Editor’s Note: This video was created prior to us winning the Webbys. All videos added as of April 29 do not include the intro, as promised.
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Cheezburger Company Blog
durrrrrrrrrrrr
foist
moist
wet
pet
dog
k9
f8
destiny
gay
brokeback mountain
Whoahh…. lost my train of thought
Holy shitburgers, is he dead?
Is that a new McDonalds menu item?
That was always a McDonalds menu item.
U EAT IT U DIE
*eats*
*watches the slow painful death*
*joins*
As a matter of fact, all meat products are practically made of shit. Look it up.
As a matter of shit, all fact products are practically made of meat. Up it look.
As a matter of meat, all shit products are practically made of facts.
Up it look.
As a matter of product, all shit meats are factually made of practical.
It Up look.
As a practical of matter, all shit facts are products made of meat.
Up, look it.
Best comment streak ever.
As a fact of shit, all meat is practically made of matter. Look up it.
As a product of matter, all shit products are flatulantly made up of meat.
Look it down.
As a matter of practicality, all shits are made up of meat.
Flush it down.
Glad I didnt give up on reading comments after going through all the shit. This streak makes it all worth it.
You realize that you essentially also are a “meat product”, do you?
Well, at least your statement is true for *you*.
Its the circle of shit. Mr.Hankey taught me that.
the christmas poo?
Yeah, the new ShitMac. Kind of reveals what it’s made of, no?
Macs?
shit dumbass, shit.
So in other words, Macs?
No shit
wered u get ur name? grand theft auto?
wer hath yu goten yer spellink
*claws from grave*
*sneaks up behind PXA*
*grabs skull … pauses …*
*rattles head a little*
*lets go, wanders off screaming …*
.
BRAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSS!!!!
Zombie, you could work your way through most the people in that thread, and still go hungry.
I will tell your parents, that he found it nice, that you queued yourself up behind them, so he at least had a rich dessert.
Brewski, you could thread that fact through most the shit in Hungary and still go zombie.
no, my brother goes to the same school as him and he survived, sadly,
train
dining car
lunch
sandwich
salami
deli
wal-mart
check-out
candy
chocolate
cookies
mmmm… cookies…
♪ We didn’t start the fire…
♪ IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING
SINCE THE WORLD’S BEEN TURNING!♪
.
… *ahem* I’m sorry. Kneejerk reaction.
???
?????????????
??????????????????????????????
!
Snake? Snake!?
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
Badgerbadgerbadgerbadger…
MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!
+++ Melon Melon +++
+++ Out of Cheese Error +++
blasted earworm.
you really are a (knee)jerk.
Was that earworm a WHOLE NEW WORLD?
You’re going to be a lad(d)in a lot of trouble if you continue with the earworms.
♪ i’m a fire starter ♪
He was hot footing it out of there!
pot
dough
bread
toast
toasted
weed
pot……………
something not rite……………………………TOAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!
Are you talking about a dog or a dog’s something else?!?!?!
BING!
BADA BOOM!
ba-dump-bump-psssh
was he ok?
quote Emperor: “She was assisting you, he was telling you to lighten up. You seem to be the only one responding with emotion. Just lighten up a bit, people get made fun of here, speaking from experience. Take it with a grain of salt as that is how this place operates. If you want to put in the effort to stay around here longer you will know more of the on goings and avoid situations like these.”
Does the grain of salt include having me banned and all my posts removed?
let’s add a
behind that to make it more friendly so that maybe, just maybe, i won’t get banned this time!
DOT ORG!!!
ASM
And powered by MRN!
.
*confetti*
I haven’t seen MRN around in a while though.
*Grabs confetti and throws it in the air*
Now who is going to clean this mess?
The trolls can clean it up.
I just try to get confettin in colors that match the decor, that way we can just leave it.
*shoots out extra n with blow gun*
*is deeply impressed by Ms B’s ability*
And thus the daily 10:00am meeting makes it impossible for me to get my line in.
I vomited a little in my mouth, when I heard that again.
How old is this guy who says it? 13? ^^
Ah, dot org.
asm.
A smashing miracle?
Or a blazing failure?
D’oh. *facepalm*
Nesting fail big time.
Aiki, it looks like your domain is down… What gives?
Is it!!!? OOPS!!! My apologies. wrong address as my clicky. Try this one.
MUCH better, thanks! I wanted to look at “Where are we.”
Are you still master of your domain?
That doesn’t make u cool. That was lame.
I am so very deeply really truly honestly stupidly sorry, but I didn’t do it to look cool.
Why don’t you send us a list with things you deem cool and things you deem lame?
So each one can take a shit on it so as to show what he thinks of you?
I don’t think I’d bother to read said list.
Read carefully. I provide a better usage of it.
I’ve got one even better. The composer Brahms responded to a review of his latest symphony: “Dear sir: I am seated in the smallest room in my house. I have your review in front of me and very soon it will be behind me.”
LOL. This is the first time on this BLAG, that I really laughed out loud. XD
This quote gets into my collection.
one has to wonder, if you truly think this is a BLAG why you continue to ome back?
Isn’t a BLAG an armed robbery?
And, that being so, wouldn’t there be a more sensible modus operandi for a blagger than hitting a fire with a golf club?
Would that be a tarot-list?
List of some things I deem cool:
Star Wars
Algebra
Cello Music
JasonK
The Matrix
Pssst… you forgot failblog and ICHC!
Failblog is not cool – we always have fires and therefore are HOT
But of course … ! How could I forget the two hippest spots in cyberspace?
“Tarotist”
*roffle*
I actually didn’t realise that’s what she said until you mentioned it.
Glad I could be of assistance. 8)
Armenian Society of Mammalogists ?
Are you calling another special meeting of the always secretive mammal-fanciers?
Another sleazy mammogram?
Fire Fire Fire
*Press 3333 runs around shouting*
Hey! That’s my line!
*runs around screaming then sprints out of room*
Evacuation Plan: Run and run as fast as you can!
you forgot the KEY word > AWAY! “Run and run AWAY as fast as you can!” {otherwise some fool will run towards the trouble}
*panics*
*runs for the door*
*Notices door says “This is Not a Door”*
Help!
*posts 5 different exit signs*
That way!
Wanna try this instead?
*pulls out hole from trunk*
It was a life saver yesterday.
Oh oh, is this like the holes that Wile E Coyote would paint on brick walls? Then the roadrunner would run right through it?
╔══╗
║EXIT║
╚══╝
I believe she is referring to the Acme portable hole. The coyote would paint false vistas on walls only to have the roadrunner run right into the scene.
What? No. This was my invention…
I miss that cartoon.
* ZZOOOOMMMM!! *
*instantly pecks up pile of birdseed under 1,000-ton weight*
MEEP MEEP!!
* ZZOOOOMMMM!! *
“When I grow up, I’m gonna be a roadrunner. BeepbeepzipBANG!”
I believe the said coyote was using photoshop.
Did you check the pixels?
Funny little people with green hats?
*looks confused*
Um, yeah.
*turns and walks into wall*
Heh, heh! IUL fell for my fake door. Now to escape through this window…
*crashes into brick wall*
Ow!
Poor elephant!
or simply run round in circles …
*yells after BFF*
Sorry, didn’t mean to take your limelight.
Here. Have some lemonade instead.
Oh! Yum!
*Pours a modest glass, sets glass on table, takes pitcher and starts drinking it all*
What, no martial arts exhibition?
The way I am going today, I think I would likely fall flat on my face.
You should cit r us down on this chair for a moment then and get centered.
Limes make light? Do lemons?
No silly…Lemons make puckers!
Not to be confused with the puking trolls infesting FB.
you really are obsessed with Trolls aren’t you?
Yes, but the light appears sodium that you can’t see anything by it.
Rush-rush-rush. Into the limelight (clicky)
*looks panicked*
*realizes it’s just Aiki again*
*resists urge to dive underground*
*notices there is no fire*
*still looks nervous*
This fail isn’t going to work for you is it ZA?
*tries to remain calm …*
*watches video again*
*gives up*
*dives into grave in a panic*
*buries self 18 feet underground to feel safe again*
gtg brb lol phone ringing
oh, god, why would you smash it with a bat?
The same reason you would light a pot/gourd/vase full of gasoline on fire.
Stupidity?
I have a feeling that it goes deeper than sheer stupidity.
And usually starts with the sentence, “Hey everybody! Watch this!”
The teenage years are a right of passage for boys. Upon survival they will welcome into human society.
At age thirty or so?
Are boys under 12 shunned?
Shun the unbeliever! Shuunn! Shuuuunnnnn!
(clicky!)
How do you people find this stuff? Still, it’s no grilled cheese sandwich.
I prefer the big rock candy mountain myself-mainly b/c that’s where they hung the jerk that invented work.
*stay away from those cig trees*
I thought you didn’t like grilled chees sandwiches.
*kicks an “e” up to “cheese“
How could any one not like grille cheese sandwiches? I bet his mother made them all the time for him when he was little.
I don’t know. As soon as one was mentioned, I had a craving for them!
Jules, did you read the my clickie from yesterday? The one about grilled cheese sandwiches?
No, why? What harm could grille cheese sandwiches do?
Let’s just say that for the grilled cheese sandwich that Avis is talking about…you wouldn’t want to get one from your mother.
Go find it. Trust me. You can find it the previous fail under comment number 473567. It is completely work safe.
If you are being sarcastic, :p
*GASP! and LOL!*
My mother sent me that link!!
*has sudden craving for a grilled cheese sandwich*
*you decide which meaning*
*snorkroffle*
Avis is the cook around here.
I looked up ‘grille cheese sandwich’ in the urban dictionary… FYI don’t do that.
I am not sure which meaning you used in context, but I see how previous comments look bad.
.
*washes hands*
I am done with this thread.
*walks away*
Gives “cheesy grin” a whooooooole new meaning….
Everybody say “cheese!”
I don’t, but a warm bowl of soup is always welcome!
Jules, NO! No, that is not the same thing! My meaning comes from an entirely different place! Really, if you look up the clickie (in the previous fail) you’ll see.
Yeah!!! FTW!!!
The original, you fool. I’m sorry, that’s mean. What I should have said is “the original, you misinformed person who sees Youtube as the source of everything”. Oh, don’t forget to click.
She did go to Youtube to post the video but it does say “Charlie Goes To Candy Mountain Made by TypeQueen of NewGrounds and SecretAgentBob on Youtube. ”
She didn’t steal it, or do anything wrong at all actually so please don’t be mean. It sounds like your real beef is with Youtube, and you may be able to get support from some of the people here – but you should be friendly First.
*can’t believe I used the f-word*
ride of passage?
look at what my cousin and I are doing …. (you know my cousin, his mom is my mom’s sister and his dad is her brother … )
Or “Hold my beer and watch this…!”
or “Lets make a video for youtube!”
I was going to say, “testosterone”. Now c’mon, ‘fess up…how many of the men here have NEVER set something on fire?? Even my dad, who is one of the most brilliant men I’ve ever known, once set his front porch ablaze.
In my first year at university, a bunch of people insisted on putting aerosol Axe cans in a bucket and lighting them on fire. They wanted to make bombs.
I’m guessing they succeeded? What did they end up damaging?
They succeeded, and set some bushes on fire. Luckily it was winter.
Yeah, the adolescent stuff doesn’t quite match up to when they get into the university.
One of my high school buddies went to Purdue (them again). He got to play with the cyclotron. I asked what they bombarded. He said, “Whatever. Tootsie Rolls, Twinkies, Peeps, a banana, a grasshopper – whatever!”
AAK! What happened to them?
Turned black and shriveled up.
Poor poor…tootsie rolls.
(You thought I was going to say grasshoppers, didn’t you!)
A coworker set a magnesium VW engine block on fire (on the beach). It could be seen from miles away. If you don’t know how hot and bright a magnesium fire is, search for it on youtube.
All my fires have been intentional and controlled.
*fingers crossed*
um…… I used to set stuff on fire all the time.
*checks for Y chromosome*
NOPE, all grrl here!
Fireworks. ‘Nuff said.
I love the Chinese firecrackers. That or taking an empty small CO2 cartridge, filling it with pyrodex and magnesium shavings and burying it about half way in the dirt.
ever tried lighting the fake easter grass on fire?
hint: be ready to jump well back
Does that ignite by itself?
There used to be a video online of some Purdue engineering students dumping a couple gallons of liquid oxygen on a BBQ loaded with briquets and a lit cigarette. This was a contest to see who could light a BBQ the fastest. Needless to say, they won. The BBQ was reduced to a molten puddle.
I saw that one!!
Engineering geek pyromaniacs. Gotta love it.
All your fire are belong to us.
I made homemade rockets out of popsicle sticks and other flammable household objects. It was important to run over to the crash site to put out the grass fire before it got too large.
*SNORK!!!*
I’m not at all surprised.
*smoooOOOooooch*
I worked with duct tape an an early age.
Does the duct tape hold your fingers on?
We discovered that when you stack cinder blocks and drop a cherry bomb down the most square hole, the smoke ring produced was still round. That is probably the biggest shortage for todays youth, cherry bombs.
Nice to see young scientists being hands-on.
hehehe. nice avatar judson!
I watched a show that highlighted Disney im a gi neers that got to put together and test explosions for a living. I was jealous.
sounds awesome! I always wanted to become a pyrotechnitian.
You can light my fire anytime!
ooooh, baby
*waddles in and replaces t with c in pyrothchnitian* i looked on dictionary.com!!
HMMM, I lit a lot, rather, A LOT of things on fire as a kid, but never thought to smash a pot of flaming liquid all over myself. thay should have just made a molitove(sp.?)
(molotov) But then the couldn’t smash it with the bat.
*tosses a ‘y’ up*
*begins series of pre-emptive Heimlich Maneuvers, just incase the ‘y’ gets caught on the way up*
Okay Aiki, that was wrong. Sorry. I didn’t enjoy it either. Just missin’ the Moomin, I guess! O.o
Aww… and I was enjoying it so much.
if it was like one that the Russians used in WWII it would work.
A Revel plastic battleship model, carefully constructed but with top sides not yet glued to hull. Hull filled with Styrofoam shards. A cherry bomb with the fuse carefully threaded up into one of my dads Pall Malls and the Pall Mall stuffed up through the smokestack so it could be ignited. Final assembly. Several friends gathered at the nearby creek. Pour gasoline onto the styrofoam through the hatch, close hatch, light the Pall Mall and set the battleship afloat. A Pall Mall will burn for about seven minutes before it gets to the fuse of the cherry bomb, providing ample time for gas, plastic model, and Styrofoam to melt into napalm, and for a half dozen sixth grade boys to go nuts with anticipation. There was always one who gave up early and made loud claims of ‘DUD!’. Then the cherry bomb would blow, igniting the napalm and another great warship would burn furiously before sinking into the murky depths. Life was good.
My dad used to build stuff in the basement with his radial arm saw, so there was always a pile of sawdust around. One time my brother called me into the basement. He’d gathered a tin can full of really fine dust (pine!). He held the can high up and gently poured out the dust. At the same time he held a lit match way down low. The tip of the cloud of sawdust hit the match and we had a flash fire!
It burned so fast and hot there wasn’t even any smoke. We got scared and ran out of there. Never did tell the parents about that little venture.
When I was a child I had a doll-house. A cheap balsa wood thing. Upon getting a nice sturdy new doll-house, my father and I took the old one to the back patio, doused it in lighter fluid and set it afire. I also made little paper people to put in the windows like they were trying to escape. Yeah, I was a bit twisted even then.
I like you more and more as time goes on.
We should have dated. Most of the other women I went with though that sort thing was sophomoric or worse. I’m free Thursday.
You were in sixth grade!! What you were supposed to be contemplating the meaning of life reading Tolstoy?
*tosses an “and” up there after “reading”*
Still are LOL kidding.
I set my lincon logs on fire, then the toy box caught, then the carpet, they part of my bed…..bad day at the B2F house…that was 27 years ago and my butt still hurts.
Wow.
*spanks B2th once more cause sounds like he really did a naughty*
Yeah, I was the little pyro from hell. Shit just wasn’t cool unless it was on fire.
The bigger question is how many of the men here haven’t managed to set themsleves on fire…?
Brain Damage. Affliction of many young teens in America.
Due to the lack of “Critical Thinking Skills” being taught to today’s youth, their frontal lobes are not maturing and connecting to the rest of their brains until their mid-20′s (maybe) and acting as a needed critical/logical brake to moderate any inappropriate thoughts. Thus the rash of “HEY! Watch THIS!” Videos and News Reports we see.
Lack of a “functioning” Frontal Lobe. (the part of the brain that should be asking, “Is actually this a really good idea?”)
Unfortunately, I recently set my grill on fire. (no…seriously)
My awesome roommates didn’t clean up after themselves, and the grease trap and storage area next to the gas tank ignited. The temperature of the grill, by the end, was over 700 degrees F.
Oh, it was on low.
Had someone not informed me of the impending doom, I would never have gotten to the gas tank in time, and we’d be having a different story.
Fire freaking sucks.
*once set a steak on fire*
In an electric oven.
It was doused liberally in wine, so it wasn’t entirely my fault.
Steak flambe! Very French of you!
I didn’t do it intentionally. And I was cooking for my mother and one of her co-workers.
The upside is the steak was not reduced to charcoal, and was perfectly cooked!
I sound as though the steak was not the only thing doused with wine.
^”It”
Haha. Once I put some christmas lights in the microwave. They light up then light on fire. >_>. It was totaly worth it.
And who doused it in wine?
This clicky should interest you assuming it works avis. I know I appreciated it.
very interesting. although, i did only read the first two sentences… wat?? i have a short atteertyuiop a cookie!!!
*snork*
I did, of course! I actually wasn’t drinking all that much, in fact I was cheating at the Atkin’s Diet and had a glass or two. I wasn’t supposed to have any at all! Unless of course it was in the food, and the alcohol had cooked off.
Ah the atkins diet. How did that work for you?
About as well as could be expected. I initially lost about 15 pounds, but since it was basically water weight….
Also the lack of carbs thing is not good for your mental capacity. I felt a bit spacey quite a bit. Then I would go eat a slice of bread and feel much better!
I’m going with good old fashioned exercise these days.
Figured as much. Welcome back to nature Avis. This clicky has a few words for the Atkins diet, some I agree with some I don’t, obnoxious and definitely not work safe, but that makes it more fun sometimes, no?
omg almost first!!
Go light your balls on fire!
What if it ends the same way the above one did?
It won’t. Jarich will use napalm instead.
Or better yet, dip your balls in it!
Louie reference FTW!
.
what does FTW mean ?????
It’s an abbreviation of “For The Win”, an Internet-slang term signifying something’s fantastic.
Fail The World!
Find The Worm!
Flip The Wookie!
Flammable Thing Win!
It’s the reverse of “WTF?”, for when someone makes an unusual sexual request. “You want me to FTW?”
I say it in my head ‘F the whaaaat’ somewhat like Joe dirt.
For
The
Win.
.
But starfish may tell you otherwise.
@starfish, FTW means For The Win!!! lol *wipes tears of laughter from eyes*
*wipes tears (not of laughter) from eyes*
Don’t cry, Starfish.
*offers Starfish a cookie*
Why are you crying, starfish? Don’t you remember the ‘no reply day’ with all of the FTW craziness? I know you had fun. You were the belle of the ball that day!!
I did enjoy that day. I’m just hamming for some free cookies with my crocodile tears.
*gives starfish some ham*
*steals cookies*
*gobbles cookie* Thanks IUL.
It’s ok abstract, I was just playing. Somebody call whine one one. I need a wambulance.
Should we dial 1-800-wah-wahh?
I think we need to give him some cheese and crackers with that whine.
*eyes Starfish*
Ok, but I’m not giving him grilled cheese sandwiches.
We’ll leave that to the Mrs!
That’s some fine tear wiping.
oh, I wasn’t making fun of you, i was laughing about the day we all kept saying it over and over it was funny
This is what happens during summer vacation. We really need to look into year-round school!
I agree. Japan does it and the kids there are much better educated.
Yes, but at what cost?
I’ve been preaching it for years, toots!
.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Of course, had it been instituted when I was a child I’d have screamed bloody murder!
Although I do think I’d get over it eventually.
Aw don’t say that. It’s always a handful of stupid kids that ruin things for the rest of them.
I disagree, it’s the smart kids who ruin things. The stupid ones do what they’re told and follow rules and are afraid to try something new.
I like the way you think!
There’s also the difference between intelligence and wisdom.
Smart but not wise … Richard Nixon.
Wise but not smart … Edith Bunker.
And Archie Bunker loved them both.
I think I should point out that I’d like to hang out with people who at least attempt to be both wise and smart. Which is one reason I like this place so much!
Woohoo! I’s being smart!
*drinks from hat with dual built-in beer holders*
*watches America’s Top Model*
Wise-ass.
Smarty pants.
Oh, a wise guy, eh??
Girl genius.
Lead actor in “The Taming of the Shrewd”.
Acute professor.
One-and-a-half-wit.
Novel thinker.
Fine young canny-bal.
Better than a dumb-ass!
That would be my spouse’s title. The idiot just signed a contract WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST for Orkin to spray our house for the low price of $1,700.00.
Wow. That must be some big bug you have there.
*faints*
*riffles through LCB’s shiny bag with the dollar sign on it while she’s unconscious*
*unfaints*
*activates exploding dye packets*
*re-faints*
*decides not to remind LCB that dye doesn’t stick to dragons*
*finishes riffling and wanders away, putting rings back on fingers*
It’s true, the heat prevents it from doing so.
*nods sagely*
*unfaints*
Hey! Where did all the rings go?
*Looks in bag, gets covered in exploding dye*
Curses! Soiled again.
*wanders in*
Oo! Um…LCB, that’s an…interesting…look for you. Purple spots will soon be all the rage!
I think there’s more of a parabolic curve, where “genius” and “idiotic” are both at higher risk of ruining things, with average kids in the middle. They know better than the dumb ones, but aren’t as brave as the smart ones.
You are wise beyond your years.
Much better than flies between your ears.
HEY!
*takes offense*
Well, those maggots are charming though…
so true, so true! My parents told me that when I was in elem. school I used to get in trouble all the time for wandring the halls. Aparently (as I really can’t recall) I would ask to use the bathroom, and spend hours just wandering because I was bored in class. It was a Christian school on the Berkshire mountains w/ multiple grades in a single room. I also got in trouble for doing the older kids work instead of mine. Ah, to be young and ahead of the curve…..
damn, I lost my train of thought, those were two different schools. the Berkshire mountain one was up to the 1st half of second grade. The wandering the hall one was in the 2nd half of 2nd grade.
Choo choo
I found it!
*offers abstract her train back*
I think you found mine but you gave it to abstract.
Ahahaha! It’s all because you stole my potato!
-
Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it was yours.
Tsk. Such a big fuss over such a little *FOOOM!*
They were out of their gourd.
His mistake was trying to squash the flames with his feet.
Come on, pumpkin! What’s the fun in doing it safely?
You are in-courgette-able.
If you aren’t safe, you’ll end up with eggplant on your face.
C’mon, pepo…! You can find more puns than this!
That guy had the marrowest of escapes…
So you butternut follow his example.
I thought of a pun, but it’s acorny one.
And I had another idea, but it’s not fully baked, so I decided to let it summer on the back burner a while.
I luffa good pun-run, don’t you?
I do! Just so long as no one tries to kuri favor, though.
Whatever you say, buttercup.
Ex-cousa me Dragon, but I am not very good with my squash family.
Yeah but it was HOT!
I expected one of your FOOOOOM‘s to be the power.
Hee…! That would have been funny.
Would have definitely fit the video!
Damn Skippy it would!
But I thought you liked me!?
*hands Skippy a hand-basket*
You’ll need this.
Is Skippy taking the highway?
*takes basket*
*starts skipping while humming*
♫ I’m off for a picnic. With a basket that’s on fire. ♪
Wai… what!?
Watch out for the bats!
*POUNCES, drops, and rolls*
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*heats things up*
I expect if it was one of your *FOOOMS* that the kid wouldn’t have survived or if he had he wouldn’t need to shave or have a hair cut ever again.
So now we have a reference for the sound a FOOM makes. You just have to !mag!ne it louder.
damnit I saw no comments and thought oh damn! but oh well lol I wonder if that guy was okay…
lazy camera guy !
I wanna see what happened
Please God, let him be sterile…Pleeeease?
He died!
Great Balls of Fire!!!
GBF?
Grevious Bodily Fooming?
*nudges wandering ‘i’ to the left a little*
Generic Blonde Female?
General BondFan?
Giant Bingo Fever?
Great Blog of Fail, of course.
You win.
quit touching my eye – you are DrB, not an IDr.
unfortunately, he didn’t have Great Balls of Steel.
why are his ‘friends’ laughing rather than helping, or atleast sounding worried?
They are all intellectually challenged.
Some people just deserve to burn
See answer to earlier question.
Because that’s what you do when your dumbass friend hits an inflamed gourd with a bat.
The gourd is inflamed?
*gives anti-inflammatories to gourd*
Anyone want to cuddle and squeeze the kitten?
Well. And now, for something completely different.
Okay!
*cuddles and squeezes Taya*
Yay *purrs* *squeezes back*
Click, learn. You’re welcome.
Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!
*sets gj’s ball on fire*
Goose you big stud, take me to b- … wait. Sorry, I think I got the wrong movie. Music associations do that to me sometimes
C’mon baby light my fire! ♫
♪ It’s gettin’ hot in here! ♫
♪ Disco Inferno ♪
♪ No serenade, no fire brigade, just pyromania!♫
What do ya want? What do ya want?
.
I want rock n roll! Yes I do.
.
Long live rock n roll.
♫Oh let’s go, let’s strike a light
We’re gonna blow like dynamite
I don’t care if it takes all night
Gonna set this town alive, come on♪
So take off all your clothes….
Sorry, Couldn’t resist, carry on…
*Shows b2th photos of Ms B from yesterday*
And this one is where she is chasing aiki around the pool…
*eyes pop out of head* *faints*
That bad huh?
Well, seeing how I’ve never met you and currently don’t own any pictures of you and it’s impossible for me to imagine an unattractive woman chasing someone around a pool, I’m going to have to saaaaaaay……..No, not so much.
Your comment is awaiting moderation. , well, that’s a first.
I think those moderators can just go and
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Stupid Your comment is awaiting moderation., they can go Your comment is awaiting moderation. and Your comment is awaiting moderation.. If they pull this Your comment is awaiting moderation. one more time, I’m going to Your comment is awaiting moderation. their Your comment is awaiting moderation. heads and Your comment is awaiting moderation. down their neck.
Awesome
GAH!! My virgin ears!!!!! I can’t believe what I am hearing from you young man!!!
*washes B2F’s mouth with soap*
we’re STILL waiting for a bunch of “your comment is awaiting moderation” comments to come out of moderation on the Formula LOL race at LOLcats yesterday. we’re missing a troll booth, the lyrics to Danger Mouse, tidmum’s story about how she took out a whole row of gas pumps with her car, and poor malicite got moderated right out of existence.
and my story is STILL being moderated.
I never swore. Honest
Compared to what DOES get through, I’ve gotta wonder what must get filtered! Hint: don’t include complete web addresses.
It’s wasn’t bad at all, don’t know really maybe I hit the lucky number of posts for the day.
*It wasn’t
^ Yeay me!
It was the i-bomb that got you moderated. (i m a g i n e)
??
For some reason you can no longer say any word that starts with i, m, a, g.
Ahhhhhh, I get it.
But I liked it.
I thought it was stupendous!!
*smooch*
There was something wrong with my diet coke. I was determined to remain clothed!
I know, and I just wanted relief from a muscle-tension headache when I “borrowed” dw’s pills. It’s a conspiracy! We better watch each other’s backs.
)
(just like I did yesterday with the vid camera, hee hee
Hee…! You can watch my back anytime. It’s in my avatar.
Yeppers. I think you once shared pics of the whole thing? How much of your back does it cover?
It’s on my left shoulder blade, about a hand and a half high. The wings stretch to my spine.
*looks at the floor*
Sorry Ms B. I won’t spike your diet coke anymore.
But I will!
…wait, no no no! I will protect Ms. B! I will protect Ms B!
Sorry, but I have a hard time trusting anyone who is interested in seeing a woman naked, to keep me clothed!
So, you basically just ruled out every heterosexual male and homosexual female.
That hurts!
…but I’m sooo trustworthy – honest!
*eyes Loz and Brewski suspiciously as she sips her diet coke*
Oh, and Leila! I can’t forget Leila!
You can trust me, Ms B. Unless I’ve been eating Dark Side cookies again, anyway.
You can trust me too. I haven’t done anything… inappropriate.
Shut your eyes, Marion. Don’t look at it no matter what happens!
Don’t look Ethel!!
OK, Raiders of the Lost Ark reference, followed by “The Streak” by Ray Stevens.
What do I win??
You win a *squeeze*
Yay!!
*squeezes back*
It was a hit and run.
*squeezes AngelPlume*
Hullo!
Ooh! Def Leppard reference, AngelPlume?
Not intentionally. Was thinking of turning it into some kind of run, like “he hot-footed away” or “smashing flame” or something, but haven’t had enough coffee yet to make it coherent.
Smashing pumpkins.
Got a DL reference just a bit up there .^^^
*squeeze* Right back atcha.
{{{AngelPlume}}}
Should we call the cops? Or let them burn?
Let ‘em burn a bit, then call the cops. More effective lesson.
They were also charged with asphalt and battery.
We have concrete evidence to prove it!
They should be tarmacced and feathered.
That should cement this experience in their minds.
Their parents must be mortar-fried.
They might be aggregated.
Gourds are better with A-salt & buttery.
Just add a daub of wattle to it and you’re done!
Ahh…there we go! Crash and burn!
I brought cookies for MRN – for providing the fail!!
*sigh*
I wish my fingers would listen to my brain more often. Obviously I meant to give thanks to MRN for POWERING the video… not providing it.
Since MRN isn’t here…I will hold the cookies for him ChiaPet™ ♀.
If you need help holding those cookies,
I’m here for ya Leila!!!
Thanks Boobie. *looks at chest* No, I wasn’t talking to you.
We have to try and look innocent so that ChiaPet™ ♀ would part with them. *huge grin*
*Huge innocent grin*
Like this?
*titters*
Yes minus the tittering.
I don’t think it’s working.
Hey – what happened? I had some cookies here in my hand, and then focused on work and lost them!
SURRENDER THE BOOTY!!!!!
Nice thought ChiaPet™ ♀!!! Congratulations also to MRN when he arrives!!!
ch-ch-ch-ch-chia
I like how shit is censored out in the normal-speed version, but not in the slow-mo replay.
Ooh, that passed the moderators!
nope he says shit in both
I can say shit on here? shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.
I know, how shitty is that?
There, there…
*pat pat pat*
You’ll get used to it after you’ve been here a while.
AAAaaahhhhh!!! So twisted!! AAAAAHHHH!!!
*runs around screaming and waving arms*
I can swear with the best of them — but having a small child in the house has pretty much stifled that part of my brain.
*gasp*
I really hope this doesn’t mean I’m growing up.
*runs away, screaming*
Hey! Why is everyone copying my trademark screaming and running out of room?
Guess it was just catchy BFF. Sorry.
No need to apologise! I was just curious. I’m a bit proud that I seem to have started a trend!
Sorry BFF, I seem to inspire that reaction a lot among the living.
.
*notes previous post wasn’t censored in any way*
*complains to the censors, constantly repeating “No I am not!”*
A zombie AAAHHHHHH
*waves* not sure it is smart to hug a zombie
*turns and runs away screaming*
I wonder what they were expecting to happen. It would have worked better if they threw it.
They probably thought it would send a ball of fire up into the sky. Apparently they didn’t get far enough in common sense 101 to find out what happens when you mix oxygen and a fuel source.
*yawns*
*spawns*
*spawncamps*
I don’t think they were thinking at all. At least not about what might happen.
Teenage boys NEVER think ahead that far.
Thirty seconds?
I would have said 15, but that’ll do.
Maybe they do know what will happen, but like most great scientists, they don’t accept their hypothesis as truth until sufficient experimentation has been conducted.
Well said, bravo! *golf clap*
Hopefully he would have worn some type of protective gear if he thought it was going to explode.
*hopefully*
This is well up there with those guys who tried to make lightsabers with tube lights and fuel, they got luckier though.
Darwin Award candidate win.
If every teenage boy that got burned playing with fire was a Darwin Award candidate, the sheer amount of data would disable the intranets and trolls would inherit the earth.
*shudders*
Scary thought.
Just a thought here, but this might also qualify as a parenting fail.
Theres only so much they can do when dealt a hand full of jokers.
Given them pumpkin soup and taken them to the baseball park?
When the kids start leave the nest all you can do is hope they don’t set themselves on fire…and leave a nice comfy bed on the roof for when they do.
Setting people on fire is always funny
Aannii(hello) Anneshna(how are you).gaa naa(all).
Great balls of fire.
Liar, Liar, sandles on FIRE!
i like that little jump he does. it’s like the one will smith does at the end of the fresh prince intro. you know what i’m talking about.
I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
Buh-Duh Buh Bee-Dee-Do, Buh-Duh-Duh-Duh Buh-Duh Buh Bee-Dee-Do
Thanks for the ear worm.
At Live 8, Will Smith sang that in Philadelphia. It was epic.
I just hate how they cut out the airplane scene. First he’s in West Philadelphia, then suddenly he’s hailing a cab in Hollywood? WTF!?
♪The doof, the doof, the doof is on fire♪
♪We don’t need no water let the motherf*cker burn
Burn motherf*cker burn ♫
♫ You know that it would be a hoot
You know that I’m a budding vandal
Let’s go on and light that fruit
Burn it like a Roman candle
That’s damn skippy, light my sandal
That’s damn skippy, light my sandal ♪
*award LCB a gold star for creative lyrical composition*
*whispers into Brewski’s ear*
You might want to stock up on gold stars. LCB has quite the gift for creating impressive adaptations of songs.
and of course, they are shiney. LCB LOVES shineys.
Besides, if you don’t give them to her, she’ll..erm…’borrow’ them anyway
good shit
Sorry, big lunch.
And many laxatives.
Your moderation is awaiting commentary.
Your awaiting moderate commentary.
Videography fail.
Another fine instance of “wtf did he expect to happen?”
Stupid trolls ruined my failblogging today :/ *sniff*
I know, we can never get this day back!
What happened? I wasn’t here for most of the day. What with school and all.
Just were really bad in the morning…if I don’t get my fail on first thing, I am a failure for the rest of the day.
*puts arm around malicite’s shoulders*
.
Some schools start back in 2 months. We’ll survive as long as we stick together.
.
*kiss on forehead*
*attempts to comfort Malicite*
*hands Mal a cold, refreshing, adult beverage*
*squeeze*
*sniff*
Thanks you two.. *squeeze*
*thinks about the fact that he actually worked all day and fights back the tears*
Mal, trolls ran off jam and she is one of the nicest people here.
We need self defense measures.
If we built this large wooden badger -
…we can sell it on eBay and hire an assassin to take care of the trolls?
Let’s work on this idea…
ROFL. Thanks for the laugh — now my co-workers have even more reason to think I’m cuckoo.
*reminds herself to watch Holy Grail again sometime soon*
*squeeze*
I’m glad somebody got the reference!
*puts hand up*
I got it! I got it! I was just waiting for someone else to get it as well.
Holy hand grenade, anyone?
watch out for that rabbit flying at your neck…
I’m sure you got it BFF… and your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Safety fifth?
Five is right out!
Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
.
Amen.
.
Right! One … two … five!
.
Three sir.
.
Three!
…
Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.
Oh man, I’ve only seen that movie about 20 times, and I still missed the reference…
That dude deserves a Darwin award, fo sho.
*headdesk*
If every teenage boy that got burned playing with fire was a Darwin Award candidate, the sheer amount of data would disable the intranets and trolls would inherit the earth.
They already seem to be taking over the blog
The day of reckoning is upon us.
What is all this doomsaying? Could someone please explain the situation to me?
There has been an unusually high rate of trollistic activity today.
Really? Call me ignorant and unobservant, but I don’t see much troll activity today. Which fail are we talking about?
BFF, you are ignorant and unobservant! (you told me to)
You are right, on closer examination of the current fail there seems to be a distinct downward trend in the trollistic storms we were seeing in earlier fails today. Tomorrows forcast: Sunny, with chance of trolls.
*gasp*
But, but…
*bursts into tears*
.
Just kiddin’
But seriously, which fail are we referring to?
Bird Fail is where I came in today, it was bad then.
The kiddies come out in force around 8 to 10am, eastern time USA.
Thank (insert your respective god/s name here) for naptime.
Did somebody say naptime?
*snore*
You guys have Emily’s email, right? Just shoot her a message and she’ll clean ‘em up for you. If you don’t have her email (and I mean her REAL email, not the email addy at the bottom of the Failblog page), then email me and I’ll give it to one of you.
…But only if I trust you, and if you promise not to give it to ANYONE else, and promise not to abuse it.
I don’t like using the nuclear option. If somebody is outright hostile, then no prob. But some of them are just stupid and juvenile, so I just skip past them.
They’ve been quite responsive to me by the failblog link, so I don’t feel I need it. Thanks tho dragon.
I’d feel weird asking.
Who’s Emily? A FB mod? Introduce me
Hi Loz. Yeah, she is a mod. If ya don’t mind Dragon, I leave the reporting to you and the others. I can use my scroll button with extraordinary efficiency.
dicboobfart
The only thing I can figure is that school is out and all the little cretins are bored and need a new outlet to unleash their bullying.
Hmmmm, when I was a yound lad we just Your comment is awaiting moderation a lot.
With a melon?!
Once microwave ovens came along, yes.
Well, sure, but I think the ferrets are going a bit too far, B2th.
What about mice, are mice ok?
No more than 2. And don’t shave them!
The WHOLE melon?
If it helps, yes, yes it is with a melon.
Really? I thought it was Tuesday
AAAHHHH! There’s that thought again!!
I may never sleep again!
“All videos added as of April 29 do not include the intro, as promised.”
I wonder, what was wrong with the intro, why was it removed?
Several people complained that the cycling man who gets struck by lightning at the beginning of the video was irritating.
DOT ORG!
This thing is so old… I saw this years ago!
Darwin Win!!
*headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk**headdesk*
*slips a pillow between B2th’s head and his desk*
Yeah, we want him to survive his fit.
He will…if he can adapt, that is.
I’m a great adaptor, 120v in 12v out
Do you have a Beagle as a pet?
I’m too flustERed right now to get that
You have to be a very fit punster to survive this thread.
Did that one sail by you? Beagles are great pets…they’re no trouble atoll. Some people find that hounds, eh, extinct too much.
oh… Admiral… thank you for saving me in the other fail
*swoons*
*finches admiral’s rear*
*hopes dragondarling isn’t around…*
I saw what you did there.
*sheepish grin*
I’m glad you’re so gene-ial.
We could have allele party.
*hugs Loz and Dragon*
That would evolve lots of planning and shopping!
I clade a little space on the floor here for dancing
You know I love you like meiosis.
And I love you like my brother. Oh there he is – allopatric!
“110, 120 whatever it takes”
you spelled “rage” wrong.
Ok you silly people who keep throwing the Darwin Award thing around. Let’s pretend for a moment that even a fraction of the “Darwin Awards” are in fact real.
The definition of a Darwin Award: people who “do a service to Humanity by removing themselves from the gene pool” (i.e. lose the ability to reproduce either by death or sterilization in a stupid fashion).
Therefore the above fail CANNOT in any way shape or form be considered a “Darwin Moment” or “Darwin canidate”
No, but this fail might qualify as a “near miss”. (Check the Darwin Awards website and you’ll find plenty of those.)
Maybe, but I’m sure this scenario plays out in neighborhoods many times over accross the world each day. There is nothing really unique about it all all (but it is funny)
For example: The guys that try to steal copper from electrical wires and get zapped trying to do it don’t even make it because of the frequency in which it happens (and some of those guys die).
*removes stick from butt*
I’m over it now.
I’m with you on this one. I think Darwin awards should be reserved for epic failures like the 6 people a year who die from vending machines crushing them as a result of rocking them to steal what’s inside. To win a Darwin award, there should be an element of irony that accompanies the stupidity.
people have been abusing the Darwin awards? *frowns*
tell me who…
LOZ!!!
*shakes hand warmly and squeezes*
BFF! What happened to your name?! You impress me with your title(s).
There was a fashion for very long names a while back, and I rather liked mine, so I retained it. I’m one of the last FBers to still have this really long name.
How’s Uni for you? I just had my English GCSES a few weeks ago.
Ooh, GCSEs, you’re all grown up! How’d they go? I’ve finished uni
I graduate on the 8th of July, wheee!
And I’m sad I missed the long-name trend
They went very well, thanks. Fingers crossed! Congratulations on the graduation soon!
By the way, FB has been making a few changes, as you’ve probably noticed. For a start, we can’t say certain words anymore, like the f-word, or our posts won’t post.
Ah, thanks for the warning. I was just feeling the urge to drop an f-bomb, too! Which other words?
This one trips us up most often; any word with the character sequence i-m-a-g will be caught in the filter.
That is most peculiar…
sort yourselves out, FB!
Well, there’s the usual swear words (except shit) and naugthy bits, and for some bizarre reason i m a g e (take away the spaces).
Congrats!!!
Time for another party.
*starts collecting champagne, noisemakers, and confetti*
*digs around for something to wear*
I really hope that pun was intentional, Admiral!
*celebrates in a trowel-y rambunctious fashion*
*brushes hair*
Do I ever make unintentional puns?
I don’t know… that remains to be seen!
YAY! Good to see you, Lozenge!!!
*goose!*
Better to see you, old hag
*duck!*
*whacks Loz with cane*
GETTOFF MAH LAWN!!
ooh baby, spank me harder!
LOZ!!!!! *squeeze*
I’m in and out today, so sorry if I miss you!
(I’m bleaching the daylights out of my mothers kitchen)
*pounces on avis*
never worry, I plan to be around these parts more often now that I’m free.
why the bleach… or do I not want to know…?
It’s just time for a major clean is all. I did the same thing at my place as well. Everything out of every cabinet and then the cabinets get scrubbed down. I also reorganized some of their stuff. PLUS I’m going to clean the vents that are in the bathrooms. The face of them anyway. My black work-out pants are not so much anymore!
Haha, wow, you so sound like my kind of person. I LOVE to clean and reorganise. Let’s hang out some time; I’ll bring the rubber gloves!
I actually hate to clean. It pays though. But cleaning with friends sounds much more enjoyable!
Be careful, Avis. I gave my shower a long-overdue scrubbing the other day & my muscles are still sore.
Cleaning is bad for your health. *nods*
Being male I tend to not like domestic chores. My saving grace is that I am not a messy person so I don’t need to clean as much.
This was more of a spring-clean, get-rid-of-the-dust-on-the-top-of-the-cabinets-sorta-thing. Not so much messy, but dirty.
Domestic chores are not my favorite thing, either. My saving grace is that I have minions–er, children I can assign to do the chores I hate the most .
As long as you’ve got the stick up your butt, you might want to notice I said the dude *deserved* a Darwin Award. Not that he was eligible, or even a candidate. Since you’re splitting hairs and all, I thought the distinction might ease your troubled mind.
I’m glad you’re over it, though. You really shouldn’t let anonymous comments on the internet bother you so much. That’s called “self-control FAIL”…
Please note that you were one of three people that made a Darwin Award reference.
Teens, don’t try it at school!
Except for trolls, we should encourage them to try it as often as possible
Aw, it woulda been funnier if he had, like, suffered intense third degree burns, to the point that his face melted off and he was left without any recognizable facial features, and every time he had to undergo ANOTHER skin graft he would think about that day he batted a flaming ball, and he’d be all like “At least I didn’t burn down the foilage and houses around me.”
THAT would have been funnier.
Someone was not paying attention durring science/physics class.
Those kids were almost as brain stunted as the people who post comments regularly on Failblog.org.
I don’t think it was the sandals that failed.
That was put on Youtube about 5 yrs ago. My college roomate is filming it, and those are 2 of his idiot friends from Albany NY
Was your roommate the retard that said, “damn skippy I’m ready”? I hate him.
O my God !
You called?
How in the world do you keep getting promoted?
Ah, he is not of this world. He is the stuff of delusions!
He tends to be at the right place at the right time, from what I gather.
FRIEND FAIL!!!!
lol. any body up fro jerky?
ROFL, this has got to be one of the stupidest things i’ve seen in my entire life! His “friend” shooting doesn’t seem too concerned…
Notice how the baseball bat is on fire as it bounces away?
Wouldn’t a more practical attempt be to throw the bat at it or something?
why are they laughing when hes burning? hes getting really seriously hurt there
Nature’s way of thinning the herd?
Thank goodness for that!!
In Soviet Russia, YOU burn fire!!
lol
I am back and on fire.
I thought we got rid of the stupid lame annoying “dot org” from the new videos. Now I have to go back to muting the audio everytime when I watch? It’s not funny, nor cute, it’s just really really annoying, especially after the 100th time.
Did you, by chance, miss the editor’s note beneath the video?
Oh yeah, DOT ORG!
but is thas this certain je ne sais quoi.
Oh, I don’t know…
Well, I DO know: the ‘s’ has to be removed and the ‘t’ detached from ‘thas’.
I’ve heard of oral surgeons, but you need a written surgeon.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one that hates the dot org. Something about the way that kid says it makes me want to punch him in the head.
Farking DUMBA%#
Ok as dumb as this is it is so something I would do. Oh wait…I already have, except with a tennis ball
Tehehehe, good times
those friends suck, they didnt even go outside to make sure he was okay
Oh hey! Muggle Quodpod!
this is such an old video.
yeah seriously, but it never ceases to entertain me
The pyramids are old.
interesting
O.K.
Darwin Award Nominee WIN!!
Actually, I kinda like the intro
d00d how did they do that i want to do that too
OH $#17 HIS SANDLE WAS ON FIRE
HOLY CRAP, I know those kids! That culdesac is on the other side of my block, in Winston Salem, NC. They passed this video around the school my sister went to so I recognized it when I saw it. How cool! I know someone on failblog!!!
DAMN SKIPPY, I’M READY!
But the real question is – did the lad died????
but of course Toulour…but of course.
did he die?
Americans
WORST. FRIENDS. EVER.
did he die?
I thought that the ungodly annoying intro was supposed to go away? And had? Nice video, old but nice… no complaints really there… But I despise the intro entirely and was happy to be rid of it.
what did they put in it? i wanna try that no joke! my friendfs and i do stuff like that all the time!
Hey, that was me and my friends a few years ago. the goofy kid at the beginning that lights the gas filled fruit was me…
damn we used to do some stupid shit back in the day, haha. it was pretty funny to see this video again
oh, just to clarify, the kid was fine. he freaked out so much that he barely got burned, not even 2nd degree if i remember. and it was gasoline in the fruit… nething else?
oh, and to further clarify, yea, we were shitty friends and let each other get set on fire pretty regularly
innovation fail
ooooold video…
why did they have the old intro??!
not impressed.
Wait, if this video was created prior to April 29th, why haven’t we seen it now in JUNE.
*Mumblemumbledisgruntled*
the fact that he says damn skippy im ready
is a fail
Sandals Win…punish the stupid.
lol “Damn skippy i`m ready”
coconut win >.>
Burn baby. Burn!
LMAO
LoL. “Damn skippy I’m ready!”
lolz i think they need to look up the meaning of fire safety. DIPSHIIIIIIIIIIIIITS!
How is this not a _WIN_?
It’s not safe, but it’s fun.
yeah thats safe dumb ass
darwinism for the win
LOL that was funny
I can belive i just spent 3 and a half days reading all that
“Damn skippy I’m ready.” For that reason I say the guy filming gets the “FAIL”!
oh… nnarrahhhh!!!
*burns*
I need to try that sometime
The begining of fireworks is captured.
put it out!!