Parenting Fail
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That’s sad
yes that is =( and second!! lawl
Kids & drugs don’t mix, simples!
…..unless you use a blender of course.
did he die?
HELL NOdont click on his name
Duh. Mouseover on Safari says so. Noob.
Remember to only use the gifted ones though…
MARRIMMAN
LoL. It was meant to be . Who the hell smokes weed next to his baby -_-
it didn’t say he was SMOKING it just GROWING it.
P.S. Eminem’s new album was so shitty, he’s had to resort to doing pizza hut p’zone gimmicks to try and jump start his career again…..
Yes, that is because we all love Eminem and were all axiously awaiting his new album. Thanks for blowing it!
At least we have the commercials to look forward to!
No offense but WHAT THE HELL does the Eminem part have to do with anything?
eminem had a junkie parent… i see a slight hint of relevance!
Or he was a junkie parent…
acctually ive heard of an 17 year old in the eighties who gave her baby weed to get him high because they thougght it was funny
GRAMMAR FAIL!!!!
iz online me no needz ta speek gramer gud
Excuse me?
Excusez-moi ?
¿Excúseme?
Excuseer me?
Entschuldigen Sie mich?
Συγνώμη
Scusilo?
失礼か。
실례합니다?
Desculpe-me?
Извините меня?
(^^^= are you literally out of you mind?)
Italian fail.
Italian: Prego?
Spanish fail too…
It’s not spanish fail at all, but “¿Discúlpeme?” would sound better
+ russian fail ^^
taiwanese FAIL
why russian is fail?its not.its correct
german fail
and in greek there is 1 more ” y” in the middle
japanese fail
best lol ever
dont click there,guys thats a virus
whats even sadder is that this is a double fail because it says that the dad gave him toy keys instead of a phone and the baby dialed 911.
Ha it’s like karma, but real!
His karma ran over his dogma.
(alright, alright, I apologise, but someone had to say it!)
*snork*
a new testament to your wit DrB
Theist not wit’out smut either.
Imbibling libations is usually more my style
Deity potable drinks cabinet you can take everywhere. You should get one.
that will be interesting for that kid to explain why his dads in jail to his friends later on.
=Irony
word
up
town
house
party
in my pants
suit
case
closed
circuit
racing…
pigeons
hit
back
hand
job
less
filling
is more
Oops!
gaps
in my memory
R.I.P Kat.
Oh my god, they killed KatzV!
You BASTARDS!
*in Cartman voice*
♪ I hate you guys
You guys are assholes
Especially Kenny
I hate him the most ♪
Screw you guys I’m going home
work
out
Bitch
I bet if he had given him his car keys something equally as stupid would have happened!
Car keys? Of course. He probably got his driver’s licence from the same place that issued his partenting licence. What? Oh…okay, so we know where his parenthood came from.
HIS CAR GOT PREGNANT
It was exhausting.
…and gave the father the boot!
Did they do it in the backseat?
Can anyone partake in this partenting?
There should be a particular partition, prior to becoming a parturient part-time pot perveyor.
i’m wondering what that guy thought the kid would do with the phone. this was bond to happen. This or one long distance call that goes on for hours
Hehe, yes…or slobber. What a dope.
Bond to happen, is that a new 007 movie? You crack me up!
You always have a stash of quick replies!
Purlease- It isn’t like I am your heroin or anything!
Doobie or not doobie, that is the question.
Come on baby… don’t beer the reefer
Plz he was growing pot, i’m guessing he had some for himself too, and i’m pretty sure when you’re stoned you’re more worried aboutthe size of your hands than consequences.
Worried about the size of your hands? That’s acid not pot. The only thing a stoner worries about is running out of snacks.
Unless you’re new and you have to much. Then you can get paranoid.
(You should….because they are watching you… all the time.)
*swoops in and adds extra “o”*
Wow, you did that so effortlessly. I couldn’t tell you were stoned at all.
AAAAHHH! YOU’RE WATCHING ME TOO!
*Runs from room*
*fashions aluminum foil hat*
*taps Katz on the shoulder*
Why are you in the closet?
Because THEY are everywhere, Jimbo! Here have a hat.
*hands jimbo foil hat*
Ooooh, thank you. I’m already an alien though Katz, hence the blue suit and the flying.
Pfft! I’m not worried about aliens. I’m talking about the CIA!
So Jimbo- do you have to wear a kryptonite condom?
No, I’m allergic to Kryptonite remember? It gives me a horrible rash. I use the ultra-lambskin mega condoms. They ship from betelgeuse 4.
But do they stop the inevitable? I mean as a death- it would be a good one, but not high on my list of climaxes.
They aren’t so good at stopping death, but they work wonders on taxes.
*puff, puff, pass*
What are we all doing in the closet?
Clicky for more than you ever wanted to know about Superman Sex.
Hiding from the cops because our kids called 911.
Judy!!! I think I was going to pretend to be mad at you about something from a previous post but I forget what. So there
*takes a puff, passes it on*
*puff, puff*
This closet is huge…..
Dude, I could kill for a bag of Fritos right now.
*hands Katz a bag of taco Doritos and a can of cheez-whiz*
How about this?
*puffs and passes*
Merde! I think I accidenty the cops.
*puff, puff, pass*
shhhh, listen
*puts hand over eyes*
Can you hear that?
*crunch crunch*
Thanks Jimbo!
Hear what?
It’s the government man, they are crunching our freedoms. I can hear it. It’s getting louder.
Duude, it’s like, everything outside that door is in another world. Like, we’re in one world here, and that’s another world out there. Like, different dimensions or somethin’, whoa. I feel, I feel like we should be saving the people stuck in that dimension out there dude.
I’m not going out there, man. What if we’re just the dreams they’re dreaming right now? What if we don’t really exist? We wake them up and we could disappear forever! Forever, man! Game over!
Parenting fail? So, you’re not allowed to grow a bit of weed if you’ve got kids?
If it’s illegal, no you are not allowed to grow weed whether you have kids or not.
Eh, generally possession where I am is legal, and growing it isn’t something many people get prosecuted for.
It’s the difference between a civil offence and a criminal offence. Smokers are often offered to be let off.
In the UK its 1 street caution, then prosecution for users, but 1st offence jail term for intent to supply.
Thank god I now live in Germany! (near the dutch border in fact xD )
Is anything illegal in Holland?
Sadly enough, yes. Magic Mushrooms are no longer legal there
Siick where dya live?
The fail is that he let his child play with a phone. Messing with 911 is one of the most irresponsible and stupid things one can do. Such immature people shouldn’t be in care of human beings. The marijuana was just there to serve karma.
Karma is being a parent. End of story.
HA HA
but seriously congratulations to all parents who actually give a sh!t about their kid growing up to be a good person.
Das some gewd sh!t?
Yeah, pretty much.
At least the dad will be able to use his one phone call tomake sure the child is doing ok.
“ring ring”
“you little @*$!*£$!”
Did he die?
No.
No, him just sleeping
that means his mom is alone
…and high as a kite
hey duuuuuuuuude that clicky is excellent. I had no idea you could find that on the web. hahaha. You just made my day.
NSFW!!
*Puts her heart back in her chest* no clickie, no clickie…
*roffles*
got any *roffles* potato chips?
*Roffles* have ridges?
*Crunchity crunch*
mmmmm for my pleasure
*crunch, crunch, crunch*
Any dip around here?
Here is some!
*hands Jenny some mashed troll dip in sour cream with onion*
Extra chunky!
Ummm thanks. It’s a little bitter. Wait a minute? If we are what we eat… Judy, what are you trying to do to me????
Meh, I found some nicer dip.
Wha? Whoa, I change back though, right?
duuuuuuuuuuude, that is a seriously cool clicky.
*punches monkey*
apologies but there was actually a reason for that.
Did you just slap the monkey? :-O
No *looks sheepish*
I punched it…. I do have a reason, just not a very good one.
Oh…so you used your fist? Fist the monkey then?
I have no wish to ever do that!
I am a sworn enemy to the monkey race that is all.
Be careful! They might hear you and use gorilla warfare against you.
They have been gibbon their orders, kill or be killed!
No time to monkey around, prime(ape) your targets and fire!
My troops are being (man)drilled as we speak.
Just nailed one of their snipers. It was hiding in that bush, baby!
We’ll just have use agent orange(utan) against them!
Evol demun, hey?
*abondons Monkey references*
*summons cloud*
Fu*k
you reap what you sow! (lols)
He wishes.
Be careful what you wish for…..
Wish poster did you mean?
*runs in squeezes DrB, runs off again*
*chuckles at a squish from a dish*
It’s idiots like this that keep me happy… You always know that no matter how badly you eff up, someone’s done something three times as ironically stupid.
Like my friends grandmother. She grows pot in her suburban backyard. Whenever she hears the police come by, she runs out back and throws a blanket over the plants.
Marijuana grow operation…..do you think they may have missed an ing?
Nope. Grow operation (often shortened to grow op) is correct.
Not in my world!
You have your own world?!
I do! It is called Bjorn and is very fluffy and cuddly, within it I am a pirate ninja, and my english is perfect!
We all have our own little worlds. They’re special.
…and I am very special…my doctor says so!
engrish prefect!?
I am and I was, congratulations!
Happy 4th of July!!!!!!
OK same to you I guess! (in 2005 on this day I bogged off to Africa & left my crud life behind)
Happy Independence Day good folk over there!
Yes, I feel so independent. Liberated and free. Especially when I watch the propaganda. Uhh, I mean the news.
Freedom from us evil Brits huh! mmmmmm..
*thinks a moment*
Yes, exactly. This day, 233 years ago, we called the Brits pansies and told them to do something about it. About 8 years later (with a little French help, we won’t talk about that) we managed to back it up.
So, am I evil?
Never, just British, which completely explains it. It’s the French who are evil, everyone knows that.
Oh right OK
*note to self -never mention this to french friends!
i hate us americans… we f*cked up our country
That was a little jaded. Love this country, just not it’s politicians. *Turns off Fox news*
We fight like cats and dogs, which is why we don’t have an emperor yet. If we ever do start getting along we’ll be in trouble.
Ruff ruff!
Yes, happy 4th all!
Do these people not know that they invented noisy toys and TV to occupy children?
My nephew got a hold of my cell phone once and drooled all over it…yuck.
…and coffee was invented to occupy the adults so they don’t notice damp cells! *squeeze*
Exactly! *squeeze* How’s it going, K@?
I was writing an essay- then my mind rebelled- so I am taking a well earned rest where I don’t have to give a damn about stream morphology- and can just sit in my air conditioned office and chill out and take some ibruprofen to get rid of the annoying little poeple who have set up camp behind my eyes and started a drumming class!
soooo basically great, how are you diddling- looking forward to booms?
Don’t like the booms, but I think I’ve got a friend who will hang out with me tonight to watch the dog have a nervous breakdown. A few beers and a show I guess. Sorry to hear about the drumming class…atleast they don’t have tubas.
They have a car alarm though, why is it always Saturday that alarms go off in our car park……..no one here to turn them off, so they go on and on and on……………………………….and on.
Sounds like my kind of night- my hubby hates fireworks with a passion, since some bright spark set one off by throwing it at him! So rather than animal sitting I have hubby sitting- which I have to say is much more satisfying
Hee hee! Ya know what the best cure for a headache is, right? Ask the hubby when you get home!
Moral of this story: never grow marajuana. if you are, then chances are you’ll make a stupid mistake, someone finds out, and it’s off to jail.
I though the moral of the story was ‘never give your kids a cell phone.’
Maybe he gave him an old phone not realizing that they can still call for help with them.
Random placement, sure…but it brought a smile to my dial – you’ve dropped the glasses from your can! (now I’m a learned yam can fan O.o )
Happy 4th to all of you!
I certainly hope you have a better time then I will. My poor dog is terrified of fireworks. I’ll be feeding her puppy xanax tonight.
Why not just go to this guys house! am sure doggie would appreciate the chill!
I would, but there will be fireworks everywhere and his dog always tries to hump Monkey (my dog). She bit that dog 3 times the last visit and he just came back for more each time. Silly boy doesn’t take a hint!
Ah humping puppies not a chilled atmosphere then…I meant the fail guys house though!
Damn! Good idea! I got harvesting to do!
*Grabs water bong and dog*
*runs for the car*
I know someone who has given his dog valium when there were fireworks.
Worked like a charm apparently
I prefer what I call ‘preparation training’ for the three months leading up to 4th July, I sneak up on my dog holding either metal trash can lids, two planks of wood, symbols or a starting pistol. I get as close to ears as possibe and * BANG *, then I give him a treat. Works like a charm.
Do you get wet feet?
Hmmm… You should probably not have real animals as pets. How would you like a pet rock instead?
Ow. My ears hurt just thinking about it.
*Hope you are joking*
I had a pet rock, I tried to teach him how to swim.
*sniff*
kid – 1
dad – 0
lolz!!! really funny. that really is a FAIL moment. wow a baby calling 911.scaryz lol
Let me (Chimpan)zee what is going on out there
A little out of place?
err damn. sorry!
Hail, ye heroes, heav’n-born band,
Who fought and bled in freedom’s cause,
Who fought and bled in freedom’s cause,
And when the storm of war was gone
Enjoy’d the peace your valor won.
Let independence be our boast,
Ever mindful what it cost;
Ever grateful for the prize,
Let its altar reach the skies.
~Joseph Hopkinson: Hail, Columbia
*Squeezes to all*
I love you those of you who are from overseas (or Canada), but this bear hug is for those of us celebrating our Independence Day.
*BIG bear hug for my countrymen*
*bunny hugs* I’ll take that hug, Jimbo.
My country,’ tis of thee,
sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing;
land where my fathers died,
land of the pilgrims’ pride,
from every mountainside let freedom ring!
My native country, thee,
land of the noble free, thy name I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
thy woods and templed hills;
my heart with rapture thrills, like that above.
Let music swell the breeze,
and ring from all the trees sweet freedom’s song;
let mortal tongues awake;
let all that breathe partake;
let rocks their silence break, the sound prolong.
Our fathers’ God, to thee,
author of liberty, to thee we sing;
long may our land be bright
with freedom’s holy light;
protect us by thy might, great God, our King.
~Samuel Francis Smith
Good idea Marius.
Oh, say can you see
By the dawn’s early light
What so proudly we hail
through the twilight’s last gleaming
Whose broad stripes and bright stars
through the perilous fight
over ramparts we watched
it so gallantly streaming
And the rockets red glare
the bombs bursting in air
gave proof through the night
that our flag was still there
Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
o’er the land of the free
and the home of the brave
Kid just wanted to get rid of Dad because he’s always bogarting the fattie.
puff, puff, pass Dad…
Dad, come on it’s our turn…
Actually I would call that a toddler win
I noticed that someone is trying really hard with their grammar
I thought this bad text is a good example of why punctuation is important:
(858): in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake – I meant to say “I’ll f**k you stupid, baby” but of course I said “I’ll f**k your stupid baby”
Have you clicked my clickie Jenny?
I did… and got lost for about an hour, laughing my a$$ off! Thanks for the link!
Just doing what I can to brighten your day. You are welcome.
not that you knew, but – was a good birthday present! TY! I saw the one that Jenny posted and about fell off my chair!
Jimbo-Someone posted it a few days back and I was addicted at 1st glance. It does make a great clicky.
3heathens – Happy Birthday! Glad you were able to remain upright. I can’t afford to have your head put back together today.
Thanks Jenny – but, it’s only the beginning of the day: I may end up horizontal by tonight, you never know!
A friend of mine told me about it a few months ago. I’m pretty sure I’ve read the entire site by now.
*nods* I read about it here, and I’ve read all the entries, also. Sometimes they are funny but really sad. Occasionally I have to use Urban Dictionary to figure out what they are talking about.
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday 3heathens!
Pft. What a dumbass! XD
The kids probably smarter than the dad lol
^this
this is hilarious! what a sap.
Did he deathed?
NO! But he may have died…
Oh, okay. Thanks for clearing that up.
Christ.
Haha, I was just kidding.
Even That Kid Knows! Users are Losers!
Easy killer, failblog is no place for a nature v. nurture debate.
AMG LOOK BEHINDT U!!!!1
I’m not getting a child after I grow up.
I’m going to be immortal.
karma
Canada…what doesn’t happen up there?
That is such a win. But grow-ops in BC are like grey hairs. You pluck one and 3 more appear in its place.
OH THE IRONY!
Happy birthday America!!!!
Happy birthday who?
oooh SUCK IT.
I would love to see the rest of this article. Epic.
so look it up you tool.
you’re all fat and dumbasses XD
**pulls out gun and shoots delaware**
Ahaa;
He deserved it
I Live near by, and read about it in the paper.
I’m surprised you only just got this now. That news story was from six MONTHS ago.
Oh man…This is like, 20 mins away from me.
What a waste of good BC bud. *le sigh*
Note to Americans: The man will almost definitely not be going to jail. Canadian drug laws are not crazy, and don’t consider growing pot an equivalent crime to murder.
Note to canadians: I doubt anybody’s EVER said being a pothead is equivalent to being a murderer. And certainly nobody’s ever received the death penalty just for being a stoner, so that propganda attempt is moot.
Note to Whateverbuddy: Your potheads go to jail longer than our murderers, and you have more people in jail for possession than we have in our whole prison system. =)
…Kidlet win, too.
Canada i did not know they had pot
I didnt think that they dialed 911 in canada I thought it was different for every country
OWNEDDDD
Fluffeetalks on YouTube talked about this in one of his videos called, “Take My WEED!”
I’d call this a NEWBORN WIN instead of a parenting fail
I was about to say the same thing. *high fives*
haha, dad got owned by his own child xD
If anyone has seen FLuffee (on YouTube) he talked about this a while ago. He’s pretty hilarious, just look up “FLuffeeTalks”
someone already said that, didn’t they? I failed
I have lived in Canada for 7 years and have yet to see a Mountie.
Mabybe the launched a Joint-operation?
I was born on January 21st o.O
Aww that really sucks… I think i just cried a little. Poor guy… Wonder if the cops smoked a little of it lol…
White Rock is only 20 mins away from where I live!
FluffeeTalks talks about that in one of his videos^^
Check youtube.
“White Rock
Accidentally
Dial
Arrested”
XD
Win!!!
I heard this story from FLuffeeTalks in a youtube vid. lmao talk about horrid Karma
only in canada..
ok happy? i made the funny crack..pffft funny crack.
flufee talks
That’s more like a win for the kid.