Evacuation Plan Fail
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Cheezburger Network Blog
OOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
“Ooooten onnna eeeeetttzzz!”
.
~Young Frankenstein
*squeezies*
*squeeze*
.
There’s something weird going on with FB today. I keep getting a ‘print’ popup.
.
*off to run a virus scan*
This fulfills the requirement of having a plan…My financial plan is to win the powerball!
…..
Forked Tongue Fail hot or not?
Fortunately, my antivirus software works grea
Click "OK" now to buy $34.99 Virus-Deleto. Or your system boot sector shall be erased.*vigorously clicks “OK”*
*ok button morphs into a question button now*
*text says, “So what is your computer’s evacuation plan?”*
*computer melts*
That reminds me of an oldie but goodie about the 2004 US elections! Clickie!! ^^^
*you are stuck in a pool of computer gel, slowly melting to death”
*swoops in and saves Emperor from death by melting*
How much win could a winchuck win if a winchuck could chuck win?
Did he die?
this is an epic win
this is the same line that saved 100s of ppl in 9/11 and mabye work again
so this is a win cause my evac plan is the same 1
Ahh, my Heroine! Wait that might sound off.
*yells as being swung into the distance*
I love Ms Bbbbbbbbbbbbbb.
Glad to be of service
it happens when you try to print the evacuation plan
run and run as fast as you can! you cant catch me I the failing sign man!
cant catch me im the ginger bread man
Um, duhhhhhhh.
*face lift*
first
Gingerbread man escape plan?
Yup.
*squeeze*
But what if an evil prince broke your legs off?
*squeeze*
Isn’t that the artist formally know as prince?
He joined the mafia?
hi fluffy! *squeeze* good mornin’!
He’d eat them?
*SQUEEZIES*
I’d just go to a hand-removal shop.
*squeezes*
*wonders what is censored in MMC’s name*
Judy has censored me the other day because I was hanging out of my shorts and she never removed the censor. Would anyone like to do the honors?
I could do it, but what do I get in return?
A pickle surprize?
*removes the ‘censored’, then hides* no…no pickle surprise…please
*mumbles* refresh, refresh, refresh.
Surprize. Out of S’s?
Oh, sorry, that was me. I was, uh, tidying up in MMC’s pants.
OK, I’m done now, cuddles! You can change your name back now. You’re decent!
Well that’s a relief! That censor was starting to get in the way *squeeze*
Sorry, babe. Didn’t mean to put a damper on anything. As you were!
I wonder what the uncesored version of your comment sounded like.
*squeeze*
*squeezes back*
He wasn't squeezing you. Watch where he's replying.*attempts to squeeze Ninja*
*misses, and squeezes Judy in a very uncomfortable place*
oops!
OOOOOH! What was tha…..oh, hi, Brewski. I should have known it was you.
Sorry! I should have known better than to try to squeeze a Ninja. He’s very stealthy and quick.
Clever, Brewski… Chapeau!
No problem, Fruitcake can squeeze my back, I don’t mind.
Where is his nose when he does that?
You reattach them with frosting and then ask the baker to bake a giant version of you!
Hi Ms B! *squeeze*
I have an extra toque you can borrow, if you’d like to hide your…um…somewhat follicly-challenged head.
*squeeze*
Thanks Brewski! I think I’m going to wear the baldness with pride, at least this week.
Look! It’s all buffed and shiny!
Oooh! Aaaah!
*rubs Ms. B’s head*
Can’t … stop…
I’ll bring you good luck!
*Gives Fruitcake a very belated squeeze back*
That sounds half baked.
You do not want to be Ma(ca)rooned in there
Well at 350 the escape plan should take 15 mins.
or until golden brown.
If you take longer than that, you must be one tough cookie.
Either that, or you are frankly iced.
Unless you added nuts. Then it may take a minute longer.
You’d better gingerly add those nuts.
Anything you say sugar.
You’re egging her on, Jules.
Beat it, Annie. We’re cooking up a scheme over here.
Judy, you are so sweet.
*Elbows in front of Jules*
Look, Judy, I picked this flour just for you!!
Butter her up, why don’t you?
Just make sure you don’t drop anything, I don’t have the dough to pay for it.
yes this is wat the guy who lives on duberry lane has in the kitchen
run run run as fast as u can cause u the gingabread man
“gingerbread people run everywhere and are on fire”
You don’t have to run fast, just faster than the person behind you.
…and Godzilla.
No...Right, because fire stops the moment it reaches someone.
Fire? I thought we were playing tag.
did he die?
Yeap.
Photoshop attack.
Nope, not photoshopped… it’s from the Liberal Arts building at the University of New Orleans. No idea who posted this one, but I have a picture of that sign uploaded on my computer from when I took during a campus visit in January. Gotta love NOLA.
JenniBee is correct- it is indeed not photoshopped, as I brought a camera to campus one day just to take a picture of it before someone finally replaced it with an actual evacuation plan. (It still hasn’t been replaced.)
*Running and running as fast he can*
Don’t trip!
*sticks foot out*
Insert a name, huh? I like dipshit.
*shanks dipshit with a rusty knife*
*applauds*
I would have used a rusty spoon.
did it die?
did i die?
yes yes you did, i am your concence speaking. oOoOoOoO… yes, i know. im a penguin. :\
yummmy penguins are yummmy im gona eaaaaaat u!
*stuffs a squishy penguin into (dipshit)’s line of sight*
Run Run Run tofu!!!! and scream FIRE FIRE FIRE while you’re at it.
how can he run u idiot he in my concence duuuur
He is your concense idiot learn the definition of a word before you use it.
Conscience. -3
Conscience. -2
concence?
its wut tofu said lol dont h8 me cuz i copied his/her wording
I wasn’t responding to your post. I replied to tofu’s.
kay
my bad sowwy
con⋅science
the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one’s conduct or motives
Yaaay!
Conscience. -4
Conscience.
did u die?
did u-turn?
i dod turn onto alberturky yesterday
Is that related to Albuquerque?
no its albert as a cookie
Also helpful advice for avoiding bears and Jews.
better get going then
Beers and Juice?
Gin and juice?
gummy bears and jew-jew bees
Don’t be silly. Jews can hardly manage a meager walk.
I talk a lot of shit about a lot of people, but even I don’t mess with the Jews. I don’t mess with the Jews, the Lesbians, and Barbara Walters; that’s what I know.
don’t forget run
To run?
OK, all, this is the acid test… remember the petition you signed yesterday!! Willpower!!
Petition? Is is about what I think it’s about?
Yes. Do not respond to trolls. Go around them but do not reply to their posts.
-
Sign here please.
Do you have a pen I can borrow?
Here you go!
*hands Katz quill and ink bottle*
*signs* Thank you. Anyone else?
*Squiggles name*
*forges his own signature*
*authorizes forgery with initials*
*signs petition, hands pen to Katz*
Ohhh you got a quill!! Fancy!
Be sure you give it back, k? *eyes Anniebunny suspiciously*
*hands the quill back promptly* Does my signature hold more importance since I signed with a quill?
Well the quill pen is mightier.
the pen is mightier then the sword but the quill is mightier then the pen and sword and all gods might
so maybe
“hands jules quill and ink”
Ahhhh the acid is burning, burning, run – run faster…
*puffs of smelly smoke linger*
I'm not a very good multitasker. I think I'll skip one of the 'Run's.OMG stop hiding!
*squeeze*
ninjas fail!
What’s your evacuation plan?i got none i need none from a lamo ninja like u
Something along the lines of pull down my pants and push…
I seriously just lol’d
Hopefully you didn’t LSHISM.
Ninjas never fail! Ninjas rule!
psssh ninjas are losers wgho dress up and go running around
Something like you, but cool?
Ninjas, or Pirates?
both
I thought yo said ninja were losers and not samari killing assassins.
sorry you stupid u key
Samari? Do you mean samurai?
Hmmm, that is an excellent question! I like pirates, they’re dang cool; but ninjas are just as cool.
.
I’m going to have to go with ninjas!
*grins at BN*
Pirates do not brush their teeth. Do Ninjas cover their mouths cuz they have bad breath?
yes
[whisper]Go with ninjas, there are no pirates here to slice you open. You don’t want to anger Blog Ninja.[/whisper]
kay… ninjas rule!
You just reminded me of what Ninja did to me a few weeks ago. I am done regenerating but *shudders* … okay, Ninjas it is. They do look good in black.
Pirates! mmmm..Johnny Depp *drools*
johnny depp who does he play?
Mmmm I wouldn’t mind a little Captain Jack myself….
I thought the pirates of the Caribbean was good, but I like his movies Blow and Donnie Brasco even more.
I haven’t seen either of those. But I did see the first Pirates movie, and most of the second one.
yes, yes indeed. Last movie, the scene where there are like 20 of him. I almost fell out of my seat at the movie!!!
KatzVonD as in tattoo artist?
Yes. I have a big girl crush on her, so my friend gave me the nickname.
My names Guybrush Threepwood and I’m a mighty pirate.
Yes yes, but do you have a parrot?
*bwaaaaaaaak* (translation: like you didn’t know)
Whats his sweetheart’s name?
*bwaaaak*
*thinks hard, smoke issuing from long fuzzy ears* This one is hard to figure out….
Pssssst, it’s Governor Elaine Marley.
*squeeze* How’s my favorite Moomin doing?
Tired and pining for Elaine, how are you mmc?
*squeezysqueeze*
Mancomb Seepgood: HA! Guybrush Threepwood! That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard!
Guybrush Threepwood: Hey! What’s your name then?
Mancomb Seepgood: Mancomb Seepgood.
My name’s Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother?
I’m tired too, but I can’t say i’m pining for Elaine.
Hmmm, we should go find that cushion pile we made many fails ago, it’ll be a good place for a nap.
Full recovered from your Ireland illness I hope?
Yup! My strep throat is completely gone
That pillow pile sounds like a plan!
Just looking to see if I can find anything about Bod’s play, it should have opened by now. He may be back soon!
*lays out cushions in a 4×4 square*
*squeezes Moomin, cuddles Cuddles*
*flees*
Thank you, Moomin. *dives in pillow pile* Come tell us all about it mr. cuddles. Sorry about that trouble I caused at the airport. I had no idea they wouldn’t let you take a bunny in your luggage.
Freakin … best … games … EVER!!!
You are in the Hall of the Mountain King, with passages off in all directions. A huge green fierce snake bars the way!10,000 internets to the first person who knows that reference.
Zork, and that’s my final answer!
BZZZZZZTT!!
Wrong answer, but thanks for playing!
(very close though!)
It’s even earlier than Zork. It’s the original Adventure, isn’t it?
I have it on my computer!
*is proud to be a geek*
When did Adventure come out? Because I remember playing Zork waaayyy back in the mid ’80s. I have it on my laptop, but can’t save my game (no floppy drive).
*DING DING DING DING*
Congratulations! The original game was called “ADVENT”, or Adventure. It ran on a mainframe, and was later ported to BASIC for use on home computers. The Zork series was inspired by the original Adventure game.
*awards 10,000 internets to Dragon, plus 2,000 consolation prize to lurk*
I knew the wording sounded familiar.
*acceps consolation prize graciously*
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*dives into huge pile of internets*
*wallows and paddles happily*
*dons shark fin*
*swims into internets surfingness*
*squeezes DW*
*swims off again*
One of the sequels, then. I recognize the wording. I’ve only played the first one, though.
If you’d like more info:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colossal_Cave_Adventure
Oh wow, they show it being played on an Osborne. My mom and stepdad got an Osborne Executive right before the company went belly up. That’s what I played Zork on. Too funny!
At risk of betraying my age… I was in 6th grade when I got my first computer (Ohio Scientific C1P), 6502-based, back before the Apple II and TRS-80 had come out. Then a Kaypro II running CP/M (dual floppy drives!!).
You’re not that much older than me, then.
I saw an amateur team of fat people there shirts all said ‘I am ninja’ and under that quote was a picture of them doing a drinking contest at a bar.
So it’s true, ninjas never fail!
Ninjas’…ninja’s…ninjai…ninji? However you call it they are awesome.
w/e they are ugly losers and if u are inlove with em go become 1 u loser
Ok, I will! And when I’m a ninja I will hunt down all the ‘faggötry like “No u are a loozr! dis iz l33t!”
Once you go hairy, you don’t go back.
Aw man! I just shaved my head!
I am the hairiest Troll hunter of all
Oh yeah well im *looks at assorted troll hunter papers* probaly the newest troll hunter.
Dont we all have a little hairy in us?…
faggötry?huh wut dat?
*looks really disappointed since there is no hope left for this one*
Just walk away Hairy.
Just. Walk. Away.
*starts counting to calm down* 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…
*walks away*
ya run away u little….(cant think of nuffin)
What’s a nuffin?
*gets out troll translator*
Apparantly it means “Nothing”.
Darn- I thought it was baked goods.
think about it u idiot use a little brain power(if u got a brain to use)
Look at your comments and then look at everyone else's. Then answer me this one question, who is the one lacking brain power?A brain? Where can I get one?
Check the zombie fodder in-tray
Eat gifted children!
hope hahaah hope is for stupid religious people when they are in the down the hope for a better life like thats gonna happen
So, being religious is wrong?
no bot tecnicly but in a way yes
not*
What’s it my love?
confrontation of previous comment FAIL
(Dirty Hairy WIN)
Does this means it has finally realized that it’s non-existent?
Victory is sweeter then baconlube
What are you doing Hairy? Stop entertaining trolls right this minute. Go to your corner and think about what you just did.
This is not entertainment, I’m placing traps all over the place.
Hairy, you’re helping it to spam the place. Just sayin’.
But when it falls into my lava pit it’s gone, and we can have a party!
The sad thing about trolls – well one of the sad things – is that they need attention to confirm their existence. For them it doesn’t matter which kind of attention. If no one pays any attention to it, it will become increasingly unsure if it exists and will finally decide that it doesn’t. Then it will be gone.
I broke 70 of his 5 bones! He’s almost dead, a few more minutes should do, please Arthur?
Dunno what you did, but slugs don’t have bones, I believe.
Oh, so that where not bones.. Did I broke 70 out of his 5 eyeballs? :-O
No, it’s ok. Why do you ask?
Just wondering, I thought I heard something.
TROLL ALERT!!!!
*loads his salt-gun, I’m going to shoot that fatty!
*adds red pepper to salt gun*
Have fun!!!!
*installs Mace spray on salt&pepper gun*
O.k. that’s enough partners, I’m bringing troll home for dinner.
Marinated troll.
Do not want. We can feed it to the dogs but then they may get sick. Um…let’s just burn it.
Feed it to the Trolls!
Troll Cannibalism. Socially accepted practice.
Troll cannibalism is a good thing, the more they eat the less we have to try to ignore.
Won’t that inevitably produce some supertrolls? Darwinism…
Will they get Mad Troll Disease?
Supertrolls already know that they don’t exist so that’s a win-win situation Arthur!
They’ll turn into a Wendigo.
That would be bad.
Oh, god. burn that troll corps!
Wait – don’t burn them willy nilly, I have a bunch of orders for troll sandwhiches.
*fires up gas oven*
*oven failed to light*
awww dont be hatttin cuz ya dont know me
The 3 ‘w’s and the word ‘cuz’ makes me believe I don’t want to know you.
*Tries on hats*
*tries on gloves* Like the hat k@….pretty.
nothing beats a good hatting hat- like the gloves!
Why thank you dear! Nice gloves make swinging the bat so much more enjoyable. *practices anti-troll stance* I think these will do nicely.
lol well ur dirty go take a shower u hobo
Oh, yes I’m a hobo. Is that the reason why I’ve also got a job as a webdesigner, working on a 12000$ computer and I have a home?
if u say so
I say so.
Who are you talking to?
*covets 12000$ computer*
*covets the 12000$*
*lightning strikes Leila and Anniebunny*
Thou Shalt Not Covet!
Thout isht shirst!
LIGHTNING!?!?! Great, now my hair is singed too.
*hangs head in shame* I know Ms. B…..but its hard not to want it when you need it so much. I guess covet is the wrong word, though. I don’t want him to NOT have it and I have it instead. I want everyone to have it, including me.
I thought the coveting thing only applied to my neighbor’s wife. And I wouldn’t want her anyway.
Thats the short version, Brewski.
*politely asks God to bring down lightning on Mrs. B*
THOU SHALT NOT ASPIRE TO DIVINITY!
*Takes his computer back*
Stay of my computer, I need it. for some reason hehehehe
*covets Anniebunny coveting the 12000$*
!
1) awww – Aw,
2) dont – don’t
3) hatttin – hatin’ or hating
4) cuz – ’cause or because
5) ya – you
6) dont – don’t
(in insulting tone of voice) I find it unbelievable that you actually managed to get “know” right.
Spellchecker, I just want you to know, that I appreciate what you are doing. Many people do not know how to spell. Many of those people were supposed to fail Kindergarden, but their parents insisted they were at the top of the class. Honestly, I don’t know why you spend lots of time on FailBlog.org, but I do enjoy what you do.
This is the last time they let George Costanza head the Evacuation Plan Committee.
*golf clap*
*silent clam clap*
*zen clap*
*falling tree*
we are spreading the clap.
*hears a clap of thunder*
Who?
I very much support this evacuation plan.
I support your support of this evacuation plan.
And I support your support of his support for this evacuation plan if you support my support of course.
I support your support of Leila’s support of Mal’s support of this evacuation plan…and I’ve still got that cushy pillow for you.
Cross your heart support?
24 hour support
Hello. Thank you for calling Tech support. How may I assist you today?
Are we dealing with a user interface error here?
Possibly a syntax error. But it seems to be working fine now.
Where do I find the AltCtrlDel button?
Its right next to the AltF4 button I think. I may be wrong…I never wrote that down. But I heard if you click it you learn the sekretz of teh intertubeS!!111
*gets a glassy look in her eyes*
ZOMG!!!! For reals????? *runs around room excited*
No lolspeek, this is Failblog.
You’re just failing yourself. Somebody get a picture of this person and her IQ score on this website and that will probably be rated five thumbs down.
Yes. No. Maybe. I’m new. l’ll ask the boss. Please hold.
*musak version of Nirvana song plays in background*
*cobain rolling in his grave*
Wow…Ms B…is that a new hairstyl…Umm…
What have you done with your hair? I mean … err, it suits you and all, but … BYE! *flees*
Well, Leila, I happen to find it quite becoming! And, after rubbing her head, The mailman delivered a rebate check.
You…
rubbed her head?
It’s all buffed and shiny!
You can rub it too!
*rubs Ms B’s head*
I wish for a 4 week vaction.
*rubs Ms B’s head*
I wish for Jules to receive a 4 week vacation.
*head proves to be toooo slippery. Slips and falls on her face* OUCH!
*picks Leila up hands her ice for the bruise*
Your suppose to use your hands to rub her head, but thanks for the help.
Go!
Jules, you have been looking dog-tired lately. I really think you should take some extra time off. Is 4 weeks enough?
He just came back from a honeymoon. That’s enough isn’t it?
I could use 4 more weeks of honeymoon.
I think we could all use 4 weeks of honeymoon!
I’d marry Jules just to get the 4 week honeymoon. I hear doggy style is good.
Loyal and obedient, we aim to please.
You aim too, please.
I’ll get it right this time I promise.
Really? Nice! How much did you want for it?
Two hugs and another dance.
*squeeze*, *enfolds*
Now let’s dance!
*dances her tush off with Hairy*
Wopla! *jumps in the split and slides up on his feet again*
*watches in horror*
Well, I guess we were bound to go to the ER today.
I think we’re fine, as long as Brewski keeps his pants on.
*does the only dance she knows* Go Hairy!!!
The chicken dance? That’s…sexy? Or not, rather.
You’ve got some moves, honey! *smiles and starts tapdancing*
*checks belt is good and tight*
*joins dancing*
No…worse…the macarena….the international dance for the totally uncoordinated.
*avoids dancing all together*
That only gets me in trouble!
I prefer the Bunny Hop myself.
-
*starts hopping for no reason*
I like the Foxtrot, although I am fond of swing too. Hustle if the music is right and cha-cha in a pinch.
Salsa!
Great! I brought the chips!
Is it too early for fortified orange juice? I work nights you know. *looks hopeful*
Can I cut in?.
*dons athletic supporter*
I am very supportive! I mean, supported!
What tha???
Does your cup runneth over?
Maybe
Looks like half full to me.
Nothing plastic surgery can’t fix.
See if your cup is half full, that means there is more room to add alcohol.
I would rather not drink from that cup, thang-kew-veddy-much!
Me either.
thang-kew-veddy-much! ?
I get plenty of emails for SHE WILL LUV YOU NEW LARGENESS and such. I’m contacting all of them.
Yes Man
SHE WILL LUV YOU NEW LARGENESS ?
?
?
This plan is vague…
What if, say, I where carrying scissors?
If you stab someone, you would be in the clear because you did what the sign told you to do. MUST OBEY SIGN!!!!
You should scream FIRE FIRE FIRE first. Then drop those scissors and run like its recess and you’re in kindergarten!
But, what if there is no fire?
-
I gotta say, this is a much better plan than the one Bush had for hurricanes Katrina and Rita.
Really?
Was that more like:
1) Go to nearest kindergarten.
2) Run but don’t run as fast as you can.
3) If(fire)
Yell(“FIRE FIRE FIRE”);
Else
Yell(string.random);
4) Throw scissors in uncontrolled directions.
?? ’cause that would’ve sucketh, yes.
Haha! ); else Yell(string.random);
I’m crying out of laughter.
More along the lines of thinking like a kindergartener who’s living for recess. It’s all in the mindset.
I know I’m new, but I thought #3 was safety.
That’s right, but this is not made up by one of us.
This was the plan of a guy name W.
Oh I see.
Why is it President Bush's fault? We as Americans just keep pushing the blame off on someone else instead of taking responsibility for diseasters like this. Our founding fathers would rolling over in their graves if they knew how much power we keep forcing on the federal goverment.Cuz President Bush doesn’t like black people.
Okay, all kidding aside, I am just making a silly statement. Politics is the last thing I want to discuss but the flaw IMO is in the government. They make it too easy for people not to be accountable for their own actions.
wtf? I intended to italicize the word ‘just’. Oh well.
You did. You just italicised everything else too.
Silly Leila.
teehee!
*tickles Moomin*
Was it the government’s fault?
You read the Pendragon books? I <3 them!
Ah, but the people are fundamentally flawed, and the government is only a representation of the people. Now a day’s people are out for them selves trying to make the quick easy buck. That mentality spills over into the government, heck it probably draws those types of people in, like a moth to the flame.
IMO the thing that is wrong with this country is the lack of accountability of a good portion of the population. It’s no longer asked not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. Instead it’s what is in it for me and how can I get the next buck without doing work.
*considers selling that comment for a lot of money*
Exactly!!! Let’s not get started on illegal immigration.
*stops packing suitcase and sidles out*
You started it. Actually I don’t see anything wrong with it. I think this country needs people who are willing to do a honest days work for an honest days pay.
The argument goes well they just come in to this country and suck up health care and the public school system. However we already have plenty of Americans that do the same. I say if they are willing to work then why not give them a green card welcome them to the country, then start taxing them.
Speaking of taxes I think we should legalize weed and prostitution. Just tax the hell out of it, like we do with cigarettes.
I don’t have a problem with the people who come in here illegally, I have a problem with the government’s red tape. They just do not make it easy.
not to mention it costs $$$ I used to volunteer in a program that helped immigrants. I was shocked at how difficult it truly is to ‘get legal’ in the U.S. I also didn’t know that immigrants of different origins get treated different!
And salvia, which has medicinal use. And grows as weeds pretty much anywhere it can take root.
Forest Gump escape plan
From the stinky cheese man!
lol i read that story lol funny version of gingerbread man
This fail is powered by BFF.
*SNORK*
No screaming?
Just some minor yelps.
*screams at top of lungs*
Oh, sorry.
*Tries to draw scissors out of name’s back.*
*turns red of anger*
What now, (You)?? Can’t you see I’m iVac’ing?
I guess it’s ok to scream and wave your hands in the air. As long as you run, that is.
Just don’t run up the stairs to the 3rth stairwell. That just takes you to the escalator to nowhere.
And don't forget 'run as fast you can'.Damn, I always forget that part! Can’t they put up a sign reminding me?
Good one, Arthur!
*bows*
*waits*
*puts on trousers again, leaves disappointed*
*takes the ‘censored’ from mr. cuddles and gives it to Authur* I didn’t refresh in time…
*leaves disappointed*
*desperately wants a ‘censored’ as well*
Ohhh Arthur I am so sorry….;( *rubs Authur of the censored sign, writes in Arthur*
Hehe!
*sneaks up behind Arthur*
*yanks*
Wedgie surprise!
Finally!
*squeezes* Judy and Authur
Where is BFF today? Did his test go well?
*squeeze*
Haven’t seen bff yet today.
*feels left out because “Authur” gets all the attention*
*realizes mistake, offers basket of cookies as an apology*
*biggest bunny squeeze she can give* Thank you for your patience, Arthur.
*squeeze*
Don’t worry, schitt happens. Ignore it down there VV.
What a moany pony you are today!
*pats head*
Awwww, poor baby.
… You can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread man.
*catches him*
*is somewhat disappointed*
What? Gingerbread man doesn’t tasete good?
*tastes*
Ptew!! Tastes like… spiders.
Shhhhh… *whipsers: That’s part of the secret recipe*
Whispers fail.
*splashes milk on Gingerbread man*
looks more like a gingerbread boy to me
With a crowbar!
I almost got the Troll where I want it…
*takes his zippo out of his pocket*
*snaps on latex gloves* So…are we ready, Hairy? I called Schitt Happn’s just in case it gets messy…
Good thing, I bought a whole pack of backwards ‘b’s in case we need to type something.
Beeeeeep. This has been a test. If this had been a real emergency… we most likely would have died.
*pushes red button in the middle of keyboard*
Take cover!
*runs, runs as fast as she can*
I am a little disappointed I though the red button on my keyboard did something cool. Apparently it just moves my mouse, what a disappointment.
*BOOM*Oh come on I take one day off of commenting and you blow the place up. I thought I was supposed to set the charges. And you also had a troll battle while I was gone too. *sniff*
Ok ok! It’s over the Troll is dead, this was not a test.. We are safe, for now.
Good!
This is the first time in history that a troll realizes it doesn’t exists without ignoring it! Today is a big day with a lot of progression.
This calls for a celebration…YAAAAAAAAY!!!!
Wooohoooo, let’s go the themepark!
But I get sick on the rides *sulks*
Let’s just go to the beach. We can have mai tais while we are there.
And they shall return, in greater numbers.
O.k. here’s the plan.
1) We act like homos.. Since they all hate everyone that’s different from their selves they will be terrified and leave immediately.
Hmmm. Bags not.
I don’t think this is a fail. More of a win, I’d say.
Audi FAIL!!
No, BMW Win!
No, shadows! It’s Audi WIN!
*cries*
*tickletickletickle*
*squeeze*
That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it? *is tickled*
That and *squeeze*
I am pretty simple and easily amused
I was told yesterday that I was too easily amused, all because I liked Avis’ big red button.
I liked the big red button.
I keep poking the red button but all it does is move my hand around.
Will you stop that my bum hurts enough as it is!
*hands Teff some hemorrhoid cream* This will help you a little.
Hey. I have been highly amused by that red button several times now. Trust me… use it to your advantage and give it to co-workers. It will make your day.
Don’t forget sweet! *tastes* Tee hee.
That’s because I’m a marshmallow
*ticklesqueeze*
Look at that! It must be cold in here. *wink*
*sticks chocolate then Moomin on a stick and starts roasting on fire*
*puts between graham crackers*
-
Delicious!!!
*sigh*
Leila, Leila, Leila. Why must I keep having to repeat myself. You know by now that we do not eat our Fail Blog friends. I’m very disappointed in you!
*ashamed*
*puts Moomin back together*
I am sorry. I won’t happen again.
I always wanted a lick of jam, but I follow the rules.
It was a moment of weakness Jules. It won’t happen again or Ms B will have my head for sure. Resist licking the jam. RESIST Jules.
I’m only this disappointed because we have had this talk multiple times. You should know better by now.
Yes…I know Ms B.
*looks at the ground*
I will be good.
*Eats Leila*
Nomnomnomnomnom.
*burps*
*smacks moomin in the back*
Spit her out, I miss her already.
Wow…for a Moomin you sure do have a big mouth.
-
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go shower and get Moomin saliva off of me. I will need band aids for all the teeth marks tto.
-
MS B!!!! MOOMIN JUST TRIED TO EAT ME!!!!!
No offense Moomin, but that kinda creeps me out.
I’m not really a marshmallow.
Sorry. I wasn’t clear. It is the thought of you as a marshmallow that creeps me out.
Did you say marshmellow?
*squeeze and sniff*
Why?.
What do you mean audi win or fail?.
Nothing, that’s just some poetry I wrote.
I have an audi belly button.
Happy Monday everyone! *sips his decaf coffee and smiles happily*
It’s tuesday.. Right?
*checks calender* Yep…
3 hours of work left for me! then 1 week holiday and Theeen… a bloody exam >:-(
Mr. MBPandSotATI it is Tuesday better get a fresh cup of coffee.
*squeeze*
Happy Monday to you too
Nah, it’s Crappy Teusday today.
We’re supposed to just let him think it’s Monday. That way he’ll come into work on Saturday and we can all laugh at him and make fun!
Pfft thanks MsB!
*smooooch*
sorry, if you had given me the heads up I would
of played along Ms B.
It is my Monday. Over the summer we get to work 4-10’s and I get off on Mondays, so now my Tuesdays are Mondays.
I get off every night.
Malicite, are you okay sweetie? Come over here and lay down for a bit.
I drank too much this weekend :/ *squeezes all around*
I took off yesterday to recover (which I actually didn’t need)…so I am all over the place today…
Well, at least you didn’t say “What year is it?”, or that would be awkward.
*squeeze*
There! There!
Did you hang out with Brewski over the weekend?
I don’t think the world could handle that…
See you tomorrow my friends, I’m off!
Bye Hairy. *squeeze*
Bye Hairy! *bunny squeeze* don’t forget your pillow.
WTF all u people are messed up
*squeezes*>>>> messed up
*squeeze*
You need a friend?
Hey, if I just give you a *squeeze* will you turn that WTF into a FTW?
*super squeeze*
I will do my best, but I don’t have magical powers.
Oh, and *squeeze*
*squeeze* We need at least four squeezes a day for optimal well being.
*squeezes everybody above*
Don’t worry it took me a while to figure out what the heck was going on here too!
What do you mean, “you people”?
Hooray! My post on ICHC finally came through. Today we conquer ICHC, tomorrow the world!! BWAHAHAHAAA!
icanhascheezburger.com/2009/05/30/funny-pictures-scratching-post-again/
Lol… though I would think the cat would be worried about the dog farting.
Why the crap is my comment awaiting moderation? ICHC doesn’t like me I guess. I’ll take that as a good thing.
Did you make reference to a fallic symbol?
Nope, but it finally made it through the filters!
Mine was, too. Weird. Maybe they don’t understand anything but lolspeak.
Wow! I just perused the page a little and I am dizzy. How can they stand ‘talking’ like that?
It kinda makes my head hurt. *sits down hard* I feel a little….*passes out*
Look what those idiots at ICHC did. *fans Anniebunny* Poor thing.
*gives smelling salts to Annnie*
I think ICHC is suspicious of any post that doesn’t use LOLspeak.
*comes around* Ok…no more lolspeak for me.
Ms. B I love you but I’m not going back in there…
It didn’t like my second post. Right under Authur’s anal birth, I said ‘i farted…and there it was!’ which was a reference to a loldogs post.
*starts to dislike “Authur” because that guy apparently stole the joke*
*hangs head in shame*
*squeeze (again)*
Who’s Author? He was mentioned further up the thread, too. He must be one terrific dude.
*takes the bukkit, sits in the corner* stupid snails.
*plays sad music* Brewski, I tried my hand on a pun-run on the previous fail and you didn’t even notice. *sniff* That hurts man! *sob*
I think you were dealing from the bottom though.
I think she’s got an ace-pun in the hole.
*sigh* I’m one two short of a full house.
What a bunch of jokers!
*waggles his phallic symbol at the moderation*
You gotta admit. It’s kinda cute.
Only in moderation.
Wha?!?!
Ahhh, there there Leila, I’m sorry!! Don’t give up! I must have been too distracted by all the handless failbloggers wandering about.
OK Leila, I posted a response in the prior fail.
failblog.org/2009/06/09/skin-care-fail/?cp=2#comment-460584
You mean I pass?
BRB
*squeals like a little girl* Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
*takes Malicite’s phallic symbol and pokes Brewski w/it*
I think I did it again!! See my response when you get a chance.
O.o O.O XP
cant catch me im that gingerbread man!
and i am zee hungry wolf.
any rivers you need help crossing, matey?
Nooo Cloe it is a trap.
oh i don’t think it’s a fail, it’s short and simple. What’s wrong with that =) hehe
I just went to loldogs…
*shivers*
We invaded lolcats earlier today.
We were labled an island of sanity.
I’ve not ventured into loldog comments. ICHC was enough.
I like living on this island Ms B. It suits me just fine.
*hands Malicite a stiff drink* Sorry to hear that.
You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man.
Gingerbread man count – 3.
The jig is up!
HOW IS THIS A FAIL??? SEEMS LOGICAL TO ME.
ONCE AGAIN, FAILBLOG FAILS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PATHETIC
This sounds like a sound course of action in an evacuation, waving your arms about a bit couldnt hurt either.
Well, technically running *could* result in tripping and falling, thus delaying YOUR evacuation, as well as obstructing other people from evacuating; that’s why evacuation directions typically are to “walk quickly” away from the building. But…
…yeah, still more like Evacuation Plan WIN.
Run run run, as fast as you can, you can’t catch me, I’m the Ginger-fail man.
Can’t catch me because I’m the gingerbread man!
You can totally catch me because I am the Gingerbread Man. Cookies have no endurance, I swear.
*catches Malicite with a giant SQUEEZE*
*SQUEEZE*
Now you hold the Gingerbread Man!
this should be an evacuation plan win!
This is a definite win
a bunch of kids did that at my school. The school called a giant meeting because the fire department found it. >.>
you cant catch me,im the gingerbread man!!!
thats about how i feel about my education right now
just curious, probably because ive never actually had to leave a burning building….
does anyone calmly and quietly leave a flaming room?
You can’t catch me, I’m the evacuation plan! ;D
Post of the day. I always enjoy a good lol before bed.
Still better than ours, our fire instructions are:
Step 1: Yell: Fire! Fire!
Step 2: Try to extinguish it
Step 3: Call the fire department
Step 4: WAIT patiently for help
There is no mention of triggering the alarm, or actually going outside.
Following posts may contain:
5: ?????
6: Did he ….
6: did he dial 3333?
You forgot Safety and Profit.
I haven’t waded through all the comments, but I might not consider this one a FAIL. Pretty sound advice there…
Popopopo!
As if thats a fail, that is a WIN all the way
Wish they put those in my schools, we would pass government inspection with flying colours
It’s a WIN if you ask me.
LOL!
This was actually the only evac plan given when my hub worked with battery strings. Once the chemical reaction starts you had better run…..not fail at all!!
..You can’t catch me I’m the Gingerbread man!!!!
“IT’S ESCAPED!! ACTIVATE LOCKDOWN PROCEDURE 9273!”
“Which one’s that?”
“THE ONE WHERE WE RUN REALLY REALLY FAST!!!”
*ZOOM*
I would call this one a win. lol
You can’t catch me I’M THE GINGERBREAD MAN!
but no one can catch the gingerbread man! (this just popped into my head when i read this!)
No matter how meticulously you plan these things, that’s about how a real evacuation always ends up…
Well… Its a good plan. Very thought out.
I know this, this is from the University of New Orleans! My old Liberal Arts building. I used to see this every day.
Rund and run as fast as you can. You can excape… BECAUSE YOU”RE THE GINGERBREAD MAN mwuhahhaahhahhahhahah
I’d say thats more of a win
very good evacuation plan haha:D
“You can’t catch me I’m the fireman!!!”
HAHA, terrible. This is in the Performing Arts Building at the University of New Orleans. I know because I go there.
I don’t see what the problem is…that’s my plan.
Why is this a fail? It’s logic. And even if there was a proper plan, many people “Run and run as fast as they can” anyway.
I go for win here too…much more efficient. It just needs an arrow to point which way to run.
so who else has ‘accidentally’ tripped a fire alarm before? I have, was walking, kinda running my fingers along the wall as i was going and before I knew it I tripped the emergency fire alarm. We all had to assemble outside the hotel i was working at and got interrogated as to who the culprit was….i’m such a fail sometimes.
i think mines fried
hehe your name sucks
this is a win
good advice! lol
the fire won’t get me
I’M THE EFFING GINGERBREADMAN!
Can’t argue with that logic!
and how come EVERYONE manages to get off topic when chatting on these sites? before brewski’s last comment for example!
… You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!
good plan
Everyone simulatinously try to squeeze your fat asses thought the door. Push and shove people PUSH AND SHOVE!
fail, or win?
I’m with you on this one.
…you cant catch me im the gingerbread man!
ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!
run for your fillings! run!