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Instructional Fail



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Picture by: cb1ryder. Submitted by: cb1ryder via Fail Uploader

This is one of the pages of the instruction manual for the Timex I-Control watch.

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» 396 Failures in Communication

  1. Jules ♂ ♪ © says:

    Yummy. Just watch!

  2. First says:

    First!

  3. Son of Lord Rogue III says:

    They forgot a comma.
    “Do not eat, watch.”

  4. Mr. Ed fan says:

    Mmmmmm timex sandwich

  5. it may affect your ticker

  6. Son of Lord Rogue III says:

    Unfortunately, I must cry “shopped” on this one. Still amusing.

  7. Bearly Awake says:

    And the psychic failbloggers have it again! Why, just yesterday Jenny was licking her Timex! Good thing they posted this before she got too hungry.

    • Brewski says:

      The instructions don’t mention if licking the Timex is acceptable. I have to assume so, otherwise they woud be sued for false advertising.

      • So long as you don’t push any buttons while you do so. Otherwise it isn’t saliva-proof.

      • ♀nΣ šWε└∟ ♥ ƒ∞þ says:

        It must be true! John Cameron Swayze said so!!
        *stomps foot*
        Damn! What happened to my watch?

      • Hasabrain says:

        “…sued for false advertising”. There’s so much wrong with this, especially given the subject matter.

        A) False advertising would most likely incur a fine … not the same as being sued.
        B) If something went wrong they would be liable for the damage caused, not for any advertising infringement.
        C) This isn’t an advert.
        D) Since when has ‘not’ mentioning something qualified as ‘false advertising’. That’s like saying: “That car advert didn’t tell me that the Ford cannot go 1000mph therefore it must be true, and if not they are falsely advertising this product to me” … and then suing them for such.
        E) You display your understanding that this is a set of instructions earlier in your paragraph; meaning you’re not stupid, but perhaps retarded.

        I could probably squeeze a few more out but I bored myself :)

        • Brewski says:

          So it’s true! Some lawyers/barristers/soliciters/whatever have no sense of humour!!
          I was referring to the Timex ad campaign, “Takes a licking and keeps on ticking!”
          If you don’t get it, don’t analyse.

  8. serious case of the munchies

  9. chez ♂ says:

    Exactly! You’re supposed to pry off the crystal with your canines!

  10. Ms B ♥ says:

    But I’m soooooo hungry!

  11. newguy says:

    now i want an edible watch….

  12. Tech Law says:

    There is nothing better then a good rolex covered with cheese

  13. chez ♂ says:

    Watching your weight anyone?

  14. Arthur Eld says:

    I don’t get it. Why is he sticking a cross through his watch?

  15. Emperor, Leader of the Resistance, Tetragramaton Cleric. says:

    Who knew thyme tasted so good. :)

  16. I knew a girl once that had a legitimate problem with licking watches. Never eating though.

  17. Peg says:

    Thank you all – the comment thread had me rolling on the floor… they were more entertaining than the subject… I needed the laugh!

  18. Aja says:

    Is that you, mrgreen?

  19. 5 eagles "enigma" says:

    ♫If I could save time in a bottle, then I would spend it with youuu.♫

    • Brewski says:

      ♫ Timex consumed today!
      Young watches can go their way.
      Can’t put it off another day.
      I don’t care what others say.
      They say we don’t listen anyway.
      The Timex consumed today! ♫

  20. Jennyisbusy says:

    Where is Qwaz? He fixed my Timex yesterday?

  21. plop says:

    MARIMAN

  22. w00t says:

    This is so America… “Oh, we have to say that the watch is uneatable, or else someone will have the idea to sue us, just because we assume that people are not STUPID”

  23. Marissa says:

    But what if you wanted to watch what you eat?

  24. an elite says:

    Not just eating the watch, but also RTFP: no buttons pressed underwater?

  25. Cloral says:

    Damnit, failblog is eating my comments. Let me try that again:

    What I like is at some point an artist was tapped to create that warning image, and he or she did it without complaint. If someone had asked me to do it, I would’ve said, “Are you ******* insane?”

    • Bearly Awake says:

      Then you might have done it, laughing and making the guy look a little stoned…

      • Roadkill says:

        Yeah, perhaps he is very farsighted, is stoned, has the munchies and has mistaken the watch for a hot wing! (squint to blur picture to see my point)

  26. Erico says:

    Lol, it is true, here follows the original:

    http://homepage.mac.com/ggilliom/VersatileWords/timex.pdf

    • Cloral says:

      Considering that the ‘don’t eat the watch’ warning is the only one in the entire manual with a picture, I’m starting to think this was done as a deliberate joke.

  27. ah, watches, my main form of sustainance!

  28. mr. cuddles says:

    I`d rather just save time and eat a sandwich, or a moomin. *squeeze* I miss you guys like crazy! How is everyone?

  29. H3xx says:

    Someone had to have done it and sued for them to have put it on the box. Stupid people should not have access to lawyers.

  30. mr. cuddles says:

    I’ll meet you guys on the next fail. I don’t move as quickly as I used to and I can’t swap between the fails.

  31. why would they have to put that on a label are people that stuipd? if so we are doomed.

  32. buba® says:

    good to know.
    buba® usually eat a little piece of watches he owns, because he finds them tasty. this one is probably untasty.

  33. memememe says:

    the Timex slogan used to be “Takes a licking and keeps on ticking”, and one of their ads talked about how the watch was eaten by an animal and came back out still working. So probably people keep trying to eat the watches to see if it’s true.

  34. Upfo says:

    did he die?

  35. raadec says:

    there goes my dinner plans. i was going to have watch with a side helping of dish washer, and finish the evening with my Clio pudding.

  36. casey says:

    i actualy had one of these watches for scuba diving. i could not believe they had that in there

  37. Uh oh. says:

    Do not eat watch? Oh no… I’m in trouble…

  38. Bob says:

    OM NOM OM.

  39. Gageima says:

    But its lunch time!

  40. Bobby Joe says:

    I think he looks like he has the expression of a retarded person. (Duhhhhhhhhh…. me eat watch!!!)

  41. Twitch says:

    hello everybody I’d like to make my prescence know, I am Twitchthaclown. A wicked clown from BFE texas, nice to make you’re aquaintence.

  42. Matt says:

    Last!

  43. Quasi says:

    nomnomnom

  44. Lord Gallean says:

    Om nom nom nom

  45. Destinii Haruya says:

    Photoshop.

  46. B says:

    In his defense, the guy in that illustration looks really stoned. Probably just some extreme munchies.

  47. HBKM says:

    more like stupid people fail, they had to put that on there because someone tried to do that and they sued…

    • Watcher says:

      Nope! Nobody ever sued, that I’m aware of….

      I worked for Timex when this line came out. The Brand Manager had a wicked sense of humor and wanted to see if anyone ever read the directions. I got to proof-read the directions!!! TOO COOL!

      • Doofy says:

        No, I’m the president of Timex and I invented that watch and wrote all the directions. If you’re going to photochop it, at least try to use a font that is somewhat close to matching the rest of the directions.

  48. spiderpoman says:

    illustration must done by photoshop…… I guess, spiderpoman

  49. Roogie says:

    It’s a sensor of humor win. With all these retarded “Don’t do [...]” listing that are required I suppose they decided to throw some in that were totally retarded.

  50. Wes says:

    People who claim Youtube has the dumbest comments the internet has to offer should really swing by and see you guys. Of course, you and the Youtube mouth-breathers are probably the same actual sample of 12 year old boys, but I think you really shine in this context.

  51. Whatsername says:

    the saddest part is theat they had enough dumbasses do that that they had to put a warning.

  52. sup says:

    lmao this guy looks familiar

  53. ShadowTheSniper says:

    Eat the watch it tastes like a cheeseburger.

  54. stof says:

    CAN YOU SAY NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!

  55. AnimeFanatic says:

    BUT I’M SOOOO HUNGRY!!!!

  56. cameron says:

    hahahahah wow guys enough with all the clock puns :D

  57. dsprack says:

    This is such a fail that it’s practically a WIN!

  58. Ryan says:

    so… tempting… WILLPOWER!!

  59. Fortysix says:

    Hal Sparks will do anything for a laugh…

  60. Ha ha ha,,, that’s a nice one!

  61. jerry says:

    nom nom nom nom

  62. shaykel says:

    Watch me eat my watch

  63. Mr. Dumpling! says:

    every time i see a watch my first compulsion is to eat it.

  64. Mel says:

    How many times has this happened for them to have to put up a warning???!!!???


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