Dear Failers,
After writing our very first open thread, where I admitted got a little too touchy, I feel that we have redeemed ourselves by taking someone to the shed for a beating.
So I am following up with this request for a new project we’re working on at Emails From Crazy People.com (beta):
Send us emails from crazy people to emailsfromcrazypeople@gmail.com.
We’ll also accept screenshots, letters, status updates, forum threads, etc. And we’ll remove any names and contact info, so don’t worry.
Here are some superb examples:
Don’t fail us now, Failers.
- The FAIL Team
What?
What part didn’t you understand? Stop shining your nuts and pay attention!!!!
cough!
someone needs to show him how to get off properly.
You just rub your nuts…
*rubs nuts*
Hold on tight
*holds on tight*
Then let go!!!!!
*Let’s gooooo!!!*
*picks up slightly used ShamWow and cleans up*
There I think I got it.
Sorry Leila, I was a little distracted. I am better now.
we forward emails we got frum crzy ppl to them
Does that include all those emails Sarah Palin put on her personal Yahoo! account?
I am not crazy.
*secretly forwards Leila’s emails anyway*
*changes email password to 123abc to prevent further infractions*
*tries the ‘recall message’ function for all emails sent since 1997*
*puts feet on ottoman and relaxes*
*hacks into Leila’s email account*
*sends DW a crazy email*
Ooo!
*forwards crazy email to new site*
Glad to be of assistance.
Oh, I wish I still had some email from a crazy coworker. The guy was always telling little lies to cover his ass. As his supervisor, I had no choice but to call him on it because it was going to cost him his job if he didn’t stop. Instead of learning from it, he launched into a wild passive-aggressive campaign to try and get me fired. Some of the things he said and did would have been HIGH-larious if I had read about them happening to someone else. To protect myself, I had to reduce my communication with him to just the working minimum at the suggestion of my superior. The crazy guy wrote in an email that I was causing him mental injury through isolation!
I have a good voicemail that’s been saved for a few years. You get to see and hear some crazy stuff in HR!
Did anyone have the co-worker or friend who couldn’t tell the difference between white and Caucasian? Those guys actually make me feel sorry for them. And also, Admiral Apparent, some people just have this issue with authority that they have had since they were in school and will keep forever. Good on ya’ though for trying to be a good person!
He doesn’t have to try. He just is.
What happened to him AA.
Everyone of you FB ers is a Rebel.
I guess that is what makes you fail peeps stand out.
My hat off to you all.
…piece of shit rusting swing set that looks like it came from condemned Soviet school yard.
*SNORKITY!! SNORK!!!*
Wait, is a kilometer less than a meter?
Oh, here’s that ten bucks I owe you from last week, Brewski.
*gives Brewski a drawing of a spider with seven legs*
*SNORK!*
*gasp*
DW — I think you have overpaid. Wasn’t that drawing worth $233 and change?
The original was.
Yah…this one was done in orange crayon. But it has little glitter clouds!
Um…let’s see *pulling from my old schooling*, there are 1000 meters in a kilometer so to answer your question…
Yes it is.
No it’s not.
Maybe.
Please state your question more clearly and do not challenge my authority no matter how right you are.
I believe the world needs more teachers who can demonstrate a complete lack of respect for reality.
Wait, what? Why would you think I would be a good teacher?
I had plenty of teachers who lost all touch with reality. In fact, almost exactly the same thing happened to me when I proved my teacher wrong during a lesson on perspective. She didn’t write a note to my parents but it sure changed my perspective when she was a total b*tch to me after that.
If I was that kid’s parent I would refuse the detention. I sure as **** don’t want any of my kids blindly accepting what anyone tells them.
reminds me of when I was in school…. got a after school when I smashed someone’s head against a door multiple times (He’d been bulling me all year) and my Mother came down at the end of school and told the principle that I was now going home! She couldn’t see why I should have been punished for self defence (maybe a bit over done but never mind) and ending the bulling that the teachers had failed to end all year
Um…yeah. Yeah, this is JUST like that.
so she gave you lesson on perspective
depends on the unit of measure… are you using one of those click click click things?
Oh, memories!
Back when I was a poor uni student, I used to click-click in my pocket while I did the shopping.
Then you could avoid embarassment at the checkout when you couldn’t pay.
Is a meter less than a metre?
Only if you are trying to play the french horn.
Damnit!
Ehh… A MILE is more than a kilometer. Kid is right, teacher is dumb. Kthxbai.
After describing the yard, followed by the parking lot, the dumpster, the abandoned trailer and finally the gas station, I couldn’t help but think how much it sounded like Douglas Adams!
That one from the teacher almost killed me! I have had teachers like that before and lemme tell ya, they suck!
Dear Teacher, I challenge your authority because you are a moron. Easy as that.
They’re even less receptive to contradiction at the college level.
‘Those who can’t do teach. Those who can’t teach, teach gym.’
Woody Allen
My gym teacher had even less reception to a contraceptive.
In one of the geography rooms at my school there was a small map of America painted onto a wall, it didn’t name any states, it just showed where the borders were, and thus the locations of each state. One particularly boring revision session I looked up at it and started counting, 1, 2, 3….. 48, 49… Huh? I counted again, and again, and there were only 49 states on that map. I later questioned a geography teacher about it, she counted, went into deep hazy thought for a minute while staring between it and her atlas, then looked up and said: “Oh, Canada’s missing!”
100% true. :S
So close. She probably meant that huge, cold state ATTACHED to canada.
Greenland?
Very good, hammykins!
*Hands hammykins a gold star*
Yeah, that’s the one. *rolls eyes*
You’ll love this one. Niece #3 was in seventh grade. Her Social Studies (or some such) class was supposed to be studying Samurai. What movie does the teacher show to aid in this learning experience? Mulan. I kid you not. The niece, Marlee, pointed out that Mulan was Chinese and the Samurai were Japanese. Response? Close enough.
I couldn’t make this crap up.
My little sister had similar experiences with her Social Studies teacher in Jr. High. When she protested the teacher failed her. Apparently she “lost” all her assignments. What assignments?! They watched movies like Anastasia all semester!
It’s a Robert Ripley story. Believe it or not.
Social Studies is something that is seriously lacking in school. At least when I was in school Disney movies weren’t a substitution for textbooks.
On the flipside, my SS teacher in Grade Nine got in serious trouble for teaching about evolution because it “wasn’t proven”. And I’m only 22, so this wasn’t that long ago.
Mrs. B, was that junior high Meadowdale Middle? The Mulan bit was only one of a year long series of her mailing in her “lesson”. This one didn’t retaliate though. She apparently didn’t give a damn about anything.
*had a geography teacher freshman year of high school that would flunk you if you couldn’t spell his last name*
It was Vogelsmier.
I think. It’s been a while, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it right.
The Mrs. Mac that I mentioned around here someplace would only let you call her Mrs. Mac if you could spell here name. You had all year to get it right.
Ha!
*Flunks Avis*
I call fowl!!
*is of german heritage, knows how to spell it*
*or at least tried REALLY hard*
Well, I have no Idea what I’m talkin about anyway.
*Hands Avis a Gold Star*
i no hough too spel it az whel Avis. I-T.
It sounded like “VOGELS-my-er” not “vogelsMEER”.
It sure sounds like the same SS teacher, Coyote. Unfortunately, this was Kearns Jr. High. Same school where I got in an argument with the principal regarding high school credits.
I once failed a science test because my teacher said I “got all the answers wrong”. It was a logic puzzle test…you know, with little stories and you have to figure out the missing information. Well, the teacher didn’t give enough actual information in any of the questions, and my father had to come down to the school and explain to my teacher how, given the information given, every one of my answers was in fact correct–or at least a possibility. The teacher ended up throwing that test out.
It’s good to have logical relations.
You can see Russia from it!!!
You betcha!
Pew pew!
And Abraham Lincoln led America to victory over Japan in WWI.
I once got in trouble in the third grade because I told my teacher that “The Arctic” was not a continent, as she claimed it was.
*rofl!*
You should have tried to sell her some land up there, then. She could chum around with St Nick.
I would think that teachers would be HAPPY when a student can point out stuff like that! It’s proof the kid is learning!
…and let their poor little egos get bruised in silence? No way.
I grew up with a teacher. He said a few times that if you could prove him wrong, do it. It made his students work harder and actually learn the subjects because they wanted bragging rights. And NONE of them caught on!
Sad.
He had some really bright students.
.
.
.
Some.
That’s a great strategy, really. I always encourage my students to voice their ideas…especially if they disagree with mine. It’s resulted in some really interesting discussions.
At the risk of DW sneering at me I once gave a smart -a$$ answer on a literature essay.
The question asked “What the author’s intention when he wrote (XYZ). I answered “To make his deadline.”
Let’s just say I have never seen so much RED on a test before.
You think I’d sneer at you?
Well, I certainly hope I wouldn’t get a foom for smarting off to a teacher.
… you never had Senora Suprinuk for Spanish.
Personally, I think an answer like that would make DW laugh.
You can get a pretty good result from disagreeing with a jr high principal. It was rather entertaining, so I’m told…
I had a great Spanish teacher. He was one of those that had the textbook full of Spanish cuss-words. I memory-pooped his name, though. (BTW, is it trolling if someone accuses you of trolling but then won’t let up on how much of an inexcusable retard you are?)
♫ Ban me two times girl! One for tomorrow, one just for today! ♫
I did that to my Honours English teacher in Grade Ten. After a lengthy description of what an “expository essay” is (being an essay that explained something using facts), she gave us a selection of three topics to write about: 1) The most useful thing I purchased lately; 2) What my favourite food is and why; or 3) Why my grandparents are cool. Besides the fact that these topics are more suited to Second Grade than Tenth, they are all opinion based. So I wrote and submitted a lengthy, fact-based essay on why the topics we were given were inappropriate. I was forced to rewrite, using the grandparents topic.
I’m told I write a good essay when given a prompt, but give me the “Write what you wanna” option and my mind goes blank.
That’s awesome, Chanidividus.
)
.
(Sounds like your teacher could have benefited from a “suppository assay.”
I would be asstronomically pissed if that happened to me.
.
(Hey fuzz! I’m sorry I called you a villian. I’d never seen you before and you just showed up so suddenly talking all mastermindedly [<--ignore that.] that the only thing I could think of was Giant swivel chair, monocle, and a cat.)
When in college, I and my classmates were assigned to design a pager for five-year olds (this was in the mid ninties). I didn’t think five-year olds needed pagers so I came up with gun designs, cigarette pack designs and an apron with ten foot apron strings that had a regular pager attached to the end. The head of the department ROARED with laughter. My instructor however, told me that if I didn’t take the project seriously he’d flunk me. So I made a heart-shaped thing painted it pink and wrote “Barbie” across it. Idiot gave me an “A”. I was angry about that. Still am.
I gave a similar answer to my tenth grade teacher.
Q: What was the writers purpose in writing this book?
A: To make money.
Response: Besides that.
She had probably heard that answer a dozen times before. Mrs. Mac was the type that you could give a jesting answer to and not get ground under her heal. She was great. She is the one that got me to join the tutoring club to help grade school students. The thin end of the becoming a teacher wedge.
Here’s to you Mrs. Helen MacGilvra. One of the best and the most influential teacher for any number of us.
Thanks.
I seemed to have digressed a bit. She deserves a tribute some where.
Ninth Grade English was just as bad. The teacher used to spell things wrong on the board all the time, and got mad when I would correct her. I got revenge. We had an assignment that involved writing a short story based on an opening sentence prompt, and then once they were graded, to read them aloud to the rest of the class. My story was so graphic in nature, she actually threw up while reading it. I only got a B on it, too, because she said “alleviated” wasn’t a word and suggested “elevated” as a substitution. Stupid woman.
My stupid teacher was a social studies teacher in ninth grade. We were doing a debate about trees. Or something like that. I don’t remember all of it. Anyway, I was debating about how we build the tree population back up. I used Arbor Day in my argument. In my grading she told me that Arbor Day had nothing to do with trees. :rolls: How do these people become teachers?!
Had a bit of a weak stomach did she? Mind as well, it appears.
I will admit, I made it far more gruesome than was strictly necessary, but still…
I don’t know exactly how these people become teachers. Although my mom shared a horrifying story with me… She was in a restaurant, when one of the waitresses, a girl in her early twenties, ran up to a patron at a near table and shouted, “Mr. Soandso! I was in yer class! It was the thing what inspired me! Guess what I’m being?! I’m being a teacher! Like you!”
*Shudders thinking that this girl could some day be left alone to educate children*
Guess what I’m being? Did her former teacher die of apoplexy? Because I might.
I had only one memorably bad teacher going through the US public school system, but I can recall a dozen outstanding educators.
I would hope that at the very least, he was deeply embarrassed. Especially if he was her English teacher.
I don’t recall having any real stinkers. Mediocre maybe. But not crappy. Could be selective amnesia.
I only had three outstanding teachers, as far as I can remember. My Physics AP teacher all through highschool, my Chem AP teacher, and my English 12 AP teacher. All wonderful, inspiring, supportive educators. All retired the year after I was done. I had a slew of bad ones though.
I had some truly outstanding teachers. Mostly English, funny enough. I did have a history teacher that was fantastic. The first day of 10th grade she made sure to tell us that she was going to get rid of the gunk running through our veins and make us think. And she did.
Memorable teachers (in a good way) include my third and fourth grade teacher, my father, an art history prof, (dear god was she awesome), and an “american history – civil war to the present” instructor. That last was also the mayor of Kirkwood MO at the time. He had a FANTASTIC sense of humor. So much so, he’d be revered here.
I had so many fabulous teachers in high school. I went to a college prep school. But I have to say, my most memorable teacher was my 5th grade music teacher, Miss Goggins (later Mrs. Selke). I loved her so much…we had a wonderful year. She was laid off that year and wasn’t coming back for my 6th grade year, and I cried the day she came and said goodbye to me.
Another great teacher from high school. Dr. Nugent. He had just got his doctorate in philosophy. For his history class we had philosophy. For Latin we had philosophy. Believe it or not for philosophy we had philosophy. The Great Books, four causes, and the five areas of human activity. It was great.
Actually, my 9th grade gym teacher was one of my favourites. Which is weird, because I don’t like gym (I only took it because it was required.) He always made the class laugh, which really eased the tension when teaching health (such as sex ed). He was really easy to get along with.
I got my 9th grade gym teacher in trouble for running his hand up my arm in class one day.
*shudders*
NOT my favorite teacher.
(And…I hope you all don’t mind my saying this, but I am completely loving hearing all these stories. Thanks for telling them. *squeezes* )
I had some excellent high school teachers, too. One that comes to mind right now is an AP History teacher. I wasn’t particularly interested in the subject, but I was always attentive and drawn into the discussions. He was also the only teacher in the school with a Ph.D. The class used to joke that he had a hotline to the president because his classroom was the only one that had a phone. He would also regularly disappear mysteriously for a week or two. Anyway, he saw something in me that I didn’t see and suggested that I get involved in politics or law. When I cracked a joke, he would jokingly ask me to stay after class, which I sometimes did, just to finish a discussion from class.
He had a tradition for each new grade 9 class. The first person to mention the word “pen!s” (is that a moderated word?) during the sex ed unit would be referred to, for the rest of the unit, only as “pen!sboy” (it being an all male class).
There was one like that at my high school like that as well DW. Only he was feeling up the boys. He didn’t get in trouble. He “took early retirement”. This was the seventies and such things just weren’t broadcast.
That’s awesome.
I had the same teacher for English AP 12 and Lit 12, and he was great. But a little odd. He told us first day of classes that he was “God in his classroom”, and nothing else mattered. Although he expected us to form opinions and challenge him at every turn. He used to just wander out of class midsentence, midlecture and be gone for twenty or more minutes at a time. We could hear him continue lecturing as he walked down the hall, fading away, and know that there was something imperative he was saying that would be on an exam. Also, I’m certain there aren’t nearly as many phallic references in classic literature as he insisted there were. Green field? Phallic metaphor. Scissors? What do they look like when dangled by handle? That’s right! Phallic symbol (actually true in the case of “The Rape of The Lock”). Tower? Looks like a pen!s. Gotta be! It was hilarious. Every single piece of literature we read was just packed with phallic imagery we would never have caught on our own.
Oops! Being moderated for the “I” word. But when it comes up, please be clear that the “That’s awesome” at the start was in response to the happy tales of good memories of school, and not the tales of debauchery that will precede my comment when it appears…
*snork*
I mean…duly noted.
Teehee… Yeah, I just didn’t want that to be misconstrued.
I almost couldn’t figure out why I was moderated. Its sneaky, that “I” word.
My very favorate teacher taught us how to break words down into prefixes, roots, etc. It is so empowering to know how words are put together.
I had quite a few memorable teachers in high-school. Considering I took all the academic classes the teachers were much happier to have us there, after witnessing their applied classes. Never forget one of my philosophy teachers sayings. He said I will not be teaching you this year. We asked why he said because he doesn’t like to be like every other teacher filling our head with knowledge.
*All give him a puzzled look*
He asked us to tilt our heads and watch as all what other teachers have taught us flow out. He told us we would teach ourselves. Because if it grew within our minds it would remain rooted within us. He was right, and one of the main reasons I enjoy philosophy.
I must have gone to the most boring school ever, so no stories from me. (No, it was not Goodenough college.)
♫ I was smoking with the boys upstairs
When I heard about the whole affair
I said, “Oh no
William and Mary wont do.” ♫
O, I’m never going back, trust me.
The first quarter that I was a student teacher (I was 19) at the campus preschool a four year old said that teeth had blood vessels. I, and every other adult, said nope, teeth don’t bleed. Broke out my Gray’s Anatomy to show him. He was right. You never saw such a tickled and proud kid in your life.
That is just plain cute!
That is the coolest mini-man I have never met.
Good for him that he didn’t buy the adults’ pulp fiction.
He was too inexperienced to read even simple stories, let alone cheap paperbacks admiral.
I bet he was familiar with fairy tales.
Kids are pretty sharp.
The way I see it, everyone learns most of their basic science from the likes of Bill Nye and Miss Frizzle. Most teachers haven’t seen them in a long time, so they get rusty, but this stuff is still fresh in children’s minds.
Miss Frizzle? I missed her. Mr Science was closer to my generation.
I remember Mr. Wizard. But that might have been a local thing.
At my school it was all about the Bill Nye. Totally awesome!
Beakman’s World, though fronted by an actor and not a scientist, taught science better than Bill Nye’s show, I thought.
I always wondered what that damn bus would turn into the next time, but everything they taught on there was still retained by me.
But Bill Nye had such a great song.
I forgot about him! Watched him too.
You’d think so…
In grade 4 I was in a 4/5 split class. While the 4s were doing the assigned math work, our teacher would teach an advanced lesson to the 5s. When he asked a question, none of the 5s would answer, so I tried to raise my hand. The teacher just told me to stick to my work and stop listening to the grad 5s’ lesson.
*makes note of DW’s insolence from 3rd grade*
I suppose the Arctic is an “Anti” continent.
I suppose the teacher was incontinent.
I got called a b*stard by my teacher for taking his instructions literally, he laughed though.
*takes the Moomin’s instructions*
*feels bad, so gives them back*
*SQUEEEEEEEZE!*
It was all thanks to Ben Franklin’s awesome plan.
What? You mean when Charleton Heston led us to voctory at Midway?
*mashes o into tiny little pieces*
*replaces with i*
um, whut about that charlatan “e”?
Grrr….
*breaks e into little pieces*
*throws them at venus*
HEY!!!
*ducks*
Quit littering up my half-shell!
Oops, sorry!
*picks up e pieces*
*throws them at mars instead*
Oooh…now you’ve done it. He has a temper…and lots of really sharp, really heavy weapons.
I’ll just have to stop and ask my buddy Vulcan for help. He has a beef with Mars anyways.
v is for Voctory!!
Have you seen Churchill: The Hollywood Years? It tells the true story that Churchill was actually an American GI that took on Hitler by himself.
I apparently regularly corrected my teacher’s grammar when I was in kindergarten.
Years and years later, when I was in a choir in college, we had a teacher’s assistant who was a MORON. We were singing a Mozart piece, and this nimrod told us he wanted to change some of the notes so they would “sound better.” I ever-so-gently pointed out that Mozart might have been a better judge of such things, and suggested that we not re-write the piece. I believe the TA complained to the professor about my attitude — then came back to class and told us we would be leaving the music as Mozart had written it.
Mr. TA Man was NOT a fan of mine after that.
*is a total fan of nightshayde*
I had a history teacher just like that in sixth grade. He called my parents in for a conference and said I was “disrupting the classroom” by correcting him when he was wrong. This went on for an entire semester.
That was an epically long conference.
*snork!*
*fart*
))<33
open a window!
Did someone forget to put the children to bed today?
Throws blanket over Tofu to make a ‘dutch oven’.
My oldest had the same experience with Freshman Honors History… something about Nubians and Namibia… teacher quit after the year was over.
I think the teacher I had lasted a couple more years, but he quit too. He was too high strung to be a teacher.
Some people simply are better equipped to walk with a shovel behind a horse. Sad but true.
We had a teacher in our high school who was fired after some students with fake ID’s saw her stripping on amateur night at a local club, and told their parents. Not that there’s anything wrong with strippers, but they shouldn’t be educating the youth of the world.
We used to tease our high school English teachers about being cage dancers at one of the local clubs. They took in stride. I had great English teachers! No complaints here about them!
I’d like to know how one could be voted Class Reunion Prez, when one was expelled!
Gail has all the answers Avis.
But not a clue to be found.
Poor Gail.
Do you think that maybe she is senile?
From class of two thousand and something? Senile? Not so much. Too many drugs? Possibly.
I was reaching just to make an excuse for her. I failed.
*gasp*
You’ve failed us now!
My guess is Gail was either planning a cruel joke, or was as ditzy as they come.
She could have been kept back once or twice for failing years.
no idea, but I am sure Gail is female.
Either that or she is a very strange mail indeed.
a hemail
LOL
“Don’t fail us now, Failers.
- The FAIL Team”
But I like to fail
Are you saying they are asking for the impossible?
We like you’re failing too
I like your failing.
I like your flailing.
Yay, another site for me to waste time on everyday! I already look at textsfromlastnight every single day….. Do you guys think I can have my laptop surgically grafted to my head?
Technology is a little behind, so…
*takes a nail gun and nails laptop to Jimbo’s head*
The headache will go away in a little while. Here’s a pack of shamwows, you are making a bloody mess.
Hey! You put it on the top! Now I can’t see it…. Oh well, you hit the vision center of my brain anyways……
Then your head could send material to emailsfromcrazypeople(AT)gmail.com nonstop!!
I would like to thank the Powers That Be for giving us a bonus post to comment on, as well as the new site!
Oh yes.
*in the cutest voice possible*
Thank you FB for the bonus post and also for giving us the smileys back.
Wheeeeeeeee!
WoooooooHoooooooo!!!!!!
♫ Thank you Failblog ♫
Respect my authoritah!
Never!!!
It’s your realitah that’s got me worried.
your realitah is messing with my karmikita.
Your karmikita is messing with my authoritah!
It ask for a response on the bottom does that mean we send one or we respond to it?
Yes.
Yes times two or one?
Yes.
Avis – I have really missed you – between the weekend and me partying it up Mon-Wed.
*squeeze*
Aww! Thank you!!
*return squeeze!*
But first you have to chant the proper incantation and annoint yourself with the blood of 50 virgin chickens.
Meegwetch saawsa enioaa attoo gizza ahho
babakwaa gaa seena suthna wass nibbi niinnii
meegwetch kinna sayya tonnena
*kills and eats fifty french fries instead of killing babakwaa(chickens)*
There all done.
Were those french fries sacrificed on an altar? It’s no good if they’re not sacrificed on an altar!
Oh crap.
Did anyone look through the other emails? Particularly the one about pets in the apartment?
By the time I got to “They are very small ducks”, I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face.
I had people staring at me from the time he said he was soundproofing his apartment for feeding time. The best part was the responses though. How would you not catch on to that?
I figured someone would have beat me to commenting on that one. I got some attention here at work reading that, I busted up a few times. Helen is amazingly gullible.
That looks like the work of the Moomin.
Oh. My. Gawd. I bet it’s him!
I see it. Genius, pure genius.
this is dangerously close to passiveaggressivenotes.com
i was right. ive seen the dimitri/olga voicemail on passiveaggressivenotes before.
I’m glad you noticed, too. I was starting to think I had gone mad.
Mutiny!
*sends Maggle’s emails to emails.from.starting.to.think.they.have.gone.mad.people.AT.gmail.com*
*submits all comments on FB*
I look forward to reading the one that says “*submits all comments on FB*” … (as well as the one that says “I look forward to reading the one that says ‘*submits all comments on FB*’…”)
I look forward to the ones that when you look backwards at them you realize there was some self referencing going on.
oh man … that will have taken my ass back …
failblog.org/2008/10/02/changing-room-fail/#comment-121745
*Head asplodes*
That my friend is a brain twisting comment. I don’t know why I laughed at it.
There’s much more to the lawn chair “saga” than you posted, dear Fail Gods. Check out what comes next here: {http://burbia.com/bad-neighbors}
Oh…My…Gosh. Makes me wish I had a bunch of lawn chairs I could loan to the guy–lawn chair towers sound like a marvelous “artsy” approach to his neighbor’s lunacy. And turning the guy in for the leaking oil tank was PRICELESS!!!
Oh and the way he checked the neighbor’s records and found that oil leak.. awesome!
Yeah, my lawyer counseled against that exact language.
*RIGLMAO*
I had a co-op teacher when i was doing my student teaching that hated me more than…
Jenny hates finding boogers on the steering wheel of a rental car.
Confound your enemy into submission. We give up because we are stronger.
hey… sarah palin must be one of your fans… she quits because a winner never quits!
You are not alone with your experience.
My co-op history teacher was a revamped home ec teacher who did not know the difference between Athens and Rome.
It was all Greek to her, I guess.
or Italian
Who cares.
me
*hands englishman an application for Humour 101*
That was part of the joke…
I realized.. I just posted without thinking… its 1AM here give me a break!
HAH!!!
We crashed the website. Erm…woops.
I see that as a victory.
Pip pip tally ho!
I wonder what Jimbo-is-bored, and-testing-a silent-comment♂ sees that as.
.
(j/k super Jimbo!!)
*grumbles*
*devours moderator’s head again*
*hunts down moderator’s family and eats their skulls too*
Let’s try this again …
Oh wow, it looks better now! I figured it was just a dark site at first (black background because the background PICTURE wasn’t loading and stuff like that). Great, now I gotta go play with it again.
I am not sold on the new site yet – guess we will have to see what us Failers will submit.
*wish I had access to my old work emails*
I got a great one from a girlfriend of a friend of mine once. I shoulda saved that.
I had a girlfriend from a friend of mine once also. He did not appreciate it.
sorry to hear that old chap
Awesome.
It’s spelled “straitjacket”.
You guys stole my idea!
awesome crazy CL emails :
dontevenreply.com
I love the new site. Hilarious. That David Thorne is either a genius or an ass. Probably both.
WAY off topic, but I want to get everyone’s opinion of this:
I have been taking part of a two month long debate with a friend of mine on whether or not Scooby and Shaggy from the Scooby Doo series are stoners. I believe they are, but my friend is totally opposed to this. His argument? You can’t have drug referrences in something aimed at children. While this is a very good point, wasn’t Alice in Wonderland just one big drug referrence?
Maybe not a reference, but definitely a trip!
And you most certainly can! Or at least could. Back when it all started.
I’m going for totally stoned. If you need any other proof for adult content in children’s movies, look at Shrek. Most of the jokes in that movie the kids won’t even get!
(Sorry about any typos or grammatical errors in there, for some reason I thought speed was key.)
They were always in search of spirits, if that is any help.
Does my fuzzy spirit good to see you’re in good spirits, and being fuzzy again, Sir Coyote. Congrats on that, good man.
Thank-you. Perhaps I should write a book about it and call it Hair Raising Tales.
Obviously it couldn’t be explicitly shown… but the implication is certainly there. They even have their own stoner van! And it would explain their constant snacking.
All of the Scooby Doo characters were horrible stereotypes. Shaggy was definitely the underachieving, slow-witted pot smoker.
I heard (gawd only knows from whom) that each of the Scooby Doo characters represented a well-known college or university. Shaggy was Berkeley, Thelma was Brown…I can’t remember the others right now. But I thought it was an interesting theory.
Definitely plausible!
At first, I thought you said “Berklee”… you know, being a music college.
Even when I was a kid I thought Shaggy was on something! And as for Alice in Wonderland, the 1952 Disney movie? Or the book? Either way, drugs most certainly abound. Back to Scooby and Shaggy, look what era they come from. While they might never say it, They were definitely stoners.
For Alice, both.
The movie was an adaptation of both “Alice in Wonderland” and “Through the Looking Glass*. I just saw it (again) a week ago. The Liberties taken with the poems perturb me.
Are we talking “Disturbed greatly” perturbed, or “Cause confusion” perturbed?
Shaggy was voiced by Casey Kasem … and Kasem’s parents were from Lebanon … and they have hookahs and hashish there … so I think that proves whirled peas are the shizzizzle.
.
And, yo yo, Qwaz, don’t sweat the villain thing. Your saying it totally lightened the mood. I had pissed some folks off by being very engaged here for a number of months, then getting really unhappy with it and pretty much quitting, and only posting instead under other names. Doing that, along with saying some things that came off as disdainful of others here, disappointed and angered some folks. Wasn’t my intention to make people feel that way.
.
But the whole thing now leaves me feeling it’s just time to lighten my sh!t up. And your comment helped with that.
Well I’m glad I could take a little part in bringing back an old friend.
*bows*
I am glad that things seem to be work(ed)ing out. I would hate to label you a ‘wuff!’
I thought I saw Bluestreak just cruise by.
Lighten your… You know that there are things that you can take for that. Pill, liquid and chewable forms.
… like helium balloons tied to a bucket?
Gas balloons? Hmmmm.
Another way off topic, but I totally just ROFLed. Some guy walked into my store and I said, “Hi, how are you today?”, and he responded, “Happier than Micheal Jackson in a kindergarten class!” While the joke itself is not that funny, and the guy has since proven to be a total douche, I found it hilarious that he just spouts offensive jokes about the recently deceased to complete strangers. Some people…
Speaking of which… I have this friend that has some questions of a delicate nature. Where can I refer her? (For the record, if it were me I was referring to, I’d have said so.
That’s a tough one.
If it were you, I’d just give you my email addy. 
If there are any classy(ish) shops in her area, I’d say go there. A big tell is usually actually whether or not they hire men. An all female staff is a good sign. Don’t believe anything you are told at a home toy party. Most of the companies don’t educate their reps.
Errrmmmm… It entirely depends on what the questions are about.
The friend in question already owns NUMEROUS toys. But she asked a question of me that I had no frame of reference for! While I would love to put the two of you into contact, the world as we know it might implode.
Ah, yes. Implosions should be avoided wherever possible. May I ask what the question was?
*really hopes Avis tells, ‘cuz is now really curious*
*is also curious*
*Thinks this could be good, brings out unpopped corn.*
I know your services have been used for this before, but if you please?
Ooh!
^ That was the biggest HTML fail I’ve had in a while. !magine the “Yay!” and down in normal font size.
*!magines*
Could I please have some popcorn now?
pockern? Ok I’ll bite.
OW!
Hey! Why are there Dragon parts in the bucket?
*gets out band-aids*
*eyes wide open*
Avis this is an open forum you can talk to us. How delicate we talking? Cashmere, silk, porcelain?
(Aside) Emp! It’s been a while since we were online at the same time… How’s the shipping business?
Its going well. Packages haven’t been delivered for a bit but every once in a while the business picks up.
That’s good.
As long as the occasional shipment makes it through, things are all good.
Yup, sorry to cut this short but this business needs to shut down for the night in order to do some energy saving. Night all.
Night your Majesty.
I, too, have to get outta here for the night. I’ll try to check back later or tomorrow morning to see if Avis posts the question.
Nighty-night Failbloggers!!
*Squeezes all*
Night to you too. Bed for me as well.
*squeeze*
G’night, peeps.
Night all. *squeezes*
I guess it’s just us non-sissies that are left.
Mwuaahahahahahaaa…
Oh wait…I should have just stopped at MWUAAH!
I’d do better to let her find her own damned answers to her own damned questions!
Sorry guys, I got pulled away by a phone call and then was waaaaay to tired to try and figure out how to ask the question. The call was from the friend with the question (no, she doesn’t frequent the site) and as it turns out, she is no longer in need of the answer. She and the guy are no longer an item. DW, I’ll pass along the question via e-mail and you can decide whether or not you’d be comfortable asking it in an open forum!
ya…
Yet another way off topic topic. I am thinking of dumping Peoplepc and going with another dial-up (that’s right dial-up) provider. Copper.net and Basic ISP seem to be the best. Any opinions, experiences or advice?
O_o no
No idear whatsoever.
And…you’re fuzzy again!!
*rubs coyote’s head*
…For luck, yanno.
BE CAREFUL!! You’ll rub what little there is off. A certain brother said that the peach crop was early this year. Actually a peach is a hippie by comparison.
Eeep! Sowwy!
*gently pats coyote’s head and then puts hands behind back*
No contributions from me until you cut off a finger in apology for the attempted butt-rape with Lijit.com.
My god, I haven’t laughed so hard in ages! That second one about the pets was ridiculously funny.
To be honest: The fuzzy screenshots on this site are a pain for the eyes. Do not want.
I love the spider E-mail conversation
As someone who reads crazy people’s e-mails daily, I love the idea.
However, there are major legibility issues on that site. The e-mail screenshots are tough to read and the text on the page is impossible.
The note pad-type background was clever, but plain old white would work more easily. Hopefully my Google Reader will read the content just fine.
Thanks God! I was wondering where there would be a collective for this.
I have dozens of submissions for you!!!!