Patio Umbrella Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
*headdesk*
Why must you do this!?
Hoorah for the umbrella penis!
is it circumcised atleast?
Of course it is, it’s Jewish!
Hopefully or it would smell bad!
*Gutter mind acts up*
Anyone notice lower end of the screen?
omg it’s everywhere!
This video does not represent fail, it is by far the biggest fail ever. Whoever created this video deserves to remain in purgatory for all eternity.
A lighted patio umbrella also allows you to extend the illuminated area of A good quality rib lighting setup will not fail if a single bulb happens to
Angelina Jacob
Job Description
Boy do I wish I could use THAT as a dildo. …sigh…
You *could*, but you’d probably die. Die happy, who knows?
Mmmm, luv to play with one that size !
Genitalia shelter FTW!
Lets race who gets to the umbrella first.
You can have the POLE position.
first
Yeah, congrats, moron.
*crosses out “congrats”*
I wonder if the rain can penetrate that.
Ask not if the rain can penetrate the shelter; Ask if the shelter can penetrate the rain.
First failed comment ?!
comment failed First ?!
comment First failed ?!
Tu t’apelles comment ?!
Hah, needle.
Funny how we can make anything sexual these days.. Even an umbrella.
Bahahahaha.
Freud would be proud.
I wonder what it looks like in use?
deflated condom?
FIrST FIRST FIRST
FIST FIST FIST
Come’on failblock, you can do better then this…
hummm, it’s pretty good as it is…
Failblock?
oh look the internet-nazis are back in business and moderating my comment…
I know what you mean, I had a nice comment for Elsa_mama and it had the word !mgine in it. It was in moderation then totally disappeared.
“could be gone any minute” is not helping your cause any lol.
They think you want them to have your comments gone.
Good morning, GBF! What time is it where you are?
It’s just coming up to 6 pm here in Tokyo. How about you, mrs_Z?
4:00am-ish US Central time. Got up to let the cats out for a run between thunderstorms and was curious to know who inhabits FB at this hour of the blessed a.m. And from the sound of it, it’s time to let the boys in again. They didn’t get much of a recess.
Morning GBF!
Evening, GV!
*squeeze*
Evening/morning all!
Heh, I’m talking with GBF from the future!
*squeeze*
*space-time contiuum snaps*
*universe implodes*
Sorry guys!
*starts putting universe back together*
*sorts out 4 goggleplex corner pieces*
*headdesk*
googol!
*dons goggles*
*squeeze*
*flies off in bi-plane to the unmade corners of the universe*
In my defen(s/c)e it was a spell check error!
Should have Googled it first.
The British are coming! The British are coming!
*runs in circles giggling*
*gallops to GV in redcoat and tricorner hat*
*stops to have a cup of tea*
*asks footman to lay out ‘British are coming morning suit’*
*continues charge*
*calls Mel Gibson*
*gives him a hatchet*
Go get ‘em, Mel!
*dives into Boston harbour to rescus precious tea*
Philistines! Barbarians! Homewreckers!
*Runs back to Ireland to plan another rebellion*
You’ll make them up while you’re out there? Hospital corners?
The universe is indeed a strange place. The same minute I place a Scrubs clicky, you talk about hospitals!?!
I was going to put rubber corners so they don’t hurt when you run into them.
*squeeze*
*squeeze back atcha*
I SO miss Scrubs! And, strangely enough, I miss commercials. Everything else on television, meh, not so much.
But…you have the internet! How can you miss television shows?
Scrubs high-five!
*high five*
I have the Windstream Sucky Internets package. They told me it was superfast broadband. When I called back to find out why it takes all fall to load video on my ‘puter, they said, “Oh, you wanted the superduperfast broadband. You may have that for $X more! So I put it on my list of things to do without until I am back into a job.
Do you know what your connection speed is?
GV, the tag says 100Mbps.
Is that 100MBps or 100Mbps, either way you should have no problem streaming clips as i can do it on a 2Mbps internet connection. Go to speedtest.net and see what you’re getting out of your connection.
It’s Mbps. Speedtest, huh? I shall try it.
Well, Speedtest said it needed to install Microsoft.Net 3.5 before it could continue the scan. I okayed it 25 minutes ago and it is still downloading. Meanwhile, I’ve been up since 3am CDT, it’s nearly 6a now, and I’m going to go crawl in for a few more zzzz’s. G’nite, g’morning, or g’day, and squeezes all around!
**grabs penisbrella, pops open, stops implosion of universe**
A-ha! The Penis-Brella is good for something OTHER than rain shelter and fail jokes! *bows*
It’s not a fail if it’s meant as an advertisement.
It looks like PENIS.
or DILDO
Boioioioioinggg!!!!
f*ck moderation
Loving the Monty Python avatar, Noctaluca!
It looks like an idiot!
It looks like Hitler in a nurse suit.
He’s a character called “Gumby” who features in a Monty Python sketch complaining that his brain hurts. He is, as GV says, a complete moron.
Or a “moran”!
MY BRAIN HURTS!!!
Thx! I thought one of my previous avatars looked like this one ^^
Hehe long story warning…
Many years ago I had an old car with an automatic transmission. When it was cold out, the car had a hard time shifting gears, it would get stuck in 1st until it warmed up a little. So if I was in a hurry, I was driving down the street at 35 mph and 7000 rpms for about 30 seconds- warms up pretty quick at such high rpms. Needless to say I didn’t want to ignore it for too long. Aamco transmission offered a free diagnosis, so on a day off, I brought my car there. Since it only did this when it was cold, I had to leave it there overnight. I came back the next morning to ask what they found and how much it would cost to fix it. Well, their free diagnosis wasn’t much good, it consisted of explaining that they couldn’t tell what was wrong with it without removing the transmission, and the mechanic’s choice of words were, “It’ll have to come out.” All I could think of was this Monty Python sketch, the moron says “My brain hurts!” and the doctor (also a moron) looks at his head a moment, says “It’ll have to come out!” I was poor, so I wasn’t going to pay them $150 to remove my transmission and tell me how much more it would cost, so I walked out of there yelling in the moron voice “It’ll have to come out! Out? of my head?” Mechanic must have thought I was nuts… and would be correct.
same size as mine
Looks to be about 2″ on my screen, give or take a quarter inch.
So sorry, wasabii… must be rough for you.
lolol i am listening swallow by emilie at the moment
the same moment i saw that thinng i heared her say ‘I will swallow!’
xD xD
hahaha
i believe that’s a fail-us
There’s something up with that picture
click my name to see the umbrella opened
Or, rather, a rick-rolling website that will not close even if you try, unless you go to Task Manager.
I take it that the 3rd witty comments countering Trolls division is special? I want to help O_O
And you can, in two easy steps!
1) Get an avatar from gravatar.com
2) Make witty comments, when you can
3) Have fun here!
*crosses out two and replaces with three while no-one’s looking*
Phew!
Have you been to gravatar yet?
Of course! *Shifty eyes* *goes to Gravatar*
No no no! Safety third. Sheesh!
Sorry!
3)
Have fun here!Safety.Better?
Much better!
*morningsqueeze*
I don’t like to disappoint!
*eveningsqueeze*
I couldn’t get over the fact that it looked like a penis sculpture for long enough to figure that it might be something else until I read comments. Clearly, my head is broken.
Sadly I know a skank that could probably take that.
If you think the wiener umbrella is bad, wait until you see the banana hammock.
*skips off*
Banana hammock? Tell me more wise Moomin!
*gives chase*
*stops suddenly and watches GV race by*
*gives chase*
Morning!
Hammock up! (clicky)
*Spots Moomin on his tail*
*Takes flight*
*produces pink cloud from top hat*
*jumps on and gives chase*
Argh! Gokumin!
*panics*
*hides under hat*
Eeek! I’m Gokumin?
*tries to hide from self and runs in circles round hat*
*falls over dizzy and exhausted*
Of course! You have a flying nimbus and everything!
*rumbles behind the Moomin in jeep amidst motorcade*
We’ve turned into a Benny Hill chase
*puts on “Yakety Sax” and presses fast forward*
Well thank you Moomin, for that earworm!
*Puts on nurse’s cap*
*flings off bathrobe to reveal revealing swimwear*
*Joins the madcap chase*
*looks back*
*shrugs*
*continues flying*
EEK!!! My Failblog has come all to pieces!!!
*refresh, refresh, refresh* Oh, This is a disaster!
What did I do to cause this??
*Yells to the Powers That Be* I’M SORRY!!
*Puts robe back on*
Now, THIS is bizarre. I put my robe back on, and my Failblog screen began to reassemble itself. That’s it–my Benny Hill days are over. *gasp* It’s been years since I’ve tried to run in heels, anyway.
Damn you FailBlog! You’ve ruined my secret plan to get all the female members of failblog to wear revealing swimwear by organising a Benny Hill style race! *shakes fist*
seems like another win to me
*shakes fist at the blog*
How dare you eat my witticisms.
Last! (so far)
damn
Oh… No, no, no… That is ULTIMATE WIN.
‘Nuff Said…
The Dildo Umbrella! Perfect for nuneries.
Mr. Brewski is going to like this one another penis fail. LOL
“There is God and then there was Marines. God has a hardon for Marines” (full Metal Jacket)
Not as much as the next one.
Good morning Halifax. You look stiff this morning LOL.
Have you heard of morning wood?
Lol, actually, too late for that now. Gotta go soon, but hows it going?
Good stay well for the day Halifax.
Yes when you get up and you are so hard that you can write your name in glass.
Speaking of which: many children like to pee their names into snow. Chuck Norris pees his name into concrete.
LMAO thanks Chuck Halifax.
*gets out little black book*
*jots down new rule:*
“Never eat yellow concrete!”
AAAnnnndddd what concrete is good to eat?
Well, the old rule is, “Never eat yellow snow.” My dad used to tell us this every time we went up in the mountains to play in the snow. You know, just to get a laugh out of us kids. That being the old rule, I figure the new one, in light of the Chuck Norris statement, has to be, “Never eat yellow concrete.”
LOLWUT !!!
Is that an umbrella on you patio or are you happy to see me?
*your
Ha… that looks like a giant tan pee pee.
it looks like a…………PENIS!!!!
PENIS! BIG F*****G ERECT PENIS!!!
I HATE ROS STOWER I DEMAND ALL OF YOU TO CONTACT HER.
BRISTOL CITY COUNCIL ROS STOWER IS A CHILD RAPIST
At it sayeth i the Holy Book, “Then when David layed Goliath low he then did cut off his head”…. Ohhh THAT head!
I wonder what the lady umbrella looks like?
*prays it doesnt rain*
Thats an akward party conversation…..or is it?
Phalic win.
If that’s an umbrella, fail.
If that’s a pleasure device, damn… must try.
Isn’t this the design for the new WTC building?
Penis umbrella is now a meme.
It can keep you dry or it can get you wet…
Win.
Win win win win win.
Win!
I see a double fail. Is that supposed to be a pool??
I think it’s a sandbox.
So, an umbrella cover which just happens to have a weird fold in it at the top + someone with a dirty mind who takes a picture of it = fail?
It’s easy enough to see that they just didn’t pull it down all the way. *eyeroll*
Penis and vagina jokes are getting SERIOUSLY old on FailBlog… >_>
Thing is huge. lol so creative
o_0 The Rick Roll thing is SO yesterday and NOT funny. NEVER was and NEVER will be. If you can’t be nice to others you should get off the web. Make no mistake about it you are one sick A individual
Hey Paula calm blue ocean here is a basketball lets go shoot hoops.
Frig that o_0 guy you should have not fallen for that like I did LOL.
boner
that’s actually a win.
Shopped.
Sometimes a patio umbrella is just a patio umbrella.
Actually, this is Win to me.
You know you guys would think so too if it was a giant boob
And now that you mention it… I’m wondering if, since the cover is sort of a skin-tone, if the umbrella itself is, too? Wouldn’t it be hilarious to have one that looks like that when closed… then opens into a nicely-domed umbrella with a brilliant pink “cap” on the top?
“Hey, Steve! Watch me turn this giant penis into a humongous boob!”
PHOTOSHOP.
eww, what is the supposed to be?
This is what happens when your hot wife lounges naked under the umbrella!
Calm Blue ocean AND b-ball, yep frig that guy.
*sigh* this would be perfect for the Penguin, after Batman sends him 2 jail again that is….
anyone else think of the line in Canadian Bacon (if you’ve even heard of it)
“Never seen a white one that big before!”
Thats where I left that….. I swear I just leave my penis lying about any ole’ place these days…..where are my manners. If you see my nuts hanging around…….. be sure to let me know.
Now where is that giant lady.
Take a seat?
funny XD
I was looking for a blog on patio furniture and found this blog
LOL great blog