Urinal Fail
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So it’s one boy, two cups?
Ewwew.
two boys, one hug
co-joined twins?
conjoined wins?
at the hip, obviously
“Sword Fight” Win …
…but still ewwww.
I had better sharpen my sword then!
….
Check out Another Fail Here
WIN!
Privacy Fail.
Probably for Vulcans. They have bifurcated wing-wangs.
Does that mean I’m related to Spock?
Sometimes the comments are funnier then the fails themselves. In other words ROFLMFAO
*barf*
*squeeze*
(in that order)
Thanks for getting those in the right order.
.
*squeeze*
.
Well, what else would it be?
A nightmare for someone who has been drinking all night and is chronically indecisive?
This is taking the buddy system a bit too far.
*Squeeze to all*
*Is not so sure squeeze is such a good thing on this fail*
Squeezes are fine. Toe tapping, not so much.
I don’t know. A squeeze in this case would make me feel. . . cut off.
Wouldn’t it depend on who is doing the squeezing?
Hmmmm. . .could be!
*Is relieved*
*looks down*
My shoes!!
*Turns to look*
Ooooops!
That’s why Brad Pitt is always wet when he comes from a public bathroom.
i forsee balls touching: hence GAY
I bet you’re working as a meteorologist! They NEVER get their forecasts right!
I can tell you are experienced in the ball touching department being able to foresee the consequences of such actions.
That’s what she said!
it doesn’t work like that. you could have said that to the 1st comment but not the reply
what if they ped on each other
yeh uhh that’s disgusting
Keeps them from hitting your shoe!
♫ You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes. ♫
Don’t cross the streams!!!
Don’t pee on the electric fence!
.
.
How was your weekend!
Peachy and nice! How about you?
Pretty good. We bought a dehumidifier and have pulled 10 gallons of water out of the basement since 2pm Saturday.
.
But, I walked in this morning to find a 1-inch thick stack of paper for a brand new lawsuit for $5M. This one will be fun.
FUN! *snickers*
I wish I was on some interesting cases… *eyes his slip and falls with righteous anger*
*ponders Malicite’s second statement; still doesn’t get it*
.
And look! Another one just came in on the fax. No dollars mentioned, though. It does mention shoulder surgery. You wanna come work with me on these? I need to work on financial statements.
*thinks Mal is working on slip and fall cases and is angry about that.*
That makes more sense! I was like, ok, why is Mal wearing a slip, and if wearing a slip makes him fall with righteous anger then he should take it off.
.
HAHAHAHAHA!
*snorkroffles*
I like your thought process.
*laughs*
I mean…
.
.
.
(pssst! Your slip is showing…)
*Feels embarrassed and runs off to get a robe*
trips malcite falls forewards with a stiff slip*
Glad I wasn’t the only one. Great minds…
See, I told you I should have been an engineer…
.
*smooch*
It’s not too late! I have a book here, Computer Engineering for Dummies! And I can teach you how to design just about anything. It goes like this:
1. Decide what you want designed.
2. Hire engineering outsource firm in Bangladesh.
3. Tell them what you want designed.
4. Give design to contract manufacturer in China, tell them to build it.
5. Sell product to customers.
6. Retire wealthy in Bermuda.
Voila! Sadly, this is not too far off from what my job is like lately. Except for the parts about “wealthy” and “Bermuda”.
I love it!
.
Sign me up! But make sure it includes the ‘wealthy’ and ‘Bermuda’ parts.
oooohhhh… I read that as Malicite wearing a slip. He looks at it, then falls down. And he’s angry about it.
His slip up created unwanted exposure.
He is on a slippery slope.
Just couldn’t let that slip by could you?
To let it slip by would have been negligeent, he would have been accused of falling aslip on the job.
I don’t need this lip from you!
Slip sliding away, slip sliding away.
You know, the nearer the destination
the more you’re slip sliding away.
♫ Mal’s workin his job, collect his pay believe he’s gliding down the highway, when in fact he’s slip sliding away ♫
Dang it!
*Soaks head in bukkit*
What, marius? I thought you were just slipping in with anew twist on my song? I like it!
*Pulls head out of bukkit*
Yeah. . . that’s what I did. Thanks Velvet!
Hey, Mal – I’ll trade you for some divorce work!!! GAAAAHHHHH!!!
Yeah… I’ll keep my lousy, stupid injuries…
Divorce work seems so…high emotion.
Anyone’s more than welcome to work on my turnover report and compare it to the approved headcount, that was never approved.
*passes out cookies and hot coco*
Mondays suck… I wish Mondays were work from home days…
Mmmm! Chocolate! Thanks!
nomnomnomnomnomnom
I wouldn’t take legal advice from someone named Malicite… Sounds too much like the unholy offspring of Malpractice and Illicit…
perhaps the companion urinals were made for malicite and…
malfoy.
Have a stormy weekend, velvet? We had some pretty heavy rain around here last week. (Sorry, I haven’t kept up with all the comments.)
No, it was stormy here last weekend through Wednesday. Hot and humid this weekend. Highs in the 90’s with 90% humidity.
.
Did you have a nice week?
It was actually “Dont wizz on the electric fence” if you are quoting ren and stimpy
Damn, beat me to it.
Great minds think alike ^____^
Not that I’m saying you are one, but idiots also do.
oh, the witty rejoinders are just streaming in here.
Yes, we enjoy leaking a little wit and wisdom here on Failblog.
As my sainted MIL used to say, “Soft minds run together.”
sheesh… you take the fun out of everything!
Ray! We’re going to need 60 tons of urinal cakes and all the toilet paper you can find!
sooo, you can have some cake and eat it, too?
lololol
That was my first thought too!
Good idea, you can’t miss, even if your drunk as hell.
He he! Jinx!
The only problem, if your just a little bit drunk, it might confuse you.
or use one of them as a handy seat…..mmmm squishy!
This is what all urinals look like to me when I am drunk.
Those who have had a bit too much to drink would greatly appreciate such an arrangement.
There would be 4-8 urinals…wow… Imagine the failures that could come from that…
Are you speaking from experience, o frequently-pantless one?
.
*SQUEEZE*
And I got moderated…twice actually…*thwaps failblog*
I’ve learned to use 0 for o and 1 for i and 3 for e in questionable words on here. Strategically placed spaces help, too.
3xc 3113nt !d3a, th1s s33ms to w0rk v3r-y w3ll!!
3xc3 pt, n0w ! d0n’t kn0w wh-at in h-311 ! am say1ng!!
No, silly! Just pick one of th3m. N0t ev3ry v0wel.
.
*earflick*
|>0|\|7 J|_|57 570P @7 |_|5||\|G 5Y|\/|8015 2 R3PR353|\|7 7H3 0|>|> 13773R, 137 477 13773R5 83 R3P1@ 8Y 5Y|\/|8015!!!
*dies*
Abort, Retry, Fail?
You’re missing a “(3″ on your “R3P1@” there.
Wouldn’t that be “(3<|" ?
Jeepers, I could actually read that, and yes I also noticed the missing “(3<|"
True AOL 5p34k should always have plenty of errors to be convincing, so the <| is optional.
I had a less than symbol, followed by the 3, but FB ate it!
AHHHH typical!
*grabs chair and tries desperately to wrangle the latin alphabet back*
*head asplodes*
What I want to know is how long that took you to type.
! 57@R73|> 7YP!|\|G 7|-|!5 @7 9:09@|\/| @|\||> !7 !5 5!|\/|!1@R !|\| 13|\|G7|-| !5 !7 |\|07?
Yes it is. I think it took me longer to read it than it took you to type it!
Yeah, I think it’s easier to type than to read!
Totally missed both of them. I guess I am way out of practice.
It’s hard to figure out which symbols are supposed to be part of which letters. And what to do about numbers? I vote replace them with letters!!
If you’ve had plenty of practice…
Can I just say I’m intrigued? and want to learn how..
Good morning, friends! I’m just here for a quick “howdy do” before I get back to work. Can you believe these folks just let all my work pile up while I was out? *squeezes all*
*squeeze*
.
I believe it. And I still think you work here somewhere…
.
Welcome home!
*Squeeze for Judy*
*Squeeze for Velvet*
And how are my two of my favorite Failblog ladies?
*squeeze*
.
Hey there, sexy thing! I’m doing well, thanks! How was your weekend? Just 6 weeks til the big day, eh?
I was going to throw rice, but decided on bird seed instead.
*throws birdseed.*
Yeah! So exited and a bit nervous.
The weekend was good. I got a fair bit of work done, but still managed to relax. My only regret was I wasn’t able to visit my dad for father’s day.
Hi Aiki! *squeeze*
One thing to remember about the bachelor party: If the best man hires a performer named “Kelly”, check if Kelly is a he or a she.
PS, I noticed “exited”. Freudian slip? Preparing your getaway already?
Lol… I will watch for Kellys (Kellies?)
I meant excited… I swear! Why would I need an exit strategy? It’s not like I am pledging my life to one person through thick and thin with no foreseeable exit, or planning a future where I pretty much have no say…
No say?? You have lots to say! In fact, you can start practicing now!! “Yes Dear.” “Yes Dear.” “Yes Dear.”
That get’s me in trouble. Then I am just patronizing. But if I voice an opinion then I am either wrong or not listening. It’s a no-win. I have resigned myself to that. It’s worth it though.
Don’t forget “sorry”, “you are absolutely right” and “it won’t happen again”.
also, ‘No honey, you look fabulous in those pants’
I wasn’t looking at that girl, I only have eyes for you! Even though she has on a shirt that is three sizes too small, and she obviously isn’t wearing a bra, I didn’t look at all.
Ouch!! What was that for?
*Grabs notepad… scribbles furiously*
How about “Whatever you say dear”? I have heard mixed reviews on that one.
And “Yes, now that you mention it they do make your ass look big.”
Congratulations by the way
Ixnay on “Whatever you say”! Try “Whatever makes you happy makes me happy too, honey!”
Um … don’t bother finishing any sentence that starts with ‘In my defence …’
aiki! Nice to see ya. I’m fine. You?
Doing well. Slightly busy at work today. Apparently the boss’ incompetence means more work for me to fix all the crap she did.
*squeeze!*
Good morning!
Glad you’re back!
*squeeze*
Morning!
Hey, Mal! *squeeze*
(Thanks, B. Me, too!)
I hate when that happens! Don’t they know how to do your job yet…no? Hey! Job security!
*squeeze*
You know it! *high-fives velvet*
I’m also the only one that can open the office safe!
After hours party at Judy’s workplace! I’ll bring in a no-host bar! Judy’s buying!!
When I was on maternity leave I literally got a call wondering how to order pizza for an office lunch. I am not even kidding…so sad…
Velvet!! *smooch!*
Happy Monday!
And I have decided to try a new approach. Jenny gave me a pair of 80’s vintage parachute pants! Check it out!
*Does MC Hammer dance*
♫ Can’t touch this! ♪
*unzips 10 zippers and pants stay on*
.
Yup, they seem to work nicely.
.
Oh, do you want your wallet back?
We’ll see how well they work come the Friday cuddle puddle! Add a bit of alcohol, they may just self-destruct!
Do we need to get him a wallett chain to go with his new pants?
♫ Ja ja just like the bad guy
from Lethal Weapon 2
I’ve got diplomatic immunity
so Hammer you can’t sue
Can’t touch this! ♪
Maybe you’re supposed to bounce it from one urinal to the next to reduce splash back.
Intended for those with a Prince Albert?
Indeed. My bi-directional wee leads me to declare this a definite win.
Talk about pissing in your back pocket.
Who needs personal space?
*Squeeze*
Here’s a quiz for urinal etiquette. See how you fare.
gamescene.com/The_Urinal_Game_game.html
Blocked! Stoopit I.T. departments!
I got most of them correct! considering I have never used a urinal, I think that’s pretty good!
This is the same thing on a different site, but it’s probably blocked too?
puffgames.com/theurinalgame/
Failing that, here’s a similar non-animated version that will hopefully not be blocked:
drinknation.com/urinaltest.php
What’s with not giving a NONE OF THE ABOVE option? I knew that was the answer on the last one!
Click on the door.
Very random questions, I would have pissed my pants by now. LOL
I apparently should not use public bathrooms…
This is the same thing on a different site, but it’s probably blocked too?
http://www.puffgames.com/theurinalgame/
Failing that, here’s a similar non-animated version that will hopefully not be blocked:
http://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php
100%… even got the door. Apparently I was taught well.
Umm you don’t Ms B. LOL
Finally! A urnal for siamese twins! They have been forgotton for so long.
or one very lucky guy
unrine luck
Hi Granny! Glad to see urinetown!
Hi Marius!
*pees*
i mean
*squeeze*
*Stands next to Granny at urinal*
Sooo, you come here often?
*Squeeze*
*feels uncomfortable when Marius squeezes people while peeing*
*squeezes Arthur while simultaneously shagging a sheep*
There, is that better?
*Snickers*
*twix* ?
Smile and wave! Smile and wave!
Now Mal looks like he’s in a rodeo.
Yeeee Haaa!
This is the weirdest public toilet I’ve ever been in.
I tried to explain that to Velvet but she seemed to think it was okay.
If she says so…
*Now feels uncomfortable again*
So how about those (pick your most manly sports team).
The All Blacks squeezing you while you pee? Hmmm… Uncomfortable. Definitely.
Yep, how bout those Bears!
I always admired Dick Butkis.
No, wait, never mind!
Ball’s out!!!!
*Trys again in German for AE*
Fußball ist draußen!
Urea lly need to work on your puns!
I liked it but then they break the run. I mean, urinal the right groove and: dead stop.
SWORD FIGHT!
En garde!
I have a confession to make
I am not left handed! HUZZAA!
Hiiiiyyaaahh!
I also have a confession to make! I don’t use my hands!
*grabs popcorn and sits to enjoy the show*
*offers to help*
Isn’t this kinda like wrestling an invisible bear?
Granny’s got years o’ experience, not to mention all the right equipment
hahahaha!
*puke*
*puke too*
LUBE!
sorry
No hands? That reminds me…
The State! I didn’t know this one was on Youtube!
.
*supah squeeze* Thanks so much!
wellllll… guess we know the identity of the duel pee tubs…
Dueling wang bros?
Is your name Inigo Montoya? (nave NO clue how to spell that first name.)
prepare to die! Good guess though
the one thing I never understood about PB… why they’d make a villain out of a six-fingered man. Sounds like a bonus to me!
*Jumps into the thread*
*Gives skwirrlgrrl a six-fingered hug*
oooh! that’ll teach be to drive-by post!
oops!
-b, +m
Drive my post?
b #1, not b #2!
or, are you saying you have a post I could drive?
I don’t know what I’m saying.
Another drive-by post fail.
This violates the First law of Urinal use- stand as far away from each other as humanly possible….
The “splash-zone” police would be all over this..
nah not a fail, i love to take a leak with my grand son at the same time
Grandma?
I like it cause you can just kind of flop it in there and not really have to concentrate. Granny’s always messing on herself with the normal ones.
Hey! *waves* Hello!
How is everybody?
I’ve not been here for about 4 days! Can you believe it?
I had a few days of and totally forgot to check FailBlog now and then.
Hey Hairy! *Waves*
Wow! You didn’t make this gross
*squeeze*
Whatever do you mean? Are you saying Granny has lost his touch?
I thought a ‘hairy wave’ was a euphemism.
….is it a fluffy mexican?
Is Fluffy a Mexican?
No, but Snowball is.
If you read his response on the grandma/son thing you will notice that he didn’t lose even a little bit of it
You forgot us
*sniff, sniff*
off course I didn’t I was just very busy with a few assignments.
And I was in a fight with my girlfriend, so I had a lot of stuff going on my head.
.
How can I forget you? I just can’t! I can’t! *Squeeze*
Hallo Hairy- I’m back too- from hiding In a teeny weeny villiage in Bulgaria- it is good to be back though……online is distinctly odd, got used to no power, no water etc etc
What where you doing in Bulgaria?
Hiding…….and seeing my parents in law. It was hot, and quiet, and now I am back in the UK, and it is manky damp and loud- guess where I would rather be!
Oh, I get you.. I was on Aruba for 5 months.. Not that quiet. But everybody is so relaxed.. And when I got back in Holland there was nothing but people running to catch their train everybody is stressing about things I didn’t even think of when I was there..
Why don’t we go on a 35 year vacation?
*packs bags*
where are we off too then?
How about.. *closes his eyes, spins around 20 times and puts his finger on the map* .. here?
hmmmmmm, the pacific ocean huh…..sounds good to me- but we may need a boat!
I think it was the Easter island. Don’t forget an axe!
always wanted to sit atop a statue of a big head and gaze seaward…..*packs axe*
“axe”?
*scratches head*
Never heard about what happend on the Easter Island?
cannibubbles I thought?
What’s that?
bad spelling!
I think k@ meant “cannibalism”. I’m not familiar with the history of Easter Island, although I did once see a documentary about the famous stone-head monoliths.
Tori?
To make those statues it was necessary to chop off trees (transport and all that). The people there chopped off all the trees over the centuries. Then the wind blew off the topsoil, nothing grew there and the people almost died out (wars and cannibalism was part of that last process). Since the people on the Easter Island were as isolated on their place as mankind is on earth, it’s a scary analogy to our behaviour and the possible consequences.
And possible culinary advancements.
Tastes like chicken?
The best things usually do…
long piggies!
and environmental disaster……why do we never learn?
Just add lemon and pepper.
*zips off to lunch*
Possums have forked penises. It’s true. Maybe this setup is for some man-possum hybrid…
its another case of “i’ll show mine, you show yours”
its part of the get closer Extra advert.
perfect for Siamese twins
5 out of 7 front-page fails invole penises. Not that I’m complaining.
May I suggest faillicblog.org as a more suitible domain name?
Suddenly the phrase, “Don’t cross the streams!” comes to mind!
sword play with a cup to catch the outfall?
Finally, for the man with two penises.
Correction: The penis with 2 men
Or, as Rosie O’Donald-Trump would say… “made in heaven for the two-headed monster.”
It’s just a bit too cozy for my taste.
A little butt rub never hurt no one… just sayin’
I accidenty the whole urinal.
What should I do?
accidenty?
is that like… a new toothpaste?
How does one ‘toothpaste’ a urinal?
*facepalm*
OK, somebody help me here… I see “accidenty” all the time on failblog. Is that a reference to something?
Yes, it is.
.
But don’t ask me which one. Someone else will have to help you with that.
.
So is wheeechiair.
.
*lunch squeeze*
Brewski, accidenty is an ongoing joke from when someone, I forget who, misspelt “accidentally” and ended up with “accidenty”. The word stuck and it’s been used ever since.
I always felt I was missing out on a really funny story or something.No, there was a fail a few months ago that had ‘accidenty’ in it. But I can’t search for it because it was in the photo, not the text. I have no idea what the title was of the fail.
.
(new clicky, BTW).
I tried and couldn’t find it either.
That’ll teach me not to refresh.
*sniffs*
My youtube doesn't work.
I got a good clicky that would be useful if these were crappers instead of urinals.http://failblog.org/2008/10/10/mens-room-fail/
failblog[dot]org/2008/10/10/mens-room-fail/
(other comment got eaten)
That’s it!!
And Aja knew this!
HAHAHAHAHA!
That is one of my favo(u)rite fails of all.
*”thank-you” squeeze*
I recall seeing it, now.
very carefully, betty.
Now all of my comments are being eaten…hurray?
Weak.
The blogmonster leaves those two for a midnight snack.
They're really good dipped in baconlube.*Pat pat*
It’s good when you have the two streamer.
We aim to please.
Now you no longer need to aim, just do as you damn well please!
Swordfight.
What if I want to go down the center?A fellow worker said it looked photo shopped because it had the same glare is on both urinals.
LOOK AT TEH PIXELSSSSZ!!!
Please don’t yell at me it is trollish behavior.
A toilet for people diagnosed with multiple personality disorder.Then Capt. Awesome must use these urinals frequently.
GBF, your name seems to have severely grown since I last saw you.Has it? I must have watered it while you were gone.
I think you should test the maximum characters. Let us know how many are possible.
Well, I’ve got this many so far.
W?DAMN IT! I can’t fit in the other names I had in this thread.
You’ll just have to continue your name at the top of each comment.
That’s actually perfect for those morning after sex pisses.
Well, you know how it’s hard for men to strike up conversations and meet new people…here’s the solution! No awkward converstaion starters needed here!
This is a win if you have two wangs
My, my, that was intelligent.To pee, or not to pee…
buba® thinks it’s a great tolerence to think about double-penis men.
FINALLY! a solution to conjoined twins usin da washroom!
double urinal- the wost nightmare for people who can’t decide themselves.
worst*
I guess they wanted the however many urinals in the restroom for maximum capacity.
double-urinal – for the double-dicked guy
first
Sword fight!
http://eatabigone.wordpress.com/2009/06/22/i-hate-children/
Every1 know that men got two penises during winter…
I bet this is installed in a gay club…
:shocked:
DAMNIT. SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO DO THESE DAMN SMILEYS!!
YAY!!!! Now how do I do the other ones? Anyone? Please…?
:embarrassed:
I’ll stop talking now and wait for help…
(insert embarrassed face here)
# Hang on
Help is on its way #
You’ll help me in my perilous ques o find ou wha smileys are wha (He key after R on my keyboard isn’ working)
:-/
DON’T CROSS THE STREAMS!!!
I thought crossing the streams was bad…
This is cool if you gotta pea and have serious diarrhea at the same time. Sit on one, aim at the other
erm … pea = pee
fail, either way.
so. did she die?
Howdy neighbour!
This is no fail, this is a necessity for the mobs of male Siamese twins that you see all the time! Have you noticed how at least one of them always looks a little uncomfortable, like he needs to go? This is the answer. No more standing there awkwardly while your twin hogs the urinal.
Drunk guy win! Just done aim for the one in the center.
It is obviously for people with the condition “diphallic terata”.
See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diphallic_terata
Finally, a bathroom where post-coital split streams are no longer an aiming and containment nightmare! Oh happy day… Wait, if it’s post-coital, why would I be in a public restroom… Damn, so close!
“Don’t cross the streams.” – Dr Egon Spengler
Well if this bathroom is near Chernobyl there is nothing wrong with it…
Radiation…Mutation…work it out huh?
It’s perfect! — for a guy with two d*cks!
source = photoshop special
obviously a bad photoshop job
Don’t cross swords. Only cross streams. Lawl.
Perfect for a gaybar
good for guys with 2 penises lol
ima girl lookin for a guy just putting it out there^^
I bet this was installed by a union worker
i bet they have been used too.
Most males have one; a few got two.
That must be the Gay Stall! =D
Don’t cross the streams!!
Damn you got it first! Lol, someone had to.
Only one way to do this,PREPARE TO CROSS THE PEE!!!
now that would be uncomfortable
DON’T CROSS THE STREAMS (Cried out for a Ghostbusters quote)
OMG YES!!! THANKS!!! lol
I was gunna say that but you got me first!
Urinal of love
If I get pissed on I’m gonna get pissed off.
NEVER CROSS THE PATHS!
They need a CORNER urinal for use in corners!
(When is the last time you saw a corner urinal?)