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not second!
not first!
Definitely not third
Oh wait…
not 5th..
wait there`s a 4 before 5 wright???
haha it was 666 comments,now 667,i have no life
did he die?
7 times, 2 lives left
there’s 669 comments now 8)
or 699… -Looks-
yeah 699.
Lol Pwned :*)
Portuguese Stuff is always a Fail
Not Vasco da Gama’s exploration! That was not a fail, but only from the Portuguese perspective.
not first… saing YOU SUCK!!!
He didn’t proclaim he was first, just that he was not second.
The guy who did the amazing handshake feint happens to be the Portuguese Prime Minister. Take that, fly-killer Obama!
*puts out hand as to congratulate Name (required)*
*not*
It’s Luis Amado, the portuguese Foreign Affairs Minister.
Contigo a contribuir…
deixós miar. o bush fez cenas bem piores
nisso tens razão XD
Are you retarded?!
i totally agree… xD
eu concordo plenamente… XD
>.> you fail
I lost the Game!!!!!
His heart is crushed at 0:08
TIMBER!!!
*sigh*
That’s what I get for attempting to jump the gun!
Hehehe! But still not f*rst…
From the title I thought you’d be right. I hadn’t seen this one.
.
And from my point of view, Avis is FISRT. Mr. Weenie doesn’t count.
*SQUEEZE*
I think there is another on the vote page with the same title that DOES feature a person falling.
*nods*
I thought that was it, too.
*squeeze*
“Weinie” generally carries a connotation of being smaller though.
He is the captian of the S.S. Minnow.
I seriously doubt he could give anyone a three hour tour.
*snork!!*
Might as well toss the tiny ship.
The minnow would be lost.
The concept of a “three hour tour” is much less appealing now than it was back in my college days.
Beige… I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.
that’s just plain sad…
Were you commenting on a different fail?
I can’t always see the videos so I when I can see them I watch as many as I can find on the vote page. And I try to remember which is which. I clearly failed this time! Ah, well. *sighs*
jackass WIN!
you win
i have a gun you can jump
Silly Captian, you’ll never find your first mate with lines like that.
*snork!*
That’ll take the wind out of his sails!
Thar she
blowalks away!Even the plank is better than the Captain.
Aye aye, Arthur!
Yo-ho me heartys. ♥ ♥
And a bottle of rum?
All hands on deck!!
Well shiver me timbers!
You know, we could stick with this ’til the bitter end!
Ooh. I wouldn’t mind a couple of hands on my deck…
Um, I mean ARRRRRR!
*comes about*
*SMOOCHES!*
Got a run for a bit…I’ll be back later!
Zoink!
No handshake for you! Two weeks!
Next!
Denial is no longer just a river in Egypt.
Lol?
You should know whether you have or not. Why do you ask us?
oink reee!
*squeeze!*
Weeee!!!!! Su-ieeeeeee!!!
PSYCHE! I don’t care what anyone says. That’s funny!
I say it’s funny too. I get called a little kid when I do that but whatever.
Nice to meet you!
Nevermind…
Nice to meet… not you!
I don’t think he grasped the magnitude of his blunder.
It is sometimes hard to get a handle on social etiquette.
It could have been a good friendship but sadly, it slipped through his fingers.
I think you nailed it.
Very cuticle!
Looks like putting your mouth where your foot should be? I dont know made sense to me but I am Borg after all.
Hi, my name is – Oh, shit there’s Bob! Nice meetin’ ya, gotta go!
And our Admiral powers yet another fail!
Cookies for all!
*takes cookie*
.
Thanks! I’m starving!
.
*snoopy dances with everyone for Admiral’s powering*
Yippee!!!
*wiggle dances next to Velvet*
♪ Lights, camera, action; WIGGLES!
Welcome to our TV show… ♪
We don’t watch that show at my house. But he watches it at Grandma’s!
Did you convince him that that show doesn’t work on YOUR tv, it only works at Grandma’s? My folks did stuff like that to me.
That route seems to be working so far!
Yay Admiral!!!
*grabs a cookie*
Yummy, thanks Judy.
*gleefully joins in the snoopy dance*
*grabs two cookies and starts to do the paso doble dance*
*wheels in confetti cannon*
*fires across room*
Congrats AA!
*spits out confetti, replaces with cookie*
*was stuck in that cannon*
*flies across room*
Congraaaaaaaaaaaa
*pulls out net to catch Arthur*
I’ve got you buddy!
*watches Arthur fly across room*
*looks back at cannon*
*looks back and forth*
*doesn’t think that was supposed to happen*
Sorry, guess I should check it before firing. I would have sworn there was just confetti in there.
*secretly thinks that looked fun*
Ok load up and I’ll fire it again. Here, don’t forget your helmet.
Careful not to fall apart all over while you’re in the air.
:ick:
Oh, umm … on second thought … maybe I’m not together enough of a person to try stunts like that.
TADA!
*pulls industrial shrink wrap from behind my back*
How very Evel Knievel of you! Good form! (took me a minute to spell that one)
*lands in net*
*stands up and bows to the crowd with shaking knees while covering ass*
(It was supposed to look a little different. Ah well.)
So agile!!! What form.
*standing ovation*
Bravo!!!!!
Curses! Foiled again!
*squeezity!*
*SKAA-WEEEEEEZE*
(A Dragon-sized squeeze!)
*takes a cookie*
*squeezes everybody*
Yay, another hat-trick!
Woohoo! Thanks everyone!! Back-to-back hat-tricks! Yay!
*noms cookie*
*makes the rounds*
*squeeze, squeeze, squeeze…*
Hats off to AA!
*Squeeze*
Wooohooo!
*classy squeeze for AA*
*pops more champagne*
*shakes bottle to make a champagne fountain*
Congrats, sweets!! *smoooooOOoooch*
Cookies! *Eyes cookies suspiciously*
Dark-side-free cookies?
*Grabs cookie and noms anyway*
The only thing dark about these cookies are the dark chocolate chips! Have some more.
Are these giggly like Arthurs’?
*moves ‘ to appropriate position*
I don’t think so. I’ve never nibbled Arthur’s cookies.
I don’t remember much about the experience. But I do remember it was pretty funny!
Congrats AA!!!! *confetties the blog*
*throws more confetti*
*sets up Lawrence Welk’s bubble machine*
Oooooh! Bubbles! Try and catch them!
*jumps up and down, reaching for bubbles, and popping each one*
Thanks, fluffy, Lurk, Judy! What a festive atmosphere! I really wish I could stay…unfortunately this is going to be a busy afternoon for me. I trust you will keep the party hopping and wiggling in my absence.
*wheels out the champagne cart*
*squeeze*
Congrats! What is this, two? Or three?
*grabs two bottles and shakes them*
*gives them to granny to open*
*runsawaywithaseriousquickness*
Hop hop hop.
Yay AA!
We’re really stretching to get new failures up aren’t we?
See that lil red square on the top right of your window? Click it.
♪Takes nothing to realize you’re Ken♪
With a comment like his, I’ll just assume he’s a Windows Vista user too.
If you’re unhappy with the results, be proactive. Submit fails you find. Vote on the vote page. This place is interactive!
He could always send in his family photos!
Or pics of his ex, Barbie trying to cook. Barbeque anyone?
Barbeque??
*brings the sheep Arthur shagged*
I think he is done with this one. Have at it!!!
That would be Divorce Barbie. (Comes with alimony and all Ken’s stuff.)
That was actually one of Barbie’s ‘friends’ Alimony Amy.
Ask not what failblog can do for you – ask what you can do for failblog.
Powered by our handsome Admiral!
.
Congrats!
Way to go, AA!!!! *tosses confetti*
*adopts a street*
*Lynches 4th graders*
*adjusts thong*
*SNORK!*
Thanks Velvet and mrs_z!
*SQUEEZES*
*squeezes back*
*leaves the front for DW*
Congrats Admiral!
*siigh*
Did Admiral tell you that Aja powered his third fail yesterday?
Saw it. I guess my best times are behind me. *sniff*
Now that comment is sure to power a fail someday!
So says the sheep you shagged Arthur.
That was baaaaaad.
Oops, and I thought it tried to say “Baaaaby”.
Four legs good, two legs behehehettter.
Awww, I’m sorry, Arthur.
*squeeze!*
*squeeze*
You deserve it!
Tanks, AE. For the record, my Firefox is having performance issues with Failblog today, too, and Gravatar seems to be having trouble serving up our images.
*sends more power*
Could you please repeat that?
Did he say the “i” word and not get moderated?!?
He was moderated, hence the double posting.
That is proof I needed to scroll just a little bit more than I did!
Capt’n we. need. more. POWER.
Tanks, AE. For the record, my Firefox is having performance issues with Failblog today, too, and Gravatar seems to be having trouble serving up our imäges.
*sends more power*
I’ve been having problems with both today too.
*feels a disturbance in the force*
Have you had the second tab from Lijit Search (sp?), too?
Nope, just slow page loads and Gravatar problems. Now that I’m on Safari only the Gravatar problem remains.
Aw…poor Arthur.
Oh, and…*POUNCE!!!*
*FAIR CATCH!!!*
That was some hang time!
The Matrix…let me show you it.
That is the BEST use of “bullet time” I can think of.
I also admit to loving the sappy slowing-down-of-time scenes in Star Trek Insurrection.
The Powers That Be have moved a few things around lately, maybe there’s another change in the works. That sometimes messes things up for a while.
haha. fun to be him.
That was kind of a weird fail. But I was happy to see yet another European video!
i totally out-firsted all u bishes.
neener neener neener !!!!
Your life’s goal has been accomplished…this is the very height and breadth of your personal achievement. Congratulations. You may now go back to sitting on your ass in front of your tv and playing WoW knowing that you will never again in your entire life reach such heights of power, intellect, and satisfaction.
OH S-NAP!
I just read that several of the astronauts from the Apollo missions suffered from depression after they had achieved their goal. Poor Weinie!
Was the goal to poo so much that they clogged the space potty?
The Apollo missions took place in the 1960′s and 1970′s.. it’s not their poo that clogged that toilet..
[/nerd]
What! Don’t bother me.
Bigger name in the other line…
Yay Admiral! *Confetti*
You can almost see the snubbed guy’s lower lip quivering, can’t you?
He looks flabbergasted!
I felt sorry for him.
Wow. Pwned.
Nice to meet you..
Never mind, he looks French
What if they wore them in the summer? Sexy?
Nope. Imägine the smell…
No. I don’t want to.
Once you got past the smell you would have it licked.
Uhhh…
*speechless … flees thread*
Were we talking about a foot fetish right?
Not even remotely close.
Then I think I am way off?
reminds me of a story about how elders told us to lick the fat of a cooking skunk. They said it keeps the misquotes away.They said if you get past the smell you have it licked.
Moonboots, a micro-mini, and one of those teeny tiny cropped jackets, I’ll bet. What is the point?!
Men like oddly shaped women?
With nasty cases of frostbite?
It depends where the cold spot is.
…I assume.
If it’s a prostitute it makes sense cuz it’s always exposed to the elements.
But friction generates quite a bit of heat.
Mmmmm. Friction. Good.
Especially with chocolate on it … Mmmmmmm…
That guy must be from Narnia.
I was LOOKING for you! My hands are cold!
*puts on fluffy’s mittens*
You have hands?
We’re always giving fluffy a hand.
*claps for fluffy*
In more ways than one!
*gives fluffy a hand in the kitchen*
Sounds like a job to me
I’m here for you
That’s kinda creepy Fluffy Mittens – how long have you been sitting in the sidelines?
too many winters i’d say
Politics: like high school, but with faker @$$ kissing.
And better food.
Don’t forget the booze.
You do remember it was a politician who said ketchup counts as a veggie in school lunch lines right? They might have the same cafeteria supplier.
Good point.
I’ll amend my statement to what Leila said! They have better BOOZE!
Well of course! And after the mojitos make thier way around we’ll vote on that tougher drunk driving law!
Double standards and irony abound!
Ouch. That was cold as ice!
He was willing to sacrifice their love.
I know. I’ve seen it before.
It happens all the time.
He’s closing the door.
He leaves the world behind.
He’s digging for gold.
But someday he’ll pay.
*attempts to insert “…and throwing away/ a fortune in feelings…”
ahead of ZA’s post*
*fears it may be too late*
Aw…He looks so dejected.
It’s old. But is Gold.
SOLD!
Foretold….
Don’t be so bold.
BOLD? That was cold.
SYN
SYN+ACK
RST
There was a man-in-the-middle attack.
TTL (Time-to-leave) field reached zero?
*shrug*
Not a day for TCP/IP humo(u)r I guess.
SIKE!!!
SHAKE BOY SHAKE!!!
bad dog
*shakes for granny*
Whoooooooooooooo!!!!!
Well hey there…
Ooopsy!! I didn’t know someone else was watching.
*puts on trenchcoat*
Larger audience in 3…2…1..
I brought popcorn!
What are we watching?
I thought we were watching you. What are you doing in the audience? Git back up there on stage and shake it, girl!
I will if you do too.
*closes video camera*
No worries…I got it all. I’ll post it up to youtube so you can watch it again and again and again and again…
AH! That’s our Prime Minister, José Socrates.
Yeah, he’s a bit of a Fail himself too. However, he’s also the best we have for now.
Will there ever be politicians that aren’t walking fail?
There used to be…
I believe that Unicorns existing is a much more probable thing.
Many philosophers consider unicorns to sub-exist in some sense, maybe there’s hope for politicians yet!
Glue a bulls horn on a horse. Done.
Glue bull on the matrix. Descartes.
Are you putting Descartes before the horse?
I Kant tell, but the donkey is 3 feet in the air due to the overloaded cart again.
He’s so Jung to be working so hard.
Yeah, he’s going to get red Marx on his hands from working like that. He should wear some gloves to (Kierke)gaard his hands.
Who are these philosophers? Things exist or they don’t. Ain’t no in between.
Schrödinger disagrees.
Things can exist in different forms. A dead cat exists just as much as a live one, just the dead one is dead and the live one is alive. In short, everything exists.
Yes but the cat exists as a dead cat. It’s when we got into leprechauns and unicorns and such that my philosophy kicks in. But I guess things can exists mentally too but where do we draw the line? Does EVERYTHING exist?
It could, but there’s no way to know what exists and what doesn’t because we are not omniscient. With one possible exception.
Je pense, donc je suis.
I have a different theory. That existence is based on our own scopes. What I haven’t seen or interacted with does not exist. What value does something have if you’re never going to see it, or it’s never going to have any significance in your life? It doesn’t exist.
I’m pretty sure my mother exists even though you haven’t seen her. Just sayin’.
My mama too!
*bites tongue so no errant “yo mama” jokes slip out*
How about sound waves? I never saw them. Don’t exist.
Ever see a picture of a jet passing the sound barrier? If taken at the very right moment you can see it!
It being the barrier breaking. It looks almost like a cloud. A small localized cloud that appears and disappears all in a moment’s time.
… but if you blink at just the wrong time, you don’t see it … therefore, if you blink at the wrong time, the sound barrier doesn’t exist?
Nobody has ever “seen” anything. It’s just a bunch of synapse firings in the brain! You all are part of my elaborate hallucination. When I wake/sober up, I will find myself in the real universe, in which we all look like muppets, and count to 10 all day.
I see what you did there.
Oh really? What did I do? I didn’t understand my comment at all, did you?
*good morning/evening squeeze*
♫ Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? ♫
I’m so down with being a muppet!
Nightshayde, pictures have the added benefit of still being there after you blink!
And Brewski, I thought when I woke/sobered up, everyone would look like tralfamadorians, existing in all times at once!
I only said that so you wouldn’t disappear in a puff of non-existence, Brewski!
And yes, of course I’d like to look at it. I created a FAQ page for the failpeeps blog, but there’s nothing on it yet.
But all of the universe is interconnected. Everything has some sort of effect on your life, no matter how small it may seem.
I suppose so. Sometimes I just want to know what effects these are.
Depend on what reality you accept first.
Depends* like the underwear.
Solipsism is a tricky theory, and seems both lonely and arrogant at the same time. Which is odd, because youseem to be neither of those things.
Yeah, the “I am the center of the universe” theories don’t sit well with me, either. I like how Donne looked at it much better.
“Any man’s death diminishes me
Because I am involved in Mankind.”
I can be a walking contradiction at times.
I never bought the whole “je pense donc je suis” thing. A dog turd, for example, doesn’t think, but it exists because it squishes in our toes when we step in it.
:sickmrgreen:
How do you know? Do hallucinations “exist”? Do dreams?
Are being and existing the same thing? I am because I think. That I exist is another matter. So the dog turd exists, but doesn’t have being.
*acknowledges that this may make no sense*
Makes sense to me.
*squeeze*
*squeezeback*
Thanks!
I followed it, but I have no answer for you.
*pondersqueeze*
In this context, they are essentially the same thing. Does the dog poo exist? There is no way to know for sure. Senses can be tricked, but self-awareness (according to Descartes) cannot.
*squeezes all around*
Philosophical discussions can be so much fun!
(and no, that isn’t sarcasm)
Let’s say for the sake of argument that I have been in a horrible accident of some kind and am essentially brain dead, am I being? Do I even exist? My body does, sure. But do I? But are we our bodies?
Maybe. It’s impossible to know. Heck, I can’t even be sure you exist even now. The only thing I can possibly be reasonably assured of is my own existence.
@ Hammykins: I think Descartes was overgeneralizing. Apparently in France way back when everyone picked up after their dogs?
I never got into epistimology in college. It seemed like a pointless exercise. It also inevitably got wrapped up in religion, because you have to start with a foundation, and in my opinion many philosophers built that foundation on a divine belief. I always based my view of the world on science.
I read that at first as “episiotomy,” and was horribly confused (and vaguely uncomfortable).
I read it that way too.
*snork*
…And, ow.
I myself am agnostic. Science is cool, but not 100% guaranteed. Math is the only thing I am willing to accept as absolute fact.
I’ll have none of your weird, math-magic. I accept that it works, but I’m pretty clueless as to how.
If you really want to know something about the world and people who live in it, read their stories.
Of course, it’s impossible to get anything done if you actually put such a nihilistic view into practice. That’s why it’s essentially an irrelevant issue.
I like to question things, all things. So existential conversations are right up my alley. All things mathematical? Not so much. I can figure out a tip I can figure out how much my list of groceries are gonna cost me. Other than that, I need paper, pencil and a ridiculously long time.
I was fond of math up through and including trigonometry. It always made sense to me, and I liked that you could work backwards to check your answers. Once I got to calculus though, all bets were off. Calculus just didn’t work for me in the slightest.
I love science — started college as a chemistry major until the calculus tried to kill me. That’s when I totally changed gears & wound up majoring in Medieval British History.
I was always good at writing papers, but I never liked reading things I “had” to read — hence, the literature thing wouldn’t have really worked for me. I love Shakespeare, but I prefer to read it/view it on my own terms.
I think it is great how differently all of our minds work. I can remember stories and things that will touch people. Ask me the date that I met them or even what time it is right now and I am lost.
I love this whole conversation, but I think that we are forgetting something about Descartes teaching on existence. He questioned the base of all things his own existence, once satisfied that he existed he worked his way back to pretty much all things exist, shame everyone cuts him down to his origin all the time. Loved philosophy, going to enroll in another next semester.
Most people can agree on the cogito ergo sum argument, because it is deductive rather than perceptive. Problems arise when he brings God into the matter and then begins to rely both on deduction and perception.
God or his idea of it was merely established in his questioning, if he was just an instrument of torture by a demon, demon must have the counter. Thereby arising the God. Problem was, that him thinking discredited the existence of the demon, or more rather focused that he was actually there thinking or being tricked into thinking about the demon. So he accepted the demon before he proved it… I don’t know if I communicated that properly. In the end what matters is that from proving that since he thought he existed he worked forward, using logical induction (yes I know sounds like an oxymoron) and went out to prove that since he could think and trick other beings, well they must try to think and not be tricked. So therefore, most beings existed, sadly this allowed for instincts to be qualified as a thought process.
I’ve never actually studied philosophy, but I will be taking it next year at school (required course for IB) and am kind of looking forward to it.
You would be surprised at how much you learn about yourself taking one course, though I still have failed to classify myself. Being a math and science fanatic makes me worry about this from time to time.
Interesting thread. “I think, therefore I am.” I always append this to read “I think I am, therefore I am”. Perceptions are constucts of the mind. A web page doesn’t exist until we see it. Then still, we’re not sure what we’ve seen because our preconceptions color our perceptions. David Icke has a good handle on this.
Sub-existance refers to the linguistic difficulty in calling the statement “unicorns do not exist” true while in the same act nullifying your subject. If there are no unicorns there is nothing for that statement to refer to and it therefore cannot be true.
You’re a double fail for consider the best.
Mere opinions.
We obviously disagree in some points, but I’m not gonna discuss politics here.
However, he’s also the best we have for now. <- FAIL.
o gajo é um burro. não consigo imaginar um pior que ele.
tens o amigo dele o pinho
e a ministra da educaçao
I rarely laugh at fails. But I laughed here… This is hilarious! But I’m not quite sure who’s failed!?
We all do man, we all do.
I only “do” women.
And sheep, according to a number of comments here!
Whoa!!
DirtyGreat minds think alike.Massive html fail…. maybe if I added / somewhere?
There is a shortage of good / lately. I feel your pain chez.
Muahaha!the suffering will pass.Hey, I ran into this gathering of /’s, if anyone wants some. They were grouping together down the street, looking like they were planning something unfriendly.
.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Hoodlums.
*grabs a few //////////* TY ZA.
You are my most favorite Zombie ever.
Thank you good sir, I should be able to put some more
lifesubtleties into my comments with these.It’s alive! It’s alive!
♪Weird science!♪
It was a woman in a white fur jacket. From a distance she looked like a sheep.
As long as there were no moonboots involved, we’ll let it slide!
I don’t know about that Avis. Did she attend Bah Ram U?
Baa-ram-ewe.
Baa-ram-ewe.
To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true.
Sheep be true.
Baa-ram-ewe.
Baaaa
… sheep.
I love when FB meets real life!
OMG!!! I wish he would have taped that whole exchange. LOL!!
*Chuckles*
That’s awesome. I would love to see that.
*RIGL*
…and you accepted!!!
No. Despite some of my comments here I’m fond of female humans only.
Of course you didn’t Arthur. I was only poking fun @ you.
*poking…heeeheeee*
Remind me not to look at Sushi w/eel.
*snork*
Wow. That would be creepy. What do you say to that?
I laughed for the rest of the night!
Makes you wonder if that’s something she does often. Or if she was serious, if you had accepted, how much would she charge?
I think she was just quick witted.
She sounds intelligent enough to have a different profession, although probably she would have to take a pay cut.
What else could be said to something like that?
Anyone explain why she suddenly has a strong British accent in my head?
Some like the job, intelligent or not.
You don’t know where Arthur lives?
*Rolls in ZA’s grave laughing*
*figures probably wasn’t said in English at all.*
*has no idea what it would sound like in German*
This is what I feel like when the perfume ladies attack at the mall.
I love umlauts. They give swearwords an extra foreign zing.
My sister-in law gave my sone a deck of “swear cards” 53 cards ewach with a different swear word in 5 different languages. Very funny.
Arthur, on a serious note-a radio host was ranting and raving about how people have given Amsterdam such a bad name because all they know is the red district and drug. He talked about all the other nice things about it – the historical buildings, flowers and art…
…hur? YAY!
Also serious: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with prostitution, as long as it’s unforced, of course. Where I live it’s normal and widely accepted. The prostitutes pay taxes, get health care and have social security. What’s the big deal? It happens anyway, politicians should try to make the work conditions as good as possible and fight forced prostitution and all that goes with that.
Oh, and yes, Amsterdam is beautiful and most of the people living there are relaxed and kind folks. I love Amsterdam!
What a woman wants to do with her body is her own business, right? Not gonna judge.
Leila, I went on a wonderful trip to Amsterdam and the radio host is right. The museums and architecture are absolutely amazing. It was such a wonderful city. I didn’t spend any time in the red light district, and I
smoked alot of potdon’t know what you are talking about with the drug thing.I agree, Amsterdam is the second bestest town I’ve seen, Deck.
I still haven’t been there.
Oops, forgot to change my name back. I’m curious, what is the bestest town?
I’m guessing it’s his very own…am I right?
Of course.
I envy you living in a city you consider beautiful. The town I live in has absolutely no remarkable features whatsoever. It’s named Rolling Meadows and we don’t even have any meadows.
They rolled away?
It’s not only beautiful, even though the war and modern architecture left their marks, it is cool and ROCKS! I consider myself lucky!
*sigh*
*wishes he lived in Europe*
Crappy Rolling Meadows
I like the names given to subdivions that are so far off the mark. Anything that has “forest” in the title for one. And living in Illinois, anything that has “heights” or “cliffs” or “peaks” are vastly amusing.
Don’t get me started about the city I live in. *sigh*
I like where I live.
Now if I can just control the weather…
Avis, I know exactly what you mean. Rolling Meadows is right next to Arlington Heights and Hoffman Estates. You couldn’t find three bigger shitholes.
There, there…
*pat pat pat*
I’m sure you won’t have to live in Texas forever.
I’ll be going on the job market soon, and I’ll say this right now–the universities I apply to will be chosen as much for their location as for how good their English department is. I would sooooooooooo love to apply for jobs in the UK, but I’m pretty sure they aren’t that interested in importing American Shakespeare scholars. *sigh*
Try it, Dragon! They can’t say more than “no”.
I think I will. There are usually year-long visiting professorships at most UK universities…I could always go for one of those.
Woo, DW! How could they not want you?
If you make it over, you should definitely look us English bloggers up.
DoitDoitDoit!
*goodnightsqueeze*
G’night AE.
*squeeze*
Hee…! I’ll see what I can do.
G’night, Arthur…I’m so glad you were around today!
*sleepygoodnightsqueeze*
Starfish you can always to come the Europe of Tx…Austin.
Don’t do it Starfish. Stay away from TX.
We had plans to move to Texas. I’m glad they fell through…
(Shhh! Don’t tell the hubby!)
I’ve lived in Houston(Channelview) and Dallas, hated them both. SO glad I got out of there.
LOL the Europe of Texas. I have a friend who lives in Austin. He likes it. I’m stuck right where I am for a while. My inlaws live here, all of them. Within a five minute drive. The inlaws. All of them. Five minutes.
Mine are about 200 yards away. I feel your pain. We moved here and they followed us.
Austin’s not bad. You couldn’t get me to move there right now. It’s way too close to some of my extended family and just far enough away that when they did visit it would be an overnighter. And they would visit a lot.
My husband’s company is opening a new office in Texas, and is giving its employees the option of transferring there. I told him if he moves to Texas, our phone bills will go way up — there’s no way in Hades I’m moving to Texas. Luckily, I think he’s even more against the idea of moving to Texas than I am.
I would be forced to do harm to myself or others. It wouldn’t be pretty.
There are cool things to do and see in Texas. It’s just that the people get in the way of all that!
(that was a broad generalization, I know)
Nightshayde…I’m beginning to suspect that we are twins that were separated at birth.
I was born in Irving – outside of Dallas. But have been a Midwestern girl since I was four and all my family is from the Detroit area. So I do not consider myself a Texas girl. But it is funny how people from Texas change when I say I was born there.
In that case, DW, we might be part of triplets. LCB and I have figured out that we were twins, separated at birth. Welcome to our family!
I know these are incredibly broad generalizations and that there are exceptions (Austin probably being one of them), but there are a number of reasons why I would not function well there:
1. Not Christian enough (well – not Christian at all, but I think that counts).
2. My hair isn’t nearly big enough.
3. I’m FAR too liberal on a wide variety of social issues.
4. I’m FAR too in favor of gun control.
5. I’m not all that into football (though I could learn – I am a big sports fan in general).
6. I don’t particularly want my daughter to be a cheerleader.
7. The humidity would kill me if any of the other factors didn’t.
I am going to San Antonio for my 1st Texas trip this summer. You guys are making me nervous.
8. I don’t like wearing lots of makeup, and I despise wearing foundation. I occasionally wear mascara (mostly only if I know someone is going to be taking pictures which include me), and rarely wear lipstick.
9. Not being within an easy driving distance of a Disney park would make me very very sad. I love being able to pop down to Disneyland for a day & being able to get home at a reasonable hour.
Texans (Is that the Proper term?) like to fight. So be prepared to see one…. Or sixteen.
I’ve heard that San Antonio is beautiful & interesting. There are a number of things I’d like to see in Texas in passing — living there though, not so much.
*is very happy to have two new sistahs!*
I would like to be able to say that I have visited every U.S. State. I am only on like 6 or 7 so I have some work to do.
I was also born in Texas. Dallas to be exact (Methodist Hospital to be excruciatingly exact). And most people are floored to find that out. We moved when I was five. Elsa, you might be MY long lost twin! And the reasons for not moving there that Nightshayde gave are pretty spot on!
I’ve driven through Texas a couple of times. My advise would be to do just that. Drive through Texas. Stop only for gas and a steak.
This guy is the biggest fail in the history of Portugal:
1) He has an engineer degree taken through a fax machine
2) The brits suspect he received money to shorten a protected natural park in order for an Outlet be built.
3) He doesn’t approve laws to fight corruption in Portugal
The list goes on and on and on
Enquanto a Oposição não for melhor, continuamos com ele.
deixa o sair do poleiro qe alguem lhe arranja un lugar na prisa
Mas há alguém melhor que ele neste momento?
check out^
E VIVA PORTUGAL!
VIVA LA VIDA LOCA!!!
Earworm alert!!!
Thanks for bring it to our attention, we might have been able to block it if you hadn’t! :p
♪ Upside, inside out she’s livin la vida loca
She’ll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her skin’s the color mocha
She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!
Livin la vida loca, Come on!
She’s livin la vida loca. ♪
*thwacks Leila with a shellacked minnow*
Meanie!
Viva la revolución, Avis!
OW!
OW!
*looks for Avis and sees coast is clear*
*ahem*
*flees thread*
Everytime I hear that song, I hear William Hung sing “She bangs”
I recommend you flee as well unless you want to be thwacked with a shellacked minnow on principle. Come with me.
I would take her advice!
*weilds a shellacked minnow menacingly*
*grabs Leila’s arm*
Ruuuuun!! Or walk very quickly and show me where to hide, please.
*hiya! Leila and Avis*
Off topic rant: Shit… I’m sitting here in the lab waiting for this participant i’m experimenting on to be finished and my girlfriend who kindly agreed to pick me up today will likely be waiting a half hour or more past when I said I’d be out. I can’t call her because my phone is dead and the lab phone doesn’t make calls to phones outside campus, and if I leave to tell her what’s taking so long and the participant comes out expecting me to be there I fail my lab practicum course. They’re touchy about thier participant data… @@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, better now. Thank you.
You welcome.
She’ll understand, I’m sure. I have had to wait for my husband for hours before because of stupid people, and although irritated, I know it’s not his fault. Unless it is. Then I’m just pissed.
thanks
Technically i’m now 15 minutes past my time to clock out and he’s still on the second survey. Looks like I’m cooking dinner again tonight.
Can you send someone outside to give her the message? Like WIK said, she would understand.
If there were anyone else here they’d be running the participant, but yeah, I should be ok. Might take the bus home if she’s left already when I get out.
A text message via internet to her phone mayhaps?
We are all so helpful here, can I just say: I love this place. ♥
You guys are the bestest!!!
No…you are!!
If you have yahoo messenger, you can send a text message to a phone number. The phone does not need to connect to the internet.
Same for various email providers.
Failing all else, send smoke signals!
Carrier pigeon?
I got it – call the campus radio station (on-campus number, right?). Ask them to broadcast the message and tell all students listening to look for your girlfriend and pass it along if they see her.
Oh, then this isn’t necessary anymore…
*puts away bow and arrow with message*
Ouchie. She would have really gotten the point with THAT message.
Yeah, it makes me quiver just a little to think about that!
I’m sure all is well. Maybe she’ll dress up a little for dinner and chez can tell her that she looks fletching!
Thanks a lot everyone, I got home (with her) and am now making quiche for lunch. Had to (crossbow) bolt out of the lab to make it so she didn’t get a ticket for sitting there.
So morse code on congas is out of the question?
*puts away Ricky Ricardo congas*
LMAO!! I can’t believe you fell for it.
I can’t see it the name when I hover.
Hey, gang, Leila’s hovering naked again!
I think you have me mistaken with Ms B.
*sigh*
*snork*
You may as well own it with pride and glory, Ms B…you’re stuck with it!
I don’t mind owning up to it, I guess. I just don’t know how this all happened! I really am quite the prude IRL…
Me too Ms B. You won’t believe it when I say this but I am quite shy. But this is the internet … we will just let loose (a little).
*squeeze*
However, if it bothers you for real, I will stop.
No worries. I doesn’t bother me. I’ll just embrace it!
*streaks through the thread*
*snork*
*squeeze*
I’m not at all shy IRL, but that doesn’t mean I’d go streakin’! :p
Well, allrighty then!!!!! …and don’t get all worked up when I get my camera out … I mean, when Lurk gets her camera out.
Oh wow, that would drive me buggy. Of course it’s all OS and browser dependent, but I’ll bet there’s an option to view it. Maybe in the status bar, which may be hidden? Google is your friend in cases like this.
It’s kinda like driving with the windshield blacked out. Fun for a while, but you can’t see the expression on the people’s faces as you run them over.
dang! that guy should whip his ass!
Sex isn’t always the answer.
Yes it is. A little whooping doesn’t hurt either.
*Gets gimp suit ready*
What is gimp suit?
Google it
*snork*
Perhaps.
*snork*
You guys are so bad. Only clickie I can get in to safely today was about the fire in Paris.
*RIGLMAO*
I only know what a gimp suit is because I’ve completed GTA San Andreas. Amazing what you can learn from a video game.
Watch Pulp Fiction. That works too, frightening.
And I agree with Leila’s *snork* for perhaps.
No, its 42.
Bummer.
It’s almost noon, I should probably get off my ass and get something done today. *squeezesallaround*
I will probably be back later!
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Getting stuff done is overrated!
Please do come back. *squeeze*
See ya later, WIK-i-gator!
“Whoops, wrong one!”
Jut popped in to say that I succesfully asked that H.D.’s name (the bully) be removed from yesterday’s thread, as I have been consumed by remorse all day.
*pours ashes over head and hits chest*
Aww czuhc. Cute, but unnecessary.
I agree with Arthur, but I fully support assuaging your guilty conscience. *Giggles again at H. D.’s hairline*
Don’t worry. We’ll never tell that you told!
Agreed. I’m glad you did it, if it makes you feel better, but you can leave the ashes and sackcloth at home.
*squeeze*
You can borrow my hair shirt.
*takes off hair shirt airmails to czuhc*
You have earned 7 respect points.
Guys, it’s been real, it’s been fun.
But like WIK, I need to get stuff done.
Laundry and shopping are among my goals;
Handshakes for all the FBers,
hand-psyches for all the trolls!
Is that Bernard Kouchner?
that is the portuguese prime minister! xD
m prime minister actually it’s always good to see portuguese fails! xD
Yeah, but I’d like to see portuguese wins ^^
PORTUGAL <3
A great performance by Mr Socrates, the portuguese Prime Minister, the same man who got his University Degree strangely aproved and signed on a Sunday, when the University was closed. Great one!
Have you heard about that (clicky)? Now that’s a fail!
French? Army?
*giggles a bit*
But I did like the pretty bright burning pics
Have they surrendered yet?
OHMIGOODNESS!!!! Call 3333!!
FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
Where’s the extinguisher???
*looks frantically for the little hammer*
*sees that the little hammer is inside the glass*
*has sold the extinguisher*
*feels guilty*
Quick, search the venomous reptiles room and behind the hand rail!!
*wakes up sleeping cowokers*
Come on! We have to run and run and run as fast as we can!
*Rubs eyes*
Is it 5 o’clock?
Don’t panic guys! The alert is only on ‘very high’ not ‘critical’.
Gid oud, gid oud, dere’s a bomb in dere.
(bad Arnold Swartzenegger impersonation)
remember, safety is 3rd
Call the firemen!!! — these would do nicely I think ..
h t t p : //www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/23/five-alarm-hotties-vote-o_n_243556.html (remove the spaces in the h t t p etc….
Yummy! Can I get two orders, please? My
bedroomtown could use a little firefighter magic.Makes me wanna eat a firehouse sub. (from a resteraunt)
Makes me want a firehouse man (from a firehouse)
*drooooooooollllll*
I am a little suprised to see you still floating around here this late Fluffy.
*waves hi*
OMG I had a toy gun when I was about 6 or 7 that would say that.
FIRE *Gun sounds*
FIRE FIRE *More gun sounds*
FIRE *Even more gun sounds*
FIRE *Mom threatens that I’ll hear REAL gun sounds if I don’t put that toy away*
Sacre bleu!!! wat iz dis???
♪Me mind on fire — Me soul on fire — Feeling hot hot hot
Party people — All around me feeling hot hot hot ♪
Lol. That’s pretty awesome.
Would probably be funnier if the valley I live in wasn’t currently burning to a crisp, but hey, one can’t help when a humourous French Army Fail will come along.
You can’t put a damper on our fun.
I wasn’t intending to. I was just saying. My personal enjoyment is lessened, because of the situation here. If it wasn’t for the craziness here, that would be hilarious.
*pat pat* I wish you the best possible outcome in your situation. Stay safe, we need you to keep failing!
abstract, i just gotta ask…what is your avi? looks like a paper bag to me when small, and when i enlarged it i couldn’t tell.
*believes it’s an abstract, hence…nevermind.*
do’h! Sorry
How does one keep failing and stay safe?
*scratches head*
That is a very good question. Perhaps with the Trojan fail from the other day? That’s a pretty safe fail.
Sorry Chan…I was just punning with the “damper” “fire” thing. Hope the fire thing gets under control.
Sorry. Testy today.
It’s just been one of those weeks. The air here sucks, everyone is crabby… Didn’t mean to pass the b!tchiness along. 
I’m stuck listening to the radio at work, and all day it’s “New evac orders out for the following areas… Be careful of the lightning storm rolling into town… Lightning strikes have started two more fires in the vicinity…”, interspersed with frantic people calling in with barely coherent information. It wears on the nerves.
I can !magine it would be hard not to spread the b!tchy.
*squeeze*
*Squeeze*
Hahahaha DENIAL!
“Why, hello there! Nevermind, F&$# you.”
DENIED.
Remember if you shake more than 3 times you are just playing with it.
lol!! it’s true
hi, anyone still here?
No.
I’m back! ran out of paint
*supplies paint* here ya go….it’s bright pink, it’s all I had. hope it’s ok…. *stashes all paint which is less vibrant* you’ll love the color!!
I tried it, but it made me think of pepto bismol. ewww. I think I will stick to a half-painted room, but thanks anyway.
Are any of us “here?”
On that note, it’s time to head home. Have a great afternoon/evening/whatever!
bye! have a good evening!
bye
TTFN ♥
i beg to differ
hey abstract — what’s shakin’?
I missed everything today
Insomnia makes for some weird schedules, you know.
*hiya!*
hi!! ooooh, you are sordid now? me likes!
yesterday, i had alot happen to me. someone ate my m’s and the took my ss’. then i was rearranged and given a pink snuggie Arthur thong (hence the \ /)
and thanks!
Which one was that again?
Never mind, I just remembered. It’s a good thing it got deleted, I don’t think the rating filter works on the vote page.
yeah, i guess not. i couldn’t belive it was even there. that was a good one to get the heart going!
oh, the one that said, something like extremely bad parenting fail or such the like…. there was akid in bed w/ mom & dad (assumed) and mom was spread eagle for the camera… i was shocked that this was even on the vote page. my face went red, and i navagated away from the page as i am at work and wish to keep my job.
I think I saw that one somewhere else. Not a pretty picture.
it would have been ok without the kid…and without the dad…and on a p*rn sight
I’m glad I missed it. There’s a line between sheltering your kids from all things sexual, and involving them. Sick.
Even worse? The fail was titled “Menage Fail”. It was about six different fails all wrapped up as one.
It was pretty gross. Avis, I added you on myspace. If you don’t accept me I will feel rejected.
Did you use a name I’ll recognize? I have a tendency to deny folks I don’t know.
I’ll go check now!
I changed my display name to WhatIKnow, (hint: I’m called Mrs.Robinson)
Add me, too! I’m on Avis’s friend’s list.
OK!
I found it! I left a message as well!
WIK will you be my friend too?
(I sound like an eight-year-old.
I want to be your friend, do you want to be mine?
(Check one)
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Maybe
WIK, I got a bunch of failbloggers on my friend list. Feel free to rummage through and add them all.
OK! But like Avis said, I am adding those who I recognize at failpeeps.
*wonders what my abandoned ‘myspace page’ currently looks like*
Dusty with a homeless man living in it?
The last house I owned had a basement that I was always afraid that some bum was going to move into. So I was afraid to go down there – and of course the longer I put it off the more determined my fear got.
Any of you have facebook? or use it? cause it would be much nicer to have a group dedicated to failbook friends.
I have a FBook account but it too may have a bum living in it. And a billion fake friends b/c I played Mafia Wars.
Social networking not really your thing, Jenny?
*hides in corner*
Actually I was happy w/ myspace until everybody left me. Went to FBook and added friends that I shouldn’t have got mad one day and never went back. I need to drop some dead weight – if you know what I mean.
I get your drift. A friend of mine made me a myspace.
I don’t understand that place.
Well if you were wondering pick my email off of aikis site and ill give you my real life name to add me on. Would like to have all of you by the end of it.
I added a few FB friends on FBook today. The new user name feature is useful!
I am going home.
Good night everyone.
night
goodnight!
d*mn double post!!!
night
not me, i’ll stay!…for 40 more min..
oh, you’re leaving! *headdesk* have a good one! *smooch*
can you guys believe that this portugal’s prime-minister
YES WE CAN
did his nad died?
can u say repost?
no
n
o i
yyyyyyyyyyyi i g g e r
well, it looks like everyone left. so i guess i’ll check in tomorrow, bye all!
You lousy hypocritical whining toadies with your lousy colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic handshakes!
How has no one mentioned this guy’s absolutely perfect unibrow?
*goes back to look*
*is stunned*
I have NO idea how we missed that! It’s a single, curved line! On his face!
Prime Minister snubs Unibrow. Wouldn’t this be a grave diplomatic incident?
Ahah, great no-comment from Euronews ! And no…that’s not ONLY because that’s where I work ! ;p
Adds good Arnold impersonation here:
Oops I was going to say that the impersonation starts around the 1 minute mark – but the whole clip is good to me.
This guy is really good! *snorkroffle*
Oh. My. God! That voice! When he does the voice without the facial expressions it just creeps me out!! It just seems… wrong!
Pablo Francisco is a great comedian, you should see his whole skit on the movies preview guy, or on Mexican people. Very talented, oh and his ecstasy at a nightclub and jakie chan.
*feels like a kid telling other kids about a new candy shop they never knew about*
I love Pablo’s comedy – saw him 3 times live. 2 of them were excellent. 1 of them he just couldn’t stop air humping and it got weird/boring.
Heee, I enjoy quite a few of the comedians out now, Jeff Dunham, pablo, dane (original skits) and Russel Obviously since he is a great representative of Canada’s talent.
Try this guy on for size – he was an English teacher so I thought of DW but couldn’t find any relevant material.
His name ^^^ is Kristian Vallee.
Hee! He’s right you know. Children’s rhymes are terrifying.
But the reason for the phrase “sleep tight” comes from the ropes that were used to support mattresses and had to be tightened on a regular basis.
I love Arnold impersonators.
Pablo seemed to do very well.
I’m told I can do a good Arnold but it’s kind of like being told your Missing Link Ape Child is a beautiful baby.
You are so weird Qwaz
Sócrates POW@@@@@@@@@@@
thats wat i tend to do wne i handshake
LOL epic Fail
“Hmm. Who can I test this new hand buzzer on? Oh, Here’s a good victim. Hehe- Oh Jeez! Unibrow! It’s gonna get me! Best try this on some other sucker…”
That was hilarious. What an ass.
FIRST
*THWACKS with the shellacked bull*
You did ask for it.
There’s a BULL now?
*In best hood voice possible* Girl, You is STRONG!
It’s a small bull, to be sure. But we acquired it when the bullfighter fail popped up.
Still, to be thwacked by a bull is to be told to get the hell out of here.
Hey! I used a whale once! But yeah, you’re not far off with that one.
Avis slinging bull around here is not unusual.
Hey, sweet stuff! How are things in your neck of the woods?
Getting better all of the time. Food is tasting more normal and I am off of two more pills. Despite the improvements I’ve been in a crumby mood for the past couple of weeks. Have you ever, for no apparent reason, just wanted to give the world a raspberry and tell it to go away?
Usually when I feel a bit too much pressure from the parents, I understand that feeling, but with the raspberry I would accompany 2 middle fingers. Maybe a s*ck it pelvic thrust.
V …. Kinda ruined the whole point of my post with that nesting fail.
Of course I have, coyote. And after everything you’ve been through, I’m not at all surprised that your mood is having a difficult time catching up to the goodness.
Don’t worry…if you raspberry me, I won’t take offense! *squeeze*
Sorry, I was an asshat up there ^^. I shouldn’t have interrupted, it was not my conversation.
My conversations are always open forum. Jump right in.
I can commiserate with you, coyote. I’m feeling a bit like that today, myself. I’m glad to hear of your improvements, though. Good news is something I needed to hear.
Perhaps it’s the nice weather we’ve been having Admiral. We are not used to it.
*puts out a big plate of yummy cookies*
*squeezes good friends*
Though I may not have presented myself as this, I am a good vessel for most people to vent into and sometimes I can offer some good advice. I don’t know if we are at that stage but do you want to share it Admiral? Maybe one of my moments can happen or someone can help. Just in case I think I might go first. PEOPLE DON’T FREAK OUT. Just something that has bogged me down for all my life I guess. I need to put this somewhere or my time is limited to how much I can take of it. Me and my father just do not get along and this hurts me, tears streaming as I am writing this. He wants me out/ has wanted me out for such a long time and I don’t know what I can do to fix things.
Don’t know if it is me or what, but well when I am accused of doing something wrong I am not allowed any chance to defend myself. Whereas it seems that my siblings get an open forum. Seems like all my life I have been striving to just get a positive compliment out of my parents. Though whenever I do something I feel was great, they just expected it and ask why I haven’t done better.
Sorry, my guise of positivity just wore off for a bit.
Did you just offer to help me with my problem and then dump your problem front and center?
I don’t have much of an appetite, but I never could resist nomming your cookies, DW.
Ya I know I am an idiot but this just followed my father tearing a strip out of me.
So what is bothering you?
Emperor, I feel you pain, this happened with my father and myself. When I was about your age too. I wish I could tell you that it will end soon. I don’t know what your situation is, so I can’t. Parents sometimes have issues with the fact that their offspring isn’t exactly what they expected. This is not to say that they’re disappointed, but just surprised maybe. My mother has expressed this to me on a few occasions. Not in a bad way, just conversation.
In chronological order:
Dragon, I was just at Graph Jam. Are you responsible for the “Why I Became A Professor” graph? If you haven’t seen it please do so.
Emperor, this may be something that he must fix himself. All things and people change with time. You may have to stop trying for a bit and let time do its thing. Do not blame yourself. A good quote from I know not who, “Be as good a friend to yourself as you are to others.” Close your eyes, take a deep breath and continue on.
Down at the bottom explains more.
Admiral…we can take this elsewhere. It’s pretty obvious that there is more ego here than shoulder.
>.< I was trying to direct it elsewhere to here his story….
Admiral, what’s wrong? Is it anything we can help with?
Emp- My parents declared me as ‘grown up’ some time around 13. The few time they intervened with my life after that was pretty harsh stuff. Then one day as a grown up my dad admitted 2 things. One was that because I was a good kid they didn’t know what to do when things went wrong – so they went into freak out mode. Second was that they were wrong letting me make all my own decisions.
Anyways, parents are people too, therefore they make mistakes and have biases. Try not to concentrate on how your parents interact with your siblings but really work at and talk with your parents about how to make your relationship with them better.
If you want to talk more I will make a way to do it.
Is there a specific cause Admiral or is it more of a Mal de Existence thing?
Thanks but direct all stuff for me to the bottom, this area is reserved for the Admiral. Cheap as it sounds now Admiral, please share what is bothering you.
*squeezes* for the Admiral.
I was thinking that they had performed a complete humorectomy on me and then Avis fed me whacking with a bull straight line. I feel much better now.
Well, laughter is the best medicine…
.
Somebody had to say it!
I’m here to help!
LOL!
How goes it Avis?
Oh, fine. I’ve been doing a LOT of cooking. Recently I’ve been making pesto at least twice a week. When basil goes out of season my step-father may cry.
How go things with you?
Better all of the time. I’ve been doing birthday baking. Cream puffs for my sisters 42nd. Before that I was honored by a friend of my eldest niece asking me to make here a cake for her 17th. Her parents are divorced with here dad in Alabama and her mom an abusive drunk. God knows how long its been since she had a cake. I did a heart shaped two egg cake with strawberry icing, white piping and strawberries between the layers and on top. Turned out nice. *tries not to sound surprised at that last bit*
You are the nicest guy! That sounds like a fantastic cake! I’m not at all surprised it turned out well, it was made with love!
*surreptitiously adds an “o” to the “to”*
*is not at all surprised either!*
You’re a batter man than I, coyote. So you used two layers to make two layers?
*is also not at all surprised either!*
Two cake pans for two layers.
I think the yolks on me.
Is this the beginning of a crumby food pun run?
*puts a flour bouquet on the table*
*rises as Dragon enters the room*
Stay a bit…don’t be leavening so soon.
A double pun is rare. Well done! Don’t you love this medium.
umm…..wow.
Covered on the daily show like 3 weeks ago.
Did you happen to catch the date in the vid?
I claim the 16th month as my own!
*plots holidays that fit into the month of Qwaz*
That happened to me once… I feel his pain.
@Avis: Did you have siblings that were held on comparative pedestals that if you were able to communicate properly would be debunked? Unfortunately I have what are made out to be 2 amazing brothers and the best sister in the world, with me lagging behind as dead weight. He makes it seem as if the family would have been better off without me.
Yea I get what you are saying jenny but the thing is there seems to be a one way flow of communication. I send up ok, yes, sure, in a second (hates this one), I get punishment both forms, and what seems general disappointment and threats of being thrown out of the house.
jennyisbusy@live(dot)com if you wanna. or anyone else that is friendly
I’m an only child, and my father made quite clear that he would have preferred a boy. I have it on good authority that his life would have been better had I not entered it. I consider it to be his loss. He and I may be talking now, but he’s something of an ass.
My little bro has had a similar experience, Emp. He’s the youngest of 8. The best thing for everyone was when he moved out. Space helps a ton.
I wouldn’t be able to make it, which is the reason he uses this threat.
He knows I can’t make it out there since he knows my income and he knows the places I would attempt to take shelter in. He even has mentioned time after time that he wouldn’t care if I moved out since I was a burden rather than a son. You know I have been threatened to shut my mouth with a butcher blade. I didn’t do the wrong thing, I was attempting to defend my own honour which he was insulting. Saying I did something wrong when I truly believe I handled the situation right. He told me to shut it or “So help him god”.
I told my brother this, and now I’ll share it with you. If you can’t afford it now, then use the situation as a motivation to make it happen. You can do anything you put your mind to. You have to work at it, and a lot of the time it sucks. But you are the only one who controls your destiny.
Fear still grips me though. If I move out, I am excluded, he will make sure of it. The other thing is all my checks go to my parents for them to take care of. So it is not like I have any savings to keep me going. I would be living check to check.
I am going to fall asleep sitting here, so I’m going to log off now. But if you need to talk more you can find me on Facebook. Do a search for MsB.squeeze (my username).
*smooches and squeezes all around*
He is good at manipulating how a situation played out to make it seem like I did the wrong. Like when I made the same joke that my brother made not 5 minutes earlier he slammed his fist on the table and made me grab the leftovers that was just passed over. For someone who cherishes equal and fair treatment, this is hard to accept. I don’t want to be given anything extra, I just want a level playing field. If something is wrong for the goose it should apply to the gander.
This is what I was saying before though – there is no level playing field.
Remember the fail of a field on a hill with the giant bush blocking the ball from going into the water (brother’s side) and your side would be the wide open one.
You are smart enough to see that he has the advantage – now it is your job to adapt and play the game smarter until you can get the hell out of dodge.
By the way it is not wrong to want a level playing field, the way you can be an amazing person is to get past that and make your way through life.
But in my situation, the bush is not always just a bush, it changes. Sometimes even becoming a wall blocking off even the exits.
I am not an only child, but i feel you on the “dad is an ass for wanting a boy” thing, Avis. I stopped talking to him for the better part of 5 years. It was like that until 2 months ago when i told him he is my father and like it or not he will talk to me. we are better now, we only talk to each other every so often.
Avis for what it is worth girls can give grandchildren. I have three girls and one boy. I am so looking forward to being a nishiimos(grandfather).
DISSED!
aw hahaha i feel bad for the guy who got psyched
SIKE!
late
It’s old. But is Gold.
Michael Jackson
That’s the portuguese prime minister xD
haha that just happened to my friend the other day only it was with a hug!!!
Portuguese FAIL ahahah
0.o totally owned…
xD It’s like Congrats! *puts out hand to shake* PYSCH! *pulls hand away*
ROFL!!
DISSED!
that’s my prime minister…
he SUCKS ASS!
what a 8===D
Dá-lhe, portugas!
Saudações brasileiras!
DENIED!
rejection XD
douche in his veins win
omg that is our(Portugal) Prime minister
And this is our prime minister… what a shame… this is what he did with our retirements/pensions…
too sloooow
not so fast
bah I don’t even know how this guy was elected in ym country. . .
anywayz, he shud fail mor ofen
olha quem é ele… o nosso Sócrates XD…
SÓCRATES! SÓCRATES!
Holy crap. He denied George Lucas a handshake!
i think this is more of a win
owned!
why do I feel so ashamed of my prime minister?
Sócrates, até no Failblog já apareces! HAHA
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