Submitted by Lee D
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It always comedy when it happens to someone else.
Hmmm… Cut-and-paste frist, there, MRN??
No, I thought part of the fail was having the news announcers laugh at a flood.
Uh huh … likely story MRN.
It does look pretty generic, doesn’t it? Hey, I don’t even go to the voting page ’cause I don’t want any idea what’s coming up.
I like surprises myself.
SURPRISE!!!!!!
*runs around nekkid*
*adds today to Leila’s file*
She’s just trying to achieve world peace. What would you do to save the world?
Do you mean the world, or mankind?
Just hit my clickie, you’ll understand.
*shows up with a black eye*
I hit your clickie and it hit me back.
Well then head down the thread to the clickie-abused support group. Maybe next time you’ll remember rule #1, 9-13.
*reports clickie to local police for domestic violence*
that was some storm (i was there, my tree almost fell on top of my house)
I’d eat a Klondike bar.
Hee! And what would you do for that Klondike bar?
Make many children with her, to prevent Idiocracy, of course!
*picks up barefoot by the ankle*
*thumps the top of his head on the ground several times*
Now! Repeat after me! I will not be a jackass on Failblog! Say it with me! This is your one chance to stay out of the Sun!
Jimbo, he just doesn’t understand that he is Clevon.
Argh!! Right when I’m practicing playing hard-to-get!! Curses!!!
*pretends not to notice*
*peeks through fingers*
*gooses Brewski*
*looks down* So now I know what’s coming up.
How is Leila running around nekkid a surprise?
cuz I am not Ms B.
So there!!!
Hey! I resemble that remark!
hehe *squeeze*
Come on … join the fun. Take it off!!!!!!
I don’t know. I ate a lot over the weekend.
You should do it!
*rips Brewski’s pants off*
See everyone is doing it.
*waits for rain*
I love that you can make fun of yourself, Jenny!
Who cares if you ate a lot … DO IT!!
You know you want to Ms B.
I was going to ask why you were wearing Brewski’s pants.
I suppose it’s ok if it’s for world peace.
*removes everything but the cape*
I take my cape off for one thing, and one thing only.
Jimbo, is it pooping?
Smokey and The Bandit reference fail….
10-4
woooohooo!!
I’ve started voting because I’m eager for some better fails. The penis-humor is getting a bit old.
Did you see us get mocked on GraphJam a few weeks ago for so much pea-ness?
One of the other sites in the ICHC kingdom. Someone did a pie chart that was something like, “Things you’ll find on Failblog”, and the biggest piece of the pie was penis references.
graphjam(dot)com/2009/06/23/song-chart-memes-fail-blog/
I actually commented on that one.
I see that! How come no one gets avatars over there?
Because they suck?
I just stopped over there. Feels all old and… Un-Avatared
Yeah, about as fun as the doctor’s waiting room.
Those can be fun sometimes!
They have those little puzzles with the blocks on wire tracks that you push around.
Are you raining on my penis parade again, Brewski?
Seriously though, I agree with you.
You … have a
penis??
*snork*
Similar to “It’s Raining Men”, but more specific.
Hallelujah!!!
Well that’s what you get for running around nekkid shouting you like surprises.
It’s Raining Penises!
It must be mansoon season.
Just so long as there are no malefactors here, I won’t mind.
Homme sweet homme?
Manna from heaven?
I refuse to be manacled by this thread. . . Oh man I didn’t. . . damn it!
Gawwww…would you look at the size of that bug!!
AAAAAAAAAGHGGHGHHHHH! Watch out for the mandib…
*nothing left but a hank o’ hair an’ a piece o’ bone*
Aww, come on. We just need a Big One to come around for one last laugh.
They were laughing at the idiots in helmets.
Obviously.
Actually Failblog, keep the videos on this site; I have embedded youtube videos blocked due to profiles lagging elsewhere… and I don’t want to turn adblock off…
Sure. Just laugh at me why don’t you!!!
BWUAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
Wait…what? I thought you wanted me to!
Hey! MRN
Can’t you see that there is a dog walking besides the rescue mition over
trouble waters!!!!!!!!!
That’s is the irony. That is the stupid reality media gives to you.
Hello! anybody inside your head?
That dog has a Jesus complex.
Maybe that’s the dog with Jesus on his ass!
OK, there’s your C/W song with dogs AND Jesus.
Wouldn’t it be great if my comment powered a video – oh wait that would probably be really bad.
“I didn’t want anyone else to have you, so I kept my dog in the manger until you showed me the light.”
Sung to the tune of “I’ve got tears in my ears from lying on my back crying over you.”
Is that another one of those blasted country-western songs about getting drunk at a bar and driving your pickup truck home so you can beat your wife within an inch of her life before raping your daughter?
.
*vomits thinking about country music*
*continues vomiting well past the thought leaving*
*continues vomiting*
*surpasses the epic vomiting session from Team America – World Police*
*falls face first into an epically large pool of vomit*
# When there’s tears in the eyes of a potato #
Doesn’t work for me, still no train.
I’m guessing this would be a bad time to invite you to go with me to Jamboree in the Hills – it’s an outdoor music festival, coming up in a week or so here in my neck of the woods.
Call me weird (I shouldn’t have said that) but I like both country AND western.
We have both kinds of music here – country AND western!
Blues Brothers ref?
It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.
:kiss:
Actually, it was a lifetime ago when my folks dragged me to the Big Valley Jamboree in Craven Sask. Bored me to death most of the time, but there was one night that really stood out. John Michael Montgomery just finished a rather boring set of typical pickup-truck confederate bumper sticker reading “never forget” garbage and I was trying to be a man and not cry like an infant when he came out for an encore and said something to the effect of “this is what I did during Letterman’s show, but it was edited out” and proceeded to thrash away an impressive 20 minute jazz wigout session. Totally floored me. I’ve tried listening to his music since and it bores me to tears again and again – I can’t find a recording of this jazz session he did!
.
If he happens to be at this Jamboree of yours Judy, stick around for the encore. You might get a real treat.
Just checked the lineup, he’s not appearing this year. But thanks for the heads-up.
um, ick!
Alll dogs go to heaven.
You can never go back.
only if you wind that watch
backwards
Won’t work. The only thing that works is watching a super-nova explosion close up while microwaving popcorn in a foil container. Or flying the Enterprise around the sun backwards really fast. Or making a bicycle thingie that time travels.
Or I could just make the Earth spin back a few times. You would have to ask nicely though.
Forgot that one – I stand corrected.
lol, literally LMAO!! oh, wait, no, ROFL, that’s what is litterally happening!!!! Thank you, I needed that. *whipes tears of joy from eyes*
They thought they were up the creek!
But at least they have a paddle.
Lucky b@stards!
I used the paddle on your buns last fail aiki!!!
*Rubs behind*
Yeah I know.
(Psst! You shouldn’t have eaten Patrica!)
:surprise:
Tsk. Aiki, your smiley directions are somewhat faulty. Where’s that paddle??
The water’s getting deeper! We need a larger dog!
Every Daschund for yourselves!! Wade for it!
Oh no, I just stepped in a poodle!!
They’re going to hound you for that.
I ought to box(er) you ears for the bad pun.
It terriers your ♥.
Mutt we always resort to violence?
Does it matter? Who gives a shitzu?
That’s (re)pug(nant).
Sorry, better collie the pun police.
I see we need to shepherd you through this pun run.
Yeah, you better write out some notes for me with a Shar-Pei.
That would not be sporting.
No, this is Great. Let’s do it aDane.
I wonder where they’ll disembark?
Wherever they decide to setter down, I guess.
Irish I had a dog.
*checks up on the woof* Nope, none there.
I wouldn’t if this was in New Yorkie.
Just take a sample and send it to the Lab(rador).
You’ll have to follow me, canine?
*Follows Avis*
I can never resist a husky voice.
Careful avis, with that look i think Marius might pincher butt.
*Point(er)s out that it was Eight up there, not Avis*
Well, that puts a kink in the Plott, doesn’t it? Sorry.
*Checks*
You’re right, Avis is a ten in my book.
You collied?
Do you want the toy or the mastiff?
Nyah Nyah
I’m going to the Mal *teses Avis*
Guys, you used up all the dogs! *walks away with tail between legs*
Leaving? Chow!
Just keep trying Judy. I’m sure you’ll come up with something golden(doodle).
Don’t leave, Judy! It’s just a bunch of bull!
Don’t forget your dalmatian to the fail blog school for ungifted pun-ers.
*retrievers Judy*
*thinks Judy forgot how many kinds there are*
Well, I guess this pun run will Rottweiler brain gets back in gear.
She’ll think of something, then come back here and whippet out.
You’ll see…she’ll show her dogged determination.
Just repeat to yourself, ‘I think canaan I think canaan’
How sweet of you all to try and kelpie like that!
*snuggles all*
Oooh…Admiral, would you be a doll and rub mastiff back for me, please?
*strokes back*
After this, I’ll work your aching pyrenees.
Wow, I’m glad Judy decided to come back. Thought she’d been carted off to Jailblog and we were gonna hafta Springer.
OMG. By the time i had loaded this page there were 5 posts ._.
wonder how many after ive finished typing…
trillions of posts will be down here once i finish to reply you
It’s Mr. Fantastic’s Dog. Duhhh.
oh, I read that wrong…
Come join us on the next fail.
That dog sure has long legs.
He was walking on stilts.
This must be a water coursing hound.
Admiral is here but no dw. Hmmm…*eyes admiral suspiciously*
Puns are still your Achilles’ heel I see.
I frequently find myself reluctant to reply to many of your comments, for fear of screwing up a pun run that I can’t see…
*Sulks in tent*
I’m not coming out till this punrun is flowing smooth and silkie again.
Am I that unfathomable?
I think I’m developing a tick.
Not to me. *smooooooch*
And if Marius doesn’t stop pouting, I’m going to tell the king. And his mom.
Yeah, he shouldn’t lyre around all day.
Keep your chin up AA, I’ll wade bake into the punrun.
See Dragon, No need to cause a chryses by telling tales.
(That’s one deep water pun I sea up there)
I guess I’m still worked up from your laptop tragedy. Let me Troy this again…
*smooooooch*
Aw, now you’re just horsing around!
I should follow your suit Ms B. I don’t want to lose my diploma again.
Great, at this rate every thread will end as soon as I comment on it.
*pouts*
I said I’m reluctant. Not that I never reply!
*squeeze*
Oh Admiral! I was just taking the easy way out. Of course I will respond.
*squeeze*
Ooops, that pout was too powerful. Sorry, and thanks!
You know you’ll always have a dragon at your back, Admiral. I wouldn’t just leave you hanging!
And I will always return the favor and reply in kind.
ACK!!!
What they heyl? I did it again!!!!! 
I am sorry admiral.
This is for Jenny. Clickie to understand why Brewski was…. perturbed with me. You might want some eye bleach after watching. And it might ruin the song for you. I think the rest of you have seen this.
NO CLICKY!!!!!
*runs in terror*
*follows Ms B*
*follows Leila*
Hi guys! Where are we going?
*follows DW*
*follows Brewski, who follows DW, who follow Leila, who follows Ms B*
*grabs Brewski’s butt*
:angel:
*courses*
She mentioned last fail that she was “foncused”. I figure seeing the video should clear that right up!
You did warn them. They can’t help themselves – they must click the clickie!
What has been seen cannot be unseen.
More’s the pity.
I don’t know if it’s a blessing that 99% of the clickies from FBers are blocked here are work.
GAH! Curse my curiosity of all things clickie!!
Resist!! Resist!!!!!!
I DID give warning.
Warning sadly does NOTHING for me!
*Bawls*
Oh, dear. That was awful. And more awkward with no sound than I think it might have been with. Some people… *Sigh*
It was the song “I Touch Myself”.
Got that.
Thanks though! I lipread rather well. Not that I needed to. Hehe.
“I Touch Myself.”
“Reading Lips.”
My mind is going to places it probably shouldn’t be right now.
You could always go click the clickie up there!
*sigh* It’s blocked … which, I’m guessing, is probably a good thing.
Consider that a blessing and you can still join the support group below.
Her mind is definitely in a better place right now.
We need to start a therapy group for failbloggers who have been internally blemished from clickies.
That therapist would be making money hand over fist!
Aah! Terrible phrasing, bad clicky…
*starts rocking back and forth*
*signs guestbook*
I brought the cookies and punch.
*sits in folding chair*
*cries*
*sits in corner, rocking back and forth*
This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening.
Well, I guess it means I have to open the facility.
Attention everyone: All who have been scarred by Avis’ or granny’s or anyone’s clickies and need to talk about it can drop in for group sessions open 24/7.
*lines up & waits for session to start*
oooooooooookay, I’ll start.
Hi, my name is foop and I’m Clickie-Damaged.
*listens intently for ‘hi, foop’ from group*
*checks hearing aid*
*eats watch*
Hi Foop!
Avis…you joined the group too?
Hi FOOP!!!! My name is Leila and I am NOT clicke-damaged … YET.
I was damaged by that video. I just refused to be alone in that!
Be happy I still can’t find the singing/talking pen!s video!
*Is Happy*
*looks for DV for another round of Barbies*
*saw that episode of South Park*
*is still disturbed by it*
Hi Foop, my name is Jimbo and I’ve been clickie-damaged on several occasions. I’m just taking it one day at a time….
Are pickle-damaged commenters welcome here, too?
Of course!!
The Potato-Damaged included.
1. No clickie.
2. Clickie on Granny…are you insane?
3. Safety.
4. Don’t get between Dragon and the Admiral.
5. ???
6. Profit!
We need six more steps.
7. If it moves, use duct (or duck) tape.
8. If it’s stuck, Bacon Lube it.
(Take it away, FBlogganers…)
9. If you make a mess, use the ShamWows to clean it up.
Steps 7 through 12 – Repeat Step 1.
10. Always remember to refresh before commenting!
11. Clothing optional.
12. PROFIT!!!
.
Yeah, profit is important enough to be listed twice. Deal.
11. Always use Mr J’s home made condoms when getting freaky
I think there should be some mention of the fact that almost any post will be read to have innuendo. I could quote the US Constitution, the Bible, or Bill O’Reilly. Still innuendo.
- Four score and seven years ago . . .
- He said score! Huhuhuhuh
Oh, and a rule about no humping, even on Wednesday. I broke that one once. I got in trouble.
Now how did I miss that?
Maybe innuendo, but not in MYendo. :smirk:
That is Nacho cheese, NS!
…But we can share, If you like.
what do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
I think this video ruined guitar hero for me for a little while.
I liked his enthusiastic finale there, though. If you’re going to make perverse Guitar Hero videos to put online, you might as well go all out!
True. But Crotch Guitars aren’t for the faint of heart if done by people of this (soul) Calibur.
Ouch. A video game pun. I should Smash (Bros.) you for that!
*Feels self die a little inside for saying that*
I’m sorry. It just had to be done. You should get that dead bit checked out.
*checks out Chani’s dead bit*
*looks concerned*
.
You’re OK for now, but I wouldn’t recommend repeating that experience until you’re ready to join the hoard.
Sorry, ZA. It was more of a metaphorical, spiritual-type inner death. I’m always ready to join the hoard though! One must be prepared. It can strike at any time, you know.
Oh, and shouldn’t you ask before checking out a lady’s bits? Dead or not? Manners!
*checks out Chan’s bytes*
I like looking at the big picture!
*forgot the living pays attention to “manners”*
Sorry.
Oh no! We’re doomed!
We’d better Ratchet up and Clank our way through it.
Many may get angry. Then there’d be major Fallout.
I just don’t get the link.
The link is that I declare myself the new Master (chief) of Game Pun Runs.
Okay. You’re the boss.
*prepares for battle*
*Sneaks up behind Dragon*
Your halo is crooked.
*SQUEEZE*
*Player two has left the game*
Oh my god – you made it to the finale!!!
No kidding. I had to turn it off a mere minute into it.
You made it longer than I did, Ms B!
I had that “train wreck” feeling so I ended up watchin the whole thing.
Just to reiterate, you did tell us you were foncused.
symbol as warning for bleach inducing videos.
And in the future I’ll use this
I’m OK, I just didn’t stick around for a finale.
AAHHHHH! No Avis, say it ain’t so…
Just when I thought it was gone it came back and I didn’t even watch it!
*Phones therapist*
Hey doc… yeah it’s me… yeah, it’s back again…
HAHA!!!
Look at my post above aiki.
I specifically said it was for Jenny.
Yes, but curiosity killed the innocence of many an innocent Failblogger.
Maybe I’m the only one who actually thinks it great that
Ithat guy had the sense of humor to mockmyselfhimself like that.I always thought that the best jokes come from the person who lives it.
Pray tell — what is this “innocence” of which you type?
*attempts to look innocent*
*FAILs*
*takes a picture*
*submits it to failblog*
*votes on DW’s picture*
Photoshops DW’s photo.
Well, that’s one way to get a picture of Brewski with his clothes on.
It’s colorforms fun!
It’s that feeling you had before you noticed the zombie in the room. That feeling of peace, love and smoking granola. Color wheels and free thinking. Children dancing in the streets.
.
Before it was all torn down and you realized you’ve been playing with dead things.
It’s also the thing that makes you feel seriously internally violated when you clickie. It can take a long time to die, but when it does, you get to surrender to the sweet numbness of apathy. Yay!
Meh
Children shouldn’t play with dead things.
♫
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
♫
That was very….deep, ZA.
*snerk*
Snerk Count =
Wait. I don’t do snerks.
Nebber mind.
*grabs measuring tape and measures*
.
6 feet. That’s still regulation, right?
I’m guessing more of you would be on to the next (bonus) Fail if you knew there was a Zombie Scouting Post pic.
Bonus fail?
*waits until after lunch for some idiotic reason*
*smokes granola*
Ooh, look at the color wheels!
*falls over*
♪ Don’t bogart that granola, my friend… pass it over to me… ♪
*puff puff pass*
*puff puff *
*falls over next to IUL*
*finds it funny that anyone thought highly of this song before this video and that this could ruin it*
At least I used to be able to visualize a very attractive woman when I heard it, now I see a fat kid in a thong.
This fail has “Pun Run” Written all over it…
FIRST!!!!!1111ONEONE!!!!!ONE!11!ONE!111!
PFFFFTTTTT!!!!
Would’ve been better with “eleven” in there somewhere.
Oh sorry.
PFFFFTTTTT!!11!ONE!!
Better?
Oh I was talking about Sexheman’s.
But very well done on your part.
Ooooh…you replied to my post so I assumed … *flees crying*
*In persuit*
Wait! That was my mistake!
*Notices just how out of shape he is*
Hold on…! *cough. pant* You.. Are the fastest FailBlogger ever…
Come back… *wheeze*
*Passes out*
*looks back and sees Qwaz passed out*
*dials 3333 on cell for help*
*keeps running*
*Wakes up*
*Notices Leila accidentally ended up on a treadmill in front of a moving screen*
*Casually pretends to walk next to Leila to see how well this goes over*
Talk about going nowhere fast. *sigh*
Wow! You’re running through a desert now!
They didn’t want to get their feet wet.
Maybe the water was cold?
Or they were playing the hot lava game.
Hmmm, if that’s the case, then they’re all in hot water.
Ok.
They didn’t wanto to get their feet wet.
And…
The helmets and all the equipment?
What for?
Just to be in fashion? N N N N N O O O O O!!!!!!!!!!!
THEY WERE AVOIDING ANY POSSIBLE ALLIGATOR!!!!
Help help help!!!!
I am knee deep wait ankle deep in water who will come and save me!
*throws a life preserver to eagle*
*retrieves life preserver and throws rubber duckie*
♫ Rubber Duckie, you’re the one… ♫
*sways w/nightshayde*
♪ You make bathtime lots of fun ♪
I love to sing that song, but every time I do, my fiance gets upset. Apparently Ernie got the rubber duckie because Bert died, and Ernie was lonely. I don’t remember that…
Bert DIED????
This is what I’m told. I don’t know how.
Here is an official statement from the rec.art.henson+muppets FAQ:
“No. No way, no how. No ‘Sesame Street’ Muppet character is dead,
dying, or planning to die.
but there is one w/ HIV
Right. One of them has HIV but no one is going to die. I guess the acronym “Anally Inserted Death Sentence” means noting anymore.
.
Damn the living can be gullible.
I think it was cancer or AIDS, but I am pretty sure it was cancer.
Alright, Google says no, Bert did not die. It was an unfounded but well circulated rumour that he was being killed off due to having contracted HIV. My fiance is convinced it happened though!
The Google is a lie.
Everything on the internet is truth! It does not ever lie to us!
Just look at Wikipedia! It’s absolute truth!
if you boil your pocket change it will turn into dollar bills…. It’s truem it’s on the internet…
If Bert dies, everyone should travel in masses to visit his Hollywood star and the taxpayers of Los Angeles should pay four million dollars for a memorial in the Staples Center.
Bert’s last name isn’t Lytell by any chance?
*throws Life Savers candy to eagle*
This looks like a job for…
The Drunk Babysitting Duck from the previous fail!
*sneaks in and grabs a cherry flavored one*
*gets it stuck in hair trying to fit it down around waist*
*panics*
*grabs passing dog’s … collar*
*is pulled to safety*
*eats hair lifesaver*
*flings ‘y’ up into hair*
*catches ‘y’ and hangs it in her cube*
Who is Patrica 2.0 Leila?
Ummmm ya thanks Jimbo, what flavour?
What a perilous journey those saviors have embarked on…
Everyone has a cross to bear.
Oh my fu**ing god, you americans are so stupid and despicable! Please die, all of you.
We will all die, and so will everyone from your country too. Thought you realized that.
I’m Canadian, so I guess I get a free pass correct?
*moves to Canada with Emperor*
Spero che non e’ una problema.
Non con me.
You usually get a free pass in my book!
:kiss:
Whenever I can I spare you a passing glance. Needless to say I can spare alot of them.
Careful. You’re messing with the known worlds badass.
Prepare to get beasted.
*claws from the grave*
*drags stereo with him*
*puts stereo down and presses play*
*MJ’s Bad starts playing*
*100,000 zombies start clawing their way from the ground*
*zombie hoard stands up behind zombie*
*entire hoard starts dancing toward SW*
*hoard overtakes SW*
*horrifying screams can be heard*
*sounds of flesh tearing and bones breaking are also heard*
*pieces of bloody SW are flung through the air*
*hoard starts moonwalking back to their graves*
*zombie follows, taking stereo with him*
*other than a lot of footprints, few traces of the attack remain*
You have to admit, they got style.
Totally off topic, but this is my new favorite news story of the day. Poor little guy! He was just trying to drown his sorrows!
Makes you wonder how he got drunk in the first place.
“So A Badger walks into a bar, see…”
….and the priest sitting there says….
… “The power of Christ compels you!”, while throwing a vial of …
… baconlube into the chamber of the potato gun …
…Aims at the bartender and says…
…grab all of the money and follow me if you want to live…
… and right then he sneezes, accidentally pulling the trigger and firing a barrage of potato skins at the bartender …
…who offers the badger today’s special – the tatertini.
An Excellent joke. I shall use that at a party some day as an Ice Breaker. “Polar Bear” gets old after awhile.
The cherries he ate were fermented.
*hic*
What?
Bad timing to ask … seeing as you’re in your cups an’ all, but … *gasp* *deer in the headlights look* Leila, why are you MOURNing Patrica?
You haven’t heard Foop?
*prays she isn’t ruining a pun-run*
Arthur and aiki ate Patrica in my absence. I was only gone for 6 days.
Well, maybe when the cows come home . . .
IF they ever come home … seems there are a lot of interceptions lately.
You want a drink? I made Mimosas.
That reminds me, Arthur & aiki left some
steaksuh….reminders of Patrica in the freezer.And yes, I’d love a mimosa!
Oooh, I want my reminder medium rare. A nice red wine, or maybe a hearty beer would be nice with it too.
Did somebody say “beer”?
*looks hopeful*
What are you wearing? Depending on your answer you get the beer of your choice.
*wheels in the grill*
I’ll take mine medium rare as well please!
*looks down*
*sees pants are still missing from last 2 fails*
I guess I’m pretty much mostly nekkid. Can I still have a beer?
*sees that Ms B is fully clothed*
*takes lighter and burns her clothes without harming her*
There! Much better.
Mimosa?
Medium rare for both! Coming right up.
Here, Brewski, wanna cover up with this apron? It might be a little safer, with you standing so close to the grill and all.
DAMMIT LEILA! I seem to do pretty well around here without you!
*stomps off to find replacement clothes*
*wanders to local liquor store*
*horrifying screams are heard from within*
*wanders out carrying cases of expensive beer*
*offers one to Brewski and anyone else interested*
*Is interested*
May I?
Correct answer Brewski!!
Here’s your beer.
Awww MS B!! You mean you have more fun when I am around. *lips quiver*
*is also interested, and apparently following the dress code*
Wow, thanks ZA!
And thanks for the apron, Judy!
*finds an oatmeal stout, cracks open*
Poor Ms B! You better ease up on her Leila, she’s really trying to reform after she retired from the nudist colony.
Hey Judy, I wish this apron didn’t have flowers all over it. I feel pretty silly.
*takes mimosa*
*eyes Brewski’s naked butt hanging out the back of a flowered apron*
*takes picture*
Ah! It all comes together now.
oh, check out the drunk squirrel, he is a riot!
I like that story, but I think it would have been even funnier had a beaver gotten drunk on cherries.
*blames the “I Touch Myself” references*
Psssst….. the kid in the clickie is a GUY!! And is morbidly obese to boot!
.
.
Here’s the bleach by the way.
*hands over bottle of eye-bleach*
And by “morbidly obese”, she means HUGE and wearing a thong while stroking a Guitar Hero controller.
And occasionally stroking himself, sorta.
*with all these descriptions, wonders if eye-bleach is enough*
*wonders if maybe brain-bleach is called for now*
Good thing he didn’t eat those mushrooms.
Good thing they were wearing the life jackets!
Is it that time already?
I get to chill with the Girl today so I must take my leave.
Later, FailBloggers!
*Parting squeezes*
Later qwaz, don’t do anything I wouldnt’ do.
Knowing you, that’s not much.
It would appear she cancelled our plans.
Awwww… Looks like you’re stuck with us!
And I wouldn’t have it any other way for now!
*squeeze*
Bye Qwaz
I seem to recall some classified you as “troll” when you first joined Failblog, and had written you off. Nice piece of work! I love seeing success stories!!
Why thank you, Brewski.
That means alot coming from you.
Woops, didn’t read that you’re “stuck with us”!
Not as much “Stuck” as “Comes crawling back every time”
*understands how that confusion could occur, since he looks like Marvin after all*
Those were dark days, indeed.
*pffft*
Oops, sorry. You must have squeezed a little too
hard!
Wait make sure you look at the McBirth Control on the previous fail before you do anything…
Beats getting your balls soaked. Just ask the dog.
Girl dogs don’t have balls.
*hands Leila a tube of tennis balls*
Now ya do. Have fun playing with your balls.
Do you have some glue?
*hands Leila a tube of mighty putty*
*takes tennis balls and glues them to girl doggy*
I don’t know why she is yelping!!
FWIW, I like Viddler better because I can watch the video in Google Reader.
In reality, that bread’s legs are over 5 feet long.
Fifty foot queenie.
LOL, that reads as bread, the kind to put in a toaster to make toast. the word you want is breed. *hands selfworm the bukkit* fill ‘er up
*contemplates bread with legs* *shudders*
Look at the legs on that loaf!!!
Aww. You’re just tryin to butter me up.
*a toast to my fabulous fellow Failboogers*
*bangheaddeskbangheaddesk*
^^*Bloggers*^^
*bukkithead*
*barf*
Whoever left for Ireland (I am kicking myself for not remembering the name) did they ever come back?
Mr. Cuddles has returned from Ireland, but he cannot access Failblog from work.
I believe Gaynor is in Ireland.
Dang…I miss Mr. Cuddles.
Yeah, and I miss Dragonwriter.
Wait a minute!
*sigh*
So do I.
Yes, it was mr cuddles!!! How did that slip my mind. I need a mental vacation.
Guys, I’m out. I have to get a haircut and then I have to run errands for work. Be good till I see all of you again.
Don’t come back Bald, now.
I bet you go to Supercuts … *snerk*
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!XD!!!
It’s hard to take THAT flood seriously!!
WEINERSCHNITZEL DAWG FTW!!!!
I don’t get why this video is a fail…
They’re using a boat with to navigate on something like 2 inches of water, as we can see as a dog is walking beside their boat. They could just WALK.
not just the dog, civilians and other police officers are walking and the water is halfway up their shoes… they don’t even need boots.
This is literally 1 to 2 inches of water.
it’s jesus dog
OMG hahahha… owned!
Probably safer than walking. After a flood there’s all kinds of unsavory stuff in the water.
Taco Bell commercial just aired – bacon topped burrito covered with cheese and … bacon.
I’m thinking I’m hungry….
See ya, guys.
Drive Safely!
“jesus it was scary, we were literaly inches from getting wet!!”
everythings bigger in texas – even the dogs are the size of the loch ness monster!
OMG I live there 0.0
I didn’t know jesus had a dog.
And dog backwards is god. Ooooo
The dog can walk in water!! Miracle!!
lol
nah its just jesus dog so dont laugh
The FAIL is that they are paddling when a daschund can walk in the water. There is no need for a tube. They could be walking. You dipshits. The news reporters weren’t laughing– the guy who was filming it was.
That must be a huge dog to walk over the water level xD
+1 for viddler – works way better in my reader too
Holy crap!!!!!!! A dog walking on water!!!
Jesus Dog strikes again!
So when are we going to go back to a service that doesn’t force commercials on us? Is it really that profitable? It goes well beyond annoying (to the point that I watch just long enough to determine what’s being advertized and remove it, whatever it is, from my list of things I’m going to buy).
thank God for the dog!
did no one else notice that the fail wasn’t the guy laughing, but the fact that the rescuers were in kayaks with a rat-dog walking ankle deep beside them? lmao
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