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I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
Didn’t the last fail help you up?
“I believe i can fail”
those ladies are really falling for that guy
hahahaha ur a dick man
more like, “I’ve failen and I can’t get up”
and yes I’m aware of the grammer issue, it’s on purpose
What about the spelling issue?
♫ I believed I could fly. ♫
No, it made me front heavy.
*coughpreviousfailcough*
r u ok!?
hairball. Am ok now.
The hazards of being Fluffy.
That’s the reason no one dared to strip down to their birthday suits today…all thanks to the boobies in the previous fail.
*quietly starts dressing again.*
*had fun at the beach*
*Refuses to leave beach*
*Grabs Aiki’s tail to keep him from walking away*
*undresses again*
*lays back down*
*sighs contentedly*
Silly Bearly and Tiger!!! Nude beach eh? Rock on!!!!
Private beach, Leila. The nude part… well.
*has actually been on nude beaches*
*has spycam pictures*
*adjusts position*
But did you join?
I have too, many years ago, but was too shy at the time to participate. That’s probably the only time I’ve felt awkward because I had too many clothes on.
Well, of course I joined!
Erm…”shy” has never really been one of my character traits. I know…you’re all fainting with shock at this revelation.
Hee! Go read what I wrote on Reading Fail.
Really? I never would have guessed!
Ohmigoodness…that was an interesting conversation! I’m sorry I missed it.
But of course I could count on you to knock that stupid “beautiful = stupid” stereotype out of the water!
*SMOOCH*
And confident = haughty/domineering.
*SMOOCH*
Admiral, I assume you are referring to my post in the last fail. I think I may have made a poor choice of words, but I supsect you guys know what I meant. I’ve met (and dated) some women who thought they were God’s gift to mankind, and didn’t treat a relationship as working both directions; give and take. “Confident” is an asset. “Overly self-centered and Narcissistic” is not.
I’m pretty sure we’ve all dated people like that, Brewski…men and women alike.
No, Brewski! Not you. I’m not judging you. This a known problem women face. Men have a tendency to judge confident women way too harshly.
*squeeze*
Well, you haven’t had a real man until you’ve dated ME, sugar!! I’ll rock your world! Why don’t you come take a little ride on the Magic Brewski, you won’t regret it!! Hey, watch me flex my biceps!!
*Hans and Franz muscle poses*
*snerk*
Um…I mean *SQUEEZE*!
Ha! Unfortunate placement of my post there. ^^^
*squeezes Brewski’s biceps*
Mmmm, firm.
(For the record, women can and do misjudge confident women as well.)
Love is the ability to say you’re sorry and mean it.
Self love is never having to say you’re sorry.
*Is wondering what else they saw*
I’ll never tell!
I’d rather you didn’t show, either.
*Takes Lurk’s camera*
*runs in*
Did some one say show and tell?
Bearly, that’s quite a show!
Too late!
Mwahahahahahaha!
Too late Bearly! The film’s already developed.
*points to her name*
Anybody want pics?
*grins*
*Will pass…This time.*
*gets online to buy IUL a new camera*
Don’t worry IUL … it will get here soon.
Who needs the pictures? It was unforgettable.
Well, we did get away with it for a long time! Just hold still and they’ll go away.
*Freezes in place*
*Realizes that she’s still in a compromising position*
*Panics*
I seeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuu!!!! …in all your nekkidness and stuff..
…looks like aiki was in the water … is it cold?
*squeeze aiki*
Yeah it was freezing… wait…
*looks down*
ah… hey Bearly, I might need some help here…
*peeks through bushes*
*giggles*
I see you Brewski… YOU DID THIS!!! I KNOW IT!!!
Well, Aiki, I can help you with the “it was cold” issue, but I’m not sure we can halt the effect at the desired stage. How’s about we just find you some pants?
*Dashes to Brewski’s car and grabs his spare pair*
*Presents pants to Aiki*
*Looks down and realizes that she still hasn’t clothed herself*
*Reaches down and grabs three shells to strategically place on body*
Get up, get on up!
Get up, get on up!
Get up, get on up!
And DANCE!
*dances barefoot*
You need life alert
*offers brain*
*decides it’s a waste of a perfectly good meal for ZA*
*offers brain to ZA*
dont u mean
i’ve failen and i cant get up
And that kids is why there’s no stage diving in Rap!
hopefully he wont
SO WEAK!
And another one bites the dust.
It looks stanged to me
Exit, stage down.
Now, see? That is the perfect remark!
How did that ‘n’ get there?
It was estranged.
But not n sync with the rest of his comment.
Wow, that work perfectly.
*admires fluffy’s wit*
Hee…! Fluffy, Jules is ogling your wit!!
As long as he is not ogling her chest.
Oh.. wit.. chest.. same same…
Your wit and chest are both strong points.
To wit, you have beautiful eyes Fluffy.
Earworms will be reciprocated. Fair warning.
Another one rides a bus.
♫ The wheels on the bus go round and round. . . ♫
I never thought of Queen songs as earworms.
Any tune can be an earworm if you can’t get it out of your head. Particularly when all you can remember is a small snippet of it. And endless loop of anything can be annoying.
Fair enough. What really bothers me is a song I don’t like getting stuck in my head. But, stuck is stuck.
♫ We are the wooorld!!
We are the children!! ♪
*GLOWERS in Brewskis general direction*
That. Was cruel.
Yow. That was the biggest “Glowers” I’ve seen in awhile.
Should get that checked out.
Yeowch!!!
Owie! Owie! Owie!
*hops up and down*
*notices eyebrows are singed*
And your pants have melted away to nothing.
Amd he was doing so good.
*Quietly replaces m with n*
It’s always better when we catch him by surprise!
Good? What, I’ve only lost my pants…
*counts on fingers*
twice today?
*pssst!!* Quaz, you also should have said “well”, not “good”!
Dragon will thank me, I hope.
My engrish isn’t so good during summers it seems…
*Hopes Dragon doesn’t call GhostBusters*
You’d end up with the Bill.
Looks like I’ll have to Ernie some money.
*snork*
I actually was going to say something, but Brewski got there before me! Thanks, bud…nice to know you’re looking out for me here.
♫ Don’t bring me down,no no no no no,
I’ll tell you once more before I get off the floor
Don’t bring me down. ♫
Hey, my theme song! I used to always think they sang “Don’t bring me down… Bruce!”
I used to think those were the words, too. When I looked up the real lyrics, I was disappointed, so I decided to stick with “Bruce” mentally.
Let’s see – lyrics we know are wrong but sing it that way anyway because we like it better that way …
…
Don’t bring me down …. Bruce!
…
In the garden of Eden, honey … don’t you know that I love you.
…
Big ol’ Jen has a light on … don’t carry me to far away!
Did Jen turn the light on so she could run outside without any pants on?
And also
Blinded by the light, set up like a douche, another ruler in the night…
♪ In the bathroom on the right ♫
(for those that don’t know it this way the song is actually There’s a bad moon on the rise)
I dig that old tune Aiki! I lived in a house for years that had the bathroom at the end of the hallway with the toilet on the right and the sink on the left.
My fave is from a Def Leppard song, “Breathe a Sigh”…
♪I mow the lawn for your affection.♫
I get this song in my head everytime I mow my lawn.
(real lyrics: I more than long for your affection)
♫ Rock the catbox. . . ♫
Exactly!
*high fives Bearly*
You mean….it isn’t Bruce?
*lower lip trembles*
I thought it was until just now…
I am going to stick with Bruce, if for no other reason but my pride.
*Nods* That is the better choice.
This is my absolute favorite.
MINE TOO! Sorry to yell, but I’m so excited! Thanks, DW!
Hehehehe… Make me fries!
As rare as that is: I really laughed out loud! “Make me fries”! Bwahahahaha!
*squeeze*
Ha!
Same for you, Bearly? *squeeze*
My ex-boyfriend first showed me that video over a year and a half ago, and I still crack up at that part every time. He was particularly fond of “potato wave,” but the fries thing always struck me as something an egotistical rock star might actually yell out mid-show. *Squeeze*
Happy to oblige!
*squeezes*
Oh, and I suppose your last name is “Key?”
Wouldn’t that be a knee-slapper
I just googled lyrics for that — more than 1/2 the sites said “Bruce.” The others said “Grooss,” which doesn’t make sense.
I’ll stick with “Bruce,” thank you kindly.
If you look up the meaning of Grooss, it has something to do with the band’s origins… I think it makes sense in another language. I looked it up a long time ago, but decided to stick with Bruce anyway.
For someone who has no source of broadcast TV, you sure seem to be stuck on the MJ songs today.
I’m just saying….
*Scuttles back to lurker mode*
*suddenly feels vaguely paranoid*
*looks around nervously*
In my defense/defence, you can’t avoid MJ even if you live in a cave.
Insulting the Geico caveman now, too.
Now THAT I haven’t heard of. I have seen pictures of a ghecko, however.
Here we see the ghecko, which is a member of the gecko family but lives in the ghetto section of town …
He’ll talk at you in a British accent AND shoot you up on the block!
Brewski, can I have your autograph?
*pushes WIK over*
I was here first!
NOOO! He LOVES ME! I saw it in a dream, we were meant for each other! Once he meets me I just know he will love me for ever and ever! I will MAKE him!
*bursts into uncontrollable sobs*
You’re a pathetic mess! He’ll never love you now!
Mwahahahahahaha!
*injects WIK with 10cc of Ativan*
Now just calm down there miss.
Ohhh. I see rainbows! pretty. ☼
*pulls up a chair and beer and watches*
*is glad he doesn’t have a fan club*
Eeep!!!
*hides*
*confesses to rofling at WIK’s post*
Bearly, I can’t read past abstract on your post. Is it just me?
Nah, it’s that dang (pre) stuff – text wrapping fail. I was saying that you have bizzare love polygons and that Abstract was apparently waiting for you while we were at the beach.
And the soap opera carries on…
Yes Aiki, but I don’t think I can read to the end either. All I see is …
.
“Apparently Abstract was looking for you whil”
.
*notes that copy/paste picks up the whole sentence, which reads “Apparently Abstract was looking for you while we were at the beach.”*
ZA, you get two letters more than me.
*pouts*
Hah! He only gets one more letter than I do!
What’s the matter, Arth
Are you not getting the
Personally, I can see al
My VISA number is 9011
My bank account: 1332-
(You can change the text size in the browser by using CONTROL – or CONTROL +.)
Thanks, Admiral!
*writes down Brewskis data*
*orders stuff*
I already can barely read that itty-bitty print. I don’t need to make it any smaller!
*also takes down Brewski’s info*
*applies for a dozen credit cards in Brewski’s name*
Wow AA! That is the best thing I have learned on here.
Thanks for the Pearl Jam video DW.
Come on, ladies! A shopping trip with DW!
I call shotgun!
*hops in front seat*
Never really thought I would use that.
I’ve been armed with knowledge.
Shotguns lap!
A fan eh Brewski…
Don’t be too paranoid… We are all watching.
That actually is rather creepy, though. As long as I lurked, you think I’d remember that there are many more where I came from, but I often forget that you guys aren’t the only ones watching!!!
Me too. Strange thought, even if I myself was a lurker before.
Hee…! I didn’t lurk that long before I just dived on in.
I lurked for about a month.
It’s kinda hard to imägine you two lurking…
♪ Here a lurk, there a lurk, everywhere a lurk lurk!
ICHC had a blog, E-I-E-I-Oh! ♪
*in her best Lurch voice*
You rang?
I thought the same thing about you, Arthur!
Hehehe. I even trained at other blogs…
I lurked, then posted like an idiot newbie. This is when the blog was all buggy, and I wondered why my posts kept “disappearing”. I didn’t know I had to “Show All”. Does anybody even remember when I joined? I don’t myself, really.
I did that too.
I must have been incredibly annoying on at least two occasions.
Me, too. And I had a different name before I got my icon. It was DLFiend4Ever.
*hangs head in shame*
I never lurk’ed. I just jumped into the deep end with both feet and quickly got abused by avis and dragon.
I do believe that was when we were still using tazers on trolls.
Clearly you grew on us.
Like a foot fungus.
I lurked, and then had a lame name and avatar before changing my name and pic.
*snork*
The tazers thing did get INCREDIBLY annoying. But once we realized that you were actually an intelligent person, things changed quickly!
Oh, I would say the verdict is still out on that.
*tazes Jules*
Just for old times sake!!
Don’t worry Jules… I jumped in the same way. I was glowered quite badly before my feet even hit. I don’t even remember what over at this point, but Dragon came to my rescue.
I was welcomed in by Dragon and Avis.
Panicked almost immediately over several posts I thought would be taken the wrong way. I still have issues.
*snork*
I remember that. You were SOOOOOOOO frantic!
I jumped right in as Ninja/Blogmonster. However, I posted here earlier for several months under different names.Aargh. I remember muh first day.
Accidentally offended EVERYONE and got whacked.
Yea, but you let me off easy Dragon.
My first post was July 13, 2008 at 10:13 F.B.T. It was about something called a Barfy Burger.
Since you all undoubtedly want to Know what it was I shall tell you. “Pedagogue”. And the legend was born.
*joins the hoard of watching fans*
*joins group*
What are we watching?
The fans. It is summer, you know.
Nice. Someone should hang streamers on them like they do in the stores.
*hangs tattered pieces of dirty cloth on front of fan*
Aw, jeez, couldn’t you have picked off the maggots first?
*looks down, shuffles feet*
sowwy.
He should hang out for the AC.
There are these things called radios, and you can even find music on *gasp* the internet!!
Naw, I thought the internet was only good for pron. Oh, and FailBlog, of course … which is nothing more than mental pron.
A stimulating thought.
♫ The internet is for porn ♫
♫ The internet is for porn ♫
♫ Grab your d!ck and double-click for porn, porn, porn! ♫
Same here. What is that, 6 years old?
Well, it’s from Avenue Q, which opened in 2003 … so yes, it’s six years old. It’s still a wicked-fun show though!
I don’t care for the comparison, even if it was made in jest.
At the risk of piling on our friend ZA, I agree. I find FB to be a great place to learn new things, make friends, and occasionally make others laugh. I don’t come here to take something away…I come here to contribute.
*looks confused*
*re-reads post*
*looks embarrassed*
.
Brain fart? Not enough troll “brains”, or maybe to much? Sorry folks, that just didn’t come out right. I meant it more like an indulgence, a pleasure you don’t just share with others (I do “in secret” at work).
.
*hopes that was enough to redeem himself*
No problem, ZA!
Most people at my work only look at the fails. They do not know of the treasure that is hidden in the comments.
pron?
He meant to do that.
… like a cat.
Gazelle like.
Wounded gazelle maybe.
At least a wounded gazelle retains some semblance of grace.
Dead gazelle with shackles on it.
Hey, I represent that!
…
Oh …
:monkey:
A shellacked gazelle?
Only if we can use to beat the trolls for the rest of the day.
*grins evily*
Sounds… perfect!
I don’t know, today seems rather troll-less
I’ve noticed that, actually. It seems that there seem to be fewer in the later fails, and fewer as the week goes on. I think they may be losing interest!
There are only a finite amount of trolls in the world and it appears that between my hoard attacks, other monster attacks, various thwackings, Jimbo throwing them into the sun and FB banning their IP’s, we’ve finally got an upper hand on them.
.
Or they’re sleeping in because it’s summer now and they were all up late last night playing WOW on mommy’s bigpeter.
.
*yes there is a story behind that one – once when my nephew was just a little tyke he wanted to play games on my computer so he walked up to me and boldly asked if he could play with my bigpeter. I almost fell over laughing!*
Trolls breed like tribbles. There will always be more.
Which is why we must remain ever vigilant.
And always shellack the dead wildlife so we have appropriate WHACKing tools.
Since there is no end to people and a (potentially) infinite amount of people then a finite number divided by an infinite number is as close to zero as to make no odds… therefore trolls don’t exist and any that you meet are a product of a deranged imagination.
Sometimes we need the non-shellacked versions. For added emphasis. Sort of adding insult to injury.
Shellack my monkey! :monkey:
Perhaps if we create a Troll Lookout Post like yesterdays win?
Unfortunately the smell can linger.
I could get used to that phrase… “Shellacking the monkey”…
It’s okay guys…
Since not all people can be trolls we know there is a finite amount of them. if there are a finite amount of trolls, and a (potentially) infinite amount of people, then a finite divided by an infinite is as close to zero as makes no odds, therefore there are no trolls. Any that you may meet are a product of a deranged imagination.
*points at open grave, where he keeps a veritable cornucopia of dead wildlife in various states of decay for use against trolls*
It does have a ring to it. ‘Shellack the monkey’
But it is no grill cheese
Jules, did you ever click my link to find out what I meant by grilled cheese sandwich? I posted it in yesterdays last fail somewhere. Near the bottom of the page I think.
Especially since you just know, in our language-butchering society, that it’ll get slurred down to “Schlack th’monkeeee!” in a matter of weeks.
Oh, I think he meant it the way your link meant it, Avis. And I’m sure most guys would agree – shellacking the monkey really is nothing like grilled cheese.
A GCS can be shared with friends, but a shellacked monkey is a solo adventure.
I have a friend that thinks solo adventures are the same as cheating. Not his solo adventures mind you, but his wife’s. His girlfriend disagrees with him on that score. Go figure.
♬ Cover me when I run
Cover me through the fire
Something knocked me out the trees
Now Im on my knees
Cover me, darling please
Monkey, monkey, monkey
Dont you know when youre going to shellac the monkey ♬
*dives for grave at mention of fire from the dragon*
*hides under covers*
Heehee!
You found me!
I love your varnishing act.
Don’t tempt fate. Please?
I’m not! It will all be okay! We have a shiny new shallacked gazelle.
…shiny?
It’s shellacked. I’m just assuming, here. Shellack tends to make things shiny. I think.
Hide it Chandi, some folks around these parts are attracted to shiny things.
*Closes in on Chan*
SHINY!!
*Snaps out of it*
*looks around*
uhh…
*Walks away, ashamed*
Don’t jinks us!
*sneaks up to Jules’ post*
*takes ks – puts in pocket*
*inserts x*
*sneaks out*
Well XOXO to you too!
…except for the one-shot, grade-school boy responses in the last Fail.
*Realizes huge mistake*
*takes it back*
*swan dives*
*ducks*
*gooses*
*lemming*
*base jumper*
*squirrel*
*penguin*
…
*or was that peng WIN?*
Puma-man
Just jumping for the crowd to catch him. I guess no one wanted him…
Do not want!
*catches Ms B instead*
*thanks Jules for rapping things up*
Yeah, but does he have experience raping? Where’s that application form…?
We best ask him if he’ll accept other forms of payment before he applies.
Down goes showman!
I never liked hip flop anyway.
He fell down with his bad self.
That’s the last time he played this dive.
I saw him last fall.
Had he a nice trip?
It wasn’t descent enough for him.
He was a one hit wonder anyway.
He’s been accused of lip sinking.
He went on a long trip after that.
The accusations had him floored.
He was dropped by his label.
Then he hit the drugs and sunk to a new low.
His pride went before his fall.
He kept stumbling through the verses.
Well, the show must go on (the floor).
Are you all down with him?
I like how you slipped that in, Arthur!
*hears large explosion*
*sigh*
We go through so many innuendo machines around here!
Success? It was a pun? WOOHOO!
*does the pun dance*
*falls off stage*
You’d think he’d know that they didn’t mean “break a leg” literally.
Have a nice (kinda)trip…
The speaker recognizes our guest from the music industry. You now have the floor.
There’s a Soviet Russia line in there somewhere.
In Soviet Russia, speaker floors you?
I’d say the guest from the music industry got floored! Thoroughly!
And he’s been hearing about it ever since.
Looked like he was trying to court the audience.
His motion was not sustained.
I’m concerned with the gravity of his fall.
It’s a clear case of LASER.
Liability Amplification by Simulated Emanation of Reception.
Woops! Punrun fail. Meant to say he nearly brought down the house.
Ah, Don’t worry about it. Blame the water supply. The OXYGEN supply.
Blame the last fail.
♬ Blame it on the rain ♬
Ah I was actually makin a reference to his clicky. But those work, too.
in Soviet Russia, the floor has you
hehe, you floored me.
Ya! … and it was the singer not the Admiral who was on deck!
You almost made me choke on my burger! Well done!
Jump jump…
*runs to the store to buy mouse traps*
Headbanger
Rhythm and bruise.
Break dancing.
Baroque
Drop and roll.
Rock and fall.
Should have stuck with a simple two-step.
Or the Safety Dance?
Foxtrip?
Bango?
Time Warp!
… Mythbusters?
The Running Man.
Falling Down.
*Sigh*
I only looked at the last two comments and leaped to the conclusion it was a movie based thread.
*Picks self off floor, climbs back on stage*
*Does the Harlem Shuffle*
*squeeze*
I thought it worked, considering this is the dance I tend to do regularly!
*boogies out*
*Squeeze*
*Gators next to Ms B*
The quitstep
Just getting low, low, low, low, low, low, low!
In 50 years this will be elevator music. Not yet.
I’m pretty sure I heard a Muzak version of “I Kissed a Girl” last week end.
Is that the song that starts with the lyrics,
“This was never the way I planned, not my intention”.
How appropriate, then, to have it musically mangled.
Katy Perry’s song. Or however you spell her name. Muzak did not improve it.
Yeah, that’s the one. So, the lyrics do fit the remake. Similar to the time I heard a Musak version of Melanie’s 60’s hit, “Look What They’ve Done to My Song, Ma”. Ah, the irony. (If irony is the right word – I’ve never been sure since Alanis Morrisette’s song.)
There were no words in this version. Immediately after that song they started playing a Muzak version of “Thriller”. I think a part of me died a little.
… but did the little part that died get up and start to dance?
*Snicker*
♫
Bang your head against the stage
Like you never did before
Make it ring Make it bleed
Make it really sore
In a frenzied madness
with your leather and your spikes
Heads are bobbing all around
It’s hot as Hell tonight
.
Adrenaline starts to flow
You’re thrashing all around
Acting like a maniac
Whiplash
♫
Those were different days for metallica, indeed.
♪ Shoot me again I ain’t dead yet. ♫
This song has been vastly improved by AMV From Hell IMHO
♫ Whomp him low and whomp him high,
Stick your finger in his eye.
Pretty little rhythm, pretty little sound,
Bang your heads against the ground. ♫
♪ Step right up you’re doing fine
I’ll pull your beard, you pull mine.
Yank it again like ya did before
Break it up with a tug-of-war. ♫
(That’s from my favorite Bugs Bunny cartoon.
)
(I was going to guess ZZ Top.)
CLASSIC!!! Thanks for that gem!!
*hugs lurk*
Oh, sorry !
*hugs for Judson!*
*hugs Judson, too*
*hugs Brewski just because she can*
Oo!
*pops Bugs Bunny cartoons dvd into machine*
What a great way to spend the day!
*plops down on couch next to DW*
How about the Halloween tunes, like Count Bloodcount?
“Abracadabra!!”
“Hocus Pocus!!”
“Walla Walla Washington!”
“Abracapocus!”
I once invented Roadrunner-drinking with a friend. When Coyote fails, drink a shooter. If he falls of a cliff, drink a double. I was unconcious after about half an hour.
“Meep-meep!”
*drinks*
*reaches into portable hole, pulls out a bottle*
Would you call that a portable potable?
Don’t know what it’s called, but I bet it’s made by the ACME Distillery!
Sometimes it’s a pothole.
*meep-meep-passes*
Other times it’s a railroad tunnel.
*sticks out tongue, flaps feet and ZINGS! away*
Beep-beep Zip-Bang!
Careful, the floor is further away than it looks!
Not anymore.
*snork*
Good point.
Whatever happened to McFail?
failblog.org/2009/06/01/presenter-fail/#comment-446415
He’s like Duroc only more hardcore Disappear-y
Wasn’t McFail a McWoman?
Correct. Haven’t seen her in a while.
And, where’s Velvet?!?!
sorry, I was hungy….. i man, IDK where Velvet is..not like I ate her or anything like that.
*i mean, not i man
It’s okay you can blame society for gender confusion. You can be what ever you want honey!
I was going to make a remark about her eating velvet, but I decided against it!
she was yummy! shhhhh
Guys, Velvet is on vacay at the beach with her daughter. Sheesh, she’s not food!
Not for most of you, anyway.
*sigh*
Do we really need to have this conversation AGAIN?!
FAILBLOG FRIENDS ARE NOT FOOD!!!
Hey, ZA has been really good lately. He is even cleaning up his mess.
there you are. I’ve been waiting for you
Abstract? Temporary zombie, what happened?
.
*angrily summons hoard*
*prepares to release pent up anger against guilty party*
Looking for me Abstract?
It’s ok, it’s only temporary ZA, I wanted to be awsome like you. *RIGL*
sorry Aiki, I need to address these posts, I was looking for ZA to show him my zombieness
*giggles*
That’s what you think.
* reminisces about the S&M chamber*
Wait, are you contesting the part about her being at the beach, or the part about her being food?
About the food part. I’ve been so focused on you that I haven’t noticed if anyone else was at the beach.
I guess we should have looked up a long time ago. ^^
“Food” isn’t the meaning I had in mind, astract knows what I’m talking about.
Anyways, I forgot it was a full week. Hope she is getting some good weather. (e.g., hope she didn’t come here)
I think our minds occupy the same gutter, as I never thought Abstract was referring to the consumption of Velvet.
Oh, I know what you had in mind. Dirty, dirty Brewski!
Ah, I know that gutter well.
nope, I wasn’t but it’s ok, I’ll go with it. *noms Brewski on the arm*
I must be in that same gutter, because I got the same meaning as Starfish & Brewski.
*gutter squeezes everybody
*tosses another “*” up to her post*
Abstract, being temporary and new and all, I feel I should inform you that as a zombie, you just had sex with Brewski.
.
Brewski, welcome to the hoard.
?!
*blinks*
Brewski’s a zombie?
*grins*
I call dibs on his butt if it falls off!
oooh, cause I nom’d his arm? cool!
I think Bearly has a phenomenal brain.
Thanks, Jenny! And I think you have a sparkling personality!
Ah I don’t know. that was before I got here I believe.
hmm, I can’t see the vid. Damn! Is this the one where he walks off the stage or the one where the ting hit him in the head?
‘h’ walks off the stage.
Hip-hop singer trips over a stage monitor (speaker) and fall into the audience.
*squeeze*
oh, that one, lol! that was funny. *squeeze*
This is the one where he falls backwards off the stage.
Ok, not so much backwards, I think the walking backwards part at the beginning is what caused his fail in the first place though.
ok, thanks, I remember it now.
Hmm. If only something shiny distracted him before he hit. Then he’d just fly back on to the stage and this would be a WIN.
+1 for the Hitchhikers reference!
Whoo!
My life is becoming a Hitchhikers reference…
Must be a Tuesday… I could never get the hang of Tuesdays.
Looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays!!
Oh, sorry, wrong reference. I’ll leave now.
Again. Must be the water.
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
moderation? MODERATION?? AGAIN????
.
*savagely rips moderators throat out*
*feasts on moderator brains, eating up from the neck*
*grabs mop, cleans up mess*
*tries again, fixing the offending ‘i’ word*
*reminds people how silly this is getting*
…
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged !magination.
Dammit! I tried to post that twice, with it modified to trolls, before I realized that I had used the I word in it! Now you beat me to it!
*Feasts on brains as well*
Oops… that should have nested under ZA’s post…
*Notices that the brains he was feasting on where his*
hi. teach me your zombie ways. *RIGL*
*Backs away veeeeeeery slowly*
*has an idea!*
*uses sick imagination to restart Cold War*
hi. teach me your zombie ways. *RIGL*
*crosses fingers and chants, “post in the right place, post in the right place….”
Testing… it appears someone replied to their own ‘awaiting moderation’ post, which throws everything in the reply cr@pper.
♫ This happened once before,
When I came to your door, …
@MRN
Yes all hell broke loose that day. Hold me I’m afraid!!!
*has been in the reply cr@pper*
*did not enjoy it*
It appears we found our twelfth step. Never, ever reply to your own comment if it is awaiting moderation! For steps one through eleven, see yesterdays final fail.
@MRN – Could have been me. But I don’t even see a post saying awaiting moderation, so I don’t know how I could have…
Oh NO!!!! Did I kill FailBlog???
…And we’re nested! Yay!
*coyly confesses it was him who violated the 12th*
*Walks up to Abstract in slow, dramatic fashion dressed as a Doctor*
I’m sorry but your comment didn’t make it.
*sheds a tear*
*gets all assertive and stuff*
.
You best tell me who did this to you. You weren’t supposed to suffer my fate yet.
.
That said, welcome. MJ’s still teaching dance moves if you’re interested.
:monkey:
WOOOOOOO! sign me up. I love Thriller!! *does zombie dance move*
oh, ZA, I did it to myself. I snuck in while you were sleeping and put my finger in your mouth. you relex bit me, it’s cool though, I have the antidote syrum.
*pauses*
*stares at his victim a while*
*looks confused*
*calls off hoard*
.
Well, I hope it was better for you than it was for me.
lol, tons of fun! what happens if zombies nom other zombies?
Nothing really – the nom’d zombie loses a little more flesh is all. Lose enough and you become a skeleton.
Oh – and we don’t sleep.
Dammit. Moderated as well. Repost:
*Backs away veeeeeeery slowly*
*has an idea!*
*uses sick !magination to restart Cold War*
After seeing the slow motion, buba® concluded to extra-terrestrial technology attracting the man into the pit, probably for cooking him, or maybe they use human slaves.
buba® advise you to be careful and regularly watch around you, because they are everywhere, among us…
Trip’ty Trip!
Mosh pit — You’re doing it wrong!
Stage dive fail!
Mash pot (ato) – You’re hanging it wrong!
It’s a darn good thing there wasn’t a potato down there! That could have turned it into a whole new kind of show!
Hi Chani
Did you misspell ‘hole’?
Hi DrB
Evidently I did. *Looks down in shame* How could I have made such an error?!?
Hehe. Well, I’m sure the show will get a great rap! (it’s not curtains for it, I mean).
*squeeze*
I’ll live vicariously through you.
The stuff that dreams are made of
He does the Superman pretty well…
It was Friday, and he mistook the audience for the Cuddle Puddle.
There was a cuddle puddle today. I missed it.
What!?
I did too…
Me three.
:crying:
*squeeze* Well here is a taste.
Oh thanks for the tip yesterday! I am definitely looking into investing in one.
*Squeezes Jules, Qwaz, and Chan*
It’s ok, guys. We’ll have one tomorrow, too. This one was a little dangerous anyway, and some of the guys were wearing hazmat suits, so we can do better.
Oh, good.
I got to work, and was just so upset that I missed it!
*Squeezes Bearly* *Cuddles a little, just to appease the snugglies in her heart* Thanks.
Bealry, it was dangerous to be in the cuddle puddle with guys oogling at the boobs lady.
It’s true. We couldn’t ahh….Focus.
I had to think long and hard, just now, before my sleepy brain would figure out what you might be talking about. If I’m right, then no problem, and enjoy!!
If I’m wrong, still… Enjoy. 
Wow I know how to make people on FailBlog cry:
Hey, you guys missed a great Cuddle Puddle just a minute ago. Where were you?
*Begins sobbing uncontrollably*
That was just cruel.
*Continues Sob-Fest*
*cries*
Maybe… *sniffle* Maybe we can take part tomorrow. Friday is always cuddle puddle day.
Geez, what is Jenny’s problem?
What’s that?
Oh, I heard her say she’s sorry – it came out meaner than she intended.
That’s a pretty hard core crowd.
The past… 5 posts were nesting fails!
Is this a Skid Row cover band?
Look ma ,no hands or feet or balance!
Well, I’m off anyway, for 5 straight nights of closing at the restaurant, so see you all next Tuesday, unless I’m awake enough at 4 am EDT to talk to the mostly-Europeans for the early Fail. TTFN!
C U Next Tuesday? MRN, did you just call us what I think you just called us!?!?!
*Squeeze*
I will have to play it safe and punt on this thread.
Was this an intentional stunt?
Bearly! No! Maybe that’s why I (subconsciously) put in the ‘you all’ even tho’ I’m not from the South! You found an opening I never intended!
Anyway, I really am going now. To the guys: Carry on, comic kings!
I don’t get it. Is MRN offering
Tiny
Titty
Fluffs
Now
’cause of the scheduled absence?
Trolls Troll For Nowt
It seems I must follow suit. Except for the next tuesday thing. Later, Failers!
I look forward to talking to you. I am European from 1 am to 10 am.
So, what are you from 11:00 a.m. to midnight????
*psst!*
He’s Aja.
*Totally thinks he’s clever, walks off to the nearest comedy joint for stand up night.*
*sits down*
*squeeze!*
I never thought the fall of Hip Hop would happen so soon. I’m sad.
has no one clocked this is dizzee rascal yet.
hes bonkers he is
I know I’m just asking for it, but have you noticed that no one has cried “F@KE” or “PH0t0SH0PPED” yet? Do we finally have a fail that everyone agrees is a fail?
*Ducks to avoid being hit with shellacked wildlife*
PH0t0SH0PPED!!!!11!! P!XELS!!!!!1!
*runs*
*Glances down at clipboard*
*Ticks off item*
Jules called it “staged”. Well, almost.
I call it *SQUEEEEEEEEZE!!!!*
*SQUEEEEEEZE*
*pops a breath mint*
*Ker-SMOOOOOOCH-ah!!*
*squeeze*
Glad to be of assistance.
Ooh, pictures for sale? Let me see!!
HEY! Wait a minute!! Where are my royalties?!
Royalties? Is that what you call them? They weren’t showing when these pictures were taken.
:angel:
Lol, Dizzee Rascal mate…
Can’t believe it took so long for this to hit Failblog.
wasn’t this posted before on Failblog.org?
Did he die……..in the hands of Zomboman.
*in his best Bart Simpson voice*
I didn’t do it! No one saw me do it! You can’t prove anything!!
It’s the “I didn’t do it” kid!
Right now my neighbors are listening to earworm music. It’s loud and every song gets stuck in my head, fighting against the others. Anyone who wants to share my pain?
Livin’ la vida loca…
Super Trooper…
Tell it to my heart, tell me I’m the only one…
Je t’aime blaa blablabla…
Just for clarification: Murder is illegal, or isn’t it?
Alright, that’s it. POISON! EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN!!!!
*off to slaughter neighbors*
*has a solution for this at home*
*a stereo more powerful than any other in the neighborhood*
hehehe… I occasionally miss my Marshall stacks…
*snork*
Um…I mean, that’s AWFUL! Just terrible. Definitely justifiable homicide.
Hee hee. The dangers of living in multi-dwelling housing. I think my favored response would be to blast something like Ministry at full volume.
Usually they’re ok, just not today. A guy one floor up is worse. 20something, turkish, bodybuilder, full of testosteron and he has asshöles as friends. They show up at least four days a week, honk outside (again and again) instead of giving him a call, turn up the music REALLY loud and then have a shout-conversation with him. Then they all leave to the sound of burned rubber. Did I mention it’s usually around 1 at night?
Did someone call for a ice-cream truck?
*jumps up and down*
Ice cream! Ice cream!
*is reminded of Eddie Murphy’s “Delirious”*
You scream, we scream, we all scream for ice-cream
*heard that July is national ice cream month*
I see your “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” and raise you a “PANAMA” !!
I’ll see your “Thorn” and “Panama”, and raise you a “You Give Love a Bad Name”!
I’ll see your “You Give Love a Bad Name” and raise you a “View to a kill”
I’ll see ALLLLL of your tunes and raise you one “MAS TEQUILA!!!”!
For some reason I’ve got the song “The Heat is On” running the loop in my mind. Can’t figure out why.
Lol i got number of the beast riding around my mind.
Iron Maiden?
Hell yes.
I love metal,rock,trance all that stuff.
17 AND BRITISH FTw!
Metal, rock…and trance?
I’ve got very similar taste in music. If you add in classical and new lounge (sorta trancey on it’s own).
Lol hell yer.
Man, I love all kinds of music except rap and R&B, (unless you count the “old-skool” stuff).
and classical music isn’t really that brillian, I do Music-A level so i’ve been force-fed the classical/baroque stuff.
I do almost anything. I’m a music nut. I grew up on heavy metal, but now… blues, jazz, classical, new age, zydeco, reggae, industrial, techno/rave, trance, Spanish guitar/flamenco, swing, rockabilly, alternative, funk, African, Celtic/Irish folk music, South American (eg Peruvian), some hip-hop, etc etc. I even have some Native American flute music.
I’ve never really developed an appreciation for country/western and opera, however. And teeny-pop (Britney Spears and the like). Gangsta rap doesn’t do much for me either.
OMG I’m trying to learn spanish-guitar/flamenco.
Its just the unfurling of the fingers that keeps getting me.
and those damn phrygian scales.
i am a blues man a way back learned how to play the harmonica blues style. Now I listen to drumming music.
*squeezes Brewski*
We’re similar in liking a wide selection of genres. I love folk music (broad definition, I like to think of jazz as folk music) of all kinds. I get metal, but never really took to it, with a few exceptions. Opera took the longest for me to appreciate. Some of the music is just too compelling, though…let that guide you.
*thinks she would like to see Brewski’s… CD collection*
*squeeze back*
*shows lurk his…favorite CD*
I have the utmost appreciation for opera as an art form, but as I said, just never developed an appreciation. I suspect I would more easily if I heard it performed live. And had a translation available, if in Italian or other language. But I have so many other musical interests I guess I never made the effort.
As for country, I like stuff like Johnny Cash. But pop-country like “Achey Breaky Heart”… ack!!!
Quick Question. What the heck is trance?
*is impressed by Brewski’s …favorite CD*
I totally agree about the country music, especially the crying-in-your-beer kind. Which is kind of scary, since I live in Nebraska. I haven’t heard much opera, so I have no opinion on it. Except for country, I try to keep an open mind as far as music goes. Have you ever listened to Kitaro?
I’ve had this stupid song in my head since dinner last night (thanks Reba):
♪ That’s the night that the lights went out in my ’gina. That’s the night that I birthed an innocent man. I don’t need no backporch camera to tell me that I’m pantless, and the dog left mud stains on my train. ♪
*would sing more classical music like Beethoven’s 9th or Tchaicovsky’s 1812 Overture, but doesn’t remember the words*
Alle Zombies werden Brüder…
Which one? Glenn Frey or Agneta Fältskog?
*snork*
The “Careless Whisper” remake always makes my eye twitch.
On a side note, the radio here at work just played “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.”
I just heard it on the radio too! I must admit I cranked it up.
Oh, my MP3 player just played it too!
Weird.
Is it a conspiracy?!?!
*looks around frantically for rainbows coming out of the ground*
*eyes rainbow emerging from corner of desk*
*smacks rainbow with flyswatter*
Eh. I hate those things…
Well, you know. You’ll just be sitting there, minding your own business, and they’ll come marching in, and crawl up your leg, and start biting the inside of your ass, and you’ll be all like, “Hey. Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows.”
Oops! I forgot about that clickie. It’s gone now. You can relax.
Very strange clickie it was.
They didn’t play that song 20 years ago. Oh, wait…
Yes, and I hated it then, too. Then some stupid band had to go and do a remake of it, and the radio plays it all the damn time again.
*eye twitch*
Be glad they don’t play that Mexican mariachi garbage. That causes earworms you can’t dig out with an ice pick.
.
Oh, and murder is only illegal if you get caught.
Before la vida loca they played all that Buena Vista Social Club stuff. Not too bad, unless you worked in a beach club where that was played every day. Which I did.
*noms Arthur on the leg*
Oh my …
… what have I done?
.
Abstract, sweetie, you don’t want the living banding together against us. Especially around here, where there be dragons that breathe fire. We don’t like fire much, ashes can’t do anything.
.
*hopes she either has enough antidote for all her victims, or that her victims don’t mind being undead*
I have lots of antidote syrum, you can have some too if you want. I’ll start a signup sheet for a free clinic now.
Mexican music joke clickie not really work safe
– f*bombs and humping motion 
*sniff*
*whispers to self* But I LOVED my mariachi…and I miss his music…
is he died?
F-
see me after class
Mr. Joe’s English Teacher, I don’t understand, I’ve tried everything:
Whacking him with fish, gazelle, nothing works!
I need assistance from a zombie horde or SOMETHING!
Perhaps you should try whacking with non-shellacked dead wildlife… The shiny might be distracting from the lesson.
I shall try it. Do you suggest rot to be involved?
Yes. Slimy and half rotted work very well in my experience. Who knows, maybe it will have the same affect on him that it did on you!
I was told in grade 7 English that “affect” and “effect” were essentially the same word. I disagree.
*thwacks gigeoxy’s 7th grade English teacher with a rotten mackerel*
I’m hoping it wasn’t gigeoxy’s English teacher who said it.
You’re right. I used the wrong one. Do we still have a bukkit around here?
So how do you determine thee word from the a word? I usually just avoid it out of fear.
One can Affect an accent. As in use a fake one.
A sexy accent can have a remarkable Effect on a person.
I should have known better.
There’s my favorite bird.
How’re the antibiotics Affecting your overall healthiness?
So affect causes a result. Effect is the result.
The effect of my smoking will affect my family forever.
*thinks I will still avoid the word(s)*
So far they’re doing what they are supposed to. And none of the nasty crap. So far. Tomorrow is the last day I have to take the things. 8 pm tomorrow to be exact.
*hands Joe’s father some reading glasses*
The English teacher is a ligh.
*thinks it would have been funny if ZA wrote Englich teacher*
*accepts glasses*
Thank you, kind sir. These are quite snazzy.
I didn’t see that until you pointed it out – and now it’s driving me crazy.
Do we have a smiley for that?
:crazy:
Don’t anguigh over it.
*still laughing over “Englich”*
Oooh, a fellow lichrature fan!
*smooch!*
*is once again ready for some lichery!*
Yummm. You look absolutely deliches in that outfit.
*wakes slightly*
*reads last few comments*
Ya know, sometimes I don’t understand what you two are talking about, but you’re still awfully cute!
*lays back down, falls back asleep with smile on face*
Well, at least we’re not cliché.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that before Dragon.
Same old song and dance, my friend.
Dragon and I have a close, mutually beneficial relationship…we lichen it that way.
Sounds fungus Admiral. Enjoy!
Wow! I leave for a couple of hours and our FBers are sillier than ever. Sad to miss all the action.
Back to my relaxing Swedish massage (more urgent work IRL *sigh*). Patrica is getting a mud bath.
*pops in and pops out quickly*
POOF!!!
*embarrassed that she was talking to herself*
TeeHee!!!
*noms Leila on the hand*
…Does this mean…?
OH NO!
Hasn’t anyone fed abstract today? Sheesh!!!!
Sorry! I thought it was Aiki’s turn!
ACK!
MS B!!!!!! abstract nom’d my hand.
*types note with toes*
You’re gonna want to be careful with that. Abstract got zombie’d, and is now proceeding to ‘nom’ all the Failbloggers.
only a little, it will be ok. *noms Chanidividus on the toe*
*Sigh*
I knew it was going to come down to self-amputation some day.
*Hacks off bitten toe before zombieism spreads*
*Feels faint*
Yow. Chan, Need a Band-Aid? Ice Pack?
Tourniquet, maybe? And would you mind tossing this butcher knife in the sink while you’re up? I hate leaving dishes lying around.
*Bats eyelashes, smiles sweetly* Please?
*Cannot resist…Is somehow…Compelled*
Sure!
Let me get that for you!
*hands Chan a ShamWow, just in case*
silly I have syrum for this. the free clinic is open.
Hrm. Perhaps I was hasty in hacking off my toe… It’s too late now though! What’s done is done.
*Sways a little, as eyes glaze over*
Now about that tourniquet?
*Hands tourniquet to Chan.*
Thank god for anti-Hemmorhage Technology!
*Also puts on some Marilyn Manson*
Here, Chan, maybe some TV will help you relax.
*turns on TV*
Oh look! It’s “Saw”!
Most excellent. Manson and Saw. You guys really know how to take care of a lady.
*Squeeze!*
Thank you! Feeling much better now. Hmm… Now where’d that toe go??
Reattach it before taking the syrum. Trust me on this. All will be OK.
*puts syrum on pancakes*
*drops fruit in syrum*
*breaks down door*
*rushes in*
*grabs serum, guzzles it down*
AAAAAHHH!!!!
Drat! Now I can’t have your butt when it falls off!
*pouts*
lol
That is a rather normal reaction from the living. They typically don’t like us much because of fear of the unknown issues.
I need to lose a little weight – can you nom selectively?
/w redman and method man
*test*
mrs_Z!! Is that you?? Nice new threads!
It looks like she’s doing some late spring cleaning.
This is me! About time, huh?
Okay. how do I change my name back? Help? Please?
Just change it in the “add comment” area when you make your next post.
Okay. Maybe I have this fingered out. My comment box did not have the name/e-mail/website boxes above it anymore. It did have a link at the top right corner saying I was logged in as “jmbbrz,” which I only did because Gravatar would not allow “mrs_z.” So I clicked “log out,” amd now the name/e-mail/website boxes are back. And it does say “mrs_z.”
Zat’s done it.
Ack! Time to go to work!! {{{DW & AA}}}
Everybody Wang Chung tonight! Cheers!
*wangs chung*
*sips*
how many “people falling off the stage” badly shot videos do we need?
Six more. Whaddaya say?
I say ten!
It can be done!
9, 4, no 9!
Ron Howard!
FOURTY TWO!!!
…Fourty?
fourty two = bifourked?
That was fourking funny!!
Four real!
Fourgetaboutit!
hello is any one here hello!!
Your comment is awaiting moderation. Of course it is, I lost my head and used the dreaded “i” word!
Reply, take two:
Nope! We’re all figments of your !magination!
*grins*
What the heck is the “i” word?
/whisper !mage /whisper
Do your pictures include any… um… of a graphic nature per se of Bearly and I?
Would you like to buy some to find out?
*wiggles eyebrows at Aiki*
Please tell me you’re a private enterprise, Lurk!
Sorry to tell you this, Bearly, but I saw them up on eBay a little bit ago….but, on the up-side, the bidding was fairly high!
*Winces*
Were they at least artistic? Dare I even ask?
Erm…sure, artistic, that’s it. They were very
decidedly eroticartistic.goodnight everyone, anti-zombie syrum free clinic (AZSFC) will re-open at 1:00 am 07/10/09
no, no no! 11:00am
*testtest*
Woohoo!
*mops sweat from brow* I have arrived! Who knows–I may actually learn some emoticon codes next.
Are you two a figment of my ! m a g i n a t i o n.
I have a comment in moderation now “i” word :}
“i” warned you.
Happens to me all the time. Remember the 12th rule – don’t reply to your comment when it’s in moderation. It messes things up pretty bad, dogs and cats living together, total chaos.
Don’t bother. The new emoticons suck.
:nods:
*head falls off*
*bends over, picks it back up*
*puts it back on neck where it belongs*
*dons gloves*
*applies a few strategically-placed strips of duckee tape to help keep ZA’s head where it belongs*
*can’t get gloves unstuck from tape*
*slides hands out of gloves*
No charge for the tape … or the gloves!
This happened at my uni! so funny [university of kent- its on youtube too!]
Is that Dizzee Rascal?
masterbation?
♫ And now it’s time to say goobye to Jed and all his kin
They all would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
You’re all invited back next week to this locality
To have a heapin’ helpin’ of their hospitality.
Hillbilly, that is.
Set a spell.
Take your shoes off.
Y’all come back now, ya hear?♪
Now it’s time to say goodbye, to all our company,
M-I-C, See you real soon!
K-E-Y, Why? Because we like you!
M – O – U – S – E
I want new sinuses.
*whimper*
sin 1 ≅ .84
sin 2 ≅ .91
That better?
Well – only in radians. My calculator defaulted to degrees and got me very confused there for a moment.
Thinking when my head hurts: do not want.
Thanks for the effort, though!
*squeeze*
I’m sowwy.
*squeeze*
Thanks, Dragon!
Perhaps you could very gently warm a damp washcloth for me to drape over my face?
*harnesses the power of the dragon for exceedingly good purposes*
*takes damp washcloth*
*breathes very gently on it*
*places steaming cloth on nightshayde’s face*
Dragon-warmth lasts for hours…enjoy!
Aaaaaaaah.
Has anyone told you you’re the best dragon EVER?!
Well – anyone other than Admiral?
Heh, I’ve used the word “best” many times when describing DW, but I don’t know that I’ve ever told her she’s the best dragon.
I’ll say it now, she’s the best dragon, EVAR!
Aww….*blushity-blush*
*ducks*
Sowwy. For an instant, I thought that was a fiery sneeze building.
At least I’m offending one fewer of your senses?
…
^^^agrees with fellow FBers that the new smileys are disturbing and wrong^^^
*giggle*
I don’t think you’ve offended me yet, ZA. I find your humor darkly disturbingly delightful.
Yeah — the new emoticons pale in comparison to the old ones.
I never thought I’d feel affectionate toward a zombie, but I find you delightful, too, ZA.
*Squeezes Nightshayde for her sinuses*
*Gently squeezes ZA before running off to take a quick shower*
*Comes back from shower and smiles at ZA*
*wonders if zombies can blush*
Probably not. Takes away from their scawwiness.
Dizzee Rascal fail.
Trying to watch this kills my browser.
Makes no difference if I use Firefox or IE
I try to look at the video and it crashes either browser
You pc is trash
Ahh… The 7:00 “Hour of Near-Nothingness”
It’s actually quite beautiful in its own way.
Not nearly as fun as the mid day hours, though.
It’s very peaceful and relaxing, though, isn’t it?
That it is. None of the “Crap, I have three diffferent conversations going on at once.” feeling here. Well, it can happen, but in a more laid back mode.
Nope, just two for you right now! *Squeeze*
Hooray!
*squeeze*
So. Fail ESP time. What is tommorrows fail gonna be like?
I’m in the I am not allowed to lie down for a half hour and will likely be awake for another 6 hours. When I get to take another pill. Joy.
I would, as my father says for reasons unknown, “Kill some brothas.”
I’m more likely to take out my ire on trolls (on-line) and trixies (IRL).
Trixies? Sounds deadly.
Trixies are 21-26ish girls who dress like whores, and actively seek out douchebags. The thing that is annoying about them is that the good guys sometimes get sucked into their schemes. Oh, they also actively seek out older rich men. Waaaaaaaay older.
Hey, I’ve seen those! We usually just call them what they are – whores!
That reminds me of a Springer episode I saw a few years back.
Two trashy (duh – it was Springer) women are yelling at each other. One “stole” the other’s prize (term used VERY loosely) of a man, and the other was not happy about it.
These words came from her mouth (with mandatory thick southern accent):
“You’re a whore! *H*O*R*E* whore!”
Then steps in Springer to save the day by tossing in a W. Much like what we do here only with less objectionable (…maybe?) Scenarios.
I will never understand why the women in these shows get mad at each other instead of the common denominator. The one who is doing the cheating!
Yet another mystery of society.
We used to call them “Holly Madison”.
There’s an area near me (we call it Viagra Triangle- for a very good reason) that is just infected with them!
*squeeze* I hope you get to sleep as soon as you’re allowed to, Avis! I also hope you feel better.
I’m going to go “enjoy” my headache at home rather than at work. Headaches are always more bearable with a large floofee cat curled up in one’s lap.
Sleep is some time off for now. I screwed up the dosing schedule, I have to wake up at 4 my time to take a pill. I may just stay up and early morning fail. Provided I get to sleep at midnight.
Would be better if your floofee cat did this.
(Clicky)
A joy pill would be nice. But can the manufacture happiness? Someone needs to look into this.
He he. Sorry you get lonely – the nightshift can be rough. We should start revisiting the earlier fails because the last fail of the day is usually stale by the time the nightshift starts.
I disappear to the swimming pool at this time of night because the pool brats are worn out and go home, normal people are eating dinner, and the partiers (like ZA) don’t come out till dark.
Just how early do you suggest?
Maybe one evening will we pick a fail and go play there for awhile. See what happens. Hide from the trolls
Hmm…
T
Whats this post i didn’t… post? ^
T?
Darn you wordpress!
Hmm…
*goes off to find a good fail without too many pre- uncool posts*
Back! Found it but I suggest we use it some other day whe it’s not so… late.
*wishesI had a swimming pool to disappear to this time of night*
*sighs*
Someday….
I live in an apartment building – it is a nice one, but still suffers from regular apartment-ish issues, like pool trolls
We want to rent a house but I don’t want to give up the pool.
*wishes her building had a pool*
Can’t wait till tomorrow when the digging begins.
*don’t know what happened to my other post*
Are the pills helping, Avis?
She answered up there. ^^ She’s almost done with them!
I see that now, thanks, Bearly.
*wishes uninfectedness to Avis*
If you clickie my name you’ll get a more complete story. In the comments too!
“Chris said…”???? How’s he doing? Stateside yet?
And I add to my wish “happy follicles”!!!
Not the same Chris. And, Thank You!!!
The Christopher you are thinking of was stateside the entire time. I had my data mixed up before. If you click on the Chris who posts on my blog it shows where he’s from. He’s not from here.
His rendition of Seal’s I believe I can fly.
I can’t troll this video with “did he die”
It’s just not the same without people being mad about it one YouTube 
I actually must applaud you, for being an intentional troll.
Everyone’s gotta have a hobby, right?
nice. way to fall.
Well. That’s it for me today, FailBloggers.
One last cat yawn before I leave, though.
Hope to see you all in the morning!
Goodnight!I hate that I always leave when you get here.
It kills me inside that I don’t get to speak with the Blogmonster himself.
I found that strange too. Wait till fall; then I'll be on during the day more.Which is very ironic cuz that’s when school starts and I’m on less.
That's why I'm on more.
I always hit up the computer lab to kill time between classes.Well I’m off to attempt sleep. Have fun y’all. I may be back for the first fail of the day (likely not) but we’ll see.
Sssssssllllllleeeeeeeeeep, it calls to me.
Sleep well Avis for as long and quickly as you can.
This joint has gone very quiet. I think everyone else has gone to bed as well. May as well join them, so to speak.
*tucks coyote in*
*turns the light off*
*sings lullabye*
*tucks teddy bear under covers*
*whispers* He’s asleep.
*takes hand, leads from room*
*pulls teddy bear back out*
*jacks off, then calls it a bitch*
I thought Jack was working today, who gave him the day off?
Yesterday I helped my uncle Jack off a horse.
that kids, is what drugs do!
Did He Dizzee?
That happens to you when you listen to much hip hop
I WAS THERE!!! i saw that mofo fall!
God, I hate all the stupid comments that have no relevance to the post! :@ ahhh
Let’s make a one too.
” NO U”
Less drugs and alcohol more glasses
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
haha dizzee you better fix up, loook sharp boi, your just plain too bonkers!
LOL dumb rappers… they fail instantly
Well, at least we know he wasn’t lip-synching….
I’m laughing my ass off… DAMN FOOL!
hip-hop is just meant to fail
Just to let you know that it is Dizzie Rascal falling off the stage at The University of Kent Summer Party
I was actually there and it was hilarious
Is that Flo-Rida?! Bahahaha!
I’m sure it’s dizzee rascal!
Yo. He be tripping dawg
was that dizzee rascle
you must be a famous rapper!
he faked it
Rappers always think they are so awesome and are douchebags, that just made my day.
lol its real thats dizzee rascal performing at kent university, i was there on the night… he actually got back up, laughed it off and did a good set
You can’t spell crap without rap.
He took it like a G.
if i wanted to see someone fall i would trip someone. falling people obviously fail but having to be reminded over and over is like watching someone fall over and over. eventually it stops being funny.