Handlebar Grips Fail
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Dickbar
Headdesk
And where can I get one of these “Dickbars”?
In every single dickbike shop.
Sold exclusively by Dickmann’s
Exclusively for dickbikers.
SOld at dicks sporting goods
Get the bike jack.
Must be a nun’s bike.
Must be Paris Hiltons bike… >.>
The very best in anti-dudestolemybikery. Unless a very bright bike theif dude calls no homo twice before riding off with it.
heh… riding.
Facepalm
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
*curses all trolls of the world*
Win is more like it.
Hells yeah!
the picture didn’t show where the third one was placed
Or the fourth
Ooooh! I want a bike like that! Do they have one with one on the seat?
Bet you feel a right pen!s riding that.
and a left one too.
what about one for the middle?
Is that the same as one for the road?
I wouldn’t want to handle this bar.
Screwed either way.
Your diction is, as always, spot on.
*SMOOCH*
Good morning to you two!
*doublesqueeze*
Hee, glad we weren’t fully nested. V
*SQUEEZE!*
Good morning!! I’m glad to see that none of us are sissies here.
*GROUP SQUEEZE*
Raise your hand if you have to get ready for work in three hours.
Better keep your hands on the bars.
.
My apologies for the interference.
*runs asay*
The “s” is the new “w”.
wo shat sere you santing to impress our sanderless sedges *brain* sith?
wo shat sere you santing to impreww our sanderleww sedgew *brain* sith?
I’ve corrected your sriting errorw.
*applauwe*
“handw on the barw”?
ras is sar
This must be Lance Armstrong’s bike.
New Nike slogan for Lance: Just Beat It! *from both sides*
You need a single white glove for those handlebars? Dilemma.
Eeeeep!
Up to the four–poster with you!
That’s an order I can’t refuse. Don’t be long.
‘Night all.
G’night.
*squeeze*
*squeeze* harder and tighter
You never fail to turn me on.
*SMOOCH!*
Swings both ways.
Love Handles…
…ur doin it wrong
Brewski will not be pleased.
Good morning all! I noticed that F*ck’s posts are still up !?
Strange. They replied to me that they’ll find his posts…
They did but thought they were funny ???
They failed to find them?
FB is sponsored by McDonald’s?
“F*ck” is one of the admins?
Ronald McDonald is one of the admins?
Maybe that f*ck (teehee I used it as a verb) has enchanted the posts with a spell that kills everyone who tries to delete them! Or even worse, makes them not wanna do it anymore!!!
*googles for similar incidents in the past*
okay… maybe the thought they were funny…
I think you meant “adjective” not “verb”.
CRAP
Sorry I meant:
Sir yes sir, an adjective sir!
just thought of a song while writing it:
“love is a verb here in my room”
sowwy!
ATTEEEEENSHUN!
BAAAAAACK STRAIGHT!
QUICK MARCH LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT
This is my rifle, this is my gun,
this is for fighting and this is for fun!
Full metal jacket. Or full soft jacket.
Me rove you rong time!
wossy, I believe you mean.
You meant “crap”? Now I don’t understand what you were trying to say.
I hope you don’t mind me calling you Mr. Eld, Arthur, but I was so shocked that I crapped my pants… i just forgot these **…
after all, it is 11 am over here…
We express actions like that, so it must have been *craps* or better *craps pants*. Although I’d say that would have been an overreaction for an error…
Dunno, the grammar police can be pretty scary at times.
*bangs down door*
FREEZE! GRAMMAR SQUAD!
That’s why I’m wearing diapers.
Damn you, Grammar Squad! *shakes fist*
But ok.
*freezes Grammar Squad*
*licks it like ice cream*
okay now… okay now I… I have two fingers… I have four fingers….
*does the hokey pokey and turns himself around*
Eh, actually he meant noun.
I think you meant that you think Noct meant noun not adjective.
I believe it was used as a noun. A common noun, to be exact.
The admins were rick rolled?
Katz is awake… Greetings!
I think being rick rolled would make them angry wouldn’t it??
I have been rick rolled once… it was terrible…
My computer didn’t talk to me for weeks…
I have not been rick rolled, but I’m sure it’s unpleasant. My computer is currently giving me the cold shoulder. I get to go home an reload all of my applications. *Sigh* Stoopid viruses. Atleast I can visit with you folks when at work.
*Places ad for Failblog in Nocta’s name*
I suppose girls should like it. Either way…
i feel some1 forgot 2 take their dildos off the assembly line
That’s the dickmobile
It’s in fact a bidickle.
I once had a heavy rodaccident on one of those.
Was 4nal involved??? That would have been pretty sphincter…
*snickers* I said “pretty sphincter” ^^
Now It’s a 3 Seater!!
♫ But you’ll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two ♫
♫ I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike… ♫
hehehe
Apparently I didn’t get it.
You’re not sitting in the correct position. :p
that’s impossible!
If you keep moving your hands on this bike, the handles get longer.
yea, but it gets harder to steer.
When it’s cold it is also harder to steer.
I always thought cyclists looked c0cky as they sauntered to the front of traffic jams.
It’s the d1cks that ride them.
stuck in traffic can be such a boner. that’s why i ride my bike…very pleasureable.
I don’t ride my bike much. I find my seat’s a hard on.
Oops forgot an ‘e’. :angel:
You fined your seat for having a hard-on?
Roger that!
I erection it should pay me compensation too.
You don’t fancy making it do hard time in prison?
Woody deserve hard time for something so small?
I dong think so.
Jail time would be a stiff penalty.
Tour de Farce anyone?
I hate it when they try to run you over and then yell at you.
training handles for a pr0n-star?
*mornin’
*
They practice by riding the office bike?
(howdy)
You shouldn’t be pedaling those rumours about, Mr Moomin. Tsk!
(Hello. How morbid a mistress are you? *grins*)
I guess falling DOWN would be a cock UP!
What’s wrong about the pict…? aah now I get it! there should be a light on that holder… but it’s not that funny….
*mumbles gibberish and shakes his head*
Mooorning!!!
I hope you’re being sarcastic.
General look what I just remembered!!
“There once was a man from Nantukkit
Who kept all his cash in a bukkit.”
g’morning mate!
Oh, alright.
*hands Noctaluca a
fakebukkit**snickers*
Sir thank you sir!
*kikks the bukkit*
They’ve parked too close to the fence and the bike has no reverse gear. Hahahahahahahahaha.
Hullo.
They have to sell the bike without mentioning the fence.
Whatever you do, don’t mention the fence!
*snickerw*
wnickers?
Yew, of courwe.
Shy are se wpeaking like thiw?
Czuhc told us to do that.
*shrugs*
Now stand on your heads and sing the Norwegian anthem.
*stands on head*
Ja, vi elsker dette landet
som det stiger frem,
furet, værbitt, over vannet,
med du tusen hjem.
Elsker, elsker det og tenker
på vå far og mor
og den saganatt som senker
drømme på vår jord.
og den saganatt som senker
drømme på vår jord.
Norske mann i hus og hytte,
tak din store Gud!
Landet ville han beskytte
sjønt det mørt så ut.
Alt hva fedrene har kjempet,
mødrene har grett,
har den Herre stille lempet,
så vi vant vår rett.
har den Herre stille lempet,
så vi vant vår rett.
Ja, vi elsker dette landet
som det stiger frem,
furet, værbitt, over vannet,
med du tusen hjem!
Og som fedres kamp har hevet
det av nød til seir
også vi når det blir krevet,
for dets fred slår leir.
også vi når det blir krevet,
for dets fred slår leir.
Angeber!
*attempts to bow*
*knocks self out*
*stands on head*
Err… ♫ Oh say can you see Norway…♫ No, that’s not it.
♫ Aux armes, Norwegians…♫ Hmm.
♫ Einigkeit und Recht und Norwegen…♫ Nö.
I don’t know their anthem! Can I turn around? I’m getting dizzy.
Wow you new the first line of the German anthem??
JÃ¥g heter Marc.
Er ist Deutsch, mein Freund.
…and it’s not that new…
Warum kann hier jeder deutsch??? Crazy!!!!
perfect english… couldn’t tell… wow… but why can he… why does everybody here…
Ah! I get it… everybody is afraid of the grammar squad…
The German anthem has one of the most beautiful melodies (by Haydn).
I once memorized the Norwegian anthem. Shortly after I happened to meet a Norwegian professor and felt compelled to sing the anthem to him. Strange thing was that he was not surprised that I could sing it. The only thing he said was “But do you know what a saganatt”is ?”.
Maybe he was disappointed you didn’t give him a pecker on each cheek as well?
The lyrics are very nice too – the third strophe, that is.
What is a saganatt?
Tried to reply two times, got eaten.
I give up.
You shouldn’t insult my country’s anthem that bad.
*wankers?*
fencing can be quite hard…to learn.
(just too many jokes for this one, eh?)
Would this be a WIN if they’d replaced the seat, instead?
Just found this rather odd story. Clickie.
I bet they’ll find lots of dead penguins in those traps.
p-p-p-p-p-p-pick up a penguin.
*squeeze*
*picks up a penguin*
*has no idea what to do with it*
*uses it to clean his toilet*
Suck on that, PETA!
(*squeeze*)
*bangs down door*
FREEZE! PETA, POLAR DIVISION!
Sowwy.
*hands over slightly stained penguin*
*grimaces*
Now, don’t let us catch you doing that again
on the secret cameras we’ve put all over your house.*takes a bucket of paint and spills it all over AE*
oh… sorry… I must’ve spilled a little acid in the bucket when I mixed the paint…
*takes a bit of skin from the ground and gently places it on AE’s skull*
*Faints*
*Catches Katz before she hit’s the ground*
It’s okay… we’ve got him… Here, the pill is for the pain…
*slowly comes around*
The penguin.. is he okay? Why, Arthur? Why?
*takes penguin to hospital for medical treatment and therapy*
Why does a dog lick his balls? Coz I can! Don’t whine, I could have shagged the damn thing, tortured it to death and then eat it!
*crashes down back door*
Right, into the unmarked black van, NOW!
More penguins?
*licks lips*
faints…
ok now *faints*
*wakes up in bubble again*
what the?…
Sherew Happy Feet shen you need him!
“trying to work out the ins and outs of this”… perverts…
*shakes head*
I knew about this odd story. Clicky.
Isn’t this the bike that Mr.Garrison invented on South Park.
definitely a win
indeed.
i would totally cycle with those
I would call it a “win”. =P
Bicycle Maintenance Win???
Bipedal Masterbation Win???
*tackles Moomin for a squeeze*
Busy Making (me) Whine?
I like this one =D
creativity win.
Thats not a Fail! Thats good!
I’m glad they didn’t show the seat… I’m terrified of what could be there now…
*hides under desk with coffee cup and computer*
You think they would.. no the couldn’t… the mustn’t!!
*runs home and hides under the bed*
Dude… I’m one big giant fail today… that should’ve been a reply… good grief…
Where?! Where are the couldn’t and musn’t?
Behind they…
I’m sorry Grammar squad! the y button on my keyboard doesn’t work… I should probably call the IT-Department… sorryy!!
Please don’t send me to grammar camp again!
Hmmm….
We’ll let you off this time, Noctaluca, but if we catch you again…
*wields baton menacingly*
*whispers*
Oh, okay.
Say, why are the Grammar Squad here?
*puts GB in handcuff*
You have the right to remain silent… and I suggest that you do.
*Changes to “handcuffs” * Doh!
Curses! My plan has been foiled again!
*Gives Nocta 2 Y’s*
I knew what you meant.
*squeeze*
*takes the Y’s and puts them in his special little box*
thanks so much I will keep them until they are really needed!!!!
*picks up Katz and squeezes her*
*Giggles*
This is like deja-vu all over again.
I think we should just call it phallic-blog!
Breewwskayyyyy!!!
*hugs brewski in a non gay way (although I have nothing against gay’s, I’m just not gay myself)*
I have a nice pic of a fountain near my place… it looks like a d1ck… but I didn’t load it up yet…
Hi Noctaluca! How is a “gay” hug any different from any other hug?
You’re welcome to upload, but if you’ve read my earlier posts, you know I’m personally getting pretty tired of all the penis-shaped objects. It was a little funny at first, but after the 200th picture, it starts to get old! But to each his own, of course.
You’ve been posting a while now, how about getting an avatar? Gotta get ready to go to work, ciao for now.
Noctaluca, for an avatar, go to gravatar.com
Thanks GBFMot3WCCTDEoHoTBNrTSotHBBTPoGBFSJA!!
I always kept wondering why you had such cool avatars!! ^^
*gives GBFMot3WCCTDEoHoTBNrTSotHBBTPoGBFSJA!!
pat on the back*
Yes Mr Breswski we still laugh at p e n i s like school children.
Good morning. +handshake+
Good point there Brewster!
Wat if I tell you that the Waterfountain has WATER coming out ONTOP of it???? huh huh??? Isn’t that funny??? okay… yeah it isn’t…
Hasta la vista Brewsta!
okay wish me luck!
*klicks on Add Comment*
Ouhkay! gotit! Now I have to get home and upload a picture that DOESN’T show me as a pantomime…
WTF? Make it stop!
Aaaarrrrghhh!
(Only kidding but it does kind of look like The Scream when it’s a thumbnail.)
Yeah… It’s yesterdays Jam… “but actually that saying doesn’t make any sense… cause Jam lasts for ages…” Quote from what TV series??
first one to guess it right gets a Hoe ^^
Sorta freaky avatar Noctalula. Good morning.
G’morning there!
Yeah that’s the outcome of me having too much time and facepaint at home ^^
fail? more like win
Handledicks…
Hold on to it when going down…
I think the truely disturbing part here is that these are probably USED!! I can’t imagine they are new considering how cheap bicycle handgrips are
Picture Source, funnier than this recaptioning:
http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/household/
That make me think of Brüno …
Gave that bike to my niece, it’s her favorite bike. She goes for hour long rides
chick bike.
Everybody, watch your dirty mind!!
So, in desperate attempt to find new material, Fail Blog is now swiping images from a site where every photo is a sex-toy joke.
Yet another Fail Blog Epic Fail
Fap fap fap.
Maybe this is the bike of the girl who’s mother is suing the Egyptian hotel because the pool got her preggo??
In soviet russia, bike rides you. Bike rides you HARD.
Double dildo bike sold exclusivley at Dick’s Sporting Goods!
gives a new meaning to riding the handlebars
you can get ahead in traffic by using these handlebars
so THIS is what Bruno’s bike looks like!!!
Come on that’s a total win, noone would ever steal that bike, it’d be easy to identify, and it’d encourage conversations with strangers. WIN!
now all it needs are streamers coming out of the dick-tips. :X
I see no fail. Is it something really obvious that I just didn’t notice? *is ignorant*
Congratulations everyone, you’ve been dickrolled.
The pedals are vaginas and you should see the seat!
Is that a dickbar in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I am *so* doing this to my mountain bike! Give new meaning to “full suspension”! ;-P
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
In Australia, we have a phrase “doubling your mate on the bike”. It refers to when your friend rides on the handlebars while you cycle… so this image is piss funny to me!
Totally gives new meaning to doubling your mate on the handebars. LOL
Wow, that’s an odd way for Dickie Dee to make a comeback. Where’s the ice cream, I wonder…. Oop. Maybe I shouldn’t ask.
wow. that’s not a fail – def a win. /chick
Isn’t that Bruno’s bike?
Yeah more like handlbar win
Also available in black for much larger bikes
I can ride my bike with no handlebars,no handlebars.
wonder what the seat looks like
FAIL???
This is an EPIC WIN!!!
It’s funny cause it’s a bike
Mobile handjob..how come I didn’t think of that?
i totally agree with jerry311. that’s a total win.
I can have 2 girls ride my handlebars
my handlebars
my handlebars
Mmmm… Id like one of those handle bars in me…