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Cheezburger Network Blog
I miss the SNL samurai skits!
What season were those on?
YEARS ago. Belushi was in ‘em. *pouts* I miss them too!
- John – Belushi.
Well, yeah. I thought that was a given.
I tried to post a link but the blogmonster ate it. Go to livevideo.com and search SNL samurai deli.
Third time’s the charm? C’mon!
.
Search SNL samurai deli. You’ll find it.
.
He was on there early to late 1970’s.
I posted the link, but it’s awaiting moderation.
.
*restrains self, does NOT eat moderators brains*
.
I accidentally forgot to remove the clickie since, so any of them here today is the same link.
*notices moderator ate his post with the link in it*
*attacks moderator vehemently, ripping his/her skull open and spreading the mess over a large area*
*savagely feasts on gray matter inside skull*
*makes nightmarish noises throughout the ordeal*
*leaves a horrendous mess behind*
*didn’t know that automatic filters had a brain*
*wonders how dumb they are to let “fück” pass*
John Belushi’s dead. You shouldn’t knock that, it will be your mom someday.
Yes, dumbass. He died. Try and keep up, ok?
Oh my god cool guy!!! I hate you and I don’t even know you.
*KNOWS that is a Green Day song, but can’t at the moment figure out which one … it’s off Dookie I think ….*
… and “is” and spelled “no1″ like a 7 year old girl.
Wow. . . I think the bukkit may have exploded from partol’s comment.
The song is called Chump, if I remember correctly! =)
Wow, that was like forever ago. Where have you been the last 30 or so years?
The wedding cake one was a true classic. How many were there?
I remember:
Samurai Deli
Samurai Optometrist
Samurai Taylor
Samurai Night Fever (with, IIRC, OJ Simpson as the guest host that week)
OJ. How ironic.
speaking of oj -too bad this isn’t real…
Tailor. Samurai Tailor. D’oh.
Samurai Taylor: ditzy, valley girl blonde in a kimono, weilding a kitana. AKA bishojo bushido.
Which is very like wielding a katana, I suppose…
Also Samuri TV repairman.
Early to mid 1970’s.
.
Clickie for a link.
1976 or so
Woopsie!
*squeezie*
Why hello there.
*squeeze*
I had a dr’s appointment earlier. Did I miss anything important?
Just the usual. Arthur got stripped naked and scrubbed by Leila. My head and the seat of my pants caught on fire. And we had a heated debate on the merits of Star Wars.
ps: *squeeze!*
OHMIGAWD, I almost forgot!! Mr Cuddle’s employer blocked FB!!
We are all in mourning…
Oh NO! ‘Tis a sad, sad day for FailBlog!
We’d like to say the same thing about you. How dare you dismiss mr. cuddles like that.
I agree! Mr Cuddles is the nicest person once you get to know him!
No kidding… ugh, the nerve.
*takes tongue out of General Bondfan’s ear. this place is going to hell in a handbasket *
who is mr cuddle?
lol
*GLOWERS the twerp-trolli into a puddle of radioactive goo*
You either a loser of unprecedented proportions, or you don’t know cuddles, or you are simply trolling. In any case, you may get your ass the hell out of our blog, thank you.
*crouches in Brewski’s lap, hissing, ears drooped and tail between her legs* Yes, go away bad man!
*would rip Bob’s head open, but doesn’t feel like expending the energy only to go hungry afterward*
hm… that makes me wonder…
if you eat Chinese brains, are you hungry an hour later?
I’m so glad I didn’t have anything in my mouth when I read that. Cleaning tea out of the keyboard is SUCH a drag.
That happens when you eat at McDonalds, methinks.
Drinking while reading around here is quite dangerous for the electrical equipment surrounding you. As well as your nose…
The answer is YES
well, it’s noon on the east now.
the east of what, it was 1:18 here when you posted that EST.
East of Eden?
I didn’t hear that!!!
*gets megaphone, positions right in Ms B’s ear*
HE SAID: “Mr CUDDLES’ EMPLOYER BLOCKED FB”
*cringes at feedback noise*
Ok, I’m deaf now.
*hands Ms B a ShamWow, in case her ear is bleeding*
Oooh! That means you get a free dog!
No, I’m thinking of something else. Nevermind.
If you need a sign language interpreter, I’m for hire.
what would rock ‘n roll be without feedback?
Please remember that he is going to try and use his phone to get on here :/
How do we hold Cuddle Puddles if mr cuddles isn’t here?
We will continue the cuddle puddles until he returns and even afterward.
We should arrange a cuddle puddle with a strudel poodle leaving space for mr. cuddles to sneak in and feel the squeeze when he can.
But if a fight erupted it would become a cuddle puddle strudel poodle battle. and if an audi drove by and jumped in they would all be toast. Because at an Audi cuddle puddle strudel poodle battle ended by the drive-by is an Audi win.
Hence the need for the memorial.
*I almost don’t want to post this*
NO BATTLES!!!
As long as we don’t fuddle the cuddle puddle, or muddle your rebuttal.
Mr. Cuddles will never disappear…he’ll just be here less…
We’ll miss him much…but be strong and happy
It’s the Mr. Cuddles way.
*hands the Moomin and dragon flagon*
You can give him this when you see him. I put his favorite flavor of margarita in it.
*squeeze!*
But didn’t the Flagon with the Dragon have the poison?
(the vessel with the pestle had the brew that is true)
At first, the pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true.
*crash* Uh-oh. They broke the chalice from the palace and replaced it with the flagon with the dragon.
Now the pellet with the poison’s in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.
Just remember that.
Nightshayde, that was cruel. My head is spinning.
Danny Kaye FTW!!!
*pulls the swooning couch from ICHC*
Here – relax on this for a few minutes. It’s very comfortable.
If you’ve never seen “The Court Jester,” I highly HIGHLY recommend that you do so. Danny Kaye is simply brilliant in it.
A don’t forget to give him a *squeeze* from me!
*facepalm*
*bukkits*
Not needed…I complemented you.
As you always do.
*smooch*
Awwww – I’m only a newcomer, and was wondering yesterday where Mr Cuddles had gone.
One of our ICHC regulars got blocked at work for a little while — but the company changed its mind & she’s back now!
Here’s hoping Mr Cuddles’ employer will see the light soon.
*sends mr cuddles’ employer a bunch of light bulbs & an angry letter*
I hope so too nightshayde.
*crouches in Leila’s lap, hissing at Bob and tail between her legs* He’s a bad man Leila! He called Cuddles a tosser!
*slides in behind brewski and rubs his shoulders*
.
You’ve had a rough morning!
.
Star Wars? I like the original 3 (which are now 4, 5, and 6). Not impressed with the new three, but I was expecting too much.
Thanks, velvet. *smooch*
I’m still bummed about cuddles, tho.
It happens a lot. My former employer had IT staff that all they did was watch where employees went online and block sites.
.
Pr0n? Sure, block that. But music stations? Failblog? C’mon now.
.
*smooches back*
It’s kinda funny, if my employer had any idea how much of a time vampire this site is becoming to me they might ask me to block it. I would have to, but then I would also know the way around the block I created.
.
Fortunately, as long as everything is working smoothly they just leave me alone.
Time vampire! I love that! That’s a new one for me.
.
I have one of those ‘they leave me alone’ jobs, too. The pay isn’t up to market value, but it’s the most relaxing job I’ve ever had. Except when the boss is on a tirade, but those are rarely directed at me. I just get stuck listening to other people get f-bombed by him.
Jeebus…I waste so much time here…
Malicite…I do too. Guess I better go and really focus on this thing they call work.
I’m honestly lucky they haven’t blocked it here. I keep getting paranoid they’re going to notice how much time I spend here.
I never get back to work. I fail all day, Monday through Friday. Long live us!
Erm, Mal, Leila? “Wasted”???
Time well spent! IMHO.
*pats Ms B on back*
Fack touche Arthur…touche…
*lifts up his rock and hides under it*
Are you lifting up Arthur’s rock???
Yeah, calling this “wasted” time was like a samurai sword right through the heart…!
I was thinking more towards the time where I just sit around waiting for people to respond, not the overall experience of sharing time with each of you…
Well saved, Mal!
Just in the nick of time.
Did I say ‘waste’?
Aw come on…you knew what I meant!!!
It was a rather cutting remark…
It’s true, you did.
And BrewsKi was saying some bad things about you two fails ago LOL. Afternoon Avis I hope all went well at Dr. appointment.
Wrong person. Velvet had the appointment.
Since I had the appointment, does that mean brewski was saying bad things about avis?
Maybe we should go check?
OK, curiosity got the better of me. I checked the last two fails, but I didn’t say anything bad about anyone. Except the bonehead troll that insulted mr. cuddles.
*moves on*
Thanks for checking on that, brewski!
.
And, on that note, I just have to get some work done. Pfffft. Tomorrow, my dear peoples! *smooches and squeezes all around*
Kidding made you look hahahaha.
Excuse me? “bad things” about who?
I have no idea what he’s on about. I know that I was trying to say that the twerp-troll did indeed “idiot” , assuming that idiot can be a verb.
Can you use it in a sentence with “accidenty”?
I’m so confused…
He is accidenty an idiot. Yeah, I can use it in a sentence. I can even use it as a verb, he idioted accidenty. I can even use it in a slanderous sentence … oh wait, I think I already did.
.
*FINALLY remembers to remove his clicky*
Ouchie!
seventh
It sounded like Chewbacca was crying in the slow-mo bit.
I say more like zombies.
No, to coherent. Sounded more like Chewbacca to me.
.
*moans incoherently*
.
See?
I’m sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you.
Could you be a little more coherent?
Not quite there. Stop slurring and you may have it.
Tsk. It’s a shame when federal agents can’t even spell “coherent.”
Sad, really.
Blame Bush, I do.
You really expect a lot from those serving the pubic, I see.
I’m groin to expect less as time passes.
What’s a merkin citizen to do?
I think we should strive to be a kinder, genitaler nation.
That would be lovely. In the meantime, I’m going to watch a movie. “Crotching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” anyone??
I’ll bring the candy!
Mounds, anyone?
No thanks — but I’ll have a Super Dickmann’s please!
Blame Bush for a whole heck of a lot, I do.
*hands ZA a bowl of perfectly seasoned, warm fresh brains and a spork*
Just because.
*flashes NS as warm a smile as possible with worms and maggots crawling through the eyes, ears, nose and mouth*
Wow, thanks!
*facebowl*
numnumnumnum!
*drinks soda through straw*
I think he was just talking about my drink here.
*sucks on straw*
*POUNCE!!*
I knew you wouldn’t remain hidden from me.
*rubs hide*
Why fail? He knew that the guy in the background was about to attack him.
Talk about a pre-emptive strike.
*scampers over to Arthur and squeezes, settling in his lap and purring*
*pat pat pat squeeze*
That’s NOT Taya the cat!!!
*sneaks up on Arthur…*
*squeeze!*
I see where you had a close shave last fail.
*salutes*
*reconsiders*
*squeezes*
The girls here are known to take the initiative. Which is good, as you know.
When they take the initiative and run with it, well, you just have to follow along!
Is the initiative shiny?
Yes, when it gets the upper hand.
Now really, Admiral…I thought that what we did last night was private!!
Who did Leila get to put the ointment on you?
Yep, he was the buzz of the blog.
We’re not finished with him…
You’re looking very trim Leila, have you lost weight?
You noticed?
*twirls and falls flat on her face*
Ahem! Are you trying to distract me?
*mouth curls into permanent smile*
maybe!
I think I failed to fashion an effective pun run there. Oh well…
And you were just a flash in the pants!
assassin win!
Uh, I didn’t see anyone die. Assassin FAIL!
Be very honored … I give you sword.
Um … hey! Now put that down! *runs*
Forcibly.
lol
Wow, these fails never get old. (Neither did the kid in the crowd?)
Is that a real sword?
This incident probably took a few years off his life.
It’s a singing sword, and it prefers to be wielded by a soprano.
Then shouldn’t it go to a kid who’s tenor under?
Alto, to the kids over ten.
*takes notes*
*consults grade scale*
Ugh, I wish it wouldn’t sing. I just can’t baritone.
That could get you in treble.
*flings herself over a clef*
Did he make a booboo?
It’s only a slash wound.
Must be a cut above the rest.
That is the slice of life.
It’s a bit tang-y though.
He’s pretty sharp all right.
How knife of you to complement him.
I’ll take S-Words for 500 Alex.
and the answer is a long steel instrument sometimes used in war.
Oh no, this question has me all edgy.
What a sharp reply!
Yes, it sword high above the ordinary.
Just try and machet(e)
Why are you so blunt?
Just try to sabre the moment.
While you know the pen is mighter than the bilbo
Penis mightier.
*giggles immaturely*
than the dildo …
Don’t be such a dirk.
.
Bilbo:a thrusting-sword; Bilbos have well-tempered and flexible blades.
You are all determined to play this up to the hilt, I see!
A (scab)bards’ gotta fly.
Fish gotta swim.
I think that sword wasn’t a REAL samurai sword…it looks dirk cheap to me.
*hears Jeopardy theme*
*ponders*
*smoke rises from top of head*
.
…
.
Oh, I know … uh, nope, wait a second …
…
An aluminum baseball bat?
You peeps are on the cutting edge of good humor!
The samurai could probably use a gin and katana-ic.
*snerk*
There is a great disturbance in the force.
I liked the hyperspace jump.
Have them killed
Oh, sorry…wrong thread…
Off with her head!!!
…and by her I meant his.
Dammit Leila I’m a samuria not a Rabbi.
My bad!
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Or did you mean to say “off to her bed?”
I see you are in the gutter today. Scoot over…
*joins Jules in the gutter* How are you today?
Busier than normal at work for this time of year. Once you prove you are competent at doing something it’s amazing how many people begin to dump work on you.
You know what you should say going forward? IDK. Otherwise what you described will go on forever.
I learned that IDK trick albeit a little late but it has helped me tremendously.
Ah, but that directly goes agaist my personality. I am always willing to learn something new and always trying to please. I see a crash and burn in my future.
Don’t get me wrong, learning is one thing but you can definitely tell when someone is dumping their sh*t on you. It’s not fair.
Yeah, it seems like that is all my job is about now a days.
*snork*
*SNORK!!*
*RIGL*
? *RIGL* I don’t know what it is, but it looks like fun!
It’s Zombie’s version of ROFL. RIGL is “Rolling in the ground, laughing”
“RIGL” makes me think of “rigole” which is French for “laugh out loud.”
“ROFL” just makes makes me think of helicopters.
…that go SOI SOI SOI.
Whut?
My roflcopter goes soi soi soi soi!
I don’t even have a roflcopter! Why does everyone else?
I’ll share mine with you
You’re a really kind person!
*squeeze*
And “soi” is French for “self.”
Forget the black helicopters; those self-involved helicopters really give me the heebie-jeebies.
Rolling In Grave Laughing?
thats how I took it.
*hands WIK the award*
*hopes she doesn’t mind the fact that it’s a little dirty*
Thanks! I… is that a worm? ewww.
*whispers* No…that’s ZA’s … um, you know. Give it back to him. *hands WIK a box of shamwows*
… and here, I thought he was wriggling with glee.
Such a sad and embarrassing moment for those immersed in the study of Koryū.
Butter fingers!
.
Mmmm, butterfingers. Gotta go check the vending machine now!
here Ms B, we have some in ours. *vends out Butterfinger* here you go. *squeeze*
Why thank you!
*munch munch munch*
and
*squeeze*
A true Samurai always keeps a firm grip on his sword.
He is a wannabe.
…and he couldn’tbe?
…too much bacon lube.
There’s such a thing as ‘too much bacon lube’?
Depends entirely on the … activity.
There is when you’re wielding a sword!
Depends entirely on what kind of sword and
how you intend to wield it.
*remembers the living doesn’t reproduce by biting*
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I guess there’s an exception to every rule then.
That looks more hack a girly than Hagakure
I don’t think that is a doctor approved way to get thinner.
ha, reminds me of the scen form wishmaster
You have to admit it works though.
Yeah, but there has to be some unforseen side effects. . . exsanguination maybe?
Unforeseen or undesired? I mean you foresaw the possibility of exsanguination, so it’s not really unforeseen now is it?
Well, it was supposed to be sarcasm, but that doesn’t really. . . ah screw it, yours works better.
LOL!
Triple fail:
1. FAILED to cut through curled mat.
2. FAILED to hold onto sword.
3. FAILED to injure anyone with thrown sword.
I might follow this guy around a bit anyway, he seems bent on sending me more bodies.
Could his rotund shape be a fail too? Or are samurais supposed to not be fit?
They were a little more fit than that unless they were a court samurai and didn’t practice the true budo. However samurai were also the size of a large child (5 ft or so) so this seems to indicate massive inconsistancy in this fail.
I don’t judge people by how old, round or soft they are. I judge them by their desire to lob off my head. Or other body parts.
We have got to find you a different diet ZA.
I have the constant worry that we have laid ourselves wide open to zombie attack.
If a zombie was to approach me my thoughts would be it was someone in fancy dress up until the point they bit me, by which point it would be too late.
I think the zombies have won before the war has started.
I agree Moomin….I agree…
*cowers in fear of the impending doom*
*sneaks a squeeze before zombie attacks*
Hi Moomin. Where the hell have you been?
Hello.
*squeeze*
Been breaking my internet and being in trouble at work. Happy days.
*Squeeze*
*squeeze*
Trouble at work? Did you break the copier? That’s all the engineers here seem to be able to do.
No, pretty sure that breaks itself.
Although people do keep walking into it.
Makes sense — and it saves the zombies a great deal of energy. If their prey isn’t fleeing in terror, it’s much easier to catch.
I am intrigued that you know so much about the samurai.
Clearly that block of wood has been practicing disarms. It paid off in spades. Samurai: 0, block of wood: 1.
Bruce Lee fail?
Boards do hit back!
MOOMIN!!! You’re back!
*SQUEEZE*
Moomin’s squeeze back.
*SQUEEZE*
Howdy.
Good to see you buddy. How you doing?
I’ve missed the Moominantics… Good see you again.
*waves*
Good to be back.
*squeeze*
I’m not sure we’ve actually “met,” but I feel the need to squeeze you anyway.
*squeeze*
*extends post-squeeze floofee paw of friendship*
*squeezes*
*shakes paw*
Hello there. Pleasure to be squeezed.
(Love the rainbow coloured cat by the way)
*digs toe in dirt*
*giggles*
Thank you. I’m fond of your avatar as well.
Alone. You weren’t here! Busy days? I hope all is well!
Alone??
*ahem*
*coughs politely*
By saying alone I meant…err… You look fabulous today, Dragon!
*squeeze*
Pffft! Men! Always thinking they can distract us with flattery and squeezes.
…Try a few more, you were almost there.
I lack the proper vocabulary to compliment you as you deserve. But luckily there’s someone who can.
Yeah. Really. Alone, getting stripped naked by several women. Poor Arthur!
It’s a dirty job…
Brewski — why are you complaining — you were next in line but you decide to go pee in flannic instead of waiting you rturn!!
And no — the “you rturn” is not LOLspeak and is not an attempt to look cool/funny – I just can’t type!!
I’m trying to keep my pants on around here, so I don’t get a bad reputation. I appear to be unsuccessful!
Butt!!! you did not lose you pants in the last Fail Pic, youjust had the seat blown off!!
And – I think your “reputation” was improved quite a bit by the view that provided …
Yes, yes, I know, but a moon is a moon…
*squeeze*
*special ankle squeeze*
I repeatedly lose the internet at home and am in permanent trouble at work so will be FBing less.
The days are so going to drag and I’ll miss all you guys.
Why all the bad news today? Will somebody please say something cheery?
The admiral was the last one who had the cheery juice, but I’m sure he’d be happy to make you a drink!
I’m not sure I trust any drink from Admiral… you two are a little too close! How do I know it won’t be spiked with Dragon hallucinogens or something?
OK, I’m sorry, that was mean of me!
I trust you both!!
*gives DW big SMOOCHES and hugs*
Hmmmm…! That’s the second time this week you’ve smooched me. Maybe you really should beware of the Admiral!
Second time?
.
Honestly, I felt really badly after posting that, especially when I saw your
You’ve always been great cheering me up when I felt down, and here you were trying to cheer me up, and I come out with a comment like that.
You’re always tops in my book, Dragon!
*sneaks in one more smooch*
*looks over shoulder*
*darts away before Admiral shows up*
*grabs Brewski before he gets away*
*SQUEEZES Brewski tightly*
*collects some cheery juice*
*tastes…*
Hmm, it’s just a tad too sweet.
Hee! You weren’t quick enough, Brewski!!
Here’s a
to replace my earlier 
. Better?
Admiral!! Er, ah… fancy seeing you here!!
*notices dragon hair on shirt, surreptitiously removes it*
*looks guilty*
So… I hope that means my apology is accepted?
Yay!
*escapes Admiral to leave him alone with DW*
Are dragon hallucinogens bad? I’m thinking they would help the work day seem to pass more quickly…
I’ve taken Dragon intoxicants twice, and I’ve been told I got a bit out of hand. But yet, it certainly did pass the afternoon quickly!
Brewski’s hot stuff!
Cheery enough for you?
Well, it’s worth a big *SQUEEZE*!
I shall purr and cuddle with you and Arthur to make you both happy again! *purrs loudly*
Hey, that’s right! While we are going to be seeing less of some very good friends, we’ve also recently gained some new ones. That helps the sting.
Thanks Taya!
*purrs and cuddles close to Brewski*
That’s bad news for all of us.
I hope things take a sudden turn to the better for you!
maybe his topknot was a little too tight?
A great tachi-dori. Kudos to the tatami mat.
a chicky-licky-bam-bam to you too
You do, you clean it up.
*sneeeeerk*
Me? But…but…BFF is here.
Me? Do I have to?
*sigh*
Oh, alright. This may take a while, though.
*goes off to fetch X-tra large ShamWows*
Kind of ironic that he threw his sword away, seeing how he now needs it to commit seppuku.
This is a win. He saw the ninja behind him pulling his sword out to strike. He made a perfect backward throw to save his own life.
I wish I had said that.
You still can Arthur. Quick! To the time machine!!! Go back to let’s say 10:03 am your time and add your comment.
Sarcasm fail.
I made it! I can bend time and space! Scroll up and you’ll seeit!
Maybe you’ll even see it.
OMG!!! I saw it.
Good work AE!!!! ^5
ARTHUR!!! If you break the STC again, I’m not going to fix it this time!!!
*hangs head*
Sorry Ma’m.
Hi Dragon, what are you doing down below me, there? VVV
*gets all confused*
Why is the time machine necessary? Watch this …
.
This is a win. He saw the ninja behind him pulling his sword out to strike. He made a perfect backward throw to save his own life.
.
See? No time machines involved, no regrets. Mind you, saying that was a little overrated – if that backward throw was so perfect why was the guy still standing there afterward?
It’s just a show…
MST3K ref?
The alarm did go off in the beginning
its from an iPhone. only reason i know that is cuz i have that as my ringtone
Powered by raelalt. Yaay!
YAY!!
I miss raelalt. I hope he and his new bride are being ridiculously happy out there in San Francisco.
??? WTF. I saw this weeks ago. This is just a rip off from a popular YouTuber’s channel in Japan. There is more to this video and multiple angles. Where’s the rest?!
ha
Then go there. We won’t mind, trust me.
Woah. Are you really that retarded, or just acting impressively convincing.
Let’s check!
.
BRAAAAIIIIIINNNSSSSSSS!!!!
.
*tears shithead patrol’s head wide open with his teeth*
*looks for any gray matter, finds none*
*leaves gory mess behind as a warning*
.
Uh, let’s just say “be nice” and leave it at that, OK?
Wow, we seem to have a particularly stubborn one today. I bet this is the “fierce” Cheerleader.
Pfft. You’re just a loser who pretends to be a bird.
Arthur? Did I piss you off somehow?
He’s just a loser who pretends to be a boxer. Don’t mind him.
Whew, you understood!
I’m a loser who pretends to be a fruitcake!
Well, I’m a loser who not only pretends to be a dead boxer but also pretends to be a fantasy hero. Top that!
*dances the biggest loser dance*
I am a loser pretending to be flowers pretending to be a butterfly. Arthur has me beat I think.
What are you guys talking about?? I really AM a dragon!! :p
I got the claw marks to prove it.
Nooooo!!!! Sorry! That was just a joke – a failed joke, obviously. I wanted to mock the troll, because he said ZA was just “pretending to be a zombie”. I found that relatively funny. Sorry again!
Wait – ZA is only pretending? My illusions are shattered. Shattered, I tell you!
Next, you’re going to tell me that Ms B doesn’t actually have a B in her name… or that Dragonwriter is neither a dragon nor a writer.
*runs away, screaming*
Psst! Dragon is a writer.
I don’t know Ms B’s name though.
Psst! Last name does start with a “B”. I’m not a pretending loser! Pretentious…maybe…
I’m a loser who pretends to be Brewski pretending to be Dave Thomas pretending to be Doug McKenzie.
I had no idea everyone here was such a fake.
.
*always implicitly trusted the avatars*
*feels let down and deceived*
I’m a loser pretending to be General BondFan4518 ♂ MP of the 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division, Earl of Huntingdon-on-Thames/BFF News reporter/The Speaker of the House-GASP-pretending to be Big Ben exploding.
I’m a loser pretending to lurk pretending to be the reflection of two hot air balloons.
AW, sorry Mr Apocalypse…
But if it makes you feel better, I really AM a squirrel.
Wait.. or am I a quilt?
*has an identity crisis*
Whew! I was a little worried there. I thought I might have inadvertently angered you at some point!
That or you got hacked.
*squeeze*
Neither.
*squeeze*
ths is aRthuR ELd. i is nOt a trowl imutatng aRthuR!!!11!! Is reely me!!!1
Okay, I’ll confess. That ↑↑ is Arthur Eld. I’m an imitation.
I KNEW IT!!!
*offers everyone ice cream sundaes in the breakroom*
We’re doing quite well though!
Mmmm… ice cream sundaes.
Is there caramel sauce? I love caramel sauce!
Caramel sauce is my favorite! I will provide endless supplies of it!
No cake today?
Sundaes actually sound like a good idea. The ICHC peeps supply the cake & the FB peeps supply the ice cream. We can all share!
What do you know, a delivery truck just pulled up with surplus handmade vanilla ice cream! They needed to get rid of it before it melts!
*sets several gallons out on breakroom table*
*gets leftover home made rootbeer from Monday’s bbq*
Floats anyone?
Yes, please! Yumyumyumyumyummmmmm….
Root beer floats?
*sighs wistfully*
Yes, please!
Wasn’t it the late NHRA Funny Car Driver Eric Medlen who claimed no one could be unhappy while eating ice cream?
.
*checks*
.
Yup. Clickie, SFW. If you trust a zombie that is, if I post the link the moderator will eat it and I’ll have to tear his/her head open again.
.
(Note: you should be able to confirm the link is good by simply mousing over it and checking the URL – how you do that depends on the platform of course.)
NHRA – National Hangover Reduction Agency?
SFW – San Fernando Walley? (Well, I am German…)
Next Higher Recoverable Assembly.
National Hospice Regatta Alliance.
National Heritage Resources Act.
National Hot Rod Association.
.
Gotta love acronymfinder.com.
.
Noone Has Real Antlers.
Not Having Rheumatoid Arthritis.
.
Gotta love being insane. Naw, I still like yours better.
Ooops, missed the second one …
.
Surface Fire Weapon.
So F’n What.
Science Fiction Weekly.
Safe for Work … or … Suitable for Work.
.
More the former, less the latter. SFW!
Oh how cute. The little boy who can’t spell doesn’t have any friends to play with, and thinks that cussing at other people is fun. Some day, he’ll learn the basics of personal hygiene and will find a nice little girl (or boy) to play with.
*would pat the intellectually-challenged boy on the head, but doesn’t want to get her hands greasy*
Hey, apparantly you’re new?
*squeeze*
That is a troll. Just ignore them and comment around them.
*squeeze*
Yup – new here… but I don’t think I actually adressed the poor little thing. I just spoke condescendingly of it in its presence. Too easy, actually.
Shall we adjourn to the breakroom for ice cream sundaes?
FSA, nightshayde is a blog veteran, so she knows the drill.
*flutters her eyelashes at Brewski*
I’ll bring the cool whip
*de-lurks to recite*
Oh pity them, so small and squat,
With comments they’re the worst.
Original they cannot be,
They’re rarely even … um …
close to the beginning?
Wow, when my grade school teachers were saying that curse words were only used by people with limited vocabulaties, I thought they HAD to say that, but seeing this. . . wow.
*chuckles*
I’d use the power of my dead corpse brain to outsmart and overwhelm him, but it would be far to easy. Case in point – I can actually use and SPELL real words!
Quite impressive for a dead guy, I must say. Heck — it would even impressive for a living guy!
If a Zombie tears open a living person’s skull
and finds no brains…
…does it still count as Zombie Reproduction?
*confused*
Only when the victim comes back to haunt the living. Yeah, sometimes you think I’m just tearing up a troll, but in actuality you’re watching me have sex. Feeling better now, pervert?
Everybody’s a critic… .
He took their breath away
A sword in his hand is worth 2 in the bone?
I have tomato pie !!!! I know it’s off topic, but damn is it good!
Tomato pie? I’ve never heard of it.
it is a thick soft pizza dough topped w/ tomato sauce and a powder that has (correct me if i’m wrong) oregano, garlic powder and parmesian cheese. served cold. mmmmmmhm good
I thought that was called “cold pizza”. Silly me.
2 week old pizza in the fridge?
no, it’s completely different. the crust is thich and soft and they don’t cook it in the pizza oven. Just cold tomato sauce. no cheese, and no toppings.
And they say zombies eat weird things.
I’m trying to figure out if that sounds good or not.
(not criticizing your food — just trying to figure it out)
When you said “tomato pie,” I immediately thought of something baked in pie pastry with sliced tomatoes & garlic & oregano & basil & parmesan cheese. I can actually i-m-a-g-ine it & it looks quite tasty in my mind. I may have to do a culinary experiment with it!
I pictured the same thing, only I would have re-named it a tomato tart. And now I’m hungry. Hmmmm.
that does sound good mmmm
ad at beginning of video fail
These fails get more and more boring. *yawn*
Failblog FAIL.
You get more and more boring.
*yawn*
*walks away*
*wonders what language that was*
Pfft. Schools these days. Poor little dears just can’t seem to learn a thing.
Yeah, great. All this time this idiotic comment sat around here on its own and as soon as I decide to say something to that thing, you show up.
GMTA, Arthur.
GMTA?
“Goofy minds think alike”.
I think.
oh, good, for a minute there I thought NS was a member of the Georgia Motor Trucking Association
I like “Goofy Minds Think Alike.” I think it’s usually “Great Minds Think Alike,” but I’m onboard with “goofy.”
My own little twist, there.
*twirls into the thread*
*squeeze*
*spins off again*
Funny, I read it as Good Morning To Arthur. Of course it’s redundant to add Arthur afterward, but people say ABS brakes all the time.
Or ATM machine.
Great Minds Think Alike
Go
Make
Table
Arrangements
Good
Monitors
Try
Aluminum
Go Master The Art.
Green Marshmallows Taste Awful
Greet
My
Tremendous
Awesomeness!
Great Men Trade Apples?
Grand
*filler that starts with M*
Theft
Auto?
Grand/Minor Theft Auto?
The only thing that popped in my mind was
Grand
Mariner
Theft
Assailant.
*guesses Arthur never played GTA, at least successfully*
Grand Major Theft Auto!
Gestalt Minds Terrorise Aliens?
Go
Master
That
Alethiometer
Get
My
Thinking
Appendage
errr *Accessory
Uh, no … appendage worked better for me.
*snuggles against Arthur, purring and squeezes him affectionately*
Wow…Arthur got some pu…
um….
…I mean…nice kitty.
*hissssss* Bad Kitty, BAD KITTY! !
*earflick*
You’re just jealous because Taya isn’t snuggling you!
:p
Was I a bad kitten?
I’m sure Arthur didn’t think so.
I have an affection for cats and butterflys!
Yay! *purrs loudly and kneads gently with her front paws*
@ Taya oooohhhh, I thought you were a little black poodle!
cats are way better. I know mine is!
*purrs at the petting but please don’t call me a pussy…*
LOL!
Schnauze, Lutscher.
Sure, I’ll go get more borin. You wait right here on these tracks.
I say we research this particular specimen of the brainlis trollis family. We may find a cure.
Letchuria swearium?
Hey everyone! I am back from the English exam of doom! WoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOooOOo!
How’d It go FSA?
I think I did pretty well. Hopefully a 90+?
How’s your day going?
Congrats!!!
How’s your day so far, brewski?
Getting lots of FB in, and not enough work in. Pretty average!
I took the English exam of horror, I heard it was WAY harder than the EEOD.
What grade are you in in high school? I want to compare how hard yours was to mine VIA grade.
.
Grade 11 U English.
I’m still a freshman at heart.
So…….. You’re grade 10?
Uhhhh, No.
No butting in please
*hands avis a cookie*
*jostles*
What butting in? Where? Where?
*lowers sunglasses, looking at BFF*
lolz! i remember being in 11 grade English, does that count?
I am back to from the ummmmm washroom!
Slow-motion win.
I just took the human being exam and I passed I think LOL. But those guys with the big heads and eyes the size of saucer plates scared me.
That’s because they failed.
*makes a FB pic for submitting of them failing*
I don’t mean to be rude, but it sounds like you’ve been abducted by aliens in that last sentence.
Exactly … he was abducted by aliens and given an exam!!!
*wonders if they bought him dinner first*
*wonders if anyone used protection*
*wonders if they called afterwards*
potato?
*forget dinner, wonders if they asked permission first*
I wonder how that would go — *Ahem, excuse us there Mr. Human — but wold you object to us sucking youup into our space ship and giving you an exam … no, no need to study, just relax, very good, now – turn your head and cough …”
Squids?
*snerk*
Epic comment win! *Gives AE a medal*
What is a squids?
Click my name.
OMG giant penis!
It’s not a giant penis, you cretinous buffoon. Why don’t you play your childish games elswhere?
Did you ever notice that as soon as you open your mouth and start talking you hear an idiot speaking?
dat is defo a giant knob. no liez bruv.
but one must ask…did the skank died??
ahh, Monsieur Fox, he did indeed find death
The most high gentlemen, Mr. Fox and Mr. Tourbillon – correct on both counts, the evidence is incontrovertible. The kitana wielding imbecile goes the way of all flesh. He did died.
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
I am schizophrenic,
and so am I.
And so am I, apparently.
A schizophrenic is a schizophrenic is a schizophrenic.
…
NO HE IS NOT SODDING DEAD. WHY CAN’T YOU PEOPLE TAKE A HINT?!
*foams at the mouth*
*collapses*
GBF!!!!!!! noooooooooooo. Is he dead?
No, I’m not dead. I’m just so enraged by these nincompoops that I had a fit.
How can we be sure that you are not dead?
Is he dead?
Nincompoops is a Ojibwa word. Ninni means man Kaawinpp means useless. The word has evolved to nincompoops.
Really?! You learn something new everyday. I had no idea the word had its origins in Native American languages. Interesting!
10% of the English language in Canada is and has been taken from words the the First Nations and Six nation, Cree.
Will the foam make it easier to suck me off?
*sucks off tf*
*lick lips*
That was simply divine
“please put it in my bum now, no lube. Be rough thats how I like it big boy”
Lol, thats sum funi shit rite thier man. HA. wurd bruv.
*snork!*
Did he die? What a thoughtless, stupid question to ask. Are you really that pathetic that you have to ask a question that demonstrates your lack of any maturity. Did he die? Seriously? Is that what people think is cute, funny or trendy? Sad. Really sad. I have no idea why this is even appreciated. Did he die? Freaking losers.
*high five*
Monsier Malicite:
I merely ask what the masses are all interested in knowing, but have little courage to ask themselves.
I hear prune juice works wonders for your obvious ailment. Good luck
TF
Oh really? What you did looked remarkably like trolling.
Monsier Eld, please explain to a non-Americanized Frenchman – what is mean “trolling”?
Is it similar to “dicking around”? If so, then I comprehend.
If you’re really a Frenchman, please explain why you can’t spell “monsieur” right.
The missing key is stick. did you not collapse?
You know…I can almost get the people that come in here trying to get a rise out of people. But, to ask “did he die?” doesn’t add anything. I’m going to return to ignoring all of you feckless idiots tomorrow, but, for the moment, what’s the deal? Why is this amusing? You’ve wasted a lot of time here, so at least have the audacity to humo(u)r me.
did he die?
Mal, I think that’s what makes the idiots say that. They wish to get us angry and get responses. To answer the obvious question: I have no idea why.
Ahh the obvious question. I know this one.
It was:
Why is your penis so small and useless?
I almost miss the ones that called me gay. I get that. This is just stupid and I won’t waste my time with it after today.
*squeeze*
Malicite! I didn’t know that!! That’s awesome!
Cm’ere, you big cutey!!
*showers Mal with kisses*
Oh you! *blushes*
*waves gayly to everyone*
What is AE’s obvious ailment? Because, honey, it ain’t so obvious to me and I’ve known him a lot longer than you. If that was supposed to be some kind of insult, you delivered it with all the skill and precision of a one legged donkey at badminton.
(That was aimed at me, I think.)
DID HE DIE?
My question stands with Malicite in place of AE.
I love the image. go donkey, get that birdie!
why is this awating moderation?
You are not allowed form a sentence with i m a g in it anywhere!
Because you violated the moderator’s rules. You can’t use profane words like eye-em-ay-gee-eee or ef-you-sea-kay because they are shitty phuqin words.
LMAO Mal. I don’t think they got it.
Oh did he die?
1)But one must ask…did the skank die??
2)Ahh, Monsieur Fox, he did indeed find death.
3)The most high gentlemen; Mr.Fox and Mr.Tourbillon – correct on both counts. The evidence is incontrovertible. The katana-wielding imbecile goes the way of all flesh. He did die.
4)Toulouse Fox could not have been correct as he asked a question.
5)Toulouse Fox and Tintin Tourbillon could not have been correct on both counts as they only made one point between them
-
I hope this was instructive for you, have a nice day!
i like your style
*considers why you would vomit that up*
*realizes it was just to foul for you to keep it inside*
No one else saw the ninja hit it out of his hands? It wasn’t the samurai’s fault.
That’s the power of the ninja…
*high fives ninja* where has he been?
So that’s what it looks like when you headdesk…
No, that’s what it looks like when you try to type in a strait jacket.
*laughs*
*Cries*
Everyone’s taking this far too seriously.
But in all seriousness, kitanas are not toys. Someone could have gotten hurt. That’s why you apply glue to the handle.
You didn’t listen!
katana! Kitana is from Mortal Kombat!
Flawless Victory.
Finish him!
Toastyyyy!
i’m sorry for offending you. i didn’t know people with your calibre of english posted on sites showcasing photos and videos of imbeciles doing things retards wouldn’t entertain.
i didn’t know they still taught kids how to spell the names of obsolete Japanese weaponry in high school.
Actually “katana” is Japanese for sword. Also I never attended high school. Plus my English isn’t that great, I’d say it’s reasonably good.
(PS When you are referring to yourself, you should capitalise your I’s!)
Right. Because posters on sites about ppl getting ‘pwned’ are really interested in capitalization and proper spelling.
Your wit is a bit lacking. You quip that you never attended high school, which you matched by changing your name to replace (finished her exams) with ‘the calf’.
Quite clever. You should step up someplace else, where you can better show off your intellect. But then your queer avatar pic betrays you.
Everyone should be interested in capitalisation and proper spelling as it’s easy to slip into bad habits.
I don’t quite understand you; I honestly haven’t attended high school, nor will I ever. And if you are as smart as you seem to think you are, perhaps you’ll work out why. My sister happened to be going through exams and so I pretended the make believe calf Patrica was too, it was just a long running joke, nothing more.
Why is my avatar ‘queer’. I would hear your opinion on this and hear you very well I say thank you.
g&p, you porker lesbian dyke. stay off the hormone meds, they screw with you reeeeeeeeaaaaaal bad
I prefer portly!
As for the lesbian dyke; how would you even know? 
And, while I’ve never taken hormone medication, thank you for the advice, I assume you’re speaking from personal experience?
was that an insult?
nice try, that really hurt, i’ll go cry in the corner now
I assumed you were insulting me actually, I merely returned it to you.
Did the sword die?
“Hey! Cut it out!”
Happened at Tagata Jinja at the Honen Matsuri this year. Other than failing at swords it is mostly famous for penis.
Famous for penis? What?
*goes there*
I was hoping this would be a clip from “The Last Samurai.” You know, starring Tom Cruise… the whitest guy you know.
This appears to be a fail from the beginning, as its kendo based iaido stripped of any kenjitsu roots. His grip was slightly to the side instead of the tang being wedged in the V of the hand.
classic kendo idealology fail
What did he call me?
Wow…..nice one bro.
The video ends way too early, I want to see the guy commit seppuku…
So that’s what happens when you by a katana from the discount bin! I’d always wanted a visual representation!
GET OUT MAH WAY!!!!!
It’s a video from the youtuber thatjapanesegirl.
heres the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNtDZ0sStEU
and this fail from another perspective by gimmebreakman
He racks disciprine!
imagine what he could do with a wii remote
now he has to kill him self for evry seccond that it was in the air
jeez… he hit the target way too high. he should have cleaved into the center of it. he wasn’t positioned so that the center of the blade would strike the center of the target, extending the arm as the blade enters so that it is actually slicing down a length of the blade.
also, it’s not a block of wood. it’s a bamboo branch wrapped in layers of straw mat. the branch is to simulate bone while the mat is meant to simulate flesh. if you can cut through one of these, you can cut through a average to well muscled limb.
Kenshin Fail