Car Repair Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
I am GOD!! YEAH
*thunderbolt strikes Czkincksx*
(I like your work, Hal.)
I swear, it wasn’t me!
But thanks anyways!
*squeeze*
Nice car, very uptight lol
*picks up scattered pieces of Czhincksx*
*tosses in dumpster*
just stop it already
Pees on Czhincksx’s remains and set aflame
*stops it*
aw gee whiz *kicks dirt*
Wow a work of art……
patchwork welding, nice! Can I get a quilt made up?
Of course! Just choose your metals and we can get started.
I zinc erm I zinc….oh this is to hard, maybe calcium, that would be a steel.
Iron out the details later. Aluminum take a little time to Tin-ker it into shape. Gold it, silver?
Alloy! You stole all my precious puns!
Uranium accuse me of Steel-ing? What lead you to that conclusion? If you are planning on calling the Coppers, I think you should hold your Tungsten! That would be a Titanium mistake, Palladium!
I zinc you misunderstood me… Let’s not nickel and dime this.
ooh, um, ooh,…… aren’t you glad i didn’t say orangium!!!!!
Cobalt you tell that the joke is supposed to be “Banana”? Sometimes you can be such a Hassium! Manganese!
You guys deserve metals for these puns. They’re gold!
You Rhenium think so? I guess that this is serious Bismuth, then! I’m glad that we didn’t Bohrium you. You would have thrown a Tantalum!
You guys had me riveted to my seat.
Just march on, Christian solders. Iridium you keep going without me.
What ore you talking about?
i do believe thats a – thereifixedit win!
NOW WE ARE TALKING!
LOL Is that rust? How long would you really drive something like that?
No, I think that’s auto body filler putty.
Or maybe k@ the custard fairy is right and it is expanding foam insulation. Never seen the foam turn grey before tho. o.O
Every law officer they pass is gonna pull that thing over and ask if it’s been inspected.
I think they tried to paint the foam to match the car, lol.
a little coca-cola can fix up the rust problem…
What are you talking about? That’s the coolest minivan I’ve ever seen!
Yikes! I think the repair looks worse than the damage.
Nah, it’s bullet proof! A-Team style.
So….it is in fact a Tank?
.
.
.
where’s the gun?
The gunner is riding low in the boot. You just can’t see it.
I just don’t know what to say about this…..
So…..Good morning!
*afternoonsqueeze*
I could Murdoch a cup of tea.
I love it when a plan comes together!
I pity the fool that did this to their car.
Troll-car on the road.
♪On a cold and gray Chicago mornin’
A poor little hack repair is born
In the ghetto … in the ghetto.♪
It’s a real FrankenAstro, huh?
en el barrio
Judy *squeeze* (not often I get to do that, there is usually a large queue!
I know what you mean, k@!
*squeezies*
*squeeze*
good morning!
Expanding foam- the new alternative to metal!
PENIS.
Well thanks for giving it away. We were all happy guessing what was in your mouth until you had to blow it away.
hahahaha!
I chortled. that was just too damn random *keeps crusin on down this fail*
Hey guys, I have a little question: Is it grammatically correct to use an acute accent (´) instead of an apostrophe (‘) in phrases like “I’m”, “don’t” or “brr’s comment”? I’m not a native speaker, so I’m not entirely sure. But I was taught that’s wrong and thus it hurts my eyes to read that over and over again in even the higher educated failblogger’s comments.
Oh wait, that’s just the font of failblog. My bad. *facepalm*
Eyes all better?
Still a little itchy. But thanks.
*scraches eyes*
^t^
Ha, I tried to correct my typo, and got a “You are posting comments too quickly! Slow down.”
I’ve never seen that one before.
Hee…I’ve gotten that one. Apparently Failblog doesn’t care for the “rain of posts” style of posting, either.
Good to see you back, Brewski. *squeeze*
It’s a “There, I fixed it” typical
It’s a “I don’t bother to read other comments before posting” typical.
Now let’s just put the little kiddies in the back here, and we’ll be on our way!
Perfectly safe!
(Morning everyone!)
*squeeze!*
*squeeze*
Morning, zippycat!
What car repair?
That car looks a little baux(ite)y. But I steel want one anyway.
Welcome back, Brewski!
*homecoming squeeze*
Chrome on in. We can iron out our differences.
Thanks! *squeezes to all failfriends*
*gives Skratdaddy a metal for keeping the punrun going*
Thanks skrat, you have alloyed my fears.
How brass! We greet returning friends first, then we get on with the business of punning.
You’re right, of course Judy! *squeeze*
I apologize for my cold work there.
That sure was a quick transition!
He has shown his mettle.
you powered the demolition fail right there
*special squeeze for Judy*
I am taking the day off, I’m at home. I was going to use it to cruise failblog, but I don’t know if I’m really in the mood after hearing about Elsa.
i didn’t hear about elsa, what happened?
n/m, i read it below.
*squeeze*
*squeeze back* hey, welcome back home! Glad to see you had a safe trip. So what did you end up doing for Kareoke?
The biggest single success from my trip? I avoided Karaoke!!! So I didn’t sing.
I went shopping, had lots of good food, wandered in Shenzhen (big city, near Hong Kong), and got a lot of massage. I bought a fake Rolex, now I can look like a big impressive rich snot flaunting his wealth.
ROFL! Congrats on the escape! and the faux Rolex…. I used the French word for fake, it looks more…umm, well, French! hee hee I took my boyfriend to upstate NY this weekend for the family reunion. It was a huge success!
Pssst..I renamed it Folex when I, ahem…acquired it.
I have a Cucci watch.
Cucci! LOL!!!!! Cucci cucci cucci!!!
My friend has a Panda (Prada) bag.
I bought the watch, not because I was in need of a fake Gucci, but just because it said Cucci. That’s fantastic.
I love it!!!
Do you tickle it with your finger and say, “Cucci, cucci, coo!”?
…Yeah, I wouldn’t either.
*looks at ceiling and whistles innocently*
I agree, Brewski. I popped in on lolcats to see Elsa, and her message just about broke my heart. She is so brave. I don’t think I could ever bear losing a child, even if it was a certainty.
Where was her message Judy?
on the most recent lol they have over there about 1/2 way down, but it fills up a lot of the page
This car’s been repaired? Get out of here.
イエスキリスト
if you don’t know what i mean, use google chrome
Jesus, that’s hard!
Or, decipher the hidden code of katakana…
Oooooh!
[insert spooky music here]
Damn no 100 km an hour tape. Must of been used up.
Hello, my fellow failbloggers.
I’m afraid have some sad news today. Last night, I received an email from our dear cheez-friend Elsa_Mama. She wrote to tell me that her son Matt, who has been fighting leukemia, passed peacefully in his sleep. She has found so much support here in the past weeks that I know she would want you to know.
Elsa_Mama…if you see this, we’ll be keeping you and your family in our thoughts today.
*sad squeeze*
*lots of hugs* Elsa_mama.
*squeeeeeeeze*
A parent should never have to bury their child. My sympathies to Elsa_Mama.
I totally agree, Ms B.
Oh, I just ache for Elsa_mama.
I sadly know exactly how this feels, but there is nothing I can say to help the situation.
Our prayers are with you Elsa_mama.
Everybody experiences grief in their own way, K@. I don’t think any of us can know exactly how Elsa feels. But I know what you meant. I’m sorry you had to live through that kind of grief. I’ve been quite fortunate. I’ve never had a very close loved one die. But it’s something most all have to deal with eventually.
*hugs and sympathy to Elsa_Mama*
Oh no.
My deepest sympathy for Elsa_Mama if she’s there.
*sadsqueezes*
my thoughts are with her.
*Sends heartfelt squeezes to Elsa_Mama and family*
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
*knows nothing better to offer than a hug, and all the sympathy that can be mustered*
*Long squeeze*
Hi FB’ers, I’m from the cheezeburger site, Elsa_Mama is on over there if you guys want to ‘talk’ to her in person.
Thanks Parrothead.
Oh no!!!
My condolences to Elsa_Mama and her family.
May Matt rest in peace.
That’s terrible. *sigh*
I’ll pop into lolcats.
I posted a comment there and it went into moderation. I don’t understand. I went back to look to see if it went thru and I don’t even see it anywhere.
Have you posted on lolcats before? First comments are always moderated. It should show up eventually.
It’s my first post. I guess they are pretty strict over there eh?
You can’t has first post.
If it was your first post there it may take a long while. I was moderated for two days before I got through.
Two days? What in the world did you say aiki? Hehe
Well, I guess Elsa_Mama won’t see my post any time soon.
oh, Elsa_Mama, I am so sorry to hear. You are in my thoughts. *squeeze*
Poor Elsa_Mama. I just don’t know how I would handle a loss like that.
She is clearly a stronger person tha I. My condolences.
So sorry to hear of your loss Elsa_mama. Our thoughts are with you.
*squeeze*
*Hopes Elsa_Mama makes it over to see the support she has*
Elsa_Mama, I’m so sorry to hear that. We all know from your comments what a brave boy he was. **Hugs**
Our best wishes, prayers, sympathies and condolences to our friend Elsa_Mama for the loss the world is suffering with her today.
OMGWTF, did he die?
We’re here for fun, not to hear those kinds of stories.
*Hoists Tut by the throat, tosses him into giant fishtank*
*Fills tank with water, begins rapping violently on it*
While we are here for fun, you do not say these things.
*tosses in a giant baracuda*
Someone has no sympathy…
My condolences to her, too.
Nobody should have to go through that – outliving your children.
I posted a comment here earlier but it got moderated for some reason.
Anyways, Elsa, you and your family are in my prayers. Tough loss; such tragedies are just so heartbreaking.
What? No duct tape?
Come on, duct tape would make it look tacky.
There is always duct tape, for it is the force
There is a dark side
a light side
and it holds the universe together.
What’s the white stuff dripping down the side??
Could it be “hair gel”?
Do you really want to know what it is? *raises eyebrow*
It has to be bird crap!
Blech!
There is a dark side, a light side and a sticky side
damn, youj beat m eto it
Awesome Tints! Is that mildew above the back tire? Or maybe…. Old Baconlube?!?!?!? *Insert Horror Sound Effect*
It’s a collector’s item.
You are an collector’s item. LOL.
You mean … a collector’s item? …and how am I a collector’s item? I didn’t know humans could be collected…
*collects Leila in his arms, squeezes*
Morning!
Jules!!! *squeeze* Good morning. Hope you had a good weekend.
It was a productive weekend.
How about you?
Productive for me as well. I replaced my car fog lights, did some needed purging of things and I feel like a million bucks!!!
It’s not a Moanday, then?
*wishes she
hadfelt like a million bucks**feels like that million bucks have run over her*
blinking deer!
k@ & Ms B — *squeeze to both*
*moandaycomiserationsqueezes*
for Leila & MsB & all that require them.
Ok, let’s all just go back to bed!
I’m with you there, Ms B.
*hops into bed with Ms B*
I still don’t know whether it is AM or PM!
*throws squeezes upward to k@*
OR…
Or…we could go and have a mani/pedi outing.
*stands at foot of bed and pouts* I’m sleepy too.
I think we need a Moanday-sized super-dooper-king bed. *WIKsqueeze*
Who’s going to read a bedtime story? I want a bedtime story!
*seriously considers going to bed, but tries to resist*
*tummy grumbling*
Okay…I would rather stay in bed too then. Make room everyone. Nice king size bed by the way.
*grabs blankie and snuggles in with all*
*contented sigh*
I’m not reading the bedtime story this time. I want someone to sing me a lullaby.
I was trying NOT to remember but…I am having a MoanDay! The worst kind. I had 1 lousy mai tai last night 4 my b-day and I find that it doesn’t like me.
I think I will limit any alcohol consumption in FB going forward.
I wish my pain was alcohol induced…
Another headache Ms B?
I wish. I just found out I have strep-throat. Got a stupid penicillin shot in the…umm…yeah…
GAH!!!
*I’m sorry squeeze* That really sucks. Hope it clears up fast.
Yikes!
*jumps out of Ms B’s bed*
*hands Ms B a nice soothing cup of tea to comfort her throat*
Drink this!
Sorry, Brewski! I should have warned you.
Thanks, all!
Brewski, how long does it take for your system to normalize again with the time difference and all?
I set that up and you got the squeeze jules LOL
….doo dee doo….*slowly steps away from 5 eagles* It’s ok Leila, I just slipped a GPS tracking dot in your pocket. If something happens, we’ll find you.
*squeeze* Thank you abstract for having my back.
*borrows Brewski’s notepad and enters a note about 5 eagles*
LMAO what the heck. I can’t get yellow cards every day.
*Knocks on Leila’s House Door*
Hi Ma’am,
Is there a Leila at this residence? We’ve come for a pick up…
She went
way!!!!!
*squeezes NoOneSpecial*
*thinks it’s pretty special*
Are your feet firmly planted on US soil now?
*oof!*
Yes, finally! I had a flight cancellation to deal with, so got home very late. Well, very early, actually.
I think I’ll go brew some of my new tea!! Maybe that will help make me coherent.
Not that I am ever coherent, even in the best of circumstances.
You brought tea eh? My cabinet is filled with every type of tea you can !magine from Taiwan. I love tea.
Incoherent or not, happy you made it back home safe and sound.
Yes, I have some Taiwan oolong. Also green tea and pu’erh.
You’re a fan of Taiwan tea? They make some extremely good teas there. I love the oolong pearls, that stuff is sooooo good. But it has too much caffeine, so I can’t drink it very often (heart palpitations)
I don’t think I’ve had pu’erh. Wonder what it tastes like. I am fond of the black teas as well. Oolong is one of my faves type but I don’t like it when they mix it with flowers/fruit (American version). I have some packages in the cupboards and I don’t know what kind they are – not one word in English to serve as a clue. LOL I call it my tea surprise.
i love you two!! Leila & Brewski, you are fabulous! oh, may I please have some oolong? it is my second favorite after Earl Grey
LOL!! You don’t have to ask twice. You can have all the oolong you want.
*gives abstract a hot cup of oolong tea*
Jasmine tea for me. Or a ginseng (a real ginseng, not a U.S. knockoff)
*looks in cupboard* Hmmm…this could be jasmine or ginseng. Try it and let me know.
*gives aiki a hot cup of jasmine or ginseng tea*
*sips oolong* mmmm, delicious! thanks
Hey Aiki *squeeze*, Jasmine is my fave.
I like the jasmine “pearls”, where they roll up a single tea leaf with jasmine flower petals. It unfurls when steeped, and can be resteeped more than once and still tastes good.
The Chinese brew tea very differently than US/British people. If you’ve seen traditional Chinese tea service, you know what I’m talking about. It’s a bit hard to explain.
*takes first sip of new puer*
Oh wow! Yum!
@Leila: Yes I wish these darn Asians would stop using those squiggly characters for their language, so I could figure out what kind of teas I have!
If anyone had the American version of chai tea you will like the African way of making it. You basically boil some cloves, cardamom seeds and cinnamon in water then add any black tea. It tastes soooooooo good. You can add milk/soy milk if you wish but I usually enjoy it without but this is the only time I would add some raw sugar. Mmmmm…….
I have a comment for elsa mama but it is in moderation.I use the !mgine word.
Oh, shoot! Now I know what I did!
*headdesk!*
Oh, well, it’ll show up sooner or later.
No it won’t mine didn’t LOL mrs z
Shouldn’t this be on “There, I Fixed It”?
That doesn’t look “fixed” to me…
You are doing it wrong. Tilt your head a little to the left then squint your right eye a little … do you see it now? It’s fixed.
Eep, what are you looking at?
*covers up, scootches away*
*puts nuts away*
Awww
*snorkie!!!*
Does it even keep the rain out?
Yeah this was originally on “There, I Fixed It”?
LIES!!!
2komponenten bauschaum: dein helfer in der not !
And I thought my car was in bad shape LOL!!!
Wow, I saw this car parked outside my office in downtown Portland, OR!! I took a picture and showed all my friends!!! muahahahaha
Did someone say “Cash for Clunkers”?
Judy, are you hearing voices again? LOL
Actually, I think someone said it recently … maybe it was Obama but I could be mistaken.
rofl! Yeah, it’s too bad he waited so long…. My Boyfreind just sold his to a freind about 3 months ago for $200 now he could get up to $2500 timing is everything. *grumble grumble* *kicks Obama’s admin. guy in the foot.*
Aw! That really sucks abstract. Can he trick his friend into giving it back? teehee!!!!
lolz, he could try…but his friend probably already sold it for the Obama money…. hey, can I have some Obama money? I’ll take $10,000 please. I don’t think that’s greedy…
Not greedy at all. It’s what “we’re” expected to do. Plus, you get a bonus for saying the magic word.
really, really, what was it? greedy?
Abracadabra!
Frankencar?
That’s what I was going to say.
Why is this a fail? The real question is, “does it work?”
If nothing else, It’s innovative
Looks like the work of photoshop to me
This makes “Git ‘er Done!” a new meaning!
gives*
All I wanted you to do was change the oil!
On the order, you signed for the special too.
I thought the special was ham and eggs!
Onehundrerdandeightyninth!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!
Hmmm, I wonder how the car is driving (look at the wheel, it’s a bit faded) without a driver… Oh wait, I know!
what a junker
def looks like photoshop (or gimp)
We shot this picture while driving next to this guy we hung back so he wouldnt see us capturing this death on four wheels.. it was on I-84 westbound in Portland Ore near 39thst exit there are 4 more picts comming around from behind. First we passed him then slowed down and came up on the drivers side so the passanger could get some pictures We laughed our *****es off .To top it off the guy in the front was wearing a suit. NOT THE WORK OF PHOTOSHOP
Was he wearing an invisibility suit?
this is why America is so low in $
This picture is at “Thereifixedit.com”! is the same company
Where do you get that kinda rust on a car.. does he park it in the ocean every day ?
FrankenVan. It’s ALIIIIIIIVE!!! Muahahaha!
They’re not fixing my car! lol
WTH?!?!? Frankenvan?
looks like a car from deathrace.
MacGyver – HE IS BACk!!!!!
soon to appear on there i fixed it
Holy shit this person is my hero
win
It’s really scary knowing that someone is driving that piece of shit on the same roads as me…
Hell ya!!!! only 17 more payements and this baby is ours!!!!! WOOT!
Frankenstein
Had to get there, he got there.
“You rock” your car was ripped and you still made to where you had to be.
Inovative, creative, dangerous, but you “GOT IT DONE” lol
wrdew
A car’s man!
HAIL, EARTHLINGS. I AM CUTLASS OF BORG-WELDER. PREPARE TO BE ASSIMILATED.
i dont think writing “Wash me” on the window is quite sufficient in this case.
Its BEAUTIFUL!
Come on guys, when he gets some bondo on there, sands it a little and it’s gonna look great! Dont you know nothin’ bout body work in the barrio?
BEAUTIFUL CAR
!
Why would you try so hard to even cover that.
i dont think the crash was an acadeint
wow!!! thank u very much for all this information. Keep on supplying such useful information. It really is interesting.