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Judy hi! Are how you?
I give you both ONE squeeze each.
*squeeze Judy*
*squeeze Malicite*
Rationing the squeezes today? What happened?
*applies for ration book*
*Joins the queue for ration books*
You have not filled out the application correctly. You are denied. NEXT!
Nooooooo!
*Runs off into woods to live as a savage and steal other people’s squeezes at night*
get a life people^^
:stare:
+1
TROLL INFESTATION!!!!!
Nothing gives me quite so much joy as when people tell me they’ve had their pets spayed or neutered.
Nothing gives me quite so much joy as when people tell me they’ve had their trolls spayed or neutered.
*Ushers Bob back inside*
Take it easy Bob. That’s enough excitement for on day.
*sues Barker for sexual harrassment*
Marius, dude is senile. He repeats himself and keeps pinching the model’s a$$es.
No worries Leila his barkers worse than his bite.
*snork*
But wait! I didn’t find out what the prize is on the showcase showdown yet! Don’t tell me we have to find Drew Carey and ask him!
*gives Bearly a 15 year old dog*
Here you go. He has no teeth and has a flatulence problem but is otherwise neutered.
Poor Drew. Whatever he is now paid I’m sure he now thinks the price is wrong.
*free squeeze* black market squeezes over here…
Me me me!
*jumps up and down excitedly*
I went to an outdoor concert recently, and I swear there must have been a hundred people with “FREE HUGS” either on a sign or written on their shirt. Is this becoming a major fad or what?
I have no idea… I work so much, I never really see the outside world. Also, I don’t have television, so I’m really in the dark. *squeeze*
I have a TV, but no cable and no antenna. I only watch movies. So I miss a lot of the references on this blog.
You need a better job with less hours!
How you doin’ with the digital switch there, Brew?
You application has been approved. Expect your 1 squeeze in 2013.
2013 does not exist.
Then arrival will be on the next available date.
or the NEXT, next available date.
*squeeze aiki* You cute mischievouslittle tiger you!!!
You made me lol there.
Leila, apparently you and I have differing opinions on how these applications are to be completed!
*squeeze*
*Sneaks up to steal squeeze*
No need to steal.
*freely gives squeeze*
I stopped stealing when I returned to civilization. *Returns squeeze with just enough gusto that Judy doesn’t get hurt*
Oh good — I need lots of squeezes today!!! Dealing with my 14 year old son is not fun these days. i know he is very sick (in hospital with leukemia) — but still …. Actually it is not him as much as his dad (my ex) — soooooo….. send me all squeeses youcan spare — i hpe to be completely squozen by the end of the day!!!
Separates you and can *knock it off I told you two to get a room) … capitalize all those silly i’s and chuck an “o” after the h in hpe … *phew – should have taken that typing class I think so … *
Consider yourself squozen!
*sendig some extra joy your way!*
*gives Elsa gigantic super-SQUEEZE*
Hang in there!
*squeeze* I hope things get better for you.
*Offers big squeeze*
That’s really rough. I hope things get better for your son (and you) and that we make you laugh a little today.
*Squeezes Elsa_Mama*
I hope everything works out okay.
I came to my senses. See V …
I’m fine, and squeezes to both!
And everyone else!
In the entire world!
I’m feeling generous today!
It’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and I’m happy!
*Does the dance of miscellaneous joy*
*steals a little of Judy’s happiness*
Share the love Judy.
I am loving your attitude today. I am actually feeling the same way. We are here to enjoy yet another day!
*squeeeeze*
I’m hoping that your happiness will rub off on me.
*vigorously rubs Ms B*
Sexual innuendo comment in 2, 1, 5 …
you need more coffee. …
*gets out video camera*
*climbs on aiki, rides to the scene of the crime to help film*
*climbs on Jenny*
*slips between Leila and Jenny*
*simultaneously squeezes both in one tricky manuever*
Eeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
*squeeze Brewski and POUNCE* Hello!!
I think we squished Aiki!
*bellyflop squeeze on all those above this post (except the trolls)*
.
It’s a fly-by squeeze today. Boss is on a rampage so I’ll be hiding under my desk for most of the day.
*stops rubbing Ms B – notices menage a trois (sp?) – drags Ms B over and joins in happily*
Um, do you have tiger reanimation dust as well?
Judy, if you cease rubbing then why are we piling up on each other … ?
What just happened?
*feels like he was just hit but a bunch of enthusiastic Failbloggers*
*Is loving it*
I have no idea what’s going on, but isn’t it great???
Kinda like an early Cuddle Puddle!
*squeeeeeeezies and cuddles for everyone*
Weeeee!!!
Wait, I missed velvet??
Well, Brewski, you were there, but I think you were kind of at the bottom of the puddle. It’s hard to see the disco lights when you’re being squished.
It’s like the ’60s all over again…
a bunch of free love – and nobody knows what’s going on.
Oh Aiki — I am glad you survived — I was just about to dive in and see if I could find you at the bottom there — I was all prepared to give you mouth to mouth resusitation too ….
*hands aiki special meds that will temporarily simulate death, but with no lasting ill effects*
Psst! Thought you might want this!
Oh no — Aiki is mostly dead! *starts pounding on his chest, then realizes he isn’t breathing and gives mouth to mouth resusitation***
… 20 minutes later….. Uh, Aiki, are you alive again yet??? Hey — anybody what to helo here, he is still mostly dead!!
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/fda_approves_depressant_drug_for
Oh I can’t do this.
Unlimited MEGA SQUEEZES to Judy, Malicite, k@, Bearly and everyone!!!!!!
*Returns to civilization with relief*
It’s rough out there!
wooooo hoooooo, *squeezes* for Leila for her squeezie generosity
Hurray! *squeezes*
Thanks Leila!
You are welcome Everyone.
Counting is a difficult science at times.
Science isn’t difficult – especially if you have the hots for the teacher.
Having the hots for the teacher may work, but when the teacher has the hots for you… My old high school band director was recently arrested (in another county) for taking indecent liberties with a minor. *Shudders a little*
*shudders*
Yeah, that’s completely different. Creepy.
Did you say Hot for Teacher?
♥ that song!!!!!
Van Halen rocks!!!
Clicky for parody by Spinal Tap.
This is truly embarrassing, this ATM machine is in my country- Portugal. I think it’s the first fail I see from this slice of earth on FAILBLOG, but we have plenty of them here. I wonder who bothered to write the correct order in marker… FYI ERRADO means WRONG
actually there was another one that I know of. it was from some show on TVI. I think that if you search “lipsynching fail” it should turn up
TVI is definitely Portuguese!
Weee… e Portugal volta a brilhar!!
I’m glad to see a lot of Portuguese fellows around
We’re around… We just don’t comment much
we’re hidding , waiting for the perfect time to post a comment and rule the world…
For sure the world will be ours… once again!
Someday…
Surely…
ainda tinhas duvidas disso?
That’s how we count in my office.
Local customs fail!
You’re out of order sir.
*puts Moomin back in order*
Try now Marius.
*joins end of the queue*
*taps foot impatiently*
*Squeezes into queue*
Is this the line for ordering Moomins?
Yes. We have a limited amount of Moomins today. Must purchase immediately. The original Moomin is mine.
*Feeling protective over Moomin after the last fail*
I only poached him for a little while! Sheesh!
We’re reformed, promise! My fingers aren’t even crossed!
How could you poach MY property? *looks over Moomin* And why????
He was running wild and I have a license.
A license to poach …
my, my…Moomin? 
Relax Leila — he was dirty and they just gave him a nice warm bath — they did not know he was so tender skinned that it would paoch him. But on the bright side — now he is very clean and much more tender! Just be careful when you squeeze him …
sneaks up thread and grabs that goofy paoch and replaces it with a poach … *hopes no one notices my baaaaaaad typing today*
Good, I have a limited amount of magic Moomin Reanimation Dust.
*sits down to count*
1, 2, 3, 5
*gets in line* I have no idea what this incredibly long line is for, but it must be good. *waits patiently*
*joins queue*
I heard this was the line for Linkin Park tickets?
*hops in line as well, now ten people behind Brewski and Katz*
Shouldnt have waited so long to join the line for free butter on a stick…curses.
Yes. So what are you doing here, old man?
Name failing like myself?
*siiiigh*
It’s what you do best and why we love you AE
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Although I thought you love me for my humour, intelligence and style. Then again, I thought my gf loves me for that; turned out it was just my wealth.
You have wealth?
*bats eyelashes at Arthur*
What’s happenin’ Hot Stuff?
*lines up after Ms B*
*throws cash out of private helicopter window*
Sorry, but I gotta fly!
Wait! Come bac..
*watches AE parachute to ground*
Damn, lost another one.
*pushes Ms B into ditch*
Git outta the way – I saw him first!
*squeezes*
Arthur, you’re wealthy?
I love you!
Ack!!! Refresh, refresh, refresh!
*headdesk*
Yes, I’m really rich. Compared to poor people in Bangladesh, that is.
Crap. *joins in the refresh dance with Brewski*
Guess it’s just you and me, chum.
Can you lend a lady bus fare to get home?
There are getting to be more and more wealthy people in Bangladesh nowadays. There are California-style suburbs sprouting up. In some ways, I don’t believe that’s a good thing. The USA is not a good model. Unless you’re into unsustainable over-consumptive habits. There must be a happy medium!
I’m broke too Judy, I guess we’ll just have to camp out here together! Fortunately, it’s a really comfy tent.
*points to king size bed with designer decorating, music, and full climate control*
Swank digs, there, Brewski!
Is it true money can buy you happiness ?
Yes, Happiness charges $50 for the first hour, or all night for $90. But she’s worth every penny!
Well, it still can’t buy me love.
True, Love got arrested in a prostitution sting. Damn, she was good though!
Name your price WhoeNellie and Brewski will pay it.LOL
Just listening to Coldplay on my iPod…
Thank you for playing, sir.
Now, who’s our next contestant?
Come on up, don’t be shy!
may I suggest Mark Sanford?
Ah, you must contract with AIG.
*hides, knowing she fields calls for their legaldepartment*
This is rather confusing
It’s easy. 4 and 5are beside themselves because 7 8 9.
5 4 6 4eva N eva
*carves heart shape around cash machine*
That’s 3 more than I !magined but hey… as long as they’re girls, right?
*squeeze to the cute little sponge*
*squeeze*
*leaks wine*
*queefs wine*
No, quaffs.
*scootches*
*wines that Moomin queefed*
*is disturbingly impressed*
A queefing Moomin???
*sucks Betty for wine*
Wooohuuuuuu!!!!
That’s not the wine!
OH my! all the queefing, leaking and sucking – it’s like a reality TV show.
Oh we have sooo much more class than a “reality” show.
Maybe I should leave then…
No! Don’t leave! I love me some Jenny in the morning!
*Pours MsB a fresh cup o’ Jenny, while singing*
“The best part of waking up!”
Is Jenny in your cup….????
Mmmmm. Refreshing!
Two jennys, one…..
oh, sorry.
I’d like some Jenny in the morning too!
Damn, I think I said that out loud again!
*gives self 5 lashings*
Brewski — you are suppose to punish yourself for errors — not do something you like!! *makes Brewski look away from Jenny and Ms. B for 5 minutes*
You’re sounding like my Mom again! Stop that!
Oh sorry — see why my son gets mad at me!!!! Go ahead Brewski and beat yourself silly — here met me help *picks up cat o nine tails* do you prefer me to start on the front or the back?
Or, LET me help – whichever you prefer …. Brewski’s choice
Not…wine?
Oh well … *keeps sucking*
HA! I still love that one.
*wonders where the pretty Katz girl went*
I just wanted a change. She’ll be back.
I though the alien ate her.
Don’t worry, GIR mostly just eats tacos.
Oh and tuna.
Oh and cupcakes…
And taquitos. And a clown with no head.
slightly wonky- but workable!
I just wonder if the numbers displayed on the buttons are really what shows up on the screen, or if it’s like a hotel that has mixed up the hot and cold knobs but not the actual hot and cold water pipes…
we may be getting to the head exploding realms of possibilities here!
GBF will be by shortly to implode the universe. Thank you for your patience.
*waits with baited breath*
*removes bait*
“waits with breath” ???
The bait didn’t taste nice, so I sacrificed common sense and grammar…..sorry
*Tosses Judy a mullet*
Here you can use this for bait.
Why do you want Judy to have a bad hair day?
*honk!!!* Thanks, Moomin!
Because I love her. and here is a new mullet toss video:
I like the fact you imply there are older mullet toss videos. I like a world where people video themselves throwing fish.
Agreed.
Oh, and I’m sorry for trying to cook you earlier, Moomin. *Peace squeeze?*
I can understand that after coming out of hibernation you would be hungry.
*squeeze*
The life of a professional mullet tosser must be quite hectic.
Clicky for the ‘older’ mullet toss video. This is an annual event so there are probably lots of videos. This is the funniest one I have found though.
Gee, thanks for sharing, Jenny.
Interesting, but I still prefer tossing bad wigs over slimy dead fish. Who comes up with these sports anyway?
The Germans.
(Luv’n you, Arthur!)
*Sits on stern of fail boat with chum*
Spots a great white
Arrg! There be Moomin here.
We need a bigger boat.
Are you saying this tophat makes my bum look big?
Everything looks big to a dinghy.
It’s not the size of the Moomin, it’s the motion of the ocean!
Not yer Bum Moomin …
Uhhh… please to excuse that teeny tiny lolspeak slip up there… I’m switching back and forth and my brain is just a bit confoozeled ….
*squeeze*
Admittedly, I do have a humongous conk.
Really???! I thought it was just the hat making it LOOK humongous … *squeeze*
It could have been worse. It could have been a ten key.
ten key ray?
a fine drink.
How would the keypad work if one is dyslexic?
Just about perfectly?
mroe than liekly.
Sooo… you’re going to do your remote banking… with a machine that can’t count?
…..you are going to do any banking- none of them can count, current economic issues anyone!
Are you saying this is the *GASP!!* cause of our economy issues? Are you?
err, yes, yes I am.
NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Yes, it’s true. We’ve found the fail that destroyed the world.
I ROFL’d a little at that! Good one!
Ahahah that’s why i love portugal
I think it’s more like brazil….
come on! take a look on the keyboard! Our currency in Brazil is not EURO and Brazil is not in EUROPE…
*looks at a map gazing between Brazil and Europe*
By Gawd…I think he’s on to something!
thats not the map i bought.
*stamps foot and does the “Aww shucks” hand movement* And I was about to walk to brazil from here in the UK too…
Oh… this says its a map of Pangaea.
*repeats “Aww Shucks”*
Well tarnation! Qwaz! Just take the bridge! It’s a hike, but, if there is a will, there is a way!
I don’t really care where he’s going to.
Hi! I heard someone was looking for me?
Hi. How do?
i will persevere! Thank you for this Encouragement Mal!
*eyes Q suspiciously*
Hmmm…
Looking at trolls for too long may cause temporary blindness. Just sayin’.
We have a welding mask for that. Last seen in Malicite’s possession.
*grabs welding mask from Mal and contines to stare @ Q*
*creates a makeshift welding mask for himself and stares back*
Leila is not a troll, buster! You take that welding mask and give it to someone looking at you!
Well, at least he’s improved from yesterday. There may be hope yet. Fruitcake started like this, but ended up okay. Speaking of which, I don’t believe he’s been around lately?
Brewski. Always the optimist.
Among other things…
*Slightly Perturbed by Lielas Gaze, Looks down in shame but isnt sure why*
i agree… portugal rules!
Ironic, isn’t it?
No.
*irons her undies*
What’s with the pistol?
Troll breakout at the Fail Room
Ah. I was just wondering. Huston sounds too close to Houston and peeps out here are a little whacky. Are you licensed to carry this thing in here?
Yes. (Oh wait, That AKA Huston thing was from another fail.)
May I see your license please?
*shows gun licence*
*studies licence*
Sir, this is a picture of Mickey Mouse on the document. Is this some kind of joke?
no.
I think you need heavier artillery than a pistol. Do we have a tank, by any chance?
We have a tank filled with BaconLube. Is that the kind of tank you are referring to?
It’s highly flammable … so it does.
*watches as troll slides out of room*
hmmm, needs work, but the concept is solid.
Can we build a giant bacon lube slide with a pool of sharks at the bottom?
Can the sharks have lasers?
Sharks do not like trolls. It’s bad for their digestive system. Maybe something else?
Dinosaurs?
Pit of hungry zombies?
Hungry Troll Zombies?
Oooohh, I like it!
Cannibalism win win!
Hey, we’ve got one already! I wonder if he has friends that he can bring next time.
But it took us so long to get ZA trained. How on earth could we possibly train Troll Zombies to keep things neat and tidy when gorging on brains?
Oh, you mean the zombies are trolls. My apologies. But if ZA bites them, do they not become zombies, too? Or is Shaun of the Dead all lies?
ZA was a troll?
I didn’t think so, either. But I think he can turn trolls into hungry troll zombies if he can hold back and bite without fully eating the brains.
I wasn’t calling ZA a troll. I was simply saying it took long enough for us to train a nice zombie, I don’t want to invest the extra time to train troll zombies…*shudder*
As long as theres Giant Scissors at the bottom. No Slide is complete without Giant Scissors
You frighten me.
No but I am stocking up. Shotgun, anyone?
*removes fishies*
heres one!
No, I was asking if anyone wanted one.
Are you trying to get us jailed? I don’t make a very good lesbian. I don’t want to be jailed.
First off, I am a male. Second of all, does anyone want a shotgun?
I didn’t say you were female.
Oh forget the shotgun part. (mumbling) just trying to give some guns out so people can protect themselves from trolls (/mumbling
then what did you mean at the previous post.
oh forget wait I said the last…4 posts or whatever theyr’e called here.
Look, if you want to be locked up, that’s one thing, but Leila just isn’t cut out for the women’s prison, especially since they got that government grant to provide more potatoes to the other prisoners…
*Is confused* WHAT?
*points gun to head* *kills self*
Nooooooo! Please tell me you’ve been using GBF’s body doubles!
*isn’t dead* I just wanted to….give people some protection from….trolls….*dies*
Who is going to clean up all this brain matter?
*crickets chirping*
*body gets stolen by trolls*
*appears 30 minutes later with forehead bandaged, a bloody knife and is using a rifle as a cruch*
That was quick. It’s like the action movies where the hero gets fatally shot and then seems perfectly fine 5 mins later.
*walks over to Bearly Awake* The trolls are coming. *passes-out*
Who died and left me in charge? *Looks down* Oh. Guys, I don’t know how to handle this!
*collects Corn DNA*
*creates clone*
I shall call him CORN 2.0!
*wakes up but is still on ground* gather everyone get the Spam Police too…..
oh and KatsVonD, your clone failed.
Oh. I thought you died. *looks at Corn 2.0* What am I gonna do with him?
Sell them to Montgomery Burns!
and by them, I mean him.
Oh and by the way, who is GBF?
*Pushes clone down the bacon lube slide*
What? We needed to test it anyway!
*Loads rifle* What? The trolls are coming.
How does one get an image instead of those random dots?
Who spilled all this green corn all over this thread?
Clean-up on aisle 7, sheesh.
Green corn?
I think I’m going to be sick.
*runs for bathroom*
maybe they read numbers different out there… or some people dont understand the concept of numbers.
much like those who don’t understand the concept of fail and win
‘or some people dont understand the concept of numbers.’ Said a person called si1versmith.
Oh the irony of this is so delicious that I may vomit.
*offers the bukkit and nods with sympathy*
*Stands Idly by, waiting for some kind of confrontation*
Realizes there will be no confrontation and goes to wait in line with katz and brewski
Oh no, not a bukkit!!! If it was a bucket we would be safe — but bukkits always bring the dreaded lolrus, who spends all his days sad and crying and looking for his lost bukkit ….. *hides*
fair point, old habbit, i just use the same nickname, some n00b stole silversmith on xbox live… so i was stuck with this one.. if only
Of course it’s Portuguese. hahahaha Who else would’ve done that?
What’s with the bashing?
Usually bruising at some point.
*Snickers*
Hungry? Why wait?
*Squeeze*
Nom nom nom!
Estou feliz que não pensaram que era espanhol!!! hehheh Já é um grande acontecimento para a humanidade!
I guess that makes it all okay then.
This is from the same school that brought you June-August-July.
THAT’S NUMBERWANG!
*count(s)down the time before Googling that*
4 seconds… no… 5…
I think the things I reference don’t exist.
Then I spend my time making up fake webpages going on about them so no-one thinks I’m insane.
On here, it’s only a game, show yourself more credit.
*squeeze*
The games are made up and the points don’t matter!
Hmm, yet another Drew Carey takeover reference! That’s probably the most attention he’s gotten in a long time.
Yeah, I haven’t seen a career drop off like that since David Caruso.
Though first uttered by Clive Anderson in the longer running British version…(I grew up with it)
I know, but it just fit so well to reference the Drew Carey version with the “The Price is Right” segment up there. ^^
You grew up? Nevermind.
……then regressed!
This way to the regress
—————————->
Excellent.
*wanders off through exit*
They probably bought it from the same seller with that great “elas” a couple of fails back.
Everything is written in Portuguese. THEN I saw euros – so it is OBVIOUSLY from Portugal. And they get angry when we Brazilians make jokes of their stupidity… hahaha
hehehhe Great, my countryman!
The brazilian prostitutes that come to Portugal sure love our € and ATMs. Same applies to the thieves and criminals from your beautiful country that arrive here everyday at the airport. It’s like a plague.
You laugh but you love our €.
Please do not post hostile or bigoted comments on this message board. We do not tolerate bigotry on Failblog. Thank you.
Where are these people coming from?
Portugal and Brasil.
don’t cry for me argentina. …
I’m sorry for posting such an hostile comment on Failblog, usually I don’t do that. But there’s a lot of background cultural stuff going on here. As you can see, these brazilian folks post moronic comments firsts, so I guess they deserve to hear some offensive (and true) stuff back at them.
Wisdom can be achieved by overcoming bigotry. You failed at that twice.
I fail at a lot of things everyday. I can live with that..
Sad.
You should really expect more from yourself.
2 wrongs……make a better fail!
And three lefts make a right.
The first amendment to the US Constitution makes 3 rights…?
Tree rights make environmentalists
Three Wongs make a family in China.
Are you trying to say that tree rights make a Wong?
Tree rights on occasion will make a song- see Sting!
Environmentalists make good pies.
4! Speech, press, assembly, and religion! Although you may choose to bundle speech and press, despite the fact that libel and slander are different crimes.
Noone’s complaining about Euros and ATMs. This fail just prove a point that every Brazilian already knew! lol
yup, if it does prove it, how come it’s a brazilian person (yes, you, maria) who doesn’t know how to conjugate a verb in english…? it’s “this fail just proveS a point”. btw, we also have dumb brazilian jokes. why can’t we all accept the fact that we’re all equally dumb?
Você foi tão infeliz no seu comentário! Sim, um brasileiro pode não saber conjugar o verbo “to prove”… Ou uma portuguesa pode não saber ser mais humilde!!
Thank God I don’t live in Brazil. Portugal isn’t perfect, but at least it’s not a third world country.
Strike three. You’re out.
*kicks sand on umpires shoes*
*storms off in a huff*
hmmm… acho que a questão é bem simples aqui, brincadeiras e ofensas deste tipo surgem por causa de pessoas como Maria e BrzilSks… não acrescenta em nada para ambos…
O importante é perceber que são as pessoas que são estupidas e não o país onde vivem…
Sou Brasileiro e escrevo em português não por desconhecimento da lingua inglesa, mas por uma razão da Maria ter sido ridicularizada por ter errado a pronúncia do verbo “prove”… legen, consegue ler o que escrevi sem tradutor? desconhecer uma lingua não faz a pessoa estúpida…
Estamos em um ambiente global aqui no blog e o mínimo que devemos prestar é respeito a todos… isto serve a todos e em especial à Maria e BrzilSks…
Com relação à sermos do terceiro mundo existem diversas questões históricas a que se dá o fato, na próxima vez que utilizar o fato de o Brazil ser de terceiro mundo para ridicularizá-lo, ao menos estude sobre meu país para ter melhores argumentos.
Espero que o resto do mundo não julgue Portugal e Brasil por esta amostra de desrespeito apresentada aqui…
Obrigado,
Nelson Fernando Magri Ferreira
(Sobrenomen ‘Magri’ de descendência Italiana e ‘Ferreira’ de descendência portuguesa)
assino por baixo nando!
sou português, mas estou a pensar seriamente em ser espanhol
hasta
P.S. Ferreira, português, de origem judaica. qdo eles vieram p Portugal, por motivos semelhantes aos q trazem hoje os de leste e do Brasil, para os distinguirmos do resto da população deram-lhes nomes de árvores, frutos, animais, acidentes naturais , etc…
a discriminação já vem de longe
grahsie ash
Sou Brasileiro. Mas se tivesse a infelicidade de nascer em outro país, gostaria que fosse a Espanha também!
taluego!
Grande Nelson!
Concordo contigo Nelson!
O que era pra ser um fail divertido tornou-se num mar de acusações perdidas, e sem fundamentos. Prostituição? Drogas? Colonização? Acho que tudo isso vai além dos propósitos lúdicos do FailBlog… :/
Abraço, meu countryman!
Daniel.
sim, por acaso consigo ler e muito bem… sou portuguesa!
I always used to say that if Brazil is like that it’s because something went bad from THE BEGINNING. Period
Houve um acidente em um pequeno prédio em Lisboa teve 70 feridos e 1 morto, esse morto era justamente Manuel.
O cadaver de Manuel foi enontrado de ponta cabeça e com o dedo indicador apontando para um dos cantos da sala e ao seu lado um estintor de incendio e abaixo do estintor de incendio estava escrito.
“Em caso de incendio vire de ponta cabeça e aponte para chama”.
lol, estintor.
hahahah eStintor!?!?!
Favor não assaCinar a língua pUrtuguesa!
mentira, isso era o que “agente” queria. Deixa lá de fingir que és dum pais civilizado… só depois de aceitarmos que somos pequeninos é que podemos crescer. Nao sejas arrogante, fica-nos mal. Quem faz erros destes tem que aprender muito.
Your €? Did you have done something to have that €? No! You’r lucky that our country is part of Europe. We were pelintras, we are pelintras and we will stay to be pelintras untill we stop to be arrogant and thing we are great
Who’s the stupid one? the keypad was replaced by some joker, asshole! They are not originally like that…
I don’t see the fail. Is it the ‘00′ key? I suppose that’s kind-of a fail, but those keys are actually used on registers where you often have to enter double zeros after the decimal place. I used one all the time when I worked a till for my job back in high school.
I agree. You don’t see the fail.
I love how your comments sound so deadpan in my head.
That’s how I meant it.
That’s what he said. Booby traps! :p
But but but… they all sound like that.
They all sound like Booby traps??
I said Booby traps?
He’s just trying to be a goon!
*tuts at Moomin*
Arthur is a goon with Booby traps?
*traps Arthur’s goon in my boobies*
Wow! I want a bra like yours Judy.
Here, Leila. *hands over spare Trap-a-Goon™ bra*
And don’t forget the special attachments.
Artorius! You mean much in so few words… Hope you are having a good day!
Doin’ my best… Yes, I have!
You?
Doin’ my best in name fails, that is…
*sigh*
No problems here. It seems summer has started without my permission. I’ll need to review my records and discover where my proper complaints should be sent.
Summer? Ah yes, that must be the season we had yesterday. It was confusing; warm, dry and this shiny yellow thing at the sky. Luckily all is back to normal now. (GRRRRRRR!)
Hi Arthur.
I’m going to go to some other fails.
Confirmed.
Get a life – the numbers are wrongly sorted..
LIES!!!
*lies on top*
Hello there.
Well…HELLO!!!
*giggles*
I OBJECT!!!!
Oh, I mean, because I’m not in there too.
There is room for you too Brewski.
Come here.
*scootches*
I brought some chocolate and graham crackers!!
I keep getting et
That’s because you’re so sweet. Like a marshmallow.
*squeezes Moomin*
*licks*
No no no no!!! Chocolate and graham crackers are good together!
What on earth did you think I was implying? Shame on all of you!
*adds extra Moomin-squeeze for good measure*
Mmm… marshmallow-y…
I thought you were wanting something smore?
Ok, I guess we have to have this conversation again.
We do not eat our Fail Blog friends. Honestly, this must stop. We need to protect this endangered species! If you are really hungry and can’t wait, eat the trolls. I know they’re not that tasty, but they are the only living things on this blog you are welcome to eat. Even ZA has more control than you guys, and he’s a ZOMBIE for heaven’s sake!
Get a hold of yourselves people!!!
*looks guiltily at floor*
*shuffles feet*
But…but…but… I’m sorry! I like Moomin!!
Can I let go of myself yet?
I didn’t eat him, I just licked him! Honest.
I’d like to take a bit
e out of him*coughs* of time to think about what Ms B said.*lowers lights* *puts on Barry White* *sets up live video feed*
*puts on mask*
So, who is doing what to whom? *looks @ Brewski and Moomin*
That’s not Moomin. That’s a giant marshmallow shaped cushion. You’ve been had!
*Shrugs* Kinky…but It’ll work. *Continues live feed*
Oh, it’s all so romantic!!
*swoons*
Well, this worked yesterday…
*pops the cap of a bottle of icy cold brewed goodness*
*waves under Brewski’s nose*
*opens one eye*
*sniffs*
Hmm, fuggles hops, pale malts… English ESB, I’d guess… but too cold.
*closes eye, waits for it to warm to cellar temp*
*will never understand why folks drink warm beer*
*Subscribes to Katz’s video channel*
*Advertises video feed on late night TV*
Actually my dear, I believe that this pic was photoshopped — can’t you see all the pixels that are out of place???
I hate it when this happens — comment gets lost behind all the better replies and then it just looks stupid!! I mean I realize it was already pretty stupid — but down here, all by itself like this … *walks off shaking head slowly waiting for a lecture from Brewski on proper commenting*
Why do you think I would ever do that, Elsa?
*squeeze*
nope- Sean of the Dead is remarkably similar to my life!- except I am a girl!
well that was weird- I pressed reply & everything
*goes for a lie down to ponder her idiocy*
*helps k@ bump reply to proper thread*
There that should do it!
*dusts off hands and walks off*
It’s ok, k@. I know where that goes!
*Tosses comment upwards with an abundance of glue attached, hoping it will stick*
We need bigger (glue) guns!
Player 2 has left the game.
“Desenrascanso” in its best!
lolol
mm à tuga
I can’t type in my pin… where is the 0 ?
Dyslexia win.
Take a look at this post and listen “money”, by Pink floyd.
That song has quite possibly the best bassline ever.
PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL!
Rumo ao Mundial…ou não
experimenta: mr.ba.mybrute.com
eh… how’s your world cup team doing?
Our team sucks!
I’m pretty sure the person who wrote that intended for the written keypad to correspond with the other one, not be an operating substitute…
Aaaahhh, no wonder it wasn’t registering my personal security code!!!
fail of brazil.
So which one is the right one?
The one that isn’t on the left.
Brazil…Portugal…play nice… dammit this childish.
*hurls an “is” into his last statement*
*mutters*
Brazil is Portugal?
They’re not going to like that.
Such antagonism between the former colony and the former colonizer! Look at the rest of us – the Brits and Americans get along just fine now, thankyouverymuch!
Nah, the British are crap.
we are the best at failing though!
No! We are!
…..I is a Brit innit
*Headdesk*
*squeeze*
And I think you americans just suck.
Sometimes sucking is a good thing; sometimes not
At those times ducking is also popular!
Welcome to C a n a d a katvonD….+squeeze+
No cry no cry
At least Canada can manage to provide basic health care to the majority of its citizens. Something one of the wealthiest nations in the world is apparently incapable of!
*grumble grumble*
Thanks eh! *squeeze*
Fail of Portugal.
And this blog has the WORST COMMENTS EVER!
Then don’t read the comments, no one’s forcing you to be here.
*hides cattle prod*
.
.
.
.
*wanders of nonchalantly*
Did you hear that?? We’re number 1!!!
*wipes away a tear*
I’m so proud of us!
Lefty keyboard win.
*hopes you’re not an accountant*
So if I read this fail right. 1is3 2is4 4is5 7is9 8is7
PORTUGUESE FAIL!!! I’m sure the there will be people taking more money that they should
R.I.P.
Farrah Fawcett
Unfortunately. Cancer got the best of her
Here’s the story. Clickie. RIP indeed
That’s terrible. I was hoping she could get married to Ryan before she passed. Moment of silence for Farrah please.
Thanks for the clicky and bringing back memories in a short time.
Whoa! When I noticed the “Note bem” I tought it was another brazilian fail (for my disgust) but them I saw the “EUR” think I knew it was Portugal.
*Correction: think = thing. FAIL!
Damn it you people, grow up and enjoy the fail for what it is: Huge vandalism WIN! If you ask me, that’s much funnier than having tags scratched and painted all over the ATM, as those are really disgusting, whereas this one would make my day. Not that it would affect me, thanks, as I touch-type my PIN code anyway… At worst, some unaware elderly people could get the ATM to swallow their cards, and that would be a nuisance, but one doesn’t make some clever vandalism statement without breaking some eggs, amirite?
By the way, I’m portuguese and I’m very aware of the whole colonization and immigration issue… Let me remind you people that Brazil is pretty much like the US in that its people come from various lineages, be they african slaves, european colonizers or indigenous people, and they seem to get along fine. In Portugal there’s not so much diversity, but we’ve always been a country of emigrants (Newark, anyone?) and still receive a lot of immigrants, mostly respecting cultural diversity from overseas. And while it is true that there have been some mild disturbances caused by brazilian thugs and the eastern mob, we (most of us, at least) are smart enough not to generalize and turn innocent, hard-working people into scapegoats.
Let’s just acknowledge the simple fact and sad truth that the portuguese and the brazilian are mutually envious, because the former live in the “first world” amongst their almighty european neighbors, safe from harm in a pretty much “civilized” albeit extremely dull country, while the latter either try to ignore corruption and enjoy their tropical climate and “easy” way of life in their rising super-power of a nation or succumb and go in droves to Portugal in search of a sometimes non-attainable decent standard of living.
Now I’m really generalizing, but this is the gist of it, and if you think about it, it’s perfectly understandable that there are some mounting tensions and, with them, dumb comments here on Failblog from both sides. Kudos to Nelson for trying to talk some sense into those people in our beautiful language.
/rant
rant fail?
tl;dr
You write way too much you silly portuguese person
Yeah, yeah, yadda-yadda, TL;DR… Think I don’t know about all that? I’m a bit self-aware, you know? A 10-line paragraph ought to be a dead giveaway, but I don’t care either way because sometimes, you DO have to write a lot to get your point across.
I’d rather not have to sound so accusative, but it’s not my fault that most people in the intarwebs are too ADD-ridden to stop and think about social and political issues from places farther than the end of their street. I know this forum is public, but if you failed at reading the whole thing you probably weren’t in its intended audience anyway… Maybe I forced you to scroll a few pixels on your browser. Now, now, that wasn’t too difficult, was it?
Hey, I may be a silly person myself, for giving you more than you are willing to receive and expect something else than trollish comments in return, but at least my father isn’t (he’s also not a hamster, for that matter)…
E desculpa lá estar a escrever isto em inglês, sabendo perfeitamente pelo teu nick que és português, mas gostava que estes gajos percebessem que os tugas não são escumalha xenófoba como aquele tipo que fez aqueles lindos comentários, capisce? E sim, prefiro arriscar sendo demasiado sério no FailBlog, o que é receita certa para o desastre.
tl;dr
Brasil
uhull
somos nozes
yet another fine product manufactured in China by prison labor.
Portuguese ATM Rules.
The bank owner died?
LOL
Brasil
uhull
somos nozes[2]
pic text translation:
“NOTE BEM”: LOOK CAREFULLY
“ERRADO”: WRONG
Brazil-il-il-il!
Brasileiros idiotas. Ali diz Euros, foi em Portugal!
Stupid Brazilians. It says Euros, it was in Portugal!
It means the keypad is Out of service, but the rest of the buttons work. It’s not really a FAIL.
Look again.
BTW, I’m Brazilian.
It’s a double fail!!
1- The keypad has the keys in the wrong order
2- The drawn on one is wrong too! It should be
7 8 9
4 5 6
1 2 3
…No.
Wrong! 2- the draw is right!!
This was clearly in mozambique
Knowledge of Portuguese speaking countries win.
only brazilian to write it
it because i love the people of my coutry BRAZIL YEAH!!!!
Currency FAIL…
this keypad is from PORTUGAL, jarks…
look to the left side, and you’ll see EUR
and more… for the love of god, stop with automatic translation… geez
Brasiiil! hahahaha
Ai essas geografias, rapaziada…
Portugal in his best
ahah
Quando eu tenho a oportunidade de zuar um lusitano tem sempre um brazuca -ou vários- pra estragar, né não? ¬¬ FAIL(s) do FAIL!
i don’t think it’s wrong, it was made different to avoid that someone else get your password…
Fantastic!
I suggest you create a fail website just for yourself! Go live in a remote desert, in some way with an internet connection, and masturbate yourself at your own comments!
That should make you happy.
And btw… don’t forget to make the website private… in case a local unfortunately finds it!
Only in Italy would this pass…..
You can tell this is Italy by how they make their “1,s”
(ex. ^)
PORTUGAL for sure!!
Nós e a nossa bela terrinha do Desenrascanso!!
And, if Portugal is crap, watch out, we might fall on top of you!…
Portugal, Europe!! RULE!! The ony thing good about americas is Brasil!…
biba portugal!!!adoro as caixas multibanco!!
ja agora experimentem: simplx.mybrute.com
Quando eu tenho a oportunidade de zuar um lusitano tem sempre um brazuca -ou vários- pra estragar, né não? ¬¬ FAIL(s) do FAIL! [2]
Gostei da última frase do Tuga Man! ;-D
E para os faladores de inglês que não entenderam nada, vão usar um tradudor automático, vão! HOHOHO >:-D
WARNING: Someone tampered that machine and they can eat/steal your credit card and your PIN number.
People saying it’s spanish or it’s italian stop trolling please it’s portuguese and i’m proud, at least we appear on failblog and often xD, and if you don’t believe it learn to read it, and compare with the others languages
Tinha que ser em Portugal hein? Portugal FAIL! xD
You’re brazilian too?
Cool!
Translation:
Note Bem -> Notice that
Errado -> Wrong
loads of brazilians in here!
Daniel.vix
It´s not that much of a fail, because some person did it as a joke, so if anything, it shhould be a win.
A win? Joke or not, it is a FAIL, for sure!
Hoho! This is gere, in Brazil!
Double Fail! It´s there, in Portugal. Not in ‘H’ere!
uahuahauhauhauahau
123
546
987
.0 00
fail
BRAZIL WINS! OOOOOOOOH YEAH!
oh yeah, it just could be portuguese
BRASIL! lol shame.
It’s not Brazil. It’s portugal.
In Brazil MasterCard trademark is MasterCard, but in portugal is Maestro (well one of their trademark there), and the currency here is Real not Euro.
guys, the fail is not what the guy wrote
but the order of the numbers
AND this is NOT Brasil
Brasil use R$(Reais) not Euros
vai toma no cu portugal!!!
vsf diogo filho da puta noob viado
Before you start criticizing people, get your fat ass off that bloody chair and go read something that is not Twilight. In Brazil we don’t use euros, you stupid bastard. We use a different coin. I hope you get hit by a train. (:
eh noiz braziu dinovu seuz bandu di ingreiz felasdapustas!!!