time? How did you ever even get it up?
It’s always up on a 16 year old boy, stoned or not.
Who would have sex @ 16???? Gah!
Bah, count me out, I literally kicked him out of my house. I was very disappointed.
Actually, something like 1/3 of people have sex before exiting high school, so alot of people would have sex @ 16.
Halifax…it was a rhetorical question. LOL
I am no prude but I waited.
Wished I kept waiting for my current honey. If only had a magic ball to foresee the future. 
*is glad current isn’t the one who got the “Get the hell away from me! WTF! that hurt! seriously, get away from me…NOW”* I tend to get mean when I’m hurt.
Well, life is like a box of chocolates…
You bite in the wrong place and you end up with a real mess?
It’s hard to resist the cherry?
I was only asking what Starfish meant! Sheesh!
many people would, sadly. It’s not quite as sacred to the new generation. Some are going at 13 or 14 too. traditional values are taught less and less these days
Stoned as in smoked some herb. No problem getting it up stoned. Now too much Patron…Different story without a happy ending.
This is weird, Skrad, but that sounds like my first ti…OH MY GAWD!!!! THAT WAS YOU???
Heyyyyy, you look familiar…
Hmmmm, so do you. Did it happen in your parents’ basement? Did you have a blacklight on? Was incense burning? Did you cry when it was over?
*thinks back to loss of virginity too*
No, I can be drunk and awkward without this soap, thank you. Count me out.
Wow Jimbo, that sounds incredibly familiar. I could do without the nervousness as well. It certainly wasn’t a highlight of my youth.
It may be different for others, but I know lots of guys who don’t want to go back to that time either.
You should have tried it stoned, like Skratdaddy.
No kidding!
I was obviously doing something wrong.:oops:
*passes joint to Scott*
Here go try that again.
Thanks Skrat. It wasn’t anything more hands on experience didn’t fix in the many years since.
*puff, puff, pass*
*takes a mallet and smacks both Scott and Skratdaddy*
What in hell do you two think you’re doing????
What really makes the fail awesome is the holographic seal of approval from the guy with the mustache. Even trying to account for cultural differences, there’s just no way to juxtapose that with the girl in the picture without it getting creepy. The name of the soap just amps that up even worse.
except for me
It’s too late for that.
yeh i should of thought about that, lol!
thought does not suit you
Alright everyone, I brought in assorted baked goods in the breakroom. Please enjoy! For anyone interested, there’s also veggies with a homemade dill dip. There’s chips with a variety of dips as well.
ENJOY!
Thanks Ms B, I’m starved this morning!
I just made some some iced coffee if anyone needs a beverage, help yourself!
*noms veggies with dip* Thank you Ms B!! Just what I needed today.
Um…is the Cuddle Puddle going to open today?
*
misses mr cuddles*
It’s almost noon on the east coast, I say we start drinking.
*backs in “Starfish’s Mobile Bar and Brewpub*
The bar is open, help yourselves. The live band is on its way.
I guess that’s better than a dead band.
I don’t know. ZA and his horde put on a pretty good show!
Hi Starfish! Thanks!
*grabs a beer*
*hopes he can stay awake long enough to finish it*
*joins everybody in the breakroom for cookies and iced coffee*
*squeezes everybody*
I will try a mai tai here since the one IRL didn’t work out so well.
LOL!
and you know all about me do you?
Everyone here can make reasonable guesses based on how you’re acting.
i’m just having a good time
At the expense of others?
pretty much
Why?
Because he have ballz …in is mouth, each night and he’s felling bad about it so he turn himself in a super douche.
This is the new Jonas Brothers project?
What, make an album worse than their other ones combined?
I don’t know what’s creepier, the dude’s face on that sticker on her forward, or the words “touch me, please” above the words “virginity soap.”
tempted much?
I don’t know what’s creepier, the dude’s face on that sticker on her forward, or the words “touch me, please” above the words “virginity soap.”
Or you asking about being tempted much?
A virgin good for 24 hour action? I’ll beleive that when I see it.
In other news, a piece of cheese thought to be lost in space has been safely recovered.
(clicky)
The moon really is made of swiss?
Just hundreds of swiss people all tied together into a gigantic ball?
With twine.
And a biscuit.
OOO, ok, i’m game if there’s a biscuit!
Yes GV, but you have to let them age too.
Mmmm, I do enjoy the odd aged Swiss person, a bit rich for everyday consumption though.
Everything in moderation.
NOOOOOOOO! I hate being in moderation!
*Indulges GV*
in·dulge (n-dlj)
v. in·dulged, in·dulg·ing, in·dulg·es
v.tr.
1. To yield to the desires and whims of, especially to an excessive degree; humor.
2.
a. To yield to; gratify: indulge a craving for chocolate.
b. To allow (oneself) unrestrained gratification: indulged herself with idle daydreams. See Synonyms at pamper.
Besides which, excess in some things is a whole lot more fun
And on that note, I’ll be leaving also for the next 10 days. Yay vaca!
Enjoy yourself, we’ll miss you!
I will be back soon, and you can still reach me on the other, evil fb GV.
Have fun WIK – I bemember vacations!!
Play hard!
Yay for evil FB!
WN, were you trying to say you dismember vacations?
Nah – I just vaguely recall them – been a lotta years since a real one.
Sigh…
Eat some good stuff for me! (just not squirrel)
Thank Goodness it was recovered – we can’t have rogue space cheese running around.
*squeeze and sniff*
Does space cheese taste better than earth cheese?
*ponders*
Depends on how you cut it.
HURRAH!!!
Let’s cut the cheese!!!!
Well Failpeeps I am leaving for a 5 day vacation.(keep the cheers down).For the first time in 5 years.
I will be taking as all the bad trolls like people with me. Please send them down to Goderich.
Please all stay well, smile, laugh,and gives squeezes to all who come on here, you just never know who might stay and be “it”.
*squeeze*
Have a fantastic time!!!!
*TAG*
You’re IT!
Have a nice vacation 5eags!
Have fun all of you!
Well, g’nite all!
touch me!
I don’t see any fail here. You are all retarded.
I believe it’s the name. “Virginity Soap”.
I didn’t find it very funny, just a little strange. Probably belongs in the Engrish section.
I do deny them my essence.
This should be on EngrishFunny instead.
Is that Stalin on the box?
Am I the only one who LOL’d at the “Touch me!” at the top of the box?
That was the actual joke I think
Anyone else notice the little Saddam Hussein sticker?
test
test
test
“Wash that pre-marital sex away with just one application!”
test
Supertest
Ultratest
Megatest
Hiperultrasupermegatest.
Hi Il Tifossi I’m your alter ego how’re you doin!
I love you!
Comments on failblog are really ALWAYS very special.
Saddam virginity win
shouldn’t her face be covered? and when did skin whitening become the new tan?
Dude, if I give it to my girlfriend, who had already lost her celibacy, can her virginity come back?!
does the virginity soap work on pregnant women too?
hmmm…
Is that a Sadam Hussien sticker??
yes it is a Sadam Hussien hologram
Who’s the mustachioed man stamped on her forehead?!?!
that soap’s a tease
that woman doesn’t look like she needs her skin lightened at all?
Oh, wait, no… it’s racist soap!
Ew. Why would someone use it after a bunch of strangers have touched it?
Is that sadaam in the hologram…? CREEPY.
Saddam, rather
soap instead of hymen replacement!
Umm……. sorry to burst her bubble but I don’t think thats vanilla
The sticker on her head looks like borat lol
“TOUCH ME!”
“virginity soap”
soap with pherohormones for the imensely desperate fat teenage girl
*passes pettition to ban fat girls*
I saw this soap in turkey
btw i dont bought it 
So what does it do exactly? LOL make you a virgin? … or prevents you from having sex?
And it’s Borat approved!
<pre/ lol
has anyone noticed borat’s face is on the sticker?
Lol i guess they shouldn’t have used google translate to right that