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No refunds for hand removal?
If you opened the door, it’s your own silly fault
But the door was ajar, and I wanted to see what was inside!
I just wanted to get my foot in the door…
Sorry, foot removal is over there –>
Head this way —>
HeadOff, apply directly to the jugular…
Thats what happens when you juggle chainsaws…
When I was in L.A. there was a guy juggling with chainsaws. He did it every day and said the exact same things every day – I was able to speak simultaneously with him after a week. Venice Beach – the only place where a guy juggling with chainsaws can really annoy you!
OH SHI-
Did he die?!
How to get ahead in navigation
You can run, but you cannot hide!
Eek!
Stalker! Stalker!
I’ve got to hand it to you, you did a good job of tracking me down.
Haha, gotcha! Raise your hands! Oh, I see…
(But you did find a good spot to hide. The first thread was recently not too often worthy to read.)
You’ve really got to hand it to them…
*cheers & waves* *puts hands together*
This store has great advertising, I think we should all give them a hand.
(Good day all)
Wish I could but I had it removed. You can do a lot with a foot though. *squeeze*
*squeeze*
Yes, feet do come in handy.
*squeeze* for all!
.
Hand removal? Hmmm…sounds like that salon I went to last summer in Idahell.
*Squeezes velvet* Ooh, soft!
Did your manucure turn into a mandectomy? (new word??)
“manicure”! *sigh*
Close. I barely came out with my nails still attached. I think the nail tech was out and the owner tried to step in so she wouldn’t lose the sale. It was a nightmare! I’ll always ask for credentials from now on!
Hand AND hair removal. The girl at this salon I went to just about melted the round brush on my hair.
Sounds like Ms B. Dragon sneezed yesterday and burnt off all her hair. Please don’t laugh at her bald head when she gets in today.
I knooooow!!! Good thing we can’t point at her either.
-
Do you know what Dragon has done with Malicite?
That salon needs a hands off policy.
*squeeze*
First!!!
Oops!!! FAIL!
Would have been a fail anyway.
tsk…they just never learn.
I’d like to remove my right hand please,
Did they remove both hands while you were typing?
Well I’m usualy typing one-handed anyway.
*self squeeze*
poiu
;lkj
/.,m
Just sayin’.
If someone else would like to remove his hand.. Please sell it to me.
I believe the Vicar needs a hand removed. I think he was trying to retrieve the potato.
*POUNCE* ‘morning!!!!
-
…that’s not all the vicar was doing.
Morning Leila,
*Squeez*
*removes Leila’s hand*
Please not in public.
Jules, are you the Sun Dog now?
I think you are getting your yoga confused there is, downward facing dog and sun salutation. Not sun dog.
Sun salutation = morning wood.
Wookie’s Paradise?
Been spendin’ most my life
Livin’ in a Wookie’s Paradise
Fought the Empire once or twice
Livin’ in a Wookie’s Paradise
With these products you can give somebody a hand!
Yes, but you won’t be able to point the finger if it all goes wrong.
No, but you can sell the finger and get a leg up in black market organ trade.
Can I get a refund if unsatisfied?
No, butt only get it if your gut says so…
I hear they have a whole arm(y) of products!
*whispers* I’d reply to your post, but not sure if I should wrist it.
Hell- at least all those products are organ-ic.
I prefer hand-me-downs…
At least you dont have to muscle in to find them!
If you did that, they’d likely give you the finger.
and that would not be humerus.
I can’t think of thumbthing good to say today.
We need to nail the bastard!
Leila!!! You nailed this punrun!! Congratulations!
You’re so cuticle when you make puns!
Yay! Let’s hang(nail) and have a drink to celebrate!
And they have samples of all of them for you to try, ‘cept the more expensive brands.
Yeah, some kid ne(arl)y made a fortune from free samples.
Can I haz cheezburger fur de meesing hend?
You can have a boot to the head.
*gives googy a boot to the head*
…and one for Jenny and the wimp!
You just made up for firsting.
I didn’t actually first, I freaking failed at firsting first
Firsting = yelling “FIRST!”, especially in attempt to be the first one to comment on a new fail. You don’t have to actually get the first comment, if you yell “FIRST!” it’s still firsting.
At least, that’s my understanding of it.
Agreed.
POB, I’ll be the FISRT one to tell you you’re spot-on!
Oh, wait, I’m second. Damn.
My understanding of it is that “FIRST!” is spamming. I just think it is pointless.
Don’t make us invade ICHC again.
I don’t think we could handle the embarassing failure again.
I thought we did it pretty well the last time?
Someone went and expressed disbelief at us at a later date.
He didn’t believe we were real? Something like eloquency-bots?
Your use of an imaginary language can’t have helped.
Did we raid ICHC? Was I part of it? I must have suppressed the memory.
A while ago, yes. Some lolspeakers were here, so we decided that it’s time to retaliate.
Was that around the time of the infamous MILF raid?
I’m not sure. Did the MILF speak?
I fight those ‘lolspeakers’ everyday, but I can’t remember. Was I part of it?
Yes we did.
No you were not.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/04/17/funny-pictures-video-kitteh-vs-potato/
I can’t believe I missed the raid.
Wow… I must have sleepwalked into that fail.
GAH!
*whistles and skips away*
OMFG is that Boots in the UK? XD
Oh my funny? Furry? Flabbergasting? God?
felching!
*squeeze!*
*squeeze*
Hiya!
Howdy! long time! just a quick visit before being forced back into the work
*SQUEEZE!* Wha? Another quicky!
Too long! We missed you!
Order My Felching Granny!
*squeeze*
OMFG add to slopping cart and checkout!
*squeeze*
Granny! There was an an*l cruise earlier, you would have loved it!
*squeeze*
Yeah, is it sad that the first thing I saw when I looked at this I was like “OMG THAT’S A BOOTS SHELF LABEL”? Hehehe, can’t do the shelf monitor thingy without being able to recognise a label instantly.
It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only colleague who noticed that!
Yep it’s Boots, and yes in the UK. Where else would it be?
♬ Hands off, baby hands off…♬
*slams down piano lid*
nope- never works as well as the movies………………….ow
You look different… Is it something new with your hair?
avatar went walkies ……*catches elephant, staples it to post*
Elephant? Is it an internal shot?
? no don’t think so, I took the photo in Africa.
Ah! Now I can see it! Very nice shot! Were you there long?
(Wow finding that took longer than that time I tried to find 9 dolphins!)
3 months working with the wildlife, and being distinctly battered by it- I have a metal shoulder and scars you would not believe from the rhino I was supposed to be mucking out- and that there photo was taken without a zoom lens!
Are you the seven-million-dollar-woman?
Not quite- more like $8,000- I love insurance!
I think you just made me love you a little bit.
Awww fank oooo
*squeezies*
*squeezes!*
*chops off AE’s hands*
Toe typing FTW!
how does the hand and hair removal relate to skin care? FAIL
I hope there’s a happy ending on the hand job
It would certainly come in handy.
(hi, gcf!) *squeeze*
Say tht to anyone that has just been waxed …….*cries gently*
So, you have been waxed lately? THT! *wipes spit off monitor*
This morning- more than that I am not willing to disclose!
*rolls ‘a’ into 3 posts above* – hoping that no one but Aurthur noticed
*whistles nonchalantly*
Dammit. Moderated again.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
You just cu n’t seem to get it right today, huh?
I used the ‘I’ word.
Lemme see: Imägine.
*shakes arm stump at Arthur*
I think we should just spell FB-sensitive words incorrectly. For instance; imajine and imaje
0.0
Maybe Lolcats has really strict moderation?
Psst! I tried to join the lolcats gang…but nobody replied
(clicky, then scroll towards the bottom)
I guess they are all browsing through their dicitionaries now to see what you meant.
You are no longer alone there.
*ROFFLESNORT!* You’re a wonderful man Arthur *SQUEEZE*
So are you, DrB! *squeeze*
AE, I replied to you. It said my comment was awaiting moderation. That sounds ominous.
I replied as well, but was moderated!
*grumble grumble*
Your sexual innuendo alerted the filter?
*hopeful*
*SNORK*
I ment Katy!
*gives Arthur an “a”*
My post was completely innocent. I did include the word “sniff”, other than that I can’t ïmagine why it was filtered!
I got moderated also. Perhaps because we didn’t use LOLspeak?
*strolls into thread sipping coffe*
Mornin’ all.
Morning, X-phile. *covets the coffee*
*squeeze* How are you today?
Lana Odlid!
Haha, I’m too clever for FB. I kcuf BF pu eht esra.
What is Wrong wrong with the word I m a g i n e anyways?
Imagine that!
Sounds like “i n m y c h i n”???
Yoko Ono?
The other day I wrote something about S p i t t i n g I m a g e , but I thought I got moderated because of the first word!
@custard fairy: Brilliant!
@custard fairy: two please, poached ~ I’ll wash-up
I did a little bit of digging and I believe the reason FB moderates Imajine and inaje is because of an Islamic magazine called I – maj.
(replace all instances of ‘j’ with ‘g’)
I imagine that makes no sense…
Mods?! What is going on!
Immanual?
Impregnate?
Can you tell me why the word i m a g i n e is a sensitive word here?
I suspect they blocked the word ïmage because it can be used in HTML tags to embed images. I have no idea why they block ïmagine, however.
ARGH, trying again… I suspect they blocked the word “ïmage” because it can be used in HTML tags to embed ïmages. I have no idea why they block “ïmagine”, however.
Use your imägination!
Got it. TY.
It’s just “imaj” which is the problem. (replace ‘j’ with ‘g’)
what’s wrong with the word imaj, j=g?
The ‘g’ is always crooked. FB frowns upon anything non-linear.
Did you reply?
You didn’t! Whew!
Put the wagging finger away or I will!
I won’t wag anymore, last time I did I strained my finger.
You’ll have to have your hand amputated.
Luckily I know a place. . .
I can’t afford a fancy operation like that. I’ll just use my rusty butter knife.
A fork and knife?.
You can borrow my scissors, they are less rusty.
But rusty is the fun part about that!
It’s the scissors they used for my ahass. I’m not just lending in out to anybody you know.. So, are you sure?
Tempting…
There is some pööp on it.
Ok, I’m in!
*Hands Arthur the scissors*
It’s the tetanus lottery!
I never win at lotteries.
You just won the ‘you-are-great lottery’!!
*gives Arthur a 20$ coupon for hand removal*
Yeah great, just when I removed my hands myself…
*takes coupon with mouth*
But you won!
*throws confetti and hands Arthur a balloon animal*
For he is a jolly good fellow, for he is a jolly good fellow…
*Gives arthur some artificial arms to use*
Ummmm what you do with Rusty is your own business.
And another moderation.
I give in.
*packs bags, leaves*
Oh no! Please don’t leave!
*squeezes*
*locks arms around Moomin so he can’t leave*
*throws Moomin several extra “ïmages”*
Here, will these help??
*gives a bunny squeeze* Don’t go Moomin…
*squeezes thread*
My comments appeared
*squeezes moomin*
you’ve got to hand it too them the sign looks armless enough……
i’ll get my coat.
sharia law!
You steal, your hand goes bye bye.
For hairy palms.
No way you are going to remove the hair on my palms.
*super massive squeeze*
It’s been toooooooooo long!
*gang squeeze!*
Wow Mookie! I didn’t even notice it was you!
*enfolds*
Wow, you’ve got some long arms! *squeezes back*
That can come in handy!
.
I’ll get my jacket.
Reminds me of a song… hands ,shoulders ,knees and toes. I think there are action for it too. Morning all.
My mom sings that song when she’s doing the laundry.
Morning! *squeeze*
Returning *squeeze* to Dirty hairy and Moomin.
But dirty hairy does she do the action?.LOL
Sometimes, when she’s finished with the laundromat.
Not bad unless she does the ‘eyes and ears and mouth and nose” part too…that would draw some looks at the laudromant.
*Squeeze* 5_eagles
Hi Hairy
*enfolds* missed you
*squeeze* Where have you been Annibunny?
The balloons must mean that they are having a party!
*shakes a cut-off hand*
I think you are right, tomorrow is 50% off you lose an
arm or leg sale.
get 1 off, get one back, a different one-day
50% Off? That’s (not) more than half!
How do you figure?.
It costs an arm and a leg to lose a hand?
No no no no no silly Moomin, you can pick either an arm or a leg. Both if you want someone else to lose a hand.
What’s this all about?
Signed,
Thing from the Addams Family
*hides*
come out cousin its hand hair day.
Its a going out of business sale everything must go…yes today only
folks hands and hair absolutely have to go.!
Seems the sale isn’t attracting customers…maybe we should get more balloons.
I’m having a bad hand day.
No problem. We can take care of that hand right away.
right hand?
Or left. It’s your call.
Well my shandpoo didn’t work.. Right please.
Just step over here to the rusty paper cutter and we’ll get started? You don’t faint at the sight of blood do you?
Not if I get some candy.
Oh… I’ll ask Jam and Moomin if they have any left.
*flees with sweets*
*Chases after Jam*
*stumbles, falls, cries all the way home*
*looks back*
*feels bad*
*offers KatzVD a fizzy cola bottle*
This thread isn’t being moderated is it?
There’s only a certain amount of nesting available, hence the reply button at the top instead.
I will get more balloons be right back.
Get plenty of helium. I want to do the munchkin scene from Wizard of Oz later.
They should offer picnic supplies.
I did not know that. Learn something new every day. Thanks. =)
oops. did that wrong.
The reply at the top of the no-reply comments.
*squeeze*
Thanks again. *squeeze*
I rarely use my left hand for other than alt/ctrl/shift-tabulating.. And then of cause shielding ‘for the win’ when I’m lighting my smokes outdoors.
I would like to have it replaced with a PnP chainsaw if possible..?
Oh, and can i have two heads at some point?
“Goody little ASSHOE!”
*honk honk*
Hm.. I seem to have a similar thing with my right hand..
O.k. I type with both my hands but that’s just because of the training.. Next to that I use it for fighting sometimes and shielding of the lighter when lighting a cigarette..
My right hand sounds pretty useless like this..
Oh, I use it for melon and stalefish grabs when skating vert
:)
My right hand isn’t that useless
If I where skating still, I would rather loose a nut than a hand..
Need that for falling properly
Noooo nut my nut! I’d rather break both my arms.
I mean you don’t need them both, and one of them is mostly in the way when someone’s knee gets too close, too fast…
But skating with no/broken hand(s)/arm(s) can get pretty messy, trust me, I’ve seen it. One of my friends broke a broken arm :-S
Not a thing you wonna experience more than once in a lifetime…
Anyways, how’s everybody’s weather doing for them?
I broke my arm with snowboarding once, didn’t hurt a bit.. It just looks unnatural.
.
My weather is fine once in an hour, rain most of the time.
Unnatural?
Yes. unnatural.
As in…not natural? I mean, come on, what does it look like?
Ímagine if it was already broken, and in a cast (which also breaks on impact).. Ouch!
Argh, same as here then.. What’s your 20, if I may ask?
20 beers?
*gets free sandwich*
Heey! That wasn’t your 20!
At least share the sandwich with Dirty Hairy.
You might wonna help him out a bit, though, his elbow might bend the wrong way..
“When using cream for hand removal, do not touch genitals.” — warning on label
There is a label on the sign? I didn’t notice.
Oh sh*t run to the bathroom Dirty hairy!.
HEELP!!!
*runs to the bathroom*
ARGH! NO NOT MY LEFT HAND!
Do you need a hand?.
Yes,
*quickly takes a hand from one of your eagles*
Raaaawr look at me I’m a monster now.
LMAO Dirty harry. ouch I am not a monster I am not. LOL
I’ve got lot of hair on my hands. I think I’ll remove it.
NOOOOOOOOO phaet
Please tell me it’s because you spilled glue on your hands just before cleaning up a hair salon.
Lie if you have to.
Oh I’ve been there, now I type with my nose.
I use my tongue.
I bet you do.
*squeeze*
Leila, stop licking your eyebrows. That’s really disgusting.
Ow! What fun are you? *licks Brewski*
This is better than bacon lube
I don’t see how that relates.
I think you’re just being awkward now.
I’m sorry.
*lip trembles*
*bursts*
Can’t believe you leave me hanging here.
*tickles Arthur and jam*
*tickletickletickle*
It wasn’t intentional.
Try squinting. Or staring until your eyes go all blury and you can see the picture of bacon lube.
*squeeeeeeeeeeze*
NOOOOO! Brewski! You are not, I repeat NOT allowed to reply to your own post awaiting moderation!
Ooopsies.
Let me guess… Do you guys see two orphan posts from Arthur and Leila down below my post here?
I thought they had fixed that.
Yes. Plus your “ARGH…” comment.
I thought I did something wrong.
Ow, you didn’t! Cheer up!
This will cheer me up.
*grabs legs & starts to hump everyone in FB*
Oei, I think this cheers me up in stead of you.
That’s a little more friendly than your usual *squeezes*. Has Jules rubbed off on you? (no pun intended)
I sure I have.
Sorry…I am too busy humping legs. Can’t respond right now.
I am in an odd mood today.
I like odd.
Somebody stole the reply button again. Thanks for the fizzy cola bottle, Jam!
It was him!!!!! *points at Brewski*
Reply Reply Reply
There’s three?
Wow, it really does trigger the FailBlog filter.
Oh no, I replied to my own waiting-moderation post! Arthur’s going to be so mad at me!
whos arthur?
Good morning everyone!
‘morning FSA!!
Hi! FB is wierd today, it’s not nesting right… What’s going on today?
It’s called “empty nest syndrome”. Very common as the baby-boom generation gets older. Just don’t respond to any posts below here.
I am confused today. What is causing this?
Yoko Ono- and her obsession with Bacon lube by all accounts- and possibly my inability to type?
(talking to wall) good morning! oh wait, (talking to man on poster) good morning! *squeezes poster* have you lost weight?
How sweet of you to notice. *squeeze* G’morning. love your penguin.
thanks. wOoOow i need some coffee.
Coffee makes everything better. *hands tofu big cup o’joe*
*just relises im talking to a poster* oops…
also thanks for the coffee!
Aaah! POB replied to her moderated post! Anarchy and pandemonium!
*Dives into bunker and slams hatch shut*
Everyone has gender issues on here.
Oops, “HE”. Sorry!
Jam, you’re more concerned about these gender issues than any guy I’ve met.
I’m just confused. I’m not sure what flavour I am.
Maybe you are pistachio?
I sure am nutty sometimes. *ponders*
*tastes*
yup.
Fizzy cola bottle flavour.
*tastes*
Tastes a bit like marshmallow.
Oops, I think that was Moomin.
*giggles*
*humps Brewski’s leg*
Ooh… chocolate marshmallow.
*tastes*
Pleh, pleh, pleh!
What the?
All I can say is, I’m glad I’ve managed to keep my pants on today.
It’s too early in the day.
Never say Never!
good thing penguins dont wear pants! wait, is that a bad thing?
Tickled your tongue did I?
You’re very zingy I must say.
I want fizzy cola bottles now.
[Jedi mind tricks] This is not the fizzy cola bottle you’re looking for. [/Jedi mind tricks]
*offers a fizzy cola bottle*
I don’t want that one.
Thanks anyway.
*wanders off to look for cola bottles*
Most men, and Leila, will try humping anything. Gender ain’t an issue.
*flees before Leila reads*
“RUN AWAAAY”
Or should it be moist men?
You should have told me this a long time ago, Moom.
Fake!!! and a bad one too.
Not fake! It was taken in Hertford, UK. The person who took the picture took it with their mobile.
Has anyone made a Star wars joke yet?
Oh wow, doesnt thatl look like fun!
RT
http://www.anonymity.2ya.com
hi peoples!
Looks like a Photoshop to me. To the right of the slash it’s a discoloured, darker block.
Looking forward to seeing some more FAIL pics that are tampered. (no)
FAIL by FAILBLOG. Obviously a photoshop job.
Now I can finally remove those useless hands!
SNL Tried selling me some of that crap long ago…
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/87/87fhandioff.phtml
Not faked, taken in the Boots store in Hertford, England. Poor quality is due to it being taken on a phone since I don’t actively search these things out.
Nice mark out of things – Interesting – one could think this way also . Thanks for the post
What about Scissorhand removal? It would make things a lot easier.
I’d like to get my left hand removed please
reminds me of the pet hair erasing vacuum cleaner.