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Cheezburger Network Blog
first FIRST
FIRST first FIRST
you know what? …never mind, just never mind
did he die?
wow, first it was first, now did he die? do you live under a bridge?
Be nice Halifax, he’s obviously seriously handicapped.
confusion says what?
What? You called my name…….
I say what is red and blue, and purple and green? No one can reach it, not even the queen?
I can sing a rainbow.
Do it it might make things for airy in here LOL
queens are about as close to the rainbow as you can get…
PHOTOSHOPPED!
baladouche
You’re fired!…because you blow
arent you just a skeptical steve
definitely not photoshopped. i know exactly where this place is and i know the guy who owns it. he would definitely write something like this and have no idea that it says what it does.
Yes halifax that makes you the better man.LOL
shut up me.
plooz. (:
You may be first, but I just saved a TONNE on my car insurance.
Nah, just kidden. I did, however, just finish getting through all the pages of fail.
We just can’t express how extremely proud of you we are!
…
Where’s the vomiting smiley again? :vomit:
You seem eager to put your mouth to a good use. First in line?
The first to first feels the fist first to first die upon the winters tail in the first month of the first year of the first decade since I’ve stopped doing mescaline. Congratulations, mayor!
Hey guys. This is another bot that is solely programmed on annoying lines. Please just let it kill itself.
A job for my mouth? I can’t blow that off!
It would suck not to get the job.
So easy even a teen can do it!
i was thinking more like so easy a gangsta can do it…wait, that’s their specialty anyways…
oh snap. hater alert.
I finally got my job problem licked.
Finally, a job you can sink your teeth into.
I heard they are gobbling up new recruits.
You should apply for a job there because you suck.
Are you chewing gum?
i think you misspelled the last word
Cheeky!
Careful Halifax, don’t blow the job with premature oration!
Making a living with your hobby, aint that a dream.
They’re looking for someone to do their bidding.
I’m sure they’ll find someone chomping at the bit for a job this inviting.
Many of their employees duck out for a break the moment they finish their assignments.
you guys are worse than Jimmy Fallon, but i love it!
Ms. B a proper woman like you should talk like that.LOL
Who accused me of being proper?
Let’s see… dances nekkid, loses her clothes at least once a week, drinks, swears… yup, you’re proper all right!
Hmmm, only once a week. I’m getting better at keeping my clothes on!
I think Lurk is underestimating just a teeny bit, but you know what? I have yet to hear complaints about your nudity – especially from the guys!
*gives Ms B props*
*examines Ms B*
Why?? She doesn’t look at all droopy to me!
No, but that pantomime just wasn’t cutting it!
Propellers don’t generate lift…
*eyes Dragon’s profile*
…wings do.
A little duct tape goes a long way…oh…um…
Not your duct tape of course!
*runsawayfast*
Fine, run away Ms B. Don’t let us hold you up.
not without props, anyway.
*fills out application*
When will the hiring take place?
*leans back*
About now?
Hahahaha! Aja… tsk!
*sigh*
Morning Betty! *squeeze* why the sigh?
She wishes she could go back in time to stop The Terminator from appearing!
The Terminator just keeps coming back and it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.
*mallowy custard squeeze*
Marshmallow, custard and sponge……very nearly something very very yummy there!
Hey Terminator! Nobody showed up so I guess the job is yours.
Come with me if you want to live.
Well, Hi!
*looks at application*
Mrs. B is it? Hmmmm…
Now then about this job
*zzzzzzip!*
As you can see, it’s a HUGE opportunity for you!
*offers Ms B a microscope to help*
Better make it an electron microscope, Zombie
Thanks guys!
I still don’t see it…
Burn LOL
*Hits Roadkill with a giant tuna*
The mackerel has taught you nothing.
*doubt the tuna will help either*
*might just have to call in the hoard*
giant tuna clicky – not funny unless you laugh at big dead fish
*these are people I halfway know*
It’s just a COFFEE CUP!!
a HUGE F*’ing COFFEE CUP!!
so QUIT HITTING ME!
*Hits roadkill*
*keeps hitting him*
*scrapes roadkill up*
*gives to hillbillies for dinner*
*UNEXPECTEDLY DIES*
*takes the bait*
*knows she is going to regret this*
*looks*
Well, I’ll be…It IS a huge F*’ing coffee cup! Now wait a minute, my flattened friend–why were you unzipping Ms B? You weren’t thinking of slipping this down her dress!!
Aack! Refresh fail! And he has slipped the surly bonds of work! *sheds a tear* Ah, well, he has gone to a much better place…
I was unzipping the nylon bag that the HUGE CUP is carried around in. If it isn’t hidden from view when not in use I get harassed by people asking to hold and touch it!
yeah, gotta follow suit. g’nite guys!
Okay, I’m back from the vet’s office. Where were we? Oh, yeah: Can I hold it? Can I touch it? Hello? Hey…where’d everybody go?
whoa this comment page is empty
Brand new fails have that appearance. Give a few minutes. We will soon crush you…
and fill your drams with horror
*insert evil laugh*
Drams of whisky?
Drams of gunpowder?
I don’t think I could possibly fit anything else in my drams. I had a pretty big dinner.
i dramt that John Flansburgh came to my house and signed my laundry machine. aww drammit i spilled my coffee…
I was wondering if you were a giant, and now I know
… with a side of horror. Don’t you read good?
Mmmm… crunchy credit.
beats my soggy debit.
Yes! I can actually see my comment!
Hmmm. Have you been blind prior to now?
OH! so I see he found the power button to his monitor. That’s a tricky one.
*Slaps Skippy on the forehead*
You are healed!
*slaps Marius*
*daughter-of-unwed-parents-slaps Fi*
Fi. . . the name fits.
Fo shure.
fo shiznitz
For reals now?
If you fum him, be he dead?
I knew you’d get it.
*smooooch!*
There is so very little about you I don’t get.
*Lears*
You’re getting skinny as a bean.
SMOOOOCH!
What is the fee to get this done?
Call in the next 10 minutes to get this special offer for only $19.99!! That's right! An $80 value for only $19.99!!*grabs syrup*
Woo hoo! Waffles!
you must of not heard of the maple syrup urine disease
I haven’t heard of that either, but the sound of it just screams “ignorance is bliss” to me.
I am with you on this one Zomboman.
it only affects amish people for some reason…
wait, amish man + canadian woman = job opening at baladoche
Old fail
http://failblog dot org/2008/10/31/graphic-design-fail/
Halifax just made me die a little inside…
it really exists
I was talking about your grammar.
*cries*
*Dares not go close*
Zing.
Oh, sorry. I usually just don’t check my grammar when I post, just because I am lazy and all and have to do it while writing official papers.
She is an English professor. She said some quote to me a while ago, something along the lines that she believes words are like (something precious and should not just be tossed around in any old fashion) . Um I don’t remember.
So, do you think we’re not worth the effort for you to write properly?
In case you’re too lazy to find the error, you used “of” where you should have used “have”. This is one of DW’s top pet peeves and an error I hope to never commit.
If you ever do, I’ll know the Apocalypse is truly on its way.
*smooch*
Mine is the you and me thingy. They’ll say “It makes you sad.” What they mean is “It makes me sad.” Grrr.
You see it all the time…
What kind of philistine would do a thing like that?
*squeezes and flees*
For me, it’s “had went,”"had ran,” etc. Also, apostrophes for possessive pronouns and plurals. Also, “me and her” went to the store. All of the above are like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Sentence fragments? Meh, not so much.
Well, if you care that much about grammar, I’ll try my best to keep me sentences correct then.
For me it is my constant errors. Seeing them posted on the internet for all time. *Sigh* I don’t know if I have improved, a third party will have to judge that.
Welcome, Halifax. Your efforts will be appreciated. I’m taking your last sentence as humo(u)r, and it serves as a good example why attention to detail is important.
It’s not so much we care about grammar for its own sake…we care about communicating effectively with those that take the time to read our comments. We engage in a lot of subtle and clever wordplay on this blog, and when punctuation and grammar appears odd it’s often intentional. Such clues tip off the reader to scrutinize the comment for cleverness, wit, and humo(u)r. People that post comments with sloppy grammar tend to be ignored, because nobody wants to peruse a comment and find less instead of more.
I’ve known about the wordplay for a long time. I just never posted much until recently.
I don’t know where you get your breakfast at, but that sign promised me Belgian thicker waffles and I want them….with strawberries and whip cream.
I got a visual on that KatVonD with the (h)whipped cream and strawberries.
thicker! That’s the word I can’t read!
.
*isn’t sure about it, but trusts KVD anyway*
It’s zücker, apparently (baladoche.com).
So … you’re saying KVD lied to me?
Hey ZA! In rsponse to yesterday, I was not being sarcastic. I think Among the Living is Anthrax’s best album. One of my top three of that genre of music.
I wouldn’t put it that way.
She got confused by the umlaut I guess.
Wasn’t intentional, ZA! Umlauts always confuse me.
Umlaut was that? I don’t think I heard yöü.
Not sure yet how to make clickys but you have to see this one it is kinda of related to todays fail. 5secondfilms.com/watch/the_used_car
Just paste the link in the “Website” field and add water. Instant clickie.
5, how does a used car built on an indian burial ground “relate” to today’s fail? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
*fills up HUGE coffee cup once more*
A used car salesman uses his mouth for employment. Yes?
Testing ya wanna buy a car.
no
Why?
This sounds dirty.
You are a quick one.
Dirty? NO!
*zzzzzzzzip!*
*points at something HUGE* >>>> THIS is DIRTY!
whats so dirty about about that truck over there?
Maybe it hasn’t been washed recently?
*REFUSES to look – doesn’t care*
Well, it has been extra rainy this spring. Maybe the owners were just waiting for a few sunny days in a row before washing it.
SORRY, i used it to wipe my butt, i'm all outs of trolls!I can get more.
Really, Boggy? *Starts going through this fail with a shopping cart*
Now, do you prefer brain-dead or brainless?
Not matters ’bout they brains, BOGGY all ways twisted they heads off an feed ‘em to them hungry Bog Piranhas! Then BOGGY hang they on the line to dry.
Note: after them Bog Piranhas am thru, BOGGY collect sparklely clean troll skulls from bottom of Bog and sell thems to Satin Wershippers! It a nice Profit Center for FailBLOG says Skwerlly.
*figured Satan worshipers would offer more, but never understood the living*
I worship Satin!
So smooth to the touch…
*Regains composure*
*Ahem*
I mean… Um… I eat NAILS! ‘Coz that’s what MEN do!
I prefer silk.
Hahahahaha.
I miss the aeroplane eaters
You are to fat, green and smelly to catch trolls!
i think we found one for u Boggy!
WHERE???
Dontcha just love these links that go nowhere?
If you’re going to include links in your text, at least make them go somewhere!
Angelplume you are the missing link
You are missing the AngelPlume link.
Sorry Boggy, my fault. The hoard has been rather efficient lately.
NOT THAT GOOD
*RIGL*
haha, lmao *clicks 5*
Open widee…
Ok
The big shiny one. What you got?
Anyone else annoyed by the random pundit kitchen pictures showing up on the vote page, or the ichcs under the fails?
Nope, it’s just you. Get professional help.
only the nameless annoy me.
Work’s over! Have a great weekend everyone!*squeezes all around*
*squeeze*
Have a Fantabulous weekend!
Have yourself a great weekend too KVD!
Stay well Katz
Be Safe!
lolol
Laugh out loud out loud.
I do not understand?
Serious?
*Slaps self*
What were you thinking?
I think I had an out-of-mind experience.
Marius, are you still in your bunk?
*Snickers*
Sorry, I’m having trouble concentrating.
You’re obviously beside yourself.
and doubled over.
*Doubles down*
Should I invest in a bunk bed?
I’d go with evil twin beds.
Don’t skimp on the linens, either. Try some high quality Satan sheets? Very romantic.
Oh yeah. Hey, Marius. Can I have my bunk back?
Actually.
Keep it, I don’t even use it.
Just to be sure, that ^ is not me.
We kinda figured.
*squeeze*
I was worried that my reply made it appear I was trying to jerk around with my fellow blogers. Not my style.
*Squeeze*
We know you would not succumb to such tactics.
It never even crossed my mind, Marius.
*squeeze*
Thank you for your trust.
P.S. SQUEEZE the lot of ya!
*squeeze back ol’ buddy*
How did you change your picture but still have this one show up?
Avatars are linked to the email address, not the name.
So the first one was an imposter.
*points at fake Marius*
*takes points back away from fake Marius*
Anpu’s mouth is self-employed, thank you very much.
hahahahaha! i’m sure it is! can you swallow your tail and turn into a wheel?
looks like bunny ranch is hiring ……
Oh yes, I’ve seen this sign personally. This place is called Baladoche, located in Chicago, IL and prolly has the worst management and the owner is a big time douche.
Why do you hate waffles?
Joe, I’ve seen it too. On Clark, just north of Diversy if I remember right. Are the waffles any good?
What is this?
This. Is. FAILBLOG!!!!
I AM FAILBLOG.
Dot org!!
*Waves toward gulf, wonders if you are still out there somewhere.*
*theme music plays*
Now entering the studio are today’s contestants.
*contestants enter, trip on motes of dust, land facefirst on red carpet*
*Tape rolls out of their hands*
*cymbals crash*
*onlookers cringe, check to see if they’ve been smoted*
*Applause sign lights, the crowd emotes*
Job could do with a bit of cheering up.
Why so down in the mouth?
*hands Aja an amuse bouche*
*smooches the Admiral*
*enjoys refreshing, lip smacking palate cleanser*
*smooches back most eagerly*
goose down?
and comes up?
I was gonna embed it, but that’s disable for some reason on this vid.
Clickie! Clickie!
WHOOOOOAAA MAMA!
*whispers*
The Simpsons Sing the Blues was the first CD I ever bought.
It appears to be a specialty food store.
If you have to pay to get the ‘job’ it’s a business opportunity, not a job.
Find your calling with us.
Call of the wild?
*Sheepishly adds e ^*
You go to the washroom in Starbucks for THREE minutes, and your laptop gets stolen. Thank god for lo Lo-Jack (Explaining my recent absence from Failblog)
Ignore the extra Lo.
Wait a second, let me see if I got this straight. You left your laptop unattended for over 3 minutes in a public coffee house with random strangers all around and you expected it to still be there when you returned?
Nah. It was locked up and everything.
Whats Lo Jack, and did you buy a coffee for using their washroom lol?
I was in a Starbucks coffee today and picked up a laptop for the lo-lo price of…
You wouldn’t even need 5 fingers for that discount. With 3+ minutes, you could just use your fists like a pair of tongs. Easy, squeezy, flysoeasy.
I logged into FailBlog and typed that comment, finished my coffee, finished listening to the Jack Johnson song they were playing, finished my croissant, went to the potty and whizzed, pet a cute dog, and then I took the computer.
Yow. That was either the longest whiz or the biggest dog ever ‘coz that was awhile ago
By the way, Howdy all peeps still around in the FB Doldrum hours
It get lonely here later in the day…
*sigh*
Hello hello helllo hellllllooooo the echo is great right now
What time is it?
Hammertime.
Naw, I’d rather do the Bartman (forgot to remove my Clickie! Clickie!)
I bet they would swallow the competition
BREAKING NEWS: SARAH PALIN TO RESIGN AT END OF MONTH.
.
Clickie.
She’ll be looking for a new job! I know she’s got a mouth. Hmmm I wonder…
She could do that job, youbetcha!
Is failblog being invaded by Lolcats? I keep seeing all these stupid pictures like “Cute kitteh is cute”. It’s very disturbing.
i think its cutteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (turns head all the way around and laughs disturbingly)
No, they’re kyoot.
…
erm, sorry about that.
Yes, we have been “invaded”.
No, you haven’t seen any stupid pictures …
… I can’t even figure out what that means.
No, it’s not disturbing. Not at all.
Don’t be so alarmist – why fear a little
puskitty?.
*bets you’re gay*
Zonmie!!! Jumps is not gay – he is too disturbed for that. I am thinking he is non-sexual.
Actually, I was going for a bit of a Holy Grail reference …
Sorry, those all go over my head. Sorry I butchered your name – those letters all sound the same to my fingers
*hamgs head low*
Where can i apply?
192nd!!!!!!!!
I get it!
*smiles proud*
Proudly. That one’s my pet peeve.
And I’m sure everyone is happy for you (not).
*pets AngelPlume’s peeve*
My pet peeve got piqued on this fail, too.
I fart in your general directionly
Would that be the wind conditions in the Pacific Northwest? We’ll go to break while you deal with your irritable bowel.
I know that place! Their waffles are so delicious. Kinda pricey, but worth it.
Fun thing in the clickie! Safe for work.
WOW!!! An ear shiny!! Thanks, Neener! *squeeze!*
*zones out playing with new toy*
So you think me making musical compositions on a toy like this would qualify as “approved work activities”?
*hopes you’re right*
tell ‘them’ you are working on a new jingle for the new sales thing you have been working on.
*hint-there is always a new sales thing*
Hmmm, they did say something about finding a new viral ad.
See, you are just doing some research. You will be Zombie of the month in July – I just know it.
I think the NSFW ones are the offensive kind. Nudity, profanity, generally gross and disgusting, etc. Different places have different rules. Where I “work”, pretty much anything goes. No porn during business hours covers it.
It says I need a new flash player – any tips on a good one?
There’s more than one?
Ummm. Go to Adobe(dot)com. They have the best one there. It’s really head and shoulders above the rest. Maybe it’s because Flash is one of their products and all….
a blow job maybe?
Yes!
ding ding ding ding ding ding ding!
*blows*
Don’t blow it during the oral training exam. That would suck.
I didn’t think it was physically possible, but that comment both sucks and blows.
*see visions of raspberries inappropriately applied*
What a load.
Doing some laundry now eh?
I like how you hung out that load.
better than welfare but not as good as sex.
dont not why…but in the first readed i read
we give it a job…blowjob!! XD
I swear there where more comments here a(h)while ago!
It is great to see people so chummy. I am glad I was able to be a part of this great community.
Don’t know if this is a more of a pundit kitchen question. But is it wrong to enjoy living in a mathematical provable world/reality?
Yes. Yes it is. Those flying division signs scare me… They’re coming for me! AHHHH!!!! *gets taken away by Division signs*
It would not be wrong, if this was a mathematically provable reality. As it is, too much is simply unquantifiable and mathematically illogical, while much of the rest has the glad state of being beyond provability using mathematics at this juncture.
*Yawn…* Good evening.
Are you trying to extrapolate for the existence of “faith” in thing and random phenomena? Since the Gaussian random distribution can account for many of the occurrences in our everyday lives. Math can describe wayyy to much of our perceivable world to be taken lightly. I am not saying it is the end all and be all but it is very pure and sometime immutable in its proofs. I daresay this is a mathematically provable reality. We are simply missing the equation or variables necessarily to decode the hidden and elusive. Somewhere there is unaccounted for energy that we can’t describe but we use blind faith and sometimes leaps of faith to describe. You can use math to describe so many patterns in life, down to how a parking lot will fill up. It seems more than just correlation, there must be some miniscule amount of provable causation. Like we park in this manner as it is closest mathematically to where we want to shop and is most flexible in regards to its exit strategy.
Ah, no. I am not saying that there are “mystical variables” that confound the provability of our reality as such… I am simply saying that there are too many unknown (as yet) variables that prevent the provability of everything in our reality as this particular time. Concepts such as “love” and “free will” and “impulse” will certainly be simplified down to a mathematical equation eventually (and many of us will weep to see such a world when it does happen, for all “humanity” that makes us the species we are will have been stripped from us and rendered a smattering of equations on a page), but right now, such things can be considered random unknowns that prevent a full mathematical accounting of our perceived reality.
There is also the question of the ability to perceive our reality, and it’s current limitations which prevent quantification of said reality.
Ya we perceive it through a predetermined looking glass you are correct. One means of quantifying all that we see is by using/employing mathematics.
I think those things you mention could be determined but will end up as definitions but in the irrational plane thankfully, meaning will still can rest in that it is a number but not a rational one. Holding that emotions aren’t always rational. I don’t know if this is all caused by an influx of me watching Numbers alot but I love it. I find that there is so much more I can explore in situations if I also consider the mathematical probable solution. Maybe alter it to my own situation, but it still can provide a model for what one would consider a “happy lifestyle”.
Guess it boils down to what reality we accept.
How’s it going?
Sorry I just enjoy debating and well this debate can go on forever. I just like to evaluate it objectively so that the main points can be put out there. Though I had to point out the strong assumption we were making; that everyone accepts our current reality as the reality.
I am doing ok, tired and soon to hit the haystack as I work at 7 tomorrow and it is 1 am now. How about you?
Awake. Stuck at work. It’s only 10pm here. One more hour to go. Despising customers. They’re all morons.
Although one of them smells like pie. Apple pie… Mmmm… Carb cravings…
Resist, you must resist. Think about the receiving. How you will receive the pie that is.
I intend to receive the pie in the face. Full on in the mouth region. It could get messy.
Use hands if need be.
It was a tough call, in the end, whether it was worth the effort to acquire pie, or simply eat the customer who smelled of pie. Equally messy, but the latter had a certain cannabalistic appeal, as well as being less costly in the immediate future. However, as I began to take body disposal costs into account and weighed them against the probability of a bakery being open at eleven o’clock at night, it became clear to me that I should just go grab some Chunks Ahoy cookies from the back room, and forget the pie idea entirely.
The customer, contrary to popular belief is not always right. As a matter of fact, they are rarely right. Even though we “live to serve”. Sometimes it seems when they come into the Home Depot they expect me to do their shopping for them.
At my workplace we have developed the common saying that “The customer is always wrong… And usually an idiot.” I hate customers who want me to shop for them. Like I’m supposed to choose their dildo for them, or tell them which lubricant to want. Idiots! The lot of them!
Got a saying from a guy in plumbing. “The three things you got to know when working here, especially in plumbing: Sh!t flows down stream, Payday is every other Friday and every a**hole is a potential customer.
And in retail, the same applies with the following alteration: Every customer is a potential a**hole.
EMP or(ELRof T) Mathematics has its place in life example building large structures. But all else I think we need to draw on nature to get guidance from. You can’t draw math from everything because some things are not non conformist to numbers. Science wants to explain everything but science itself.
Really? You want to draw on nature? I am not questioning your beliefs, just want you to provide a little more proof. Like how do we draw on nature? Science/ math can predict alot of what we believe to be random, as weird as it sounds there are equations that can describe the existence of abstract objects and situations.
“Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.”
~Albert Einstein
Ok, but in the end emotions and reactions to stuff have been quantified before. Even if the testimony were ratings out of ten or such. Going back to utilitarianism you can decide how many dollars an action incurred or how many hedons it allowed. Then make a moral choice based on the results.
How many meanings can the word “count” have?
One ha-ha-ha
Two ha-ha-ha
. . . .
You get the idea.
*grins*
That was kinda my point.
*squeezes Count Moomin*
You guys are so hedonistic.
That’s the only sense I can make of this…unless Emp is referencing a small town in Yorkshire, England.
*squeezes the Moomin like it counts*
I’m not too good at obscure references. Um what town might this be? This little “revelation” of mine has been an ongoing struggle within me. Is it a problem to over rationalize things or is it ok to pass off all unexplainable things to supernatural/ faith? I like to consider myself a scientific christian, but I find the morals of the two a bit conflicting. Watching Numbers has not helped at all since those connections that I saw, the patterns well, they were reinforced. I know humans can be predictable, but the whole concept of free will being thrown out the window doesn’t sit well.
Do we have free will or are we doomed to habits?
Is it necessary to quantify everything? Does everything require classification? Cannot some things be mysterious? Must everything be logical?
Over rationalization can become more of a hinderance than a help. Especially if attempting to do so to emotions or behavior. Some things really do defy logic or classification.
You’ve got it nailed Avis.
There was no obscure reference. I was merely making the comment that “hedons” is not a word, though Hedon is a small town in Yorkshire, and therefore I had no idea what the hell you were talking about. As for your other question, since “habit” is by no means the opposite of “free will”, your question makes little sense to me. Why must it be one or the other? My answer is that the two are not related, therefore it mustn’t.
And Avis, I would not say that some things defy logic or classification. I would instead say that some things defy our ability to understand and apply logic and classifications. I honestly believe that everything has an explanation. We just don’t necessarily know what it might be…so, just as the ancient Greeks imagined a fiery chariot pulled by a god, so do we (well, some of us) imagine magic and fairy tales to explain what we cannot otherwise explain. That’s the way humans have always done it.
There was no obscure reference. I was merely making the comment that “hedons” is not a word, though Hedon is a small town in Yorkshire, and therefore I had no idea what the hell you were talking about. As for your other question, since “habit” is by no means the opposite of “free will”, your question makes little sense to me. Why must it be one or the other? My answer is that the two are not related, therefore it mustn’t.
And Avis, I would not say that some things defy logic or classification. I would instead say that some things defy our ability to understand and apply logic and classifications. I honestly believe that everything has an explanation. We just don’t necessarily know what it might be…so, just as the ancient Greeks !magined a fiery chariot pulled by a god, so do we (well, some of us) !magine magic and fairy tales to explain what we cannot otherwise explain. That’s the way humans have always done it.
(Apologies for the eventual double post…I used the “i” word!)
A question Dragon: How would we know if something really did “defy logic and classification” or “…that some things defy our ability to understand and apply logic and classifications…”? What would the litmus test be? If there is no test then we are back to things being a matter of faith again.
Even science requires a little bit of trust/faith. You have to trust that the scientists involved did the experiment, math, etc. correctly. You have to trust that they are presenting the material in an unbiased matter…
Of course it’s faith. I don’t actually have the answers, and I’d never be so arrogant as to say that I do. I just know what I do believe and what I don’t believe.
My personal belief, however, is that there is a rational explanation for everything, but that we are not sophisticated enough organisms yet to grasp or understand all these explanations. “Faith” does not mean “believing something just because I want to” to me. People who deny demonstrative fact because it doesn’t jive with what they want to believe are not rational.
When humans gained the ability to understand what the sun actual is, the belief in the fiery chariot died away into myth. As we gain the ability to understand the universe, our knowledge and perception keeps growing. I just happen to think that the “giant ball of gas” explanations are a LOT more likely than the “chariot pulled by a god” explanations. Those are the explanations that I have faith exist, even if I don’t understand them yet.
Personally I hope that mankind never knows it all. The arrogance of such a state would be too much to handle.
*hug*
Rest assured, my wily friend, there is little danger of that happening!
I didn’t say that I wasn’t close to being there.
Pffft….! You are one of the least arrogant people I’ve ever known.
And you didn’t say that you were, either. :p
I still like to think that if it (our livable universe) did start with a fiery ball of gas that it was lit by someone.
Hee! Your wording kinda proves my point there, Jenny. Just because I might like to believe something doesn’t mean I actually think it’s true.
However, I do understand that I’m in the vast minority on the planet on this point, and you are very much in the majority. I’m very much of the viewpoint that people with differing beliefs can be respectful and understanding of each other.
I also take it as axiomatic that there is a rational explanation for everything. When it comes to the chemical and electrical human brain, however, we have the profound feedback and reconfiguring mechanism of consciousness. At some point science will have to determine if consciousness is more than the “run-time state” of the underlying chemical and electrical brain. Philosophically, for me it is mostly irrelevant, because what I choose to do and believe is as much influenced by the company I keep as it is by my own musings. That’s why I like coming here.
Admiral; if my old high school philosophy teacher heard you say “Philosophically, for me it is mostly irrelevant…”, he would have had another heart attack. But I agree with you. We are largely formed by the company that we keep. I have changed since first coming to this site.
Unless, of course, there is no free will. Then all is laid out.
Okay…that’s a good point. I try not to use absolutes in my thinking (terms such as “everything”, “nothing”, “always”…) because it only takes one piece of evidence to knock down the whole argument. So I’ll temper my previous statement to “most things”. After all, the universe is full of surprises.
*joins the “good company” party*
After all, “The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts.” ~ William Lyon Phelps
Sorry about the lateness dragon, I was making a metaphysical reference. Well more of a utilitarian one. Hedons were the opposite of dolors (Dolor may refer to:
* Pain
* The unit of measurement in utilitarism, see Felicific calculus#Hedons and dolors) That is where I took the words from. I hope that this definition is enough to prove its existence in the definition I used it in. (I am most often a literary failure after all).
Jenny, you can test other scientists findings to prove or disprove what they did. Faith, emotions, they aren’t affirmable or deniable.
Also, I don’t understand why people cling so desperately to their own opinions, even on trivial matters. I love to be enlightened by another’s point of view, be it trusted friend, author, or other sage communication.
Admiral, if you held something to be true for most of your life. Be it some sort of belief, and it gets debunked. Well would you not have a hard time letting go of the subject you held dear?
Ah-hah! So I was right…that is where hedonistic comes from. So when you said “dollars” you meant “dolors”? That would have made a lot more sense.
Thanks for the clarification.
Addendum to Emp:
Many, many, many things that I have believed to be true in my life have been debunked. My reaction is usually excitement that I get to learn something new, not to cling to something that no longer has any verisimilitude.
This is the difference between being willing to learn and…not.
There are huge chasms between what I have been taught, what I have lived, and what I (would) like to believe in. One is christian based, one is like a TV drama, the other is mostly fluffy bunny dreams.
Really when it comes down to it the only thing I can stand up and yell passionately is “I don’t know much!”
Oh, much of the same reaction on my part as well. But lets say the age old getting told or finding out Santa was not real. (sorry bff if you read this) To me the excitement of learning the truth is suppressed by the crushing blow delivered to me knowing I was lied to. Lied to for my enjoyment and benefit maybe but if you preach lying of all types is wrong then do not do that. (Side note: I am hereby announcing that I will be a hypocrite and tell my children not to lie and tell them Santa exists.)
Emp,
Sure science can be retested but for the majority of people they are just going by what they have been taught. For example: Can you prove that gravity is a force that is centered in a planet that pulls items with mass towards it’s center?
Are you sure that gravity is not a force produced by the atmosphere that is actually pushing items of mass away from it?
But that’s not at all what the Admiral was talking about. He was talking about people who stubbornly cling to their own ideas or opinions DESPITE there being known alternatives out there. Everyone has been lied to…we can all relate to that (though my parents never asked us to believe that Santa was real).
It’s very different to refuse to budge on a belief, idea, or opinion, or to even consider adopting a different point of view. The “not always right, but never in doubt” attitude.
There is a quote; from whom, I have no idea; that hangs over my desk. It reads, “If you desire the truth then you must also have the courage to accept it.”
Coyote…I love it. Absolutely love it.
@ Emp: What Dragon said both times.
It’s exhilarating to learn and grow.
When I conduct my own experiments in life (I love to observe and test things first-hand dontcha know) I try hard not to have a preference for one outcome over another.
Sorry Dragon I wanted to keep it away from the religious debate. I thought that was where you were headed. Sorry for the misunderstanding Admiral. You know how people stubbornly believe in the higher power but when a “miracle” is explained they refute that evidence. There is some sort of optimism that can explain it. Biased or something. Analogy used is when you throw 100 darts and one hits a bulls-eye, you refute the misses and focus on the hit.
Admiral: That was one of the things that I particularly loved about teaching preschoolers. When we did experiments they had no idea what would happen. They just wanted to see something happen. They would then then want to see it happen again and again. But that is beside the point.
I frequently tell people ‘do not to ask questions you don’t want the answer’ to.’
Gee honey do you think that beautiful blond with the giants boobs is pretty? DUH
Coyote’s quote reminds me of that.
“You know” Sorry being presumptuous again…
Coyote: Whereas many college students think they have all the answers, and are often so closed-minded that they refuse to acknowledge any opinion other than their own.
I always love it when I get someone in my class who can actually say, “Wow! That changed the way I think about something!!”, whether it was something that I taught them or something they learned from a classmate or whatnot. Love it, love it, love it.
Well dragon, I don’t know if this will make you half as proud, but when you and I first argued, back when I made my disgraceful entrance, well you changed something. I considered this a place just to relax and let go. Sentence structure, spelling and grammar, I did not care for the lot of them. When you made the quote, which I now wish I possessed the right neurons firing at that point in time to save it, made me change. Made me realize that I am accountable for what I put out there, and that words are not meant to just throw around but to be put together is as best a way possible for us. I am only sorry that I still suck in grammar. Corrections are always appreciated.
*Bows and shakes hand rather excitedly*
Not to call myself a horse but if only you could make me drink in more knowledge….
Dragon has made many memorable statements on the value of words. Was this the memorable quote you couldn’t remember?
“I see words as the currency of our lives. If we spend them wisely we get a good return on our investment. If we are wasteful and spend them on empty ideas and ash, we get nothing. Words are not the cover…they are very much a part of who we are.”
Thrown around. *sigh*
Yup it is, thank you Admiral. I have no doubt that she has made many great quotes on the value of words, that one, then one you provided was presented to me. Since I was being an asshat. Thanks for finding it.
the one you provided*** *sigh* again.
It was memorable enough for me to know what words to search on.
That’s a good one Admiral. I just added it to my Thought of the Day collection.
Sorry Dragon. No royalties are going to be paid.
Oh, but you just did.
A thought. If free will does not exist then everything we will do is set forever. If everything is set then good and evil do not exist.
“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances…”
As for your, “I know humans can be predictable…”, I knew you were going to say that.
I used to ask people about what I have dubbed the ‘prayer time continuum.’ If God already knows everything that is going to happen to us, and only answers that he deems necessary, than why would I spend time praying?
The best answer I have ever got was simply because the bible tells us we should.
Jenny, my family will tell you that prayer (among other things) is away to honor and praise God. And that if you are truly faithfull, you will want to do so, and not feel obliged to do so.
That being said, my family is bat sh!t crazy, so take that as you will.
Interesting disclaimer Avis.
They take religion to a whole new level. They think there is no room for doubt. Despite the stories on that very topic in the book they so revere.
I love them, I really do. I just don’t always like them very much. About the only things we have in common are a few genetic traits. But I do love them.
I feel that God is taking a bathroom break while we continue to exist.
I hope that we have free will, otherwise it just all seems pointless, but I would like to passionately believe in something.
My great grandfather and grandmother were missionaries for the Church of Christ. Traveled all over the world (Great Grandma eventually got tired of it and went to Canada with the kids). For them there was only one religion. This was past on to some of their offspring, my grandfather included.
When mom and dad married the church would send around people to berate my mom, a Presbyterian, into giving up her heathen ways. She never did tell dad. He would have flipped.
As a result I have issues with many religions. The more news I hear the more issues I have.
I always thought it was interesting how each sect of religion feels that they are the only righteous ones. Even the biggest religions in the world are small in comparison to who is getting left behind, or in hell, or whatever they claim is happening to the others. Wouldn’t that be a God fail to lose that many people?
*I ask this respectfully*
I don’t mean so much that we are deterministic. Either that or I was destined to respond here, hmmm? I would like to point out that with this concept of free will available to us, why oh why do we fall into patterns. Explainable patterns, it sickens me sometimes a race(species actually) capable of so much restricts itself on a daily basis to a routine that is comfortable. Which because of our studies of animals is because people like most of the animal kingdom are polr. They take the Path Of Least Resistance. Running from predators, not arguing with a person in the wrong because of their size. etc.
Ya my bad habit of generalizing has resurfaced. *slams hand with a ^^ hammer*
Arrows of significance above. Just a little *hee*
You are correct, I should have said I or most people in general. For me it actually is dependent on the car I get left.
If I have the Cutlass Supreme well, it overheats on the highways and so I must take the back routes to work. The other cars can handle the highway.
I too get accused of taking the scenic routes, but I am still a relatively new driver (4 years only) so even though I would like to say I take new routes. I am actually trying to map out routes so I have alternates when the traffic gets ridiculous.
Also, are habits and free will mutually exclusive?
Habit implies that you once had a choice of doing something or not. You did it and continued to do it, eventually without thinking about it.
So, in my opinion, they are mutually exclusive.
Habits can be broken. Or you can choose not to break them.
SOME!!! SOME habits can be broken!!
*ahem*
I am not taking a stand one way or the other on whether free will exists or not. No way to prove it.
If free will does not exist then one can not break a habit since one has no more choice in the matter than the actors on a DVD. Play, rewind, play, rewind, etc.
I would like to think we have free will, just are lazy to always use it. Think about how you get to work, often the same route you always take.
I think you meant to say, “I” rather than “you” in that sentence. Or if you didn’t, that’s rather presumptuous of you.
Many years ago, I adopted a “New Road” policy. Whenever I can, I take a different path to a familiar destination.
Don’t assume things about others that actually pertain to yourself. Your assumptions can get you in a lot of trouble.
Nest fail.
Restating…
Ya my bad habit of generalizing has resurfaced. *slams hand with a ^^ hammer*
Arrows of significance above. Just a little *hee*
You are correct, I should have said I or most people in general. For me it actually is dependent on the car I get left.
If I have the Cutlass Supreme well, it overheats on the highways and so I must take the back routes to work. The other cars can handle the highway.
I too get accused of taking the scenic routes, but I am still a relatively new driver (4 years only) so even though I would like to say I take new routes. I am actually trying to map out routes so I have alternates when the traffic gets ridiculous.
I have a narrow choice of commute routes, but don’t assume I take for granted what I pass by everyday. I love observing and documenting the changes I see each day, and if interesting, relate them to friends. Not a day goes by that I don’t take some pleasure in my surroundings. I rarely, if ever, drive to work on “mental autopilot”.
I only have 2 choices, highway or a road that leads from my house to work, anything else is just asking to be late for a detour.
Sorry to bring some of my PK discussions here.
I am just glad I was able to engage such bright minds in discussion.
Oh Damn it! I knew this would happen someday. The conversations around here got so heavy today that my monitor just fell through my desk.
Here I will help you pulley it back up into place.
He he Coyote. That’s why I put the silly count clicky in earlier – to lighten the mood. I enjoy your company, as well as the others.
It feels like we are hiding from the trolls back here too!
Electrical Magnetic Pulse in reference to his way of thinking.
What I wrote doesn’t make sense explain how. You teach but can you learn.
… she was talking about my comment with dollars instead of dolors.
The count clicky. Pretend F*bombs but pretty funny.
I knew that I could count on you for a good quote.
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!
*tootles on kazoo melodiously*
*waves flag*
Hurrah.
You should put on a stars and stripes hat for the occasion.
rofl this is funniez. w00t it is independeze dayz!!! woot! FAIL.
all of you hav fun failing!!!
:-0
ROFLCOPTER!!!!!! But seriously, IMA SUICIDE BOMER! BOOM!
*Explodes into free candy for all! YAY!*
You can’t yey ur dead
It’s real. This is a dessert place in Chicago. All of their publicity is deliberately semi-naughty. It’s not a fail.
SemiNaughtyWin
that place has delicious waffles!
This looks shooped. I can tell by the pixels and having seen quite a few shoops in my time.
You suck at your job! xD
i made this!! it’s for a waffle/chocolate house in Chicago. i thought it was a bit naughty
No, this isn’t a fail. I designed this sign for the owner of this restaurant, and he was fully aware of what the alternate reading of this sign is.
This is real – and right down the street from my apartment here in the Lakeview neighborhood in Chicago. They give out free samples!
Roflcopter
Blow it? Well we have the job for you!
We have a job for your mouth… but it blows