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Super slides?
Very slick of you to notice.
Very smooth of you to post so quickly.
She glides-in so nicely…
It’s a goal.
did he dead?
Nice grammar bud, i am assuming you actually are a monkey considering your grammar and of your questioning if this guy died.
Well, like they say, given enough monkeys, they are bound to type something coherent… apparently previous monkey was not so sly…
did he die?
yes…
I hate girls think everything hurts so much…
Must be a bi-coastal game.
Ah! Like canal cruising
*deletes extra C from the Doc’s comment*
*snorkroffle!*
canal ruising?
I don’t think you’ve got the hang of this.
I don’t think I’d want the hang of that.
Hi Velvet!
I thought it was a slapstick comedy.
I think it was a blind(side) pass.
That just goes to show that the referees aren’t perfect; they don’t walk on water.
…or on ice either.
SlapSHOT comedy!
Slipshod footwork.
Very strange of you to reply to the air.
I was replying to fluffy. *tweaks nose*
Strange, but…your comment nested at first under “Funny Guy”.
This site does do some odd nesting things. Even with all of the upgrades.
.
Sometimes I have to follow the lines up to see who is replying to whom. On my home computer, the screen does the posts in alternating colors (white and light blue). I can’t get my screen here to do that.
Ah, here it’s only white and little-less-white.
Anyway, Funny Guy must have gotten himself blocked from the fail already.
Or the booze wore off and sleepiness kicked in.
I guess he did. I could see his foolishness at first, but it’s gone now.
Oh, thank gawd. Emily to the rescue once again!
Woo hoo!! Thank you Emily!!!
Your home screen has higher contrast, which is why you can see the different colours.
OMG did he die?
is he died?
Did he spunk?
Job Requirements:
1) knowledge of rules of Hockey
2) able to stand for several hours
Desired but not Required
1) Ability to ice skate
LOL freaky! I love it!
No, but I did last year. It’s not half bad.
And no. I am not Jebus.
hello everyone! how is your day going???
Good and yours?.
it would be perfect if i only had some coffee…
Hello! What happened to your giraffe?
The. Giraffe. Was. Never. Supposed. To. Happen.
got it?
*Stares deep and hard into gaynorvater & Patricia the calfs eyes*
*blushes* i feel really stupid for asking, but…*sigh* i better get on with it…ok here goes…how do you put a link in your name? *blushes* you know, a clickie??? *hangs head in embarrasment*
The place that says “website” right under your name and email.
*WHOOOOPMM* (big breath in) *WOOOOOOOO* (big sigh of relief)
thank you sooooooo much!!!!
clickie!!
it is soooooo useful when you are bored out of your mind!
NOOOO!! I spend too much time on runescape as it is…. *sob*
oh my squish!!! OH MY SQUISH!!!!! OH. MY. SQUISH.!!!!!!!!
I. WANT. TO. BE. FIRST. SOOO. BAD.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont even know why… *sobs quietly in confusion*
I promise i wont yell first…
(wow i need a hug)
this is probably because no coffee+ late at night= weird emotions.
*sits quietly while lower lip trembles*
He lost his edge.
Hmmm, what’s this?
*OUCH!*
… found it.
No, no. Hold it from the other side.
.
And when he stutter-steps but doesn’t fall, that’s called scotching.
Can one scootch while scotching?
Yes, they usually do scootch while scotching. If you don’t scootch while scotching, you’ll most definitely lose your edge.
Scotch anyone?
I am, and yes, please.
I’m not…can I have some anyway?
“Scotty, we’ll need everything you’ve got!”
Oh, I just want one…but I want the best, smoothest there is.
One Gerard Butler, please.
Can one be too young to really appreciate a good scotch?
He’s doing voice work for the computer-animated feature How to Train Your Dragon based on the Cressida Cowell children’s book of the same name.
THAT…is a hilarious coincidence…I had no idea!
*chuckles*
DILLY!!!! Long time no see!!!
Nice to see you too, fluffykins!
Hey, Dilly! How have you been?
Not bad, working on lots of random projects and looking at grad schools. Tonight it’s Black & Tans and HBO, though.
Are you thinking of staying near the Philly area?
*squeeze*
Aww. *squeeze* (Unless that was a cream cheese packet joke) (No, *squeeze* anyway) I’m looking at Temple and a dozen other places, it would be great to stay but sometimes a whole new city and life can be a good thing!
Hee, nope!
*knows that that cream cheese doesn’t come from Philly*
*doesn’t even squeeze mustard on his soft pretzels*
Mmmmm…soft pretzels…
I miss those!
People eat them for BREAKFAST around here!
*has eaten a soft pretzel for breakfast*
I guess I can’t judge, I had coffee and gummi bears soaked in vodka for breakfast this morning.
*starts to turn green*
You guys must have cast iron stomachs.
Nah, adamantium.
♫ Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside ♫
Put on a little makeup, makeup, make sure they get my good side, good side!
If he slides into the net does it count as a goal?
For which team?
The referees beat the players 3:1.
Failblog’s team.
The F Team.
I don’t think we should put fluffy in net.
Yeah, not a good idea.
By the way, who’s captain? Admiral? Or is that too much of a demotion?
I’ll be the puck(er). *braces*
There action gets exciting around the crease.
*looks at editing disaster*
I don’t remember what I was going for there.
Their, their… It’s ok…
I see what you did they’re.
I think I was going for “The” in the end, but mangled editing a previous construction. *shrugs*
You definitely *checked* it in that re-guard!
We don’t win all that often, but we have a blast while it lasts!
Are you saying that we fail to win?
On occasion.
The biggest fail (aside from the obvious) here today is that green puking thing for sale as a father’s day gift. Ewwww.
I know what you’re talking about, but I STILL can’t figure out what the *ahem* it’s supposed to be!
And it was here yesterday too. Ick!
Without risking the cookies and spam associated with clicking the website, I think you squeeze the green thing and it pukes out the yellow stuff.
.
:ill:
:sick:
:yuck:
I’m still waiting for the “smiley” that denotes any of those expressions.
I keep trying. I’m hoping one day it’ll show up on one of those.
Hi, guys! Finally made it. Sorry I missed breakfast with the lolcats. This place is driving me crazy today. I agree with you about the creepy green thing. Reminds me way too much of pickle surprise.
Ummmm, do we want to know what a pickle surprise is? Eating too many pickles and having them rejected?
That would be the good kind of pickle surprise. The other kind always either starts or end with prison…..
elsa_mama, no. It’s not. You can google it or look it up on YouTube, but I wouldn’t, it’s a wee bit disturbing.
I suspected as much – just call me naive
So was I – at first. And then I clickied.
Whoever made that video was probably responsible for the birth of the phrase, “What has been seen, cannot be unseen.”
OK…. then I will be sure to not see!! LOL
I’ve been scarred for life by that clickie….
Thanks Dragon, now I’ll have nightmares tonight.
Goodnight all!
Have sweet dreams, Brewski, not sour thoughts. ‘Nite.
it is a mustard squirter it is only two inches tall. there is also a head that squirts ketchup out its nose. :\
Woo hoo!! Congrats AJA on powering this slippery fail!!
You are honoured with an Anti-spunk badge. No spunks from now on.
Yay for Aja! I was wondering when this one would make it to the front page.
*confetti*
Where is Aja?
*shrugs* somewhere in Europe?
I want to say Spain, but that seems wrong somehow.
*checks the map
*
Nijmegen … umm in the Netherlands.
How many put markers on the map, aiki?
*goes to check it out*
aiki, sent you an email from your web page… please read, thanks!!
Don’t worry. I got it.
I actually edited everyones just for privacy.
About 16 right now. Most of the regulars.
Am I on this map? And tell me again how to see it, please.
You have to register, and click on the “Where are we” link on the left. Then, you place a marker for where you are.
And just use the zip code, not the actual address part. It’ll still work.
To view it you don’t need to login (I changed that yesterday) but to place a marker you do. It’s just so that I don’t get troll spam on the map.
I’ll have to do that a bit later. My computer doesn’t really like to switch from site to site with anything resembling speed. I know, I know, I need to buy more memory and a new operating system. That is gonna take some time.
I’m still waiting for my confirmation email so I can log in and put up my marker
Check your junk folder cuddles. That’s where I found mine.
I just put up mine!
Do I have to give my real name?
Whee!
The guest of honor has arrived! Congrats Aja!
I’m amazed at how many here are across the pond! How wonderful!
I did the icon wrong. I have a nice green box instead.
Meh!
Me and you both jam. Green icon on Maple. Anyone wants info on Canada’s Wonderland, well I live across the street from it.
No, you have a terra cotta balloon, jam. The one in Louisiana with nobody’s name is a green box. Who is that, Aiki?
I don’t actually have a name for that one. I may send an email and see if I can put a user name to it.
I finally got around to doing one today. I figured you guys could survive just knowing what city I live in.
You did a great job, aiki. Thanks for working on it!
Hey, wait a minute! No one can see me on the map – Jules is on top of me!
*struggles to reach hand out from under Jules’ rump*
*waves*
I’m here! I’m here!
*raises eyebrow*
Are you gonna clean this up?
-
…and yes, Congrats Aja.
No, I am.
*sighs and fetches the ShamWows and broom*
Oh, and congratulations, Aja!
oooh, a new avatar. I didn’t recognize you.
Congrats!
I just wish they had picked a quote that better matched the video.
You all spunk.
Im sorry thats not true, I love you all.
What?
Your message doesn’t show anything but “You”.
CONGRATULATIONS! AJA!
Yay Aja!
*throws confetti*
*raises eybrow again* …and who is going to clean up this mess? I see you don’t like fresh cheese Ms B.
I thought we could just leave it. It looks nice with the decor! I got matching colors!
I don’t like to have to work for my food though.
As long as it matches…
Aja has the powwwwwwerrrrrrr!
*squeeze*
♫ He’s got the power… ♫
Congrats!!
*decides to drink Aja’s share of booze as well, since he’s not showing up*
*shakes fist at Arthur*
Grrr!
Oops. Here Aja, have a caipirinha. I made it myself and in my time I was known to make amazing caipis.
*passes*
Whee²!
*gives Aja some cubes for his drink*
Hey — I am not sure if you guys post personal type stuff — but since we are all being inclusive here goes — As the people at lolcatz know, my 14 years old sone a leukemia (AML) and is waiting for a bone marrow transplant. We are in the US, but his potential matches are in Germany. So, clearly the Bone Marrow Donor Registry needz to be bigger. There is a free on line bone marrow drive promotion is from June 8th through the 22nd. There is limited funding so don’t wait!Sign up asap. Please send out a request to everyone you know.
Join the Be The Match RegistrySM online at h t t p://w w w.marrow.org/JOIN (eliminate the spaces) Use Promo Code: HFHMichigan
Sorry to hear that. My best wishes to you and your son!
Bone marrow — the one transplant you can give while you still live!
Good luck!
(Can’t stop my smartassness: Kidneys.)
Oh, NEVER stop the smartassness!
(Part of the liver, too!)
Best of luck, {{elsa_mama}}!
Okay, in that case: Admiral – crushed ice!
I handed him the cubes for the pun…you can crush ‘em.
If I was female or gay I’d have a crush on you! And Dragon would FOOOOM! me to death…
Mwuaaahahahahahaaaaa….
*ahem*
I mean…who ME??
*wide-eyed innocent look*
Innocent looks aren’t credible when you drool lava. Just sayin’.
Dang. That never works for me.
*pouts*
Hehe! Thanks, Arthur…I’m flattered!
*SQUEEZES*
*smooches Dragon’s innocent-looking face*
I could never resist that one.
*manages to stay left of the Admiral and not in between him and Dragon*
*SQUEEZE*
*off*
Some of us can provide spleen on occasion.
Depends on our humour.
I thought that was called “venting” your spleen, not donating it ….
I thought that was “venting” your spleen ….
#%^$ rassin figgin double posters — what is their problem anyway!!!
*snorkity*
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don’t let show
Lien on me, when you’re not strong…
Lien? As in a form of security interest granted over an item of property to secure the payment of a debt or performance of some other obligation?
No. Keep trying.
Why is it that you are so sarcastic with me whenever I ask a simple serious question. What I don’t deserve any respect, am I less than human? This is getting really tiresome.
You don’t get it, do you? Well, you weren’t here in the early days.
When a joke *whoooosh!*es over someone’s head, that person gets poked and teased. Look around…you are not the only one who get teased when they don’t get a joke. You just have the misfortune to not get a lot of our jokes, and you constantly reply to us in ways that prove you missed it.
I don’t explain ‘em.
That too.
Thanks, Dragon.
But if I am asking for an explanation so that I may understand, why don’t I get one. So I can continue being ignorant. What I responded was a google search. I understand the need to poke fun, yes, but after that could I get an explanation?
yea yea yea — as soon as I hit “Add Comment” I went DOH — that’s not right! But it is the only transplant you can give and the donated part replaces itself!! (right — humand do not regenerate do they — I know the soldiers guys on XBox “respawn” but that is just wierd — as i always tell my son)
Actually the liver regenerates, which is why you can give a piece. The donor liver will regrow the missing piece, and the donated piece will also grow into a new liver. The human body is an amazing thing. I’ll make sure I check that site out.
You can donate bronchioles from your lungs, they also grow back.
This is a very educated and educational blog! I am impressed. Donate bronchioles — fascinating!!
Hey everybody, registering on that site is pretty easy. It took me about 10 minutes, because I have ADD. I think you can only register if you live in the US or Puerto Rico though.
They will mail you the kit and then you swab the inside of your cheek – 4 swabs, on for each corner (top r and l bottom r and l) and then you send it back. Presto – your DNA is entered into the registry and you may be able to save someone’s life!!
Well – technically you can donate a kidney or part of some other organs… but message understood.
I signed up years and years ago. Do they keep their old records, or do they purge their files every now and then?
I don’t know why they would take it out. But do not know for sure either way.
**CORRECTION** Bone Marrow (actually stem cells) one of the many transplants you can give and still live!!!!
live and learn …
{{{elsa_mama}}}
We do post personal stuff here, elsa_mama. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you find a match soon.
{{{elsa_mama}}}
It did get kinda personal yesterday when most posted their pics.
Then of course everything is back to normal today.
Hmmm – I guess “normal” has a fluid definition …
Most definitely.
Sorry about your son {{{{elsa_mama}}}}. Hope you find a closer match and soon. Would also like to say that God bless the donors as I know that is the most painful donation.
Actually — they can now get the stem cells by filtering the blood – similar to donating platelets. So, not so painful.
Evenwhen they do gather the bone marrow itself to get the stem cells it is not so bad – I am told. You are sedated and then may have a back ache for a couple of days. That is what my son usually has when they do a bonemarrow draw on him.
Really, I have seen some of the draws done before on tv. I don’t know why I put myself through it. The person, a grown man actually had a local freeze and was donating to his kid. Well he was screaming in pain and asking for his wife’s hand. Just an out of the blue question, but why is it that you or the father are not matches?
It’s common for a parent not to be a close enough match for a donation. My mother couldn’t donate for me if I needed it. Her blood type is negative, while mine is positive.
The most likely person to be a match is a full sibling, and then there is only a 25% chance. The match is more involved than blood type – they match 8 -10 DNA allelles (sp?). Matches tend to run along ethnic lines (both my family and my ex’s family are German – which explains the matches in Germany).
Matt’s sister was not a match. Neither were me or his Dad. Parents and other family members are no more likely to be a match than non family members.
I think TV shows tend to make things look worse than they are. If they do not use the blood filtering method, you are sedated during the procedure and yes, you will have back pain for a couple of days. But without a bone marrow transplant my son will die. So, I am glad that there are many many people who think the inconvience and pain is worth sharing.
Minorities and mixed race people are seriously needed on the bone marrow donor registry. I have heard that it gets harder to find a match for mixed race people – so there is big push to get as many signed up as possible.
I’ll get my family to register, we’re mostly of german descent. I would, but I can’t (clickie for more on that story- ongoing). But there are a lot of my family running around, so I’ll see how many I can get to sign up.
Hey there fellow Chiccagoan!! Well, I am in a suburb … but hey close enough! Thank you so very very much!! The world can be saved by the kindness of strangers.
Hi all, I read failblog every day lurking in the shadows and have never posted before but this post I felt complied to reply.
I have been a bone marrow donor (for my brother) and the procedure didn’t hurt at all for me. For the actual marrow removal I was under general aesthetic so didn’t feel an thing. After the op my back was a bit sore for a week but that’s it. They may not risk general aesthetic on adults (i was still a teenager at the time) but don’t let the idea of pain be a deterrent as hospitals have lots of drugs to combat this
I will check this out, elsa_mama. All the best to you and your son.
Emp, from my understanding, it USED to be the most painful donation, but not any more.
*Squeezes* Elsa_mama and *squeezes* Elsa_mama’s son. I’m going to that website now.
Spare!
*snork*
Many years ago a friend roped me into being the 5th on mixed bowling team. There were two married couples and me (I was between wives at the time). The woman in the couple that I hadn’t known previously was generous endowed and both she and her husband knew it. She dressed in snug tops and he was the jealous sort. One noght early in the season she managed a rare feat, she picked up a spare. As she came bouncing back to the seats I said to her ‘Nice Spare’. Her husband overheard and interpreted what I had said as ‘Nice Pair’ and he had some harsh words and threatening offers for me should I ever look at his wife again. Bowling, not usually a contact sport.
Bowelling, sometimes a contract sport.
*racks*
*breaks!*
Erm…I think I’m gonna need a bigger cue…
*scratches*
What are we playing again?
*Knocks the 8-ball in first*
I am never good at this game. Avis I hear you are a pro, any tips?
*hits baseball with golf club*
I can’t decide which one we’re playing.
Yahtzee!
Sorry!!!
BINGO!!!
JENGA!
STRIKE!
GOAL!!!!
Turkey!
FORE!!!
Mulligan!
QUARTERS!!!
BUNCO!
It’s a game played with dice. People usually have Bunco parties where they play and get drunk.
And I believe there are prizes involved?
*looks to Brewski to corroborate Starfish’s drinking game*
Nah, never played it. It’s popular amongst women, not guys. It’s not much of a game really. I think it’s all about socializing.
I don’t think drinking is part of the game, but my mom used to come home pretty hammered from her Bunco parties (she wasn’t driving).
Alcohol isn’t mandatory. We sometimes have it, sometimes don’t. It’s a mostly social game (i.e. getting together to socialize with playing the game as an excuse). Some groups do gift-ish prizes — others do cash prizes. It’s usually played with 12 people (three tables of four people each), and there’s much switching of tables throughout the evening so everyone gets to play with everyone else.
Sounds like a swinger’s party.
j/k
TWISTER
COITS! (sorry)
Uno!!
GIN!!!
Yes please.
*twists lemon*
Just gin and lemon? No tonic?
Mind if I join you?
*brings tonic; clinks glasses* Ahhh! That hits the spot.
I don’t do gin and tonic but what the heck! Cheers!!!
oh, please cont me in! Gin is my favorite!
*thinks that abstract lucked out in the typo department today*
This cold be contagios.
Don’t sneeze on me, then.
Gin and tonic? Why of curse! Thank you!
aya, I noticed that. otherwise, I would be awating moderation. hee hee
Perhaps the Mods just had to gin and bare it!
*rents Poolhall Junkies, makes popcorn*
clicky
Popcorn!
.
NOMNOMNOM
*joins the movie crowd*
Snickers™, anyone?
If you do that on the break it’s a win.
What? I never knew that. That is awesome.
Of course if you scratch on the break, or the cue ball leaves the table you just lost the game. I am sooooo not a pro. I just used to play with people who were REALLY good and knew ALL the rules!
Ya, but I remember back at the pool hall fail where you said that you had played before. I only played on a mini table as I was younger when I had it and the pool balls didn’t weigh as much. I had to be careful to add pool in there.
One of my best friends virtually grew up in a pool hall that her father worked at, so she gives great pointers. For some odd reason I am only good at pool when I am on the verge of drunk.
I did well at pool in college … when I was drunk … and distracting my opponents by wearing low-cut tops & short skirts.
Fun times!
Cheater! Taking advantage of testosterone like that.
*waits for ns to say my eyes are up here*
Alright, to add some magic: I once played stoned and I could actually see lines how the balls would go. I only needed to adjust the cue and did the most amazing shots. True story! Happend only once, though…
I did that once, played when I could see the lines that is. Ya the Wii is good for somethings. (I have never tried any drugs)
Most drugs are really overrated.
Mind you, my hottie college days were a couple of decades ago. Now only my husband things I’m hawt. *sigh*
Except Demerol. I’m apparently a LOT of fun under the influence of Demerol.
Never had that. Chemical drugs make me nervous anyway, except for controlled hospital-situations. Then it’s more fun than it should be, considering the circumstances…
T’was a hospital situation for me, too.
You’re tons of fun without the influence of Demoral.
I once took Lortab with an energy Sobe. I’m told I was super friendly that day.
I don’t seem to remember much of it though.
I told a doctor he was a butcher once. I was still going under for my surgery and he actually started to make an incision. He had places the blade to my skin when I stopped him. I tried to yell at him but it came out as a whisper. I said, ” I am still here, what… are you…. a butch..er?” Then I woke up after what I was told was 2 hours. It is amazing how much time can pass when we are under.
I know. Just ask Zombie.
Ah, the stories I could tell… but I wouldn’t want to incriminate anybody. Especially myself.
I once cutted a sinew in my finger. In Spain. The doctor was angry, because my injury made him interrupt his lunch. So he didn’t wait for the injection to have an effect – “Finger sleep?” “No.” … “Finger sleep now?” “No.” “Ok.” (starts to operate.) “OOOOUUUCH! FINGER AWAKE FINGER AWAKE!” (Mercyless look) “Spain.” (finishes sewing).
Fun.
I’m guessing he didn’t offer refunds, either.
I didn’t even think about that. Until now! My finger is still askew…
oh, jesus!
I thought something looked awry in your photo yesterday.
*snork!*
But you have the sexiest fingers on failblog. We all saw it! The other hand, perhaps?
I was careful to cut the pic so it was invisible.
AE – a friend of mine had that happen after cutting his hand with a saw – he always says the wonky finger is great cos now he can pick his nose round the corners! (sorry)
Yeah I did say I played. I said so up there too!^^
But I never got to be particularly GOOD. I’m OK.
Ya well I deduced that you were just playing down you true talents. So I chose to believe that you are a pro. Wait dragon is good at pool too. She has her own cue, what was its name again. Baldur?
*breakdances*
*watches Beat Street*
*breaks into cha cha*
Racks? Where?
*shimmies*
Right here!
*stares*
*adverts eyes so as not to be further mesmerized*
Not this again.
*does a MJ crotch grab*
and does the grab help unmesmerize you?
It is the male equivalent to the female’s shimmy. Its from a past fail when dragon and Ms B wondered why the crotch grab was so popular.
Thanks — I appreciate the explanations — me and my ADD are some times a “bit” dense!!
Hey Emperor – I could not tell if you were really upset up (down) the thread when you asked for (and did not get0 an explanation …
I was born with the curse of asking wayyyy to many questions I guess. When I don’t get something I always ask. It is pretty much what allowed me to get an A in university calc. The teacher knew she would see me on her office hours all the time, asking for a clarification on a scenario she did not mention. So ya I was serious when I was asking, its not that I instantly ask though. I do some quick research prior, like looking it up in google and in Wiki. After that I have to ask, a nagging feeling makes me feel like I want to/must know.
You have more than one rack Ms. B? You truly are a special person!!
Sometimes I feel like it.
At least he was kind enough to help the guy he knocked down get back up.
True. He is a clumsy yet polite referee.
Being polite is the only way to make up for being clumsy. Would you yell at someone for being clumsy if they immediately apologized for what they did and started cleaning up their mess? I would start feeling like I was somehow responsible for them being clumsy…..
I know people who do that, yell at people who are naturally clumsy. They don’t usually have too many friends. Funny, that.
Those are the only kinds of people I truly cannot stand. They’re miserable, and can’t handle you not being miserable too.
… sounds like real-life trolls.
It was clearly a dive.
And photoshopped. Didn’t you see the pixels?
Clearly.
The shadows are all wrong. *headdesk*
And — there should not be such violence posted! For shame …
I’ve heard of refs favoring one team over the other, but this is out of hand!
Uncontrollable even.
Undeniably odd.
Unparalleled.
Unreal.
Unsportsmanlike.
Unbelievable
Unarguable
Unheard of.
*sprays Funny Guy with lemon juice*
*sprinkles him liberally with salt*
*runs off to play with her new friends*
The lemon juice & salt worked MUCH better than I thought they would! They erased him completely! It’s almost like “the dip” for toons in Roger Rabbit.
*considers getting a patent*
Yay for the all-powerful Emily!!!
Double yay, she cleaned up good.
Emily?
The admin mod for this site. She’s a hoot, and she takes good care of us!
Oh – is Emily one of the mods here? If so, YAY, Emily from me, too!
Is she not a mod for all the sites? I only write to her about trolls here, but I thought she’d help with all the others, too.
I don’t know the ICHC mods’ real names, come to think of it. In their dealings with us, they refer to themselves as “cheez” and “tofu.” They totally rock too, though.
There’s no need to!
*squeezie!*
*excuses Arthur for using a non-word like “YAY”*
*pinches ZA*
*accidentally rips out a part*
*stuffs it back in*
Ew!
Didn’t hurt!
Understandable angle.
What a LOL!
Give a try on this great game: tytytypp.mybrute.com
It’s amazing!
Or this one:
donotspamandgetalife.com
awwww my brute died almost instantly
He’s like those flies that live only for one day. Pops in the fail, lays his egg, dies.
Wuss…
I trust those of you who have sound to go along with this heard the commentary of the videographer? At least I think that’s who says it.
I couldn’t really hear what the guy was saying. What was the insightful commentary?
He was saying he injured the goalie. That is what I got from it.
It’s a girl/woman (young in any case) and she says “fart” the same way we might say “crap” or “sh!t”.
Oh, I thought she said *quietly* he’s *then loudly* hurt.
It’s at the 16 second mark. And seems really close to the camera.
Ya I heard it, I just couldn’t discern it.
this is old. give us some new stuff!
As to cut off the eventuality, no he didn’t die.
I don’t really think this is gonna stop them. But, we’ll see.
Precaution is precaution. Also I didn’t want you to be stuck with that job all the time as you did save us on a previous fail. Thank you by the way.
You’re welcome, but in that one he really DID die, so it made sense to point it out…. I’m not so sure the same logic applies here.
.
.
Did I just attempt to apply logic to a troll?
I need more caffeine.
*gives Avis a carafe of freshly brewed coffee* Maybe this will help?
*currently drinking a 1 liter (that’s how it’s spelled on the lable) of Dr. Pepper*
I don’t think those two would go so well together.
Or possibly even on the LABEL. Grrrr!
So Dr. Pepper must be an American company. I think us Canadian’s and other bondfandians(Brits) spell it litre.
No…no…they wouldn’t. Take the espresso beans w/chocolate being offered down there then. It’s your best bet … mmmmmaybe.
A small note of little interest, espresso has less caffeine than a regular city roast coffee. Much more flavor but less kick. Roasting burns off caffeine.
Ah, but my parents do not buy the slow/medium roast bean. They like it to have tons of kick.
Caffeine-kick? Or tastebud-kick?
Its a shocker to both actually, more flavo(u)r and more caffeine.
Oh my gosh. You just reminded me. My parents recently purchased an espresso machine; a Gaggia at that.
*Quickly sets up virtual espresso machine.*
I can make you guys lates, cappucinos, espressos, and keeping with our FailBlog standard, specialty coffees.
I don’t care what it is just make it strong.
One short espresso coming up.
Just be sure not to gulp it, its hot.
*hands over short espresso*
Thank you.
*drinks espresso*
*bounces all over the room*
BOING!
BOING!
BOING!
*mistakenly sips espresso, thinking it’s hot chocolate*
*explodes*
If you explode, who then will clean up this mess?
*throws Leila a box of ShamWows*
Thanks Ms B. *puts on bedazzled gloves adorned with feathers and mutters to herself as she starts cleaning* BFF just had to explode right here. Why? Now I am left to clean up this mess.
Location location location!
*points ZA to a heap of BFF remains*
There’s more right over there. Buon apettito!
Woah, that was some sort of weird express-espresso reverse haxored with googley-eye twist.
What is a haxored?
I don’t know for sure.
That smile is a haxored?
:haxored:
Guess not.
Ah, that’s okay…
*tickle!*
Haxored
The smilies in order from smiley to crying. A quick tickle and makes a LOL at the end.
*hands down an and*
Thanks. Jam I wanted to ask you, “DO YOU HAVE THE POWERRRRR!”?
No that was Aja.
That is the worst Haxored I have ever seen. You guys need practice!
I tried Arthur. I tried!
You and Brewski did well, but the others… tsktsk.
I didn’t know, I didn’t know.
*starts rocking back and forth*
*cries*
To my defense, this is the first time I’ve really paid attention to the word. *joins emperor, sits and rocks back and forth*
*sits beside them, rocks back and forth*
Hey, that’s fun!
*sees that he is not alone*
*stops crying*
*starts actually enjoying the rocking back and forth*
*joins the rockers*
*starts humming a Neil Diamond song*
*also joins rockers, hums Beatles song*hm hm hm hmm hmmm
♪ Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm ♪
The goalie and referee were crash test dummies?
The goalie forgot to shuffle his feet.
I’ll have a coffee with Jamieson, hold the coffee.
I’ll have Jameson.
*holds Jenna*
*holds Brewski but is afraid will catch something*
*holds Leila*
*takes note that Leila knows who Jenna Jameson is*
I’m pretty sure there’s only one person here who won’t know who she is. The same individual who didn’t know I am a woman.
*snork* Wait, you are a woman?
abstract didn’t even know that I am a woman. I am … I checked this morning.
-
Brewski, everyone knows the skank Jenna.
Avis, why is this such a huge deal for you? It’s not like it’s the first time it’s ever happened, nor the last.
Yeah Avis, listen to what this Dragon-guy has to say. He’s right!
I think it is the particular person rather than the situation that really irked her. Considering she told the person 2 times prior to yesterday. (I hope I am not overstepping here) Am I close though?
I don’t know, maybe because I told him a few times and I… Oh, I don’t know.
*boops Arthur’s nose*
Cheeky.
*squeezy*
Whoa Leila, cmon too much info.
Actually, I’m not sure I know what she looks like, but I know the name. All those girls look the same. Kinda plastic and scary. Flat chested is way way better than silicone Goodyear Blimps.
*prefers naturally curvy girls*
Damn straight.
*dangerous curves ahead…!*
*No realistic preferences at all actually*
*holds on tight and runs Emp off the road*
Arthur, you should watch the documentaries about the industry. They’re too funny! And they do all look alike.
And the men all look icky. Way icky.
Must refresh… Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to get in between you two there.
Do you wait for the happy end?
He fixes the cable?
*snork*
I thought about marriage and all that.
One word.
XXXenophile.
‘Nuff said.
Not an expert — but I’ve seen enough to know the girls (women?) all look the same — bloated body arts and all, an the men are all, disgusting! Whats with that?
The men are only there because they have some sizeable assets. That’s it! I wish they would be good looking too.
Do you still have that one in your collection, Dragon?
I know you’re a big fan of Phil Foglios’ Girl Genius. Do you collect all his works?
Yup!
Hands over Jamieson’s 1780 12yr irish whiskey. Hands over coffee in a cup as well. Just in case you change your mind. Irish coffees are always fun to make.
Thanks Emperor. I prefer to make an Irish drunk over an Irish coffee.
*sips the wonderful whiskey*
YUM
Hello dilettante. Welcome back.
Thanks! (Pass that Jameson’s please please)
Here you are.
*hands over the Jamesons*
Careful now, you can’t operate a Zorb after you are finished with that.
Hee! I can always operate a Zorb.
But you let it roll all over you when you’re tanked!
‘s true, it runs amok with my feelings. But I am a bloody Zorb commander, and it’ll get whipped into shape. If…if it ever comes home…*cries*
There, there…
*pat pat pat*
If it makes you feel any better, I saw ghouk the other day. I told him you missed him.
For realsies? What did he say? He never calls, he never tells me stories about his grandfather…
Hmmm, Diet Coke with a slice of lime please!
One diet coke coming up.
*hands over diet coke and adds a lime garnish*
That name makes me laugh. Gaggia.
I must have set some distance record while scrolling back to read the parent comment.
*hands Avis some chocolate-covered espresso beans*
Now THAT will work!
Thanks Nightshayde! *squeeze*
*starts devouring said beans*
*backs away from Avis before she blasts into orbit*
I have a remarkably high tolerance for caffeine. If I DO have to much I just get shaky. And slightly dizzy. At that point I take one of my prescription migraine meds and attempt to sleep it off.
Too much caffeine and my heart will jump out of my chest. It’s like a meat locker in the office and now I have resorted to drinking decaf just to stay warm throughout the day.
Is hot tea (decaf) not an option? I know it gets cold in my office in the afternoon. I sometimes resort to drinking hot chocoate or hot tea. We have a coffee chain called “The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf” nearby — they sell some really yummy vanilla powder. You can make hot vanilla (rather than hot chocolate) which seems to be caffeine-free. The stuff is also really good mixed into coffee or into hot chocolate.
I am very fond of tea but it’s much easier to brew coffee it seems. I am weird cuz I only crave hot chocolate in cold seasons.
Boiled weeds…
*pleh!*
Hmmm…
*ponders*
What’s wrong with boiled weeds? Doesn’t agree with dragon’s tummy?
No…they just taste gross!
:p
Tea is great, but it’s really hard to find the good stuff. For most tea you can buy (even in specialty tea shops) I would agree with DW.
*plugs uptontea.com for really really good fresh teas of all kinds*
Recently, peppermint tea has been my decaf favourite. *sips*
It leaves the mouth all nice and tingly, and it smells like mint chocolate to boot!
omg omg omg!! I thought I was the only person in the world who hates boiled weeds! They taste ‘orrible!! I’m so glad you said that! I don’t feel like a freak now!
So what flavo(u)r do you want? I got decaf in all flavo(u)rs you can i m a g i n e.
Oolong Tea for me please. If you don’t have it, chai tea. If you don’t have it, Earl Grey. If you don’t have it…forget it.
Why does everyone write i m a g i n e like that? Is it blocked?
Ya, im a g those 4 letter will get you moderated.
There is one advantage to lolspeak. You can spell things like “imaj” in ways that the computer doesn’t quite intercept.
*waits to see if this comment gets moderated*
Imägine all the people…
Honestly, Arthur, that umlaut thingy was a stroke of genius.
frotting:
Rubbing one’s crotch against unexpecting people, furniture or walls. A favourite of sex-starved Japanese businessmen on the sub-way.
Um…
Thanks for sharing?
NO THANKS! DEFINTE NO THANKS!
*gets out gargantuan cannon and blasts yermonstertrucks away*
*collects assorted pieces of yermonstertrucks and tossed them into the Sun*
I didn’t even need a shamwow for that one.
No! You used the present and past tense at the same time!
*universe implodes*
Easy killer, S and D are right next to each other and my plague ridden fingers aren’t working right. I meant present tense the whole time, so the universe is fine.
*hands BFF a popsicle*
*snatches popsicle and flees*
*bursts into tears and runs out of room*
Are you screaming? It isn’t really a Failday if you don’t run out of the room screaming at LEAST once…!
Oh, all right.
*screams at top of voice and sprints out of room*
*hands Bf a box of Fun Pops*
For those of you who don’t know what a fun pop is, they’re the popsicles that don’t have a stick. Instead they come in a plastic sleeve. You cut the top off the sleeve and push them up as you eat. They remind me of childhood and summer…..
We still have those in the UK. They’re very popular in the summer.
Otter Pops! Childhood and summers indeed!
Good morning, Failbloggers (or afternoon, if you’re into that at this hour).
Is the last fail of the day always a video?
*curses work for blocking youtube*
Yes, except for Fridays.
*squeeze*
Howdy, nightshayde!
*cheez-squeeze*
Usually…Yes.
Except on Fridays and weekends or Holidays, yes.
Was that a Brian Regan reference?
Um…. who?
Good eye Brian!
Hee! He’s a funny stand-up comedian.
Yeah.. umm umm good torso! I saw you doing those trunk rotations there.
If you don’t know who he is I would recommend a trip to you tube. I would start with Brian Regan pop tarts as the search.
Good evening, nightshayde. It’s 6:30 pm here in London.
*squeezes nightshayde*
and 1:30am here in perth western australia
Good heavens — it’s late. Go to bed!
i CBF im too tired tosleep
Ooops – I skipped “evening.” Good evening to those to whom it may apply!
*group squeeze*
*feels the love*
I know I said it the other day — but nice little site you have here!
Like I said before, our mal-intentioned visit turned out for the better. We gains bright minds and fun people. I REGRET NOTHING.
*charges out of the room*
*slips, falls, takes out a random person*
I love the regular visits of ICHC peeps but I still think the ‘language’ is just weird.
English isn’t my first language and it kinda messes me up to see it in that state.
What is your first language, if I may ask?
Italian…mostly mixed with English now. Sprinkle a little Arabic for good measure. Yeah, conversations are fun @ family gatherings.
Loud, I assume?
How did you know?
We Italians are always loud.
It doesn’t take multiple languages to get loud. All you need is my family.
I guess not Ms B. I am usually the one who goes around shushing everyone! I mean, I am right here, why do you have to YELL?!!??
We have to yell. There’s so many people you really can’t talk in a normal voice and be heard.
In that case I can understand why you would have to raise your voice … usually it’s maybe three people in the room and there is much yelling.
So Emperor…I will look to you to keep practicing my Italiano.
Io sono qui quando to voi trovar’mi.
Tu* not to***
Veramente? Provo a ricordare. Mille grazie.
Tu hai fatto bellisima. Pena lutima setimana ho trovato un parente che aconra habita nel Italia. Addesso quasi tutti giorni lei mi aiuta a practicare a scrivere italiano. Io pusso parlare italiano ma onni volta io non ricordo comme una parola si scrive.
LEILA: ENGLISH HERE!!!!!!
(Remeber that?
)
*hangs head low*
Sorry I am just as guilty.
コメントは英語で書いてください。
Noo, don’t get me wrong, no problem with a little non-English. Just wanted to remind Leila about something a while ago. In a playful way, hence
Tu hai dimenticato a scrivere ma per me, mi sono dimenticata a come formulare una frase in italiano.
Heeds AE’s note.
My bad.
Anche le frase. Tutti due Io sempre dementico.
Hourra pour les gens bilingues!
Hoch die Tassen!
Blimey, it’s like the Tower of Babel here!
Plz to speekin onlee prawpurr Ingerlish on dis site!
Kthxbai.
Hahahahahaha!
*squeeze*
My family is LOUD. Four brothers all with huge voices. The in-laws huddle and cringe whenthey all bet going. My mom has even been known to take cover. One of my brothers started teaching in a school with “open classrooms” – boy did he have to learn to modulate!! He could have taught the whole school from his classroom!!
My parents have eight kids, most of us are married, and there are 10 grandkids. When we all get together in one house some people are known to hide in the basement.
Yea — isn’t it great!!!
I wish I could speak Italian. My great great grandparents
came over to America way back when.
…and speaking of families, what’s with the flatulence? Just cuz we have the same blood doesn’t mean I have to be subjected to it. Go to the restroom next time please and thank you. *gets off soapbox*
We’re equal opportunity to an extent — we have also done lolfrench, lolgerman, lolnorwegian, lolitalian, and likely some other lol-languages I’m not remembering right now.
Am I perverted because I had difficulties gto get what you really meant with “lolitalian”?
Yes. :p
Yes, but we like you that way
(And what’s a “Difficulties GTO”? New car?)
Whatever Arthur wants, Arthur gets.
Shouldn’t I know about that if that was the case?
no
… or maybe you had difficulties because you’re perverted?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that …
It’s ok Leila, the lol speak bothers me too. My family is from Kentucky, so I’m accustomed to one mutant form of english. Throwing another in there just messes me up though.
*SNORK*
You can still come over and visit us — you can type regular — but I guess you still have to read lolspeak … but if you ak nicely we (some of us anyway) might respond to your comments in Regular English. Does KY English resemble LOLspeak?
I like to throw in some “Hey Ders” from time to time …
KY English….gives you more than the famous British stiff upper lip??
All this time I thought KY had other uses.
KY English…when you’d rather not make a slip of the tongue??
… or when you don’t want your words to rub someone the wrong way.
Yup you got it. {{nightshayde}}. The exceptions have been stated enough times so I won’t repeat them.
Soooo …. what’s the m.o. for dealing with annoying trolls here? I probably should have asked before spraying one down with lemon juice … but better to ask late than never at all, I suppose.
Ignoring is the first policy. If the troll proves to be fun when he is prodded, well people with huge wit badger him. Sometimes we let in to our urges and beat, shoot, spray etc the trolls.
*puts away the lemon-juice-filled super-soaker*
OK. I’ll play nicely … but that really WAS fun.
I prefer a quick trip sunward, though I try to suppress that urge. Asking for permission before you destroy the troll is a good idea too.
*will try to keep that in mind*
*always messes up that getting permission part himself*
.
It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
Oddly enough, that’s one of my mottos. Really – it is!
The trolls that are out to prove some point, and that will engage in argumentation are humiliated with logic and reason. We try to ignore the rest.
I am just too slow today.
*smooch*
I got lucky.
*smooch*
You two are just an amorous couple aren’t you? I see little ♥ and hear ♪ when you get together.
Lol…I just saw that!
It depends on the troll, really. The really bad, unfunny, annoying, idiotic ones we just ignore. But every now and then a troll comes along that is REALLY fun to play with. Usually it’s someone who thinks they are smarter than we are and has something to prove. I’ve had a lot of fun with the pseudo-intellectual type troll.
And if you get someone who is really really bad, you write an email to Emily and she *ZAP!*s them off to the edge of the earth.
I got booped last weekend. How does one reach this “Emily” of which you speak?
this one sucks! take it down. booooooooooorrrrring.
*whacks STIFF with huge mallet*
Even better.
^5 BFF!!!
*takes STIFF down with pepper spray*
Done!
Leila, why are you spraying that puddle on the floor?
Where am I supposed to spray it then? Hmmmm
*collects puddle with shamwow*
*hurls shamwow sunward*
Sorry, I’m releasing my “I feel like death” anger on the trolls today.
*welcomes Jimbo to his level of hades*
Thank you ZA, however I hope my case is a bit more temporary than yours. Hell, maybe I have Solanum, and I’ll be joining the ranks of the undead. We’ll know tomorrow.
*initially doesn’t get it*
I too hope your case is more temporary than mine, unfortunately there is no cure for rigor mortis. Trust me, it sucks donkey. 
*eventually does*
.
Oh, I was talking about the anger, not the death.
But that to shall pass
Der ist doch gekauft!!
GASP!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!
is that so?
Apparently.
A parent Leila?
Oder einfach unfähig.
Um
… I see we don’t practice what we preach eh? 
Please read all of my comments to you in the “ENGLISH HERE” thread. I wanted to remind you of another occasion a while ago.
Außerdem macht’s Spaß! Ich kann schimpfen und meckern oder sonstwas und keiner haut es mir um die Ohren!
I have to send myself to my corner for misunderstanding.
No. You’ve come a long way, in my opinion.
*agrees wholeheartedly*
LOL … well, that’s good Ms B. I would offer you something to drink, but we all know what happens when you partake.
*squeeze*
You can offer me a refill on my diet coke!
Okie dokie!
*gives Ms B unlimited diet coke refills*
Explains why I am so freaking tired.
I do recall the ENGLISH HERE comment now. How the hell you remember all this? I don’t even remember what I had for lunch.
*squeezes*
I think so too!!
*wears fire retardant suit and squeezes DW*
Which reminds me I have a German exam tomorrow…
Der ist doch gekauft!! idk what im saying XD Ist der Gefaukt doch
It’s like the government- the solution is worse than the problem.
Seems like it is time.
*Sets up bar*
Order up.
Apple martini, please? More apple than vodka if you’d be so kind. I still have about 7 hours of work to go.
*whimpers*
Sorry, not allowed. You are still able to think about work so it is now mandatory to have more alcohol than apple.
*prepares apple martini*
*garnishes with apple skin twist*
*sluuuuurp*
*cough cough cough*
That’s a good drink right there! Thanks.
*hic*
*puts another on the bar*
No no no, sorry honey, but you aren’t going anywhere till you need to be carried out of here.
You had me at *sets up bar.*
Unfortunately, I really do have to think to get some of my work done. *sigh*
Lies and slander.
*Pours another*
You must down it, it will release your “creative” side.
Must have been some Bacon-lube for the ref. to slip on.
Impossible. BaconLube was recalled and pulled from the market at the time this game occured.
You’ve never heard of the black market, Leila?? :p
I am just too naive.
*closes trenchcoat-forgot to wear clothes underneath*
*opens trenchcoat whispers* Hey, DW, wants some BaconLube. Plenty more where these jars came from. Your FOOOMS will have better effect when sprayed with BL.
*takes pictures*
*uploads to internet*
*forwards to everyone on his contact list*
Well, well, well. I guess Mrs. B is off the running-around-naked-hook. On a Thursday too! For shame!
WooHoo!
*does the happy dance, fully clothed*
*bear hugs Ms. B, because she has her clothes on*
I know right! HIP HIP HURRAY for Ms B and Brewski for keeping their clothes on today!!!!
*has kept clothes on for almost 2 weeks*
Speaking of which… isn’t it about time you washed those?
Judy! I guess I’m coming to your house tonight. Have that cookie dough ready.
*Beams with pride*
I had a close scrape with DW’s dragon-grog infused duct tape, but I was able to escape with the handy Escape kit I keep hidden in my shoe, for just such an emergency.
I’ll see you later, Ms. B! Remember, I get to fold!
Hammy, you live closest to me. As per aiki’s site. I might have to venture out to kingston to visit. Have a real life failblog conversation. Let the unition begin.
How does one “forget” to wear clothes?
You mean, you’ve never done it? Especially when trenchcoats are involved?
*snickers*
That’s a linesman, not a referee. Not that that makes it any less funny.
Exactly. TITLE FAIL!
Was going to point out that exact thing.
Way to fail, failblog!
I still love you, though. I’ll even have a picture to send if I remember to take my camera with me next time I’m in the south end.
Very nearly two injuries for the price of one on the referees part, headbutting the yellow players knee looked pretty painful.
*sniff…sniff* Wait? What’s that? Do I smell a troll-free room now?
Thank you FB!!!!
Tempting fate?
WOO HOO FB!!!
Hey Boo! (Woo hoo too!)
I just love FB!
Dear Leila,
Thank you for letting us know about this infestation. I will go in and check out these comments.
Have a great day!
Miniburger
…and then, troll is gone!!!!
*dances*
Happy happy happy!
Joy joy joy!
I ♥ Ren and Stimpy!!!!! *bats eyelashes*
Hi david,
Thank you for lettign us know about this. I will review his comments.
Miniburger
>/i>
This is the first and last time you will hear me say this:
I ♥ miniburger
Size is not everything.
LIES!!!
Jeez, I don’t like to be a wet blanket, but posting personal email in public, even from an admin, is potentially not good. These messages look harmless, but a sympathetic soul might say a little too much and regret seeing it posted in public. Just sayin…
*wrings out the Admiral*
You have a point there.
Unrelated: I was wondering if you or Dragon ever heard of Jack Johnson before? I was kinda shocked yesterday that no one knew him and you two are the best educated people here (seems to me). Therefore: Have you?
Pardon my butting in, but I have heard of this person. It rings a bell, but no face comes to mind.
Jack Johnson the singer/songwriter? Or Jack Johnson the boxer?
The latter aka my avatar.
Nope. Never heard of him.
Whew, at least one around here knows about him. Well, two including myself.
Tsk. Are you becoming immune to my smartassiness, Arthur??
You did hear about him, didn’t you?
*snork*
Yes, I did. I just find it incredibly amusing that you don’t even acknowledge my irony any more…you just sweep right past it and keep the conversation going.
*acknowledges irony (delayed)*
Wait…do you want it acknowledged or not? I’m confused.
Nah. Irony deficiency is NOT one of my problems.
What? Wait, DW is anemic??
Even your ass is smart.
Do you like Jack Johnson the singer/songwriter?
Hee…!
I’m a sucker for acoustic guitar music.
*picks out CDs for tonight*
Of course! I knew I’d seen the picture somewhere. The “Galveston Giant” Jack Johnson is your avatar, right?
3
I know of the famous boxer, Arthur. Much has been written about him. I could not and did not recognize him on sight, though.
4
That’s what started the “show your real face” day btw. Turned out that several people thought my avatar was me, that’s why I asked who knew about Jack Johnson. Not one.
Strike “Famous”. (But he should be! I said it yesterday already, it’s about time that Hollywood discovers him!)
*waits for Arthur to finish his screenplay*
Pfft. Who is the author around here, huh?
“The Great White Hope” is a phrase that many will recognize yet not know its origins. I think I remember cartoons that referenced this famous match. Jack London had some serious problem with race, though he has defenders.
*snickers*
How many “Great White Hopes” had they? Ten or more? Hehehe!
I’d be happy to write your screenplay, Arthur!
Um…do you think Hollywood will be put off by the dragons??
I’d think it is helpful to be a dragon when it comes to negotiate the payment. So write it, get rich! (and pay me a share
)
I thought someone had already made a movie about Jack Johnson….. Maybe it was on TV.
DW! Judging by what I see on Hollywood Boulevard, a dragon wouldn’t get a second glance.
*goes up to her post and tries to erase email* Sorry Admiral.
I doubt seriously that there was any harm this time.
*squeeze*
Oh…okay. Whew!
*squeeze*
♫ Herding cows the size of schnauzers, but they’re cattle. ♫
So what’s the same sponsorship message coming into my RSS feed every day, with the same advert each time?
Gotta go on an impromtu/emergency road trip. Hopefully I will be back in time to talk around the Saturday Trolls. Hugs – squeezes – sniffs to all those who deserve them.
Safe travels Jenny. *squeeze*
Be safe, though Im probably too late for you to read this.
*bear hugs Jenny*
The pint-sized Hurricanes are fun to watch. I’ve been to a couple of their games.
la laa bamba
NOOO!!! Not that song!!!
LALALALALALA
No!!! It won’t go away!
♪ Oh, sugar sugar! Ah, honey honey!
You are my candy girl! ♫
Grrrrr! You asked for it!
♪Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on ♫
Nope. No effect.
You’ve used that one too often, BFF. I am immune to it.
How about that VVV?
Yer a bastard.
And I say that with all the love in the world.
It worked!
*dances*
♫And IIIIIEEIIIIIIIIIII….
Will always love youOOOOooou…♫
♫ Last christmas I gave you my heart
but the very next day you gave it away (gave it away).
This year
to save me from tears
I gave it to someone special (special) ♫
*glares at Arthur*
*dances more*
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen
Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a King
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music’s high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
You’re in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance…
You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen
Mister Sandman
Bring me a dream
Make him the cutest
That I’ve ever seen
Start spreading the news, I’m leaving today
I want to be a part of it – New York, New York
These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray
Right through the very heart of it – New York, New York
♫ Save me
Save me
Baby
Baby sugar me
Gotta get my candy free ♫
No es “La la la bamba.” Es:
Para bailar La Bamba,
Para bailar La Bamba
Se necesita una poca de gracia.
Una poca de gracia, y otra cositas, y arriba y arriba!
Ack! What happened to my avatar? I liked those green vines! What did I do? Oh–heh heh! I tink I know whut I dood.
I think I know that one?.
Is it gone? *looks around sheepishly*
It is!
*dances*
Hurray! *dances*
Check out the previous fail, towards the bottom. Cuddles goes mad on himself, the Moomin and WIK – and gets a squeeze!
*SNORK!*
Some of those posts are HIGH-larious without the troll comments there!!
I just finished reading them a few minutes ago. Entertaining reading!
Funnyboi/Arthur called me sexually frustrated!
Marius told me I don’t have any friends
you have us *squeeze*
♪ DING DONG
THE WITCH (troll) IS GONE!♪
which witch (troll) the wicked (sp*nk) witch (troll)
This is my solemn vow, if ever I see you and know you for who and what you are, you will die at my hands.
oh, god, i went suicidal!
*snork*
*snorkels into fail*
Things are going swimmingly now the troll has gone.
*squeeze*
*theatrically dives for ref*
How was court? Did you win?
I was volunteer paralegaling through an organization that’s working, with the courts, to try and keep people in foreclosure from losing their homes. I guess we won!
We stuck it in the faces of the mortgage companies.
HAH! Good work!!!!
Bless you, Mal. It’s a great thing you do.
this clip reminds me of pargath running through the woods without his left shoe on. the irony is truly sincre
its you erpin miffin fine yet. if you got a big whaarp let me work it
ahh, missy, is that you? I like the part “is sure ifmwippins when yet”
oooh, that’s what you thought was “its you erpin miffin fine yet.”
top 10 most annoying songs that get stuck in your head… go
10) baby got back
That one wasn’t on my list….until today. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
*growls*
9) Feelings
8) Barbie Girl
lol so hard!!! um 8. Barbie Girl
7. That new jingle Comcast is using in their commercials.
It doesn’t even have a melody, yet it still manages to get stuck.
How do they do that? Put a bunch of folks into a focus group, and play songs at them until they all run out of the room screaming? Or maybe follow up the next day and see which jingles are still bouncing around in their heads?
6. A whole new world
5. Anything by John Mayer.
4. Korobeiniki
3. Meow mix commercial theme song.
2. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
1. Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima.
0. It’s a small world after all.
Ugh. Thanks for that earworm, like Disney isn’t all over the place. Ugh.
Ugh I tells ya’!
Jut to let you know: Funny Guy has been banned on my request.
So…beware, spünkers!
*makes the “I’m watching you” sign *
Sorry, happy occasion.
I think a bunch of people wrote in…I know I did. I asked Emily to put the “word of the day” into the filter. That way, whatsisname could post from any IP or computer he liked, but his posts still wouldn’t go through.
*gives three cheers!*
*invites everyone to hold hands and dance in a circle*
It’s almost Midsommar afton! Who will raise the maypole?
You do it first, and show us how it’s done.
The only issue now is we cannot congratulate anyone for having great ingenuity and s p u n k. Though he may have ruined the actual word for us as well…
I think we’ll survive.
Now we can all take off these raincoats.
Except for Leila!!! She forgot to wear clothes today!
*wags finger* this is really getting to be an issue, young lady. Get in the house.
death is all I can give you.
Who are you talking to?
.
I gotta take off, see ya soon!!
*smooch!*
Heh heh, that was quick! He’s totally gone yet again!
Yah. Upon reflection, I realized it was a tactical FAIL on my part to reveal what we did to keep him out of here.
This time, my lips are sealed!
Why do the young ones think trolling is funny?
*smooch* lol, myself, I guess. HEe hee. Have a great night sweetheart!
We will survive!
As long as we know how to love
I know we will stay alive
We’ve got all our lives to live
We’ve got all our love to give
And we’ll survive!
I feel so warm, snuggly and protected on this blog!
*snuggles all in attendance*
*group squeeze*
*squeeze*
*pinches Mal’s butt while he is distracted*
Snuggle pile!!
*dives in*
Ahhhhh! *relaxes in snuggles*
Life is good!
Now, who was supposed to bring the cooler?
was supposed to.
*insert name here* was supposed to.
*inserts Leila’s name*
Oh, you mean this?
*pulls oversized cooler from behind back*
Lessee… brewskis, frozen daiquiries, margaritas…Want anything?
(Well, that party fizzled out before it got started, didn’t it? Well, there’s always the Friday cuddle puddle to look forward to.)
*smooch!*
I’m looking forward to it!
We got a wee bit distracted to day…sowwy!
Trolls will do that.
*squeeze*
*notices extra space in previous post*
Erm…um….HEY, BREWSKI! Look over there!!
*hastily removes it whilst Brewski’s attention is diverted.
Well, anyone got time for one before the night takes it’s toll on us? I could do with a cold brew. We’re watching the Weather Channel “Vortex 2″ series – where they show real-time video tornado chasers – and we’ve got a serious thunderstorm going on!
I’m downloading software, so I can join you while I wait for it to finish.
*pops open a Strongbow*
We’ve been having rough storms for the last few days here, too. We had a tornado watch, but no warnings yet.
Whatchya downloading? Hopefully not windows 7.
Damn, I haven’t been able to find Strongbow, anywhere near me. I may have to special order it from a local specialty shop.
There’s been storms here every night this week. Drove home through flash flood conditions last night.
*yoinks comma^*
I just can’t believe how excited they get when they see a funnel cloud developing – I mean, it could be the disaster of someone’s home or business! And they think it’s the coolest thing they’ve ever seen. I understand they are “scientists”, sort of, but these things destroy folks’ lives! (Sorry, I’ve got relatives in the midwest, and I worry.)
Lucky for me, here in Toronto we don’t get many tornadoes. There is a 14 year cycle where some tornadoes do get produced, but for the most part we just get thunderstorms.
Did you see the video that was captured this week of a tornado that leaned way over and exposed the top of the funnel directly into the view of the zoomed in camera?
Where can I find that video?
I did, Admiral, and found it hard to understand how destructive they are from that footage. Of course, I didn’t hear what “F” value they gave that one.
Speaking of which, here is a really scary storm.
{http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=NN-aUC2PW0s&feature=related}
I think it was an F2, but I’m not certain.
Eeep! Not too bad, but any tornado is scary to me. I remember spending many nights in our basement when I was a kid…
I find it odd how the F value is set afterward, based on how much damage it caused.
Where did you spend your childhood, Dragon? I can’t imagine having to hide out from one as a child! Eeep!
*stamps F value on Dragon’s comment*
Don’t let Arthur see that!! :p
Just kidding…your comments are invaluable. I’m sure Arthur agrees.
Used the right email this time?
Heeheehee.
*scampers off*
*puts on striped shirt*
*runs down the field*
*tries to stop and slips*
Oh no! I accidenty the Moomin!
*therapeutic squeeze*
Yay! First failblog post, and nothing rhyming with junk to follow! ^_^
gee, I think that’s hard to swallow…
*squeezes abstract*
Say, I saw a punk yesterday with his hair painted like a skunk. He was at Ikea buying some bunk beds.
lolz!!! oh gee, that was random. *squeeze Brewski* end of day pick me up. *wipes tears of laughter from eyes* *chokes out, “I do love Ikea”.*
HEY! That was probably my nephew. Don’t judge.
wow, the hurricanes are easy to take down
In the US, hurricanes take YOU down.
*high-fives Leila*
rofl!!! ha, yup.
And raise the cost of gas. 
Technically it is linesman fail, not referee fail.
Night all! Talk to you tomorrow!
Rest, my hero, and arise again refreshed in the morn to take on the evil corporate bankers who steal homes from hardworking, honest families!
I’ll get them good!
Oh my, there are like, man, so many comments in here that I just can’t stand it. It is, like, really like um blowing my mind …
Yes, it’s starting to get out of hand isn’t it? It used to be we rarely got past 300 posts.
It takes forever to figure out which discussions you are in!! I think you all just need more fails per day … see people are right I am a pain. Not here but two days and I am trying to change things!!
I agree! I don’t know if they get enough flow through their submissions, but I would think so. It’s worth trying… This fail is always the worst, cause it has to last all afternoon and evening in the US.
I use search a lot… and I use the “recent posts”. And some the stuff I just skip, you can’t read everything. After a while you learn to spot your favorite posters. Which is generally the regulars. People like Arthur, jam, mr. cuddles, Admiral, Dragon, Avis, Ms B, Judy, velvet, Leila, Bondfan,czuhc, etc. I shouldn’t have started a list cause I know I left several out!!
me
AAAhhhh!!!! YES!! You’re one of my faves, SB!! And Malicite! See, I KNEW I shouldn’t have made a list!!
So who else did I forget??? I’m afraid to ask…
UMMM, *clears throat*
*waves tentacles around*ME!*squeezes boggy*
How ya been Boggy? We’ve missed ya!
Eeew…
*wipes slime off arms*
What have you been into, anyway?
Hmf!
and me…..
and after all the beer, sausages, and popsicles….
Ha! I mentioned you (see below) before I saw you had posted! So there! :p
Ok.
*offers Brewski a Hofbrau House liter of Dunkel*
I forgive you.
Ah, Munich… Wish I could go back…
Ah, Frankfurt! I wish I could go back!
I managed to sneak a litre beer stein out of Munich’s Hofbrauhaus in the kangaroo pocket of my sweatshirt. I still am not sure how I got out of that place with the stein. Then again, I’m not quite sure how I was walking after drinking 2 1/2 litres of German beer (or was it 1 1/2 litres???). That was a fun night!
HAH! I’ve got two HB steins! Vintage ’73.
*withdraws “HAH” comment*
*inserts:*
Gee, I can’t imagine how you walked out of there either!
*rather than*
Only 2 1/2 litres? Wuus!
I’m sure any you’ve left out will forgive you Brewski!
Patrica rocks, but I’m not sure about that gaynor guy…
See above^^^, you’re another one I click on in “recent posts”. Usually it boils down to people with an avatar, that I recognize!
I also forgot Jimbo… *sigh!*
As I said; I’m sure people will forgive you and blame any temporary loss of memory on the long-term effects of dragon grog!
*squeeze*
(Plus I’ve been away for awhile, was accused of leaking work info)
WHAT???
That’s ridiculous, of course.
I was talking of the long term effects on humans dear Dragon!
And I was talking about the accusation at work, dear gaynor!
Sorry to hear about that, gaynorvader. Being falsely accused is a very frustrating experience.
Thanks, I actually felt guilty as well! I hate when that happens.
*scrolls up*
*thinks of lurk, hammy, Aja, and several others*
*gives up and goes home*
Bye for real this time, this damn FB won’t let me go home!
‘Night Brewski. I saw what you wrote to me on the other Fail. Thanks!
Bye Brewski.
*sneaks in before bed*
Hi Emp!
Say, I know what happened to our beloved WhoaNellie, but whatever happened to MRN? Is he on vacation? No crow in a while either?
Crow has the night shift lately. So if you go back a few fail you will see his posts. As to MRN, I have no idear.
*SQUEEZES Brewski*
*happy to be included as a favorite poster!*
Well, you’re one of MY favorites!
Ooooh! Judy has a poster out? I want a signed print.
I hope you both know you are my favorites! I still think you guys are so cute!!! Luv’n you both!
Thanks, Judy. We enjoy our rapport, and it’s nice to know that others do, too.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*hugs Judy and the Admiral*
That made me feel good too, Judy, thanks!
No charge, sweeties!
*squeezies*
*happy group squeeze!*
Actually, I regret posting that, cause I have many many favorites. At any given time, there are a few people on, so it’s always easy to see who is a “real” FB’er. But to list everybody in one shot, I can’t do it! I didn’t mean to create any “rank” or anything, I loves ya all!
*squeezes everybody, you know who you are*
I know…it’s the dreaded “List Syndrome”. I’ve gotten caught in that a couple of times myself.
But just for the record…I always read your posts, too!
Ditto!
I’ve been left out of more lists than included. I’ve learned not to be offended. That being said, I was happy to make your list, Brewski.
While I do have a “must read” list, I usually read all and use an “except” list. It’s a much shorter list that way.
Me three — both here (yea now I am a FailBlogger) AND at the formerly dreaded (by FBers, not me) LOLcatz!
Actually, some time ago, I posted for a bit on lolcats. I really like the people over there, but with the lolspeak…well, I just couldn’t keep it up.
*rereads last sentence*
*snorks*
*is glad she isn’t a guy*
*haz happy u izzint guy*
HaHa, you said “up”.
I been reading the LOLcats too, since the invasion, and I really think you have a great community there, but I don’t understand half of what you guys write, so I’ma stick to Failblog…
*squeezes new lolcat frend!)
*trips, falls, then lols*
I am glad we gained a friend.
Another mail has gone,
To the almighty one.
Once again it starts,
So I will now depart.
*waves*
*toasts jam*
We’ll preserve your spot for tomorrow.
I aspic-t we’ll see her again soon.
She’s good at spreading the love.
WHORE!
Did you learn that word from your mother’s work, or did she ‘educate’ you herself?
I will not stand for this. I refuse to allow a fellow Brit to be called a whore. You sir, have made a bg mistake.
*Offers bff an “i”.*
Relax. He called me a whore. I do enjoy attention now and then.
Dude it is still a degrading remark none the less. Can’t believe i said dude.
*facepalms as a loud “WHOOOOSH” is heard across the blog*
Okay, I’ll explain this one time (because stopping the fun to explain all our jokes to you would get incredibly onerous). The Admiral was being funny. He was being a gentleman by deflecting the insult away from jam and onto himself. He knows that it is a degrading remark. He knows that it is insulting. He knows that the remark was not really aimed at him, but at jam. He knows that even if it WERE aimed at him, it would still be a degrading remark. He knows that jam would laugh when she read what he had posted, and he knows that the troll most likely wouldn’t understand his meaning.
Got it?
*squeeze* to Dragon and Admiral.
Oh, I actually thought he was referencing the Admiral. Sorry. I don’t mean to be a burden. I guess I should go then.
Actually, that’s not how I took it. I thought it was more of a alert, like shouting “Fire!” But that’s just me and it’s late.
Heeheehee!
Have I ever told you all how great you are?
*jammy squeezes all*
(Thanks Admiral)
Yay Admiral!
*high fives*
*high five!*
You know, that could have been quite a juicy pun run, if it hadn’t been interrupted.
C’MON PEOPLE! I wasn’t spectin‘ to squeeze this one out all on my own!
Spreading yourself too thin, are you?
Sorry I’m late. Marmalade on it funny, and it’s been on pins and needs for the last few minutes.
Hm. My last comment didn’t jell. Weird.
*butters Dragon up*
You would never upset the apple cart.
You’re berry sweet. I seed what you did there.
He’s just preserving his rights to gel you up later!
Orange you glad our community sticks together through thick and thin?
A toast to one and all!
And I bid you all adieu (sorry – sp?)
till the morn greets us anon.
oh, dear god, save us now, it came back!
No worries, ignore him, he’ll be gone shortly. And the next time, same again. I’m infinitely patient.
So, anyways…are you all freaked out now that you saw all us failbloggers?
lol, I just didn’t realize the diversity of our group. I thought most of us were pretty much me.
how’s that for egocentric? I love all you guys just as you are, and that’s what makes our little community so awesome. We’re just us. I probably come off like an eleitist b*tch. Please don’t think that of me. *offers Brewski some non-flamed sordid pasteries from last fail* shhh, I skwerrled some away
2 “L’s” & 1 “R”
I still have some of those skwerlled away pasteries, want one?
*scampers up to “abbie” abstract*
*begs*
*grabs pastry, shoves skwerlly in pastry*
*eats pastry*
sorry skwerrly, I went home and forgot to give you one. Here, you can have the whole plate this morning! *squeeze*
*skwerlly I can’t spell even when I’m looking right at it.
*sneaks back into failblog before shutting down*
*scarfs down a tasty pastry*
*gives big smooches to abstract*
Thanks! Don’t eat all those pastries yourself! Bye!
You’ve got a dragon at your back.
*grin*
*squeeze* my great defender!
Knee-to-knee hit. Ref is gettin’ fined.
After 700 comments, someone is talking about the Fail.
I know! After all that talking, a short quip is refreshing.
I mentioned the fail
Yes, as a matter of fact it is. Did you get the memo?
What’s all about you Ms B, if I may be so bold as to enquire?
The kamasutra. HA
Absolutely everything!
Top hole!
rear hole!
Yea, like everfin man. Everyfin retarded.
Everfin Man; not your average super hero! He can heal any fin, no fin too great, no fin too small!
I thought it was past the trolls bedtimes?
Thats a chipolata not a man sausage Dooby.
Thy speech is likened to a virgin. Thy mind wallows in a pallid obsession with all things of a sexual nature which spews forth in alarmingly purile forms befitting of thy infantile nature. I bid you good day varlet!
So thee do agree with the rest of my statement then? Good. There may be hope for you yet, young one.
Ah we iz talkin funi wayz innit, I getz it blud. Pece owt bruva!
Rough Translation: Ah. We are talking in strange ways, no? I understand that much, my friend. Farewell.
Oh for the love of-
Why do these wannabe gangstas continue to pester us? It makes me want to scream whenever I hear “blud” in the street. Please. Speak. English.
Me finx u az a problm boi,lern sum respek an 1 ov theze daize u wil ged id. Bo. Thiz iz da futcha ov engliz rite ere blud. Duno dowt id duno fite id cuz we fite arder an fasta. Innit. U wil gerit sune. WiKeD.
*shuns the pretender*
Now I see how people try to frame the cheezpeeps. It’s wrong, I tell you. WRONG.
So … erm …. no – this one is not one of ours. *narrows eyes at the pretender*
The name he’s given himself sort of gives it away too.
There was a fail?
haha he fell over!
ROFLCOPTER
goes soi, soi, soi?
Just tryin’ to help.
Do you think Peter is having trouble getting it up?
*snork!!!*
*and a roffle for good measure!*
He shoots he scores!.
Do some old comments get removed from older posts and pictures?.
Everything old dies someday.
Not alot of help LOL zombo
Lucky sevens! 777
Are you ignoring me now LOL.
no
Hello Monkey.
Pretty awesome fail, but its not a referee, its a linesman
Thats not a Ref, It’s a Linesman.
i’m glad some people know it. failblog fail.
i feel stupud any1 tell me how to put costom picturr for your fail blog commont
See “Send in the Fail Boat” at the top of the page. It instructs you how to submit.
Go to gravatar.com and follow the instructions.
He fell. Oh me oh my . . .
I LOVE how this has almost 1000 comments and MAYBE ONE PERCENT IS RELATED TO THE FREAKING VIDEO.
Worst comments on the internet, EVER. Unbelievable. I am honestly going to stop visiting this website just because it is apparent no one should get within 50 miles of anyone from this horrid “community”.
Pathetic.
Wa, 938 comments!?
I feel so sorry for the Bank Robber Fail.
Jesus
WHOOOOO!!! GO CANES!!!!!!! eee
This should be titled ‘Linesman fail’. The referee is the guy in the background with the two red bands around his arms.
Yet another video of someone falling down. Just stop. Please.
Yellow Shirt Manuveur WIN!
Everything about everything here is just plain stupid, from the video to the comments, including my metastupidity.
listen for the concerned walrus at :16
That was a linesman, not a referee.
That’s a linesman, not a referee. Referees have the orange band on their arm.
I am in college and a huge fan of my team: therefore, the words “referee fail” seem redundant to me, because referees are, by definition, FAIL.
fail;d
THROW THEM OUT! FAIL.
Amazing things here. I am very happy to see your post. Thank you a lot and I am looking forward to touch you. Will you please drop me a mail?