Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous Kiddie Ride Painting Fail | Unbreakable Fail Next »
» 843 Failures in Communication
-
Recent Comments
ajsflks on Tell Me What You See Donald Zerli, etc. on Placement Fail Kevin on Tell Me What You See MIguel Jackson on Tell Me What You See Infront on Tell Me What You See bsoloud on Tell Me What You See TechBender on Tell Me What You See Carly on Tell Me What You See CheapLabor on Tell Me What You See D on Parenting Fail 
Cheezburger Network Blog
Hey Norton! One of these days…
Whatcha gonna do, Ralphie-boy? Cancel my subscription?
Har har, hardee har har!
To the moon, Alice! To the moon!
One of these days Alice… POW right in the kisser.
I’m new, Do I have to take some test or something?
You picked a good line-up of regulars to ask that to.
The first test of Failblog is whether you can join in a conversation without calling attention to yourself.
The second test is whether your wit/humo(u)r/intelligence makes anyone laugh/groan/think.
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them.
~ Evelyn Waugh
“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”
~ Victor Borges
(Wait…I think you used this one to me already…. Oh well, it’s a really good one and worth repeating.)
You effectively scared him off.
No man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.
~Thomas Carlyle
Yeah, you gotta think of the most retarded response possible and then write it using inane gibberish.
yes
I still dont understand how some people’s replies to another comment can be so bizarre like that… I’ll start off with one!
Gee this is harder than I thought…
are you a genius or something?
Geez, Velvet, you’re sure fast.
I type 80wpm.
.
*sQuEeZe*
Pressing the F5 button 50 times per second, YES!!
*recalls sQuEeZe*
.
I do get the ‘you’re posting too fast’ response often here.
I do 70wpm, close enough!
<3
*cringes*
43wpm
*runs and hides in shame*
90wpm
But I can’t be bothered to press f5 a million times.
*inserts extra squeeze*
*admires velvet’s fast fingers*
What happens to recalled squeezes?
I catch them and keep them to myself!
I thought they were quality tested and recycled if they’re suitably squishy.
I recycle mine! (see a couple of posts vvv there)
I try to make mine energy efficient. That way I can give out more.
*green squeeze*
*waits for the energy stars*
*squeezes all, smooches DW*
There they are!!!
*smoooooooooooooooch*
I need TP for my bunghole!
I could amaze you at what else my fingers can do…
.
fast and slow…
*i-magines*
*head asplodes*
among other asploding things…
.
Sorry, I’m just in a frisky/dirty frame of mind today.
That’s okay, we can roll around together in the gutter…
Cool! I wanted to make sure I wasn’t offending you.
.
I grew up with 2 brothers and most of my friends have been guys. I don’t embarrass easily, and I always look for a dirty meaning to everything I hear or read.
.
*pinches both butt-cheeks*
Your own or Brewskis?
Brewski’s! I don’t need to post if I pinch my own cheeks.
.
LOL!
.
I did too many squats this weekend, so it’s more of an ‘ouchie’ pat for myself.
Velvet…never, ever feel the need to apologize for your raunchy sense of humo(u)r. It is one of the truly delightful things about you.
*squeeze!*
Don’t worry, I’m not easily offended. You’d know if I was. Like some of my replies to the trolls.
*gooses velvet with E.T. finger*
LOL! Thanks, DW.
.
*squeeze*
You two girls get a lot of people hot right now.
Please continue. ^^
I consider myself to be adult comic relief.
.
And cheesy. A good mix of the two.
.
If you only knew how much I have to censor myself…
.
*grabs Brewski and BAReFOOt with predator gloves*
Hee, I just wrote a response to you, then censored myself!!
We need a special blog, I’d love to see the uncensored Velvet!
You are all soooo naughty!
Naughty enough for a spanking…
Where would the fun in that be?
HAHAHAHAHA! I love it! I do that all the time. Type it up, read it, then hit cancel.
.
Anyone reading that kind of blog would get fired from their job.
*Is now tempted to add that feature to his forum*
Ooh! Everyone over to Ms B’s place for spanking!
.
I’ll bring the BaconLube!
*dons black leather*
*cracks whip*
Come on over!
*Runs to be first in line*
I’ve been a bad, bad boy, Mommy!! Are you going to spank me now??
*Is very disturbed that Brewski wants that type of attention from his Mommy*
That was a reference to “Eating Raoul”. If you haven’t seen it, you MUST!! It’s an all-time classic dark comedy.
Ah. I haven’t seen it, but I will put it at the top of my list.
Oh dear. I completely merged those 2 sentences and ended up with something slightly rude.
Sorry
he’s done a lot of mastu… uh, training!
Only from the jealous.
*squeezes Velvet*
*squeezes all around*
*recycles recalled sQuEeZe*
.
*squeezes all who appreciate my fast fingers*
.
*one-finger salute to those who don’t*
Velvet! Defender of the blog!
Ever heard of “Clicking refresh button desperately every 5 seconds” ?
Green is the right color for you! HA!
I for one, appreciate seeing something other than ‘FISRT’ at the top of the blog.
Same here!
*sign sign pass*
*puff puff pass*
*sign sign squeeze velvet*
*duck duck goose*
*jumps up. chases technicolor*
*crawls from grave*
*chases Judy*
*Screams*
*Runs around like a naked maniac*
*tosses some clothes to technicolor*
*hides behind tree*
*zombie runs past*
BOO!
*screams*
*runs from Judy!*
*quickly sits in recently vacated spot*
*hums innocently*
You’re so cute!
*pinches cheek*
*decomposed cheek tissue disintegrates between fingers*
*hands Judy a ShamWow*
Thanks Judy – keep that up and you’ll turn me into a skeleton!
It is my calling, Betty! I accept it with open arms.
*Flies into Velvet’s open arms*
*Squeeze*
Awwww! That was cute!
.
*squeeze*
Betty. The only time I have heard that name was when my godmother was describing one of her more promiscuous friends.
She referred to her as, “Ever ready, Betty.” I didn’t get it at the time being only 6 years old.
.. hangs wet laundry from velvet’s arms… lemme know when the undies are dry, willya?
Me too! But it usually means it just ends up down there VVV.
It inspires people to read further if it doesn’t show at the top. It did for me when I lurked anyway.
Ever heard of “Stop being such a grump?”
Auto-Clicker… i’t’s free but always fails me.
*SQueeEZEEE*
the main reason i despise norton antivirus with a passion…for fashion
*hello!*
IT WORKED!!!! HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS O M G !!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOHOOOOO!!!! YESSSSSSSSS~!!!! *singing* I HAVE A COMMENT I HAVE A COMMENT WOOO HOOO!!!!
:D 
:D 
:D 
so. infinately. happy.
ok, so if you are curious, here is why i am so happy.OK, so one day i went on fail blog. i typed in a very witty reply to a fellow fail boggers comment. *sob* it did not show up.*sob*…
ok, im better now.
I went back on fail blog many times ofer the course of what seemed to be years. Yes, I am that much attached to FB My life was thrown into a constant downward spiral. I even lost my appetite
And just now, at 11:19 pm my time, I had been able to comment, and it was good.
there could have been two reasons for my loss of commentaitional ability.
1) I just got a new browser. there could have been a glitch.
2)I had a clicky attached, and only when i removed it, i was able to comment.
I am Tofu Mogu, and that is my story. Thank you.
Welcome back!
sience no one is replying, i will just put this up tomorrow, in a latter post. thank you.
What am I, chopped liver?
Not to me.
*squeeze!*
sorry, i wrote that before you said that.
yes, best served with onions.
It’s not a Norton fail – it’s a user fail.
Pay your subscription! Too funny.
uh oh..now our weather is unsafe from viruses
Tsk, no updating….
They’re lucky they didn’t get a ‘hot wet girls’ popup.
I consider to be lucky otherwise.
*sprays the computer with TamiFlu*
*facepalm*
Now why didn’t I think of that? And I wasted all this money on anti-virus software!
(Happy Monday, nightshayde!)
Thanks, Judy! Happy Monday to you, as well.
Happy Summer Solstice (one day late) to all the Failpeeps!
I have a cold & I really don’t want to be at work right now. *sigh*
I think you were supposed to spray the TamiFu on yourself, not the computer!
*squeeze*
You’re right, Avis!
*licks the computer, trying to get some TamiFlu back*
*squeeze*
And a happy Summer Solstice to the cheezpeeps right back atcha.
*squeeze*
I hope you get over your cold soon!
I’m healthy and don’t want to be at work today. We have sunshine for the first time in a month!
*squeeze*
Oooh – fake a cold so you can go enjoy the sunshine!
*squeeze*
I make a very healing chicken soup.
*produces steaming mug*
Here, try some of this.
*sluuuuuuuuurp*
Mmmm — that’s fabulous! Thank you.
*squeeze*
*squeezes nightshayde*
*runs for purell hand sanitizer; applies liberally*
*hopes NS is feeling better soon, working with a cold sucks!
Awww – thanks, ZA. I’ve worked with worse, and I’ve felt FAR more miserable at work. I’m just hoping I can get my stuff done quickly & then bail.
Honestly, in this economy, I’m rather pleased to have a job feeling icky or not.
Hay NS — Love your new partiotic avatar!!
Thank you!
On a semi-related topic… they have brought a copy of the Declaration of Independence to my company for viewing. On the signs posted around the company which are advertising this, the i-mage and text in the background are actually from the Preamble to the Constitution.
I have a feeling I’m the only one who has noticed. No wonder I’m a proofreader.
Oh…..dear.
That’s a perfect story for failblog.
I’m checking to see if someone can take a picture of the sign for me.
OK — someone took pictures for me. I’ll check at home to see if the i-mage is clear enough. If it is, I’ll blur out the company name & post the picture.
The tickets for viewing the Declaration have Article 1, Section 2 of the Constitution printed as the background.
Woohoo!!
What was the preamble to the constitution? Hmm history gap for me I guess, damn you gr 11 teacher.
Oh and
*squeezes all*
Ps where is the barbecue?
You missed most of it Emp but lots of leftovers. Take what you’d like.
I was supposed to leave that food for others? I got a little hungry…
My own back yard and I don’t get any. Hmph.
*kisses pouting bottom lip*
There’s still dessert though
*reciprokisses*
As long as I can have seconds, and even thirds.
*doesn’t think he really wants to know how many Americans would fail to see NS’s fail*
*cringe*
It’s sad how right you are there, ZA.
*vividly recalls 4th grade honor choir, each hand holding a red plastic plate above my head, singing “We the people of the USA, give our thanks todaaaaay…for the price our forefathers paid for liberty, so that we could all be free soooooo…give thanks, America, reach for the stars…give thanks, America, freedom is ours…give thanks America, home of the red white and bluuuuuuueeeeeee…..America, we give our thanks to you!!!”*
Now, why I remember all the words to that song since FOURTH GRADE…I’ll never know.
Katy, I still remember all my lines from “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown”. I was Snoopy…and I was in the 5th grade.
This is, of course, why I can never remember my students’ names.
I definitely need a memory upgrade. Or a defrag. It’s depressing that I can remember the phone number of my best friend in 5th grade, but not my OWN home phone number.
I learned the Preamble via Schoolhouse Rock. In fact, I don’t think I can recite it without singing it — but I memorized the song back in the late 70’s & it’s still very much in my brain. I’m pretty sure I have it in the correct key in my head, too.
I’m sure there’s a youtube of it somewhere, but I don’t have access here at work. If someone else could post it, that would be lovely!
*sigh* I’m still at work, and feeling more icky. *grumble* *whimper*
*puts a cool cloth around nightshayde’s neck*
*gives her a hot toddy*
Colds suck. I hope it goes away soon. *squeeze*
Got it … clickie NS and all other children of the 70’s. Or is it children of the 60’s, who could somehow remember the 70’s despite our parents?
.
*gets confused*
Thank you, ZA.
*curtsies to the zombie*
I was a child of the late 60’s — in my formative years when Schoolhouse Rock was in its heyday. Apparently, the Preamble one was from 1975 (if Wiki is to be believed).
Every time I see the sign here at work, that song starts playing in my head. It’s a very strong earworm.
Wow, I’d forgotten about that. My fave was “Conjunction junction, what’s your function?”
I liked the one about the number eight…it involved figure skating and ended with the number turning on its side to form infinity.
I like that one, too!
And Bill…on Capitol Hill…
Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, get your adverbs here . . .
Don’t forget to register!
*squeeze*
.
May I butt in with my clicky for those who are blocked?
Here!
Thanks, velvet … but still blocked. *sigh*
Nothing from youtube (or most other video-showing sites) gets through.
That used to be the case here, until the morons running the I.T. department realized we have company videos on YouTube.
*snerk*
How long did it take them to remember that?
I think we went a good 2 weeks, I wasn’t even able to watch the videos here.
I am here to speak up for the oppressed members of society that are clinically inbred. While it may be easy to poke fun at them and laugh, please remember that they are people. Now excuse me while I rub chocolate all over myself.
That’s not chocolate.
EEEEEWWWWWWW!
That’s not an exclamation mark.
I’ll take two scoops of chocolate. Make mine lumpy.
*barf*
There goes lunch…
I just ate 2 ears of corn-on-the-cob. Give it a couple hours.
Boys! Always with the potty humor. Sheesh!
I have a solution, Judy… lemme put the soundtrack from Deliverance into the player. …
ist es schiß?
Hey, did you see your son in the vote section. He looks just like you!
ROFFLE! Can’t…breathe…!! Oh, stop! What am I doing? What am I doing? Oh, great– now I have to change the Saran wrap on my keyboard!(Okay; it was worth it!)
Always glad to expose people to The State.
{{{{{{Velvet}}}}}}}}
{{{{{mrs_z}}}}}
.
There’s another one called “The Inbred Brothers Join the Army.” I’ll try to remember to post it tomorrow.
Hmm, let me try something…
{{{{{{General BondFan4518 ♂ MP of the 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division, Earl of Huntingdon-on-Thames/BFF News reporter/The Speaker of the House/BIG BROTHER/The President of Guinea Bissau/Frank Sinatra/John Adams/Lyndon B Johnson/Tokugawa Ieyasu/W}}}}}
Naaah, that looks ridiculous. I’ll stick to *squeeze*. Good night all!
Night AE! See ya tomorrow
Whoah! Easy there, Arthur! You’re suffocating me!
{{{{{{Arthur Eld}}}}}
Your hug (and AE’s) are a little… um… lopsided.
Dammit. I missed out on an Arthur *squeeze*-fest.
*pouts*
*squeezes DW*
There. Feel better? I haven’t posted here with you in AGES! I missed you!
We’ve missed you, too!
♫ When I think about you, I {{{myself}}}!!! ♫
Bad clicky! Bac clicky!
*plugs ears*
LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!!!
This is a pretty random clickie. It’s my favourite advert at the moment.
But, but I didn’t link to it this time! My clickie is to my blog, not the scarring-for-life video!
That song has been ruined for me!
I think Ms B meant Brewski’s clickie.
Now that you mention it, that ones just as bad!
*runs out of room crying*
Not having clicked on Brewskis name, I’m not sure, but I bet they’re pretty similar!
No. Brewski’s is worse. Think pickle. At least yours only works as long as the song is stuck in your head.
*tries to think happy thoughts*
NO CLICKIES!!!
*nods and continues earworm-free day*
Awww, but mine’s not even an earworm…
*bursts into tears*
Worlds collide!
I wish there was a way to express that wicked intro laugh with words.
Feel free to place your butt wherever it feels most at home, velvet!
(P.S.: the clicky is great!)
Wow – way down here, all by itself, that comment looks a bit odd.
I lol’d.
*squeeze*
*squeeze* Dragon! How has your day gone?
Hot. Ridiculously hot. And not the good-happy-sweaty-yum-yum hot way. Just hot and humid and uncomfortable.
Imma gonna stay in my air-conditioned house for the rest of the day, theng-kew-veddy-much.
Otherwise, it’s been great! You?
Need some help with that?
Ooh! The yum-yum part just arrived!!
OK — gotta ask. Are you two a real-life couple, or just on this here blog?
“I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.”
~ Amy Tan.
Where is kinda immaterial.
Awwww – that’s sweet (wherever it is).
Please.. Pass… Insulin.
*falls into coma*
I say warez.
Warez John? In the kitchen?
Man, I make such witty puns
Picture not showing up, but Norton has always failed anyway.
It’s a video.
Norton reminds me of that drunken prostitute in the bad side of town. Won’t do anything until she gets paid, but then isn’t very good at what she does anyway and always wants more money.
.
I used AVG for years, but it stopped playing nice with me so now I’m using ClamWin. I refuse to pay to cover vulnerabilities designed into an OS that I had to pay money to use to begin with.
Norton stopped supporting my Mac! Maybe it’s because we don’t get viruses.
We do, or at least some viruses are designed for macs. There just aren’t very many of them.
Every time somebody makes one Apple issues a security update and Poof!
I have Mac’s here at work (PC at home – backwards I know, but when you’re undead nothing hurts that much anymore except rigor mortis). Actually there are no viruses or worms for OSX at this time, though there are many trojans. OS9 had quite a few viruses though, but that was many many years ago.
.
My “game console” at home is still running winblows ex-pee (do NOT get me started on fista), but if I want to do real work I boot a real OS (Ubuntu – note it’s the same box, just different partitions on the drive). My next machine will be a 17″ MBP, but I’ll likely keep pumping parts into the game console for quite a few years yet.
ooohhh 17″ is a Mighty Big Penis.
*roffle*
Look out Everybody! There is a potato rolling around on the floor here somewhere.
*sets up bowling pins*
*watches katy roll past*
STRIKE!
*punches air*
*staggers around*
Wha…wha…wha’ happ’n'd?
*RIGL*
I have an older iBook G4. I have figured out that the “G” stands for “Godot”. I need to buy and install more memory. And then upgrade the operating system. I am told this will make it faster.
*sigh*
This is not gonna be cheap!
My hubby has a hard time locating my Godot as well. I wonder of a simple memory upgrade would fix that?
That’s one truism with Macs, if not for any kind of computer. Most speed issues can be solved by shoving more RAM at it. Get decent stuff from a name you can find in Google, but I wouldn’t buy RAM from Apple. It’s nice to have someone else take responsibility installing it, but Apple charges arms and legs for RAM. Look it up online, I’m betting it’s pretty easy to install RAM in that if you have directions.
An older iBook G4 probably means 256MB of RAM and getting it up to 512 would help a lot. Funny enough the newer OS X (10.4 & 10.5) require less RAM. Also I you get up to 10.4 you can run Safari 4, which is pretty good (finally). I’d switched to Firefox, but now I’m back to Safari.
I work on computers a lot, but putting RAM into a laptop is something I’d let the shop do. They break it, they fix it. Apple does charge a lot for that.
I was told at the genius bar that I should go buy the memory, and install it myself. This means that I will prevail upon my computer savvy friend to actually install it. The guy at the genius bar showed me “how” to do it (it requires lifting the keyboard up) and I think it can be done.
And Firefox lets me access my e-mail, but not FailBlog. Go figure. And guess which one gets more use!
If you get a good set of written instructions, with diagrams, I’m sure some savvy person could do it. It definitely can be done, but without experience in these matters it might be best left to the experienced people.
Having said that a good shop (not the Apple store) should only charge $20 – 25 (not counting cost of RAM) and they take the hit if it goes wrong. If your computer savvy friend does it wrong, you take the hit. Spend the money.
Your call of course. Also, the shop has to get the correct RAM of which there are MANY flavors. Just sayin’ and I’ve done this sort of thing for a long time.
hey Neener — your name always makes me LOL — and of course Calvin is always a WIN!!!
Thanks. I thought long and hard about my “handle” and what might be appropriate for this kind of content. I might have even taken 3 minutes. Finding the Calvin took longer.
I agree – since I am hetero, getting my ram from a fruit is not the best choice.
Norton’s a fail all by itself.
I use Avast. Works fine, and even the free version gives me no problems. Been virus-free for a couple of years, now.
(insert STD jokes here)
*is off to STD Central Flea Market*
Actually the lack of viruses is better explained by your lack of sex with other people.
(you asked for it )
DAMN Jenny, even I thought that was cold and I’m room temperature!
Who cares? It was hilarious! (S/he did ask for it!)
It was cold but at least it was not (fridge)d.
Brrrrrrrrr….it’s chilly in here!! I’m getting cold shoulders.
must be why mr and mrs goff named their kid jack.
Expect heavy rains with scattered popups toward evening.
And a flash syn flood warning.
Make sure your storm surge protector is operating properly.
High (shock)wave action on the coast will make for good surfing.
Further updates as events warrant.
I hear we’re in for a torrent of spam if the firewall fails.
There’s a broadcast storm on the horizon.
Maybe they should have used cloud antivirus?
An unexpected cold front is what can happen when you use symantecs.
Keep warm by the firewall.
and keep those windows closed, please!
We should start a little Trend.
Avast ye matey!
I won’t Panda to such outrageous suggestions!
hello
Howdy.
What’s up, diggity dog?
not much…got kicked in the eye…it doesn’t hurt though
it makes me lol when this type of thing happens. My fav. is the one where the guy is at the Apple (MAC) convention and a Microsoft Windows error screen comes up on the projector. The apple guy is using a PC disguised as a MAC. that’s way back there somewhere on this page.
I thought it was the other way arround? Or am I thinking of a different but similar fail?
I remember seeing on tv when Bill Gates was showing the new Windows XP (I think) and it ‘blue-screened’ on him during the presentation.
.
Maybe that’s what you’re remembering?
No, there was a fail, quite sometime ago, that had a computer on a podium, that was not the brand of whatever it was supposed to be. The !mage on the big screen was for the other guys.
I might have it backwards myself, but I think it was a Microsoft fail. As far as I know they tend to fail more than MACs. IDK. lol either way.
Media Access Control?
Mid-American Conference?
Message Authentication Code?
Material Adverse Change?
My Ass Cringes?
…
I think you meant Mac, short for Macintosh. Sorry, my little technical troll is wanting out.
Keep it in your pants!
Prude. :p
*giggles*
ok.
Muster
All
Crime lords!!
Ooh, ooh, a new title for a new Godzilla flick …
Monsters
Are
Coming!
.
*LOVES old Godzilla flicks!*
So…what is that, Godzilla porn or something?
*giggles*
.
The living …
Have you seen me Ц¢k? It’s hugeeeeeeeee!!!
Your fat boy Dick ought to stop eating all that shit.
Norton f***ing sucks!
Fücking Norton sucks, too.
Yeah, but Norton’s sucking….uh, never mind.
*crawls back under desk*
*hears a loud and pronounced sucking noise*
Yeah, Norton sucks so much I can hear it!
Sucking Norton… uhh.. something.
Mine just popped up as I watched…lol
Sounded Kinky
You get it up watching Norton fail?
All those trojans…..*moans*
*looks away while technicolor collapses his horse*
Good, I get nervous when someone watches.
*watches*
His wh… Oh, never mind…
BTW did any of you see a trojan ad up above the FAILblog website? How appropriate.
Try McAffee popups for a true adventure in sensuality.
You’re sooo romantic!
Would you two like to be alone?
Three! Brewski, myself and McAfee…
Ohhhh, Arthur! Scan my hard disk again!!
Do you want me to copy and paste, baby?
Come and insert your memory stick into my USB receptacle!
I’ll reboot you again and again until you scream 404 Error!
It looks like your driver needs to be reinstalled! Need any help with that?
You two should get a RAM.
Indeed! What you’re doing belongs behind closed DOS!
Nooo! Keep going, this is hilarious. I can tell it hertz so good!
oh yeah, but it’s all fun and games til someone gets backed up!
That’s when people start to byte each other.
is it better to byte, or be bit?
I hear it hertz less when you go in bits.
Well if you byte then the others will put a hex on you.
Hex or not, there’s no need to chip away at one another, if it’s all done in good F(:/r)un.
It’s even better if the fun is baudy!
I have the tape…backup.
Just be gentle with me…last time I nearly slipped a disk.
That was enough to make any guy’s 3½-inch floppy.
*defrags himself at this entire conversation*
*erases memory*
*formats hard drive*
*installs new OS*
*replaces drive, reinstalls new OS*
*shreds old drive*
*buries the remnants*
Personally, I prefer like the stamina of AVG.
ah yes… avg. best served with a cold beer.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. I had a pc that was plagued with every virus known to computers. The Paris Hilton of PCs if you will. Attached to my memory and everything. I had to replace some parts. And I learned an important lesson: Never download “flash” from an unknown website no matter how kinky and exciting the video sounds. I learn the hard way.
Good to see that the weatherman is a professional. He could’ve started spouting obscenities when that happened like someone else who has graced these pages.
What the F*%K are you talking about?
Yeah, what’s up with the censorship around here lately anyway? The lady on the news got on the blog because she said f**k and yet the commenters are held to a different standard? Anti-troll measure perhaps…
I think it’s about time for our Monday BBQ isn’t it?
*Pulls out deluxe FailBlog BBQ*
*Looks hopeful*
Here, these might help.
*holds up tappers for the three kegs she brought*
*tries to look helpful*
*brings wagon full of ribeyes and veggies*
Here, throw these on!
Oh! Now we’re talking!
*Grabs various foods including Brewski’s from below VVV*
*Lights up the charcoal, gets it glowing, starts cooking*
Hey Avis, tappers only work if they are in the kegs.
Well yeah, but I didn’t want them tapped until I GOT to the BBQ.
*brings vat of potato salad*
Did somebody say “BBQ?”
Oh… tater salad. My favorite. You can just leave it by me.
MEAT’S DONE!
I’m in!!
*grabs plate, stacks on salmon, corn on cob, and potato salad*
*refills beer from Avis’ keg*
*settles into lounge chair with cupholders in arms*
AAAaaahhhh!
I brought pineapple, and a new bag if marshmellows to toast. Help yourselves.
*passes out from overheating*
the heat index is 113 F at my house right now
*whispers*
I think the marshmallows have already melted.
Where are you that’s that miserably hot?
Alabama – we are setting new records this week
3 kegs, Avis?! What on earth were you thinking??
What is everybody else going to drink?
Well… um…*thinks hard* … I could always go get more!?
*points to beer truck behind her*
Will that do?
*thinks he is in love
*
*was at one time known for her ability to procure beer, lots and lots of beer*
I once bought 6 cases of Black Label, in cans, for a high-school summer party. We didn’t make much of a dent in it. I kept it in my trunk and became a sort of beer-dealer for truly buzz-desperate classmates. Mmmm, nothing tastes quite like Black Label that’s been sitting in a car trunk on 90-degree summer days for a month!!
*feels vaguely nauseated*
Speaking of nauseated — have you recovered from last week’s “lunch” disaster?
Thankfully, no lasting aftereffects. Thank you NS!!
*glances nervously at empty container that was sitting in cube all weekend*
Brewski, there is a new invention called “refrigerators”. Google it. I think you might like what they do.
I googled and here is the result. I don’t know if Brewski would like it.
urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fridge
Brain bleach!!! Stat!!
WHOA! NOT KEWL!
*Considers that he should have thrown up a stronger warning*
Sorry guys. Thought the urban dictionary was warning enough.
I don’t normally keep potatoes in the fridge.
Is it wrong that I was more disturbed by the many spelling errors in the definition than the actual definition itself?
*Note to self: do not attend any “tailgate” parties put on by Chan*
Hey, that’s an unfair judgment. Anal violation only hurts the violatee… Poor language use effects us all!
^affects^
I caught that as soon as I hit the irrevocable button, and was just hoping noone would notice the irony there.
Thanks.
I’ll be darned. The wonders of modern technology!!
I’ve brought some yogurt, fruit and a blender. Anyone for a nice tummy-friendly smoothie? My specialty is strawberry-banana. For those of you who care for it, there’s a bottle of rum on the sideboard.
*mixes yoghurt and rum*
Now let’s see what happens when someone drinks that…
What’s this? Milkshake?
*chugs down*
Urgh. Bleah. What the hell?? Now I look like Sen. Larry Craig in an airport men’s room!
See…THIS is why you keep getting in trouble! You’ll just indiscriminately put anything in your mouth and swallow!
.
.
.
*giggles*
*makes note to keep some distance from Brewski*
And he insinuated I have perverse tendencies! Tsk tsk!
*gasps*
Dragon!!
*ahem* Dragon meant drinks.
And when I posted that joking reply to you, Chan, I thought you were male! You seemed utterly undisturbed by aiki’s urbandictionary link, so it was a great leadin for a tailgate pun!
Why am I explaining myself??
*grabs another yoghurt/rum c0cktail*
Not JUST drinks.
…I meant pills and dubious lunches, too! :p
And then he wonders why his pants keep disappearing…
Nothin’ is touching my new parachute pants!!
:p
I remember standing in the lunch line watching kids pull their parachute pants up over their head. Ahhh, the ’80’s!
Sorry, that was supposed to be a how. I have no idea how that came out as a why. Weird.
Anyway, how should we go about this? AP’s suggestion is the best so far, I think.
NO WRONG THREAD!
*desperately tries to erase post*
*sobs quietly and rocks to and fro, chanting “It’s only a post, it’s only a post”*
In my defense, I am undisturbable in the sexual department. While I go to school, I am working in a store selling *ahem* “adult intimacy facilitation devices”, and have quite literally heard it all, and seen most of it (unwillingly, but there it is).
Oh my. You have found your home. You should be able to provide a goldmine of comments on half the fails we get around here. For some reason, it seems that about a third of them involve sexual innuendo.
Now I, of course, have a perfectly clean and innocent mind, so I find it all shocking and deplorable. But not everybody is as saintly as me.
Are you raining on my penis parade again, Brewski? Quit being such a wet blanket!
*gasps*
Ms B! You said pe… pe… the “p” word!!!
*faints*
*convulses*
Now look what you’ve done! What a magnificent co(k-up.
He said co©k…!
*Starts to convulse…*
*Applies adrenalin shot and recovers*
Don’t do that!
Sorry, am I being a di(k?
Maybe we should erect a sign with words we shouldn’t use for you namby-pambys.
In fact, there are so many innuendos that we had to get a machine for it. BFF had it (them) last I heard.
I’ve got an entire chamber of them. The problem is, they keep blowing-
KAPOW!
See what I mean?
I absolutely refuse to beleive that you gentlemen have clean minds! One doesn’t need to lurk for long to know that!
I am so glans to be a part of the community though.
What are you talking about?! I’ve had to put out several machines with a fire extinguisher for the past few minutes. It’s ridic-
BOOOM!!!
Aw, come BLAMO!!! on!
Look at my pretty new dress! It’s stayed on alllll day!
*does girly twirls with dress*
We’re glans you’re here! We’ll have a ball as long as the trolls don’t get testes.
Hey Ms B… How about a drink. Iced tea, long island style.
*hides camera behind his back*
…And in other news, a huge explosion has destroyed the warehouse which stored the FB innuendo machine supply. Warehouse keeper BondFan4518 was not available for comment.
Perhaps the innuendo machine would be better replaced with an innuendo vortex? Less fire, more swirly doom… Everyone wins?
Hmmm… methinks she may have an idea…
BFF what do you think? Can it be done? And how long before we destroy the fabric of space with it?
Hmm…
*scratches chin*
I suppose so. Why do you suppose we go about this “vortex of innuendo”?
Wait, what did the innuendo machine do? Did it absorb or emit innuendo? Because I thought the ‘why’ was already covered…
Wait, what did the innuendo machine do? Did it absorb or emit innuendo? I thought the ‘why’ was already covered…
Just start with a black hole.
Creates its own vortex, and swallows everything.
Oh, dammit. I’m sorry. Browser muck-up.
But AP… that would take away from Brewski’s job. He is the one that is supposed to swallow everything.
*feels dirty saying that*
Sorry, that was supposed to be a how. I have no idea how that came out as a why. Weird.
Anyway, how should we go about this? AP’s suggestion is the best so far, I think.
I think that would be a good idea. A black hole would definitely supply sufficient sucking power. The only problem is the whole “destroying the earth” thing. I read about a “sonic black hole” safely constructed on earth… But eliminating sound doesn’t really help us here.
I think we should pay a visit to the nice people at CERN, in Geneva. Perhaps they’ll help us with our black hole project.
I am still wondering what the plural of penis is — penises or peni –??
Penises, or apparently, penes. I knew penises was proper. Was not aware of penes. I’ll have to use that at work now!
There is no plural. Nobody should have more than one.
Welllllll … the best use of the double urinals in that last fail would be by someone with two peni – one for each.
But I have 2 hands!
I would love to see one of else_mama’s comments make a powered by.
Peni for your thoughts?
Powered by ….. ???
*crawls up from grave to join everyone in the gutter*
.
Anyone remember what band it was that did that song “detachable penis”?
.
*Google’s it*
.
Ah yes, King Missile. Appropriate band name, considering the song.
Clickie – SFW (as much as can be, considering)
*sticks head into thread*
This is one of the most HIGH-larious conversations I’ve ever seen on Failblog. Just wanted to let you know*
*sneaks out, but keeps ear pressed against door to hear more*
at the risk of letting every one know how lame I am (according to my son an obviously true fact) — I do not understand Aiki’s comment about “powered by…”
Else-mama – when FailBlog posts a video, just at the end of the video and before the clip stops, they put up a comment previously made on failblog that sort of relates to the video – they post a “pic” of the comment, showing the commenters name, and preface it with a “powered by”. You have to pause, stop and play to actually catch one. I hope that made sense.
yep — quite clear — thank you – thank you very much!
Thanks Judy! I had no idea myself, learn something new everyday!
My guess: Tummyache.
(Oh, was this a private party? Didn’t mean to intrude!)
*hands Chanidividus a beer*
All are welcome, as long as they’re nice and not trollish!! Want a burger? Fish?
Burger please. Beats the muffin I was going to have for breakfast!
A BBQ is a welcome shift from a nasty, rainy Monday morning.
*does the sunshine dance*
*grabs burger from aiki’s grill*
Help yourself to fixings!
It’s 90 degrees with 93% humidity. Got anything light to eat? Those heavy burgers won’t stay down in this heat.
*brings in a large bowl of homemade caesar salad*
There’s a plate of sliced marinated chicken next to the salad, in case you want a chicken caesar.
There are anchovies in the salad — just so you know.
*is allergic to fish*
Looks marvelous, though!
*makes a new bowl of salad sans anchovies – just for DW*
Awwww!
*wipes away a tear of happiness*
*then dives into bowl and begins happy nomming!*
*composed a really dirty reply*
*thought better and erased it*
Er, salad?
*bear hugs brewski* Oh, yes. You are one of my people.
.
.
Thanks, nightshayde! Caesar salad is made perfectly! *squeeze*
And no, Brewski — it’s NOT tossed.
*snork*
Dang comment got moderated…
Fruit ambrosia – fruit co¢ktail with marshmallows in your choice of whip cream. We have french vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and regular.
*Feels terrible about being caught unprepared again, with nothing to contribute*
*Searches wildly for BBQ appropriate fare*
Umm…. Watermelon, anyone?
I also have cookies. Always have cookies.
Hey, thanks Chan! *grabs cookie*
Cookies are always a favorite here on Failblog.
No problem! I always keep cookies on hand to ward off the effects upon my brain of dealing with absolute morons all day at work. It makes things easier.
Help yourself anytime!
Perfect!
Cookies? Are they Dark Side cookies? Those are my favorite!
Yes, tasty dark side cookies. Veeeeery tasty
What does a cookie need to be a Dark Side cookie?
Dark Side cookies are delicious, and when you do naughty things after you eat them you burn calories. I don’t think it’s the cookies themselves that burn the calories, but they make you do the naughty things that burn the calories off. Have I confused you yet?
“Naughty things” needs absolutely no explanation! No confusion here. I think then, yes, they are Dark Side cookies. Chunks Ahoy, spiced liberally with Dark Side.
(Although cookies themselves that burn calories… There’s an idea. For when one can not acquire the aforementioned “naughy things”.)
Dang comment got moderated…
Fruit ambrosia – fruit co¢ktail with marshmallows in your choice of whip cream. We have french vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and regular.
Those dirty-word cops are always beating down on you and Mal! Poor thing…
you said co(ktail- heh heh heh
MMMmmmmmm Marshmellows!
*Thinks of Moomin*
I’ll be the guinea pig!
*drinks*
Well?? Was it as good for you as it was for me?
Ask that after getting a bj.
Perhaps I’m an old-fashioned girl, but I thought it was more traditional to demand a sandwich afterwards?
i.e., a grilled cheese sandwich?
(That one’s for you, Avis!)
*snork*
A post grilled-cheese-sandwich sandwich?
That’s the best kind!
There’s a restaurant called “BJ’s” across the street from work. Their food is really good, but they need a better name. Maybe someone should sue them for false advertising.
The food is good, the beer is better. My friend and I stopped going there when our favorite bartender told us they were putting surveillance cameras in to watch the customers. He said they were going in all of them and they were all patched in to the main headquarters in San Diego.
We decided we didn’t like being watched while we were trying to relax.
“Relax”…is that what you kids are calling it these days?
“Getting plastered” is just a little unsubtle, even for me.
Frankie
says
Relax
I love their stuff. I’d like to meet Trevor Horn.
*Stops by with a plate*
*brings a stack of buffalo burgers and veggie burgers*
Fire it up!!
Psst! It appears someone (see below) doesn’t understand the function of a reply button!
I bet we have seen it under various names before.
And avatars as well, I’m sure.
Got in your way?! Do you think you own this blog?
Apparently some people thought I do…
*referring to Sunday’s fail*
Sunday’s fail got… A little out of hand.
Although it’s nice to see that BondFan escaped from… Er… Rehabilitation.
I’ll have to go take a look at those….brb
Hey Brewski — Sorry about Sunday … I was just messin with you and the next thing I knew you were being slaughtered!!!!
At first glance I was thinking I should stop acting like “King of Failblog” by lecturing trolls. Then I reread it, and decided you were just playing. But thanks for clarifying, Elsa. *squeeze*
I hate posting crap like that, because it does sound all stuck up and police-statish (?). I’ve seriously thought about pulling together a light-hearted FAQ, so we could just point newbies to it. I’d like to think we’re about fun, not about being a bunch of post nazis.
Did you really think I was worried about “obeying” you??? LOL — I was just playing…
I guess it is hard to know people on here too much. My failure to properly obey is what resulted in my divorded with a one and two year old 13 years ago – and is the reason my 14 year old is storming around the hosital floor right now swearing at me ….. he should know by now that I do not give in to bullying
Oh dear…whyfor are you the in the hospital, Elsa_Mama??
*brings flowers and grapes and balloons and cards and a big stuffed kitty*
My 14 year old has leukemia – he has been in the hospital for the past 2 months – he needs a bone marrow transplant. I just sit here and piss him off!!
I’m so sorry to hear that. I have a very good friend who needed a transplant (I was the donor). Know that our thoughts are with you, and though difficult to do online, if I can help in some way, let me know.
Oh, that’s right, you did mention that before! I remember you talking about donating bone marrow for the registry.
*squeezes for Elsa_Mama and Elsa_Mama’s Boy*
Hee…you really want to piss him off, you can tell him I called him that.
Trust me – I do no need help pissing him off!! LOL — and if he knew I posted on FailBlog it would ruin the site for him!
Sorry Elsa, I had forgotten about that!
I wish you and your son well. May you both live to a ripe old age, so that you can return the favor by being a pain in the ass to him!
oh trust me — I am already a pain in the ass to him. I make him eat and get out of bid and walk and all those terrible things he does not want to do … that is why he is generally mad at me on some level …
Sorry elsa, I didn’t mean “you” as in “YOU”. Hee!
I just meant the thread in general. The whole thread gave me pause, to where I wondered if I was getting a tad too big for my britches with my “troll control”. I reread and decided it was just friendly teasing.
If anybody ever really does feel that way, I honestly hope they would come right out and say it.
Honey, we’ve seen what’s in your britches often enough…we know quite well how big you are. And I think I’m not alone when I say that “too big” is not in many women’s vocabularies.
*snork*
I just watched the Sex and the City episode last night where Samantha dates a guy who is too big.
A brilliant idea! Could it also include a section on avatars that is a little more thorough than offhand references to caches and such, for those of us who are more hardware oriented, and still working on the software part?
What browser are you using? I could help out a bit.
I got as far as the gravatar thing… Oh, my reply window is different… Hmmm.
Sorry. Sidetrack. Alright, what is the next part? Signed up, pic is selected… All is well with gravatar.
Never mind. SUCCESS!
Your gravatar is showing up. If you can’t see it, clear your cache. If you don’t know how, post what browser you are using.
Chan, did you change? At work I saw two kitties. Here I see a woman’s portrait?
Many hours too late, I reply. Yes, I changed. I thought a pic of a woman (aka me) would allay any further gender confusion for the immediate future. I do not like being mistaken for a man, because it totally messes up the interpretation of my sense of humour, most of which is raunchy and offensive (and lately apparently ungettable) in nature, but only when taken from the proper perspective. Also, I’m known to be a terrible flirt, which could also go horribly wrong if one thinks I’m a man!
I hate it when that happens, so confusing…
(waves hello)
I’m back!
I would welcome you back, but I’m new! So… Hello for the first time! Is it too soon to *squeeze*?
Chan: People will better understand your humor after they get to know you a little better. And believe me, there’s plenty of the sort you describe.
One regular who used her own picture (and is also attractive) changed it after school let out, to avoid the constant harrassment.
Friendly advice: you’re very attractive, and you may find that attracting unwanted attention from hormonally-overloaded teenage trolls. Or hormonally overloaded regulars like me. (j/k)
Hopefully it’ll be okay though. You can always change at any time if you need or want.
Yes, exactly what I meant. It takes too long to explain all that crap over and over, so people just quickly say “gravatar.com” or something. Or just fail to post at all.
You write it up, and I can throw it somewhere. Providing it is the unofficial non Failblog sponsored version
*offers BFF an ice cream sundae*
Toppings are in the break room sweetie!
Hooray! I’ll be there in just a mo.
Me too, me too!
*laughs at properhardcore in every way possible*
*joins in the festivities, tears proper’s head wide open*
*feasts on the useless goo inside*
*leaves mess behind a bush, trying not to sicken the others at the BBQ*
Very thoughtful ZA, now how about doing it a little quieter. I could hear you all the way at the grill slurping!
It’s hard to housetrain a zombie.
*thinks of various zombie-type accident possibilities*
*is a-palled*
*headdesk*
Stop – I can’t bear it!
Awww, that was very considerate of you ZA! Thanks!
Well, considerate, but a little unfair to hardcore. He appears to harbor no ill intent, even if he is a newbie.
hardcore did this same thing yesterday as well, and is simply trolling on purpose for attention. It’s unfortunate, but he is owed no tolerance at this point. I am new, as well, and have not (to my knowledge), acted like a moron for the attention of the other failbloggers.
He filled out an application to be a “regular” failblogger last night.
I “filed” his paperwork in the usual fashion.
Round file huh?
“He” meaning Chan or hardcore?
Question answered!
The answer is pretty humo(u)rous, isn’t it??
(And I know that SN’s can be misleading, but Chan is most definitely and definitively female.
)
Hey DW… is there some gender change we should know about?
Ooops, sorry.
*throws a ♀ at Chanidividus in case she wants it*
Noop. I’m all woman, all the time and no one lookin’ at me would ever think any differently.
*Looks at Dragon*
You’re right. Don’t know how anyone can mistake that.
*Is deeply impressed*
Yeah, he does. Read the lower thread(s).
Ah, okay, my mistake. Thanks Avis and Chan!
Wow, a newbie spotted the troll before me. Am I getting rusty?
(No offense intended Chan, we love nice newbies!!)
I’m going to chalk the overlook up to my utter disregard about my continued employment, and therefore tendency to lurk from 9am to 5pm and occasionally beyond.
Well, you really are on the back foot. You’ve already insulted Avis twice, and you are bit, how you say, “self-centred”?
Apparently it’s “Adopt a Troll” day here on failblog.
Trolls can turn into good people.
I tried. I am finding that trolls don’t make good pets. I am about to give up on this one. Somehow I can’t help but feel that your facepalm should have been a hit upside my head. Serves me right for trying to be nice.
I wouldn’t *thwack* you for an act of kindness, Aiki…no matter how misguided it might be.
*squeeze*
I gave up several minutes ago. The word “incurable” comes to mind.
Thanks *big squeeze*
I think that I am finished with the public service in this area for the week. I just feel bad for those that legitimitally don’t know how to interact.
You know, those who you may offend might still be reading your comments. (Yeah, Yeah, I know. Strike Two. Just kick me off why don’t you and tell everyone you know to stay away from me. It’s not like I get enough of that in real life.)
Oh, the guilt trip/grasp for sympathy combo when bullying/spamming doesn’t work! Classic!
Look, when i put up something legitimate, I still fail to see why everybody hates me.
It’s too late now to try and suddenly be serious. You’ve already proved you’re quite the attention seeker.
Would anyone like to explain that? But I’m sure you think that I’ll just insult you if I answer. Is that not the case? Excuse me for being a noob, but I’ve been reading this Fail Blog for a helluva long time, and you’d think I’d know my way around the damn thing. But apparently not. And go ahead Dragon Writer. Make fun of me. That seems to be what everybody else is doing.
Well whatever, just tell me whether or not I can delete all of my posts, so that you can stop talking to me.
I seriously am going to stop posting here, this fail isn’t even that good. Not like that kick fail.
*sighs*
Oh, alright. But you have to promise not be so aggresive from now on. Labelling ZombieApocalypse a troll was just mean.
Just testing out this new name, got a little inspiration from General BondFan, sorry everyone.
Well, he was kind of being a jerk to me, but I’m very forgiving. I’m sorry ZombieApocalypse.
I think the people here are trying to be helpful. The way to stay on our good side is:
A) Don’t spam the thread
B) Avoid postings like first, photoshopped etc.
C) Until you know the people here, avoid insulting anyone
D) Use the reply button, and reply sparingly (see A)
E) Watch the threads for a week or so. If you need to comment minimize the amount of comments you post. That is the easiest way to figure out how things work here.
.
Do this and it won’t be long before you are a regular. Ignore it and the troll title becomes a stain that is very difficult to get rid of.
Well, just to point out your faults, it’s just that you’re very demanding. Patience is a virtue. You’re not going to get what you want just by filling in “applications”.
How can I reply to you, Aikiwaza, without essentially, “spamming the thread?”
All right, I’m very and extremely sorry! What can I do to make it up to everyone I offended?
That’s spamming! Please think before you comment! Put all your thoughts into the comment before you click the reply button.
I understand your question but the point is that not everything needs to be replied to. In this case your are making an effort to learn so asking a question (an appropriate one) is not considered spamming. Spamming is more of the replies to yourself, posting irrelevant comments, or trying to reply to every comment possible.
Easy GBF… I really think (s)he is just trying to get the feel of things. We can consider it probation if that works.
Sorry. I’m being a bit too hard on him there, I guess.
It’s a he. Just sayin’. No harm, right?
No harm in that (both to GBF and properhardcore).
Try and keep it short and to the point )
Let me start things over for you.
.
Hi, welcome to failblog. I’m Aiki and you have met General Bond Fan. He really is a good guy. Hope you enjoy things here.
(Here is where a “Hi folks” type reply could be given
Hi folks! Glad to be a part of the team!
*facepalm*
*Face to the knee!* (Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)
A typical knee-jerk reaction.
Haha! Good one!
Yes, but instinctively wrong.
To clarify I was pun-running AA’s comment.
@Proper – That was considered a spam comment. Strike one.
Oh good god, this is not going to end well.
Little hint, try not to reply to yourself. Try. We tend to only do so when we are correcting our own spelling or grammar mistakes. And occasionally because we forgot to add something.
Avis
is
right.
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeee….
…..eeeeeeeeeeeeeze!*
You left out trying to break the STC. Talking to yourself is good for that. Just don’t let DW know. Sssssssssh.
I heard that.
*gooses the Moomin*
*admonishes Avis … slightly … for lacking patience with someone who obviously thinks … very … slowly …*
.
Is it really his/her fault for taking 4 minutes to compose a thought? No, I blame his parents, who were obviously on serious drugs when s/he was conceived and might have been related. You just can’t expect to much from someone who’s father and mother are also his brother and sister.
Serious drugs, lol.
*raises eyebrow as she lowers sunglasses*
What was that now?
*tries to look innocent, which is difficult with worms crawling through his face*
.
Oh nothing …
You apparently have not felt the full force of a GLOWER. Not that you should have. It causes severe radiation burns, in live creatures. I’m not yet sure what it would do to a zombie.
OK. I’ll be nice this once.
To get an avatar go to gravatar.com and follow the instructions. They don’t show up immediately, so be patient and empty your cache.
If you really want to learn how to participate here I suggest you lurk for about a week to get the hang of it. Then come back and be nice.
And I’ll add spelling, grammar, punctuation and CAPITALIZATION go a long way.
*Hopes to God that helps*
Congrats PHC on the avatar. As for the troll comments, hey you have to take me with a grain of salt, so to speak. I’m a zombie after all and am perfectly capable of making mistakes. It wouldn’t be the first time either.
.
You may have bothered others with that comment (a zombie is NOT a troll, though a troll can be a zombie), but this zombie has pretty thick skin. You’ll have to do better next time if you want to make me angry. Of course that will just result in me ripping your head open again and feasting on the gooey insides.
.
By the way, I hope that didn’t hurt to much last time.
Brings in shrimps on skewers.
*Looks hopeful*
Cooked with veggies or without?
*Throws some salmon on the grill for other furry friends*
Do we have to be furry? I can stick some fake fur on if that’s the case.
Nope… all are welcome to it.
*gives aiki a dazzling smile*
Thank you!
*bats eyes*
At your service always.
Reeeaally? Hmm…
Uh oh.
*Wonders what he just committed himself to… hopes it will be fun.*
*gets in line behind IUL*
Does this mean I am in service to two? Uh oh…
OooOOOOooo!
*gets comfy with a big bowl of popcorn and a glass of pomegranate juice and club soda*
This should be good…
*settles down in chair by DW*
Milk Duds?
Did I miss anything?
Ooh, thanks. Have some popcorn.
Not yet…things are just getting started, looks like.
There’s a show over here!
*drags bean bag over*
I brought some licorice.
*pulls up a chair*
*opens a Newcastle*
Hey, what are you guys watching?
Watching you and IUL order… me… wait… if you’re here then…
I’m freeeee!!!
Licorice! Thanks.
*turns head sideways*
Hmmm – I didn’t know aiki could bend like that…
Are you sure about that?
*to no one in particular*
Poor aiki. I know what it’s like. Dragon has had me periodically doing her bidding. But I rose above it, and now I am a free man once again!
*unconsciously trims DW’s toenails, gives full pedicure while talking*
Yes sir. Very good sir.
@ IUL & skwirrlgrrl – Is there anything that madams requires from sir, while sir is here?
*considers*
Tempting, but I think I’ll let you off the hook this time. Next time will be another story.
Thank you ma’am. Kind as always.
*wiggles toes*
Hmm. I think I like the peach colored polish better…
Wow, Aiki…you seem, er, incredibly well-versed in the master/slave scenarios!
*will not ask…will not ask…will not ask…will not ask…*
*brings batch of peach martinis made with a touch of dragon-grog*
Hmmm, it might just take it off…
*sips*
MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
That is the perfect drink for a hot day. *SMOOOOCH*
*sips*
*nibbles on toes*
*GIGGLE!*
No veggies for me. Oooh, the salmon looks good too!
*tries not to drool*
If cats drool, does that mean that dogs rule?
)
(sorry, i had to
Most definitely not! Now gimme those shrimps!
*nom-nom-slurp*
*Brings skewers of marinated lamb, lemon wedges, and cherry tomatoes*
*looks hopeful*
*jumps up and down, pointing at NS’s goodies*
Get those on the grill now!!
They are already done! If you don’t hurry they will be gone.
*really hopes Brewski meant the food*
*kinda hopes Brewski didn’t, ‘cuz that would be funnier*
Ouchie for you, though. Could I have a lamb kabob, please?
Help yourself!
If they’ve cooled down too much, might be able to reheat them with a gentle *FOOM* (carefully, please). Oh — and they’re quite good with a squeeze of lemon.
*burp*
Um…THANKS! I’ll, um…I’ll try that.
*pats lips daintily with a napkin*
*big SNORK!*
Yes! the food!
Hi! Just thought I’d pop by for a minute! Angelplume said you were firing up the BBQ – so I thought I’d see if you have parties like we do!
Next time we’re having one – which – as you know – is VERY often! we’ll invite you, too!
Thanks. And you are always welcome here. Monday is the BBQ and Friday is the cuddle puddle.
{{JCH4K}}
awww… dang it i missed cuddle puddle day..* sob*
Someone moved the mouse. Don’t Do That Then.
But I NEED to move and shake it.
Does anyone else have the Norton’s advertisment just to the right of this FAIL?? lol
I was talking about Trojans and I saw an ad on the upper section. lol
I think there is a recent increase in pointless “lol”s at the end of comments. lol
Whatever could you be talking about? lol
Can’t you tell I’m joking? lol
You guys crack me up. lol
I thought this isn’t really funny. lol
Surely none of us are “loling”. Lqtm would be more appropriate? lol
I don’t lol, I RIGL. lol
Which is approbiate. lol
Would you guys quit lollygagging around? lol?
Well, butter my butt an call me a buiscuit!!! Its a pun-run! lol
Am I remiss in asking what exactly RIGL-ing entails?
Rolling in Ground, Laughing … since he’s a zombie & lives underground.
(I had to ask last week).
Neither of you lol’d at the end of your comments. For shame! lol
.
*shakes finger at both of you*
*watches finger fall off*
*decides he shook it enough*
I gal’ed out of confusion… Does that count?
lol’s twice to make up for her oversight. lol
*wonders if that should be “l’s-o-l” instead*
Dammit, I forgot to lol again. Can I just start over, and laugh maniacally throughout the whole thing to avoid any oversight?
lol.
*acquires contemplative expression*
*considers the difference between lol’s and l’s-o-l*
*makes head smolder*
*decides against continuing*
.
Chan, yes. Maniacal laughter always works. lol
.
*laughs maniacally himself, just for fun*
l’s-o-l is for killing germs.
You know, saying “first” isn’t a good way to start on Faiblog.
Who are you talking to?
AVG owns
Uh, I’d say that’s the IT department’s fail for not renewing the subscription…
More like Fox fail for using Windoze on those computers
*sighs sadly*
No BBQ for me today! Have a great day all, hopefully I can make it back here later.
*sniff*
*blows kiss*
We’ll miss you!
*waves*
Waves? Forget that.
*blows kiss to Malicite*
Bye, Mal!
*admires the way Malicite’s slip wafts in the breeze as he walks away*
How does one think it’s first 21 minutes after the real first reply was submitted?
*slow, sad headshake*
It doesn’t (that’s the clue).
This is what we call the “attention whore” troll. Quite common, and many can be lulled into a false sense of security in its presence.
They give me the pip, though.
Makes me feel slimed.
I learned in college that I’m the type who can easily acquire puppy-dogs, when one tried following me back to my dorm one evening. He just started talking to me on the bus, and was calling me his friend by the time we got off the bus, but in a way like he was imposing it on me or assuming it of me, rather than it being my choice. Blech.
Hi ya AP!
{{{AP}}}
Hope this helps.
Hee…! I get that, too. Last semester I had a puppy-dog student. It got to the point where I was actually uncomfortable and had to do something about it, which was not pleasant.
Thanks, guys *squeeze (aiki/DW)*
It’s kinda sad, really. I’d been reading something when he started talking to me, so was put off right away by the imposed interruption. I had only responded to be polite, and quickly realized that even being rude and obvious only encouraged him to tell even longer stories (about himself, of course).
I was very careful never to confirm his assertations of my own friendship toward him, and never used the word myself. To no avail.
It was still very hard to squish him when he flashed the puppy-dog eyes, but I didn’t want him knowing which dorm I lived in, no less the room. Double-blech *squeezes again*.
People like that latch on to me a lot, too. It’s hard to pry them off, even with a crowbar. They just ooze around it and cling to you like the Blob.
People like that are often very lonely and sometimes mildly to moderately developmentally challenged. They never learned to read or interpret social cues in their development as a child. It really isn’t their fault, just like a person with MS is not at fault for his or her physical disabilities, but it can be very hard on the people they interact with. It’s clear that you had a lot of sympathy and empathy for this person, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with defending your space and your privacy. {{AP}}
Yowza! Looks like left here to run errands just in time!
And, as one of those with a certain type of learning disability, learning those cues can be unbelievably difficult. I like to explain it like teaching the deaf to talk; it can be done, but it will almost always be just a little bit off.
*throws an ‘I’ up ^^^*
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
I had a few spares. Too bad you missed the attempted reformation of trolls. Wait… you’re probably better off missing it.
I saw what this one was pretty early. I had one piece of advice to give and did so. Not that it helped. At all.
We really do need to come up with that list of “rules”. Then all we’d need is a door to nail it to.
Leave it to me!
I know. I should have taken your hint, but thought maybe I could convert this one. Oh well. I told someone, Brewski i think, that if someone writes it up I can post it…
There are some who are also simply just reaching out. There is nothing wrong with them at all. There are people that are close to the brink of total solitude and want someone to validate their existence. The just need someone to acknowledge their being/person. (I don’t consider being alone a disorder)
I didn’t say being alone was a disorder. Sometimes ones solitude is an indirect result of a disability.
Yes and no. The being alone part is not the disorder but rather the end result. Being shunned by one’s parents all ones life and reaching out for something, anything is what I was driving at. I have come across my fair share of clingers as well. It always feels awkward when they attempt to muscle their way into one’s plans.
Ummm…. Emp? While that’s not exactly what I was saying, it’s very very close. In both cases the clinger is not entirely at fault. That’s what makes it so sad.
Oh, I wasn’t so much reflecting on your comment as clarifying my own comment sorry Avis. I was waiting on anyone so I wouldn’t have a monologue going. Though I now having re-read your comment would like to change my acknowledgment to a I agree. Instead of my incorrect “yes and no”.
What are we trying to do? Diagnose me with something? If that’s the case, I’m eager to know what I have.
At the risk of angering many, I actually referenced myself up there. Just to point it out. While my learning disability is relatively minor, I have some small issues. Those who have been here at least as long as I have will remember my bringing this up.
Now, I was not referring to anyone else specifically. But I can if needed.
How dare you Avis.
.
.
.
You could never be a loner. You will always have us. Also from the description of those “wildlife shows” you do for your out of town friends; well I would say I would love to hear one in person. If I did I could say that you have a friend in me. An update on that advice admiral. Thanks for it. Though it did not work out well in the end. (the one of being there for the girl) She now doesn’t want anything with me at all. She used me as a crutch and now my role is meaningless as she has a boyfriend who doesn’t approve of her talking to other guys without him around… though thank you very much.
Emp, thanks! But I am quite serious when I talk about my disabilities. This does not make me a loner at all, but it does mean that every once in a while I make a complete and utter ass of myself. And any time you find yourself in Chi-town, drop a line here, I’ll get it. You will be of legal drinking age, right?
American’s drinking age in august yes! Canadian drinking age, for a while now.
Well there, PCH, I also register on the autism scale. Think really high functioning aspergers. I think the difference is when entering new environments I know that what I say may not come out right. So I tell the group and ask them to work with me. I did not come here quite as snarky as I am now. I try to work with in whatever the system happens to be, in social situations at least.
I’m actually trying to be helpful here. You only really get to be snarky when you’ve been here awhile. Otherwise, we think you are acting in a hostile manner.
Ok, what just happened?
Wow. Everything unraveled and then came back together again!
That was WEIRD!
I like a good lightning storm.
We love you Avis, snarkiness included.
Awwwww…… THANKS!!!
The use of language is an art. Try using that art that you studied for the betterment and uplifting of those whom you’ve chosen to converse.
This is a site for levity. I usually share stories from my past, nice pieces of other people’s writings and the occasional bit of wit that my poor abused brain can come up with. (yay! 2 prepositions at the end of a sentence.)
Sometime I join the pun runs if I have one. Crap, on occasion I’ve been a pun run all by myself. I’ve been here about a year now, and have only gotten one *hug*, but I don’t get all pouty about it. I don’t ask people what I’ve done wrong and I don’t fling abuse, ever. (OK, almost never. That guy yesterday really bugged me so I flamed him. On the other hand he certainly hasn’t been around before, and dropping in to make the remark of a cretin deserved some response.) But I digress.
The comment I’m replying to ends with an insult to whomever you are replying. The last word will be what is remembered. So just chill, dude. Use that Language Arts thingy to everyone’s advantage.
*hug*
here you go
ha makes wo.
*Squeeze*
You can have one of hoose wo.
*squeeze*
Awwww. Shucks. 
I’m new, hours late for the conversation, and I don’t really know you, but **HUG** anyways!
*bunny squeeze* I’m sorry Neener….have a couple more!
*REALLY BIG SQUEEZE*
*one squeeze for the road*
ah, windows, why do you have to suck so hard?
Oh, that’s a feature I have never tried!
*Pulls down pants*
And that’s only one of hundreds of reasons you should never use Norton. Welcome to the world of superior *free* anti-virus products!
…People still use Norton?
They must like computers that crash…
Did see and I when oh,then
Norton be
see
and the price.
*reads comment*
*reads comment again*
*re-reads comment again*
*thinks you might be missing an eagle or three*
I haven’t called you a troll.
Who me Neener?
No – Hardcore. I don’t know how that ended up here. Nesting fail.
I was trying to set up a joke but it did not work.
Related to Norton virus fail.
Sorry I tortured you through it Zombo man.
crack it, damn it
This is why Norton should be free
LOL. I guess they forgot to update their subscription.
i just love norton, it helps me pick the wrong choises everytime so i dont have to think, thanks norton!
As u can see there is a little rain over new york that will continue in to th…. o my god….. what is that….. there seems to be somthing forien on our radar. Its like a big square space ship over the entire city area. its starting to power up it main weapon. oh dear god, all the innocent that will parish in the flames. DOSE GOD HAVE NO COMPASION. oh….. its gone. now there is only rain…. again
Ummm a little help please… I locked myself in the cellar while trying to hide from the square.
*runs around the room, screaming*
.
THE SKY IS FALLING!! THE SKY IS FALLING!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!
Just so you know it qfrom us computer experts: Norton Antivirus always is a total fail. We experts all hate it. We prefer and recommend using something lightweight, small, fast, and free. AVG, Avast, Avira, something like that.
Of course, real experts would note, that you don’t need anti-virus software, when you got a real OS, like Linux. (Or MacOSX sometimes.)
That’s good to know. Thanks for the advice.
Its a good thing the experts are here…
http://eatabigone.wordpress.com/2009/06/22/i-hate-children/
this guy probably went to my school.
Yet another reason to stay away from Norton… It will even ruin a TV broadcast.
I saw the title and I was like, “Yes. Yes it does.”
Yes we can!
Did he die?
Why am I not surprised?
You’re psychic?
Oooh! Oooh! You’re visiting from the future?
Oooh! Oooh! I know! Because you had a surprisectomy?
They took yer job!
I knew you were going to say that.
You haven’t seen the pickle yet.
Take your time properhardcore, breath LOL.
It looks like I still have a friend in this forum of hard-asses.
Hahahaha! I never use Symantec. Bloatware with constant, annoying pop-ups that I’ve seen on co-workers’ systems. NOD32 FTW, to turn off ALL notifications and messages, and scan faster than Symantec.
photoshopped
Yeah! Look at the pixles!!!1!!!11!!1!!one!!!
F1rST! L4ST!!1 LOLOLOLOLO-
*head explodes*
Did GBF die?
*scoops up GBF bits and grabs the crazy glue*
I like turtles. lol
*crawls from grave after hearing GBFF’s head explode once again*
*looks for debris, can’t find any*
*pouts*
*slinks back into grave*
I’ll let you borrow the CCC from ICHC — it is the best thing for cleaning up head explosions (or splorts in, well – nevermind)
Scoops up GBF’s brains — washes them off with a martini (shaken – not stirred) – dumos them back into GBF’s head and replaces the fragmented head bones. Wraps the hed in duck tape – Neon Pink – wraps GBF ina nice warm blankie and gives him a chocolate martini (shaken not stired) to sip as he recovers …
Elsa_Mama, GBF’s not old enough for a martini yet!!!!
It’s okay katy, it was a virgin martini, I watched Elsa mix it. In fact, I *hic* guarded the booze so she wouldn’t *hic* use any!
Ah yes — I keep forgetting his tender age … But yes the Brew Man made sure I did not pull a boner — thank Brewski —
………
*zips lips*
.
.
.
*but it’s really, really hard*
DAMMIT! I just couldn’t help myself.
But — I teed it up for you — why do you resist????
She just keeping a stiff upper lip in the face of all this flaccid humor.
I don’t like being predictable, that’s all. I like to keep an air of mystique…danger…je ne sais quoi…
You know, the whole package.
lol Brewski
Well — time for the shift change at the hospital and my lovely daily encounter with my ex where he pretends I am not in the room — catch you guys later!!!
I gotta hand it to Dragon, she demonstrates much rigor adhering to pun-runs.
*eyes Dragons adhesions and hole package*
*puts a potato in jennyisbusy’s talking orifice*
The one predictable (well, sort of) tasty treat I get around here and you show everyone how to deny it to me.
.
Thanks a lot Elsa.
there is usually a bit of brains left on the floor — you just have to lick it up. That is why it is not a good idea to splort too often — each time you lose some of your brains — and depending oin the rinsing fluid you cold alos suffer a bit of mental incapacitation …
Dear Failblog Failmods -
You are morons. How did Norton fail? It’s their fail to not update their software.
Failblog absolutely sucks lately. I only come here now to witness it’s degeneration and ever increasing ad space.
Suck it Failblog. Suck it hard.
Love,
Momo
Momo? As in peach?
FYI – Mods aren’t here. The contact us link might better serve you.
*grins at Aiki*
I had to. You weren’t here. Though I seem to lack your unique flair for it.
What? My penchant for snark? The way I tell the offender where to best vent their complaints, all the while treating them like small, slow children? That?
No no… Your uncanny knack to tell them where to shove it and that we don’t care in a manner that is helpful and yet slightly irritated at the…
*rereads Avis’ post*
Yes… that.
Hee! I’ve had lots of practice!
You must teach me master.
You pretty much have down already. You just have to not really care overmuch if you offend people. I mean, try not to offend your friends, but open fire on the trolls!
I’m emporarily suspended from roll bashing due o keyboard malfuncion (see if you find he problem) I was geing good a i oo (Been pracicing in oher forums)
Hee! ha’s a prey good problem. I’m liking his.
Missing a key there are you? The “T” perhaps? I can understand that. I will say if you press hard enough where the key should be, you might be able to activate it.
I use a body rub called SEMPRINI.
Right! Come with me, sonny!
*drags Aja away*
Great stuff people.
Bwa ha ha ha ha!
I consider McAfee a virus. It caused my computer so many problems, and it refused to be removed for the longest time by whatever means I tried.
Eventually I got rid of it using a program called HijackThis!
Windows is a virus. I call it CIDS.
Practice safe computing.
Do it with Ubuntu.
Ubuntu is safe until you start messing with the udev rules and the init.d file.
If you don’t know what you’re doing with the udev rules and the init.d file, why on earth would you be messing with them?
.
Chainsaws are safe until you start checking the sharpness of the chain with your face.
Ooh, better yet … winblows is dangerous until you start messing with the registry!
Macs are safe until you start trying to anything it was not advertised to do. (And in case you’re wondering, it’s not advertised to do anything.)
Ou est Bod?
I thought he would be back by now?
*squeezes the moomin*
*drives off into the night*
*squeeze*
*waves as GBF vanishes over horizon*
*cries into hankie*
*wonders why his sleeve is full of moomin tears*
*squeeze*
‘ello gov’nah.
*hands over a stick with a marshmallow*
*salutes at marshmallow*
Me and Arthur cooked these this morning. Saved one for you.
Why thank you.
*salutes marshmallow as it is about to embark on its last journey*
*enjoys marshmallow*
*smiles*
*brakes*
*reverses in front of Moomin*
Did you say MARSHMALLOW?!
*feels compression on feet*
TOES TOES TOESSSS!!!!!
Ouch ouch ouch. GBF DRIVE QUICK!
Eek!
It was Emperor!
*flees*
Points to the moomin. *perplexed look* Fleas? Its time for me to get his medication I guess.
*pulls feet from under wheels*
*painfully takes off after the moomin*
haha Get a Mac
omg as i watched this, my norton antiviris said ‘fail detected’ and started scanning
D
omg as i watched this, my norton antiviris said ‘fail detected’ and started scanning
Weatherman focusing on the job at hand win
Pretty decent fail.
Would have been epic fail though if it had caused the computer to get a BSOD or reboot suddenly on live television…. X3 hehe
How is this a norton fail? Norton was doing what it does best…
Really off opic : he key ha comes afer R on my keyboard is broken. (Reason for bad spelling)
Off Topicish: Will someone PLEASE each me how o make smileys? Please Please Please Please Pleeeeaaasssseee???
Google “wordpress codex smiley”.
Well, 38 ou of 39 isn’ bad a all. (I hae no having a key ha rhymes wih P and is no V B D E or F) ( I hink I missed some)
Never mind, you did have that.What a beauty of a comment.
I know eh?
*Squeeze*
Long ime no see
That comment will be very helpful.
Really? How?
I pasted it into TextEdit (the Mac version of Notepad) and now I can add any of them anytime! Bravo.
I was jus really excied ha I can now do smileys.
(And I know wha ex edi is. I used a Mac.)
(Now i has a broken T key)
(If I press really really hard and hold i sooner or laer a T will appear.)
(No. I won’ ake i o a genius. hey piss me off.)
I’d sugges a new keyboard. I’m having a hard ime reading your poss.
If i’s a lapop, perhaps an exernal keyboard.
his is kind of fun!
Yeah, Bu if I ge a new keyboard. I will void he warrany on my brand new 4500 macbook pro (No. I called Apple. hey won’ cover i under warrany for some reason.)
(even hough I jus go i las week)
An external USB keyboard will not void your warranty. I expect that Apple won’t fix your problem because they can say you abused it, etc.
By he way…
hanks for puing up wih he skechy forma!
Hehehe. I made a smiley
(I’m sill really excied abou ha)
Test.
Now it doesn’t work! Hmmm.
Your “T” worked when it was capitalized. Silly keyboard.
Your keyboard isn’t full of fur, is it? I pulled enough fur to make a whole ‘nother kitten out of one of the keyboards at home a while back. It’s amazing how much better the keyboard worked after that!
*snork!*
I took my laptop to get it cleaned at the computer repair store near here, and they took it outside and blasted it with pressurized air. A big *PHLUMPH!* of fur billowed out, and one of the tech guys who was passing at that moment stopped, stared, and said, “My gawd, did that thing swallow a CAT???”
It was pretty funny, but I think I
-ed anyway.
I never realized a keyboard could hold quite so much fur.
Many years ago I ran the service department for a computer retailer. You would not believe the stuff that can accumulate inside computer equipment. It was a bad day for keyboards when “Runts” candy became popular. The worst looking computer innards I saw was from a PC located in a bakery. Flour aerosol built up in layers and coated everything inside and created a mutant blob ecosystem.
Hmm…I tried to *snorkroffle* and *ewwwwwww!* and the same time, and ended up swallowing a sneeze instead. Interesting sensation.
I felt a little bit bad cleaning it up.
Please describe the sound for us!
YAY!!! Somehing ha sared wih a pos I made earned a snorkleroffle
Ughhhhh
ha is really really gross.
I beer go ge a mop.
How do ruts fit in a keyboard? I certainly get my share of gunk in my keyboard — but a whole runt??
*typety-typety-type…*
CRUNCH!
*pause*
That can’t be good…
I think I have the candy correct. They’re pretty small, and get right by the keys in some old keyboards.
Nerds, I think you’re thinking of Nerds. Runts are waaaaaaaaaaay too big to fit into a keyboard. But the really small Nerds would fit just fine.
GMTA Avis (I’m in Chicago too!)
We should go to a Millennium Park concert sometime!
Thanks Avis and Elsa_Mama, I did mean Nerds.
Ahhh.. I think you mean NERDS — they are very small and would certainly fit into the keyboard. Otherwise DWhas it right — you would have to be crunching and having the runts faaling out of your mouth — not that I can’t see myself dooing that….
OMG too many typos to mention – that what happens when I type in the dark
Pssst! Blame the keyboard….
snorklroffle — is that an under water roffle? I think that would be interesting all by itself – even without the ewwwwww….
Well – I managed to stick out work for the whole day. Now I’m going to go home and try to shake this stupid cold.
Please, everyone have fun at least until I see you again.
If there are any Failpeeps in the D.C. area, I hope you & your friends & family are ok (there was a Metro crash, in case the news hasn’t gotten around to everyone yet).
I heard about that.
*cheez-squeeze for nightshayde*
*comfort-squeeze for any affected Failpeeps and Cheezpeeps*
I hope you feel better tomorrow, nightshayde.
Thanks, DW. I know LCB is from that area — but she checked in over on ICHC & is fine. We have some other cheezpeeps from the area as well — just waiting to hear from everyone & hoping everyone is ok.
We went through this with a cheezpeep from Mumbai last November. It’s amazing how attached we can become to people we’ve never met & how much we care about our far-away online friends.
I know…! It’s absolutely amazing how close we can all become, having never even stood in the same room together. This is why I tend not to make a distinction between “real life” and “online friends”.
Some of my online friends mean more to me than folks I deal with in person every day.
OK – really leaving now.
*squeeze*
I couldn’t agree more, my dearest friend.
*big smile!*
I figured we would once again be in accord.
Heh — we seem to have lost an extremely large number of posts.
As someone who has NOT called you a troll, nor mocked you in any way today, I hope you will read this post & not disregard it out of hand.
If you’re trying to gain acceptance & be welcomed with open arms, you’re really not going about it in the right way. You’ve been putting out a ton of posts, but not really saying anything meaningful — as if you’re just posting to see yourself post. Rather like the proverbial little boy who cried wolf, you’ve succeeded in making sure nobody will listen to you. The thread is not necessarily dead — it’s just that people are ignoring you and talking amongst themselves.
On the other hand, if your aim is to clog up the thread and be a major annoyance to everyone here, you’re doing a fantastic job.
If you are interested in fitting in and playing nicely with others, you might find yourself quite welcome. If you’re not interested in fitting in and playing nicely with others, you likely won’t. The ball is pretty much in your court.
*Takes it to the hoop*
*SLAM DUNK*
**Note**
Only possible if the net has been lowered.
Not that anyone will ever see this, but…
This is a double-FAIL, actually. That stupid pop-up announcing that “your subscription to Norton AntiVirus has expired” is actually a virus that gets past NA. You’re expected to click on it to renew, but to do so is to admit a more serious Trojan horse into your system. Before long, your computer will be shutting itself off spontaneously, especially if you try to back-up your files. If they had NA on their system, it failed if this notice popped up.
Ahh…I used to get that a lot, and the computer at work gets that pop-up. I always click cancel, since we aren’t allowed to download anything. It’s nice to know I was doing the right thing.
Geena whaneka howe noathka winn ,seakj haiijhs nekwas yoii
I heard that originally Errol Flynn wanted to call his book “In Like Me”, but the publisher said no.
YOU CANT HACK OR NOTHING I GOT NORTON!!!!111
Even the weather needs Norton…
Nice job weatherman
Total Norton fail
Ahhh… Windows.. so idiotic..
MAC RULE
Hey Steve,
Should you use proper grammar? “Mac Rule?”
What is this “Mac Rule?” Is that to rule where a crash is not called a crash but an involuntary restart? That way you can say “Macs Never Crash.”
Go buy “Speaking English for Dummies” Mr. Jobs.
Oh yeah, and damn right I stole your Operation system and made Windows Based off of it, but look how damn rich I am!
Steve Jobs Fail!
Billy G OUT!
yeah norton just sucks!
amen to that. and mcafee, too. space and power hogs. get more protection by putting a condom over the cpu. at a much smaller cost!
norton
Norton Anti-Virus is fail in and of itself.
Title fail. That’s a fail on the part of whoever didn’t either renew their subscription or uninstall the program if they weren’t using it. Only call it a Norton Fail when the program doesn’t let you know that you’re not protected.
I can one-up this one. I have twice seen a blue screen of death. First, on the departures screen at my nearest international airport. The second on one of the marquees of Turner Field in Atlanta. Both were public, and both were utterly hilarious
*facepalm* I forgot the last period.
Hee hee hee, funny!
Their first mistake was to use windows, and their second mistake was to use norton. One of these days it will BSOD. I’ll be waiting.
It probably will BSOD but not because windows is bad. When you have a server system like that it requires so many untested fixes that one of them goes bad and causes a BSOD. When it does you won’t see it because it will be server-based. The entire channel will go black.
Norton sucks anyway
That is so true! I hate Norton!
I think it’s fake, the man would’ve noticed plus the person who submitted this probably recorded it and then got the notice to come up while recording the video for Failblog.
It’s a shame. I learned 8086 assembler programming from one of Peter Nortons excellent and funny books. The Norton Commanders split view interface is now replicated on most file managers. There exist no modern desktop systems where undeletion of files isn’t available (aka trash can, aka recycle bin).
1. Be a software pioneer on the PC and make excellent software in the 80’s
2. Sell your last name as a trademark to a big ugly software company in 1990.
3. Be forever associated with crap software (that you didn’t write) on a crap OS (that you never wrote software for).
FAIL!
Avast for life
Ubuntu for life.
Video is removed!
:O
fail NORTON ANTIVIRUS comments fail
Video is BACK
Anti-Virus PLUS is best software that not only offers all the essential features necessary to provide virus
protection to a PC, Free Download Antivirusbut can also be
adapted for easy use. It is equally effective in case of advanced custom system scan as well as set-and-forget
security. Besides being quite user friendly, it effectively scans and cle
stop spam john!
at least it didn’t scream. i heard it can do that in this case