Massage Chair Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
First!, yeah!
String theory is a developing branch of theoretical physics that combines quantum mechanics and general relativity into a quantum theory of gravity.[1] The strings of string theory are one-dimensional oscillating lines, but they are no longer considered fundamental to the theory, which can be formulated in terms of points or surfaces, too.
Guys , do you see those little RED converse shoes in the pic? Somebodys resting on the lap. eheh
Nobody saw that before you pointed it out. Thanks, we’ll get another few jokes out of that now.
Perhaps this massage chair was in the Neverland Ranch?
And that’s Michael wearing his Nike’s so he can ‘Just Do It’?
He’s being “bad”.
Maybe that’s Dirty Diana and he’s just trying to thriller!
Or it could be Billy Jean and he’s about to beat it.
Or he’s just trying to make Ben Smile.
It’s easy as 1-2-3.
He’s trying to squeeze out some appelsap.
7-hit-combo!
you guys are so nice making fun of dead people like that.
Nah he didn’t die! He just got his ass a little painful right now probably. Don’t worry, it’ll be alright
i saw it
The “Penetrator” sign is pointing up at the guy holding a child on his lap.
Thank you, Captain Obvious! I’m so glad you were here to point that out, since I left my eyes and powers of observation at home this morning!
don’t be such a meanetrator
ya i totally saw that ! teehee
yeah, but they’re kids shoes dumbass
Two people have now ruined the responsibility of being first and second commenters. Arto said, “first. Yeah!” Which goes against the science of intelligence. SoloM F T F wrote (most likely copied) a paragraph about string theory, completely out of place on a website like failblog. Shame on them.
*prepares the bonfire*
SoloM FTF didn’t post second, note the time stamp. He did copy and paste the guff about the string theory, note the [1] which would lead me to believe he got it off Wikipedia.
I’m sure when he meant second, he meant in the position of second, so it is the first thing people see when visiting the site.
Shouldnt trust a website where any old troll can go in and just type “Bark! BARK BARK BARK! I am a cow!” on the subject of relativity.
Andreas eats dick.
Potastic!
*takes a stab*
Mashey and Spicey?
Be vicareful not to overheat the machine.
I’ll set in on low for a chipper experience.
C-C-COMBO BREAKER !! ….what ? too soon ?
Has anyone noticed there is most likely a kid sitting on his (or her) lap? And the fact he (or she) is wearing black and PINK shoes? But I find the fast that there might be a kid there failarsauce or more in the category of LOLARSAUCE.
Do you want fries with that shake?
Do you want pie with that cake?
Are you going to make or take?
Are we gonna Wake and Bake?
We’re going to the lake to shake
Wakey wakey hands off snakey?
♫ Shake shake shake ♫
♫ Shake shake shake ♫
♫ Shake your bootie ♫
♫ Shake your booootie ♫
♫ I said, shake, rattle and roll ♫
♫ Shake, rattle and roll ♫
♫ I’ve got the shake, oh the hippy hippy shake. ♫
C-C-Combo SHAKER!!!
♫♫♫RICK♫ROLL!♫♫♫
Ooh yes please. Shaked and baked, extra crispy.
Crinkle cut, shoestring or waffle?
Waffle,
Would you like squares in that pankakez?
I do waffle a lot but can we play croquette instead?
Please don’t say croquette it makes me think of the balls… *shiver*
So, if anyone’syrup for a pun run . . .
Oh no the Runs!!! Oh god the sour cream! What it does to me!!!!
I would love to fritter away the day playing with you. Which of us plays skins?
Btw, awesome definition of the runs!
1. the runs 228 up, 14 down love it hate it
viscious sh!ts of biblical proportions.
I shat my pants, I have the runs
Awww, you’re sweet. Wedge you know if I yam likely to win skins?
I spudded my name too late. *sigh*
*therethere* Tatereally bad misstep. But ifried have done it …. oh dear. Playing ketchup ain’t easy.
I won’t coddle you Jam, the fix is in, you’re skins.
I can see I’m going to get roasted here. Maybe I should play tuber instead.
No need to stew over this, we can just rehash the rules.
You’re a golden wonder, Marius. You’d poutine new rules just so I can understand.
I’m boiled over with gratitude.
Aw shucks, I’ll let you wear the jersey now. Just remember, the trick is not to turn yellow when the heat is on.
Thank you. Yukon Gold my stuff while I try on your Jersey.
Turning yellow has always been at the root of my problems.
If you’re willing to pay the piper you can be on the bubble and squeak by into the next round.
Lets’callop a Marius WIN for this round. I’m starching to run out of puns.
Okay, I’m ready to turn over a new leaf.
BTO FTW
I Aja *squeeze* waiting all this time.
Wow Aja got the initial post! Good job!
I’m wondering about that third foot…
This guy is hung like a horse! It has its own shoe!
*rofl* Comment win!
The penetrator is sitting in the chair
It’s a double enter’ndre?
If the shoe fits. . .
Well, if the foo sh …. oh, never shoulda started THAT one.
Oh no, not on this ride ƒ∞þ.
damn those shoes are ugly
Pfft. Crashes all the time. Nothing beats the iVicar Pro.
I know. But then you’re stuck buying only iV attachments.
the baby Jesus is my fav
I prefer the ET Fingerlite. It sends you over the moon.
I hear that once you’ve had a BackBerry, you can’t go without.
That guy seems alright with his laptop. It has all the ports he needs.
jam! You’ve morphed back!
Would you believe it was a complete mistake? I forget to reset the address. *sigh*
Once the comment was made I figured I’d test her out. See what happens today.
*crosses fingers*
You should somehow meld jam and spongebetty into one super being spongejam!
Add some cream and call me Victoria?
No diamonds though…
watch out for that giant victoria spongecake!
Ahh HELP US help us
I won’t tell you any secrets either. Loose lips sink ships.
*points*
YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU
If you like adventure,
Don’t you wait to enter.
*enlists*
I like you better like this. MUCH better. hehehehe
*crosses legs*
Yes, she is more me if that makes sense.
No need to cross your legs though. I’m not taking aim.
*crosses eyes*
Also… If he’s around, a pea burp day to DrB today.
You misunderstoo me, I crossed my legs to hide my…happiness.
*crosses street slightly bent*
*d
(what happened to the bukkit, btw ?)
Bukkit? Fukkit!
What’s a backward b between friends?
Not to worry, czuhc. I understoo you perfeckly.
I understoo him pertickly too,
But somehow that never came thru.
has anyone else noticed the child’s foot hanging in the middle?
H-o-o-o h-o-o-o h-o-o-o a-a-n-n-d w-w-h-a-a-t w-w-o-o-u-l-d-d y-o-o-u l-l-i-i-k-e f-f-o-r-r C-h-i-s-s-s-m-m-a-a-s m-m-y-y b-b-o-o-y?
D-d-d-r-y-y-y p-p-p-a-a-a-n-n-t-s-s-s w-o-o-o-l-d-d b-b-e-e-e n-n-i-i-i-c-c-e…
r-r-e-e-t-t-t-a-a-r-r-r-d-d-s-s-
Sorry, the rides over.
*Pushes Solo off lap*
Wow, its not even a normal penetrator – its a penetrator 2000!!!
I’ll have the penne pasta 2000, please.
How much penetration do I get with the 3000?
)
(G’morning everyone!
Good morning Katz!
*squeeze*
*Squeezie*
50% extra thrust.
*Takes out charts and data studies*
…so in conclusion you should get about 15-45% more penetration. It all depends on your power source
it comes outta ur mouth
Twenty!
Seriously, nobody is interested in your IQ.
jag haren berguv i huvet
?
Jag förstå inte.
The fact that he’s sitting on that with a small kid s even more disturbing!
sandwich
With extra meat?
(Granny, you powered the Fail yesterday.
)
with extra JAM!!!! but may need a sponge after
Me powered? how? what?
Bottle opening Fail. Check it out! One of your more printable comments made it.
*squeeze*
And it’s a beautiful thing. Congrats, GCF! *squeezes granny AND (welcome back!) jam*
I was hoping they’d use one of Granny’s more ‘wild’ comments but meh!
*squeeze*
What does “powering a fail” mean? And where are these comments? Who are you people and what are you doing in my house? Is it Wednesday yet? When’s my hat?
Who are you? Where am I? Is this Pyongyang? Is that a baguette? Is the 3:30 train to Manchester late?
How many time is it? Why are my fingernails leaking? Who will my tea be ready? What kind of do you live? Hello, when do I know you?
It’s upstairs. Do I have to tell you anything?
Is what upstairs? What a difference a day makes? Which window is laughing at me? All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
Eleanor Kitchener? I’ve seen you on the radio.
Wait until the last 10 seconds of a Fail video and pause it when the caption comes up briefly. If it’s you, you have the power.
*hopes your question was serious or I’m looking stupid*
Iw was serious, and thank you. It quickly degenerated into sillyness however.
People are always jumping to conclusions. He might as well sitting there holding only a child’s leg.
that can bring luck I’ve heard
Only if you rub it.
…on your “leg”.
It doesn’t look like a rabbit’s foot. Well, with the shoe, it’s awfully hard to tell.
*loads Penetrator2000 with “be” and inserts in comment”
What’s all the buzz about Czuhc?
I have to correct somesting.
We’ve all bumbled at one time or another.
MARIIMAN
I don’t even want to know where you put the quarters!
You don’t put them anywhere, it runs on children’s tears.
I could probably power it for a year!
Bad childhood? Tell me about your father!
Nevar! You’ll never get me alive!
*Sits down with pen and pad ready to go all Freudian on Zing200*
*jumps out the 12th story window and *squeeze*s teddy bear on the way down*
*assembles an ACME trampoline*
*hopes for something Zingy to happen*
Activates jetpack and heads for Mars
*Activates Mars and heads for Jupiter*
*activates Uranus and heads for the head*
*activates the head and sets in on full power*
*breaks head with bottle*
ow
*wrong head* damn!
*Crosses legs to protect head*
*Dead heads to Austin*
Heads to the ears
opps I mean *Heads to the ears*
I remember when the shoe shines in Manhattan had chairs like these. You could sit in them and get a good buffing at the same time.
*Sigh*
Those were the days.
Did they have long things sticking out of the top of the seat?
Some kind of ground breaking NEW technology?
Yes, you can tell by the clever yellow wiring underneath.
Last I saw it was brown wiring
last I saw it was red wiring.
Penny likes letters but not words.
She likes food but not eating.
She likes eating, and that bears repeating. She likes eating. (That truly sounds … naughty, doesn’t it?) *yikes*
No she doesn’t like eating. She likes doors but not gates.
she likes spoons but not forks and trees but not bushes?
Yes and mammals but not animals.
bumming but not penetration
killing but not murder.
Soopo kinky.
Soopo wtf?
*Sips coffee*
Mmmm…scrambled toddler….
I’m hungry this morning.
*Goes to look for breakfast*
you ever tossed a coin down the grand canyon?
ever parked a bicycle in an airplane hangar?
Hey, if I knew I was playing in a cathedral I would have brought a bigger organ.
You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
*squeeze*
Excellent quote Marius
What did they do with all the dirt they took out of the grand canyon?
They made Mount Everest, of course!
We will pump you up (SNL)
i’d say its too late look the kid got owned already !
Looks like they haven’t had their Daily Penetration yet.
Whats with the third foot?
Someone stole my shoes! Those red ones!
The Penetrator 2000: Evil machine penetrating one person at a time…
Serious fail lol
HAHA! Google is my friend! Apparently it’s just an unfortunately-named foot massage machine. I guess so named because the vibrations penetrate the sore muscles of your feet? o_O
:ill:
:sick:
:barf:
:vampire:
:clown:
:puppydogeyes:
:angel:
please ignore. am testing.
Maybe there is an attachment, unseen when in use (as on the picture), that makes this ride one for the ages.
He reminds me of me cause hes also got a third leg.
in between the dudes legs are kids feet
It’s a cheap generic version of the Anal Intruder 2000, although it works with European power plugs.
Why is there a small child on their lap?
Pervert win.
this isnt funny
Oh thank God for Penetration! Mmmmmmh…….
With that little kid on his lap, this is a Fail in several ways…
let’s just not talk about it.
To get a kid, one has to be penetrated SOMEHOW by SOMETHING… maybe she wanted another little kid to wear tiny converse sneakers too?
it’s hard to say if this is amusing or disturbing… the name is certainly amusing… the kid sitting in who-knows-if-that’s-a-man-or-woman’s lap is certainly disturbing
LOL, if it’s a guy, then FHL. If it’s a female, woo lala.
Jeeze, people, it’s just a poorly named foot massage machine that apparently the guy’s just sitting in, not really using. It’s not a giant public dildo o_O
Haha! Yep, you’re right.
Its never good when you have the number 2000 at the end
fail!!!!!!!!!!!!
That it is, O Clever One.
very gay. not the machine those nikes
It’s in portuguese wow
okay wtf.retarded much
this had me in hysterics!
Oh yeah!!!! thats the spot!!!! shut up johnny!