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Honest opinion or a snide jab? Naw, I’m just in a very dark and bitter place today, you wouldn’t really take a shot at me like that.
.
Would you. Would you?
sorry Jules not yet, only suggestive apparel like tight tanks, thongs and shirts, It would only work if you wore the hat on your… *asks interviewer for right word*
Don’t ever wear one of those again!! They call them ‘wife beaters’ for a reason! They just look stupid on men. Really.
This pubic er.. public service announcement has been brought to you by the ‘Arthur I have a proposition for you…’ team. Keeping standards in apparel.
Good grief. I was so focused on the birth of Brewski’s … appetizer that I didn’t even read higher up on the thread. I didn’t know there was a cuddle puddle happening!
*hopes the cuddle puddle is still happening*
*takes a chance and cannonballs into cuddle puddle*
I forget both. If I see someone one day dressed all spiffy and then see them again a couple of days later in scruffy clothes, I’ll have no idea who they are.
Well, my mom always said never to talk to strangers, but then she said that nobody was stranger than me, so I guess it’s ok.
*squeezes and smooches everybody*
Certificate?
*rummages through toolbox Medical Bag*
Well, here’s a Picture of my House, a $214 Lunch Receipt from Che’ Fancy Pants, and a Parking Ticket for my Jaguar Convertible! ENOUGH?
*checks*
Yeah, it did last night. Does that mean anything?
*feels freight train in belly*
Uh oh… AAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!
I think Candy Mountain is about to erupt some sweet sugary goodness!
This had better not be like “Alien”. I just got my shirt dry-cleaned. UUUUGGGGGHHH!!!
Oh my. I’m so excited about welcoming a new tax deduction bundle of joy into the Brewski household!
Bourbon?! You aren’t a doctor!
But save that for later, I’ll need it.
*reaches out and squeezes IUL*
*realizes that wasn’t her hand*
Hoooo! Hoooo! Hooo!
Wait, is it 5/1 or 3/1? I forget!!
No! Did my doctor just take a hit of morphine?! AEEEGGHIGH!!!
Oh, there’s junior again. Maybe I do need that bourbon. After all, he might be a whiskey-filled cordial already.
Lissen. Lissen, lissen. I wanna tell you a shtory. There was this guy one time? Who got impregnated with a turkey baster? Right? Can you imagine? But thatsh not all! A piece of candy got in the way and teh guy? The guy, he was in labor for like, days, before he gave birth to a–
AAAAAHH!!! *pant pant pant pant*
I don’t need to worry about being “pantless” during this, at least.
The front part of this process was a lot more pleasant than the back end. Even if it was a turkey baster.
lolcatburglar MD, OG-BYN, Esq., R-E-S-P-E-C-T, TKO, DUI says:
You Lamaze me. Am I going to have to deliver this baby myself or what?
*looks around to see who has the most stretch marks*
Shirts off please, this is the best way I know to make a quick interview process! (and get some free entertainment)
WhatIKnow Now equipped with "Arthur" T-Shirts, in all sizes, call for orders. says:
If you have a C-section, at least you won’t have to worry about doing Kegel exercises to … um … get back into shape. Plus, you can actually sit in a chair or on a barstool without extreme discomfort.
UUUUUUHHHHH!
*pant pant pant*
Alright, let’s hurry up and get this baby on the road!! I’ve got a party down there I want to attend!! And if it’s a girl, I’ve got a name picked out: Peppermint. Middle name Pattie.
WhatIKnow Now equipped with "Arthur" T-Shirts, in all sizes, call for orders. says:
*concentrates*
*one…two…three…*
*scream similar to Wesley being tortured to death in Princess Bride* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
*feels POP*
*collapses*
Wha…wha…what happened?
This will be a fun one to explain to the wife when she asks how Failblog was today. “You know, your typical Friday stuff, some pun runs, nudity, some drinks and oh yeah, Brewski gave birth to god knows what. You remember, he was the one that go knocked up by Lolcatburgler with a turkey baster.”
Yay! I’m glad that’s over! My new tax deduction will get me several beers! And I’m told that babies are a real chick-magnet when you go for walk in the park. Not that I would be so petty and manipulative, of course.
Sooo, which one of you cute gals wants to come cuddle with the baby??
Well I am out for the day. Admiral, save me some, *squeeze* for Velvet, and Brewski and LCB… umm… congrats. Hope there is no dispute for parental control.
Arghh! Once again, work interfered and I missed all the fun! Razzaflabbin’ job! Anyway, congrats Brewski on your new -er- arrival!
*squeezes Brewski and cuddles the little peppermint patty/stein/squid-thing*
*gives Brewski a balloon bouquet in rainbow colors*
WHAT?! I don’t have hours, I’m in AAAAIIIIGGGHGHGHURRRRRGGGH
…Uh, let’s just say I’m a wee bit uncomfortable.
And I’m glad this is happening in July, my flex spending plan just renewed! Not that I’m focused on finances regarding my new parasitic money-sponge bundle of joy.
I know it feels like squeezing a cantaloupe out of your bum, but just relax and breath, It’s all gonna be over soon. Oh, and the next one won’t be this bad.
So, when the doctor was sowing up my wife’s epesiotomy, I asked her to add an extra stitch or two. Everyone in the room laughed, except my wife. I guess she wasn’t in the joking mood.
Believe me Nightshayde, you don’t want to see it. I have been trying to get the picture out of my head for 17 months now. I’m still affraid to look at her girly parts up close. Don’t get me wrong, it was the most beautiful day of my life, but I shouldn’t have looked.
Giant mirrors in delivery room. DO NOT WANT. I’m still amazed that some women let cameras into the room. Those are home videos that should NEVER be seen.
WhatIKnow Now equipped with "Arthur" T-Shirts, in all sizes, call for orders. says:
Hi, Brewski. Sorry, my computer is being a bit slow today.
I haven’t seen LCB this morning on ICHC either, though they were looking for her on the current LOL. She’s probably got some pre-holiday business to attend to, and will hopefully be by soon to relieve you of your minty burden. Or not.
O hai, AP. I’ve been having a busy morning meeting with my malpractice defense team. Can you nip over to ICHC and invite everyone over to witness this miracle?
And I brought along some snackies too, and some gifts!
Oh look, let’s see! Appetizers galore, a veggie tray with dip, hot wings with blue cheese dressing (the new father might be hungry), some delectable barbecued ribs, and assorted fried items (veggies, french fries, you name it). Oh, and drinks!
Congrats to the happy . . . er . . . couple?
*circulates a tray with assorted mixed drinks, cigars, and beers, some imported some domesticated, er . . . domestic*
*sniff* that was beautiful, the miracle of new life.
all I can say to Brewski is, better you than me, bub.
*calculates how many pages of comments her first labor would have taken*
I can’t have sex with your personality and I can’t put my penis in your college degree and I can’t shove my fist in your childhood dreams. So why are you sharing all this information with me.
Good thing. If I had to put up with Bob Saget on this site, I would ream out my ears with a hammer drill, and claw out my eyes with forks, just to kill the pain.
*squeeze* thanks guys. Any thread with LCB in it is bound to be funny, I was just along for the ride!
*levels hard look at Dragon*
But really now… squid??!
I’m getting a little hungry myself!! I am getting new kitchen appliances today, I’m excited. But the weather here is terrible, so the installation guy is late. He won’t start until 4 or 5pm. So, take-out food for me tonight!
Ooh, thanks Admiral, that must be a Hoeegarden or other white ale, if it has a lemon. That lemon isn’t left over from the appetizer, is it? That would be a little wrong, somehow.
*ahem*
A toast! To my failblog friends, may your fails all be on the blog, and not in real life. And may all our USA friends have a wonderful holiday weekend! And non-USA friends have a wonderful weekend as well!
yeah, I just can’t believe the power of a woman who can actually pull of the dominatrix thing. I feel all funny just pretending. lol! *dominatrix abstract comes storming back* “give me that whip you little flimsy thing!” *whip* to Brewski “now you, no talking back, you’ll get it to the left when it’s time to get it to the fleft” *whip*
Alright, my friends, it’s time to go. See you tomorrow, unless you all have a day off (one day before independence day? Why is that? And besides, if we Germans had a day off for every successful revolution in our history we had like errrr… one day off. Never mind.).
♫
So long and thanks for all the squid
So sad that it should come to this
We tried to warn you all but oh dear
♫
You may not share our intellect
Which might explain your disrespect
For all the natural wonders that
grow around you
♫
So long, so long and thanks
for all the squid
♫
The world’s about to be destroyed
There’s no point getting all annoyed
Lie back and let the planet dissolve
♫
Despite those nets of tuna fleets
We thought that most of you were sweet
Especially tiny tots and your
pregnant Brewskis
♫
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
♫
So long, so long and thanks
for all the squid!
♫
♪ Now is the time to say goodnight.
(Goodnight)
Now is the time to yield a sigh.
(Yield it, yield it)
Now is the time to wend our way-eee
Until we meet again-eee
Some sunny day.
Goodnight, goodnight, you’re leaving us, skiddlydye.
Goodnight, we wish a fond goodbye, fa-ta-ta-ta-ta, fa-ta-ta-ta.
Goodnight, goodnight, you’re leaving us, skiddlydum.
Goodnight, we wish a fond goobye, la-la-ta-ta-ta.
La dah da, lah la la etc.
(with apologies to the late great Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore)
bold is: Type this exactly WITHOUT the spaces I am inserting: b o l d
The “b” tells it to do bold, it must be encased between carets (). The “/” in the second command tells the html gods to turn off the effect.
Try it now:
Genitalia, taylor, what’s the difference.
I know a Taylor and yes he is quite a dick.
Take your stinking paws off me, you damned technicolor ape!
Oops I’m guessing you’re a Taylor?
Sorry but you must meet Taylor the Dick.
You’re not though. *apologetic squeeze*
*cough*Tayloristheguyinplanetoftheapesyouknowthatmoviewheremonkeystakeovertheearth? *cough*
Oh.
Reference fail. I never saw that. I was watching on TNT once but I was too focused on my food.
I am embarrassed.
It’s alright. I couldn’t get it until I googled the quote. I knew where it came from, but didn’t understand the connection.
*Squeezes back*
No harm or foul intended. I was speaking up for Taylor.
Failblog! It’s a mad house! A mad house!
Or So they claim. It’s a madhouse. I’M INSANE!!!!
Is it a good thing or a bad thing that I recognize that as Anthrax because I have that album?
It’s a good thing.
.
But Among the Living is their best album.
Honest opinion or a snide jab? Naw, I’m just in a very dark and bitter place today, you wouldn’t really take a shot at me like that.
.
Would you. Would you?
Awww. Buck up little camper.
*Plays The Monster Mash on his Victrola*
Dhid he dieded?
*slumps onto knees*
You b*stards! You blew it up!
You dirty ape!
..
Check out this Wipeout Contestant Fail!
*Turns hose on colortechnic*
Shut up, you freak!
To quote the only Italian guys in Titanic.
“B*stardo”
Mad house?
THIS
IS
FAILBLOG!!!
If he’d only said DIRTY ape. I would have got this rather famous quote. NOOOOOOO. I’ll get you Marius.
*Plots revenge*
Bwa-ha-ha!
*Goes into hiding*
*Waves frantically at Marius*
Quick! You can use my spare bunker!
*quickly leaves FailBlog again*
Okay. If anyone needs me. . . I’ll be in my bunk.
*snork*
*picks up chain of command*
Testing. Testing. AA can you hear me?
I don’t want to hear you when you’re in your bunk.
*Snickers*
You’re coming in good and loud!
I don’t understand it either. Haha.
nice catch, bond
yes he is.
The host failed
I hereby commandere this area for the “Friday for many” cuddle puddle!
YAY!!! *jumps into cuddle puddle clad only in ‘Arthur’ panties.*
*gives WIK Arthur-sized wedgie*
*smooches!*
*flops onto a pile of super-squishy pillows*
.
WIK, do you have any ‘Arthur’ tank tops? The tight-fitting kind, not the baggy ones.
Do you have any ‘Arthur’ hat’s?
sorry Jules not yet, only suggestive apparel like tight tanks, thongs and shirts, It would only work if you wore the hat on your… *asks interviewer for right word*
*has no idea, but wants his share*
*un-wads panties* yup Velvet they are ribbed and tight fitting, but they are not for sale to men, cause they just look stupid in tight tanks.
*sheepishly takes off his “muscle” tank top*
Don’t ever wear one of those again!! They call them ‘wife beaters’ for a reason! They just look stupid on men. Really.
This pubic er.. public service announcement has been brought to you by the ‘Arthur I have a proposition for you…’ team. Keeping standards in apparel.
hmmm… guess I’d better go change my shirt.
There goes my socks-with-flip-flops fashion statement.
XP, it’s ok to do that if you’re wearing those socks with a different color on each toe.
Those are the best socks eva!
Meh, I know of a better pair.
*jingle jingle jingle!*
You rang, my belle.
I have been working on my abs wait that is ABS brakes
Hey, they may be the abusive husband’s apparel of choice, but they are damn comfy
*jumps on top of velvet*
Whoops! Gotta be careful of junior!
*tickles velvet’s feet*
*velvet’s feet are not ticklish* HA!
.
And you know better than to jump in like that! You’ll make your water break!
*pours bucket of water on velvet*
How’s that?!
Hey! You got my Arthur shirt all wet! And that water’s cold!
Judy should’ve worn a bra under that shirt!
.
No, don’t look!
*looks*
Quit staring at my nipples, tiger!
: stare :
*Nibbles, cookie*
Wow, Judy. You sure are getting yourself into a lot of trouble today.
*puts nipples on bottles for Brewski’s Junior*
*grabs aiki’s head and buries it into velvet’s chest*
.
There! Now he can’t see them!
*SQEEEEEEEZE*
*oh and hugs Velvet too
blink blink
Good grief. I was so focused on the birth of Brewski’s … appetizer that I didn’t even read higher up on the thread. I didn’t know there was a cuddle puddle happening!
*hopes the cuddle puddle is still happening*
*takes a chance and cannonballs into cuddle puddle*
I thought the cuddle puddle kind of dried up once Brewski’s water broke. Mind if I take a belated dip with you, nightshayde?
*cuddles Bearly*
All non-trolls are welcome!
There will probably be another one on the “real” Friday.
*squeeze – cuddle – purr*
I’m one of the lucky people who has the “real” Friday off for the holiday, so I will likely be cuddling kittehs and my little girl IRL.
I, too, have the day off. Here’s a *squeeze* for both of you while I’m here.
*scratches AP behind the ears*
*squeeeeeeze!*
Dr. Genitalia seemed unperturbed by her mistake.
Perhaps its her nickname?
Well, she is also a gynecologist.
True that. Perhaps it was a nickname that was to be kept under wraps though?
Genitals under wraps?
Only in public, technicolor, only in public.
I hate etiquette.
Geni Taylor, gynecologist.
And sitting in the chair next to her we have the urologist Dixie Normous.
I forget names all the time
Ah, that’s okay.
I forget people in general all the time.
I forget both. If I see someone one day dressed all spiffy and then see them again a couple of days later in scruffy clothes, I’ll have no idea who they are.
I’m guessing that’s especially bad when they talk to you, eh?
Yeah. They’re just chatting away and I’m smiling and thinking “who are you?”
Cuz I really wanna know.
Sorry, I don’t know how to put in little music notes like you guys.
/whisper Try alt 13 or alt 14 (without the spaces). /whisper
/whisper I appreciate this knowledge. /whisper
And use the number pad, not the numbers in a row above the letters.
I do too, Judy.
Me, too Bob.
*Jumps up and snatches , *
Ha ha, she said snatches.
*giggles* She also said “jumps”.
might want to get some medicine for the jumping snatch. …
Who are you people?
I have no idea who we are but I love us anyway!
*smooches all*
Well, my mom always said never to talk to strangers, but then she said that nobody was stranger than me, so I guess it’s ok.
*squeezes and smooches everybody*
*facepalm*
Name change fail!
EWWW! I just got squeezed by Bob Saget!!!
*offers Sham-Wow*
Hey, You smooched him before he squeezed you.
My timing never was any good.
If only people in real life wore name tags all the time, like we do here… life would be so much easier.
But then Dixie Normous, Jack Koff, Tess Teckle, Ben Dover, Dick Hertz and Mike Hunt couldn’t roam the streets without being laughed at.
I’m sorry to hear that Braski.
I admire what’s behind that name.
Hahaha I just got that.
Fortunately I got it before I corrected you.
That was a bit of a c0ck-up for the host.
At least she recognized her phalli…er failure.
Tw4t did you say?
how prolific…
Wow, I made a
crudecomment at 10:08, which is still in moderation.Here’s some wine and garlic bread while we wait.
*Brings cheese*
It’s gonna be a party!!!
But not with Jack Daniels
without. oops
Oh, *whew* You scared me for a moment. Here have some single barrel.
*Watches in amazement*
That can’t be good for your liver.
Oh well. Kill that liver! Kill that liver!….
I am anti-liver, besides medical technology has made it possible for me to destroy my liver, get a new one and destroy that one too.
I need this technology.
Can I get some lungs?
Hold on. I seem to be coughing mine up today.
I’ve been moderated for something I have been saying all day. p a n t i e s You can make up the rest.
I just tried, WIK, but somehow I can’t.
Something about how we managed to fit your pic onto a very small t h o n g.
What a laugh for all the members of the audience.
There’s no taking that back.
“And this is Today, on NBC”
“And we’re back…” as soon as we stop giggling.
Suddenly her office was swamped with new patient requests.
Hi AP! Where’s lolcatburglar? I’m worried, I think junior is getting ready to make an entrance, and I think I need her expertise!!!
We can get Dr. Genitalia to assist.
*boils water and gets extra sheets*
You called?
Oh hi doc, I have these bumps on my…wait, that’s not important right now. Brewski is going into labor.
In labor!
*runs in BFF fashion*
*hits a wall, gets knocked out*
*eyes Aiki on the floor at her feet*
*gives him mouth to mouth*
It is a mad house here today!
Wheels in the bar, did some one call?
I’ll take a beer.
Oh wait! I forgot, I’m in labor!! Gotta run!!
*fakes being out more so mouth to mouth continues*
*pauses in mouth to mouth*
*takes a deep breath*
*continues mouth to mouth*
*giggles*
*hand starts wandering*
If ZA was here he could dig to her like he did the secretary yesterday.
LA ta da! I’m here have no fear! Uh, so tell me Mr. Brewski, what seems to be the problem?
I think I need to see your certificate… you look a lot like some roadkill I saw once…
was it on your dinner plate?
I got your urgent call Dr. Normous!
Here’s your first name back! May I have mine back as well?
Why is this man PREGNANT?!
Certificate?
*rummages through
toolboxMedical Bag*Well, here’s a Picture of my House, a $214 Lunch Receipt from Che’ Fancy Pants, and a Parking Ticket for my Jaguar Convertible! ENOUGH?
I don’t see any country club membership card…
Right, don’t panic. I’m here. Has the timer popped up yet?
I checked, something popped up but I’m not a doctor, doctor.
*checks*
Yeah, it did last night. Does that mean anything?
*feels freight train in belly*
Uh oh…
AAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!
I think Candy Mountain is about to erupt some sweet sugary goodness!
This had better not be like “Alien”. I just got my shirt dry-cleaned.
UUUUGGGGGHHH!!!
Oh my. I’m so excited about welcoming a new
tax deductionbundle of joy into the Brewski household!How far apart are the confections?
*sits in front row seat, munching the confections*
Mmpf, huh? Wut?
*throws wrappers on floor*
*looks at watch*
I just had two Mounds in 3 minutes doctor. Is it serious?
Not as long as you didn’t suddenly realize they were Almond Joys.
*offers her hand for Brewski to squeeze during contractions*
Breathe, Brewski, breathe!
*gives Brewski another double shot of Bourbon*
Ice anyone?
I’ll have a bourbon, straight up, Doctor.
Bourbon?! You aren’t a doctor!
But save that for later, I’ll need it.
*reaches out and squeezes IUL*
*realizes that wasn’t her hand*
Hoooo! Hoooo! Hooo!
Wait, is it 5/1 or 3/1? I forget!!
Just relax. These things can take hours.
Now, have you filled out your guest survey form yet?
*gives brewski an epidural with a morphine boost*
.
There, there. Now sit back and enjoy the pretty lights…
*was examining Brewski at the time, accidentally received epidural*
Oooh! Those pretty lights smell lovely!
I have the vacuum hose and kitchen tong things that you asked for, what’re we gonna do with these?
*eyes widen in terror*
Aaaaaahhhhh! A hosetong monster! Get that out of here!
Move over, Brewski. I need a nap.
*holds down Brewski*
Don’t squirm, Brewski. You’ll only make this more difficult for yourself.
No! Did my doctor just take a hit of morphine?!
AEEEGGHIGH!!!
Oh, there’s junior again. Maybe I do need that bourbon. After all, he might be a whiskey-filled cordial already.
*straps Brewski’s legs to the stirrups and wheels over big mirror so he can see what’s going on down there*
Lissen. Lissen, lissen. I wanna tell you a shtory. There was this guy one time? Who got impregnated with a turkey baster? Right? Can you imagine? But thatsh not all! A piece of candy got in the way and teh guy? The guy, he was in labor for like, days, before he gave birth to a–
*goes glassy eyed, passes out cold*
I feel like I’m witnessing the Spanish Inquisition here!
What’s wrong? You’ve never seen an angry one?
Dr. LCB is awaiting moderation. There’s a laugh!
*drools a little, wonders why her legs are made of rubber*
Is it really following blog-hospital procedure to have this many untrained helpers in the birthing room? Plus that big audience?? *points*
I hate those giant mirrors!
*runs screaming from the room*
Who you callin’ untrained! See these stretch marks?!?
AAAAAHH!!! *pant pant pant pant*
I don’t need to worry about being “pantless” during this, at least.
The front part of this process was a lot more pleasant than the back end. Even if it was a turkey baster.
Aw, Brewski, what’s the matter? You look a little pale. Come on, let’s sing some show tunes!
One… singular sensation
Every little step he –
*passes out again*
*wheels the swooning couch in from ICHC*
*gently helps LCB onto the couch*
*summons firemen to attend to LCB’s …. um …. needs*
You Lamaze me. Am I going to have to deliver this baby myself or what?
*looks around to see who has the most stretch marks*
Shirts off please, this is the best way I know to make a quick interview process! (and get some free entertainment)
*Takes off ‘Arthur’ shirt* This wasn’t in my contract(ion).
OMG, I went to lunch and almost missed the birth!
*Runs into delivery room wearing catcher’s equipment with glove extended*
How can I help?
*comes to*
*sees firemen*
*wonders what all the screaming is in the background*
*has a craving for a junior mint*
What’s the fireman doing with that hose?! Get him away from me!!
No, it’s ok. The firemen also have axes, and a baby-catchy thingy. And they brought the Jaws of Life, just in case it gets stuck.
*holds brewski’s hand tightly*
.
No stretch marks here, but I do have a nice c-section scar. Does that count?
Er, Brewski? I thought you said this was either a 5 oz. or 10 oz. box. Is this a multiple birth?!
*wheels a gigantic icy-cold vat of beer over to Brewski*
*puts one end of a ginormous bendy straw into the vat & the other end into Brewski’s mouth*
You might need this, Brewski.
C…C…C…C s-s-s-section??
*looks pale*
*examines Brewski, with fireman guarding back in case of accidental epidural, Pt. 2*
It would appear that an R-Section is more appropriate. Did someone think to bring a jig saw? *is puzzled*
*grabs hold and squeezes bearly and velvet*
*sucks on beer straw*
Hmm, maybe this giving-birth-thing isn’t all bad after all…
Relaaaaaaaax, Brewski.
If you have a C-section, at least you won’t have to worry about doing Kegel exercises to … um … get back into shape. Plus, you can actually sit in a chair or on a barstool without extreme discomfort.
*Pulls out jigsaw puzzle*
Will this work?
Just don’t sneeze or laugh in the next 6 to 8 weeks.
Hang in there, Brewski…I can’t get out of work, yet! Crap…look at all these people…and equipment. This procedure has already cost a mint!
Thanks, BA, but these edges aren’t nearly sharp enough. Does anyone have some toenail clippers?
UUUUUUHHHHH!
*pant pant pant*
Alright, let’s hurry up and get this baby on the road!! I’ve got a party down there I want to attend!! And if it’s a girl, I’ve got a name picked out: Peppermint. Middle name Pattie.
PUSH!!!
Ok, Brewski. Time to push.
Aaaaaah! Did I miss the blessed event??
*looks around the room*
Whew! Noop…craziness as per usual.
*Boards plane to L.A. and tracks down basketball team*
*Races back with basketball players in toe*
Er… what did you want these guys to take of their shoes for?
*Adds f to comment and hopes that no one notices thanks to Brewski’s screams*
*finds reply button waaay up there, tows toes.*
Ok, Brewski, you’re doing fine. Stop pushing now, something’s crowning.
*stares*
*can’t stop staring*
*passes out*
*concentrates*
*one…two…three…*
*scream similar to Wesley being tortured to death in Princess Bride*
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
*feels POP*
*collapses*
Wha…wha…what happened?
Hey guys I’m only back for the big mome-…
My God… What IS that!?
Oh! my dear Westley! It’s.. It’s… *passes out next to LCB*
That was me…I a just popping some bubble gum.
*squish, squish, fooooop…POP!*
er, what was I doing?
*looks around, feels left out*
*pretends to pass out*
*rather uncomfortable on floor, gets up and just stares at… birth.*
Oh, it’s…er…not beautiful. Is that a York Peppermint Patty, or is that just the remains of my lunch burrito?
I’m gonna go with burrito.
Congratulations, it’s a….squid.
No no, it just needs to be cleaned up a little.
*Washes the new baby, swaddles it in a blanket, and gently passes it to Brewski*
Congrats Brew… You’re the proud parent of ummm…. *grabs medical dictionary with pictures* what is it?
*passes out bubble gum cigars*
I did not see that coming.
*unfaints*
*holds Brewski upside-down by the ankles and spanks him*
*you know, usual Friday stuff*
*wakes up, puts on parent-tone*
Oh, its… really nice! Good job Brew! Its a.. um… It’s really nice!
It… doesn’t look a thing like you. I think that’s good news.
*Stares*
Squid! I knew I wasn’t responsible!
*eyes Starfish suspiciously*
Wow.
You.
People.
Are.
Insane.
…
This will be a fun one to explain to the wife when she asks how Failblog was today. “You know, your typical Friday stuff, some pun runs, nudity, some drinks and oh yeah, Brewski gave birth to god knows what. You remember, he was the one that go knocked up by Lolcatburgler with a turkey baster.”
♪ Brewski is not my lover,
he’s just a boy that thinks that I am the one.
But the squid is not my son ♫
Yay! I’m glad that’s over! My new tax deduction will get me several beers! And I’m told that babies are a real chick-magnet when you go for walk in the park. Not that I would be so petty and manipulative, of course.
Sooo, which one of you cute gals wants to come cuddle with the baby??
I move that we name the squid/baby/Brewski thing Stein.
*Prepares twenty-five gallon bassinet with UV light and filter*
Wait, is it a boy or a girl? How d’ya check on one of those, anyway?
*Puzzled look*
I was thinking Lil’ Squirt.
*prepares bill for services rendered*
*places it in a vinyl booklet*
*sets it on gurney next to Brewski*
*puts a few mints on top*
I’ll just come by for this whenever you’re ready.
What sex is this Basting Failure Squid, again?
Wait a minute!! A squid?!
*considers malpractice suit against LCB for impregnation malpractice*
Velvet, will you help me prepare these legal briefs?
I really don’t want to cuddle with that right now.I’ll just go get a bubble thing for the 25 gallon bassinet.
Ugh, *malpractice suit for incompetent impregnation*
I’m so excited about being a mom/dad that I can’t even speak coherently!
But…you’ve only just delivered the appetizer.
How about we name it Calamari?
Seems like LCB is charging you for her fainting… hmmm how do I get in on this scam?
Sure, I’ll help!
.
Briefs or boxers?
.
Actually, you’ll need to wear Depends for a couple of days with all the post-birth seepage.
Name it? It’s breaded and fried! What the next course?
*Gapes at the Admiral in horror*
What if we name it Gordon?
Well I am out for the day. Admiral, save me some, *squeeze* for Velvet, and Brewski and LCB… umm… congrats. Hope there is no dispute for parental control.
Mmmmm. Fried calamari.
Erm, Brewski? Seems like some of your fellow failbloggers regard your offspring as a tasty seafood dish. Little help here?
I think we should give it a nice long name we can remeber. How about Calamari Ripieni con Ricotta E Spinaci? AA. . . Ms B?
AAAH!! What did you do to … um… it??
Arghh! Once again, work interfered and I missed all the fun! Razzaflabbin’ job! Anyway, congrats Brewski on your new -er- arrival!
*squeezes Brewski and cuddles the little peppermint patty/stein/squid-thing*
*gives Brewski a balloon bouquet in rainbow colors*
WHAT?! I don’t have hours, I’m in AAAAIIIIGGGHGHGHURRRRRGGGH
…Uh, let’s just say I’m a wee bit uncomfortable.
And I’m glad this is happening in July, my flex spending plan just renewed! Not that I’m focused on finances regarding my new
parasitic money-spongebundle of joy.I know it feels like squeezing a cantaloupe out of your bum, but just relax and breath, It’s all gonna be over soon. Oh, and the next one won’t be this bad.
Next one??!!
NO!!
It’s so sad how close to reality of my first child’s birth this is. *sigh*
Anyway, the episiotomy (sp?) will feel wonderful! I promise!
So, when the doctor was sowing up my wife’s epesiotomy, I asked her to add an extra stitch or two. Everyone in the room laughed, except my wife. I guess she wasn’t in the joking mood.
I hope so. I just want to usher in
the end of life as I know itthe beginning of a new wonderful chapter!*snork* I had a similar experience with my husband and I was poked REALLY hard in the inner thigh with a needle for laughing.
To what species does your wife belong, Starfish?
*tries to picture a starfish giving birth*
Believe me Nightshayde, you don’t want to see it. I have been trying to get the picture out of my head for 17 months now. I’m still affraid to look at her girly parts up close. Don’t get me wrong, it was the most beautiful day of my life, but I shouldn’t have looked.
LOL! I’m still amazed my husband didn’t faint during my C-section. Thank heaven there were drapes up & neither of us could see anything.
That is why I hate those giant mirrors! I’m not feeling it, why would I want to see it?
*shudder*
Giant mirrors in delivery room. DO NOT WANT. I’m still amazed that some women let cameras into the room.
Those are home videos that should NEVER be seen.
I kicked the mirror, it was HORRIFIC!!
Yep. All my friends in med school say that a C-section is much nicer, cleaner, etc.
*Shudders thinking about OB/GYN rotations*
I had a c-section! It was cool! Hubby stood there and watched the whole thing. He knows me from the inside out, literally! HAHAHAHA!
Ugh… *turns white*
*enters room* Has the
potatobaby been delivered!?It’s a squid!
Brewski will be teaching it to open beer cans and pop off bottle caps in no time.
I’m not sure even Brewski knows how to do that using tentacles, but I bet he’s up to the challenge of learning how!
*pictures Squidward*
*hopes the baby is better-looking than Squidward*
Do we know the gender yet?
It wasn’t a ssquid… Bearly cleaned it up. it’s a York Peppermint Patty!
Actually, even I’m not sure that the cleaning helped…
I can see the wrapper… that’s what it says on it…
Hmm… a squid with a York peppermint patty wrapper?
I definitely didn’t see THAT coming.
*is squeezed*
Um, I forget, too. Just squeeze – I mean – breathe!
Quick! Mallet & Chisel!
Who let that CAT in here? SHOOOOO!
*gives Brewski a double shot of Bourbon*
Where does it hurt? What this lil’ turkey timer in your belly button for?
Hi, Brewski. Sorry, my computer is being a bit slow today.
I haven’t seen LCB this morning on ICHC either, though they were looking for her on the current LOL. She’s probably got some pre-holiday business to attend to, and will hopefully be by soon to relieve you of your minty burden. Or not.
OK, so I’m typing a bit slow too. Like magic, there she is!
O hai, AP. I’ve been having a busy morning meeting with my malpractice defense team. Can you nip over to ICHC and invite everyone over to witness this miracle?
Nevermind. I just went over and invited everyone.
Hi!! Lolcatburglar said the “big event” was happening NOW and we were to bring the boiling water!!
*drags in huge cauldron of boiling water*
How are yoo doing, Brewski???
*also brings big platters of chocolate chip, peanut butter, oatmeal & raisin cookes, and some chocolate biscotti*
*and some pitchers of cold milk to go with them*
Wow! I’ve never seen so much food on this blog before! Form a queue, everyone!
Thank heaven you’re here! These refreshments look far more delectable than the ones over on that table. *points to the scary refreshment table*
Oh.
That wasn’t the refreshment table? Those are body parts? What kind of hospital is this, anyway?
*Walks slowly past wearing an orderly uniform and wheeling a hamper filled with parts*
Canapé madam?
Ooh, do you have ladyfingers?
Yes, we call them pizza fingers.
*eyes canapes suspiciously*
Um – no, thanks. Very kind of you to offer … but I think I’ll stick with the ICHC refreshments.
*scoots away withaquickness*
I brought a baby gift!
A mylar baby blanket!
Giver not responsible for any mistaken identity due to the appearance and use of this gift.
*POOF*
Here I am. Have I missed anything? Where should I sit? Where are the refreshments?
*looks around & sees refreshment table*
PSSSSST!! nightshayde! Look at the OTHER table! Where the cookies are!
{{{{{JCH4K}}}}}
Nice job!
*fills cheeks not unlike a squirrel* I like these kitties.
Yummy!
nomnomnomnom
These cookies safe? Yesterday’s made me a little…giggly.
These are lolcat cookies, and I haven’t seen Arthur around since last fail, so I think we are safe.
Food, women, Brewski in labor…
can life get any better? I submit it cannot!
Better Brewski than me, that’s for sure!
And firemen! Don’t forget the firemen!
Mmmm, firemen!
*Moves to get a better view of the firemen*
Hey, I have orange, not red and I am not a firema….
oh your looking over there.
*squeeze Aiki* (/whispers) We were looking at you when you were not watching
*squeeze*
Awww *scuffs foot on floor*
You gals are the bestest!
*rubs her head against Aiki*Don’t worry Aiki, we still love you *purrs*
And I brought along some snackies too, and some gifts!
Oh look, let’s see! Appetizers galore, a veggie tray with dip, hot wings with blue cheese dressing (the new father might be hungry), some delectable barbecued ribs, and assorted fried items (veggies, french fries, you name it). Oh, and drinks!
Congrats to the happy . . . er . . . couple?
*circulates a tray with assorted mixed drinks, cigars, and beers, some imported some domesticated, er . . . domestic*
Salud! *drinks a toast*
Wow, Gremlin – you have outdone yourself!
*takes an apple martini from the tray*
No – no food, thanks. Don’t want to interfere with the buzz quite yet.
*takes the veggie tray with dip*
.
Thanks! This is a great little pick-me-up for the afernoon crawl.
.
*squeeze*
What’s that? You need picking up??
*squeeze-lefts velvet off floor*
*veggies fly everywhere*
Oh no! You lost your grip on my carrot!
*secretly replaces an “e” with an “i” *
Let’s see if Brewski notices….
Love in an elivator…
I dedn’t see anytheng wrong.
Cookies? Ooh, I love cookies!
*takes a handful*
*wheels in a wagon-load of popcorn to share*
Did I miss the big event?
*sets up camp chairs for the audience*
You guys forgot your ponchos. I think what’s coming out of Brewski won’t come out of fur easily.
*Distributes waterproof ponchos among the kittehs*
Ohhh… or out of wings *takes poncho*
Hi guys! Are there any cookies left?
Um, why is everybody wearing ponchos?
**fixes plate of cookies for Brewski** Here you go! Um, are you aware your timer has popped?
*looks at the cleaned off baby, now a York Peppermint Patty*
**a squid with a York peppermint patty wrapper. Does this mean it’s female?
*Plops down beside bf473* Hey, did I miss anything? Wanna help me set up the margarita machine?
Mmmm…. margaritas.
*helps PH set up the machine*
*sniff* that was beautiful, the miracle of new life.
all I can say to Brewski is, better you than me, bub.
*calculates how many pages of comments her first labor would have taken*
Surprisingly, none of them had ADD. But they were definitely adult.
Look’s like that name’s going to last awhile.
isn’t her spouse Hugh Normous, M.D. ?
Dixie Normous, silly.
Hugh is her son.
No that’s her daughter.
Have any of you seen the Show Me your Genitals video?
clickie.
NSFW
And I ain’t no chauvinist.
There
Wait I can’t link?
Were you trying to link to 2 girls 1 cup?
lol no. I’m not that cruel. I was linking Show me Your Genitals but I was not even using the link. I got it now. In my rush I was using the embedding.
So you’re talking to me about stuff. Why?
Nope.
Got it. lol
lol! That’s really funny. It’s not sexist cause I’m singing it in a song.
Knock knock, who’s there?
It’s me.
Wondering why you’re not naked
*Shakes her…bums*
bums? you have more then one?
No.
Homeless people.
Help control the bum population have your homeless person shaken by WhatIKnow
I can’t have sex with your personality and I can’t put my penis in your college degree and I can’t shove my fist in your childhood dreams. So why are you sharing all this information with me.
*snorksnorksnork*
They had a whole segment on Funniest Home Videos where all these people managed to say sex instead of success. Way to raise the bar.
You do realise this is FailBlog, not AFHV?
Good thing. If I had to put up with Bob Saget on this site, I would ream out my ears with a hammer drill, and claw out my eyes with forks, just to kill the pain.
What did I ever do to you, Brewski?
You are dirty and tried to sleep with the Olsen twins lol.
I slept with them BEFORE they were famous…
Wouldn’t've they been like, fetuses?
Taking pedophilia to the next level …
*vomits*
I need a medic…
*vomits*
What didn’t you ever do to him, Bob?
*quickly scribbles out “him” and replaces it with “her” before anyone notices*
NOooo!!!! Antichrist!!! Away, evil Saget!!
*holds up garlic and a cross*
*Takes garlic. Looks for butter for garlic bread*
Oh god have you seen Bob Sagets roast. He is totally not the dork you see on AFHV. Total dirty old man.
Have you ever tried to watch his stand-up?
R-O-U-G-H
I think the waitress’s name was Dixie Normous
Ben Dover Hugh Mungus Dixie Normous
Don’t forget Karl Rove!
Michael Hunt?
Of course, everyone calls him “Mike.”
And don’t forget Ivor Biggun. Poor fella. He never was a fully integrated member of the group.
I thought Mike changed his last name to Hawk. Isn’t he friends with Hugh Jazz?
wasn’t this video already posted? o_0
aren’t you confusing this page with the voting page? o_0
there is a voting page? 0_o srry i am new here…
I get out of work in 90min! WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
*is up to #90 on VG Cats*
I don’t think I have done any work today…
Oooo i’m telling your boss dixie normous
Dang, I have to go for today.
But if the Baby/Turkey/Crazyawesome new species is born I’ll just have to read back up later.
Later, FailBloggers!
Bye!!
If its a turkey I call dibs on a leg.
*Pulls out two swords*
*Tosses one to Tech Law*
Shall we duel for such an honor?
Um a turkey typically has 2 legs you could just have the other one.
Ohhh but I just wanna stab something.
Try following the sign for wildlife and children
lol Gena Taylor = Genitalia…I thought I had heard every “Bob Wire” name in the book
shouldn’t this be a win?
What are you, some sort of half pig, half bear, half man?
That doesn’t make any sense Cloral, he’s more like half man and half bearpig. Or was it half bear and half manpig?
That’s more than half!
There was a South Park episode with something like that…
*applauds AP for catching up*
I suppose now we all know what was on the host’s mind that day.
Show me your genitals… genitalia!
so i gather from the comments that she called the other womand genitalia… is that correct? I wish I had sound.
Yeah, apparently her name is “Jenny Taylor.” And this time, no one made the name up just to get on TV!
lolz!
Still being a temporary dominatrix, I see!
Who would do a thing like that?
People do all sorts of degrading things to get attention. Some people, anyway.
It’s disgusting. Why humiliate yourself for this?
I have no idea!
so she killed the host?
I can’t play it, something about an error occurring. youtube fail or my connection fail?
Blog Fail
buba® does not understand. buba® needs some help.
Agreed.
*nods*
*squeezes*
*squeeze*
Good to see you!
I think we need a bonus fail. This one is tuckered out.
Yes, I don’t even know where to jump in. I think I just smoke a cigar in celebration of Brewski’s squid.
*jumps in* Where did you get that cigar? Its smells like Lewinsky. ewww.
And I was sooo proud that Clinton gave it to me. Saved it for a special occasion, but he just wanted to get rid of the evidence…
Sorry, I kinda derailed this fail, didn’t I? Well, it was a once-in-a-lifetime event. I hope.
What? No, it was hilarious! I just showed up too late. Anyway, congrats! What a beautiful… meal.
Funniest. Failblog thread. Evar.
*squeeze* thanks guys. Any thread with LCB in it is bound to be funny, I was just along for the ride!
*levels hard look at Dragon*
But really now… squid??!
Pfffffft….
Okay, who here can name that quote?
MIB.
Men In Black! I recognized the quote, but did have to look it up to check.
HAH! I read Dragon’s mind and was FIRST!!!11!!oneeleven
You almost answered it before she thought of it.
Sooo close to a paradox… I’ll keep trying.
If you break the STC again, I’m coming after you. :p
Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am.
I’m getting a little hungry myself!! I am getting new kitchen appliances today, I’m excited. But the weather here is terrible, so the installation guy is late. He won’t start until 4 or 5pm. So, take-out food for me tonight!
I’m trying to wash my hands of it, but that ink is difficult to remove.
Out, damn’d spot! Out, I say!
You shouldn’t have squozen it right after birth. It stress for ‘em, you know.
LCB delivered an appetizer. The only thing being squeezed over there is a lemon wedge.
Just think of it this way, Brewski. Now you don’t have to pay for college!
*thinks for… 5 seconds*
WoooHooo!!!
*pops champagne*
Let’s party!
*starts filling glasses*
*sticks a lemon wedge in Brewski’s Belgian ale*
*adds tartar sauce to buffet table*
*Takes champagne*
Ok, so I’m a little sad that there’s not a new FailBaby to play with anymore, but… well, what a fail! To you, Brewski!
Ooh, thanks Admiral, that must be a Hoeegarden or other white ale, if it has a lemon. That lemon isn’t left over from the appetizer, is it? That would be a little wrong, somehow.
*ahem*
A toast! To my failblog friends, may your fails all be on the blog, and not in real life. And may all our USA friends have a wonderful holiday weekend! And non-USA friends have a wonderful weekend as well!
*clinks!*
Well said!
That’s a nice toast! Cheers!
*drinks barrel of whiskey*
*clinks ‘n’ drinks*
Hear, hear!
*Clinks and sips*
As a bonus, you can probably take a few days of Bereavement Leave.
*Clinks*
Cheers!
Cheerst!
It goes down bubbliest!
*hefts glass*
.
Cheers!
.
*pours drink down gullet*
*doesn’t notice it flowing back out his stomach*
*remembering to change name – FAIL*
*AGAIN*
Sorry I missed your moment, Brewski, but…do I understand this correctly? You had a …. squid … and the, uh, celebrants battered, fried, and ATE it?
No, Judy. LCD delivered it fully, uh…prepared for the reception.
Urgh! He delivered a ‘ready to cook entree’????
Oh, well, what can one expect when impregnated with a cooking utensil.
I feel like such a turkey…
Ah, well, it was the baste of times, it was the worst of times….
You were our first celebrity roast.
Failblog is murky!
Hah! I guilted…I mean, convinced Arthur to come and play with us! Woohoo!
*squeezies*
For ever and ever?
Well, you even stumped me on that one.
Come play with us, Danny
REDRUM!
Shiny!
I’m all yours… Eternity, here I come.
(*squeezes all*)
Does Dr. Genitalia work at Genital Hospital?
I thought I was the only one that went by Dr. Genetalia
Well, at least they had a good laugh about it lol.
I’m outta here to prepare for the fireworks tomorrow. (A day early but whatever.) Have a happy 4th!
Bye! Have a great time, and don’t do anything with the fireworks that we’d do in FailBlog!
The last time I tried to light the sparklers in my crack it went badly.
I think I will find a better place for them this time. 
*Nods*
Sounds like a plan.
See you! Have a splendid weekend!
BYE WIK!!!
You probably won’t be around to read this…
but, glad you could make it today!
Yes, I also liked the comments about panties that she made! (That’s what you meant, right?)
Wow, Arthur – you really seem to like the fact that your face is now in the pants of every lady here! Nice work!
Usually the ladies like that too…
Did you hear me complaining?
*Proudly models Arthur panties*
*envies Arthur*
*is glad his honey is no lady*
Don’t worry. I don’t even wear panties. :p
That’s what I meant.
I always wondered how you managed to avoid panty lines. I assumed it was just extra-thick dragon scales.
I avoid panty lines by calling in advance for reservations.
A “tip”?!?!
After you took morphine, guzzled booze, passed out twice, and lord knows what else??
I’m lucky I’m still alive!!!
See? You’re still alive!
If you don’t have cash on you, you can just add a tip to the bill. 15 to 20% is customary.
OK, fine.
*pays bill and tip in Zimbabwe currency*
You’re a good sport, Brewski. Thanks for all the hijinks today! You, too, LCB. You were hilarious per usual.
Now see? Was that so hard?
*looks at money*
HEY! Wait a minute there, mister.
You have some change coming.
*YOINK!*
*takes all of LCB’s money*
*runsawayrealfast*
*catches Brewski, who can’t run that fast so soon after giving birth*
*pickpockets credit cards*
*runs them through scanner worn on belt*
*adds hefty tip for self*
*returns card*
Oh, and BTW: Mazel Squid
I don’t think WIK usually gets naked, does she??
*refers to photo album of nekkid failbloggers*
*would love to order that*
Me too!
What?
*orders SpongeBetty a squeeze*
*personally delivers it*
Wooo!
*wiggledances*
*squeeze*
I like the personal touch as long as you don’t deliver squid with it.
No squids, just squeezes.
You know, that’s the first time the guests have been anything but horrified by a mistake the host makes.
♪♫☼►◄↕‼¶§▬↨↑↓→☻←☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘○◙♂♀♪♫☼►◄↕‼¶§▬↨↑↓→←∟↔▲▼ !”#$%&
Use your words. . .
Choose your next witticism carefully, Mr. Kevin. It may be your last.
It’s amazing, it’s like he vomited printable ASCII characters. A lot of them. BEFORE I arrived.
.
*repeatedly denies any involvement*
There’s lol cats on the vote page, THERE’S LOL CATS ON THE VOTE PAGE!!!!!!! *subdued voice* I think that’s pretty awesome!
oops, forgot to change my name back. hee hee
They’re also on the previous fail.
I thought maybe it was becoming a long-term position.
*whip* why, do you like it? *whip*
Ow!
*whimpers*
A little to the left…
*claws from grave*
*sneakily, without making a sound, steals abstract’s extra ‘f’*
*slides back into grave*
lol thanks! good night all
Alright, my friends, it’s time to go. See you tomorrow, unless you all have a day off (one day before independence day? Why is that? And besides, if we Germans had a day off for every successful revolution in our history we had like errrr… one day off. Never mind.).
Enjoy!
*waves*
Bye, Arthur!
*squeeeeeeeeeezes Arthur goodbye*
Glad you were around today!
LOL! pheeew, ok I thought that was going to be bad. hahaha have a great weekend anyhow, I will enjoy my extra day off, thanks.
*tips hat*
Bye Arthur!! See you Monday!!
LMAO good one AE. How many Statutory holidays does Germany get?
My day is done, although now I will have to labor at home due to all my labor on failblog!
Have an awesome weekend all! It was fun!
*squeezes*
awwwe, don’t go… Well, *snif*, at least have a *tear falls* good weekend.
hee hee *squeeze* ……. *smooch*
Good night. Thanks for the fun.
*squeez*
♫
So long and thanks for all the squid
So sad that it should come to this
We tried to warn you all but oh dear
♫
You may not share our intellect
Which might explain your disrespect
For all the natural wonders that
grow around you
♫
So long, so long and thanks
for all the squid
♫
The world’s about to be destroyed
There’s no point getting all annoyed
Lie back and let the planet dissolve
♫
Despite those nets of tuna fleets
We thought that most of you were sweet
Especially tiny tots and your
pregnant Brewskis
♫
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
♫
So long, so long and thanks
for all the squid!
♫
Very soleful performance, ZA! I thought you’d flounder a bit toward the end there, but you really nailed that hook!
Thanks for noticing how desperately I was fishing for a compliment.
And the tuna, the tuna’s a great one!
♪ Now is the time to say goodnight.
(Goodnight)
Now is the time to yield a sigh.
(Yield it, yield it)
Now is the time to wend our way-eee
Until we meet again-eee
Some sunny day.
Goodnight, goodnight, you’re leaving us, skiddlydye.
Goodnight, we wish a fond goodbye, fa-ta-ta-ta-ta, fa-ta-ta-ta.
Goodnight, goodnight, you’re leaving us, skiddlydum.
Goodnight, we wish a fond goobye, la-la-ta-ta-ta.
La dah da, lah la la etc.
(with apologies to the late great Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore)
Later, Brewski!
*squeeze*
Mike Roin, pick on Line 2!
[b] test [b]
[b]test[b]
i give up
FAIL
Retest?
Yeah, but he has to study some more first.
.
Answer: ( t e s t ) – spaces = test
WHOA!
*didn’t expect THAT to happen*
*tries again …
.
Answer: (_t_e_s_t_) – (_) = test
*gets very angry*
*violently attacks blog*
*rips through whole blog, trying to find the brain*
*fails*
*leaves everything in a shambled mess*
*crawls out of wreckage*
W-w-what h-hap-p-p-pened?
*blacks out*
I think it was a Zombie Apocalypse GBF?
Try using > instead of ] and < instead of [ when you do that & it should work.
Thusly.
>hmmm<
made my word vannish. Magic.
But I hate you.
… and that dearest Nightshayde, is why you just can’t help some people.
Where is my morning fail? Wherewherewhere??? Damn Independence Day!
How dare they have a holiday! Isn’t that illegal or something?
On Independence Day there are no fails, only WINS!!!FRITS!1111!OMG!!!eleven11!LOL
*giggles*
BRITISH WIN!!!1!!!!111
No, wait…
The British won? Now I know it’s fake!
we never win- It’s the taking part that counts *grumble grumble grumble*
*sings “two world wars and one world cup”*
*reconsiders the last part*
I wasn’t even born in 66. *shrugs*
I ‘m sure we won the Falklands though.
Ok so we are a bit like the Spanish Inquisition, we only win when no one expects it!
You won the Falklands? In a lottery or what? I did not expect that!
Yup. I think Maggie’s number did eventually come up.
I’m sure the number was too afraid of her to not come up.
BTW, what did the host on this fail say? I have no sound.
Apparently the black woman’s name is Jenny Taylor. The host messed it up to Genitalia.
“genitalia” she said? Sexy!
according to Fruedian-slip theory, i can tell what’s on her mind!
Going to Italy?
Master Roshi is a Pervert.
Oh and you are some sort of Super Saint?
OOPS a dickey.
Answer: (_t_e_s_t_) – (_) = test
( H E L L O )-
( H E L L O )
This is eagle 5 calling Mayday. I need help to make musical notes and bold letters over!
morning all!
just copy and paste from this: ♪ ♫
bold!! tell me bold!!!!!
but I want access to it all the time Halifax180
bold is: Type this exactly WITHOUT the spaces I am inserting: b o l d
The “b” tells it to do bold, it must be encased between carets (). The “/” in the second command tells the html gods to turn off the effect.
Try it now:
(bold)
i hate my life
/bold hello
hi
nooooooooooooo