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Cheezburger Network Blog
We just knew this was going to happen!
We sure did!
(Hi, Avis!!)
OH RLY?
lol, this is a double fail. the car rolls away and the guy falls over XD
Hi!
*squeeze*
What did I miss this week end?
Urgghh! Usual weekend crap.
Not terribly upset I missed it then.
who in the world would decide to store a car in a compartment that you yourself could not get into the vehicle to apply the parking brake….
i just imagine the fool who tried to drive it in… Epic. Fail.
the car was attached by a cable, the cable broke and got away.
Yet you did nothing to stop it? You sicken me.
What was the guy that was running after the car thinking? “I’ll go stop the run-away car with my bear hands.”
*squeezes all around*
He has bear hands!? All I have are these stoopit human hands…
LOL
Monday morning bukkit for one please.
Would you like a hooman bukkit or a bear one?
Where’s Bearly? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind lending her bear hands to Starfish…
Hey DW – I sent you an email!! Sometimes it helps to be oblivious to what others are saying – or trying to say – about or to you!! *squeeze* Are you going to watch or participate in the ICHC production of Understudy Tiffs tomorrow? I will just be watching – if I am home.
*squeeze Elsa_Mama*
(I know you didn’t ask me…I’ll try to make the production, but it will be a busy day at work. I might manage an impromptu bit of participation.)
*hopes for impromptu bits of participation from the fb friends – and that their contributions will not be “awaiting moderation”*
impromptu participation is what makes it all the more fun … imprompt away!!
Hee! *squeeze* I answered your email!
Is the production in the afternoon? If it is, then I can make it, but I can’t do mornings. I think it would be great fun to have a bit part…maybe I could be the Yoga instructor (I assume you don’t have the funds for a full-fledged jedi master), or a Mild-Drizzle Trooper….
ooh, you’re a natural DW!
feel free to jump in anytime, we don’t have any mild drizzle troopers yet! we do have a combination yoda/obi-wan thing going on though.
it’s at 12 pm failtime, if you’re on the east coat, 3 pm EST!
SNORK — a Mild-Drizzle Trooper! I sent your request to Skwirrlgrrl – Casting Director. But you have to come – you clearly get the whole premise!!
Yes – it is in the afternoon!
*tap tap*
is this mike on?
refresh … refresh…must remember to refresh before replying on FB — too many posts!!
Got it! I’ll be there if I can…and I should be able to, for a while at least. I have an appointment at 3:20, but I might be able to make a cameo appearance!
*puts on cameo pin*
*poses for close-up*
just teasing u E_M!
*sets up extra spotlites for DW’s cameo*
I was asking DW right there — but the question applies to all nice FB’ers!! Come and see how the lolcats party! It will be like nothing you have ever seen before.
How do we get there?
I thought I’d seen you there before… it’s the LOLCATS site, the far left tab up above.
Please make a test post today so you can clear “Moderation.” Otherwise, you may miss the whole thing waiting for WP to decide if you are allowed to post …
Its not a very big car he could prolly catch it with Bear hands.
I wonder if he has any other bear parts?
This is getting unbearable.
It just keeps getting Ursa and Ursa.
I agree. It’s rather grizzly.
Sorry Starfish — I didn’t want to make you feel like hibernating!
It’s ok Elsa. Some people would, but I’m the polar opposite.
Oh good — so I do not have to panda to you?
At least this wasn’t another kermode fail…the whole “toilet humo(u)r” thing is getting a tad old.
Perhaps if they had strong coffee bruin earlier in the morning they would have been alert enough to catch their mistake.
It’s a Kodiac moment!!!
*puts arm around the Admiral and smiles cheesily for the camera*
*playfully plunks a big dollop of honey on your nose right as the shutter releases, grinning all the while*
I wonder how tall he is in his bear feet … no matter, I’ll bet he spends a fortune on socks.
> Ms B: He has bear hands!?
It’s the Second Amendment.
He has a right to keep bear arms.
Probably the same instinct that pushes us to attempt to catch that kitchen knife that falls off the counter.
Yeouch! Have done that before. Also caught it with my toe once. I do not suggest it.
(All forementioned stunts were performed by an amateur on a closed set and should not be performed by anyone else for any reason.)
Ouch indeed! I also don’t recommend catching hot hair tools (especially while still naked in the early morning). I dropped my straightener once, and tried to catch it with the instinctive “pull-towards-gut” motion. I have a permanent V shaped scar on my stomach, and now when I drop things, I yelp and jump backwards.
Yowchie!
Er, do we want to know where the V is pointed?
Cripes! I did not even think of that.
I’ve had the scar for a couple of years now, and that correlation just never occurred to me!! *Regrets any and all time spent with tummy exposed in public in the last few years* Thank goodness the scars fade with a tan!
*snork*
If a guy needs directions, then there’s something seriously wrong with him!
THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!!
sorry…
I have a friend who did the same thing, but clothed. In some polyester something-or-other. She got burns on both belly and arm AND melted a portion of her attire!
Ouchies! Burns are no fun. I seem to be especially prone. Or just clumsy with hot stuff.
I am incapable of using my oven without burning myself at least a little. And have you noticed how often I tell people that I’m cooking?!
Lol. Not cool. I have these ratty oven mitts that I keep forgetting to replace, and they have a hole right in the crevice where the thumb meets the hand that I always manage to forget is there. The skin there on my right hand is seared smooth, probably permanently, from grabbing pans and the racks and such.
But why did it take so long? The car was just sitting there minding its own business and behaving quite nicely and then just slowly starts to roll away ….
Down with gravity!
I watched it again — the car rolls back and stops at the little ridge at the top of the ramp. Then it just rolls over the top — still seems odd.
its more of a camera man fail, i just wish the camera man was on the path of the vehicle so itll be funnier.
did he die?
Aaaaaand there it goes.
Modern vehicles have gotten so sophisticated. Someone probably tapped the home button on the GPS.
“Home, James!”
“Drive off that cliff, James, I want to commit suicide”.
Sorry.. another bad joke today…
In best Sean Connery voice, “Shertainley”.
Looks like someone tapped park and the GPS found the shortest route.
It must be a new, advanced branching algorithm.
MyGreenSpace.
Looks to me like it was in neutral because that was the only way to get it in there. (Unless you want to ride inside the car in there for the whole trip!)
TERD!
It was prairie dogging.
*snork*
The camera guy saw this coming the entire time.
.
Communication fail.
it might be hard to see, but they’re talking danish, and the guy says it. it was supossed to roll out and a rope was hanging in the front, but it broke and therefore it kept tolling
translated: “Oh no the rope broke… this is live televison”
Rolling*
Yeah, I thought it sounded like Danish. And when the car started rolling backwards: “Nej, nej, nej, nej!!” hehehe
I bet it’s the camera guy’s fault
This happens waaaay too often. =)
You look like you are about to have a Mary Catherine Gallagher moment.
Hamstring pull win
It was like watching a bodyguard taking a bullet.
Or a Baywatch clip.
I read this as Hamster pull ….
Those hamster cheerleaders might just pull it off.
lol …
And you don’t stop.
tick tock and ya dont quit
Knew someone would get me sooner or later
this almost happened to me last week. I pulled my e-brake, but when i released the foot brake my car started to roll backward. I said, “eep!!” and but my foot back and torqued the hell out of my e-brake. put the car in 1st gear to make sure it wouldn’t roll backwards and then forgot. so when i turned it back on later, it lurched forward and stalled. arrg
Glad to see you’re fine. I had to take a traffic survival class to lower my insurance rates on Saturday. The videos I saw…MY GOD. So many corpses dismembered. You should have seen how paranoid I was driving back home.
Ugh Cars!
I remember watching those videos in driver’s ed. Ahhh. Memories.
*Reminisces with Ms B*
*Vomits with Ms B*
I always thought those would do well in theaters as horror/action flicks.
Yeah. Red Asphalt is not a fun movie.
horror/comedy
also, FIRST!!!!!!
And spawn like a billion sequels? Revenge of the Highway 28. My favorite is when they do the versus. Freddy vs Jason or Highway vs. Car…they came hell.
came FROM hell
oops
I came hell once, and then I was in heaven
Can you go to heaven from hell? I thought it was VIP exclusive.
I bribed immigration.
they’re pretty laxed about who they let in these days.
…unless your are darkly tanned.
*ducks from flying ojects*
No heaven for me? NOOOOOO
the only real problem is a darkly tanned Canadian. Cause then you know it’s fake and in Heaven that just doesn’t fly.
God don’t like fake? Why’d he make mirages?
ROFL
‘Cause he likes a good joke now and then?
Water, water. . . F*ck!
GOD: “SNORKITY*
You think God likes a joke. You should see Jesus. He’s always turning water into wine, walking on water just to freak out people, and all dying and getting up three days later.
Course he likes jokes – he made the duck-billed platypus didn’t he?
The door to hell is always open!
And the road is so nicely paved.
It’s not a Slip n’ Slide?
I’m sure it feels that way to some people!
I always heard it was with good intentions.
*lays a 3 mile long Slip n’ Slide along the road to hell* Just for you, Qwaz, if you want it
Tempting.
Oh, what the heck
The heck? Premature post fail.
Finished thought:
*Jumps onto Slip N’ Slide, plummets three miles into the earth.*
Now I remember why I hate roller coasters.
Yeah but Hitlers’ there. I don’t know if you know this but He’s such a dick.
I have heard of Butt Hitler.
I have heard of someone editing the Hitler page on Wikipedia and changing the title to “Adolf Poopy Hitler”.
Dante’s main character did, right….. I never actually read Dante’s Inferno, but I think it’s along those lines….IDK
that sounds really scarry and terrible. I would rather not take that class…
It is rather scarring…
and scary?
Yes, so be wary.
And also hairy
Do not tarry!
But can I carry?
your wife when you marry?
Hell no. I’m planning on marrying a fatty.
… a fatty named Larry?
Maybe Mary?
I quite enjoy Jerry, though.
(or was the rule to have an ‘a’ in there?)
Harry. As long as he’s not too hairy.
I’ll go with Gerri
does he like blueberry?
I’ll go with Jheri and make it curly.
Try with some products from the dairy.
♪ The farmer in the Dell!
The farmer in the Dell!
High-ho the Dairy-O!
The farmer in the Dell! ♫
(I’m not sure why this song just popped in my head. I just thought I’d share.)
For an Emergency Medical Technician class I took we watched a video of parameds dealing with a guy who shot his face off with a shotgun in a suicide attempt. they intubated him by finding the air bubbles in the pool of blood where his face once was. he survived. but if he thought his life was bad before….. poor guy.
It was one of those “scream your face off” kinda movies huh?
(yes – that’s an honest question)
… and was it the same video in which the councilman shot himself at the front of the chambers? The guy looked like he was deflating — almost like a beach ball that’s been popped.
We watched some warped videos in that class.
This is not a good thread to read after eating lunch…
sowwy
Quick! Where’s the mr green emoticon?
*smooch*
: mrgreen : — not as good as the old one. The only thing I like about the new smileys is that :monkey: And, i am worried about how much I like him …
Nothing wrong with liking a bit of monkey business now and again…
:monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: :monkey: I love you!!
Everybody’s got something to hide except for me and my :monkey:
You have a :monkey: on your back, Marius?
I found the only way to get him off is to shock the :monkey:
I prefer my :monkey: shellacked!!
Everyone should try :monkey: love!
Quit :monkey: in’ around and get back to work!
EARWORM!!!!
*spends the rest of the day humming ♬ Shellac the :monkey: ♬ under breath*
My work is :monkey: business.
:monkey: see :monkey: do!
Annnnnd SQUEEZE! to all the failblog :monkey: ’s
Back to work for now.
Damn you :monkey: ! I wasn’t serious, Marius! Come back!
This blog is more fun than a barrel of :monkey: :monkey: :monkey:
Marius threw a :monkey: wrench into the works.
Should guys wear :monkey: suits to the production tomorrow, or is it informal?
And will there be a grease :monkey: handy in case something needs fixing?
When the grease :monkey: is done fixing things, we can commence our :monkey: shines.
Ooh, that will warm us up if it gets cold enough to freeze the tail off a brass :monkey: .
I thought we might warm up hanging around the :monkey: bars.
no :monkey: suits needed, but be ready for lots of :monkey: business!
Look at all this monkey trouble!
*glad to have old smileys back*
*smooch* a tie — we have a tie — GMTA
GMTA? Get My Tie Annihilator
Good Mysteries Taste Awful
Give Mary the ax.
Get Me The Aberuncators
*Grinds Meticulously Tree Ablator*
Oh my ….
Get Myself to Anywhere-else
no it was Ed,
(yes – that’s an honest answer)
Good to know there’s more than one twisted instructor out there. I guess they had to desensitize us somehow…
the worst were the pictures of someone giving birth…. the goo and blood during crowning, the placenta….. grossest thing ever.
I guess I’ve watched too much childbirth stuff on cable (right before I had my daughter). That stuff doesn’t faze me. It’s burns that I can’t handle.
My son has a current obsession with watching YouTube videos where someone is squeezing or popping a cyst or zit or anything where lots of goo oozes or better yet explodes out. I do not get it — but he is 14 and well, considering what he has and is going thru I glad he is watching anything. It is amazingly disgusting however!!
*faints from teh grossness*
Carefully places DW on a comfy fainting couch and calls over a couple of the hunkiest YNG’s from ICHC to fan her and lightly pat her on the cheek until she revives… I have to caution however that some of the YNGs get confused about what cheek to pat — not always a bad thing …
Elsa_Mama, I think you should make some mashed potatoes and watch Animal House together.
I think I may leave that bonding experience to his Dad …
as if there weren’t already enough issues with potatoes!
My 7th and 8th grade teacher (who was also my dad) made us watch “The Miracle of Birth” for sex ed. Nothing like showing an actual birth to a room full of 12-14 year olds. I think the students at the school down the street could hear us all say (at the same time) EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
I skipped that class in every year the film or any related films were shown. I did, however, show up for the awkward films about how “abstinence is the only right choice”, and “condoms always fail”. My school taught the worst things during sex ex. I remember in Grade 11, the teacher told us (all of us) that GHB is the only date rape drug and since you can smell it, as long as you smell your drink first, you’re okay. I was floored (and many other subsequently roofied) (bad joke) and made a point of correcting her after class, although she never amended her statement to the class.
*Replaces ‘x’ with ‘d’* Woops.
I remember watching the Date Rape movies and laughing all throughout class. The acting was so bad that it became so comical and although I tried, I couldn’t take the movie seriously.
Guy in Video: “I didn’t know no meant no”
technicolor: Über-roffles
had to look carefully for the cheeky “x” – hmmm “sex ex” could be a new category of failed relationships — yea, he’s just my sex ex –
Brilliant! It sounds so perfect, I think it should officially be declared a common term. “Sex ex”. Hehehe!
Tech: I liked that in those movies, it was always the guy’s fault.
Tommy: “Aw, c’mon, you know I said I love you…”
Sally: “No, Tommy. I’m just not ready.”
*Scene pauses*
Teacher and/or film narrator: “Now, class, who can tell me what Tommy did wrong?… That’s right! Wanting to have sex!”
*Subtext: Sex is bad and evil and dirty and if you do it you’re going to HELL!*
Hooray for outdated ideals and uneducated teen parents!!
Let’s see — what is the appropriate definition for a Sex Ex …. A former one night stand? Or is more sex than just one night required?
I’d say either someone one used to have sex with but with whom one never had a relationship, or a person with whom the relationship itself failed but that one still has sex with.
I’d say more than one night would be required for “ex” status, dontcha think? I mean, a one night stand doesn’t really have an expectation for moving forward.
Oh yea– the ex you still have sex with — yep I think that the one –
On the theme of movies watched. Since our school didn’t seem to do enough for my parents’ high standards, my parents got some harsh movies for us. Abduction movies to be precise. They taught us about safety words and to scream “fire, fire, fire, he is not my daddy, she is not my mommy” whenever a stranger approached us.
My sex ed teacher was teaching us about the process of menstruation. Two GIRLS passed in the two weeks we discussed it.
They died?
(Sorry, I couldn’t help it)
They dyed their shorts.
*recently saw a woman who clearly needed a few feminine hygiene products walking down the street*
Let’s just say pale pink linen pants aren’t all that forgiving.
Uugghhhh. And then guys wonder why women get bitchy.
hello there! I saw you were interested in a part for our ICHC Low Budget Theater production of
Star Warstomorrow. Still interested? A nice juicy role is yours for the asking! Prophylactics notwithstandinglol, I am still interested, just tell me exactly what i need to do..
*resists urges to say Muwahahahahaha!*
it’s all adlib, as long as you’re familiar with the movie, nothin’ to it!
It’ll be tomorrow, at 3 pm EST, 6 am cheeztime, which I think is… 12 pm failtime.
You should go over sometime today if you’ve never posted and put a condom ramment, er, random comment, out there, b/c often first time commenters are moderated.
Do you mind playing a guy’s part? I still have to cast Darth Vader, Luke, AND Han Solo!!
The invitation is open to the rest of you, to come as spectators, or, if you want a part, let me know!
No I’ve already starred in a home porn/pardoy version of the movie.
Star Whores. I was Hand Solo. And they was Princess Lay’ya. Good Times.
Hand Solo? A sad movie then….
*grabs a kleenex*
*snork*
I think there may have been an unintended double entendre there.
if it was mine, it was intended
finally, a porn I can relate to.
There’s a place for us all.
It should be Hung-SoLow just sayin’
I was kinda liking the one where I relate.
roflwaffles
lawlerpancackes?
well, I’ll only be around for about an hour after 3 tomorrow. I get to renew my lease at the apartment!! I’d like to be Luke, but maybe I should be something smaller since i may have to leave in the middle of everything…
no worries, no one can usually keep to the story for more then an hour anyway! If you wanna be Luke, the part is yours!
We can discuss my fee later.
naughty girl
Why is Star Wars crossed out? Are you taking all the Star Wars characters and putting up a production of A Chorus Line with them?
lol, no!
We start with a well established movie, and rename it according to our budget. The working title is Understudy Tiffs. Star Wars, on a budget.
Hello,Ms.casting agent.
Can I be the Deth Pebble…pretty please ???
(unless the budget allows for an actual Deth Star…)
Not sure there is enough money for actual death… I think it is going to have to be a Sickly Pebble –
no no, of course we can’t afford a star! are you mad?
the part of the pebble is yours eeck! you’ll have to provide your own lunch though.
Yayyyyyy!
I’ve been reading up on the Death Star and everything!
This will leave the hangnail performance in the dust!
Are you sure you’ll leave that performance in the dust? You were the most remarkable hangnail I’ve ever seen!
I remember that production — Love Story — but not enough money for deathly illness so she just had a hangnail. But what a hangnail — Eek really stole the show that time.
I have no doubt that she was a cut(icle) hangnail, indeed.
She really nailed it!
I wonder if she found a (mani)cure?
Quite a polished performance!
i’ll probably watch, it sounds hilarious.
how does this work exactly? i know what time to be around, but then what?
Then you can either just watch or you can jump in and try to swing the story in a new direction .. anything goes.
Ms. Casting Agent, are you the producer, too? I won’t be able to make it to your production, but I would like to donate a model of the Death Star to the set. It’s made of old torn up
tax formsphone books, and I put it together with somespitglue. Would you like it?throw in some glitter and we can make that work!
it’s kinda hard to explain m. mistress… feel free to watch, or jump in if you want. we take extreme liberties with the story lines…it usually ends up about how it would be if there was a group of drunk teenagers putting it on.
oh and btw, clickie here to see the Love Story thread, with eeck’s classic performance as the evil hangnail…
well thanky!. that was…interesting. i’m still learning lol speak, the Rosetta Stone version.
that’s lovely! it’s always nice knowing a few phrases in the native language when you travel, but it’s really not required
Oh! There’s a Rosetta Stone version for lolspeak???
holy crap, i lolledallover all the floors everywhere!!!!
Not that I know of Judy, but there is a sort of guide at the top of the page, and a dictionary for some of the more commonly used terms, like ’splort’.. although I’m not sure it’s completely up to date! We’re always evolving the language over there.
um .. do you need help cleaning that up TPOP,A?
*throws ShamWows in abstracts general direction*
Ms. B — the firemen are on there way to ICHC to get you out from under all those gerbils — they have instructions to give you mouth to mouth …. and there was a safety citation given for no spotter to keep the pyramid from collapsing.
Happened in Denmark – Live
Doesn’t it say it’s fitted with tracking technology? If so, they needn’t have run after it. Escape is futile.
I wish they had shown where it ended up at the end.
Did it hit a tree?
Fall in a ditch?
Go off a cliff?
Crushed a small child. He was my son.
Too bad they didn’t get that on tape. The “did he die” people would have had a field day.
Poor grandpa falling and apparently tearing his ligaments … OUCH!
Theres only one true DICKtator!!! Where is Arthur??
Best to let it go once it gets moving.
If it’s true love, it will come back.
♪ If you love someone,
Set them free.
Free free! Set them free! ♫
*sneaks up and undoes Ms. B’s bra*
Free! You’re Free!
*Ooogles*
Hey what’s going on…WHOAH!!!
*Ooogles*
Eeeep! How does this keep happening?!
*skitters off*
No! NO! Noooo! Come baaaaack Ms B ♥!
*runs after her wearing a bra like a big double sombrero on head*
Ms DD? That’s heavy stuff.
*laughs a bit, then walks off with a bag of chips*
Well, I dont post often, but this seemed like a good time to come back. So Im here to say, Hahahah. Goodbye everyone.
Hey, at least leave the chips!
So close! Were they BBQ? Those are my favorite.
*Walks in with multiple bags of chips for everyone*
Hey guys, did I miss the ooogling?g
Ooh, thankee!
*nibbles chips/crisps*
Here, I made a sour cream and onion dip today. Would you like some?
(I’m never buying onion dip again btw, home-made is soooooo much better!)
Ooooh! I make a pretty killer shrimp dip! Try some!
Give me some, Avis!
*passes around the sour cream & onion dip*
I was just trying to use up some sour cream so it wouldn’t go to waste. The end result was sort of a facepalm moment. (Of COURSE! WHY didn’t I think of that sooner?!?)
*puts out some of the ceviche she made yesterday*
*wonders why she’s talking about herself in the third person*
*Dips my taco from taco bell in Avis’s chip dip*
*groans*
Your ceviche looks divine…I wish I could eat it! But I’m allergic to the fishies and cannot eat them.
Avis? Postie recipe on your bloggie? Pleezie?
*squeezie!*
*squeezie back!*
*squeeze!*
I tried a Sean Connery impersonation ^^^ just for you, Judy.
Hee hee…I was hoping she saw that!
Aww too late again…I missed it. Any video?
Happened on a danish morning show. The car was tied to a rope, which broke, resulting in a hilarious clip.
Happened on a danish morning show. The car was tied to a rope, which broke, resulting in a hilarious clip. You can see the guy leaping for the small piece of rope still attached to the car.
lol@ Danish failure.
Aha. That explains why he dove at the front of the car.
Hay Kids! I done for the day! Yay! Did I miss anything?
Note: Please comment on my new Avatar.
hi Skwerlly Bob, I like your clicky! I can’t really see what that is in front of the squirrel….. *refrains from commenting*
It is an acorn in a wine glass, (Tastes like a nice Oak Tinged Merlot.)
How ridiculous a refined squirrel? lol
Mine is a little less refined. Also a little more prehistoric.
Yet still funny as hell.
Not gonna say where he dips his nuts.
*Resists urge to yell “THESE NUTS”*
wall nuts!
floor nuts!
Shoulda said ground nuts
Poor nuts.
Better than a rich nut
Chest nuts.
pc nut! (actual company name)
Emerald Nuts.
Ruby nuts
beeyatch nuts
(we have them too, sometimes)
chin nuts. (Ewww)
*attempts to restrain self*
*fails*
.
Truck nuts!
I never did understand Hazel’s nuts. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
ah, i see. very cute indeed!
lolz
had he caught the car it would only have been the more funny.
Had he caught the car with his teeth…legendary
Had he caught it with his toes backwards underwater while tied up to a kraken and playing the guitar at the same time… Epic.
next comment sux
lorena bobbit
He said “sux”, not “removes with a kitchen knife”!
told ya
i saw this live xD
I did this while sweeping the garage for my parents when I was 17. They let me pull the car (a Lexus) out and I was halfway done when I heard my mom screaming “THE CAAAAAAARRRRR!!!” If they’d decided to put the pond in the front I’d still be in debt.
a comment
I was actually watching that particular morning show when it happend
I laughted my freaking ASS off! And the footage where recorded in the Middle of the danish amusement park Tivoli.
This happened to my car a month ago…well sorta… The e-brake failed and the car rolled down a hill while I was at work. I came home to find it at the bottom of the street (thankfully didn’t hit anything) with two $100 parking tickets and an egg someone introduced to the roof of my car. Probably one of the most annoying moments of my life. Thank you Faiblog for reminding me of my pain……..and debt….
Mine did that while I was driving down a hill. I managed to steer it into a side street after swinging it rather quickly around a T junction. Luckily, I was the only road user at that time.
Thank goodness! I’m not sure if I can handle that… I would probably just mess myself and start crying…but, then again, men are babies.
MAL!!
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeze*
Good to see you, bud! Erm…sorry about your car…
DW! *dragon-sized squeeze*
Good to see you! How is everything going?
I’m soooo happy to be over the “weekend failblog slump”. The weekends are just AWFUL here. Good to have my failpeeps back.
Heheheh the weekends are a devoid of fun. I notice that people check in, but there is no regularity. Le sigh! Happy Monday!
Hee hee. You said “failpeeps.” My work here is done.
*snork*
*cheez-squeeze*
I did it too, while driving, but it was completely brake-unrelated. I was driving up a very steep, very high hill in my old junk car, when the transmission failed. The car rolled to a stop, and then proceeded to roll all the way back down the hill. I couldn’t really brake, because where would I go if I had?? Embarrassing!!
I thank you all for putting a fear of learning to drive in me.
Oooh! You still have a viewing of Red Asphalt in your future? Poor soul…
“Red Asphalt”?
Sounds like when I go out and there are red cars EVERYWHERE.
You’d think green would be a popular color out here.
How about: Signal 30, Drive And Survive, Highways Of Agony, Mechanized Death, Wheels of Tragedy and The Last Prom. Highways of Agony was my favorite.
These all sound very cheesy. Which is a good thing, right?
Yes – but some teachers are less forgiving than others if you burst into laughter during the films.
Uh oh. I tend to do that especially with “Horror” Films.
Red Asphalt rocked!
.
*has always been a little warped this way*
.
Qwaz, the things to remember are the same as they always are (pay attention, don’t panic, expect the unexpected), the problem in a car is things happen much faster. Therefore people tend to panic (bury face in hands, close eyes, and scream until things stop – by the way this is invariably the worst possible answer).
.
When I was knee-high to a grasshopper, I was playing in an uncles old pickup truck on his farm. The truck was parked next to a barn, at the top of a short hill leading into the duck pond. Everything was going fine until I pushed in the clutch and noticed everything started moving. In a panic, I popped the clutch and slammed on the brakes – which was a useless gesture on a dirt hill. The truck slid into the duck pond anyway.
Gah!
*Buries face in hands, closes eyes and screams*
Don’t forget that the other drivers on the road suck and are likely drunk. That’s my logic at least… *keeps his blood pressure good and high*
I find that calmly and evenly “informing” the other idiots on the road that they are an (insert favourite appropriate expletive here) in a baby-talk voice while alone in my car keeps my blood pressure down and a smile on my face while I drive.
My mom makes combinations of here favo(u)rite expletives.
I find it fun just to see which unique ones come about.
My steering wheel spends more on therapists than most countries spend on defense.
.
The tables turn when I’m on a motorcycle though, I ride with the assumption that everyone on the road:
1. can not see me
-AND-
2. if they can see me, they want to kill me.
People tend to feel that way towards zombies anyway, so I wouldn’t worry too much.
Well, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains, so I think my precaution is not entirely unfounded. *cocks shotgun*
While your precaution isn’t entirely unfounded, I must protect our resident zombie. Tell me, are you bringing telletubies? Your answer greatly affects my next action.
I’m just going to assume you will.
*Hoists Spartan Laser*
Ready when you are.
I always make a biiiiig point of giving a motorcycle a good gap when I’m following, or if they are in a parallel lane, I make sure there is more than enough room between me and the car ahead of me for them to change lanes if needed. Gotta watch out for them!!
Yeah… Motorcyclists terrify me. At least with a car, a “love tap” wouldn’t end with someone turning to ground beef on the pavement…
Having been the victim of a “love tap” roughly a decade ago, I know what you mean. I can’t fathom those people you see riding crotch-rockets and wearing nothing more than a tee-shirt, shorts and flip-flops. I guess they never spent an afternoon having gravel picked out of their skin in the ER.
*has been there*
*still has some gravel*
that’s good. many times people try to treat motorcycles like bicycles, they try to pass you, stop next to you (instead of behind) at stop lights, make turns in front of you from behind, those are just a few of my favs. grarg! be safe out there all of you motorists on motorcycles!
twice before i was 5 years old, i managed to get my dad’s car in gear and he had to chase it down to stop it. i was behind the wheel, standing on the seat having a blast! lucky he caught up because i was heasding to a brick wall.
am i the only one who was not required to watch “Red Asphalt”? it sounds like fun.
I just go the speed limit on cruise in the fast lane. Semis hate it.
i have avoided countless accident by assuming all other drivers are drunken idiots! I just avoided having my boyfriend killed by an a-hole who blew a stop sign because i thought he just might not and slowed down in case…. I’m awesome! sometimes..
Remember to always carry a towel then “Don’t Panic”.
Did you die?
*points out it wasn’t him who said it this time!*
.
A little inside, yes. Got the spanking of a lifetime in front of uncles, aunts, cousins – and the torture didn’t stop there either. Last time I heard this story being re-told again was a few years ago when we were visiting for my Grandmother’s funeral (roughly 30 years after the event). Good ol’ Dad, if there’s anything he loves more than embarrassing me it’s making me feel six inches tall as he does so!
That’s what parents are for!
Glad you didn’t die!
(Then, anyway.)
And people wonder why I don’t drive. At all.
because all your cars are rented out!!!!!!!!!!!
(Finally, I’ve been waiting so long to make that joke)
Next time, try harder.
I’ve been following this blog for a few months now and not once have I seen someone note the suspicious similarity between your name and that of the international car rental agency.
You just kind of learn to accept these things on this blog.
Trust me. It’s happened. Ad nauseum.
I’m trying this new thing, it’s called lettigo. I don’t think it’s gonna work for terribly long, but it’s helped me ignore a few things.
Oh, and *squeeze*!
Damn. I could really use some of that right about now.
But a *squeeze* is just as good, really.
*SQUEEZE!*
Life getting a bit overwhelming? I know the feeling. Hell, I’m living that feeling right now. We have guests at Casa Avis.
It’s happened a few times before, but I usually point out that my name has more to do with birds than with rental cars. It is merely a coincidence that the names are alike.
a name is nothing more than an expression of oneself. Similar to art. and, similar to art, is open to interpretation by the observer. And how one interprets these art pieces is really subjective regardless of the intentions of the artist. Thus, your name, which you intended to have what to do with birds, has been interpreted (by me) to have what to do with car rentals.
and perhaps it is this, the fact that your name is open to so many interpretations, that I appreciate your comments so much.
Well thank you! You are too kind!
a couple days ago someone did make the same obvious joke. you might’a missed it.
Was I even here when that happened?
i think so. i have an awful bad memory when it comes to when things happened. but i do remember what happened. i could try and find it, but it may take me an hour (have teething 16month old)
Eh, it’s not important. It happens so often anyway. And you have my sympathies. My step sister is visiting with her 20 month old. I am told her teething was awesome and terrible to behold. Having met the child, I believe it.
thanks! compared to my oldest, this is actually a breeze. 2 maybe 3 days of restlessness. not so much crying but not sleeping so good, but then we are happy agin for a few weeks. she had 4 pop up almost simultaneously then the above schedule for the next three teeth.
oldest was a nightmare for teething, but she got them all pretty quickly that it didnt last long, just felt that way.
I suppose I did…. ma bad peeps.
next time i’ll leave my bag of obvious, nauseating jokes at home.
It never happened to me, but when I was a teenager and before I learned to drive, a neighbor’s young child managed to get the family station wagon rolling down an urban alleyway right towards me. I didn’t even know the kid was in there at first, all I heard was the screams of the mother. She had been unloading groceries when the car rolled away from her. The car was only going 5 MPH, tops, so I took a few steps alongside, opened the door, scooted in and stepped on the brake. The car was not running, but it was in neutral with the key in the ignition.
You are such a hero!
one time while on set for a video in Denmark this rope we had holding some fancy new car to the truck broke. so i ran after it and dove to catch it. I was able to hold onto it with my teeth and stop it from rolling before it crushed a little boy. Then I intubated this guy with an awfully bloody face….. how’s that for heroism?
oh, and I got your bra back for you.
I know the mom thought so, but really, the whole thing happened at a ridiculously slow speed. She was lucky the car rolled as far as it did without hitting something.
You ARE a knight in white satin!!
*smoooooooooooooooooooch*
*smoooch!*
I was 14 or 15, barely a squire.
Testing….
no video games for a weekend!
No! That is OVERKILL for a minor offense such as this!
He just wanted to do Hoodrat stuff with his friends.
He looks more like a Rugrat to me.
someone get this kid GTA 4, quick! maybe he won’t need to actually steal the car to get his “bad stuff” fix.
Owww not sure this kid needs GTA 4…Kill da ‘ho after I pop it in the back seat???
He also needs Gears of War for his “Pointless Gore” fix! Maybe he won’t need to chainsaw people for no reason.
EXACTLY!!
Yeah, but was the egg OK?
Work teased me!!! I was able to see this video & then a few more … and then the little gremlins in I.T. put the filters back up.
*sigh*
That guy defiantly sprained an ankle.
He sprained it with “attitude”?
Might need a hip replacement-replacement as well…
Pimp my Skeletal System?
Extreme Muscle Makeover?
“We can rebuild him — we have the technology.”
Notice how the white haired dude at the end becomes a zombie when he stands up.
Soon we’ll see an outbreak in the news, just wait!
I have my shotgun and pills ready.
I have my Patron and PS3 ready.
I’m pretty sure he destroyed his ankle…
Rebuild him???
BTW…clickie
haha and the reporter says : “nej nej nej, stop den, stop den! Det er direkte fjernsyn!”
(translation: “No no no, stop it, stop it, it’s live TV!”)
LMAO
Well, let’s hope he didn’t brake anything.
♫Roll with it, baby!♪
The guy that chased after that vehicle did not have the arc of a diver.
They’ll reverse their story for the insurance claim, no doubt.
*Sigh*
That’s it for me right now, FailBloggers. I’m out.
To some of you, I will see you on thursday. To others, I’ll probably see you tonight.
The Journey to Warped Tour begins tommorrow.
Bye all!
Have a good night, Qwaz! And enjoy the Warped Tour!!!
bye! have fun, i love WT.
Awww I missed Warped Tour this year…and my favorite band is playing :/
Who was that Mal my daughter used to go to.
Bad Religion.
Wow. I thought they may be no longer with us. Better put 911 on speed dial for those guys.
It’s not an emergency brake – it’s a make-your-car-smell-funny-lever.
(This is Mitch Hedberg’s joke, I couldn’t find a video but here is a good substitute)
Sweet…Too bad he’s not around anymore. Miss the humo(u)r.
Yes, he was so weird but hilarious too.
We still have Mitch Fatel.
Girls humping bread? Not bad.
Another Hand Brake Fail.
We should really put our foot down when it comes to these.
Did the brake break? Or did they just not take the time to brake properly?
Brake broke by brazen bounder.
Rope raked rick on road.
Can someone please tell me if the language is Norwegian (norsk) or not?
Someone about 50 million posts up thread said it happened in Denmark …
From comments strewn about higher up, I believe it’s Danish.
I believe it’s Baklavanish.
Mmmm… Baklava.
Cheese-Filled Coffee Cake-ish would do, as well.
Quack!
A duck!
I can’t resist – after this I will not post a you-tuber until tomorrow.
Wish I was a duck sometimes.
Do you float like a duck? If you do…then YOU’RE A WITCH!!
Ah, but does wood not also float on water? If I weigh the same as a duck, then I’m a witch!
*weighs self*
How much does a duck weigh?
African or European?
That’s a swallow! Silly.
What’s your favorite color?
Blue. No, re….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
How many coconuts can a swallow carry?
That would depend on what is doing the swallowing.
That’s a very good point.
Ah…
Hmm.
I don’t know th- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhh!
Ouch, that poor guy with the bum leg
Remember, En Ra Ha!
Lol…that was blatantly gonna happen! But did te dude who ran after seriously think he could stop it?
Would someone please make Sarah Palin leave the top of the page (I’m getting a banner ad for her PAC)? I pretty much never need to see her again.
Ever.
Someone say “Palintubby”?
*looks around for Spartan Laser*
She was incredibly frightening. And I live in Canada. So make that internationally frightening.
Really, I get an ad for a Martin Sheen movie…Could be the same thing…Uh prob not huh
She’s gone now — hooray!
Nuuuoooooooh — she’s back just that quickly!
You need to install Adblock Plus, too!
Urrgghhhh! I thought it was just me. And I couldn’t figure out why!
it happens too often. At the end…Lumbago win!
OM’er!!!
Gravity win!
I like the way the cameraman felt no need to continue panning to the left where things were actually happening.
Must be a right winger.
home run!
Good night, Failpeeps!
Night!
Goodnight! I’m looking forward to Understudy Tiffs.
Quite literally and grammatically; a parking break fail.
First!
/\ Fail?
buba® is sure this is a transformer™!!!
Heh heh, I remember when this happened ^^
That stupid guy didn’t even throw away his cigarette when running after it XD
You should see in the full version where the guy comes limping back =P
You are all DOOMED, CAUSE I AM… … Your mother
LMAO
Is this like a hotwheels for adults? You push the steering wheel and it fires the car out round a loop-the-loop?
Citroën C1
Best cars of the World!
That is just GrisePwned!
“nine nine nine!”
I had so fun when i was watching it live. Epic fail
Hmm, bad omen for the Citroen World Rally Team… Aired live.
Would be more funny if you know what he was saying ^^ He’s saying “cut! cut! cut! cut! cut! cut! Oh no, we’re live!”. That’s what he worries about…
Dansk fail når det er bedst !
i like what they did with the energy conservation! take a bus, save energy, or even take a car in your bus and save energy whilst sitting in your own car!
haha they are talking danish….when he sayd”nej ik i direkte fjernsyn” “no not in live television”xD
Damn there are some idiots on here. Those who think it the parking brake failed or that the commentator should have told him haven’t thought about the fact the car had to get in there and there is obviously no room for a driver to get in and out.
In these motor-homes you must use a front wheel parking brake car and you only need to go far enough in for the front wheels to be off the ramp and in a specific spot, apply the parking brake and get out the car is then hydraulically slid into the vehicle.
The driver obviously forgot to apply the brake when putting the vehicle in there or more likely, was giving a demonstration and wasn’t aware that the cars ejecting system had been activated.
wow de er godt nok dumme… hold kæft…. damn they are stupido those danish folks;D
Damn I love then danish people fail on the tv =3 even though that im danish my self
at the end of 0:22, did i hear the “N” Word?!
Look how the falling man manage too pull of one last breath from the smoke, just before he slams into the ground