Tanning Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
LOL
first
I wanna bone u.
Your place or mine?
Both, You go to your place, I’ll go to mine.
cant you go to my place, and ill go to yours?
*calls Zoë*
Win.
Lock up the dark ones!!!
Ay ay ay. Muslim people are the best.
Seecurity has stopped me before!
I feel like giving someone’s behind a good tanning. FB regulars, where are you?
You can tan my behind, big boy.
I think they are all stunned into silence. That is an appalling piece of advertising.
*is speechless*
*is in shock*
It is very dark advertising.
*Is offended*
Like kannadzuki said it is border line dark katz not humour dark
sorry should of explained it more and sorry if I offended you.
Huh? Are you talking about Halifax? I think the sign is offensive and I’m not sure how you meant your “dark advertising” comment but it’s not very tactful.
No what you said Kannadzuki …V… it is not in good taste dark.My head thinks but fingers forgot to write it down. I was reading you synopsis of the fail.
I was referring to the fail, not you, dear. I should have placed my comment in a different way. My bad.
Let’s all have a big nice hug and forget about this
* kisses and hugs and forgets *
This is a racist-joke win. I don’t really see any fail here, only a joke put there by either a bunch of high schoolers or rednecks.
*wince*
Racism never wins, Hal.
It only never wins when used maliciously. I don’t think it is the case here.
Now…if it said “All y’all n***ers will be running here so fast you’ll be deported back to Kenya!” then it would be very terrible and fail.
The billboard doesn’t need harsh or explicit language to be offensive. Implying that darker skinned persons *should* be hassled at the border, or making it seem like an ordinary, everyday matter is bad enough.
Maybe it didn’t imply that dark people *should* be hassled at the border, but that they *are*?
I invite you to check out the definition of “cynic” in Ambrose Bierce’s “Devil Dictionary”.
I’m quite familiar with the Devil’s Dictionary. During my childhood, my father irritated me to no end with what, to him, were simple, humourous quotations but, to me, were a bunch of negative stereotypes dressed up as common sense truths (i.e. hating on lawyers, doctors, &c.).
I tried to be careful to state in my earlier comment that even if the billboard was meant in fun (which it undoubtedly is), implying an air of normalcy in an act of discrimination can be seen as offensive (my words were “…making it seem like an ordinary, everyday matter is bad enough”). Please pardon me for having an impaired sense of humour when it comes to normalisation (whether intended or unintended) of discriminatory behaviour. Having been that person in the airport (no tan necessary), it just rubs me the wrong way.
Yeah, because sometimes racism isn’t used maliciously?
Maybe you should check the definition of racism.
Maybe you should check the definition of humor, satirical humor to be precise.
And if pranksters caused this, they could be in for a serious lawsuit for losing that company business.
I don’t need a tan I am red/brown/black/white(speedo).
I might get a tan if all my bruises connect. They should NOT let drunk people climb 5-foot chain link fences, regardless of how bad they want to go swimming.
I thought that was thepurpose of having a fence there, ah well you live and learn.
K-k-k-katy, I feel there is a story here that should be shared. Lettuce start with: How drunk were you?!
Drunk enough that I played Cirque de Soleil on the fence…did the splits with my girl parts pressed against the chain link…didn’t feel the bruises til the next day
It was like college all over again! I’m too old to be doing that crap. No more Everclear for me!
Freaking owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww….
Everclear is bad mm’katy….
Oh, Katy, I have been there. I got stuck in rocks after a night with Single Barrel, I kept slipping every time I tried to stand up. After much laughter and about 1.5 hours I was covered in bruises.
Everclear is water here LOL.Whats everclear there?
Grain alcohol. I prefer mine in Hawaiian punch.
LOL, at first I thought you were implying that you thought Everclear was weak (like when people call weak beer piss-water). Everclear is 151-proof liquor.
Maybe you need to obtain some higher quality ‘They’.
Or learn to climb things properly when drunk.
Says the Irish dragon… Shocker!
Hey! You try flying when you’re…oh…sarcasm…right?
Coulda been worse. Back in the ’90s, a few drunken guys decided they wanted to go swimming, so they scaled a big ol’ fence . . . at the zoo. Binky the polar bear was not amused. One of the guys won a Darwin, and unfortunately for him, it *wasn’t* because he died. Binky used him as a chew toy, and, well, his groin will never be the same.
There is no such thing as “racist joke win”.
I know, sorry, I’m just having mood swings lately.
However, this isn’t really a fail, it’s more of a “Wow, that is really f’d-up” pictures.
How about public decency fail?
I’m sure this place is in redneck territory. There isn’t much public decency there anyways.
*sigh*
Rednecks are people too.
Is that what you’re sighing about?
Lumping people into categories is dangerous.
Oh, extremely. I mean, it can lead to violence. Look at the riots between the Uighurs and the Han in China.
True- mind you I don’t tend to fit in one…so am reasonably safe on that front!
Actually that’s part of the danger. People will just toss you into any old group they can.
Oh they try…….and fail! mwahahahaha
I hear you there, K@. I can almost hear the assumptions people make from taking one look at me. Boy are they ever surprised when they actually get to know me!
hypocrisy detector going off.
“Mood swings” are a poor excuse for the racist and bigot opinions you have been expressing. Not just on this fail, but on others, too. I have now labeled you in my mind as a racist troll and this will be the last time I will be talking to you.
This calls for a song:
Wooo
The horse is a noble beast
From the mustangs of the west
To the stallions of the east
But the horse has a distant cousin
It lives I-do-not-know-where
But it’s message of racial harmony is one that we all can share
Hats off to the zebras
They are black and white
But they don’t fight
‘Cos they’re not very good at it
Bill Bailey?
Yep! You know, you smell an awful lot like a fairy, for a dolphin!
*eyes dolphin suspiciously*
flipping fishy foiled ……feck
Nose like a blood hound! ….or a Dragon!
I love that Bill Bailey song, it always gets stuck in my head!
’cause Bela Lugosi’s dead
I’ll ‘ave ‘is chips then….
-fluffy
So basically you label me after viewing one post of mine. Judging from your post, I could label you as socialist who screams at senior citizens for putting a bottle in the paper-recyclbles bin. Then I could go on, call you a Communist troll, and never vow to talk to you again. But I don’t, because I know what a troll actually is (am I screwing up this board with loooooolz and FIRST! videos? no.) and can distinguish the difference between someone being diliberately racist (which I was not) and someone who doesn’t have just a one-dimentional sense of humor.
Reading comprehension fail. Fluffy plainly stated that her(?) opinion comes not just from this post, but from other comments of yours as well.
Aww hell, man. This is a commentary of how airport security tends to be more suspicious of darker-skinned passengers, it’s not saying that blacks deserve to be locked up.
Fluffy fail.
???
There there.
*squeeze*
You’ll win next time.
*tackles the moomin and gives him a big squeeze, then runs off not to be seen or heard from again for another several weeks*
*gets down on knees and shakes fist at the sky*
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Don’t worry fluffy. Duroc just failed to be you. It was bound to happen, no matter how much he tried.
I miss Brewski.
Is he there yet?….(said in whiny 5 year old voice)
I posted an update last night. He missed the typhoon, and made it to China ok, but can’t access failblog. It’s blocked. He was going to try from the factory, but thought he’d be too busy.
(notes Duroc’s daily appearance in Brewski’s absence.)
glad he is safe & sound, though with the karaoke not sure how safe his colleagues are.
*faints*
*fans k@*
The Chinese block FB?! I (FREE TIBET) wonder (HUMAN RIGHTS) why (DEMOCRACY).
omg thats just wrong LOL
if you have dark skin there is no need to be at ‘tan by design’…logic WIN!
i do believe that tans will last after you leave the place, honey
OMG JFK haz bad Taste!
You stupido Alternative personality, you Failed to Comment on the right Fail!!!!!
Its my right to fail /Bow /slap “you to other personality” /Bow
Kthxbay!
…did you have too much caffeine today?
You didn’t spell kthxbai correctly!
Maybe he needs more caffeine?
Nazi gnomes, GB!
*giggles* I just love your clickies! *squeeze*
Oh, that was still there?! I’d totally forgotten about those facist figurines.
*squeeze*
Looks like a win to me
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Never been to a tanning salon but when I see the name “Tan by Design” I get this silly idea that they do some kind of paint by numbers job on you before you go under the tanning lamp. What kind of “Design” would go into (or cause) a tan?
Etch a sketch tan?
That could work… but what if someone shakes you?
Redo from start……..
Could be paint by numbers?
Or numb by painters?
Pirate numblies?
Pilate bumblies?
Private rumblies???
Side gate tumblies?
Surrogate tummies?
I hate mummies?
Masterbate yummies???
Fembot Jubblies?
Bump by fainters?
Irate plumbers?
Irate pliers?
It’s a fail cause she is wearing white after labor day.
I don’t understand; why would a tanned person be held by security?
If they had done something wrong?
they could be infected with a virus or somethin???
A virus that tans you from the inside out……tanned liver *shudders*
Maybe the security guards like to hug tan people?
they are implying that you will look black/arab/latino…
Google fail to the people above me who said this has to be in a redneck area. This place is in Ontario Canada. Not a stereotypically redneck place.
I’d call this a Canada Win.
More like Ontario Fail.
*Sigh* Sarnia fails so hard I guess. They aren’t even close to the border anyways.
Not disagreeing with the Sarnia!fail, but you might want to check your map. Seeing that you cross the border FROM SARNIA, it might actually be considered “close” to the border.
Sarnia is a Canadian city directly across from Port Huron, MI. I should know because I drive by this sign all the time
Dangit I got my little cities mixed up.
I have to write this or else I’ll go mad:
Tanning Chachum… aahhhhh… that’s better…
???
Is that a person?
Actor: *clickie*
You know him?
^^
*squeeze*
I’ve barely heard of him.
He’s cute. I tried to google the name but I didn’t realize you spelt it funny on porpoise.
ahem, are you taking my name in vain?
I never said a word about dolphins!
Tuna!
I did however, say terrible things about your cousins Porpoise and Whale! Hee Hee!
*Flees before Dolphin reads this*
click clikkity click squeee click squeak clickky click!
(porpoise are very similar to dolphins though!
)
Mahi-mahi!
MAHALO!
Maholla!!!
(Dragons are very similar to iguanas.)
*squeeze*
Somewhat, but not nearly as similar! Dragons are warm blooded for a start.
)
*squeeze*
(I think it’s more like the similarity between man and chimpanzee
Hmmm…
I do like being detained by border patrol…
and I have been meaning to get some skin cancer…
*jots down phone number*
Why not just have your usual bath in strong coffee hun?
The coffee stain always fades too fast. I had to give that up anyway… the Starbucks people were starting to give me funny looks when I placed my order. *supertansqueeze*
*coffee grinder squeeze*
OUCH!
Oh damn sorry about that!
It’s okay. Got any extra skin I can borrow?
I am experimenting with pure caffeine as a skin and organ substitute….results are varied.
WIN!!!
Righto- what design would you like your tan to be, today’s specials- the mona lisa, van goghs’ starry night, flock wallpaper or the Golden gate bridge?
Ermmm. Can I have the M. Jackson special. Let me dip one hand in sunblock – tan me till I am dark enough to be held by security and then I will be a walking tribute to the 80’s MJ.
Could I have a side order of garlic bread please?
*vampire drops dead in background*
How dark would you like your bread?
So dark it will be held by security. Thanks.
I submitted a fail. Do you think it’s going to be on the front page?
No. Well, mine never are. There are supposedly tons of them everyday. Good luck.
It has to go through the voting section f*rst.
Do you think it’s going on the first page of the vote page?
Should do, I think they’re in order of submission.
Keep checking the vote page out. Mine was submitted by Alice (Failblog).
As far as I know it takes them 2-3 days to filter them to avoid duplicates and offensive material.
Oooo. Where is this magical vote page?
Click vote up there ^^^
At the top of the screen. The x is the poral to the vote page.
*giggles*
I’d like to be held….by someone in a uniform…who has handcuffs.
*grabs sailor uniform and fluffy handcuffs*
*holds KatzVonD’s elbow*
Now what?
Refer to owner’s manual based on year, make, and model for proper servicing.
Hmmm…where do I get this “Manual of the Owner”?
OOPS, wrong blog
*puts down Chilton’s 1977 F150 repair guide*
*picks up Kama Sutra*
Recommend page 172 “sitting lotus blossom”
*pulls Gaynorvader out the backdoor*
*closes door leaving DO NOT DISTURB sign on the handle*
Right, lets try this “shitting locust bottom” thing Skattdaddy was talking about!
*takes earplugs out*
Whoops forgot about them.
In that case, please bring extra sheets
*hands gaynorvader choclate brown 400 thread ct king set*
Er…thanks………Do you think you could put the video camera away, it’s making me kinda nervous!
*pops out from behind camera* Nope! camera stays, just pretend we’re not here.
Well if the camera stays at least one of you should join in!
You bet
*hands camera to KVD*
You are on your own kid
*Runs from the room screaming her bloody head off*
Aw man! Now what am I supposed to do with these hancuffs and this sailor uniform?!
*looks morose*
You could always join the navy.
*sigh* I tried that before, I kept setting the ship slightly on fire during my sleep! What’s the big deal? We’re surrounded by water!
♬ In the Navy! You’ll be havin’ some fun! ♬
*passes Katz and looks after her and wonders why she is so unusually tan*
hmm…
k?
l?
m?
nop. Try again.
F? U?
; obviously!
NO, It’s v.
Pee?
Cue, Aargh, Est, Tea, You!
Est Tea Dee?
you tea eye?
m?
Argh. Refresh is your friend!
Refresh and it’s twin, F5!
Upfi, WHAT is your Avatar?
A happy poop sprouting flowers?
Looks like a white caterpillar to me…
yeah… and it’s got arrows stuck to it’s head… cruel pic…
It’s a marshmallow with skewers for the flame
Yay!
*squeeze*
*sleepysqueeze*
Your Avatar is interesting as well, WIK!
Well, I am an interesting gal, roadkill.
But secretive & not very revealing. But your hands are above your head, so possibly you’ve been hand cuffed in this position?
I like your mind, friend. But alas, I was at the beach and my hands were shielding my eyes from the sun.
And I already submitted for show your face day.
*rumages through files*
As YES!
Such a good looking
MILFMommy you are too! Lovely Eyes, Happy Smile, Cute Baby!Arrows? Oh no! I thought they were tulips!
They were arrows disguised as tulips!
Insidious!
You gots no im@gination!
I revise my guess to: a Pancreas leaking from 3 Blood Vessels.
Legless sheep with a flowered hat?
Someone was in quite a hurry for “Leg O’ Lamb”?
Well, where do you think they get them!
OK, and this way they can collect the Wool as well!
Brilliant!
I think it’s a slug that has fallen in love.
Awwww, you’re always the optimist.
I am the eggman!!
k-k-k-katy is an Optimist?
Hey!
Do you think she could give me a Discount Eye Exam or maybe some Free Contacts?
Sadly since so much of the Mexican/American border spans Texas this may be a terribly accurate fail.
I want to squeeze boobies! Come down here so I can give you a squeeze!
Be very veeerrrrry careful!
*squeezes Boobie very veeerrrrry carefully*
YAY! *squeeze*
I haven’t seen you in a while, whassup?
Sorry for my continued absences.
Been overloaded at work lately and have to
give that first priority.
I try to post when I can though but my
squeezes are always here for you guys!
OT:
Gaynorvader = very a dragon ???
It veries!
I just hoped it was a joke!)
(I’m not sure what you mean
Nah, just an anagram.
Oh wow! That’s fantastic! I can’t believe I never noticed that before!
And my name is an anagram of…um…I dunno. What is it an anagram of, I wonder?
Keep wondering… I’m too tired
^^
GBFF… you name is an anagram of,
“I have a Very Active Im@gination and WAY Too Much Time on my Hands!”
Psst…. meet us at the next fail! ☞
My anagram is: “a ill dork”
Awwww my failBlog soul mate!
*does a happy dance*
Why would Canada hold you if you are dark?
Dark win
So what’s wrong with the sign?
i really dont care who gets offended by this post. its funny and i think its funny and that doesnt make me racist. it only means that i think the world is incredibly deep in stupid people and whats worse is that people get offended an then the racist people win. funny as hell.
Agreed. Right on.
That was my point earlier on, but then everyone got all pi$$ed off.
Well then, i say right on to you too!!
Stupidity win
Hahaha dude, this had my office in stitches.
Where’s the fail? I only see win.
inb4 you’re a racist etc., actually it just makes a joke about police being more “active” with darker-skinned people, so it’s a criticism of the situation rather than an encouragement to racism.
this is most definitely a win.
I do not think anyone with a healthy sense of humor is likely to be offended by this. In addition, at many airports the passengers arriving from locales such as Nigeria are routinely held by customs / immigration due to the very high incidences of drug smuggling, spurious asylum claims, and the high number of undesirables amongst the passengers on board these flights.
omg this sign is in sarnia, ontario
i drove by it today and laughed so hard, then went home and saw it on failblog, and laughed harder :p
For that matter, I’ve seen something nearly identical used in an ad by a tanning salon OWNED by Hispanics that catered to a mostly white clientele.
You want to hear examples of really nasty hate speech? Try listening to the typical 2nd, 3rd or later generation Hispanic, talking about illegals coming from their own ancestors’ nation of origin. Most the Hispanics I know would gladly work at border stations if they could shoot the illegals trying to sneak across – especially if its one of their deadbeat relatives expecting them to provide a job and a place to stay, juct because they are related.
It’s hilarious. Slightly racist. But racism is funny. Thats not a fail. Thats an epic win!
As a person who is dark *recalls darkie being slung* in Canada, i totally lol’d at this 1. It speaks of the injustice in the justice system towards ppl who arent of obvious european decent. All the ppl offended by this ad prolly never encountered that evil side of the system…..yet. If i needed skin darkening, i would go there just cuz of the ballziness.
wuts wit all the squeezes?!
*squish*
lol!!!!
This is precisely why I avoid tanning.
i live around the corner from that business and drive past it every day, didn’t even notice the sign saying that
heres theire true address and number
(519) 344-7110
Address :
780 London Rd
Sarnia, ON , N7T4Y1
Hint: their in canada
I’m sorry to notice, but this place, paradoxically, has started to FAIL.
This one’s clearly a win, no matter where the shop is located.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…….classic
As long as thier tans don’t get me so dark I get beaten by police.
Haha, wow, that’s mess up.
Or arrested for trying to get into your own home.
What the hell….this is so racist. But when it all comes down to it..caucasians are always the ones tryna tan there skin darker, but they have so much to say about african americans and crime..so really the joke is on them..lol lol
so dark you’ll get beat like Rodney King
african-canadians
racism win + advertisement win = tanning fail? i think not.
that looks like the one in sarnia.
that looks like the one in sarnia
honest assessment of american institutionalized bigotry WIN!
i saw the palest lady i’ve ever seen in a tanning salon, i think that was better than this.
People are super sensitive.
I have darkish skin and I’m not offended by this. I think it’s hilarious. This is just poking fun at what still exists… RACISM.
Our tans “will” make you so dark “that” “you’d” be held by security
hooray correct grammar!
I would categorize this as WIN ^_^
BWEST FAIL EVERRRRRRR
Yes…last.
I argue this is a tanning win.
Yeah, I’m gonna go with win here as well. People need to lighten up, ironically!
rofl this made me laugh so hard!
I think that this is more of a win than a fail, for sure!
Racist Fail. ’nuff said.
I think its a sign WIN