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Cheezburger Company Blog
Hourly rates!
Better on the mattress than in the pants.
How about if I just cream on the linen?
whipped or double?
Hopefully she’ll scream on the mattress!
…
Mike Tyson in Hangover
Cum in and spend the night with us!
Truth in advertising WIN.
The posts at the top of the page aren’t from regulars, and yet they also aren’t trollish.
I sense a tear in the fabric of the space-time continuum.
*uses needle and thread to fix tear*
.
*squeeze* Good morning, hot stuff!
*squeeze*
How’s my favorite disco ball doing today?
Pretty good today! I slept well last night for a change.
.
(new clicky)
.
What’s on the agenda today?
My “Regulars/Trolls” Venn diagram is breaking down. It’s becoming a three ring circus!
It’s always a three-ring circus here.
We have many rings!
I’m a new regular! This one was my 3rd First post
Remember those 7.62mm rounds? *fires one into ClabberHead’s head*
/me is wearing a bullet proof helmet!
Hourly rapes.
I will
Jiz! That sign is a bit sour.
*absorbs Denzel’s boner*
My work here is done. I’ve shocked Granny!
*air punch*
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
*goes back to foetal position and rocks*
as in rocking, not crack cocain
If you say so!
Granny’s not going back to eating pet food again due to monetary needs
Off topic:
Yesterday I asked a patient:”…and when you were working in the garden, did you hang your genitals in the bushes?”.
*roffles*
I don’t even want to know what his condition was!
you could always look in the bush to find out
That’s some low swinging lips!
good for stealth pee
What happens when you’re done? Do you tuck them back in with bicycle clips?
i usually just let them hang, but they get stuck in the bicycle chain sometimes
So that’s why your lips look chewed!
inner tension
Nothing wrong with a bit of chum!
….to attract the strays
How we doing on the “rudest thread” contest? It seems to have gone quite quiet around here, must be working
Well, if you do need to
get your rocks offget off the rock, those strays aren’t going to help you.I think we’re doing just fine!
*nods*
*squeezes*
*disappears*
*sponge squeeze*
*queefs*
I gotta learn to keep that in.
It’s a typical female problem when I’m present.
Arthur, are you implying you’re not large enough to fill the hole?
No, I meant women are soaking when… I’ll go to my corner.
LOL!
*queef*
Now where is that Arthur? he must be around here somewhere
*squeef!*
I’m not touching this one with a stolen 10ft pole.
I’m not sure a tall, kidnapped, Polish guy would want to touch it either.
Good morning! Glad I finished eating breakfast before seeing this thread…
*pat pat pat*
Maybe we should try to make this the most disgusting thread of the day.
*wipes cream off lip*
now there’s a challenge!
You missed a bit of chocolate there… *points*
oops must have picked it up at the ATM
Around The gluteus Maximus?
deposit withdrawl
deposit withdrawl
deposit withdrawl
deposit withdrawl
deposit withdrawl
cha ching!
That’s a new meaning for ‘hole in the wall’!
glory hole?
have you seen Ricky Gervais, Politics I think it was when he talks about holes in the wall at the toilet?
bit of unsuspecting father and son bonding going on hahaha!
Sorry, I just tried to find it but can’t.
He is funny though.
sorry it was from his fame standup act, quite disturbing, basically the father and son are in adjacent cubicles and they only dicover this after they both leave together NASTY!
Wait, I’ll help you.
*wipes brown stuff of Granny’s face*
*puts finger in mouth*
I say, that’s not chocolate!
Sweetcorn flavour?
Corn! Corn?! Bloody corn! i haven’t eaten it in years, but always CORN!!
*runs away screaming*
*returns the mattress that was stuck on my back*
pocket coil
You shocked Denzel’s boner too, now there’s all cream on the mattresses!
Is that an order?
Yes! Now drop an give me 20… mls.
drop trousers, or drips?
*starts crawling enthusiastically, genitals rubbing against ground*
Oh yessss!
hahahaha!
*pictures*
Oh my word! I haven’t laughed so much since this morning.
*eyes leak*
Czuhc, if you ever do any gynecologist work and you have a beautiful patient in the stirrups you should look at her with a worried expression and say:
“miss, it looks bad, I think i’ll have to numb it”
num num num num
*stops crawling*
*looks up*
Hahaha!
Same goes for proctologist work?
*continues crawling*
*leaves a glistening snailish trail*
*follows close behind cleaning up the trail with a shamattress*
*leaves own snail trail*
So, that’s ten miles already, better go back now.
*starts crawling backward*
Oops, strange feeling in the rear!
*stays perfectly still*
You are really pushing your luck today!
*really disappears*
I can’t help which Fails erupt.
id prefer it in my cup but….still sounds delicious.
??
One sweet sugar then cream on your mattress, is all needed
for one night stay at this hotel. LOL hahahah I kill me sometimes.
Morning to all who take one cream and three sugars in your coffee.
+Squeeze+.
and five eagles
Photoshop FAIL.
glad i wasnt first one to notice. kinda obvious one
Maybe its a dream-cream???
Photoposhed
At least it wasn’t done on the cheap.
this cream’s all crusty!
morning everyone
MORNING!
Afternoon!
G’night
and if I don’t see you later, good riddance
G’morning!
WTF? Isn’t that Chan’s new avatar? Who are you? Katz or Chan?
Crap! Is Chan using Grr? I just changed it! I’ll change it back when I get home.
Hey! I checked, Chan is using Zim. *fills with righteous indignation* I’m keeping mine!
You can keep yours! Wait. I see the pic you’ve been using for a while, Katz… Was it different this morning?
*Thinks a moment* *Extrapolates*
It was GIR! Wasn’t it? It might still be too early for this whole “thinking” thing.
You are correct. It was Gir this morning. Apparently I have the power to change my avatar simply by thinking it… I can finally be a SUPERVILLIAN! I have a SUPER POWER! MWAHAHAHAHAAA! *twirls invisible handlebar mustache*
CRAP! It switched again.
It’s bad enough they never wash the comforter. Let’s not forget the bed bugs too and now they want to add cream? No thank you! *flees room*
They misspelled “mistresses”.
i wasn’t available at the time they were putting up the sign, sorry.
mistress fail
They misspelled “waitresses”, rather.
There are tons of communication failures with those signs.
Running gag. ^^
Fakes ?
PHOTOSHOPED!!!!!!1
I really love the “We no longer accept payment in goats” sign.
Clean mattress win.
^
*squeeze* good morning everyone! I miss you guys! Let me know when you’re storming my building to demand FB back! *squeeze*
*squeeze*
What do you mean you miss us? We’re right here, are we not?
*feels self to check*
*checks also*
*squeeze*
Hi Mr. Cuddles! I miss you
Cuddles! We have cuddle puddles in your honor here. I miss you… *snuggles against her friend and mews sadly*
Sorry,
I forgot about the blocking. IT…JUST…ISN’T…FAIR !!! WE…DEMAND…TO …SPEAK…TO…THE MANAGER!!!
*is hauled away by the police*
*megaphone shatters on ground*
*Cuddles’ boss is observing from 15th floor*
Now I have to stand in the tea chest!
Cream on our dog kennels?
Sixty feet wide.
Hmmm… okay, if you say so. *pours vanilla coffee cream on mattress*
Dirty duvet, dirty mind…..
dirty pants, clean bottom
Get back in the sack, sock!
Like everyone before you did!
Just be happy that it’s not urine or blood…
Here is a TRUE hotel fail for failblog:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/suomynona/3029417006/
Honestly, that’s not so uncommon in hotels. Not really a fail. When a guest says “bloody” it’s usually like one little spot somewhere. Not to say that it’s acceptable, but a lot of people tend to exaggerate these things, LoL.
They mean waitresses don’t they?
I just want to know if that is an amenity or an invitation.
Can we stop posting the obvious fakes please? They are turing failblog into FAIL
These constant fakes are getting super annoying, i almost prefer reading “did he die?”
its not fake
Ahem, we call them “Elegant Ho”s here, sir.
there is a hotel were a live called the mcm elegante……
I call this one a win!!
Any one else notice how photoshoped this is? weak fail
*raises hand*
No, its not fake… I unfortunately live in that town and its not fake… That is the only hotel owned by MCM which is a local thing…
It looks fake.
they just aren’t as good when you can tell they’re fake…
I’m 75% sure it’s not fake.
It does look pretty fake though.
My dad saw this sign in Beamont, Texas. He passes by it everyday on the way to work when he is out of town.
Chocolate on the pillows!
I can never think of a proper explaination for this. :/
Mixing up C and D on a computer keyboard is easy to do. Mixing them up in giant plastic letters on a sign, however, is the work of a true nincompoop.
This is a sign in Beaumont, TX. If you lived here, you’d know that there are a multitude of people stupid enough to do this.
actually this one is in dallas
omg… i know where that is…
there are A TON of strip clubs right next to it too….
how ironic.
I think thats a win lol
I wonder if they’re hiring….
I intend to, good sirs/madams, but first you gotta hook me up with the adult programming.
consider it done!
cream! how very lovely!
?
now?
scream or cream? filth!