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CAse #13 even!
did she die?
Yeah, happy 13… always lucky. Muahaha !
the dude she landed on died, serious. He was my neighbours friend,had a heart attack.
With a smile on his face, no doubt.
IZ HE DED INNIT?
Grammar lesson 1:
“Is he dead innit?”: unexisting construction.
Closest:”He’s dead, isn’t he?”.
Spelling lesson 1:
…
Why even bother?
This new monster seems to be from a deprived area of the UK. His English here matches that of wannabe “gangstas” who call each other “blood” in London. Everytime I hear this guys speaking I want to scream at their abomination of the language.
lolz i want me sum of dem fun puppies in my face.hahaha. Boobs to old guys face win.
IT WAS HIS FIRST HARD PENIS SINCE 1962. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That poor old guy was made blind by a nipple to the eye
thats lucky
Quote:
“Sidney says:
June 8, 2009 at 11:58 am
IT WAS HIS FIRST HARD PENIS SINCE 1962. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Lmfao!
erection to big of a word for ya???
Post win! ^^
I watched a documentary lately on the knifings in the UK. The youngsters who
were being interviewedwere being prodded to speak uttered similar sounds.incidently, does anyone know when ‘stabbings’ were replaced with ‘knifings’? It is common place in the news, but I am sure it is only a recent phenomenon, no?
Unfortunately this is another curse the US has brought upon the world. It started with the urban gangland “ebonics,” but like anything truly stupid teenagers everywhere latched onto it and warped it into something even more ridiculous than it was. Talking cabbage like this is why I hate all forms of hip-ho-.
*removes -, replaces with p*
Just don’t ignore the horror that is the hip-ho-.
Oh my god – what is that thing. If it rains will that thing so away?
Just click your heels and chant, “there’s no such thing as that” over and over again.
…but the hip-ho-potamus could eat the lotofus.
(Translation)
3, it’s Katerina!Katerina can you come closer?Op opa opa OPA!(It’s how us,greeks tell you to stop, and look out, or something like that :>)
agreed.
I really would like to know when it became cool to be stupid. And I would like to say that I am decidedly happy to un-cool in this regard.
I think about the time rap came along. I still refuse to believe that this noise pollution is called “music”.
Look, guys…the evolution of linguistics is a lot more complicated than this, with many cultural significances and influences. It is incredibly facile and reductive to dismiss a mode of speech as “ignorant” or “stupid” without understanding its roots and its fundamental role and importance to specific cultures.
Just because something irritates YOU doesn’t mean it is pointless and unimportant.
I was referring to what seems to be an attitude that says being smart, and also sounding smart is a bad thing. I do know that it has (on some levels) been around for a while. Hence the phrase “Too cool for school”. It seems to be much more prevalent than when I was in school.
America has had an anti-intellectual attitude for a long, looooong time.
The UK is on the other end of the spectrum, and has the most over-tested children in the world. Schools are only preparing children for their exams now. It’s ridiculous.
…And this is the price we pay for that attitude.
.
I have to argue with you, DW. It’s not evolution of linguistics. It’s devolution of linguistics. *squeeze*
It’s so sad though. Why is this country SO obstinate about it? (Meant in a general sense, of course.)
Languages change…and people have always–ALWAYS–fought against it. The language you are speaking right now would make Chaucer absolutely faint with horror. Many people think that American English itself is a “devolved” language (in fact, many people on this blog over the past year have said that very thing). So, while I respect your right to call it what you like, I will continue to be fascinated by not only HOW language changes, but WHY. And it will continue to make me uncomfortable when people denigrate and dismiss such important cultural markers.
Dragon, as somewhat of an amateur lingu…linguicic…linguini I totally agree with you and I apologis/ze if I seemed condescending about certain social groups’ usage of the language. I also want to take the opportunity to further elaborate on what you said about Chaucers’ fainting. You don’t have to go back seven centuries to notice a difference. I registered quite some changes and new manners of speech in Dutch myself. People only five years younger than myself and having had comparable education use words and constructions I would never dream of using myself.
But to go back to Avis’ original question – Why is there such an anti-intellectual attitude in the USA? Why is it cool to not be smart? This has been bothering me for years.
(and I’m not talking a bout the evolution of language. Personally I find it fascinating).
Because it helps shift the blame away from taking responsibility for one’s own actions. The best chance one has to improve their lot in life is through education, but it takes work, commitment, and time. Those that are afraid to take that journey or seek a quicker path will downplay it.
Personally, I think people are inherently insecure. They feel threatened by smart people. They don’t like to be made to feel stupid. People are more comfortable with people on their own level. This is not a good environment for politics. If you are electing the leader of a country, wouldn’t you want to elect the smartest, wisest, and best qualified candidate? Smart=elitist=threatening
Admiral and Brewski make good points. But it still drives me up a wall!
A fun thought exercise:
Count how many scientist/scholar good guys you can remember from 80s/90s TV and movies. It may take a while, but shouldn’t take more than one hand. (Note: Giles from Buffy doesn’t count. Real scholars.)
Now count how many twistedly-evil (not mad) scientists/scholars you can remember who were plotting to turn people into guinea pigs, destroy the world, take over the world, etc.
Finally, remember back to the 2000 voting: One of Bush’s central themes was that he was a regular guy, whereas Gore was a nerd. Remember that Bush’s retort to Gore’s facts and figures wasn’t to produce credible figures of his own, but to mock them as “fuzzy math,” and claim they would lead to losing the prosperity we had at the time.
‘Cause those eebil scientists are just out to control people and make up crazy schemes like global warming, food-safety inspections, pollution control, world health monitoring, etc to gain power… over… something, we just don’t know what yet. *repeatedly bangs head against brick wall*
Admiral/Brewski: Uhhhh, yeah… well, you’re another one, so there! (O.o)
More seriously, you have excellent points – but it’s hard to know how to challenge that kind of thinking, or help people raise their sights, when you’re as likely as anything to get a response not too far from the above. American mass-media is not conducive to learning or maintaining critical thinking skills.
The fear of intellectualism also has really strong historical roots. Many of our ideas and attitudes actually come from the middle ages, when knowledge and learning was only in the hands of the church and the elite (because they were the only ones who could read and/or afford books). It is understandable to have a fear and hatred of those who hoard knowledge all to themselves and oppress everyone else.
What doesn’t make sense is holding on to these attitudes when the circumstances are completely different and that knowledge and learning is more readily available.
But Dragon, the USA was founded by the single most intelligent group of people (in my opinion). I can’t think of another country that was founded this way, with so much thought going into it. Why did that attitude die?
That’s when the country was all bright and shiny and new. People were idealists then, bent on change. After a time, though, they fell back into old habits and patterns, as humans are wont to do.
Smart people being portrayed as evil in media has been around for a lot longer than the 80′s. Most old fantasy stories have a stupid warrior as the hero, who triumphs over the evil wizard.
In America, the anti-intellectual trend is also related to a early devotion to “honest hard work”, which was construed to mean keep your head down, don’t think, and keep doing manual labor, blindly assuming that you’ll be appropriately rewarded. And maybe at the time, it actually worked that way.
Smart people are feared by stupid people because the smart people have the ability to manipulate, deceive, and take advantage of the stupid people, and it’s assumed that with ability automatically comes the desire to do so.
The strong influence of religion in the USA, especially Christianity, also is responsible for this rampant anti-intellectualism. Christianity is very hierarchical and authoritarianism, and anti-intellectualism is the main deceptive method (as opposed to the open use of force) that such a structure uses to protect itself and remain in power. A religion that was actually secure in its tenets would have nothing to fear from education, thought, or scientific exploration. However, Christianity was largely a social control structure through the middle ages in Europe, developed to inspire fear and obedience, rather than make sense.
I’d raise modern China as a different form of anti-intellectualism. They’re very conflicted, because they realize the advantage to be gained from education, but still want to squash independent thought. They want scientists, but no philosophers. They want their people to think, but only about certain things and in certain ways.
Very well put.
*squeeze*
czuhc- will you marry me? I have an actual linguini degree and you made me laugh….
Dragonwriter did you hear the latest stats on the English language?. Anew word is introduced every 98 minutes. You wonderful books will be hard to read by the older generation LOL.
The elite could be the rich or the powerful?.
If you want to know why it has become cool to be dumb, just look at the role models we have in our society. The “skip college to go to the NBA player”, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, The hip hop star that dropped out of middle school, Paris*fing*Hilton. As long as we keep glorifying these monuments to ignorance (as funny/entertaining as they are) we will see this trend continue.
please do not compare ebonics to slang. though ebonics is not considered a valid language that is separate from english it was once up for debate. the reason behind this was that the english was not just a slang but a combination of grammar and enunciation from different african tribes amalgamated with english. Further more not all hip-hop is crap only the shit in the mainstream… i have listened to immortal technique, promoe, and aesop rock to name a few and all enjoyed the politics behind them (obviously its not the main music i like but whatever) and know i did not spell promoe wrong you linguistic halfwits
Just curious, can you name any examples of ebonic words that are etymologically descended from “African tribes” rather than a combination of pidgin and creole?
Grammar nazi fail. Dude, it’s a FAIL FORUM. Who the hell cares?
… other than you, of course.
Did he grandma?
learn lolspeak! the language born of the interwebs
But forbidden here!
*smashes POTUS270 with mallet*
*dumps squished troll into bin*
*dumps contents of bin into incinerator*
thank you so much for that, I was really bothered, and had no clue what so ever-_-
Damnit, I have to call Failblog to ban you again.
These Youtubers are so lame and uninteresting.
.
I’m not sure which group is more pathetic, though. The FISRT’ers or these death ones.
Firsters. The others will die soon (ha!) because it’ll get boring fast.
Though, I suspect that we only have one”did he die” idiot who makes various new accounts to seem like a different person is posting it.
Tinklenator, come out of spooner slowly and with your hands in the air. Put the “Add Comment” down now.
I ALREDDY DIDZ INNIT,LATERZ POTATERZ
Well that proves it! You are SOOOOOOOOOO not a “gangsta”!
No self-respecting “gangsta” would use THAT word combination!
BLUP BLUP.
Did he really just call us potatoes? Not this again…
clicky (my 1st ever)
I doubt it. They have been on youtube for a while and simply cannot be exterminated.
I rofl’d at that. Brings back memories [:D]
U IZ SO FULL OF IT, WOT U THINK U IZ. DA FAILBLOG FILTH? FAILBLOG IZ NOT CARIN AND DO NOT BANZ. PWER 2 DA PPL!!!!
Actually, Youtube doesn’t ban people. Failblog does. Regularly.
Exatcly. That’s why the youtube is full of douchebags. I rarely post there or post in videos with low view counts.
In popular videos, people pretty much call each other “gay” for no reason.
H8R
♫Ban, ban you, I’ll shoot you down with my love gun, baby♫
Infant.
Avis. *chides* How could you? Just smile and nod and move on. You have too much talent, beauty and wit to waste it on one of those.
IT DONT MATTA THO BRUV INNIT. THEY JUZT BAN DA EMAIL ADRESS INNIT. N DAT AINT EVEN REAL.
That’s not exactly how it works.
Unfortunately it is.
Noop. It’s not. They can put your IP address into a filter so that all posts from that address get caught.
No IP bans? Rats. There goes my ray of sunshine.
*Hits refresh*
My ray of sun is coming back. Thank you DW for hope.
My pleasure, aiki.
*squeeze*
Only problem is ISPs which use “roving” IP addresses – i.e., your IP address is never the same…
Nevertheless, they can catch a lot of them with IP blocking. And we really should just ignore them. There’s nothing of value in their posts anyway; once I realize it’s just another idjut post I just breeze past it.
WN, with enough bans, he gets his neighbo(u)rhood banned from blogging. Since a range of ip’s are available to certain areas and they all share a specific bandwidth.
Why ban someone for posting what they believe is funny?
Discriminatorying seems to just be playing the game, and all who reply are hitting the ball back into his court.
Let’s all just laugh it off.
Have a great day all!
Matthew
It is like playing punch for punch with a much bigger person. You want them to stop annoying you, so you punch em back once. Then they continue to punch you and irritate you. Well, we want this person escorted away so no further damage can be incurred.
Honestly you unspeakable dumbfounded baboon, can you quit that style of writing? You think that’s cool?
Look, guys…can we–the real Failbloggers–make a deal? Can we agree to simply not respond to these people’s posts anymore, please? You are simply encouraging them and giving them the attention they so desperately deserve. If one is in your way, just talk around it…start a new thread, if need be, to continue a conversation or pun-run. Just don’t, in any way, acknowledge their presence, and they’ll go look for “fun” elsewhere.
Please?
*hopefully holds up a written petition with a single dragon signature on it*
*crosses out “deserve” and replaces it with “crave”*
I need more coffee.
*shamed*
Momentary weaknees.
*signs petition*
*signs DW’s petition*
I’ll even agree to stop throwing them into the Sun.
*sign, sign, pass*
I think I can do this.
I thought we all signed on this before the weekend…
U IZ RIGHT DRAGZ WE IZ DESERVIN RESPEC. PEACE BRUVA
*signs petition*
sign, sign, pass?
*signs using large script*
Agreed.
*butt & thumb print, pass*
*feels a little better*
Thanks, guys.
*potato-prints name*
Signs it 3 times (I live in Illinois).
*signs with his own blood, passes (out)*
*signs with toes*
.
Sorry! I got caught up in the moment, being ‘not second’ and powerful on this one. It kind of made my day!
.
I’m usually pretty good at avoiding the FISRTers. These death ones just annoy me since I know where they come from.
This is going to require much will-power.
*stabs discriminatorying, uses blood to sign*
We were supposed to sign with blood to make it binding, right?
See you all in about 5 hours!
I’ll be more than happy to sign your petition, DW.
Thanks.
U PEEPZ IZ LIKE DA BORG ALL MUVIN AN TINKIN AS 1 ENTITY INNIT. I IS CPTN PICKARD AN I IZ GONNA DESTROY UR COLLECTIVE. SHIZZEL 2DA NIZZEL. I IZ GOT PPLZ ON DA INSIDE ALREADY, DEY WILL NOT BE ARTIFICIALLY INSEMINATED OR WOTEVA IT IZ U BORG DO. I IZ PUT DAT IN GEEK TERMZ SO MORE OF UR ENTITY WILL GETZ IT. PEACE OUT. U WILL BE FREED.
*signs*
*bring out covered basket*
Can we eat cookies now?
*hands out large plate of cookies*
Absolutely.
*pops in to sign petition and then moseys on back to work* *squeeze*
*hands out cookies*
*and mimosas*
*grabs cuddles as he’s heading out the door*
.
SQUEEEEEEZE
*squeezes cuddles from behind*
*signs enthusiastically*
From a lone dragon signature, creatures and people of all type, nationallities, and race, join together to create a peaceful and (grammatically) correct fail blog.
*signs petition*
*rubs lamp and wishes for a magical spam button*
Oh thank you! Consider me signed up.
*claws out from underground*
*sees petition, heads straight for it*
*signs petition in filth, ooze and maggots because he has no blood anymore*
*dives back underground before people start chanting “fire” again*
*hopes occasionally eating troll’s heads doesn’t count*
Whoops, nesting fail.
*signs again*
I wonder what I signed, then?
Erm…I’m sorry to tell you, BFF, but it looks like you signed the backside of a baboon down there.
*gets out of bed with the greatest reluctance*
*signs*
I’m going to pick up that pen with a pair of tongs and disinfect it now.
I SIGNZ INNIT
I did not sign before but have tried to ‘walk the walk’ It is really hard sometimes, other times I can just scroll by the silliness.
I do hope I can continue to serve up the occasional troll sandwhich – as they do not call out any particular post or person.
*signs*
*signs petition with a remarkable flourish*
*winks*
*signs with fountain pen*
On a side note, this does not mean that I will stop reporting some of them scumbugs.
I see some have yet to realize that that “gangsta” shithead is Tinklenator. As well as all the rest who said “did he die?”.
*Adds name to the petition.*
*signs*
I reserve my right to speak with my stalkers. Or not, depends on my mood. This INNIT-guy… *yawns*
Good night!
*squeezes Arthur*
Heaven forfend, I would never suggest giving up poking the trolls altogether.
Sweet dreams!
*sigh*
I signed this once, and my razzaflabbin’ post never showed up. I apologize in advance if this double posts.
*signs petition*
*takes a cookie and a mimosa*
I feel your pain – just a few minutes ago I posted my funniest, most creative, post ever – and it vanished!!
I think mine had to do with a clickie I had in my name. I tried to post it for the sober motivation fail, and that post never showed up, either. Oh well.
*shrugs and eats another cookie.
Though I am but an occasional poster, I read these boards regularly and would gladly sign for the chance to get these useless wastes of space out of my FailBlog experience. Yes, FailBlog is an experience.
*signs with gusto*
*offers SneakyNinja a cookie*
Well, apparently my comment is too racy. I signed the petition with a signature likened to that of one of the original signers of the Declaration in Independence. He apparently has a naughty name.
*takes cookie from Iusuallylurk ♀*
Mmmm…what’s in this? It’s delicious.
They’re dark side cookies. They taste good. Veeery good.
Well that can’t possibly be good…
Great, now I have the sudden urge to choke a troll. No wait, that’s normal…though the horns are new…
*signs petition and makes 500 copies to be distributed in mailboxes and failblog conventions*
Is it too late to sign? If not, is there a penalty for late submissions?
*illegible scribbles*
jam spoons
It’s not too late to sign, but it is too late to see many of the brainless comments that were removed.
jam got the good end of the deal!
Welcome to the Dark Side, SneakyNinja!
Well, petitions are fun to sign, and trolls are not, so *sign*
You don’t really know me yet, but you will. I apologize in advance.
Am I too late for the petition-signing?
*crosses fingers, hoping for a cookie crumb or two*
*signs with a back-handed, lefty flourish*
There! Thanks, Dragonwriter.
I just baked a new batch of cookies!
*hands them around*
Thanks for signing, guys. The Powers that Be banned the troll, but s/he may be back, so just remember…no talking to it!
*snorks softly at Johan*
*SIGNS!* Amen, DW.
*zooms back to organizing things in that quirky place RL*
*blinks*
Who was that masked, pink-iconed man who looked remarkably like Drb???
I think he switched from pineapple to fancy-sliced grapefruit today.
*signs with paw print*
Whew! Better late than never! Haha!
*takes one cookie*
*scampers in* *signs ♀nΣ time in what she hopes is a really šWε└∟ style* *squeezes this wonderful friend-amily newly found* and *says thank you from the foops for squeezes and good wishes several fails ago*
♥ Mr. foop is doing well and comes home today! ♥ YAY!! *performs the hoolah foop of joy and grins happily*
Okay DW, I’ll sign it… but, remember what you said:
Look, guys…the evolution of linguistics is a lot more complicated than this, with many cultural significances and influences. It is incredibly facile and reductive to dismiss a mode of speech as “ignorant” or “stupid” without understanding its roots and its fundamental role and importance to specific cultures.
Just because something irritates YOU doesn’t mean it is pointless and unimportant.
You said baboon!!
Isn’t that great!
.
I’m personally a fan of nincompoop.
I’m more a fan of dipshit
retarded mucas sphincter brain is a personal favourite
*signs*
Thats ur subscription to Man Love Monthly confirmed. Your first escort will arrive on 9th June at 12pm.
That baboon’s word is no good around here, BFF. Glad to have you aboard.
Difficult as it will be… *signs*
Welcome to Man Love Monthly
Afraid your escort will be round at 1pm still dripping after GBF has finished with him.
Whoops
Actually, there will be no escort. I impersonated GBF and had a little fun myself. Seems I donkey punched him a little too hard. Well, Schitt happens.
Its ok I have a spare he just needs emptying first. *Removes leftover fun juice, packages in smoothie cartons and sends to walmart*
Hes ready for action. Please make sure to lube him up hes had a tough week.
…and it’s only monday. Still, I know what you mean. It’s always hard work.
No, i see baned people from Youtube. Click in my name…
Failblog bans.
Power to the people, not power to the STUPID people like your mess. Ever wondered if we gave you numbnuts any sorts of power? You would destroy the entire world without knowing it!
I hope you can read what I wrote.
JUS CUZ I IZ NOT SPKIN LIKE U DUZ NOT MAKE ME BAD PERSON INNIT. TIZ U WHO PATRONIZEZ N TALKZ DOWN 2 WOT U DONT KNOW BRUV. PPL LIKE U IZ Y DER IZ GUN CRIME INNIT.
We are only “talking down” in hopes that you will understand what we are saying. You give us the impression that you don’t understand basic language skills and need things spelled out for you. Any interpretation of ill-intent is faulted back to you.
U IZ FOOLIN URSELVZ PPL INNIT.
TROLL COMPREHENSION FAIL INNIT
I thought these comment threads were supposed to be inhabited by intelligent people?
Because from your writing style we can all agree that you are incredibly stupid. a wannabe-gangster and undoubtedly uneducated.
Hey man, just a quickie……
The sentance in which you call him uneducated needs to start with a capital A.
…”sentance”??
*takes stone from Sidney*
*sends him back to his glass house*
Replace the “.” with “,”.
*snork*
You almost made me spit coffee on my screens.
*shakes head in general amusement*
Ummm…..JasonK that is class bigotry. You are assuming wannabe-gangster are a product of their education. Wrong it could be based on the environment eg: localised job markets seasonal or otherwise.
Number two writing styles are often based on again local dialect environment.
Three refer to yourself in what you agree not as a we, and turn it into a positive statement. thanks and I hope I didn’t offend you?.
I think you are the one who’s in error here. And it might just be me that thinks so, but there it is. I must say, this argument coming from you is ironic.
Wrong. The “uneducated” part goes to his lack of grammar and spelling skills. The “gangsta-style” is this annoying attitude he has produced himself.
Now there are writing styles full of errors as well? Ai dint new dat!
Wait, if you agree with that other chipmunk, you’re the one with the problem.
Failblog community is one.
Now there’s a hard claim to prove.
Look, if you want us to take you seriously and not lump you in with the rest of the trolls, then:
1. Stop with the retarded lolspeak. That belongs up on lolcats and loldogs.
2. Be nice.
3. Don’t post FISRT.
4. Don’t be a death-freak.
You asked him too many things at once; you might cause him brain trauma.
*whispers*
That was the point Jason. She was trying out a new way to kill trolls.
Right! Threatening never works. Degrading only works on the female kind. Brain trauma is my latest attempt.
The death ones are definitely more pathetic. The are also far, far more numerous unfortunately.
Fortunately, we should only have to put up with the death ones for a couple of months until school starts back.
.
When they look back on themselves in 10 years, They will realize how rediculously stupid they are.
If they are even alive in ten years and don’t earn a darwin award in the process.
You’ve got a point there, Zach.
did he die?
get with it. this is not the efforts of one man.
IT IS A REVOLUTION!
and “did he die?” is probably more relevant to the actual fail than what you morons constantly jabber on about in the comments
why do people always ask “did they die?”
because might be dead. durrrrrr
*looks around*
Has someone left their motor running?
*farts into hand*
*puts it to nose*
*realises it wasnt just a fart*
*licks nose*
*scootches away from dave*
*dons hazmat suit and shuts down building*
What I like more about this fail is that…
1) I guessed minutes before this that the next fail would be this
2) It is Greek! I watched it live and it actually happened a year ago.
You must be psychic, can you guess what kind of shoes I’m wearing? They’re from Japan.
Sadly my psychic powers activate only with things bonded to me, like Greek stuff.
I guess it was a really hard question, so I still think you’re psychic.
I’m going to the Greek restaurant in a minute, can you guess why?
To hope that a Greek waitress slips and falls onto you?
(Eat moussaka btw it’s good)
No, it’s not. Moussaka is the devil’s evil attempt to make lasagna. It’s really horrible, believe me.
Very close. I plan to hit on the hot Greek girl that works there. (I’ll be getting a Greek-style salad, and some humus. Have to go easy on what I eat at work.
)
“Humus is degraded organic material in soil, which causes some soil layers to be dark brown or black.”
Are you sure you want to eat that?
So long as it tastes like a chickpea paste covered in olive oil, kalamata olives and cucumbers, yes.
And garlic. You can’t forget the garlic.
But I thought hummus was chickpea paste with tahini and garlic and olive oil?
Depends on where you get it, and I assume who is making it. The hummus I got a few minutes ago was heavy on the olive oil and kalamata olives. Eaten with pita.
Yikes. I’ve had it a coupla times. Blech.
Gimme a Double Whopper with Cheese any day!!
Are you sure that was hummus Jimbo? As Avis pointed out, the main ingredient is chickpeas (garbanzo beans). Tahini is the sesame paste you put in it. You add other goodies if you want. What you describe sounds more like a tapenade *hope I spelled it correctly*.
Leila, try it with a few bits of chopped fresh red bell peppers and a “garnish” of feta on top. It’s amazing!
The hummus is just the base. What makes any hummus dish is what you put on it, and what you eat it with. All hummus itself is is the chickpea paste.
Ummm….nooooo. You’re wrong about that. Hummus has many ingredients, including tahini, lemon, garlic, and olive oil. Look up any hummus recipe to see.
Exactly – it’s like a Double Whopper with Cheese: 2 meat patties, cheese, bun, special sauce, tomatoes, lettuce… in short, a Thing of Great Joy and Beauty!
I make a mean hummus. It takes a day for the flavors to build.
*barfs*
You can keep your greaseburger, theng-kew-veddy-much.
*munches on a nice, crunchy apple*
….with a side of Admiral’s mean hummus!
Apple and hummus?! How does that work?
Hummus and Triscuits, with a side of apple. Yum!
I love feta!!! I recently read that it’s lower in fat too. Bonus. I like it spicy … oh man, you guys are making me hungry.
My mom makes some pretty good Hummus
Are they the “asshoe” shoes?
Of course they are, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that..
I liked the Voice from the Tomb that said “HOPPA HOPPA HOPPA”
It’s opa opa opa.
i feel dizzy
is it hot in here???
woah… every thing is red. woahhhh now its blue………..
WoAh Im GoInG tO pAsS oUt.,bfsdrts etya ;ityydrtcrfg
dfvjsbdviosdfjgvafrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggssssssssssssssssssssssssf
*splashes TM with a bucket of ice water*
wow what just happened???
oh yeah i forgot i was hanging upside down. :\
P.S. call me tofu
good night people!
F 2 da I, I 2 da R, R 2 da S, S 2 da T. HERE HE IZ, DA DISCRIMINATORYING M.C. YEAHHHH, INNIT.
FIRST
DONT B HATERZ. SHIZZLE TO DA NIZZLE
Wrong!
.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
AND you powered the fail too! Congrats!
Yay Velvet!
*throws confetti*
Woohoo! *hugs velvet*
A double for me! Woot! That makes it all the better. *squeeze*
*squeeze*
*squeeze again*
and for being so late to give you a squeeze…
*squeeze*
*bear hugs Aiki*
I believe I missed hugging you last fail. Let me fix that.
*bear hugs Aiki reeeeeally hard*
Aww… Thanks.
*squeeze back*
Look at this mess!!! Who is going to clean all this confetti on the ground now?
*sighs*
*goes to fetch the broom*
Let’s dress up all the trolls in little monkey outfits and make THEM do it!!
HAHA!! Good idea.
DONT SPRED DA HATE PEEPZ.
Then I recommend you leave.
i agree.
*shakes head disgustedly*
U IZ NOT CHILLD WIV DA GANG. U IZ NOT IN MA CREW
Wazza talkin about wannabe gangsta?
Want to see a real gangster and shit your pants?
BOY U IZ NOT NOIN WOT A REAL GANGSTA IZ. BLUP BLUP. DEM IZ MY CAPZ AN IM GONNA POP EM IF U IZ NOT SHOWIN SUM MOSSIVE RESPEC 2 DA MAN!
We show respect to those who can use the language properly. It is NOT cool to butcher it so.
Respect is earned, not given freely.
Respect is reserved for those who are somewhat equal. I may feel affection for a german shepherd, but I do not respect it. You on the other hand deserve neither.
(directed at discriminatorying, of course)
U IZ NOT EVEN NOIN WOT REAL RECPEC IZ BRUUVA
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it REALLY means. It helps if you spell it correctly, just a hint.
Well, it can be purchased on occasion… for the right price. Several celebrity examples come to mind…
I give respect to the highest bidder.
2.50….do I hear a 3?
As Ali G would say: “R.E.S.T.E.C.P! Do ya even know wha it spellz?”
I’d rather YOU find out wjat it means to ME.
What
damn
*hands technicolor a big cup of virtual coffee*
I think some caffeine will help.
http://www.learnenglish.org.uk/
P.S. I know what a real gangster is like.
So do I … I play one on San Andreas.
Wow! Is it possible for you to look less intelligent there? Pick up what’s left of your pride and do us all a favor and leave.
Unfortunately, there is a way for him to be less intelligent. I hope he doesn’t figure it out.
Thank GOD for small favors.
*takes butter knife and starts to spread the hate*
Leila!! That was a great pun-run, and you just ruined it!! Geez, didn’t you even pick up on it??
No.
*sniff* *cleans runny nose on Brewski’s shirt*
I am not changing my name until I learn to pun-run properly or realize that I have.
*throws shirt in autoclave*
Aww… there there. Your runny nose jogs my memory…
*sees that Leila isn’t going to run with the pun-run*
*lowers head and walks away*
We simply cannot always canter to your attempts to start pun-runs Brewski.
So you just skip past my posts?
*consults most recent Gallop poll*
Yup…apparently so. Sorry, Brewski.
Take it in stride, Brewski.
I have to just lope through the comments. I can’t be ambling through every post. I would never finish them.
Really? I always look forward to a pleasant stroll through the comments (minus the obvious exceptions.)
I prefer to roll through them because I can.
I shuffle through – up, down, back, forth.
(Can anyone explain why some comments don’t have reply buttons?)
It’s the new format CG. When the nesting limit is reached, you have to scroll up to find the reply button.
I guess I’ll just become a runaway!!
*picks some clothes out from walk-in closet*
*ties to stick*
*walks out, slamming gait behind him*
Sorry! I didn’t mean to make a shambles out of the thread.
You totally suckered me on that one! I was reading and desperately trying to find the pun run.
.
Brewski +1.
*searches frantically up and down the thread*
Where? I can’t find it! Where is it???
Gah! Me too.
Tee hee! I got it.
*SQUEEEEZES all Fail-weather friends*
Got what??!
*squeezes* all around.
*bear hugs DW*
Having a fairly good Monday?
I was until I came here. Then I started reading and just wanted to pitch my laptop through the window.
I understand you, DW. Were less trolls here in the “old times”?
I still don’t think this is a bad as Saturday was. I can at least talk around them today.
There are always less trolls when school is in session.
.
And again I will pitch my support for year-round schools!
There were fewer people commenting in general. The truly witless teenagers moved on because they were laughed at and not engaged.
Not like this…not that I can remember. Of course there have always been trolls, and it’s fun to poke the ones who think they can outwit us (man…that is sooo much fun)…but for the life of me I cannot understand why so many people have been bothering with these wastes of space.
We would be very satisfying to see their pointless comments go unanswered.
WeIt^I blame those web awards. With popularity comes stupidity. It’s like bugs to a bug zapper; they always go to the brightest one.
Do you need more coffee, too?
*offers Dragon a squeeze*
The unfortunate side effect is that by attracting the stupidity it dulls the site’s overall shine, but the bugs don’t go away until the site is totally ruined. I would equate then to a parasite. They are attracted, suck it dry, then leave.
I’m drinking a cold one right now, and I’m certain I’ll need a constant supply to make it through the day and into the night.
I’m confident we can handle it, aiki.
Yep. No one can ruin our Failblog.
(Mmmmm. I’m planning to pick up an iced one on my way home from the gym!)
I hope you have little traffic.
Hah! As if anything could get between me and my favo(u)rite drink!
It’s only lunch here, but a cold one with a good Dagwood style sandwich would hit the spot.
@ Dragon – May getting your drink be quick, may the drinking be prolonged, and the enjoyment never end!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!! He’s gone!!
*waves a big THENG-KEW to Emily*
Clean up on aisle…what aisle is this?
Thanks Emily!! *SQUEEEZE*
Tinkle got 86′ed?
I am banned from participating in pun-runs. (until properly trained)
*trains Leila in the manner of a wise Shaolin Tiger*
*Squeeze*
You must read the post. Then read the one before it. If there is a common word or item between them, assume a pun run and post accordingly.
If you aren’t certain then place what you think follows the pun run.
If you still have troubles we may be able to talk the others into a little help with this by noting where the pun is.
*takes copious notes while nodding head*
-
This is a good start. So, you are saying I have to *gulp* read? LOL
*squeeze*
That your you could try to get everyone to put (<– pun here) after the pun phrase or word.
*takes a hate muffin from Leila*
Mmmmm, delicious.
Are they similar to dark-side cookies?
*tries hate muffin*
*munch munch*
Hmm, all this is doing is making me hate trolls more.
I think this one kind of ran away from us Avis.
Ok, there is no such thing as Dark Side cookies. They are just cookies. We just happen to offer cookies if you join the Dark Side.
They are yummy though!
It’s Ok, I guess. They ARE good cookies we have here!
Well, I prefer the Dark Side Devil’s food cake anyways.
LOOOOL
Copy / Paste FAIL
Reloading FAIL
Spelling FAIL
You sir won a trip to…nowhere really. Just out of this site.
Thanks for writing in all caps and making it easy to skip your posts.
Actually, you can’t use the word “shizzle” like that. It doesn’t make sense.
My eyes! I have to do surgery to save them! *Duct tapes eyes shut*
Here, have some eye bleach.
*produces bottles out of back pocket*
*offers Zach some eye bleach*
Refresh, Pirx, Refresh!
*hits F5 with head*
*hands Pirx a glowing green refresh button*
The green is how you know it’s working. (radioactivity is good for you, promise)
Are you sure this isn’t a Big Red Button in disguise?
*Pushes button*
*Feels refreshed*
Yeah, I don’t pass out big, red buttons. That’s BF’s territory. I stay away from implosions, they aren’t my style.
*ahem*
Big red buttons are MY style!
My sincerest apologies. What color are the universe implosion buttons then?
Those may be red as well, but have you seen my clickie? Totally work safe, though may have you laughing hysterically and therefore get you into trouble.
I have, and I love that thing. Also, hysterics won’t get me into trouble, no worries.
You mean this? Clickie!
Oh, I love this one!
This one is awesome. The first time I saw it I got most of the office stuck on it for hours.
I still love the description you gave us of the events in your office that day!
*squeeze*
*Squeeze back*
I love messing with people, but it wouldn’t have been possible without you! 
It was amusing to say the least. This time around I had the two newbies going with it. I set their desktops to that website so now they have a never ending interactive desktop with a big red button.
Awww! Thank you!!
No no… Thank you! Believe me… this is making my day go by quick. These coworkers have no clue how to change their desktops back, so now clients coming in are doing the button thing on the workers computer and completely disrupting work.
You are truly one with the Force.
Cookie? Always available to those with twisted intentions!
I love cookies.
*Takes 2*
Yum!
Hahaha the clickie is fantastic!
Ok, so I just shared the clickie with my hubby and he informed me that I am too easily amused. I’m not sure if I need to make him scrounge his own dinner tonight and sleep on the couch.
Make him scrounge, that was insulting!
Ok, that backfired! He was the one that suggested left-overs for dinner
There’s still the couch!
Hee…!
Erm…um…I mean…that’s terrible, Ms B. Just terrible.
1st FAIL!!
OPA OPA!
Crap….missed it!!
I dunno, looked like quite a good reception for the TV model.
Must have been using rabbit ears to pick that up.
I think she was running interference while the rest of the models escaped.
I don’t know, the rest of the models were quite static during all this.
They weren’t in tune with her thinking?
Tune, ey? How ’bout ♪Breaking up is never easy, I know…♫
I believe she didn’t run the same test pattern they had discussed in rehearsal.
It didn’t show very well on my monitor.
Really? She pretty much broadcast herself all over the audience.
I’ll have this moment burn(ed)-in my mind for quite some time.
New meaning to the term boob tube?
I think her vertical hold was a bit off.
It was just a test of the emergency broad cast system.
They were explaining what to do in case of heavy snow.
That would be to channel your attention to your sweetie and schnuggle under the blankets, of course.
*SMOOCH!*
hello
Myspace is over…there.
FIRST “Did he die?” COMMENT
DID HE DIE?!
Wow…
dylos
June 8, 2009 at 10:02 am
did she die?
FAIL! This is the failest comment section I have seen all week!
P.S. Why don’t you bang your head against your screen? Busting your brain might be useful. If you ever had one.
Wow…
dylos says:
June 8, 2009 at 10:02 am
did she die?
Did SHE die?
I said, did HE die?
I’m surprised you still can’t tell the difference.
This is the most pathetic excuse I have ever heard.
That’s cool.
Is your link a “apt-get moo”-mod?
Yeah.
I haven’t seen that in a while. Is it a kind of statement or just funny ascii art?
Well..people take it the wrong way..yes, I know, it’s ridiculous, so the only thing I can say is that you can think whatever you want it to be.
Well, I recognized it and you might guess my operating system.
(There’s nothing political about that.)
It’s just interesting to see it again.
Did he die though?
Yeah..yeah, he died..
Alright, in case you haven’t noticed, most people use that this way:
Did (s)he die?
Now, both yours and hers are the same way, and i-
…
Why am i explaining this to you? *takes nearby sword, decapitates Lolcow, and sticks it on a pike for zombie cleanup*
*claws way from underground*
*sees troll head on pike*
*examines head for a moment, can’t find brains and notices it’s already dead*
*quickly loses interest, re-buries self before people start chanting “fire” again*
*Lolcow comes back to life*
Hey guys.
Dinner time!
Oh good, what are we having?
This was aimed at Zombie. It’s his/her/its dinner time.
you
.
*pops up from the grave again*
*rips Lolcow’s head apart with his teeth*
*feasts on the gooey insides*
*leaves bloody mess behind*
*dives back underground*
*cleans up mess with a ShamWow*
*tuts*
I always have to clean after the zombies. Can you undead please try and tidy up after your butchering of the living? Please?
*sighs and goes to fetch the ShamWows*
Life is messy.
Death is messy.
Yet you want the undead to be neat and clean?
It’s ok, bff. I’ll clean it up next time.
Mr.Zombie,
I have been making troll sandwiches today but have been just tossing the heads aside because I am not into headcheese or sucking heads. Would you be interesting in collaborating with me? You could have the troll first and then pass the leftovers to me.
Sincerely,
Jenny
PS Please don’t eat me
Jenny, bottom line is trolls aren’t really worth it. There is nothing satisfying in their heads to begin with, it’s just kind of a zombie thing. It’s what I do. Don’t feel you have to wait on me – zombies have issues with time as the living knows it anyway. I may or may not be here tomorrow.
.
You on the other hand have a beautiful brain, but I’m trying to keep under enough control to keep the living lynchers from starting fires as soon as they see me. I was freaked out enough the other day when everyone started singing about fire … fire is one thing zombie’s really don’t like.
.
*stares for a prolonged moment at Jenny’s tasty looking head*
*smacks chops*
*buries self before trouble starts*
*smears troll infested vaseline on head to repel Zombie*
*wonders why you smacked my cousin Chops*
She is so Stupid.
p.s
OPA-OPA-OPA!
Was the capitalization needed for stupid?
Yeah! People that trip must always be stupid!
…God…
It’s been scientifically proven.
Some lucky guy in the audience just got to cop a feel!
Looks like more than one did, actually.
You guys beat me to it.
-
Pervert win?
*reaches up in thread to cop a feel*
Woops! Sorry!! My hands slipped, I swear!!
*sprints away*
That’s what you guys always say.
Not always. I blamed it on GV last time…..
I’m just stealthy enough to never have to say anything. Nobody even knows I was there… What’s so horrible about it is that I can’t turn it off, even in the ,supposedly, hot embrace of love it’ll be like “Hey, where’d you go? What do you mean we’re all done? Don’t you fall asleep when I’m talking to you!”
*sighs*
At least she doesn’t keep looking at her watch, and asking “Are you done yet?”
Wow, that would be so humiliating – not even having noticed how not into it she was. I’d probably just get up and walk away, or show her to the door if that was the case…
If by “show her the door” you mean kick her ass out on the sidewalk without her clothes, we’re in agreement. Do the walk of shame now honey…..
*facepalm*
*goes to find some real men to talk to*
I wish I knew what the heck they are talking about. Is this man-speak or something?
I’m sorry, I can’t translate. My mind is still rattled with the “gangsta” speak above.
More like adolescent boy-speak.
*reflects*
*realizes the awful truth*
*cries*
And I always thought that was a good thing…
Crowdsurfing – you’re doing it wrong.
Some gave her a hand for trying, though.
It was a rousing applause indeed.
Clearly a brief-case of high-anxiety.
.
How has everyone been?
Glad to see you attachéd to Failblog, again, Marius! We’ve missed you.
I have missed you guys. I was a little busy with my work (thank god) and yard work.
We’ve missed you too!
*clutches Marius in a big SQUEEZE*
*Sigh*
Since I have destroyed this thread twice I am going to take my bukkit and go back to work. I will see you folks later.
.
Hee!
*Returns Dragons SQUEEZE*
And a big SQUEEZE for everyone else in the Failblog family!
*squeeze* right back atcha!
Sorry this is out of place. I’m a bit rusty.
You’ll get it ironed out in no time.
I hope so. I do not want to get anyone steamed with my unintentional troll behavior.
You’d never make anyone hot under the collar.
You would be hard pressed to find someone that insensitive.
You are compleatly right!
If anyone wrinkles their nose at Marius, we’ll set them straight.
We’ll wring their necks and clean their clocks.
#of men who took advantage of the situation and cupped a feel is…?
More than half?
For the win…Moomin, give us a specific number…*audience waits*
160 each?
42! The answer is always 42!
Sorry. I bottled my answer.
This is your host, Zach, saying so long, and thanks for all the fish!
So long! Farewell!
That’s ok. You can have this anyway…
*runs across stage*
*trips and flies into audience*
*manages a SQUEEZE as she flies by*
*lands on her heinie because all the audience members ducked out of the way to avoid being squished*
Except one…*gasp* Whenever you’re ready to get up…
Woops! Sorry, sweets!
*smooch*
*inserts bellows into Admiral’s mouth, a la Looney Tunes*
*pumps the bellows, returning Admiral to 3-D*
All better now. Aren’t you glad I grew up with real cartoons?
Just a hint Jimbo, never NEVER interrupt the Admiral and Dragon when they’re flirting.
That being said I’m gonna get out of this thread NOW!
LOL!
Thanks Jimbo…but Dragon already had me fully inflated.
*already ran out of the thread, on Avis’ advice*
Great, now I have this image of the Admiral floating away like a hot air balloon.
Does he have a little basket beneath?
Why, yes he does, and-
Wait a minute. Is this innuendo machine about to explode?
It’s the Admiral. He’s…hard…on them.
KAPOW!
One day all these explosions are going to deafen me.
*hands Dragon broom and dustpan*
You break it, you clean it.
But…but…
*lower lip trembles*
*sees that no one is buying it*
*sighs*
Fine! I’ll just *FOOOM!!* the mess away.
*takes a deeeeeep breath*
*is surprised by a sudden hiccup*
*involuntarily claps hand over mouth, causing flames to shoot out of ears*
Um…wooops.
*pats out flame on top of Ms B’s head*
*flees*
Oh good god my entire fleet of jeeps has been burnt to a crisp! The only one left is the one I’m sitting in!
Oh geez! My hair was heat-damaged already, and now it’s hopeless! Do you think I’d look good bald?
Sweetie, you’d look good no matter what!
*squeeze*
Ms B, you look great! With or without clothes, I might add.
Awwww! Thanks guys!
*buffs newly bald head to a shine*
Audience win!
Gotta agree with that. Who doesn’t want a model to land on them?
Audience got more than they asked for, alot more. I don’t think they minded too much though.
I’d take the deal
She practiced without the suitcase and did not take the extra inertia into account.
She never modeled out of a trench before.
Clearly a brief-case of high-anxiety.
god you guys sucks, stop making such irrelevant comments! your worse than those youtuber’s who try and out wit every single comment!
…dear god.
that is why you don’t lock your knees. lolz!
but I get prego everytime I unlock them.
Maybe she was a trol!?
I really hope that mis-spell was intentional.
alwais ^^
Alright, I cannot see the fail right now due to the school blocking all youtube stuff. Can anyone tell me what is going on?
Model falls down the stairs (TV show is “Let’s Make a Deal”) and falls into the audience. All whilst wearing basically lingerie.
Happy men catch her I might add. Erm, audience members are thoroughly unhappy with the crashing of a body on their heads.
One of the Let’s Make A Deal case-holder models tripped and fell off the stage. She landed in the middle of the crowd. That’s about it.
(Psst – “Deal or No Deal”)
Good catch Judy – too bad you weren’ there to catch that girl too.
“The show with the germophobe bald guy and the cheesy banker bit.” Better?
It’s been about 12 hours and 42 scans later and I am still laughing about “Let’s Make A Deal”
How much are they charging for the tickets to those front row seats, and where do I order them?
off topic. I am getting so sick of all these new people coming over from youtube etc… I am nearly at the point of walking away frrom this site. I’ve been a regular for nearly two years now, and this is the worst I’ve ever seen this. Maybe it is just that all the little ones are out of school for the summer and looking for new people to torment. IDK, but arrrggg! LEILA, pass a mimosa, please.
*offers abstract a massage and comfort beer*
*bear hugs abstract*
Think of all those you would be leaving behind! What would become of us?
*bear hugs back* you’re right, i love my other regular people, I would miss you all. ahh, i guess I’ll stay a bit longer.
*gives abstract a big kiss in hopes of convincing her to stay*
*SMOOOOOCH!*
So, what happens Thursday at 4-5pm, hmmmm??
*gives abstract the evil eye*
*Carefully sneaks out of room*
mmmmm, looks forward to Thursday. I will see you then!
thank you ever so kindly! oooh, get that spot right there..aaaaahhh, yeah that’s it.
Sounds kinky
*heavy dog-like panting*
Jules??? *searches room*
But… the site isn’t even 1 and a half years old!?
Abstract is above the concept of time
time itself is an abstract concept
aye, that be true, hence nearly. *squeeze* mornin’ Avis. I have a bad sense of time, but I have been here basicaly from the begining.
*squeeze* Oooookaaaaayyy.
I believe she must have lurked for some time, like me. I didn’t post for a long time.
*squeezes Avis*
Are your blisters better, I hope?
Much, in fact, I just put the shoes back on today!. After beating the crap out of the ankle area with a hammer. Of the shoes, not my feet.
*squeezes Brewski back*
I seriously pictured you hitting your foot with a hammer until you clarified! It was quite the amusing image.
Hey! The I word showed up!
Quite a while after I wrote it though. Sorry about the double post
I seriously pictured you hitting your foot with a hammer before you clarified! Tooo funny!
It was tempting for a while there. The blisters are MOSTLY gone, as in, there is SOME skin on them again. I need to buy some super-thick socks to wear with these shoes. I was forced to wear my crocs for a few days, after cutting the straps off of them. It was not pretty.
lolz, i am glad you clarified! what a mental picture!
I almost took out a thumb with the hammer, does that count?
yikes
I thought you were nursing yourself back to health ala Misery.
I am not that much of a glutton for punishment, but the thought did cross my mind.
As far as I remember a friend of mine started printing out the fails and posting them in the office in the late fall of 2007 early winter 2008. I became interested and started visiting the site just to see the fail. There were only a few pages of fails when i first started viewing. then in the summer I decided to start commenting. so I’ve been commenting for over a year.
I tried to ask once before, but is your avatar your own handiwork? Do you do art as a hobby or something?
yes, actually I am an artist. my clicky is a direct link to the artwork file on my myspace. Check it out, let me know what you think.
I viewed it once before, apparently you didn’t see my reply. I like a LOT! Do you show in any galleries? I love art, and collect some stuff. I have a lot of Japanese/Chinese works, and abstract art (your stuff reminds me a little of a large contemporary abstract painting in my dining room, similar colors too)
I am a large fan of simple art work in the Japanese/Chinese calligraphy style. With that said I really like your artwork and enjoy the style of it.
Hi aiki
I love calligraphy. I’m more fond of Japanese art than Chinese in general (Japanese is more compatible with a contemporary modern home), but appreciate both. I picked up a large original painting last time I was in China (landscape of waterfall, mountains, etc), about 7 feet by 4 feet, for only $80! I’ve seen paintings not nearly as nice for sale here for thousands. It’s amazing how cheap stuff is over there.
I will have to hit my brother up for some artwork then. He has spent a little over a year in Japan and is coming back in Aug.
I said China. Japan is not cheap from my admittedly very brief experience there. I ended up with a small painted handfan with two koi, and spent a relative small fortune on it. It was all I could afford!
*pride spils on floor* thank you!
*brims with pride* thank you. I would like to show, but I am so busy right now with the two jobs. hopefully quitting in August will give me more time to work on painting and maybe get into some shows. so, did you like any enough to want to collect one? I also do comission work.
*feels chuffed at having convinced abstract to link to her artwork months ago*
huh? can you help me understand your comment, please. I thought I did link it up. although sometimes it is hamsterdance! I’ve had it available through my myspace since then.
chuffed
Informal: pleased or delighted
*sips iced coffee drink*
*chuffs the Admiral*
*grins, sips distractedly*
*adds some honey to drink*
…Better?
*stirs slowly*
Thanks for the stiff drink, sweets.
Hm… possibly. Do you have higher-res pictures anywhere?
unfortunately, no i used my sister’s camera to take these and i have some new ones that are even better, but no camera.
Your artwork is impressive abstract. I love the colors and how you used them.
wow, i really am not going to be able to fit my head in my car to drive home. Thank you so much!
It’s a summer bug for sure, it’ll pass.
We need year-round school for them.
-
Psst: I promised I wouldn’t make these anymore, but this is a special occasion. *passes Mimosa w Troll Ban to abstract*
Yoink!
*sneaks a mimosa and guzzles it down in one breath*
Great! Now Dragon is going to do the Ms B and start dancing in her birthday suit.
Hey! I kept my clothes on all week!
It’ll take a lot more than one mimosa to get me to that stage. Dragons can hold their liquor.
*squeezes Ms B*
One crazy Friday, and I’ll never live it down.
*squeezes Dragon*
I’ve kept my pants on all day so far!!
Yay!
I’ll drink to that!
*toasts*
*toasts Ms B*
To us, and our continued clothed-ness!!
Wait… *sniff sniff*
This isn’t dragon grog is it?
*sound heard off in the distance*
Mwuaahahahaaa…
*throws glass away*
*runs away screaming and waving arms*
NNOOOOOOOoooooooo…
Poor Brewski!
*blows smooch to departing Brewski*
Good grief, I really gotta figger out how to get on here at times other than break and lunch. I’ve only been gone a little while, and already everybody is keeping their clothes on
Clothes are not optional WN
Says you
*checks both ways to make sure DW is gone*
*carefully edges back in the room*
Er…I learned my lesson, no more dragon grog! And after about a week of continuous pants-losing, I’ve had enough! For a day, at least.
*Walks in*
Laughing dragon screaming brewski?
Ms B still has her clothes on?
*Takes a seat at the bar*
This is too much for my head. Oh and by the way Ms B.
*running start*
*swoon smooch*
*adds comma between dragon and screaming.*
Sorry boys, show’s over! This girls keeping her clothes on thang kew!
What did I miss? What did I miss?
.
Why is everyone staring at Ms B?
Can I get a private show though? I won’t tell anyone, aside from those that read this themselves.
Brewski, at least be thankful that Dragon didn’t leave you vaporized as she did our poor Bored Paralegal Malicite. Speaking of the devil, what have you done to him Dragon? Where is Malicite?
Fill out and sign an application and it will be taken into consideration
I DENY EVERYTHING!!!
*scootches towards exit*
When did Mal get vaporized? I must have missed that.
*Fills out application*
*Awaits patiently for process to complete itself*
Dammit. Linkie got eaten. Trying again.
Admiral…here’s the (sort of) linkie to Mal’s vaporization. Let me just say here, however, that I was NOT the one to vaporize him in the first place!
And, in finding this, I found a post of yours I had not seen before! *big grin*
*coils and curves*
failblog.org/2009/05/29/
pool-hall-sign-fail/#comment-442503
Talk to Dragon Admiral. She has a lot of explaining to do…
Turning and coiling? You are trying to distract Admiral from the real issue … Malicite … vaporized …
-
I feel evil right now.
Hee! I remember that! Leila can’t fool me.
*crinkly grin*
*swoons*
*catches, places in large basket*
*takes off in hot air balloon ride*
Hey! Where are you going? I am not done with you two. *looks for a spear to deflate hot air balloon* Dammit! There should be one here somewhere.
No leila noo!
*Pulls leila down one comment level*
(It actually makes sense that they are above us being in the balloon and all)
Be careful, if you are going to do anything, do it from afar.
*blows Emperor smoochies from afar*
*Vows to find afar and repay this kissnipe*(long distance kiss didn’t have the same allure)
To the mustang. Yes I named my mustang, Black Stallion. (I am referencing a horse after all)
Oh she can fall on me anytime.
Except for 4-5pm on thursdays, I’m busy then
LOLZ! technicolor, would you like to go out on… sorry, let me check my schedule…. on Thursady, say between 4-5pm?
On Thursady? Sure as long as it ain’t Thursday.
darn, foiled again. *passes tin foil around*
Ooh, great! I need a new tin foil hat. Government space aliens stole my last one… *grumbles*
she fell for that guy
That’s tripping me out man
I think Joiex has stumbled onto something.
His stairs made her legs grow weak.
She seemed to slide out of consciousness.
Let’s slip in and steal the case, it may hold the million!
Ski masks — check
firearms — check
money sacks — check
get away car — check
Lets go Ms B.
Wait did we pack lunch? Dammit I always forget something.
Don’t worry I packed you a troll sandwhich, w/ havarti, apple slices on marbled rye.
(no substitutes please)
Ain’t troll meat a tad gamey though?
Yes, but the apples add sweetness and crispness, which is commonly missing from trolls.
I’ll take eight.
Jenny, I hope you’re never too busy to make more.
Wonders how you guys will divy up the sign that says $1,000,000
Cut
Rip
Timeshare
We’ll buy a tank of gas.
Am I right?
A brief case of gravity impairment
That comment suits this case
Extreme Lap Dancing – please tip the girls
I’ll give her a tip.
“Less falling next time”
There.
Due to PETA’s intervention, girl tipping has now replaced cow tipping.
PETA always goes too far.
I miss my mink thong
excuse me sir?
Is that a mink in your pants?
Oh why yes.
It doesn’t mean I’m not happy to see you however.
She only made it to 19 beers- and therefore didn’t get the free sandwhich. Poor stick lady in her nightgown.
That is the true tragedy here. She never got her sandwich.
STAGEEEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVEEEEEEE (the wrong way)
Maybe the number 13 really is bad luck…
Perhaps she had tripsheadeckaphobia.
Stagediving!:p
Actually it’s a stage dive fail, but still…
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TH1S 1S SP444RTT444444444
Gotta go make the baby some coffee and run to the store to get the toddler a new pack of cigerettes.
*exits stage left*
Don’t forget the bottle of gin for the 4-year old!
Oh, crap I have a 4 year old too! I need to quit getting busy.
*tries to remember 4 years ago*
See ya Jenny – pick up some tequila for the youngsters while you’re out?
Refresh early, refresh often!
*squeeze*
I simply prefer tequila over gin, Brewski – but, since you’re keeping your clothes on, I’ll give you a break this time.
Shot o’ tequila?
Why thank you!!
*sips tequila*
*holds out plate of lime wedges*
Have a lime!
Ahhh yes, thank you!!
*takes plate of lime wedges and makes limeaid* Anyone want stome of this stuff? *pours a bottle of rum* It’s good. *hic*
*spikes the limeade with dragon-grog*
Yes, please!
*hic*
Here you go Dragon. Cheers!!
*pours a glass for DW*
Wait, why does it smell funny? Ah, nevermind. Drink up.
*hic*
I’ll take some spiked with your heady stuff, DW.
*flees*
*follows Brewski*
Wait for me!!!!
This is NOT going to end well.
Dammit, I just lost my buzz.
Fear not; we’ve been drinking in each other’s creative juices for a long time.
I went with everclear beause it doesn’t stain if they drop their bottles on the carpet. The trailor owners are real picky about that sort of thing. I also needed a drink after fing about my new (oldest) kid.
*wonders if it is male or female*
wow
sham
vince
ent van gogh
Madoff
holy diver!
i have nothing to say but this.
1
where is everyone’s comments? they dissapeared……
Are you sure you can’t see more than 400 comments?
oh…. nevermind
Fail or No Fail
Wat
Deal or No Deal reference? Noel Edmonds makes that show great
Woo hoo! A mosh pit!
*dives into crowd*
Dives in after IUL
Hey! I was trying to sunbathe over here!
.
Ahhh forget it! It’s supposed to rain all month anyway.
Yeah, but it beats the hell outta that 4 feet of snow I had in my front yard a few months ago…
Oh yes! Almost anything is better than the snow. Why won’t it stay in the mountains where it belongs? I need to move somewhere where it’s warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer.
Well, I had the warmer in the winter thing going well those years I lived in Southern California. Unfortunately, the summers were too hot, the state is run by idjuts, and I don’t speak Spanish.
But I do like my 5-minute commute these days
Buena Dias senor Nellie.
*squeezes everybody in the mosh pit*
Mosh pit? That explains why Ms B is in her nekkid’ness!!
*wanders into thread*
Wha?! Did someone get me a body double and not tell me? Come here and put some clothes on! You’re sullying my good name!
I have body doubles, Brewski has body doubles, and now you have them. Is this some kind of fad?
I sure hope not. There are only so many that…
*walks off ledge*
AAAIIIIIEIIEIEEEEE!!!!!
Look what you started! You trend-setter you!
There’s a ledge in my mosh pit? Who put that there?
wait, i just counted, and it was more than 400.
People falling down isn’t very funny anymore the thousandth time.
It’s ALWAYS funny!
It’s funny until someone gets really badly hurt – then it’s hilarious.
I’m out guys. Have fun for a few days without me, I won’t have time for much failing this week. (probably a good thing, as I think Dragon is mad at me about the “walk of shame” comment)
Bye Jimbo! Good luck with whatever duty is calling you?
*waves* Bye … and quit being so bored for goodness sakes!
*waves*
Bye!
Pffft. People say stupid things (have I mentioned that my very first post on Failblog absolutely infuriated someone??). Doesn’t mean you have to disappear!
Really? So you were a bit of a rebel, DW?
Hee…! Not exactly. I just have a tendency to speak my mind…which does not always go over very well.
Perhaps you should move the kryptonite further away from the computer.
My new sparkly? But…but it’s so pretty!
Ohh…okay, fine.
*puts kryptonite into lead-lined display case*
Lead?? No! Not lead!!
Sucking… body… energy…
Can’t… last… much… longer!
I wonder if Jimbo the bored can see me wave from here.
*WaVeS* enthusiastically*
*hands Brewski a Red Bull*
Guaranteed to work against lead. I hope.
Yey Greek TV made it’s way to failblog :3
|_ (_| |_ ¯/_
Is this the new English? Unnescessary spaces in letters?
\ / |¯ /¯
| |¯ \-\
| |_ _/
Is that a bunny rabbit doing pilate?
You didn’t see that post. Move along. Nothing to see here.
It’s a bunny rabbit, but it’s not doing pilates. It’s doing that other thing that rabbits are known for doing.
Rubbing their legs for good luck?
…*crickets*…
Eating the biggest, hardiest, juiciest, most silken skinned carrot it can find?
It’s deemed faux paux to use the alphabet when posting now. I just read the memo.
Ummm- I didn’t get that memo. I feel so uninformed!
Lmao.
The lformer lchairman of lchina?
lding! lding! lding! YOU WIN!!!
-
Charlie, what do we have for BFF??
A drunken falling model,
and a cookie
I SAID LOL.
DID YOU? HOW INTERESTING.
PARDON? SPEAK UP, SONNY!
*LLOL* (literally, laughed out loud)
*is a smidgie ashamed* However . . .
*finds it impossible to control giggle reflex, which is fast becoming the dreaded GUFFAW* *gives in*
(This too, shall pass.)
wtf? Was she pushed or did she faint?
My comment is awaiting moderation? AWAITING MODERATION???
*savagely attacks moderator*
*rips skull wide open*
*feasts on the goo inside*
*creates a true gory bloody mess to rival previous gory bloody messes*
*crawls back underground*
Oh for…
I’m calling in reinforcements this time. We may not have enough ShamWows.
I don’t think that will help your cause any. But good luck with that.
The reply button seems to have gone on strike. Let’s hope this works.
Gerenral Bondfan4518 0 MP etc..you could have me as a allie or as as enemy?. There are alot of people making real trouble on here.
Is that an offer or a threat 5 eagles?
*hangs head in shame*
*makes note: moderators don’t approve messages after you kill them*
.
We’ll try this again, I think I know what set the moderator off …
.
Reviewing the footage, there is no one behind her so she must have fainted. Locking the knees tends to do things like that to the living. Either that or the promiscuous girl decided she wanted to jump the whole audience.
.
*hopes the original word that “promiscuous girl” substituted for was the problem and not the word “jump”*
Neither. She jumped into my mosh pit. Watch out, though, apparently it has ledges you can fall off of. ^^^
I am back!.
I’m afraid you’re as welcome as Gordon Brown here.
BFF, the attack-on-site thing–not good. I know where your feelings are coming from, but jumping on this guy just because he makes his usual stupid entrance doesn’t do the community any good. That’s my opinion, of course. Some would welcome him here if he chose to join in instead of snipe from the sidelines. I say, so long as he isn’t being mean, bigoted, or intentionally annoying to someone, let him be.
I apologise. I can get very hot blooded at times, and I wasn’t thinking there. It’s just this guy has proved to be racist and bigoted, and we don’t like those kind of people here. But, as long as he is reformed, I’m all for it.
who is gordon Brown?.
*facepalm*
What I don’t know gordon Brown LOL.
Ok, this is going to come across as rather harsh, but do you live under a rock?!? How can you NOT know who Gordon Brown is?
I’m not trying to be rude, but maybe this is a sign you may be a teensy bit behind with the rest of the world. He has been Prime Minister of the United Kingdom for almost 2 years now.
Where is the United Kingdom?. Sounds made up like Walt Diseny land. Or where Pricesses come from. You are not being rude dude GBF.LOL or harsh avis.
Princesses sub for Pricesses, sorry.
Well, the UK IS a monarchy… so princesses there aren’t unheard of.
Monarchy is a butterfly right?.
No. Kings and Queens. Royalty. That sort of thing. England’s Monarchy is not total though. It’s kind of hard to explain.
I’m going to try one last time. Ever heard of the UK? That country in Europe? Engerland? You know, Blair and Bush? Yep, Brown is PM of that nation.
You can’t POSSIBLY be that ill-informed. You just CAN’T. Where do you LIVE???
I have lived off the land for 20 years with my people yes still living in teepees LOL. I never saw a tv until i was 31 years old. I am first nation, Ojibwa.i was educated by white people, who thought they where superior to all races. I am slowly realising thier mistake. So my original bigotry was knee jerk reaction to the black man throwing the ball. I meant nothing by it but knew some races had skills other didn’t (I hope I didn’t offend anyone) I am still learning about the world around me. Like a whole continent across the big pond.LOL
I didn’t know it was even POSSIBLE (in this day and age) to be THAT isolated.
I read and watch a lot. They are still discovering tribes in south America LOL
I can only assume that you spend a lot of time in a town or now live in one. Given your frequent visits here.
…Right. I think I’d like to applaud you for coming this far in being able to use the Internet. I do not mean that as an insult in any way. I think it is commendable that you, as a person who hasn’t seen modern technology until you were in your early 30s, are able to access this blog and know how to use LOL is superb.
I have four Kids. LOL.
I have a cell phone to(o), I don’t know my too or to’s
yet or where or were’s lol.
This is perhaps the most shocking post of the day.
Or actually, maybe not. Birth control fail.
*sigh* Somehow, I think you missed a few posts.
lol that was in my country in the middle of the copy of “Deal or no Deal” called “Trato Hecho” luckily the girl only got bruises.
Arrrg! We have a nesting fail! AGAIN!!!
You have to reply to the comments ABOVE the failed nester.
I think.
btw: did she die?
yes
Remember folks–do NOT reply to your own posts that are awaiting moderation.
*tries to remember that*
Sorry, my bad.
hahaha!This happened while I was in the audience! This is a Greek channel, btw… When she was stumbling, I was like, “Called it.” XD
Actually this taping was in Guatalahara. I was there. I’m not sure why you would want to lie about something like that.
When it happened everyone panicked and the stage manager ran up and shouted:
“DID HE DIE!?”
No…it wasn’t in guatalahara, Ant1 is a GREEK CHANNEL, being taped in a GREEK company building either in Athens or somewhere near there, like Peloponnesos. You’re the one lying.
Still here.
Looked liek someone pushed her from behind
greece 4ever…
PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::PINGAS:::
Brilliant!
AWW, that sucks. Maybe she was just stage diving.
?
!
.
&
i am so proud that my country has entered failblog.org! XD
hello from Greece!
#13 Win!
I guess somewhat lit her crotch-rocket.
hahahhaahhahhaahahh
Bet the guy who caught her felt her up as she fell
annnndddd……fired!
i think she was so excited when she was finally chosen that couldn’t hold herself back! hahahaha!!! poor Katerina! :p
no deal.
unlucky 13…
Well, from her being barefoot when she falls, you can clearly see that she lost a shoe. Which is nothing unusual for those exaggerated high-heels that they make them wear.
On my model contest, they would all have to go barefoot. Also you can detect if they really care for their body, or just put a quick mask on top of everything, by surprising them with the request to remove their shoes. ^^
um.. Audience Win, yes?
Don’t see that everyday! It would have been nice to be in the front row though.
You would have been more convincing had you got the name of the site you supposedly administrate right.
more like audience member win
13 really, well it makes SENSE.
lucky pricks on the bottom
lol she just looks like a spaz
lucky 13
THATS how you crowd surf!
It should be entitled Audience WIN.
How often does a guy get to catch a model falling head on into his lap?
crowd win.
STAGEDIVE!!
Number 13!!
lucky 13
Wow, cause, you know, 13 is always your best bet, it’s just too unlucky for anything bad to happen.
wow someone fell. im glad that i just watched the 7 millionth fall in a row from fail.org. are they trying to make falls a not fail by sheer repetition?
7 million and one fall might do it. keep showing someone fall because that almost never happens and is always funny even after the 7 millionth time.
all tv models are failures!