Red Carpet FAIL
Picture by: dunno source. Submitted by: Kmet via Fail Uploader
Nives Celzijus failed on Croatian Radio Festival.
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Cheezburger Network Blog
ow?
Second !
Third!
YEAH!
She’s just taking a nap at this comfortable nice velvet carpet =)
Nap with legs up
Don’t you nap with your legs up? I do.
i thought i was the only one,YAY nap buddy
*jumps on and hugs*
your hugs are gay.
Is it just me, or does anyone else want to get on the ground and start humping her?
May as well take advantage of the situation.
You know you’re a pervert, right?
And thats why you keep getting unexplainable pregnancy’s
No, somebody double taped the carpet, you can see the tape lying right next to it. Lame practical joke.
tramp stamp win!!!!!!!!
not double tape.. you’re just an idiot. Good attempt at solving the puzzle though.
Someone calling someone else an idiot when they’ve missed an obvious joke. Lolyourlife
No
failure to stand
stalure to faint
sailor to taint
baylor too quaint
Confusion win!
This chick is divining for cock and obviously failed.
hello everyone!
*squeeze*
oh my squish!!! OH MY SQUISH!!!!! OH. MY. SQUISH.!!!!!!!!
I. WANT. TO. BE. FIRST. SOOO. BAD.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont even know why… *sobs quietly in confusion*
I promise i wont yell first…
(wow i need a hug)
this is probably because no coffee+ late at night= weird emotions.
*sits quietly while lower lip trembles*
calm down
*arm around shoulders*
you are going to be first sometime, you just need three things:
1) close all your porn tabs in your browser
2) get adult sized ultra-absorvent diapers
3) cupcakes
thanks for the advice. the cupcakes helped ALOT! but i dont understand why you made me wear diapers. they make my butt look big
That’s a price to pay, i’m sorry.
cheers from Brazil =)
btw, girs dig guys on diapers.
ooohhhh… Brazil… how fancy!
fancy? was that ironic ?
hey guys!! i was first!! hahahahaaa!!!
i feel so good.
go to loldogs the first post!!!
*does happy dance*
i promised i would not say first, but i forgot. :\
Hmmm.
wat?
Indeed.
In soviet russia, the tofu bends over you.
???
u make me laff. =D
Your name is PLAYED.OUT.
haha heyy loser
there’s a good chance she’s dead.
LOL
Who doesn’t enjoy eating red carpet?
wtf random?
Ability to wear heels FAIL
she’s too used to not wearing anything at all. she simply had too many layers on and it threw her balance off. she’s also not used to actually walking in the heels, just laying on a bed with them on while posing.
scrimpty’s comment is a FailBlog Post Interpretation Win!
Comment Win
For a moment there I thought you wrote “Ability to hear wheels FAIL”.
Fortunately or not, I read it right the next time.
I liked your train of thought.
Did her little red caboose get ahead of the engine?
My train of thought always derails.
Mine often gets stuck at the station.
Sometimes I just lose steam.
I find mine need tending.
That’s an ‘ell of a thing, isn’t it?
When it comes to thinking clearly, some people need a coach.
Runaway train – never coming back
wrong way down a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Hearing FAIL.
ahaha that’d be even funnier
Nice tatoo
for a tramp
She’s tasting the carpet.
carpet has a flavr?
oh wait
I’d hit you with my mallet for using Lolspeak here, but since I’d like to make AngelPlume and others feel welcome here, I shall refrain from doing so.
It was a necessary evil to make to joke.
He meant mullet
No. He didn’t.
LOLspeak win.
Guilty as charged
No Video FAIL
Somehow the still is even better
Nice place for a nap.
Nice avatar, what does it mean?.
It’s the Japanese character for “fire”.
So he is on fire?. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
:devil:
Gotta be one somewhere
LOL HAHA
First thought was that was Paula Abdul til I read the name.
Who is that??
read the capshun why dont cha?
Even reading the caption doesn’t tell me who the hell it is.
Caption says: “Nives Celzijus failed on Croatian Radio Festival.”
Careful observation FAIL!
yeah, It gives me the name. That doesn’t tell me who it IS. For that, I would need to Google. There’s a difference between getting the name and knowing who it is.
*facepalm*
Too much work apparently.
Much more work than asking people around here. Apparently.
This guy reminds me of my students. GAWD FORBID they have any initiative and be an active participant in their own learning. They would much rather do nothing and remain ignorant.
Man. They get SO pissed at me because I won’t let them do that. Hee hee hee!
I’ve noticed a HUGE generation gap when it comes to this. I’ve noticed that the younger generations are getting lazier and lazier when it comes to learning in general. My own little brother didn’t even graduate high school and had to be motivated very creatively to get him to finish the make-up classes. It’s soooo sad!
HAH!
I concur with that having four kids.
I actually have to say he might have a point about using google. He might be using an alternate web browser (like the wii, psp, ect.) which makes typing stuff really slow. Asking is better then.
Stupid hiccups.
Learn to stereotype more please. It’s always cute when people act like their generation is so much better than this generation. I happen to know for a fact we’re not the first generation to have lazy people in it. But it’s okay because clearly when we’re older we’ll be as stuck in our ways as you. Oh wait I’m not old enough to have an opinion because that would require effort and a valid opinion! I apologize for this failrant.
Would you say that your students now are lazier, dumber, less willing to learn, less curious than they were some years ago?
No…I don’t think I’d say that. I would say, however, that the information age has led them to some unrealistic expectations that knowledge will magically appear just because they ask for it, and that they never have to question the validity of said knowledge. My students get absolutely outraged when I tell them that they can only use library sources (books and sources from the online databases my university subscribes to) and that they cannot just use any random website or wiki page to get their information.
Hehe, I know what you mean. My observation, backed by others, is that they are less critical than my generation is/was. An old teacher once told me that it was pretty much impossible to teach in the 70s, because everybody would question everything. In the 80s it was the same, except that they boiled everything down to other core issues. My generation then apparently was less ideological, but still critical. In the last years, he said, his students were ready to believe everything he told ‘em. Sad and scary…
Hee…! Absolutely. You and I are of the same generation. You’re just a few years younger than I.
Really? I thought you were waaaaaay older!
(Kidding!
I left you a message on your website, btw.)
PLLLBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! :p
*goes to look*
I thought you were the older one, Arthur.
PLLLBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!
Teehee!
So much saliva flying around… *sigh*
Beautiful rainbow, though.
Hi Arthur! I’m glad your here today. Much respect to you!
I just wanted to comment on your “rant” from a couple weeks ago regarding pollution, et. al.
*on soapbox*
I live in Los Angeles and have since 1980, and everywhere I go I see huge amounts of waste. Let’s take my car, for example. I hardly ever drive it, usually taking public transit, but when I do I am aghast at the waste inherent in it. It weighs about 2500lbs and gets around 30 MPG. Pretty good for an ‘87 SAAB. But the average auto wastes 80% of the gas it consumes as heat and only around 20% goes into locomotion (rough estimates). I weigh less than 10% of what the car does, so that comes out to being only about 2% of the burned gas goes to moving what I want to be moved – me!
Then I look into the trash. Take a six-pack of crappy beer, for instance, beer that should never have been brewed in the first place. Just where did that cardboard container come from? Trees. Shipped several times, hundreds, if not thousands of miles before it ends up in the store (not to mention the chemicals, inks, etc., that were themselves shipped hundreds or thousands of miles). And where does it go? Either to the landfill or to a recycling place to be shipped hundreds of miles again before it becomes something useful again.
People are all into recycling, but let’s remember that the phrase used to be here: Reduce, reuse, recycle.
Trouble is there’s no money in the first two. Reducing the amount we use doesn’t make anyone a dime and reusing what we’ve bought cuts into somebody’s profits. So, it’s recycle, recycle, recycle. I’d love to be able to take my empty wine bottles to the store and have them refilled from a big drum, which then would go back to the winery and be refilled.
And regarding the wine itself, why am I drinking wine made in Argentina? Easy, it’s cheap. California makes more fücking wine than France, but I buy wine from Argentina! That’s ~5000 miles! Brazilian hardwood is shipped to China for milling and then shipped here (or further) for installation. This is crazy. A piece of wood travels around the world.
As an aside, regarding the air in L.A., it is very clean now. I know that’s hard for everyone to believe, but it’s true. When I first came here in 1980 I stood on top of a building in downtown and the 6th block disappeared into the yellow haze. Now I can see for miles and miles all the time. I thank the State of California for leading the nation on the pollution control of the autos and trucks – it’s been a big help and I breath easier for it.
*off soapbox*
Whoa!
First of all, thanks!
I’m surprised by two things: Clean air in LA and public transport in LA. Apparently some things have changed since I’ve last been there (10 years ago). Great! As far as I know, California’s enviromental laws are as strict as the German laws, if not stricter. Which is great, especially since California is one of the most productive states in the US (again, as far as I know), hence proving that green doesn’t mean the enviroment is well, but the economy isn’t.
I’m offering a bet: I say ten to 15 years from now, the Europeans will look up to the US for their achievements in green technologies and copy them. And the majority of Americans will agree that protecting the only planet we have is a good idea.
Yeah, clean air in L.A., and they’re working on Long Beach because all the ships sit and idle there. They’ve finally mandated that the ships use on-shore power and shut down their big stinky diesels.
As for the public transit, buses run all over the place and pretty frequently, too. Many are powered by CNG and they have some HUGE ones (articulated). It’s not uncommon to find 100 people on a single bus.
God I hate these stereotypes…
Look, I’m almost 17 and a Junior in High School. I never believe most of the sh*t that by teachers try to dish out. The problem I’ve noticed isn’t just the students. The thing is that every single day we get shoved down our throats lies about the sheer impossibility of getting into college (It’s easier than they say, at least) and that combined with the conviction of the teacher’s beliefs actually scares the students into treating this stuff as fact whether it is or not. All they care about is whether they get it right on the next quiz or test. In the current school system, teachers support grades more than they do actually LEARNING. These priorities cause the changes you have observed.
Thaze, thought experiment. When is the last time you had a question about something? Ok now how did you get your answer? Further when was the last time you had a question about something, how it works for example? Did you ever investigate the topic? Did you do an experiment to see if your findings were correct?
Thaze, this would be nclb (no child left behind) at work, which mandates that students be able to test well or schools/teachers get punished. Quite apart from being a fine f-ing way to boost low-performing schools, this causes a lot of less skilled teachers (another rant for another day) to resort to teaching strictly and solely for the standardized test, which is *gag* multiple choice and consists of filling in endless little bubbles without much critical or creative thought. This system is part of the problem. People (students and teachers) actually putting up with it is another problem.
I’m not convinced that NCLB has had a big impact on the percentage of students that make it through school with critical thinking skills. I’m a firm believer that the single biggest determining factor whether a child will be lifelong learner with the ability to think, question, reason, and argue persuasively is whether they entered school wanting to learn. A child gets that from parents.
I beg to differ a little. This may be a nature versus nurture thing but you do not necessarily get it from your parents. A break in the cycle is always possible, though a good upbringing is always a boost. For instance a child going on to college even though their parents want them to join the family business, or both parents never went to college or university. I know of some specific cases where parents were not around for most of the child’s upbringing and he still always strived to do well in school. One of my best friends actually.
The Admiral said it was “a major determining factor”. Obviously this means that he acknowledges that other factors are at play here. No single element is going to explain 100% of situations, and there are always exceptions. It is a proven fact, however, that parental involvement has a positive effect on a child’s ability and desire to learn.
I’m talking about early education. College decisions don’t factor into this. Even parents that would be negligent enough to discourage college for their child should want them to be educated enough to improve the family business.
Neither of my parents went to college, but they made d*mn sure that I went. I see no relationship to this statement and what I said.
These people you know…were they raised by wolves? Somebody raised them, even if they weren’t the biological parents.
What Dragon said better than what I originally wrote in this paragraph.
Maybe I got caught being a bit of a literalist but when he said it was “the single biggest determining” factor. I inferred singularity. In the end I think there are some other major factors that should just be mentioned. With no respect at all to what was mentioned but more of a general tally. I would say availability of education, the willingness of the student (at an early age is hard to judge) and then I would add in parenting. Though we must take into account the relationship between child and parent. If the child wants to spite or impress their parents, well two outcomes are possible.
Oh and the reason I mentioned a college level was because the original discussion came from a high school student and I was presenting the next available option level.
It is quite clear that there is an assumption that education is available.
A “willingness of the student” is equivalent to wanting to learn. This is not a counter-argument.
I didn’t say that a child’s success is dependent on the parents directly teaching them, though that certainly helps. What I did say is that it is imperative that a child grows up with a desire to learn.
Why bring up extremely dysfunctional situations? Again, all that was stated was that children get the desire to learn from their parents. That’s not the only place they can get it. If the parental situation is screwed up, the child may learn it from a surrogate.
I’m done with this conversation.
“I would say availability of education, the willingness of the student (at an early age is hard to judge) and then I would add in parenting.”
You can say whatever you want…that doesn’t make you right. The seminal studies have identified four specific criteria that have the greatest impact on student learning, achievement, and desire for success in school: early and continuing parental involvement, the teachers, the curriculum, and setting. Another study claims that “children’s attitudes are influenced more by their parents’ attitudes about their abilities than by their own past performances.”
Your own personal experiences are not empirical data.
I was not presenting it as a counter argument. I even went as far as to say, “With no respect at all to what was mentioned but more of a general tally.” I agree with you actually in the end, I just enjoy promoting further discussion by exploring the other criteria.
Oh and DW I know for sure that one person’s experiences cannot be considered empirical data. If I wanted to make it empirical I would need a larger test group and have it scientifically acclaimed. In the process losing its personalness to me.
But Dw already discredited my tally anyways.
I don’t know AE if “dumber” should be used but maybe a lack of proper guidance or no imagination might be a tbetter word to discribe the condition that we used to call dumb.LOL
Mr. Arthur, the state of California has filed for bankruptcy. They’re in the worst financial condition in the country. I don’t know that it is because of their environmental legislation, but it certainly isn’t success in spite of it.
I didn’t know that. But anyway, I was rather talking about California’s contribution to the US-GDP. I am still unsure if I’m correct, though.
Sounds like F.U.N!
lol I didnt say I didn’t or that I wouldn’t I’m not even the one that asked who it was. I only commented that knowing the name doesn’t nec. tell you who it is.
FacePalm(tm)?
google.com
And so, do you really know who Paula Abdul is? Do you know her personally? I don’t think so. Just because its a name you know doesn’t mean you know the person and vice versa.
*facepalm*
For the love of cheese, just search the darn thing up!
She’s a Croatian singer/model/socialite/author, at least according to the quick Google search I did. Of course, if you’re not Croatian that probably still doesn’t help–didn’t help me, that’s fer sure.
I think yours was a valid question, but I would have phrased it differently: instead of “who is that?” (a question which, in all honesty, is answered by the photo caption), a better way to phrase it might have been “What is this person’s claim to fame?” (Aside from being the poster child for The Society for the Banning of Stiletto-Wearing from Occasions Where Walking is Neccessary.)
She’s just a bit tired from a hard night out is all…
“I’ll just rest my head here for just a second.”
And she was working, like a dog.
She was working doggy style you mean? <_<
Who is that bitch?
Nives Celzijus. I highly recommend looking her up like I did ( http://www.croportal.net/forum/zene/nives-drpic-zeljkovic-celzijus-1395/stranica30/ ).
There are much more flattering pictures of her available, as you can see.
Well there are more pictures of her but I think you have an od definition of ‘flattering’…however if we wanted to be able to see what she ate for breakfast that day…then it’s a win.
There is no need to be misogynist and hateful. This is offensive and should be removed.
Huh, from the looks of it i thought it might be Paula Abdul, after tipping back to many..
oh thank GOD, I thought I was the only one
tipping back too many?
There is no such thing!
lol
OUCH. I think she just broke her face.
LOL that must have hurt!!
FAIL!!!
At least she face planted on that nice soft carpet
They may want to invest in some carpet padding….or air bags on the red carpet the next time huh?
hmm… cracks underneath thin carpet conspiracy! HAr HAr
Actually it is most likely that what see landed on are large and soft and always with her
If those aren’t factory originals, I doubt they’re soft.
Well, I’m not gonna check them!
I’m sure there are plenty of guys who would be MORE than happy to assess her assets for us.
My question here is: Did she bounce?
Rugburn reality
That is how you tell, good question neener.
Sounds like a job for Vince!
This proves that chicks are stupid… and generally fail at life
Proceeds to beat the crap out of “GoblingAsshole” for failing at being worthy of life…..
*beat, kick, hit, pound* Give me back that oxygen you’re wasting!
Holds GoblingAsshole for Amber to beat
Sexist much?
This post proves you’re a mysogynistic bastard, and generally fail in social situations.
Psst! AP! On behalf of chicks everywhere I thank you for your support, but remind you to practice NPT always.
Thanx, LCB. I usually refrain, but this one looked fun to play with.
Interesting fact: I went to look up “mysogyny” to make sure I was spelling it right, but it wasn’t in my little paperback version, so I went to the big hard-bound unabridged one that came with the house (we got it from the original owners). It’s copyright date is 1938, and doesn’t list mysogyny either.
How far we’ve come, eh? At least now it’s a word.
(psst, AP – misogyny
)
However, we have definitely come a long long way. Some of us, anyway.
LOL – I actually checked online for it after checking the dictionaries, and didn’t even see the i-vs-y mistake when it came up. Guess my lolcat invisibility to spelling is showing, or perhaps I just need to get some coffee.
And yes, misogyny is in both dictionaries. D’oh!
*peeks in, munching a donut from the previous fail*
HAI, guys! Oooooh, a troll! Over here, we tend to bash the hateful, bigoted ones who don’t have two brain cells to rub together. I admit, I can’t help myself in those situations, either.
*cheez-squeeze*
Hi, DW! *squeeze*
So did I bash him good, huh? Did I? Did I? Huh?
You did! However–one teeny little nitpick–I would have changed “in social situations” to “in life”. I think you gave it waaaaaaaaaaay too much credit, but maybe that’s just me.
Maybe the troll is pretty good at breathing, eating, digesting and all that. He surely sucks when it comes to contact with other humans.
Arthur!
*squeeeze*
How are you this fine day?
I think I’m getting sick.
Had to work today, will have to work tomorrow and I’m feeling as if I’m wearing a helmet. You know us men – a simple cold is HORROR! 
How are you, mighty Dragon?
*squeeze*
Nooooooooo!!
*gives Arthur some tea with lemon, a soothing lozenge, a blanket and a cool cloth for his forehead*
Feel better soon! And I’m very well, theng-kew. I think I’ll spend the day writing. Woohoo!
I hope the Jack Johnson story? I’m waiting…
*ears perk*
You write? What do you write?
Oh, and thanks!
PK – clicky her name…
Sorry, Arthur…I’m working on a new novel. :p
I’m such a sci-fi/fantasy nerd. I added your books to my “to-read” list with GoodReads, Dragon. I’m excited to read them!
*runs to look*
*runs back*
*kneels down to Dragon*
Dear gods, you have my undying respect for making it into print with fantasy novels. I’ve been trying for what feels like forever. Although recently, health issues and paying the bills have forced it to a lower priority. *sigh*
Um… *changes her clickee and points to it*
Dragon – when will your books finally be translated in German? Or are they?
WOOHOO!!! A fellow scribbler!!!
*throws arms around prysma and gives her a mighty SQUEEZE*
*squeezes Ms B, too*
Thanks, sweets!
@Arthur–I know they are for sale on a bunch of German websites, but I don’t think it has actually been translated into German yet. Hell…the first book is only just being released in a hardbound edition, and it came out eight years ago.
You don’t …think? Wouldn’t you, aka the author, know?
You’d think so, wouldn’t you? I can’t keep straight all the languages and editions that have come out over the years.
Now, if my agent could just frikkin’ sell the new one I finished over two years ago, that would be GREAT!!!! But…alas…no one is buying books these days, and the market is flooded with fantasy novels. So I have to finish this new one.
*tears at hair in frustration*
*wishes the market would flood with GOOD fantasy novels, like yours*
Amazon tells me that there are no hits if I search for your name. Below that it shows me… your books. Not translated.
Damn. Sowwy, sweets.
*hug*
No one is buying these days… no kidding. *bangs head repeatedly against the wall*
I promise you, I am not a wannabe who flung a bunch of words together and declared it a novel. The one I’m trying to sell is a good, rather dark, urban fantasy. It’s the fourth one I’ve written, the first two were crap and the third one needs a massive overhaul. Y’think I can get it even looked at, by agents or publishers?
*slinks off morosely to eat chocolate cheesecake and feel sorry for herself*
*peeks in for a bit*
Hi everyone. Ooooh! Dragon’s writing today?
*perk*
*POUNCE!!!*
I was hoping you’d get here!!
Dragon, I have to ask, how did you break in to the published novel scene? Did it come about through the University of Missouri?
I see we have a great crowd for a Saturday! You know how tough it is for me on the weekends…I see I don’t have to worry about the blog content today.
*&^&% Emperor!
I know, sweetie…that’s why I was so glad to see you!
*smooooch*
And with that, I’m afraid I must say adieu for now…the book isn’t going to write itself. I’ll be back later, though.
Our usual time and place, then?
*smoooch!*
No worries. {{{AP}}} Come have some cake! *cuts a generous slice of chocolate cheesecake and hands it to AP*
*droooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool*
*cuts another large slice of chocolate cheesecakeand offers it to Dragon*
Hateful, bigoted, stupid, and all, they still won’t listen to a word you say, and they’ll get their jollies from the fact that they made you respond. The only ones who benefit are the trolls.
I dunno…it can actually be somewhat therapeutic to squish and fry trolls from time to time…but you’re right. It’s much better to just eat cake.
*munchity-munchy-munch*
I used to write long responses, hoping to win them over. But now we just all gather in the breakroom and have delicious cake!
Besides, we DO have a secret method of dealing with trolls!
GASP!
{{{{{{JCH4K}}}}}
good to see you my friend!!
I’m loving seeing some ICHC peeps over here!
*rushes over to 3heathens with an oxygen mask*
Keep breathing, now!
*hyperventilates*
Oh, I’ve never had chocolate cheesecake! May I? And *squeeze* all!
Of course you can! Here, have a slice, I’ll make sure it has extra little chocolate curly shavings on top.
*squeeze*
You…you’ve never had chocolate cheesecake???
*faints*
Poor, poor Judy.
I’m actually defintely for sure going to have to go find one/or a recipe for – in rl, because this virtual one is to die for!!!.
If you ever get the chance you should go to the Cheesecake Factory. Their food is wonderful but we usually go for just appetizers and cheesecake. YUMMo
Actually, it’s rather rare to see a troll who is so aptly named!
And I’ve brought my favorite language news of the day! Did you know that English now OFFICIALLY has 1 million words?? I think this just happened yesterday. But- alas! The word is web 2.0!!! Which looks very fake to me, but it has been vetted by the people who do this.
And to THINK it could have been “slumdog,” which came in at 999,997!!! So close, yet so far. Apparently, it’s been 1500 years that we’ve been waiting for the millionth word. And it could have been a wonderful word that conjures up the sights and sounds of India! *sigh*
I agree. That’s a TERRIBLE millionth word. Tell you what…let’s just swap “web 2.0″ and “slumdog” and call it golden, yeah?
It could have been noob as well. Can you imagine that?
I still don’t understand how they decide what’s a word and what’s not.
Is lolcat in there as an official word yet?
It’s a much better word than “web 2.0″.
The “chicks” won’t let you touch them right? A little bitter maybe?
so you’re still a virgin eh?
Hey, folks! The Cheezpeeps are hosting a party in the breakroom with lots of cake of various kinds, baked by our very own caramelchef! It’s much better to feed yourself cake than to feed the trolls and encourage them, eh? *starts shooing people gently towards the breakroom*
I’m quite new around here. Could you show me the way to the breakroom?
We have a breakroom here?! I’ve been here almost a year and I’ve never seen it.
However, you should get the point about commenting on this thread.
?
“There’s cake in the breakroom” is the code phrase we came up with to warn other lolcats not to reply to a particular post, since it would be feeding a troll, which only encourages them.
It also gives us a good excuse to have a cake-and-squeezing party to support our comeraderie rather than supporting trollish behavior. You guys might want to take a different approach, but since we get trolls too, you can come over to our thread for cake and {{hugs}}.
Clear enough?
That’s an incredibly clever way to deal with the problem, AngelPlume. Perhaps we can adopt it. We’re learning so much from each other!
Ohh I love cake in the breakroom! Teach us more, Cheezfriends!
LOL GBF.
Not having a breakroom is probably part of why you have such a nasty troll infestation around here. So, we added one, I hope you don’t mind. Right this way, ladies, gentlemen, and other sentient lifeforms. Help yourselves to the cake, there should be something to please everyone, and there’s an assortment of drinks on the sideboard.
Wow, so you guys built this room? It’s amazing!
*helps self to cake and can of Sprite*
We’ve had some experience with building. We’re considering adding a full-sized bakery on the side of ours.
Plus we had to expand our Naughty Corner, to which we send ourselves or each other when being naughty, into an entire Naughty Barn, and there are a couple of people who have simply given up and built themselves apartments there since they spend so much time in it.
And there’s the Pi Stall, and, oh, lots of other stuff.
Here, try this red velvet cake, it’s very popular with cheezpeeps.
Can I have some cake and eat it too?
15?
*tries to pick up where we left off days ago*
Ooh, I came back just in time for cake! Thank you, PK!
*helps herself to some cake and a glass of milk*
I live to serve.
However, right now, my cats are demanding that the service be performed for them, and I do have some things to do.
See you later, folks!
*squeezes failbloggers*
{{{{{cheezpeeps}}}}}
And remember, if any more trolls show up, there’s still plenty of cake!
Walk past the Hot Tub, right at the Bar, down the steps, around the corner and then look… Oh never mind, just turn around and open the door Labeled “BREAK ROOM”
Oh, it’s very easy. You just follow JCH4K Blvd until you get to the JCH4K Roundabout. Take the exit for JCH4K Avenue, keep going until you get to the corner of JCH4K and JCH4K. You will see a parked Mitchell’s van. The driver will hand you an envelope containing directions for the rest of the way.
So easy!!! Hi, FailBloggers! I’m so glad we’re friends now. We’ve been talking about it, and think we have more than enough in common. And see? We can speak English, too. It’s just. . .well, it’s just not nearly as funny.
*squeeze!!*
My roflcopter is going soi soi soi!!! I’m sorry you missed the cuddle puddle yesterday!
See…we have our own weird little language here, too. I’m sure you guys will pick it up in no time.
I’m sure we will… with some help! What’s a roflcopter and why does it go soi soi soi? *tilts head to one side quizzically*
HEY! Quit tilting my head!
Er, sorry. *lets go of LCB’s head and tilts her own instead*
Go to youtube and search on it, you’ll find more than you ever wanted to know.
Here’s an example video. Clickie.
That’s a good one, though I was trying to find the one with an actual human doing it. Somebody put it up as a clickie a while back, but I didn’t find it.
Well, thanks! You managed to waste a large portion of my afternoon with that clickie – since I then followed links and discovered the RoflBrothel and other classic MicroSoftSam moments.
I taught a few of them about the potato yesterday.
And yet in spite of that, I still had a nice big baked potato for dinner.
Did you wait until it cooled before you tried to insert it?
JUDY!!
AVIS! I thought of you today – I’m making a cream puff cake. Wondered if you’d heard of and/or tried one.
*snorks because “puff” = bordello in German*
*snork*
I love you Arthur!
I don’t really bake all that much. Cook yes. Roast yes. Bake, not so much. I DO make a stellar red velvet pound cake with cream cheese icing though. From scratch. I don’t make it but once a year or so because it has one pound of sugar in just the ICING. This isn’t even taking into account the amount in the CAKE!
Wow, so a cream puff cake has a real special meaning for you, doesn’t it, Arthur?
Oh, Avis, is the icing recipe on your site?
I don’t remember, but:
2 3oz pkgs cream cheese
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter at room temp
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 lb confectioners sugar
1-2 tsp milk (if needed)
Combine the cream cheese and butter and blend until smooth. Stir in the vanilla mixing well. Gradually add in the sugar, beating until creamy. If necessary add milk to achieve spreading consistancy.
Here you go!
Thanks, Avis! *squeeze*
Yes. And I mashed it up with a fork, too. Goes in easier that way.
Less fun.
Ehnh. Doesn’t matter. I prefer firemen anyway. Studs, not spuds.
(And just in case there is lingering confusion because my avatar and screen name are not gender-specific, I am a feminine female.)
This sounds scary… maybe I don’t want to know.
Look up clergy fail, I think. The source of all the potato jokes. All of OUR potato jokes anyway.
Vicar Potato Fail…I think…That’s what I searched yesterday and it pulled it right up.
“Vicar Fail”, actually.
*waves ‘bye to all the failfriends and cheezpeeps*
I’ll be back later!!
*squeeze*
Then I’ll be gone. Bye!
Have fun writing!
*squeeze*
Potato… OWCHIE!!!!!
Good luck with the writing.
Oh and bye to Arthur too.
I wasn’t gone yet, but now I’m leaving. Bye all!
Alone again, naturally. . .
Naturally, well why didn’t you say that in the first place.
There you are, LCB, you naughty kitty! Can I have my shiny bracelet back from yesterday? Hmmmm?
*pretends to be too busy filing nails to hear Judy*
*wonders whose nails these are*
*hides rings*
*enjoys the manicure*
At least it wasn’t an expensive one. And I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Enjoy it, LCB, and know from now on, my shinys come off before I log on!
Thanks, Judy! You are a very generous individual.
*squeezes Judy*
Now, DW. Are you ready for your bikini wax? I’ve got fresh flypaper today. *looks around* DW? Hello?
*squeezies* LCB! Oh, and DW went that-a-way! *points in the opposite direction*
*was looking in mirror when Judy pointed*
*runs off after DW, flypaper flapping, in opposite direction of where Judy pointed*
She left for a while.
Mmm-hmmm.
In the meantime, can I interest YOU in a bikini wax?
*stands ready with flypaper poised*
Believe me when I say I’d look pretty funny in a bikini.
Of course you would — if you hadn’t been waxed!
There is not enough wax within the lower 48…
Is THAT what you kids are calling it these days?
As in ‘giving you life’ G.Ass? You picked the right name.
no, not all “chicks” are stupid but this one is… really stupid… I mean really REALLY stupid… trust me, she is from my country… she’s dumb as hell -.-’ trust me, she didn’t fall because she tripped, she fell because she couldn’t remember how to walk…
It’s hard enough being called a “dumb blonde”, you have to say I stink at life? Gee, thanks! *smushes ice cream cone into face, then sighs* What a waste of a Drumstick, but I had no choice… hate trolls. And goblins, apparently.
Have you seen me Ц¢?? It’s hugeeeeeeeee!!!
*tries to find it with a loupe*
No…nooo… Yes! I see it! Sheesh, that’s hard to find.
psst… I think that’s a skin-tag. I’d say keep looking but, eww!
Arthur…that’s a pimple.
*hands over x200 jeweler’s loupe*
I doubt he’ll find any jewels on him DW.
I am not a troll, but I have to ask: Did she die?
She’s just resting.
(Failed) Have you seen me Ц¢k? It’s hugeeeeeeeee!!!
Yeah, you (Failed), because no one replied to your first comment.
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Thanks, Shirley. We appreciate that.
And don’t call me Shirley.
OO I know!The carpet should be blue!Did I win?
Wow! I’m tired…I think I’ll just…
*faceplant*
Carpet: Apply Directly To The Forehead.
Carpet: Apply Directly To The Forehead.
snork!
Insanity On: Listen Directly To The Commercial.
Insanity On: Listen Directly To The Commercial.
I think you mean FacePalm(tm).
The two rolls of tape suggest that they were meant to hold the carpet down. Someone probably forgot to tape the edges to the ground. The carpet moved under her feet and she slipped. Blame the people who organized the event. Organizer FAIL!!
you think too much
And not all that well, apparently.
I would like to request you to please be respectful. I have noticed you making snide remarks to several of my comments. I hope you would refrain from doing so. I strongly doubt I have said anything that is offensive to you or anyone else here.
She>/i> is in charge of securing the carpet. She’s trying to lick it like an envelope before resorting to the unsightly tape.
I tripped.
Don’t fall!
She did secure the carpet. It’s not going anywhere with her holding it down.
Hm, suggestion for future reference: choose your shoes based on whether you can walk in them rather than how sexy you think they make you look, or alternatively wear full football padding to prevent personal injury if you simply must wear the “sexy” ones.
I think this might be Angel, from ‘Rent’, the shoes fit.
but is that her tramp stamp?
I don’t know, I don’t think shoes that cause injury are all that sexy. Awkward merely looks… awkward.
That would be why “sexy” is in quotes.
I’ve never liked high heels. I’d rather women just wear comfortable shoes.
Then again, I don’t particularly like makeup, or perfume, or any of that. I’d rather see the woman for who she is instead of who she is trying to pretend to be.
You’d love me – I don’t even wear deoderant. Ha ha
I pretty much live in jeans and a T-shirt. My shoes are usually comfy, when they’re new they can be problematic. I do like to get dressed up every once in a while though.
Face-plant.
Plant-face.
*Face-carpet*
Face-Palm(tm)?
For a moment I was going to post “she looks like she died”…then I thought “oh snap!”
I can’t believe I my absent-mindness was about to feed the trolls.
Someone already did it up there a ways^^^. At least no one has responded.
I refuse to touch that ↓ as well.
There’s a third one at the bottom.
When will they stop asking this?
Never.
I think you’re too pessimistic, Arthur. Or am I just too naive?
I hope you’re right and I’m wrong.
*pats Pirx sympathetically*
Much too naive. Sorry.
Go with the latter.
1, Anyway, it’s good to know that trolls will never be able to break the non-troll community of FailBlog. (at least until they don’t have giant killer robots and Imperial Star Destroyers)
2, Clicky!
Python references work well around here. Try the Argument Shop. It’s a hoot.
Did she died?
I does not appear that she even tried to break the fall, her hands are still at her sides as if it was a faint, blackout, abrupt coma, or sudden death. Or maybe she’s just stupid and clumsy.
i bet on the last thing, stupid and clumsy.
she always droves in expensive cars and lays in her golden bed, so she never learned how to not get hurt when falling.
(sry for bad english im from germany)
she’s stupid and clumsy… always has been… -.-’
I think she is simply holding the carpet in place for the person who’s job it is to tape it down.
Surely there’s a more efficient way of holding down a carpet than being sprawled all over it?
You’d think so, but try I as I might, I’ve never found an easier way. This way really does give the best results.
Nails work remarkably well.
In concrete?
Ok, LiquidNails (trademark thingie)!
Of course, then the carpet is going to be there for quite some time…
Lag bolts, tapcons etc but 9 inch spikes could do the trick as well. So Avis is right in saying nails.
I say Ramset. That’s the trick, plus it has the added bonus of using explosives!
Maybe even some pl premium.
What’s that?
Construction adhesive, Stuff will glue your fingers together indefinitely. Unless you cut them apart.
Sound like fun to me. I haven’t cut apart my fingers in far too long.
TrademarkThingie(tm)?
judging by the size of her breasts, I think you are absolutely right
You have better eyes than me. All I can see is her ass.
Methinks her problem is being overly top-heavy. Her chest keeps her from standing up straight, so grabity makes her topple over. A search of her name provides links to sites such as “boubs popped out” and so on.
Well, at least she’s famous for something, just not grace, charm or singing ability.
Interesting theory. I wish I could see a mid-section-heavy-man do the same thing.
Bad idea Fluffy that position would expose unsightly plumbers crack.
She looks like she assumes the “face down, ass up” position regularly… and had the tramp stamp to prove it.
Wasnt this slut in Playboy?
Quick tape over her!!!
They already did. That’s why there’s only a still photograph.
Did she die? x’D
http://24ur.com/ekskluziv/tuja-scena/foto-spektakularen-padec-nives-celzijus.html
Here’s a link if you wanna see her get up
Apologies if this should be obvious, or if it’s some in joke, but whats with all the did they die comments?
That is a comfortable new way to identify idiots. People who ask that are. Why they do it –
…Because it takes more brainpower than they have to come up with an original, interesting comment?
Or because they have seen that it bothered us?
Give the man with the Jack Johnson avatar the gold star.
The “who” avatar??
Never heard of him.
PLLLBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
*wipes face with handkerchief*
Do you mind?
*shamwows BFF*
*giggles, enjoying the show*
For any who are interested, I put some of my music on a myspace page. More to come as I find them on my drives.
clickie
That IS your stuff? Weird! I like it a lot. I’m hearing movie soundtracks. That’s where you are going with this, right?
Ummmm – Sure! I get paid, right?
Hey *mufflemuffle* watch where *muffle* you’re put-*mufflemufflemuffle*ting that thing!
Complaints, complaints, all day long… Now clean up your room! And have you done your homework yet? Hurry, aunt Madeleine will be here shortly and you know that she wants you to kiss her, despite her hairy warts!
Wow, look at BFF go!
(out the window!!!)
You’ll never take me aliiiiiiiveeee….
She looks doable in that position.
Another one where someone trips and falls! These never get old.
>_>
OMG DIE IT DIED???
did her friends die too?
sadly no 1 died:( internet drama v22
i think shes working there. she did not fall.
I think I’ll just take a little nap.
*facecarpet*
*snore*
*Covers IUL with a soft blanket*
*places pillow under head, so she does not get carpet wrinkles on her cheeks*
Nitey, nite, sweetie!
*plays soothing ocean sounds on cd player*
*hangs “do not disturb” sign*
*opposes the death penalty, even for a sign*
Hey Judy, I’ve got a clickie that you need to see! It’s completely work safe, and will have you falling out of your chair. But you have to read the comments to really get the full effect of it.
GREAT clickie, and I don’t even like grilled cheese. You’d think that would make me more popular…
*sigh*
I didn’t think there was a man on the planet who didn’t like a grilled cheese sandwich!
I didn’t either.
What’s with all the staring? I DO like making a grilled cheese for others! I never get the opportunity, but that’s just me.
That being said, will some of you listen to my weird music? Clickie.
I don’t have the right version of flash to do so, and my computer for some reason won’t support the version I need.
Hmmm. I posted mp3s. Did I mention that myspace sucks?
Whoa.. you have stunned me, Neener. I honestly didn’t think a man like you exists.
Are we talking cheese, or music?
Cheese…
OK, but did you like the music?
Maybe you should get a shirt that announces it…
*orders Neener a “I don’t even like grilled cheese.” shirt*
If that’ll make me more popular, then let’s do it. Large please.
I am thinking a black t-shirt with a floating image of a giant – cheese dripping sandwhich close to some pretty pink lips – then the red circle w/ a line through it. The words will go in the back.
Avis, that was priceless! I’ll have to show that to my sisters. The funniest part (or is it the saddes?) were the folks that thought she was actually talking about grilled cheese sandwiches!
Thanks for sharing!
I thought you would get a kick out of it! I plan on using this euphemism from now on.
I read the brackets [grilled cheese sandwhich] in different more machine like tone. Very funny. I wish other people could hear the voices in my head
The same computer/automated voice you hear when you call information and they “read” off the number to you? That voice is programed into my phone, it calls out the numbers as I dial them.
*has pleasant dreams about walking a red carpet*
I bet the person taking the photo was like “SWEET! I got it!!!” and then ran off laughing
tehe I wish it had been me.
LoL
I couldn’t help but notice that SOMEONE left their duct tape behind. Was this a planned trip?
I think the duct tape fell out of her shirt. Someone in Hollywood told her to use duct tape to keep her boobs where they belong, see, and she didn’t quite understand the concept.
That’s the thing ’bout narcolepsy, it always strikes at the worst possible t………………
*snore*
Here we go again!
*tucks pillow under Afraid’s head*
*puts ocean sounds cd in the player*
*tiptoes away*
Ooops! Almost forgot….
*comes back, leaves a light on*
*leads 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division brass band past Afraid*
Whoops, sorry! Didn’t notice you there.
*glares at BFF*
Typical!
Ahh…
*is soothed by ocean sounds and lack of darkness*
*wakes up abrubtly*
Damn, did I miss the cake?
video video video!
I’d do her again.
Wait… You mean this ISN’T Lindsay Lohan?
Unless she’s changed her name to Nives Celzijus and has taken residence in Croatia, then no, I don’t think it is her.
^ ouch!
Not gonna lie- it’s a double fail if you add in the fact that she has a MASSIVE tramp stamp.
LMAO. awhh. who is thattt ? x
Step 1: Look at fail
Step 2: Look slightly below fail
Step 3: Safety.
Step 4: Note Nives Celzijus failed is written.
Step 5: Recognise Nives Celzijus is the failer.
Comment # 300!
Er, 301.
This is so family guy hahaha.
Im not sure, I dont remember the Simpsons doing this joke yet, unless family guy has gotten original on us.
I’ll bet no one helped her either. lol.
Hey, why don’t we get a chatango set up here or something instead of ridiculously long irrelevant comments?
Thank you Buzz Killington. Frankly, If you don’t like what happens here you needn’t read this.
So today I drove in the car with 2 babies for 6 hours – and I had a massive headache! I stayed at a McDonalds for over an hour while trying to recover. All of this was after my brother in law had his spinal fluid…
Looks like her energy drink wore off
ITs under 9000!
Am I the only one who thinks she has to have been walking sideways on the red carpet for this to have happened?
humm that is a nice theory
idk, heels have a mind of their own sometimes…
Even when the wearer doesn’t. (has checked some of the links on this person, and wow.)
Guess she wanted to munch on some carpet?
Miley Cyrus!?
I think yes?
is that miley cyrus?
OMG!!
Welp, that proves it… she was not Superman… *owes someone $10*
*pockets money*
Nice doin’ business with you, sir!
*grumbles but squeezes anyway*
You steal my money because you know I am a fool!
Want to place a bet on the Penguins/RedWings hockey final?
How long have we been lurking together, Judy?
*squeezes friends*
Just got back, Admiral. Didn’t see any familiar names on, so I went to visit ICHC
Commented 5 times, all are in what seems to be permanent moderation. Don’t know why.
I made a comment, too!! It’s also awaiting moderation.
*pout*
Strange…I was able to comment…
*tries really, really hard not to sound smug about it* :p
It’s hard to be smug when you’re covered in exploding dye.
*steals back rings, runsawayextrafast*
Heehee!!!
She obviously didn’t know that exploding dye doesn’t stick to dragons. AND she took the fakes I used as bait for her!
Mwuaahahahaaa…
Are you sure about those fakes? I just had the ones I took appraised and got all this Nigerian currency in exchange!
So there, nyah.
Ummm….dang. Yup. You got the better of me again. You did. Way to go, you! Now you take all that lovely Nigerian currency and treat yourself to…um…a pack of gum.
And…what’s that you’re hiding behind your back??
Byeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
What is the speed of foom, anyway?
Ask Ms B. She should be able to tell you.
Ummm, too fast…I’m getting stubble now! See! It’s all fuzzy!
Wow! Cats run so fast, they don’t even have time for spaces between the words!
You have to pretend you hear the cartoon scrambly-feet sound effect. (click my name)
Also the dustcloud after I exit, stage left.
Ah! I see! Very nice.
Please let the other cheezpeeps know that some of the friendly failbloggers have tried to visit, but we’re being thwarted by the moderation system. I blame Arthur.
*repeats as she writes message down*
“…wire the governor and tell him I said ‘OW!’”
Got it!
So do I.
*snorkroffle!*
Thanks for delivering the message. :p
There’s one coming your way soon, too, babe!
Looking forward to it!
That because you brought them cheesecake.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the messages eventually show up. Somebody said that your first post will get moderated, but thereafter you’ll be able to comment without the automatic filtering. I posted something on “seats…new birdfeeder”, but the comment never showed up. I guess I keep trying until that first one gets in the door.
The only thing all of my comments had in common was my name – “Judy, the friendly, visiting failblogger”.
*sigh*
Can’t ima gine what triggered it.
hmmm – maybe its sounded creepy like “Judy, the trusty, snake-oil sales rep.”
She’s Blunder Woman.
Shall we try this again??
*ahem*
*POUNCE!!!*
*SMOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!*
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
aaaaaand you lose the game
hahahahah ona pala..glupa žena haha :p
can i ask if thats tila tequila?
you are a noob
Some plastic surgeon’s daughter is getting a new pony.
Where’s her underwear?
Under there.
under where?
She just heard the song Carpet Crawlers by Genesis and decided to test what it was like…
I wonder if they aired this on Greek TV if they would be yelling OPA, OPA, OPA, as she twisted and fail?
Now that’s a proper faceplant
She FAILED down, all right.
She wants sex no?
When Jim’s wife places her ear to the carpet she claims she can hear a celebrity from as far away as a mile.
Maybe it was a kidnap attempt. There’s a lot of duck tape around….
She got pwned because her heels are too high.
Yeah, wow, that hurts.
Did she die?
Yes.
TILAAAA IM JAY TILAAA YEY :O TILAAA IM GAY (E)
High heels win
She’s alive, and her name’s nives celzius, a very stupid croatian person xD
Stupid or not shes got an awesome pair of boobs
quite a spectacular fall.
it’s like a febreze ad…
say you like eating red carpet!!
lol
That tattoo on her lower back… Its an ancient chinese marital arts symbol. It means the mark of the whore.
I can hear the subway!
i’d tap that
So funny
All-coke-no-food diet FAIL
nice. trampstamp.
Nice tramp stamp…
she dead?
Her B(.)(.)bs prolly softened the fall. She is Nives Celzijus by the way. Google her.
was looking for this. thanks
Photographer Win!!!
If only that were miley cyrus, with a bullet hole through her thick head.
It’s obviously a woman trying to check that the carpet and whatever else is out to the side are aligned as designed….Eyeball close to the ground, rest of body in whatever position helps sighting down the line… Not really a fail if that’s the case, except perhaps with regard to misrepresentation for “fail” appeal…
Did she die?
What the eff she’s laying next to gaff tape.
That grip is gonna get fired.
Gotta be Miley Cyrus….gotta be.
The problem is, that bitch recently really won the prize for the best selling book in Croatia. Like bitch, like book, like nation.
yeah, she’s an ex playboy girl, stupid, but i wouldn’t mind…
Whole series:
http://www.index.hr/xmag/clanak/nives-celzijus-se-razbila-kao-kruska-jesu-li-krive-visoke-pete-ili–sila-teza/436467.aspx
Is that Paula Abdul?
Is it just me or that tramp stamp an arrow?
Hahaha, to je Nives hahaha… Totalni FAIL!!!
i have heard of eating carpet but that takes the piss
ouch!
Go Croatia!
I’m so proud…