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An appropriate grin if inserted.
He’s getting a snoot full?
No nose knows?
If statistics of nasal molestation go on the rise suddenly, we know what to blame.
anyone notice the trojan add right next to this fail? hmm…
If only the random ad had shown for me too. Mr Elephallic is gonna need one when he surprises the little monkey
It will be an experience he never forgets
We need to see his act of surprising the monkey.
Let’s hope for the monkeys sake that he doesn’t have a runny nose.
I see a “I’m waiting for it…” Quizno’s ad. Also appropriate.
For me it wasn’t a Trojan ad, it was a Skyn ad. But whatever, they’re both condoms.
no one nose?
no…. no nose knows?
xD
I think it is pleased to see me.
Do you think it can pick up nuts with that thing?
or girlie hefalumps, just ’cause he likes purple we can never assume!
It was pink until they squeezed too hard
He’s wearing a snout ring.
Septum piercing Ellie style?
A Prince Elephant.
Sammy, I have to hand it to you. That was an epic pun. (I’m pounding my pun just thinking about it.)
…and I’m going APE over his post!
It’s a phalli-phant!
You called?
Good Morning!
Hallo-
*falls over*
no- cause I am a fall-i-fant! *gets coat*
BTW- what are you all doing up this early?
2 sick babies – I’m running on coffee and 1.5 hours of sleep.
Yowza!
*puts on java*
*hands over proplus*
*squeeze*
I couldn’t sleep…boiler starting making weird noises, then the cat starts banging around, and it’s kinda hot.
But, it’s almost 8. Time for breakfast. After seeing this fail, I have a sudden craving for sausages. Not sure why.
Really? I have a craving for elephant meat. I have no idea where that came from.
eek!
Any good hammy??
*tastes*
Yup.
*tastes like custard!
So if this is dessert, what comes next?
Afternoon tea?
Big purple sausage?
*squeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Wake up DW. You fell asleep mid-squeeze!
*squeeze*
*gang squeeze*
G’mornin all!
*morning group squeeze*
*squeezes* all
No funny business; best to let sleeping dragons lie.
*gently and quietly leans against Dragon*
*yaaaawwwn*
It wasn’t your boiler! I wanted some company so I made a little noise.
*that comment or*
Was Boots the cat doing river dances again?
Oh, it’s a U-pick jenny-farm! I’ll take a handful of each, please!
My boiler needs an exorcist. It does this every summer and keeps getting worse. The service people can’t figure it out. Grrrrr.
I hope you brought your own bags.
*or*
shoulda got a maytag
…nice
…entice?
… eat rice?
… beat mice?
itchy lice
Smirnoff Ice
peachy pie slice
Throw of the dice?
…but at what price?
*must refrice*
Think twice!
*cuts ham* wanna slice?
Licorice.
Yack! That’ll suffice.
I’VE GOT LICE!!!!
HAAHAA sucker…. eh.. ice…? xP
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER ! ;D
looks very tempting
Watch it, I hear they sting.
You’ll never forget the experience!
Seriously, what is up with that? Is it trying to inhale a bowling ball or something?
Maybe it is for playing ring-toss?
That’s a sheepish grin; he got caught doing mushrooms.
You can’t see the mark, ’cause that monkey’s already blue
Looks like an updated version of Sit ‘n Spin.
The snout was a leftover from a previous production.
A brilliant day at the factory:
Oh no, the economy has slowed the purchase of purple wangs. What to do? What to do? I know we can bend them and use them for elephant trunks.
Inspired recycling- but where are the rabbits?
the factory is rabbit-powered
Do they have little wheels to run in to generate electricity then?
There’re for the hamsters and gerbils.
“Bend them”? You mean all wangs aren’t curved like that??
some go the other way too!
The smirk on its face seals the deal. I’m leaving now. :[
Wait! Don’t forget your toy…
Maybe you’d like to ride away on an elephant!
Nooo, I want none of this hanky-panky business! D8
You just wanna D8 ?
Ahhhh, no! *flees*
*smacks Aaron on the forehead*
Coulda had a D-8!
My fleas are trained!
*reveals flea-circus*
Big top and everything- how do you do it Jenny
*sits down to watch show & chomps popcorn*
*breaks out k@ ‘o nine tails and tophat*
So, does this thread need a Ringmaster?
Only if you do the moustache twiddle!
Oh! And here’s me thinking our star attraction, Jen, would be clean shaven O.o
But Jen isn’t a flea, I thought this was a flea circus……..oh….um
*pouts*
Oops, my bad! Of course they’ll need habitat!
*Examines my top* yes, it’s big
*checks for mustache* nope
*snork!*
*queues up Joe Walsh’s ILBT’s, AC/DC’s “Big Balls”, and Spinal Tap’s “Big Bottom” on iPod*
Turns up Queen’s Fat Bottom Girls.
♪ My love is in league with the freeway ♪
♫ Come on and take a free ride. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫
Considering the blue monkey on the left, I think these toys are on Viagra
LOL…thats exactly what I thought…
I think the guy on the box is playing charades. My guess is ‘big giant crabs’.
I am gonna plump for “godzilla”
Paul McCartney or Jimi Hendrix eating a kebab.
can I go again?
“Airport landing lights”
‘the reamer!’
‘screamer’?
Sorry.
I think I see the fail here: Due to lax hunting laws, poachers have stolen this elephant’s tusks to sell on the ivory black market. When will we learn to stop exploiting these innocent toys for our personal gain?
When we stop buying them.
tusk tusk tusk
*tickles the ivories while singing*
♪ Ebony and ivory! Together in perfect harmony! ♫
careful…..Still attatched to my face there Brewski!
Is he playing hands free?
*snork*
*trumpets!*
*bugles*
*honks*
*quacks*
cleans ears out…..that’s not right
*toots*
*opens window*
*jumps out window*
Geronimooooooo!
I need somebody to join to play the harmony part. But I don’t believe you are properly equipped.
I can play piano!!!
*jumps onto piano seat, starts randomly banging the keys*
klunk, bonk, bing ,klop, dum, blop!!!! yay !! this is fun!!!!
And what are you doing to that tree?
*puts tree back carefully, as to not offend*
Oh, and I thought you were just happy to see me!
3 simulataneous posts, and the all rhyme!
See?
yippeee!
Wheeeee!
*cleans up whee*
an elephants work is never done.
an Antechinus’ work is often fun!
a marathoner works on the run.
a Failblogger works on the pun!
Betty works with the gun.
In thirty minutes my work day is done!
This Failblogger’s love is earned, not won.
you have much to learn, young one.
that as well! *squeeze*
The elephants are certainly happy to see us.
*squeeze*
Everyone’s happy to see you, Brewski!
Top o’ the morning to you Ms B!
*smooch*
I gave someone a “top o’ the morning” greeting today too. I think we are spending to much time together Brewski
I wish kids knew how to sleep in. Don’t they know I was out late for a change? The nerve!
*good morning squeeze*
*nods* Mine are programmed to expect pancakes on the weekend…the things we do!
♫ The things we do for love. . . ♫
mmmm no need to get in a flap!
So you would ‘debate that?
nope- my ears took off!
But you’re so switched on – you’re no dumbo!
I seen a house fly….
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly…
Perhaps she’ll die.
I know an old lady who swallowed a spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
*whispers* She was a little crazy.
This toy encourages weighing animals down with too many of our own burdens! Just look at all those ridiculous baskets – if full, the poor creature would collapse! D8
(This is a JOKE…. JUST in case someone takes me seriously.)
I, as a part time Elephant do not agree with your assessment of that situation.
I carry far more than that so ner!
*fills K@’s baskets w/ cotton balls*
ooooooohh fluffy, thanks Jenny!
Do you take offense at “trunk” jokes? xD
….no
the fences stay where they were…..*is confused*
*Fences fence*
everybody looks very happy humm…
I wonder what the’re so happy about
The funny little monkey is turning away in fear!!!!
Wrong! He is assuming the position.
…That’s something he’ll be feeling weeks from now. D8
I just wish Mike Mozart would get ahold of that… um … thing for a toy review. I can only imagine what he would have to say about it!
I wonder what they did to the tip of elephant #2?
Nipples!
Oooo, is this the random erogenous zone thread?
***
Anterior fornix!
Anteater Horlicks!
Is that FailDonald’s? Because if it is, it gives a brand new meaning to ‘I’m lovin’ it”
Considering the situation, the slogan should now be “I’m failin’ it”
agreed
its a great toy, once kids have finished with it, mummy can start playing with it
haha. i dont want dat trunk anywhere near MY trunk
Is it more disturbing to anyone else that the trunk is made to move?
I was trying not to notice *shudders*
Thanks for the psychological trauma.
A trip to Fail Blog is incomplete until you feel the need to lose your breakfast.
Bit late for me- more like lunch!
As long as you’re urged to empty your stomach.
*Barf* I’m loving this Fail Blog diet! I’ve already dropped a dress size!
Welcome to the Failblog Bulemic Association! Grab a bukkit and join the fun!
*grabs bukkit*
*Barfs*
What fun! Bleah.
I was going to give you a smooch, but… eeww.
*hands Lurk a toothbrush and some mouthwash*
Thanks. I see from down there vvv that you need them, too.
*hands Brewski a different toothbrush & mouthwash*
Thanks Dr. Freud!
*gargles* *spits*
*spit forms strange abstract, but familiar, pattern in sink*
Look! It’s Elvis holding a tennis racket, and riding on a goat! This means something, I just know it!
(Whoops! Name change fail!)
I think it means you need a smooch!
*smooch*
Whoa! Hey! Did you use that mouthwash yet???
*sniffs* Whew, minty fresh!
*smooches back*
I’m off to run errands. See if you can get that elephant to relax his trunk a little.
*hands lurk cold teaspoon*
this should work!
*takes teaspoon*
*puts teaspoon up elephant’s bum*
*waits*
It doesn’t seem to be working.
ow…..not me- the purple one-
Whoops! Sorry.
*removes teaspoon & puts it up purple elephant’s bum*
So that little blue butt plug monkey bothers you, then?
*barfs*
Oh my…that was my dinner.
*breaks out the shamwow*
first time today- impressive!
I’ve got dibs on the carrot bits!
do you want a fork with that?
…but you always get to use the straw! *pouts (in a blokey, nut-adjusting kinda way*
OK then- do you want the curly straw or the bendy straw?
I’m usually happy with a roll in the straw, berry!
*marvels at BonnaBid’s diet*
You’re bananas!
You’re peaches!
Orange you glad I am working on a Saturday!
Of course lime happy! We make a nice bawdy pear!
Kumquat may eh!
I was berry glad to see you this morning! Sick babies just don’t appreciate my humor in the middle of the night
Sick babies have a tendency to squash any humor.
Oh great…Failblog is morphing from sexual innuendo run rampant, to a gross out fest!!
*urp!*
*runs to nearest toilet*
But that’s the beauty of this place! Every day a surprise. Not all of them…. happy.
*lays back, mouth open*
Ok, Brewski I’m ready…waste not, want not!
*Did not need the forcible reminder of really really bad video*
I think I’m going to be turning green here soon!
Two boys, one… er… mouth?
*turns green again*
I think I saw a DVD like that.
Hehe, morning team
I was gonna mention brussell sprouts, but that would’ve been over the line.
Photoshop fail (the another elephalic is different).
Yes as I said- It has a nipple instead- good grief
*sigh
The third one has an anus. It’s bad when it takes peanuts from your hand.
Though no worse than an actual starfish (rathey than the chocolate kind that is) weird little blighters- nave no anus, so regurgitate their stomachs to cover their food, then drag it back inside, and sick up all the bits they don’t want!
Yummy!
Gotta love nature…..or not!
*retracts hand hastily*
*stops doing balance-the-peanut-on-the-nose trick*
Not Photoshopped, not even a little bit. I was there when we unpacked that round of prototypes and I took that photo, although I did not submit it here.
In both cases whether it’s an elephant’s trunk or not, when you rub it, it squirts stuff out.
Hum. If you have a dirty mind, it looks like a penis. If you don’t have a dirty mind, it look like an acorn.
*shrug*
….and if you are completely loony it looks like Ghandi- who would have thought it eh?
Guess which one I see?
Ghandi. You’re definitely a loony!
*roffles*
Hey, I resemble that remark!
I think it looks like a beer stein. Analyze THAT, Freud!
*eyes Brewski*
Tell me about your mother.
I’d rather talk about you! When did you get a sex change, Dr. Freud? Did you not identify with your penis? Or perhaps your wife envied it?
*ignores fact that Dr. Freud is dead*
*takes notes*
I sense a little hostility.
Hmmm. We’d best check you Id.
…butt my r’s ^ will be fine, tenkew!
*Thinks DrB is from Brooklyn*
No.
Sleep.
‘Til Brooklyn!
~BBs
*roffles* I miss funnyboi
Desperate times call for desperate measures. After the U.S. government rejected the adult industry bailout, sex toy manufacturers have been forced to break into the under-12 market.
*considers Catholic priest joke*
*nixes idea*
Bad touch! Bad touch!
♪ You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery channel♫
Bad earworm! You’re grounded!
*pouts*
Brewski started it!
It’s still your fault for singing it. Brewski did not sugget an earworm.
Yes, he did. The name of the song is Bad Touch. So there!
*sticks out tongue at BonnaBid*
♫ If we could talk to the animals. . . ♫
When you said you had a “lotta junk in your trunk”, that’s not really what I was thinking…….
He’s carrying a big load.
A friendly elephant with a special ability to unclog toilets can never be a fail.
BTW, regarding all those phallic comments here, why not have a Phallblog?
wow this tread is full of pun runs!!! yay!!!!!
Looks like a Phail to me. . .
It could be a win depending on who buys the toy….
*sigh* Yet another fail about something that resembles a penis.
My brother tells me it’s the best gift I ever got for my niece. She loves it.
Phailic win.
It can jizzes by his nose, pure win.
i think that it is supposed to be that way so that both the kids and the adults can enjoy it…
A toy your daughter will enjoy her whole life.
I don’t like the looks of that elephant. He seems the type that goes around sticking his nose into every ones business.
*Rimshot*
Coyote ladies and gentlemen!
*Applauds*
xD
… the name sais it xP
Nobody ever said what kind of toy it was…
Can also be used with a Bacon Lube.
any regular toy can be turned into a sex toy…location location location!
how is this a fail??? elephant trunks by their very nature look like giant penises.. there’s nothing you can do about it! except genetically reengineer them to look less phallic
ha ha!….wait…how’s that a fail?
it might look less fake if you shopped the elephant in the back too
fun to play with when she’s young, even more fun once she gets older
Fun for children and mommies alike!
god at some point they’ll be putting up shoes and saying FAIL because they’re oblong just like a penis or something
why did i get a “increase you penis size” ad lmao
this picture sucks
i’ve seen enough of these
Looks like he fell forwards while doin’ it.
Then he couldn’t breathe, and that’s how he turned purple.
hehe
i don’t get it. what’s wrong?
hey, the monkey doesn’t seem to mind.
lol it looks like a doodle
its fake!!!!! look at the reflection in the mirror
There’s no mirror. Just two different versions of the prototype next to each other.
Its a ring toss game, My sister had one and played with it late at night alone.
Well it looks like a D*** what a elephant
So appropriate for women
Well lonley women
yes, this is clearly a fail.
Epic Win !!!
That’ll hit the spot!