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Road to doom?
or simply the wall ofc…
It leads to the 3rth floor…
But, the sign said stairwell, not escalator!
*looks for sign*
Oh here…I found it! But, it says stairsick
If you easily get stairsickness you can’t join the army
What about scaresickness :O
*BOO!*
How about baresickness
hairsickness
doesnt jam usually start these things?
did he die?
Don’t think so: Kieren says it’s just MDF
i wish you’d die!
Tinklenator seems to have nothing better to do with his time than add ‘did he die’ to every available thread. May as well ignore him and let him at it, annoying as it is.
Hear, hear!
All these smiley-avatars above confuse me…
Did you get smileysickness?
did he die? didn’t he die? die was the he did what him to die? die on the he? he died or not? didnt he AfraidOfTheDark? Are you afraid of the clark? did he die?
he die did
ballsickness
If a wall is your doom, then YES!
to Fiddler’s Green. Game = doom.
good morning
*squeeze *
No, it goes straight into Photoshop.
Guys, Guys, (Not girls,) lets just see where it leads and then we can put this in a wall and forget about it.
It’s for ghosts, duh. Not a fail.
You mean it’s not my Stairway to Heaven after all?
Just the opposite.
Well…what to do along the way …what…to……do…
*gives DrB a handbasket*
Maybe something in there will pique your interest.
Ooooo…did you pack it yourself? Hell’s Belles…how did you know?
Angus gave me some hints… I was a little Thunderstruck when he suggested the baconlube, though.
It’s a long way to the top, if you’re taking the escalator.
I’m sure we can work it out if we put our minds to it.
Hello, everybody! *waves happily at everybody*
I might not be a regular here, but I have cookies, popsicles and real Mexican tequila. Can I have a squeeze?
Is the tequila made out of real mexicans?
*bunny sized squeeze* Can i have a cookie…and I’ll just stir my tequila with a popsicle….
My brothers name is Angus……
Angus YOUNG..
no just kiddin about that last part
Actually, it`s an escalator for 8th-and-up year wizards. The escalator leads to floor nine-and-three-quarters
-gag
WIN!
FR1st P05t!!11!1one
would have been if you didn’t replace some of the letters with numbers…
It’s 1r0n1c.
Or he’s really, really stupid.
I put my money on stupid
considering the trouble with spelling his own name?
*bets with MNM*
I’ll see that M&M and raise you a Bounty.
re-raise you a escalator!
well I think your bluffing so ill put down some baconlube
good job spotting that bluff
Sorry, the escalotor only goes down
I mean escalator
A new way to get to Hogwarts?
uff – gag
I’ll check that bet and raise you 3 Reese’s
I raise a Giant frozen Twix.
It’s not a fail. It is having repairs.
i think so too
No, I’m pretty sure no one would go to the lengths of building a wall because of a need for repair. But hell – what do I know? I’m certainly not an escalator repairman. Not even a Maytag repairman.
I’d be a Milkman.
Moo!
Traditional, or you likey the machinery?
WTF?
Should DrB or the machine give you a handjob?
It depends on DrB’s gender. 0_0
♀ ♂
Just circle your choice, and let’s get on with it.
50% chance of getting it right now
Circling both could get messy, yanno?
whoops all out of baconlube.
*hands fruittastesgood the baconlube from further down the page*
hope that helps
*gets tea and lawn chair to indulge voyeuristic tendencies*
*tosses a ♂ and a ♀ out on the lawn*
*waits to see which one belongs to FTG*
Um…
Shht, FTG – check in your pants!
Are you male or female?
() yes
() no
Oh this will be good. I didn’t realize the Doc’s pineapple swong both ways.
*joins 3heathens on lawn*
O
+
It’s quite clearly just a sheet of MDF or some cheap wood, hardly a wall
yeah, there’s probably major construction going on behind that wall. like a section of a mall being remodeled.
That, or goofy art-deco foolishness.
Probably not repairs, just a closed off floor. I’ve seen the same thing in an old multi-level department store. They used to have about five floors but as the old department stores got replaced by the newer ones (WalMart, etc) they progressively closed off floors until they were down to 3 and then finally just closed. And since the escalators were all one atop the other you end up with what you see here.
^^^ To all the people who complain we don’t talk about the actual fail picture enough. Here ya go!!! Try winning a Webbie (or whatever the hell it is) with that!
here here!
Where, where?
Who, who?
Doctor, Doctor?
Captain, Captain?
Kirk, KirK?
Actually I was thinking Jack Harkness, in keeping with the Doctor Who theme.
Ah, my apologies.
To continue:
Master, Master?
Rose, Rose?
Davros, Davros?
K9, K9?
Lollipop, lollipop?
Exterminate! Exterminate!
Huh, huh?
When, when?
Not even that. The fire shutter is down, which is a shutter that is lowered automatically to prevent fire spreading from floor to floor via the escalator.
Nice
Mice
Thrice?
Rice
ice?
Slice
Entice?
lice
Dice
Weave with me groovers…
Splice!
beer
Hmmm… vice
AfraidAfraidAfraid (for the jinx)
Okay, count me in…price?
Awesome, thanks DrB
Bryce… iffy, but I think it’s a name
I think I spent my last Bryce…would something in-kind suffice?
I think i’m all out oF rhymes
*jumps on the capital f to shrink it to a respectable size*
*advises Afraid to jump twice*
Woah now we don’t want to flatten the poor thing
Spice
Geis (pronounced gaysh).
vice
jinx on Afraid!
*sigh*
suffice
*squeeze*
good morning, all
Good morning! Do you luv tofu?
no, i only like the word tofu
TOFUTOFUTOFUTOFUTOFUTOFUTOFUTOFUTOFUTOFU
It seems that all the regulars have gone away or something. Let’s have some funnnnn! *starts destroying failblog*
Umm… Could start by dismantling that pile of people on the other side of that wall?!?
*pulls up to The Surgeon in fleet of tanks*
*infantry surround him/her and aim*
You can’t shoot on the red cross, BFF. Or shouldn’t, at least.
Ah, of course. But how do we know he’s a real surgeon?
(Guten Tag, Arthur!)
Hmmm… Good point. Hurt yourself, let him operate and decide by the outcome?
(Hallo! Wie geht’s? Wie liefen die Prüfungen?)
I’m not so sure about this. What if this man operates and I get gangrene? Or worse, septicimia?
(Es geht mir gut, danke. Sorry, I can’t understand this last bit)
Then you should use a troll to test his abilities. Doesn’t matter if that one dies.
(I was asking how your tests were. If I remember correctly you had a German test?)
Good idea! I’ll go fetch a test specimen from Boggy’s cage.
(Oh, they went fine. I have another this week, so fingers crossed!)
Good luck! Even though I don’t think that you tend to rely on your luck. When’s your school year over?
It’s over in a couple of week. Then I can go back to Japan! Hurrah!
How’s your weekend? Busy, as usual?
Will you spend the entire time in Japan? Three months, or how long is the break?
Not really. I avoided work as good as possible, got some time with my girlfriend to spend. The weather sucks, though, therefore we’re doing some intense cleaning (interrupted by Failblog
). It’s very necessary…
Yes. I really want to spend as much time possible in my home country, as I do miss it occasionally.
I see. This blog is a real daywrecker. I think my attention span is also shor-
Oooh, shiny…
*stares at shiny thing*
Yes, Failblog is notorious for stealing my time… but I really enjoy it. Not so much on the weekends, though. Too many trolls are around.
Same. The amount of trolls here on Sat/Sun is disgusting. We’ve already got some Firsters and the new “Did he die”ers.
Not too long then it’s Monday! YAY!
…
Wait, did I just type that?!
I’m afraid you did. I know a good psychaiatrist, here’s his number.
Thanks, but I think I’ll just wag my finger at myself.
*wags finger*
That’ll do for now. If it is getting worse, I’ll call the psychiatrist.
Glad to see you guys are upholding the Failblog standards this weekend.
*squeezes BFF and Arthur*
*squeezes DW*
Don’t forget MRN, Jimbo, 3heathens, jennyisbusy and BN!
he doesn’t allow refunds for cut-off fingers.
No, I don’t
Does it lead to the 3rth floor?
2rth
Oh snap, sorry I stole your line…
And now a reply button click fail…
It’s not my day today…
Aww..that’s too bad…
*hands teff a shiny, new reply button*
Here ya go, wear it out.
*hands Jimbo a shiny, new russet potato*
Here ya go, wear it out.
*gushes in light of the overwhelming generosity of FBers*
*cuts and fries potato in peanut oil*
Hot fries! Come and get ‘em!
I’ve got the beer, Anchor Steam summer brew.
That makes me miss Brewski.
Wouldn’t they put up a sign saying “sorry for the inconvenience” or something? Also, couldn’t it just be some weird art installation? Maybe named “Art has hit a wall.”
wtf! did he die?
*squeeze*
hello
I wouldn’t squeeze strangers if I were you, tofu mogu.
they way i’ve been failing lately, i would definitely run into that wall..
*squeeze* Morning
*squeeze* to you also, DrB. It’s another beautiful day in paradise.
I’m pretty happy with paradise also! Hope all’s well
oh my first time being *squeezed* on failblog..what an honor
*whispers* Your next ‘first’ could well be using a capital to start a sentence.
Well, here’s another for free! *SQUEEZE!*
Capital letters are for noobs.
oh wait
Easy on the grammar buddy. Don’t use “because of” either. Dragonwriter will “Foooom” you, and I will not stop her.
*blink*
“Because of” is a perfectly legitimate grammatical structure–used properly, that is. Why would I *FOOOOOM!!* someone for that??
I think he should of wrote “should of”?
*squeeze*
*flees the scene of the grammatical crime*
*grabs and squeezes the Moomin until his head pops off*
Oh no, not again.
Last time that happened I got stuffed with potatoes.
*feels around on floor for head*
So what exactly happens to sombody who has been *foooom*ed?
Put it this way – the dark is not the only thing out there to be afraid of….mwahahahaha!
It depends on the FOOM. It’s best not to find out.
Oh dear… :O
Should HAVE.
And first because you have the first comment isn’t allowed?
Amirite?
Would be even funnier if it led out the 9th floor window.
9rth?
No, he said 9rthst
Ahh, makes sense now…
You two are confusing me…
Don’t be confused:
MNM is the dark (background) one
I feel like they’re perched on my shoulders. Angel smiley, and Evil smiley.
O
..
u
hehehe
also i have slightly different eyes
The eyes are the same, the only thing different are the “douche-style” eyebrows.
No offence. You’re no douche, the eyebrows are.
*blames it on the creator of the smiley*
The thing’s left eye is different.
Escalator 9 3/4
*RUNS!*
Bricks shall be shat
shit shall be bricked
bricks shall be layed.
Got some mortar?
No mortar; will baconlube do?
baconlube and shitbricks…sounds messy
indeed.
bombastic!
Looks like a piece of art fakalator…
New moving walkway to p;atform 9 3/4 ruins the secretness of the secret doorway.
CODE KEY: ; = L
OMG the link to the comments turned red!!
*runs away*
Clearing your history is cure FOR THE WINRAR.
Ohh..like your avatar
I think I had too much booze yesterday. I’m still seeing double.
I’m with you on this one Arthur. I am entirely too hungover to tell the difference between them….
So there was an Australian guy riding this metaphoric escalator (clicky). The caption to the pici says it all… *sigh*.
where is that auction?
Ahh… the sanctity of marriage. *eyeroll*
So much for committment…nothing but mush behind his shell *eggrolls*
She might get a free re-list though. Not allowed in her bush with his bell. *fig rolls*
He made a vow…he should be with the one he’s with. *bedrolls*
Maybe his wife would compromise and agree to a threesome? That would be exciting for the guy. *hard rolls*
More likely his wife was upset about the money part of the deal. *california roll*
I think the wife wears the pants in that family *steamrolls*
*churrolls*
not funny at all, it’s simply out of order or on construction…
fail fail
On the other side of the wall they’ve painted an escalator, so people never see it coming… *thud*
Now that would be awesome. I would love it if they had a very good mural painted there.
Yes, but then you would have to find an artist who could paint a good mural of an elevator scene. I bet it isn’t as easy as it sounds. I mean, what kind of income could this kind of artist expect?
The real Fail is on the other side of the wall. Especially if it its going towards the wall :p
stairway to hell…
buba thinks that the photographer just reached the end of the world.
3rth person?
Almost fruittastesgood’s avatar and almost my name? I need more coffee before I start posting, I guess.
It's some kind of evil hybrid avatar.*pokes at strange avatar with a stick*
*grabs BN and throws him behind the blast shield*
*strang avatar explodes*
Don’t you know not to poke strange avatars on here? That happens everytime.
AAAAaaaaaah….
*is blown into the sky*
*hands BF a shamwow*
We’re gonna have quite a mess when that double lands.
*stands staring at the sky, waiting for the body double*
Let’s look on my new BDPS (Body double positioning system) and see how he’s doing.
*checks*
He should be over the border into Wales by now. I’ll take the bus there.
*watches the double splash down in the Irish Sea*
I didn’t think he’d make it.
*pays BF the five bucks he lost on that bet*
Oooh, ta! Now, I’d better call and search and des-, I mean, rescue, mission for the poor sod.
*hands MRN a mug of coffee and a breakfast cookie*
I’m on my second – caffeine is good!
Thank you!
Is it OK to have cookies for breakfast? Oh, why not, I’m an adult.
*runs down hall with scissors*
You’re quite welcome MRN. They’re oatmeal cookies: does that count?
*jumps on the couch*
Too much caffeine – maybe I should switch to tea!
I would have milk with the cookies, but I left the refrigerator door open. Oh well, more black coffee, I guess…
MRN honey, I don’t like going through the bleeding control procedures with you. Please be careful.
*takes away regular scissors*
*gives MRN safety scissors*
Be careful it says breakfast cookie -I think it is an oatmeal patty.
buba?
Jenny dosen’t think that Buba got your 3rth person joke.
Ninja thinks so too.Jenny thinks it is good to see Ninja this morning.
*afraid to keep talking like this*
Ninja thinks Jenny should see a psychiatrist about this talking in third person thing.General BondFan4518 ♂ MP of the 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division, Earl of Huntingdon-on-Thames/BFF News reporter/The Speaker of the House is exhausted after having to say his name.
Ninja just laughed.Arthur did the same thing.
As did Afraid
And I
Teff7 missed the point.
Well, that made my day. I think I’ll stop reading the comments now, as they can’t top that.
Spellchecker has also.
Jenny thinks it is triggered by exposure. I will get it under control.
Starting now!
Exposure? Apparently MRN is too late with the camera.
Buba exposed his 3rth leg. Would’ve made a great fail pic.
buba is angry because jennyisbusy usurpated his identity!! >:<
General BondFan4518 ♂ MP of the 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division, Earl of Huntingdon-on-Thames/BFF News reporter/The Speaker of the House did not know that buba’s name was copyrighted.
Not your fault, as it should be written buba ® if it’s copyrighted.
Um,
^
(R)
U
Jenny is sorry, don’t be a usurpater hater please.
me thinks i did the joke
This must be where the 3rth floor is!
My God!! It’s the entrance to Hogwarts.. XD
that tickled my Gagula.
YOU ARE THE 1,000TH PERSON TO SAY THAT! YOU WIN A HOGWARTS TOUR!
WIN!
Plasterboard win?
Baconlube win?
just fruit,
I think I will go watch Footloose w/ Kevin Baconlube.
I’ll take the hole in the floor thanks….
Down the chute…
Platform 10 3/4
I was just going to say, those are the escalators to platform 9 3/4
Starling – what is your avatar? I am scared of it…
mini gag
Dammit. They’re just trying to keep me out of the bargain basement.
I know.
wait a minute!! I recognize this, it was the twilight episode where the mannequins come to life right?? Creepy!!
Testing
MUM!
*squeeze*
MOOOMIN!!!!
*squeezes and salutes*
Quick everyone grab themselves a moomin. *squeeze* I got one.
*bears hugs Emperor and Moomin at the same time*
More regulars! Thank Jesus!
I am irregular.
*squuezes too hard*
*bear hugs Jenny*
You can’t squeeze me too hard.
If you squeeze her hard enough she won’t be irregular anymore.
How do you spell relief?
J-I-M-B-O
and the jetset?
*runs around looking for a moomin to squeeze*
Argh!
All the moomins seem to be taken already.
If I break the Space Time Continuum I could squeeze myself. But that generally leads to getting in trouble.
Implosions and things of the sort. Those don’t sound too good.
I wonder what squeezing a moomin feels like?
*Goes to cubbard and gets out bag of Jet Puffed Marshmellows. Squeezes and smiles.*
And now you know.
now I am addicted to squeezing marshmellows.
*squeeze*
I came back tonight just to add up some gags – but was thrown off track by a Moomin squeeze.
*Squeezes and Smiles*
Heeheehee.
It’s like a marshmallow came to life and squeezed you back
Does it go up or down?.
Left or right?Democrat or Republican?
Smellephant or ass
Limbaugh or Gingrich
Ginger or Mary Ann?
*pouts* I like yours better!
Are you preemptively answering “John or Paul”?
I was thinking of going with “The Professor or Gilligan”, but again – I like yours better
So:
Yes.
Paper or plastic?
Spellcheck or grammar check?
Dumbo or eeore
Coulter or Steinem?
TEST COMMENT
Too loud! Turn down the volume.
I guess the TEST failed – never saw a follow up comment. Maybe he was just feeling a little test-y.
Maybe the estate of Charles Schultz is just that quick at squelching unlicensed usage of Snoopy’s picture.
The red baron got him.
Watch your tone of voice.OOooOoohhHHHhhh Is this better?
*Impersonating Julia Chiles*
This HHHHHhiiiilllls are aalllive with the sooounnnnd of muuuuusiiiic….
*Impersonating Julie Andrews*
*Wild laughing w/ giant mouth*
Whoa, Haa ha ha ha ha.
*Impersonating Julia Roberts*
“I’m not a lesbian. I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian. ”
*impersonating Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine)*
(One more)
Beware the ides of March.
*Julius Caeser*
(I lied)
uh-uh-uh
*Julia Stiles trying to be black*
Just try to stop this dunk!
*Julius Erving* (click)
.
(Actually, not as impressive anymore since Jordan et al)
Why’d you dunk me?
*shakes toilet water out of hair*
You made an A!
Made with stimulus money
That just reminded me of this clickie.OMG! When did that happen? Do they mean next Friday, or did I already miss the deadline? Help!!
I love the onion. My clickie is just looney tunes…..
I have an atlas by the Onion, and it is hi-larious. They add false labels to all their maps of countries, like “Place where Uruguayans cannot remember if this is Paraguay or not”.
I believe I’ve seen one. It was very funny.
All aboard the failalator!
Nobody wants to ride my failalator.
sniff sniff
Sure I do, but you can’t see me, ’cause I’m on the other side of that wall.
Dedicates a Doors song to MRN:
Break on through to the other side.
When the music’s over, turn out the lights.
~Woosh~
*looks around for what flew over my head*
Didn’t want to go for something more popular, like Hello, I love you.
Let me jump in your game.
Jump away
People Are Strange
Of course! – We could be so good together.
come on baby, light my fire
Touch me, baby
Cant you see that I am not afraid?
Seriously – I wanna listen to some Doors now. I forgot how many good songs they made.
Do it! – or you’ll be an Unhappy Girl.
Time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now, we can only lose…
(clickie!)
Excellent! YouTube is probably the greatest treasure on the Internet. It’s like the Library of Congress and the National Trust, etc, of our day.
Thanks 3. That was a good start to my Doors-a-thon.
*lost in You Tube and Doors vids*
You’re lost little girl…
Impossible? Yes, but it’s true
I think that you know what to do, yeah
I’m sure that you know what to do
*finally surfaces after day-long You Tube marathon*
*rubs eyes*
My eyes have seen you
Stand in your door
When we meet inside
Show me some more
All in all your just another escalator in the wall
-pink floyd (sucks)
Well show me the way to the next whiskey bar…
*asks why*
Oops, not supposed to ask why…
It’s failevator, dummy. What school did you go to?
It’s an escalator, not an elevator, sneakergimp.
*refrains from name calling*
if this is an excavator joke than ha ha.
If not you fail gimpy.
By the way I went to Astronaut School to be a Rocket Surgeon – but I dropped out.
Wow 3 replies to my OBVIOUS fallacy. That’s a win indeed.
Failevator *sounds* better. In my head.
You should beware the voices in your head.
Wrong pic. Ha.
first!!!1!
OMG FUNNY
Mr.Kool-Aid doesn’t see the problem with this picture.
did he live?
im fаggot and gonna die from аids soon
A troll of a troll. How original.
did he die?
AAARGHHH!!!!
*head implodes*
*Tries to repair with general bondo then realizes that fix-a-flat may be more effective.*
Fix-a-flat? Trying to change F minor to F major?
trying to replode the head of:
General BondFan4518 ♂ MP of the 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division, Earl of Huntingdon-on-Thames/BFF News reporter/The Speaker of the House says:
*strides in*
Okay, who blew the head off my body double?
Oh! Thank goodness it was a body double! My repairs were not going very well.
*glances over at body*
*face turns green*
Is that even anatomically possible?
*rushes to the toilet while holding mouth*
Hope MRN doesn’t give me another swirly – now that you have been in there. What did you eat for dinner?
Eh… I wouldn’t consider that a fail. Well, maybe a little bitty fail.
maybe a little titty whale…
little witty flail
a little pitty mail
pretty sure that’s under construction
The backdoor to station 9 3/4.
How many more times can this gag be repeated?
gag
How many times can posters say, “That’s not a fail, that’s a win!”, BFF? They shall continue ad nauseum and never realize they are superfluous and redundant.
Very true. I think I shall call all repetetive trolls “broken records” from now on.
Awww. And I contributed. *hangs head*
Broken record.
…
Louis Braille? Is that you?
Hah! I didn’t see that one coming!
Were you blinded by it?
Almost as bad as having my eyes closed the entire time.
What can I use to clean my monitor? I got smears all over it from trying to read the braile.
…-.. … .
Well at least they started the job.
“you are coming to the end of the esculator, please be careful”
Is it me or is anyone else reminded of the 1970’s dawn of the dead?
Well this is idea is certainly going into my zombie defense plan.
photoshopped!
I believe that escalator goes to the Stimulus Funds Accountability Department.
Kool-Aid man’s escalator.
WTH
It’s not a fail. Often times department stores close off floors simply because they choose not to maintain it and are downscaling.
weird
The escalator going into the Pontiac division of Gm?
WIN
I use that escalator all the time.
its teh 4th wall!!
Wow a escatltor that has been blocked off … by a wooden temp wall …
Erm hows this a fail -_-
It takes you to Wall-Mart.
it’s obviously due to construction or repairs.
ONCE AGAIN, FAILBLOG FAILS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont quite understand how a thing like this can happen
I’ve seen this before. A long time ago (in a gal…nvr mind). But really, I saw something very similar to this years ago when a mall nearby was expanding and access to the bottom floor was barred. Just a remodel made to look ‘homey’ so it wouldn’t be an eyesore. Now they just put a big cardboard looking sign that says, ‘coming soon’ or whatever.
It’s escalator 9 and 3/4! well, guess i need to be a wizard to head up or downstairs easily.
did it die?
This i photoshopped… look at it closely!
It isn’t youre a moron.
Dude. I know where this was taken. Can you believe its at a Casino? Cause that’s what makes it SO much funnier.
Silly, that’s the wall Harry Potter uses!
*goes through wall*
hello harry potter, can i have cheezy poofs?
Haha. Some drunk guy’s gonna walk into the wall because of that.
it only work if u wall hack
the “failavator”?
hehe
“OUT OF ORDER” is that so?
lol wat an awsome company name lol