Intelligence Fail
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did she die?
LOL
shagaron
*squeeze*
she shoud wanted to wear a condome!
Noe, she shoud wanted to bye a dikshonarie.
Oh, Puddi, shu mayks me laff two mush!
oh my,on the contrary,she didn’t make me laugh a bit,she might have low IQ
i wonder if her mother routinely asks her to take a pregnancy test?
how stupid shit was she?
but i guess if a guy thought she was hot and just happened to be swimming by while…
maybe ulu is from another country and is doing the best they can, jerk
Denial is not just a river in Egypt
Yes. A garfoose eated her head off and deathed her.
So….. who’s the father?
The pool fools around so much she’s not sure she’s the mother.
*Snickers*
Geez Louise this place is a mess today! Must be raining again.
.
Six weeks until school starts back!!
*hi fives recollection of old favorites*
McFail! Where have you been, girl? Come back to us!
*SQUEEZE*
dont count it down ass hole
your memory skills are epic
*snorts*
Pool WIN
the pool
OLD!
I think many people don’t know that sperm dies in water..
so the sperm died.
Maybe there was no water in the pool – only sperm ;o)
Ew. o-o
iihhh
:D
don´t think anyone would see this?
I know a couple who conceived a child in a lake…but it didn’t involve just swimming around.
of course you have to stay put! sperms are not that fast compared to you, swimming!
haha. love it.
If it didn’t die in the water, the chlorine would kill it without a doubt. In fact it kills almost anything microscopic
Would someone be a dear and give me a link to the reference for the “did s/he die” meme? I can’t keep up with the enormous comment threads here so I missed where it started. Thanks in advance!
Twas me who brought in from youtube 2 failblog.org
“Did he die” posts will guarantee the majority of bloggers will think you are a complete idiot. Fair warning.
He had me at his name.
hmmm.. more like he had me at below..?
some person comment on the youtube video “tubing fail” (i saw did he die comments on this one well before it was on every other) asking if the person died. so people thought it was funny, but the guy was bein straight up. so it spread to other fail vids. became bad enough it got to rick rolls, and people thought it was serious and they said on the news rumours of rick astley dieing was an internet prank. so its so big it caused a brief news story. all because on person’s too dumb enough to realize if its deadly force or not.
Thanks!
***became bad enough it got to rick rolls, and people thought it was serious and they said on the news rumours of rick astley dieing was an internet prank. so its so big it caused a brief news story.***
*snerk* Pretty funny. Or pretty sad, one way or the other. (c:
who let the trolls out? who who who who?
Was that aimed at me? Am I being trollish? Don’t mean to be.
Hmm….
*shrug*
No, that was either a joke or a pun. Hard to tell sometimes.
Well, it wasn’t very punny.
I’m cheating so I’m up near the top. If the pool is at a high enough temperature this is actually possible. Not very likely, but then, we live on a pretty populated planet so crazy shit is bound to happen once in a while.
Because this pool isn’t chlorinated?
what temperature?
I’d think about body temperature, which is very hot for a pool… And it must not be chlorinated, and even that would allow a one in a billion (probably a lot less actually) chance of procreating that way.
This was actually a common explanation to supposed virgins getting pregnant in the middle-ages, they bathed in a stream where a man had been bathing upstream… I don’t know if it was believed even at that time.
bathing???
FYI, sperms die at body temperature, that’s why the testicles are on the outside. Sperms would die if they were internal organs.
hmm.. explains the whole jesus christ situation
*masturbates… into the pool* Aaah, that feels better!
i wld say that its more of a place of masturbation fail rather than intelligence…
also – 4 the sperm 2 survive long enough she would hav prob hav seen the guy jacking off in the water
or she’s lying about sex
I’d go with the lying about sex thing. But that’s just me.
I don’t know, water gets EVERYWHERE…
Incorrect, the moment the sperm hits the water it will die because no matter what temperature it is, the PH balance is WAY off from what is necessary for the little guys to survive.
Welll… no. Sperm can survive in a pH range of 5 ish – 9,9. X bearing sperm can survive a lower pH than Ys can. So pool water, having an average pH of 6-8 would be perfect.
Providing the temp isn’t lower than 90°F, and it’s not chlorinated of course… ;P
(source – I work in an IVF lcinic)
Also, why is everyone so sure that this is human sperm? This has “alien abduction for the purpose of kinky group sex” written all over it.
Just because your mother told you this is how you were conceived doesn’t make it a possibility…on a related note, I am willing to bet you bear a striking resemblance to your uncle
the water would have to be in the 90’s and not chlorinated
You guys aren’t funny at all.
Go watch anime you nerds.
You’re finally right about something!
Oh, what do you know anyway?
Your internet will probably shut down any minute because you don’t want to part with your beautiful jew pennies.
if I see one more did she die comment im leaving the site
did you die?
i died too.
She was likeley raped, clorine + water + semen ≠ babies
You need to work for Scotland Yard, your crime solving ability is amazing
or, she had voluntary sex, doesn’t want to admit it, and is blaming the pool
I think the word you’re looking for is “consensual”.
Or someone did it on her clothes or something she touched.
durrrrrr
The same thing happened to me last week, and I’m a sixty-year-old male. So don’t go near the water.
FIRST
loser!!!!!!!!!;-p
how much looser?
Need more skimmers!
… and fewer “little swimmers”
I bet shes bald.
It was me, I boned her daughter.
You sperm!
Pool’s closed.
Due to AIDS.
*LMAO* That was my first thought!
8D
You win the internets.
Win.
*facepalm*
who the F@ck was jerckin’ in the pool…???
Your mom.
maybe…while i was feeling your ass with thick meat.
No, that was when I was with her.
Never swim in the gene pool without protection.
Well, at least they’ve clearly stayed in the shallow end.
Wank like an egyptian?
The daughter is obviously nileistic.
*totally in D’Nile*
I just hope that they don’t also power the hot tub by having everyone face the wall and Tutankhamun.
It’s all a pyramid scam.
It sure Sphinx of one.
It’s a little crypt(ic).
I want my mummy!
I bet dad’s sorry he erected that obelisk.
Tomb it may concern:
Curse these pun runs! I am plagued with the ability to come up with something good.
Punrun! Punrun!
Ra! Ra! Ra!
I can dig it!
*joins Marius in the dig*
*excavates a clever comment*
(oops)
It’s a wrap.
i Tut ankamun here and see what’s going on.
I think that mom is a total pharoah in the common sense department!
Anubis would happen!
Where is Captain Awesome when you need him.
Listening to Led Zep.
Who said you can’t irrigate a woman’s canal from an oasis…
Oh, someone’s a fan of Ashes to Ashes
Who is gene?
the owner of the sperm
Yeah, it’s a gene pool.
Ah! You Win!
and this is why i swim in the ocean…no cross pollination.
i dunno. dolphin can get frighteningly frisky!!!
The gene pool really needs a lifeguard.
and THAT made me think of the Darwin Awards.
No, the gene pool needs less lifeguards. So some of the undesirables drown.
They should check the pool for snakes… the trouser variety.
Bud Light was not involved. Although we do endorse drinking and diving.
*shakes head*
Some people’s kids.
Hey! Ms B, there you are! *squeeze*
*squeeze*
Apparently no one was watching the door when the new fail arrived. How’d they all get in?
Get back in your box you lil biatch.
dammit mom! i wish you would remember to take your meds in the morning!
Now, get back in your strait jacket, Ms B’s Mom, and let’s go see the nice men in white coats.
*sniffles a little, but knows it’s for the best*
There there morbid mistress *as 5 eagles puts his arm around morbid mistress to console*
thank you.
*yells to white coat guy before he closes door*
She likes M and M’s in her scrambled eggs!
maybe they should check the chemical levels in the pool more often. make sure the spermicide is just right.
Good lord! Where did they all come from? And where’s my peeps????
*Squeezes Judy and holds on tight*
I don’t know, but it’s a jungle! We may have to just retreat to the lower threads again today.
Somebody’s going to have to talk to security about this.
I read in the last fail that you want a birthday party tomorrow? Great! We can have your party at the 10:00 eastern fail, and start the cuddle party at 1:00! Brewski will probably be toasted by then, unless he’s too busy packing for his trip to attend.
You guys are awesome. I’m providing cake. I can’t wait!
I m a g i n e a solitary sperm in a big swimming pool finding its way into a 13 year olds vag. Only my sperm is that potent. RESPECT THE SPERM!
The sperm is more likely to get respect around here than you are.
Says a dirty old man.
*TWACKs Jibber with a big raw halibut*
That was uncalled for.
I like my Brewski good and dirty.
Would you like that dirty Brewski straight up, or on the rocks? Olives, or twist?
Potatoed, please.
I’m here Judy! Good morning!
*dips toe in pool*
Come on in, the water’s fine!
*does a perfect dive into the pool, leaving nary a ripple*
*Does a cannonball after her, hoping her top doesn’t fly off and leave the sight of a nipple*
*Is secretly hopeing*
Imagine a solitary sperm in a big swimming pool finding its way into a 13 year olds vag. Only my sperm is that potent. RESPECT THE SPERM!
Well. Yours and Kevin Federline’s.
That’s probably what happened; K-Fed was in the pool. Makes perfect sense now.
I’m here. I just stepped out to put on my rubbers. You can never be too careful in an all swim blog.
*squeeze*
Marius! Can you put up some sort of barrier to keep “them” up there?? ^^ They scare us!
*Squeeze*
Try not to panic Judy. Thrashing about only attracts them.
*hang head in shame*
I dived in there by mistake… I usually avoid those shallow waters…
It’s okay Fluffy, as long as you remembered to wear your waders.
*squeezes all the real bloggers*
*is still a little frightened at the ginormous invasion*
This is where I come in handy!
*pops into jeep*
*waves at tanks*
FIRE!
Be careful in that Jeep, BFF. Your insurance premiums must be sky-high by now.
*Comes in with a big axe and slices the trolls into tiny bits*
*holds back tears and waves frantically hankie at brave and handsome young General*
How shall we ever thank you?
GAAAHH! When did my hankie become frantic? That should have been the wave that was frantic. *sigh* bukkit? *cringe*
*hands foop a frantic hankie*
They’re a handful, but very useful.
Did preschool just let out today? WTF? If I had a penny for every IQ point these guys have, I still wouldn’t have enough to buy lunch.
Or a Tim Horton’s small coffee…eh.
Tims! Good idea! Can I get a Double Double?
FB built an Intelligence Fail and they came. . .
HAHAHAHA!
*squeeze*
That said. We’re here too
*ankle squeeze*
I never claimed to be intelligent. Just NOT an asshöle.
*Squeezes ankle*
I’ve been meaning to ask, does Moomin have particularly squeezable ankles? What’s with the ankle-squeeze? I always thought his nose looks squeezable, personally.
*squeezes nose*
Yup!
Aah, a long and silly story. Tell him, Moomin!
It all started many moons ago with ankle grabbing. It was a good way to stop people escaping.
Sadly, me and Arthur had a habit of grabbing the wrong ankles and always ended up in a compromising position grabbing each others ankles. (McFail had a collection of the photos).
Then sadly Arthur injured his ankle playing football, so it progressed to ankle squeezing. . .and here we are today still squeezing ankles
It COULD be so much worse.
*SQUEEZES* both Moomin AND Arthur ankles
*sits in armchair puffing a pipe*
Ah yes, those were the days… The young folks won’t understand.
*Knows only a later portion of the story*
*Is still waiting to hear it*
*facedesk*
Refresh, refresh, refresh.
You’d think I would know that by now.
*fires up an aged Cuban Montecristo #2*
*glances at ceiling*
Ahhhh, yes, yes… those were the days…
They all got up from their nappy time together.
They came from the pool.
The kid would probably a superhero… Since the super sperm was that potent.
Face it woman, yo daughter is a whore.
Me daughter, yo daughter, hims daughter ?
Your wife.
*Shoves HT*
Some people are like a Slinky…
Not really good for anything, but you
still can’t help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.
*rofl*
*shovels HT while we’re at it*
who’re?
I’m.
I always wonder how they get a lawyer to take their money — oh never mind.
We at the Anheuser-Busch legal dept would never stoop so low as to take such a case. Unless, there is insane profit potential or a possible celebrity endorsement. Thanks and enjoy a nice refreshing spermcicle…Uh Bud Light.
Come on in, the waters fine!
The preacher says all my sins is warshed away,
Including that Piggly Wiggly you knocked over?
I have that movie on DVD. Classic. The only part I think was major fail was casting Clooney in the lead role. He wasn’t the right actor for the part. But the supporting actors were awesome!
One of my favorite movies. I thought Clooney pulled off the arrogant trickster quite well.
STILL one of my favorite movies, and now I’m going to pull (it) out tonight and watch it. Thank you for reminding me!
Wow! I thought I was the only one!
I’ll even admit to having bought the soundtrack. I still love it.
No way Brewski, we all love that one. I quote it every chance I get. seriously I am one of the few who can incorporate “They done turned ‘em into a toad while we was fornicatin’” into a normal sentence.
Ha! *squeeze*
You’re bonafied!
I promise not to r-u-n-n-o-f-t.
Give my regards to the pater familias.
I’d like to hear that sometime. That movie cracks me up!
Not today, it’s not!
AAAAH!!! HERSHEY CANDLE GUY IS BACK!!!
*screams and runs out of room*
Did you misplace your goggles again, BFF?
I’ve been looking for them for ages, but I gave up because I thought HCG was gone for good. But now…
*peeks around corner*
Is he still there?
Yep. This time don’t forget to wave your hands as you run screaming from the room. That last run just didn’t look right.
and fertile.
I hope you don’t intend to wash off your… moustache in that water?
*sniff sniff* Are you sure that’s chocolate?
AAAHH!!! 2 boys 1 cup!!
Aaaaaand there goes lunch.
Didn’t you say you wanted to try the Failblog diet plan, Ms B? I’m just trying to help out.
Eu nunca mais entrarei em uma piscina, nunca!
I will assume that’s another language and not just baby talk
nice spanish
*rolls eyes*
Looks Portuguese to me. Not much difference to baby talk though.
Portuguese, and she said that she’ll never get into a pool again.
Poor girl. Never got into a motel tub?
The sad part is, it’s quite possible that the mother is right about the daughter not having met any boys while she was on vacation – I cannot pinpoint exactly why, but I’m getting a really strong vibe here that this girl is a victim of sexual abuse by a family member.
I hope they do DNA testing when the baby is born (assuming that she carries it to term; on the fetal tissue if she aborts or miscarries) and are able to determine if this is a case of abuse. It might be the best thing for this girl, that her mother’s making such a ludicrous attempt at a lawsuit – shine some light in the dark corners and see what might be hiding there.
Sooo her step dad doinked her in the pool. ahhhh
That is exactly what I htought when I hear about this case for the first time. I’m also afraid she might have been raped – and now she’s afraid to talk about it due to the shock….
Yup, that’s what it sounds like to me too. I told someone off elsewhere for referring to the child as a prostitute (as I note someone’s done here too), when the most likely explanation is sexual abuse by someone with sufficient power over her to shut her up about what really happened. Might be a boyfriend, but a family member or such would be more likely.
Hm. Hadn’t occurred to me, but very plausible.
I really wish you hadn’t posted that. Human nature can really be depressing sometimes.
Maybe this will perk you up!
*dives under water, pulls off Brewski’s swim trunks*
*ogles*
…What? I’m curious!
Hey! I just bought those!
Fortunately, I have a Speedo on underneath. With cucumber-enhancement, to impress the ladies.
Argh! The cucumber is supposed to go in the front!
*cringes and flees*
Cucumber in front, potato in back.
…or at least that’s how I’ve always heard it.
That’s quite a salad you have their k-k-k-katy.
*raises eyebrow*
Here, catch!
*catches*
*drops*
It’s too slippy!
0.0
The only reason I haven’t lost all faith in humanity is the fact that there are some people out there who aren’t total idiots. More than a few I’ve read on here. meh, the world keeps turning and people are still stupid.
Yep, precisely.
I noted the “whore” comment above, and felt compelled to suggest another scenario – I wish people wouldn’t jump to conclusions like that, taking a headline or soundbite and, bam, making character judgments on someone they’ve never met and a situation they haven’t the faintest idea about…
It’s certainly possible that she’s sleeping around, sneaking out or whatnot, but it’s equally possible that she’s a victim of abuse, and she shouldn’t be subjected to that kind of namecalling.
Sadly, I see other similar comments below, calling her a slut etc. Shame that people have to be ugly.
Even if she was a ’slut’, a 13-year-old hardly knows better. That’s why it’s illegal- so whoever ‘helped her out’ still abused her.
Good of you to not jump to conclusions, better to insinuate that her family has a child abuse problem (apparently there is a 50/50 split between consenually sexually active teens to sexually abused ones “equally possible” in your words)
P.S. – Insinuating that she was sexually abused Is jumping to a conclusion and IS making a character judgement about someone you’ve never met and a situation you haven’t the faintest idea about…
With you on this. She’s thirteen. Somewhere along the line it seems extremely likely to me that she was sexually abused in some way, even if she did in fact ‘meet boys’ during this trip. An average thirteen year old is not going to be having consensual sex.
Then I know many unaverage people. Just sayin.
As do I. Heck, I knew a girl that was pregnant at 13. Peer pressure and the media has quite a grip on kids. In fact, they have a huge problem with kids having sex younger and younger.
And, unfortunately, a good deal of it is consentual.
I know, Innocence is dead, isn’t it?
But, I respect your opinion, Jocasta.
To, The Almighty Chan,
Sadly, arguments like this don’t matter anymore, because since the birth of 4chan(or maybe even the internet), whether their 13 or 97, there’s always going to be the one /b/tard to say…
“I’d hit that!!!”
But back on topic; there’s no way in hell, a public pool even if it’s not chlorinated, could support the survival of sperm, for more than 10 second.(and that’s if the pool was at the most adequate temperature) There is other factors to be considered, like bacteria, germs, or the pressure of the waves(they’re small, so minor changes in pressure can most likely be deadly for them.). Or God forbid, there was a kid playing the “I peed in you’re pool,” routine. That alone would raise the temperature enough to kill the sperm.
your*
Really? When I was -11-, I fapped furiously.
sperm
vag
Have you got Tourettes?
i have turret’s. wanna take it for a spin?
NIPPLES!
Man the turrets!
Repel the troll invasion!
*squeeze*
you hold off the front wall!
i’ll beat them back with….my whip!
*hiya!*
They might like that.
*rolls tank next to Moomin*
Hop in!
*passes tank with his quad*
Good day for a Battle!
May god have mercy on our enemies ’cause we won’t!!!
CHAAAAARRRGEEEE
*hops around in pain*
NotOnTheFootNotOnTheFootNotOnThe Foot.
Footnote:
SQUEEZE!
*Closes the book*
*Group of attorneys enter dark room*
*Shine light in corner*
*Run screaming into hallway holding on to their Briefs!*
*snickers because he secretly changed the briefs with boxers*
Better than doodie in the pool.
Aaaaaand there goes breakfast.
We’re off to an early start today!
Breakfast loss count +1.
Is is really?
I honestly don’t know, really just happy to get a Caddyshack reference in when I can.
*Does gopher dance*
*makes fake gopher out of explosives*
*Wears green today*
I’m no scientist, but I think the “little swimmers” would die instantly from the chlorine, (assuming the pool is chlorinated)
Its a was masturbated not chlorinated.
even if it isn’t chlorinated, the PH of the pool would kill them, the temperature would kill them and they can not swim through water as the viscosity is completely different from the environment they are meant to be in. (Which when you are trying to conceive a child is why they tell you not to use water or spit as lube)
I am wondering how they know that the ‘event’ took place while on vacation. It is hard to pinpoint an exact conception date, especially when the girl isn’t talking.
Gee, I can’t imagine WHY she isn’t talking. Especially considering she’s 13 and she has naive parents!
Gee, I can’t 1magine WHY she isn’t talking. Especially considering she’s 13 and she has naive parents!
POLISH parents. ’nuff said.
*runs and hides in case of offense*
*Knew that was coming*
*Is 1/4 Polish*
*Isn’t offended*
HEY I’m 1/4 Polish too!!! ^^
Cousin Nocta?! Is that you?!?!
Tomek Bearlicky??? I haven’t heard of you in ages!
But seriously, what are your other quarters???
I’m american, german, italian and polish…
Hows our daughter?? did she leave the pool yet??
By “American,” do you mean Native American? I’m actually about half German, a quarter Polish, and tiny bits of English, Dutch, and other assorted European nationalities. My grandpa used to refer to his heritage as Heinz 57 (y’know, 57 ingredients…).
Nah, US-American my dad’s from there and his parents are from Bari in italy… my mom’s from germany and her parents are from poland…
I only speak german and English fluently though… a liiittle italian and one word in polish… that I don’t want to say^^
I love the way everybody seems to have different nationalities in here!!! still we can talk and laugh and joke around…
*starts to cry* I love you guys… I loovee youuu!!!
Kurwa! Right?
yeah… But I guess everybody knows it… I work with a lot of polish people… but I don’t memorize their curses ^^
Zrob mi laske
Try that on for size
I’m Polish, Russian, Irish and German. Also, I was conceived in a pool. The coincidences never seem to end.
So, *does math in head* if we put all of you together, we’ll have three polish quarter pounders with cheese?
(I have no idea where I was going with that. I’m just hungry.)
Hey! I am Hungarian…
I’m Hungary too. When’s lunch?
*ducks to avoid thrown tomatoes*
*Throws cabbage*
Here’s lunch
i was told i am polish, irish, austrian and italian. but my dad was adopted so who knows
I’m Yorkshire.
Woop woop.
Pudding? *Reminds self not to try to eat the Moomin*
*Wonders where Aiki is to keep her on the path to recovery*
If only I were so tasty
One word… pineapple.
*Holds Bearly back*
Friends are not to be eaten. Here is a soft pretzel.
*Noms soft pretzel*
Thanks, Aiki. I was getting weak. Catch me?
*Falls gently into Aiki’s arms*
*Is amazed that people can faint and eat at the same time*
*Picks Bearly up and lays her on couch*
This whole thread is very culturally insensitive. Under the Soviets, Polish people were taught that babies come from swimming pools, not from intercourse. So this mother is suffering from the aftereffects of Communist tyranny and you shoudl all be more understanding.
LOL actually we were taught that babies come from the great leader’s love.
lol I think you were thaught that Soviets are jokers under the capitalist system. You are seriously suffering from brain halt…
Is your grandma a swimming pool?
*is part Bohemian*
*Bohemians make the Polish look intelligent*
Then your 1/4 contagious.
RUN.
geez yeah… ’nuff said!!!!
*runs to morbid mistresss hiding place and gets her out of there*
no offense there, polish parents are naturally hard on their daughters believe me… I know ^^
phew! thanks. was getting hot in there.
I’ll thank you for not doing that again.
You knew it was wrong too.
Sheesh. I feel like failblog cop today.
my bad. really, sorry. ;(
S’alright. Keep in mind we have a large global audience, and stereotypes and slurs are to be avoided.
I was actually just glad that we’d avoided the jokes as long as we did. I thought that someone referring to them without actually making one would make everyone else shut up. But thanks for saying something, Brewski.
*Thankyousqueeze*
if i was here i 12 hours ago when they put this on, i would’ve made Polish jokes, because my family is Polish and extremely…not of average intelligence
i do also happen to be part polish. but understood cap’n!
Wow, all hell’s gonna break loose next week without our failblog cop.
I thought it already does. The first comments are scaringly stupid.
HEY!
you’re not as nice as jenny… and CERTAINLY not as nice as Someone Nicer than Jenny…
Be nice again!
*raises his finger*
Ah, denial. Not just a river in Egypt.
*imagines giving birth to mutant human/crododile babies after swimming in the Nile* – So that’s where Ammit came from!
That pool must be one hell of a party…
Mal! We missed you! *Squeeze*
Yep, and today we have party crashers to go with it!
Ahhh geez she must’ve known that pool wasn’t filled with milk…
MAL!!!!
WTF?! You are shirking your duty! My failblog entertainment level has declined 32.85 percent!
I’m trying gosh darnit! But I’m not SuperWoman!!!
He doesn’t love us!!!! *cry … sob*
*sees two lovely failbloggers in squeezing range*
*gives double SQUEEEEZE*
*notes failblog entertainment level rising quickly.
Among other things*Says the one leaving us for China for a week!
Oh, is that what he told you? We’re actually running off together for some one on one…
Hmm. Leila looking for some one-on-one? Sweetie, when you have the Moomin, Arthur, Brewski, and Mal in your room, it’s no longer one-on-one.
*Squeeze*
You can have them Leila, but Bearly is mine!
But…I don’t want Bearly. I e♥ her but she doesn’t have the proper … ahem! … equipment.
Aiki, I left you off the list on purpose. I know very well that you’re in my room, no matter what Abstract says!
wait, what? what did I say? IDK, bit i stand by it…
k, I’ll take her..
Wha? No way! *grabs bearly in tug-of-war*
Uh oh.
*Secretly loves when Brewski and Aiki fight over her*
*Swings at Brewski*
*Purposely misses*
It’s Thursday… She’s mine. We agreed that I get her on all days that end in ‘y’.
Yeah, I guess so. That’s fair!
*thinks*
Wait a minute. Does “Friday” end in a “Y” or an “I”?
That means tomorrow she is yours. . .
I guess I can let you have Fridays… but only if she is okay with it.
*Is a little confused to see how neatly she’s been parceled out while she wasn’t paying attention*
*Holds the door to her room open with a puzzled expression*
*Waits for the appropriate FailFriend to enter*
*wanders in*
*squeeze*
Any chance of a cuppa?
*hands Moomin a cuppa-noodles
*
*walks in to Bearly’s room*
*lies nude in Bearly’s bed*
Hey sexy, how do you… AIKI! What are you doing here?
*wanders into room*
You have a fork I can borrow?
Hey Arthur! *waves*
*hastily covers private parts*
Hail Satan! Alas, no fork. Could you please… *points at door*
well, I get her on the days that start with ‘t’
*Counts on fingers*
Tuesday, Thursday…
Hmmm… I don’t know I want to give her up that many days…
How about a three some on those days?
I… where’s Leila to OBJECT?!
No cameras, ‘kay?
*lowers camera dejectedly*
Say what? When did we get assigned partners?
I said nothing about partners. She’s just the only one who can run fast enough to catch you, you tricky thing, you. Jenny tries, but she loses time on each squeeze-and-sniff.
*flees*
*right into k-k-k-katy*
Watch where you’re going, you silly ball of fluff or whatever it is you’re made of!
Ooooh…since I caught you, do I get a wish?
It’s my favourite potato! Fancy meeting you here?
What do you wish for?
P.S. The general consensus is am made of marshmallow. I reckon my tophat is made of liquorice.
True story: I used to think marshmallows were made out of plants that grew in marshes, like cat-tails or something.
.
And I wish…I wish for a bottomless bank account, and a vicar.
Awww
Hmmmmm.
Sadly your money dropped through the bottomless bank account, but the vicar’s bottom is open for business. . .
Argh that’s how it happens in ALL the fairy tales!!! *makes mental note to seriously think wishes through before speaking them aloud*
Muahahahahahahahahaha.
Sounds like a good time, all the same.
*checks in suitcase*
Remember Leila, you need to be quiet so customs and immigration doesn’t get suspicious.
Quiet as a mouse … shhhhhh. *wink*
*attaches neon sign saying “LOOK IN HERE” to suitcase*
Muahahaahahaa!
*runs away*
*squeezes all around*
I was on vacation Mon-Wed! Now I am back…bloody trolls never seem to quit. I guess we need to start sterilizing them… Aka…take the bloody warning labels off everything.
*snork*
So, how was the vacation? Anything good? Relaxing on a topless beach in San Tropez with your supermodel mistress?
*dreams*
I need to go on better vacations, apparently.
Either way, it was nice! I went to the western part of NC and hungout with some friends! It was great!
What is it with everyone coming to the Carolinas for vacation? Velvet was just in SC for hers. I try to leave the state, and you all move in!
It’s terrible isn’t it? We’re going to lower the property values!
If all of you lived here, you couldn’t pay me enough to move away. *Squeeze*
I’m going on a trip to Louisiana and then Mississippi at the beginning of next month, does anyone have some mosquito/bird spray I could borrow?
Wrong time to mention my trip to the Outer Banks next week?
You too! Wave when you go by me, ok? Oh, and if you see a scotch bonnet on the sand, pick it up for me. When I was younger my dad would collect shells there for me if it was too windy to go fishing.
*Squeeze and howdy!*
*squeezies for Mal*
There’s my favorite paralegal!
*looks @ Mal* Well…well…well … look at what the cat dragged in. *xtra hard squeeze*
*plllth*
I swear I didn’t drink any alalcohol! I just swam in the plool and when I got ou’ I wazz all drunky!
*eyes czuhc suspiciously*
Suuuurrrre you didn’t.
*nods*
That happens to me all the time, czuhc. Damn sinister poolkeepers.
We do offer legal representation to anyone who jumps into the pool with both feet, but forgets to keep those legs together. Thanks and….aww you know the rest.
Sounds more like it was The Nile (denial).
my question is, how did the semen get into the pool
Some guy was really happy.
Seamen / water … I dunno. Kinda goes together.
*snorkity*
Ahoy, sailor!
He was sent there by the Rear Admiral
I once had sex with a swimming pool.
The Filter?
She’s quite a cow.
Coming up next on MYTHBUSTERS!
Watch what you thay there, MYTHter!
It could happen.
Leila, I believe your seven days at the spa are up. Time to come back to work at failblog!
NO! You can’t make me!!!!!
*jumps off massage table, wraps towel around and runs*
Then there’s definitely not enough chlorine in the pool.
Well, it’s Egypt right? Maybe they don’t have to follow the same chlorine level standards as we would let’s say, here in the US.
I do believe the 13 year old is a little ho and mom is in absolute deNILE.I thought that they used bromine in the pools now?
YES, because when someones hormones cause them to do natural things, they are HOES.
But she was most likely sexually abused.
You realize a woman once had a TADPOLE go into her vagina and gave birth to a frog after swimming in a CHLORINATED pool, too.
No it couldn’t.
daughter excuse win.
I like your mouse.
I like your house.
I like your spouse.
I like your blouse.
I like your grouse.
I like your louse.
I like David Prowse.
I like your scouse.
I like to carouse.
I like to douse.
I like to rouse.
I like to bouse.
I like to get soused.
I like to get Klaus?
I like floss.
now, don’t get cross.
I lick your boss
I pick your noss.
I nick your hoss.
then lady should be wary of tis..dun go to pool anymore….lolz
I’m out for today you guys, I’ll be back after B-Ball practice
*waves goodbye and leaves love in the room*
actually, i must be off as well. it’s 8 am but it’s like my middle of the night.
bye as well. and thanks all, it was a lot of fun.
Watch those barbs the next time you’re back here!
i am actually a mistress and not a dominatrix…but it’s cool. i’ll wear something more sleek then.
Ok, this is the worst kind of denial. Firstly, I think we all agree here that it was something a little more personal than a pool that conceived this 13 year old’s child. That being the case someone has some serious responsibilities that they may never be asked to fulfill, to the great detriment of the girl and her child. The mother will lose her lawsuit and with it a lot of the family’s money that should have been taking care of the baby or the medical expenses of the girl which will be high since someone so young being pregnant is very dangerous to her health. I believe Shakespeare said it best, to create a perfect society “first kill all the lawyers”.
And the trolls. Seriously who’s manufacturing these cretins?
Actually we prefer the term attorney at law. We also request that you give us the respect and admiration that we deserve. After all, we are the ones that brought you cigarette warning labels, “Don’t consume Alcohol while pregnant” warning labels, and all kinds of exciting patent infringement suits. Thanks and enjoy a nice refreshing Bud Light for brunch.
Well, we do need lawyers, we just need lawyers who are not singularly obsessed by money, and will not, for example, sue 64 mil for a pair of pants.
But they were his favorite pants!
*rolls eyes*
Define “Favorite”
*fills in bank deposit slip with lots of zeroes*
So that’s why everyone keep taking Brewski’s pants!!!
That and the “Jordace” sewn on the back pocket.
*checks eBay*
There they are!!!
How did they get there?
*looks innocent*
I’m pretty sure the girl’s lawyer took the case pro bone-o.
There once was a girl named Leeza,
whose mother took her swimming in Giza.
Mom discovered the sphinx,
Leeza played with some dinks,
Now mom’s filing a suit from Silesia.
*golf clap*
*joins Judy in golf clap*
Network television gives us a steady diet of wannabes crooning cheesy pop songs while talent like this goes unrecognized? Bring us “America’s Got Limericks”!
This takes the old urban legend on a whole new level. There is a snopes-entry called “Pool Party” dealing with this myth, and they’ve even updated it with this recent lawsuit. Wow.
Writing a E-Mail to the mythbusters now.
I recently saw a 14 year girl seven months pregnant. I was so perplexed how could this be. She was but a baby herself. My heart was saddened and happy at the same time. She was bringing new life into this world.
Nupe.
Not a baby.
I wouldn’t be sad, I’d just kick her in the vagina and teach her boyfriend what a condom is.
Well, well. Someone is keeping the old ‘dumb Polack’ stereotype alive, I see…
I heard she died. Did she?
Ugh, so full…can’t…eat…more…..trolls.
What happened to McFail?
Do FBers become Trolls when they die?
Noooooo! If that’s what happens, someone had better find us a Sorcerer’s/Philosopher’s Stone very quickly!
Circle of Fail. . . .
Newby -> Regular -> Troll -> Reformed Troll -> Newby. . .
There is a second possibility:
Lurker->Newby->Regular->Lurker…
Troll -> Reprimanded Troll -> Lurker -> Newby ?
I don’t think I was ever a troll…
It is a cycle, there’s no set starting point.
So, you’re saying I will inevitably become a troll!
I think I just depressed myself
I was depressing everyone in Monkey Island last night as well. *sigh*
The new one for XBLA or the original?
There is a new one?
*has all the monkey islands for PC and Playstation*
Yeah, it’s a remake of the original I think, it’s awesome, you can switch between the original and new one at any point. They literally just updated the graphics, interface and added VO!
Sweet! No more playing of the old on emulators!
What console is it for?
*Is being lazy by not looking it up*
Xbox 360, It’s downloadable from XBLA.
The remake is for XBLA and is very posh indeed. I also have the PC and Playstation 2 versions though.
But. . . . . . .if you have a Wii, you can download the brand spanking new ‘Tales of Monkey Island’ which is being released in five parts. I think it is also downloadable for PC direct from Telltale Games and using STEAM.
*Writing notes furiously*
Now to sneak it past the future Mrs. Aiki… she doesn’t find them funny.
It’s not just a game, it’s a way of life
While I agree, I think mentioning it that way would shorten my life by a few decades.
I could always try:
I’m Aikiwaza and I am a mighty pirate!
You fight like a dairy farmer?
Mine went like this…
Newby-> Lurker -> Regular-> Lurker->
(I don’t post so much anymore, but I do miss you guys!)
*squeeziesqueeze*
*strikes last lurker*
You’re a regular who is too regularly away.
Couldn’t agree more with Arthur.
I could!
*tries to agree more*
*faints*
*hands Bearly a twenty*
Oh, will bribes work?
*throws another $20 in to convince WIK to stick around*
Bribe? It was a bet! I don’t think WIK accepts money for favo(u)rs, she’s not that kind of girl!
*takes 20* uh, of course I’m not GV, of course.
See Brewski? I knew it! WIK is awesome!
*gives WIK an admiring gaze*
*Accepts twenty*
*Wonders what kind of currency she has just won*
Zloty, of course.
*looks away guilty… gives back twenty.*
*SQUEEZES GV*
*looks pleasantly surprised at the sudden squeeze*
*Squeezes back*
*squeeze*
There’s a good chance I’m just wrong
SQUEEZE I elove you guys, I can’t stay away long.
I’m with you there. I have too many things going on right now to post all the time…but I DO miss everyone here, and I’m always a tad jealous of the people who started posting after me who are popular
*sneakily squeezes k-k-k-katy from the rear*
*openly squeezes katy’s behind*
*offers AE some potato chips*
*noms*
*squeezes*
I know right? I know its wrong, but I am too
I don’t know if I’m “popular”, but I hope you don’t mean me.
You guys are great. I really hope this isn’t a popularity contest.
It’s not? Why am I here then? Just for laughs and friendship? Pfft.
Popularity’s overrated. It’s also tiring!
Crap! I’m back in high school!
*goes to sit with the banc / choir geeks*
*shoots a back onto the c to make a d*
Here are your things, after winning that failblogarity contest the winner always gets crowned.
*Hands brewski a Tiara and scepter.*
Popularity matters a bit, what matters more is how much we appreciate ourselves by ourselves. – Some one with too many self esteem issues to allow him/herself to be quoted.
Are American High Schools really as segregated as they’re shown on television?
I can tell you, since my high-school experience was not that far off, that it is more of a hidden agenda rather than outright segregation.
*hangs out with the jocks*
*hazes a freshman*
*sneers at the geeks*
Well, mine was, kind of. There are the few people who fit in with everyone, my best friend is one of those. I was always a little jealous.
I was a “line blurer” I was a soccer player, ultimate frisbee player, hung out with some band people. Then here is the kicker. I had straight A’s but no glasses. Social awkwardness was my thing I guess as I used jokes out of the group I was currently in’s context.
I was a nerd. :/ I hung out with a group of guys who had a band in a garage (coolest kids ever) and a cheerleader and the school slut. I loved my high school friends and still do. It was weird to see how they all turned out.
Ive been moderated for describing the girl I hung around who liked to favor all the boys in school.
Oh, and when it came to wrestling for gym I was always in a stronger weight class since I had tae-kwon-do practice and my brothers whom I always sparred against. So I was a jack of all trades but a master of none.
My EXTREMELY over-protective and overbearing mother pulled me out of high school after my 9th grade year. Didn’t want her precious angel to get corrupted. BAHAHA the laugh’s on her now!!
k-k-k-k-katy, my most severe compliments upon your most delightful spud!
Home-school: blech!
I did the stupidest thing ever and graduated a year early, I missed out on so much! How cool would it have been to be a senior with no credits to earn!
I did something similar – took part of my senior year off and ran a commercial fishing boat, then coasted the rest of the year in “Creative Writing”, etc…
Made for an enjoyable senior year
Forgive my ignorance, but what’s a senior year?
Last year of high school for us in the US, there is freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior.
So you only have 4 years of High school? What age do you graduate, generally? Do you take your SATS at the end of your senior year?
We start at around 14 usually, and graduate at around 18 (yes I know it’s sometimes 17, dont get crazy) we take SAT’s Junior or Senior year (I know I did.) I took them in Junior year so I could know what I was working with and maybe re-take if I had to. I didn’t I did really good.
GV is to failblog as ____ is to the world.
There is a missing , in there somewhere its just too early to find it.
I kind of want to go back and take my ACT again…just to see, you know? It’s been close to ten years now. I made a 29 the one and only time I took it. I bet I’m nowhere NEAR that smart now!
I took the SATS in first year and scored higher than 47% of college-bound American students! I was a little nerd back then…and now too I suppose!
Hehe – I took the SATs in 7th grade (I was 12) and did well enough to get into quite a few colleges. In high school, I was a smarty pants band geek who managed to get along with just about everyone. Wouldn’t go back for anything, though!
*was a nerd, too* How did you find out how much better you did than college bound Americans? How do I find out how much better I did than college bound Irish? (got the 2nd highest score in the school, won’t mention that it was in Texas so it wasn’t that difficult)
When I got my results from the SATS it said, this score is higher than 47% of college bound Americans. I would have been 12 at the time too!
You’d need to take the Leaving Certificate, which you have to study for. I did awful in mine, only 330 points! I did have an excuse though.
No, then we’d be having trouble with ZA and at least 3 Patricias.
Too bad the phrase, “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt” doesn’t translate well into Polish.
Come on, the article, does say POLISH. Let the Polack jokes begin…
Let me polish off dinner first.
I wonder if she was impregnated by a POLISH sausage??
eww.
Polish men are gross.
13!!! She was 13.
*squeeze*
Everytime I see you, I want to watch Equilibrium again.
*squeeze*
It is always good to keep one’s balance. :O How have you been these last few days/months?
Fine thankyou. Had a very adventuresome week. How are you?
Doing rather well. Got some good recognition at work which is always nice. Seeming as how they are always ready to dish out the negative, it was nice to see them dish out some positive.
Adventuresome you say. I hope too many ankles didn’t get squeezed.
Yay! Congratulations you! People don’t get complimented for good work enough, it’s too often taken for granted.
Yarrrr, went to London to find some jam and was in a boat race. No ankles were squeezed though.
Sponge flavo(u)red jam? The result of the boat race? and aww, respectively of course.
Moomin won everything except the boatrace. I won cos I got the bestest Moomin squeeze. Woohoo!
So its good in the end. For all, and all is right in the world.
Why do I even read the comments section anymore? The only section worse than this one is the lolcats comment section, which is even more puerile and stupid.
And yet the people there have a better self-esteem and are less puerile than you. Strange that.
I second your question.
I’m sorry what was the question?
*squeeze*
He lost me after he asked it.
Well you had me at, “Ich Ihre zweite Frage.” (Google tranlate for I second your question).
Why do you bother to come to any of these sites, then? What do you stand to gain from such comments. If you don’t like it, leave us be – we’re actually having fun here. Tsk.
Anyone read Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk (the fight club guy)
it happens to a girl in that book.
yes, and I resent the (the fight club guy) he has better works. I just finished Survivor. Great read.
My GF and I just finished The Return of the Living Dead movie last night, does that count for anything?
Based on true events, you know.
WN!!! *squeeze!* yes, for you it does count. anyone else would be getting severely chastised.
Ahhh, thank you so much – and SQUEEEEZE back!
It’s been interesting. GF of now nearly one year has three 20-something daughters who are zombie movie addicts. Mom isn’t far behind, and for the first time in my life I’m watching zombie movie after zombie movie
I like ZA does that count? I’m not so big on zombie movies, except the really old gorey ones.
13 and pregnant…that’s sad.
What’s more sad is Mommy Dearest’s lack of education. Sperm would have died before getting to the girl. *eyeroll*
WOW… Stupid Europeans…
Yeah, haha, they all suck! Dumb folks, all 500 million of ‘em!
Yeah, them and their 100 or so different histories and cultures!
What with that dumb thing of populating and rediscovering the modern North America, oh and the other continents.
It’s because their own continent sucks so badly, they just had to leave it.
Only thing worse are those stupid fat Americans! Seriously! All they do is eat at McDonalds and get fat!
I keeeeel you all! And then I keeeeel you again! That’s the worst kind of dead!!!
Hey! You forgot drinking beer and watching Nascar! Duh!
We do however fully endorse Bubba J and Nascar.
Oh, shut the hell up!
Help! Judy came back from Jeff with multiple personalities!
OMG I love DUN-HAM. Peanut is hilarious. I always follow his stuff on youtube. Funds are to low/am too cheap to see him in real life.
We do not condone the use of alcohol by “spacecadet”. Obviously he can’t hold his refreshing Bud Light. We love Europeans and the billions of Euros in disposable income. Buy more Bud Light. It is good for cleaing engines, etc., etc…
musta been some really hard water …
I soda see what you’re getting at.
I gotta admit, that’s a really nice looking pool.
I agree, at least the baby will be attractive from the genes on its fathers side.
I pity the fool mom.
I pity the pool mon.
Jah bless!
i think the biggest fail here is putting ‘Fail’ and the failblog watermark overtop of the actual text of the story.
An epic WIN is that this is actually what I thought first and just wanted to post! Let’s send this in as “Overlay Text Positioning Fail”…
LOL!
This will eternal upset my trust in holiday swimming pools.. or..well maybe it won’t xD
nice fail
pools need to man up for messing with women. This isn’t the first story….pools grow up!!!!
Those damn pools are all the same. Just ask my mother
Welcome to Poland
Come one come all, you’re invited. This from us at LOLCats:
Ohai again!!!!
Next week, one Toosday the 21st, at the 3 PM EST LOL, we will has the premeer of our latest LBT produckshun: Star Warz!
Aftur much deliberashun, the working title will be: Understudy Tiffs! (fanx to LCB)
We has started casting.. Some parts has been filled, but we have some open still!!
We already has
two_kittehs cast in the roll of Prinsess Leia… she has her sininininiimon buns all ready.
Chewy Bacca: Ambercat
R2D2 (cud possibly be combined wif C3PO if we don’t get enuf actors…in which case it wud be RC23DP2O) – CaramelChef
Yodi-Aahz Kittobeh- Aahz
Jd- roll to be named latur
But we still needs:
Han So Low
Luke
And of corse there is always the villain… Dark eVader!!
Obviussly we has an overabun dunce of parts for men, but u does not have to be a men to play a mens roll.
That’s why it’z called acting!!
If any of u has an interest in playin any of these rolls, plz to speak up!!
Reply
lunarmommy
July 15, 2009 at 9:16 am
ohai, i will re-postify dis becawz it wuz at end ob last LOL:
hey, brewski being heer haz gibbed me a idea, for teh peeples hoo iz organizifying teh Low Budjit Theyater fing: mebbee culd invte teh nice faylblog peeps if tehy wants to partys – pastysi -parpisi – joyn in. an remind tehm taht if tehy haznt posted on ICHC before tehy shold make tehms furst post well in advanse, like teh day before, to redoose tehms danjur ob being nommed by wurdpress. i rebember wen we had teh formula LOL rayse, sum tryed to joyn in but gotted moderatifyed owt ob egg sis tents.
*couldn’t read most of this, giggles about Zach and Miri memories*
I’ve marked my calendar to try to come and watch the show. I don’t want to commit to playing a part, because that’s usually my busy time of day (after slacking around here all morning.)
Looking forward to it, and thanks for the kind invite!
Bom momme,
I won’t be able to attend, I’ll be asleep! (3am in China)
Thanks for the invite! Have fun!
Fangs fur teh invite BOM. Unfortunately, that was the extent of my LOLspeak. My knowledge of Star Wars is even worse (I don’t know if I should admit this in public, but I often confuse Star Wars with Star Trek… Shun me! SHUN!!). Sounds like fun nonetheless, and I will try to be there for the live production.
spelling FAIL…
Correct, this is all just a misunderstanding due to bad translation. The mother wasn’t complaining about her daughter being impregnated by a pool, but by a Pole.
but aren’t they Poles themselves?
Nonono, it WAS a POOL in polish newspapers too. If it was a pole this wouldnt be in newspapers.
She’s referring to Frank Poole.
He fled to space to avoid alimony payments?
Two years ago, we discovered the first evidence for intelligent life outside the Earth.
“Stray” sperm? Don’t they have a leash law?
I’m never be in that place…
Thats’s not ur face!
Damn, that’s not my face T~T
Nice to see someone who uses “Pedobear” as his name AND has a photo of his own face as an avatar (I presume) here on the Intelligence Fail. Wrong grammar isn’t be necessary, really.
I be lovin u Arthur. srsly. *snork*
I’m never be thinking that. Great! *squeeze*
Still, beats getting pregnant from a pole.
or in the wrong hole.
Wrong in your opinion!
The “it slipped” excuse won’t work anymore for you mister.
Damn! I mean… excuse? It was unintentional, really!
there was spermwhale in the pool and he came
No, he blew
Well, the lady is Polish.
and? what’s with that?
I think it speaks by itself
She can’t be Polish. I mean she didn’t steal a car or sumpin’.
So…if she was Italian she would kill the pool?
Hm… A pregnant teenager is more like british standard as far as i know.
stupidity win¡¡¡¡¡
Sex ed FAIL
were they naked in the poop, how can sperm get through her swim suit…..swimsuit fail
poop!
pool
Add some spermicide additive for pools. Also regulate PH.
Some special Tide in cold water for missfire on clothing, on sales next week.
thats wrong when some one has to pee in the pool now sombody has to go on and do that?
how is babby formed?
EVERYONE STOP BASHING HER!!!! SHE IS MY COUSIN!!! AND SHE NEVER WANTED TO GET PREGNANT SHE JUST WANTED A NICE FAMILY VACATION!! NOTHING MORE!
Then she shouldn’t have slept with that guy.
You mean with that pool.
I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT POOL!
(Bill Clinton)
Oi.. No one knows for sure if she is hiding something…
WOW!!!! This just goes to prove all the Polish jokes and stereo-types very true! Every one knows that the chemicals used in pools are more than enough to kill any “stray sperm”. And every one also knows the only way to get knocked up in a pool is if you’re f*cking in it and the guy spooges inside her……Dumb Polocks.
Plus, even if it weren’t full of chemicals, even if it were exact body temperature, even if she were standing right next to the guy that did it… sperm cannot swim in water. Their natural environment is much more viscous.
Please take your racist remarks somewhere else. Preferably down the toilet.
And what’s exactly racist about those remarks, Mr. Illiterate?
I hope to god you are joking and not truly an idiot… as “dumb polocks” is quite obviously a racist comment…
Someone who thinks 1 case vindicates all stereotypes and makes them true calls other people stupid… I’m loosing all my faith in people. You’re not much smarter than the woman from article. And you don’t even know what exactly ’stereotype’ word means *sight*
HUGE, EPIC, AWESOMENESS RETARDED PARENTING Fail.
denial win?
Stay away from the shores ladies, you might end up giving birth to mermaids.
When her parents find out it was not the pool, they’ll probably chop her head off. Sad.
You fail, Fail Blog.
Fail for posting bad taste FAILs.
Photoshopped
LOL!!
its was a cosplay guy which dressed like deadpool…
That mother is such an idiot. She should’ve known better than to let her daughter go skinny dipping!
maybe thats how the virgin mary got knocked up
I hate to sound like a dick but that was a bit offensive, personally I believe it was human parthenogenesis
In health class we learned that this was possible, all the same, they are prolly faking
I highly doubt sperm can survive in a chlorine environment, plus you also need to prove someone jacked off in the pool
No, precoital fluid can contain sperm, and can come out at any time, since there are 7 billion people on earth, the odds fit.
Was your health class 20 years ago?
the pool is closed due to AIDS
Right now Sarah Palin is saying, “D’oh – why didn’t I think of that?!”
Nah this aint possible, that girl was a whore. Awesome though.
Yes, she is a whore.
Because naturally, 13 year olds are supposed to think sex is gross, right? /sarcasm
And I think she was sexually abused…
Ok, I’m just curious, because I’ve never been a vagina, but don’t they stay clamped shut most of the time. I mean it’s not like a vagina is a gaping hole that with water swishing around, right? Or are all the women in pools constantly getting douched?
Hmm…i wonder if this excuse will work on MY mom…
didnt it cross the mothers mind that maybe her daughter couldnt keep her legs shut before they went on vacation ?
was is a swimming pool or regular pool as in billiard with a cue stick
If i was the judge, i would throw out the case, then sue the mother for trying to peddle her stupidity
Bingo!
heard about this ages ago…. I remember in high school where we talked this, my high school teacher said it was possible….. LOL he Failed as well
test
Can you elaborate on that? I’m sure some of us might disagree.
Did the pool buy her dinner first?
I liek mudkipz
test
failure
how do i display my image on posts (shoot web)?
I’m sure we all see the next logical step would be to charge the pool with rape and send it to prison.
sarcasm win!
Yeah, somebody obiously must have had a sarcasm in the pool. Otherwise that girl would not be pregnant.
dam you “seaman”
BWAHAHAHAAAA! SARCASM! GET IT?
No?
Well … okay … I’d better go to bed now, I’m embarassed.
I’d call this self-betrayal fail
C_U_N_T
You misspelled “count”.
That lady makes us Polaks look bad -.-
Not really. Media publish the same story every year during summer. It makes you wonder whose fail it really is.
They should get all the male people in the hotel and do a DNA test to find the father
Immaculate Conception???
2nd Coming???
or just happened on the 2nd Cumming?
I was taught the Birds and the Bee’s when I was a kid. This story sounds like a some story of pollination.
Bound-to-FAIL
That what it should read :d
Any one notice this is Jackos pool from Neverland ranch? This is most likely bogus. Is the world running out of fails?
The water raped her. It happens.
LOL. Poles = morons.
This is NOT funny. This poor girl didn’t even do anything wrong. She was just swimming having fun and today somewhere in the world there is a 14 year old single mother, dropped out of middle school, and will never have any life because of that one day she was having fun. And now it’s on fail blog. Shame!
Isn’t there a bridge somewhere you should be hiding under?
chlorine kills sperm on the spot. It never happened
Right, because chlorine definatley cant kill the sperm in semen.
god did it! she will bring life to the new messias and he is a half fish! xD
haha
ok ok.. this makes me think of that case of pregnancy from a bullet that went through a soldier testicle into the womb of a women.
Mythbuster said it was not plausible.
now lets ask them to test the probability of pregnancy through pool water.
Well how else would it have happened?
Im sure there werent any guys around or anything like that. I mean, imagine the birth certificate. Father:Swimming Pool
that’s old, and odd even. Well basically poles are smart people (with some exceptions : D, according to the article). this situation was talked over in almost every newspaper and on the internet
i’m pretty sure that mother is proud of her, but i still wonder how will the children look, with a marble-brick face and hydrocephalus perhaps.
Cheers from Poland, place where you never get bored
Maybe those were Sea People from South Park cartoon? if so, there’s no need to worry. their civilization will die soon. does anyone remember them
?
Ahaha, i expect the conversation with the dad to invole a lot of the word “Kurwa”. She probably got jiggy and is afraid to tell her parent’s. Fiver she’s from Bydgoscz.
God, even when poles write the word Kurva, it looks weird as hell. xD
well polish people don’t have sex education in their schools so I’m not surprised
dumb twats
A twat was involved, it was also polish. And we do have sex-ed, when i use to go. But it works opposite.
How come i never met any not-dumb Monika in my life even thought i know 5 of them?
And as far as i know there is sex education in school in Britain but still % of teenage mothers there is highest in whole EU.
First?
Piss off.
Go f… yourself)
cum in, the water’s lovely!
a sperm dies in 5 mins after being in a recipent, it would defore swiming 5 inches
excellent site. my first time here. I almost pissed my pants.
first off u the secound sperm hits water it dies
damn Egyptians with their mix gender pools. their pools should be segregated damnit.
OK… I think there are two ways we can go about this situation:
1. Sperm from somebody at the pool swam through the water and into the girl’s swimsuit (… don’t try to think about it that much)
2. She had sex/had been raped/had been sexually abused BEFORE, DURING, OR AFTER the family vacation and such action is showing its results.
It COULD be 50/50.. but I think it’s pretty much 10/90.. or 1/99…
Funny, there are lots of “mixed” pool in the world and only THIS one gets bashed.. :-/
Wow. Sperm? Don’t pools contain chlorine which kills everything including sperm? It’s sad that this mother is in denial about her daughter having sex at a very young age. Now she’s going to spend their tax dollars on her denial and stupidity.
This has been actually known to happen. Ancient Jewish Mishanic sources describe situations in which an unmarried woman is pregnant and allows for leniency, citing the possibility of semen entering her body during bathing….
This is pure denial, end of discussion
OMG! All that contagious news are always from Poland. And Poles dunno why are they called fools
Polish inteligence rlz!
That pool got my son pregnant too!
AND every pregnant teenager in Egypt! Wow, that pool is such a whore!
Wow that sperm will grow up to be a olympic swimmer if he/she managed this feat!
could be worse, the pool might have had AIDS.
or stingrays
*Gasp* Its The Long Lost Pool Of Birth!
It’s funny cause they spelld 13 wrong
She should stop pooling around.
Har har.
some 1 should tell her that her daughter was not just swimming on that holiday
Watch her give birth to Aquaman XD
EPIC
O żesz kurwa jego mać, nawet na Failblogu wiedzą o tym, co się dzieje w naszym kraju Oo’.
Bo tylko w naszym kraju z calego cywilizowanego swiata mozna znalesc tak zacofanych ludzi ktorzy potrafia wymyslic takie bzdury. :/
aha i nie przjejmuj sie. Mowili o tym w wiadomosciach w UK, USA i nawet w Australii.
Już bez przesady. Masz tu tysiące anglojęzycznych przykładów głupoty, a czepiasz sie jedynego polskiego…
See now i feel like an idiot because I was trying to move the half-mouse that’s on the left side of the picture.
Sick… nothing else.
Shit like that makes me ashamed being Polish. Gezzzz!!!!
Hey, if the pool was heated and un-chlorinated it’s possible.
yes, in poland we have also stupid peoples
De Nile. Someone’s been swimming in it.
That girl is probably laughing her ass off that her mom is so stupid.
A stray sperm?
Mommy should check if she is still a virgin if mommy is really positive that she didnt meet any guy on vacation she would still be a virgin
That’s Michael Jackson’s pool in Neverland! HAHAHAHA!! It seriously is.
I know, was about to comment that…. double fail
Idiots, women may get pregnant even sitting on the closet when there was sperm. Spermatozoids lives in water. Learn biology, IQ masters
I thought sperms cannot move unless they’re in the female’s body. xD
The pool is the father. yaay
NO! This proves that all those hundreds of pool-boy-screwing-rich-housewife porn movies have a truthful base!
YES… THE POOL IT MUST BE IT ;>.>
LOL. That was just a shame for Poland (where I’m from)! That mother should better watch her daughter. xD
BTW it’s not possible. Smart one, you are an idiot.
denial fail
if anyone believes the pool got this girl pregnant kill yourself
Well I don’t know if it could be annother tourist but I think we
can rule out any local boys having gotten her pregnant.
You see she’s Polish and according to a survey conducted with
Egyptian teenage males most of them said “I don’t do Poles”
This joke is the result of having worked in Market research too
long… ^_-
pool-boy, half-man, half-swimming-pool
Odd at first glance, but then I thought more. If egyptian, then likely Muslim. The punishment for having sex outside of marriage in some sects (called Zina) is death by stoning if you are married. If you are not married, it is 100 lashes – which at the least would cause permanent scarring. This mother is trying to protect her child from this I think. Now it seems very sad.
Since they are Polish, they are most likely Roman Catholic. Therefore Sharia law has nothing to do with it.
hi fives recollection of old favorites
Or it’s an R&R baby. This picture is a Fail.
Well, if you cut out the boys part… perhaps immaculate conception?
Yay new Jesus?
Or possibly the Anti-Christ… oh dear, decisions…
But yeah; too young to be having the babies. Especially totally unexpected babies that one tries to blame on some jack off’s proud work in a pool.
Likely abuse put aside, consensual sex put aside, her mental state put aside, you can’t get child support out of a pool. If that baby comes out to be the first human able to talk to water -and have water understand it- I’ll cry because it wasn’t me and be totally unsurprised!!
hahahah how can you be so stupid
stupid polish people calling themselfes christians and having 13 year old horny children hahahhaah wow hahaha a stray of sperm HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA