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I would go for the iPhone, still.
Shows how truly stupid the guy is.
.
*squeeze*
The mic has to be attached to camera or recording devise. It’s not like he could just walk away with it.
He didn’t. I think he tripped and they caught him. D’oh.
DID HE DIE???
Yes.
Awesome.
they dismembered his body piece by piece, until he sat there dead. duh…. lol
And then
they rape him
several times.
at all his body openings at the same time…
The best part of apart raping him AFTER he’s been cut up is that everyone can get a piece.
go kill yourself
Stay right where, you are. I need to get my shotgun.
*takes a jump to the left*
And a step to the riiiiiiiight
To the left to the left…
*suspects that Gigoxy was not yet born in the 1980’s*
Put your hands on your hips!
Bring your knees in tight!
Then it’s the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insAAaaAAaaAAaane
This is the time.
And this is the record of the time.
It looks. Don’t you think it looks a lot like rain?
It’s a sky blue sky.
nada como mi amorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
and then a step to the right?
lets do the time warp again.
Yes, a step to the riiiiiiight. You do the pelvic thrust and pull your knees in tiiiiiiiiight.
Couldn’t you people just keep the comments about the video? Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ??? Is that your real name?? That’s incredible because I heard of another Jesus Christ! Not a very common name!
*sigh* Spy D REALLY dosen’t get the point of the comment system, does he?
Well there was this one Jesus guy I heard about, came into the desert on a bus with a black guy , a hooker and a bunch of hippies. Good music.
Jesus was just like our modern day magicians…you know pulling rabbits out of their hats.
hahaha
Give up man
I never comment but the comments are funnier than the post most of the times!
For each 10 posts 11 isn’t fun as the comments
They’re called “comments,” rather than “relevant discussion”
For real, dude, the comments on this site are as annoying as the cheezburger site. I will look at them if I don’t really understand a fail, and all I see is a bunch of pointless bulls*it coming from people who have too much time on their hands. And then they’ll comment back with something they consider “witty,” showing that they not only have too much time on their hands, but their sense of humor sucks, too.
Awww… we love you, too.
…Toast, you’re taking comments on a humour site way too seriously.
This is honestly the POINT of having comments on these things.
Stop being so uptight, learn to have a little immature fun, maybe your knickers will untwist.
What i dont get is why that guy toast under or above (i really dont give a shit) says people have no life because they sit here and comment yet hes sitting here reading them.. hey at least im not a liar. and your mother plays cardgames in hell btw
Needs security my butt. They caught him just fine.
Wireless mics have been around for many years.
There is no wire anywhere to be seen.
I can’t tell for sure… I think it’s wireless?
moowski!! *squeeze*
*smooch!*
Like the new look?
I think it is, and there seems to be a guy that bumped the guy that was stealing the mic.
But was he wireless?
yes, and so as the mic.
It’s probably wireless, dude.
yeah, this or:
“dude, probably it’s wireless”
“White man talk much, say little.” ~ apt American Indian quote
You know what it might be wireless.
What if it’s wireless?
Then the guy that is running away with it is radioactive.
He does have that morning-after glow, doesn’t he?
His face is radiant with glee.
He needs to get a (half) life instead of stealing mics.
That is the core of the problem.
Not if it’s wireless, which is a possibility.
I dunno, fluffy…that might be a wireless mic he has there.
*squeeze* How’s my favorite Dragon?
Mr cuddles!!
*squeeeeeeze!*
I’m great, thanks. How was Ireland? Did you bring back any good stories for me?
Ireland was amazing. I should have the pictures up within the next day or so.
Unfortunately, the only story I have is that I got strep throat from kissing the Blarney Stone
You’re lucky that’s all you got!
*squeeze*
I just gave you a big squeeze down below, but I’ll give you another one! *squeeze*
Can’t have too many cuddlesqueezes!
*Hides X-phile in comfy crate earlier inhabited by Brewski*
*Hides crate in cave*
Don’t hide him here.
And don’t hide him in MY dragon-cave!
Or you’ll what? Tan his hide?
It’s okay; it was a double-bluff. I actually sent him to another location throught the use of a teleportation spell!
*looks chuffed with self*
OK, I get it.
*sniff*
I’ll just be over here in the corner, by myself.
*sniff*
Woot!
have you ever heard of wireless?
What's this you speak of?It sounds complicated. When it’s opened up, I bet there’s a bunch of wires inside.
Oh hey! That sounds familiar.. I think I maybe do know wireless.
Is it at all related to wiremore?Unless it’s one of them fam-dangled wireless devices.
jump in front of the next bus you see
Lol. ever heard of wireless?
hi velvet! *squeeze*
Hey there, abstract! *squeeze*
It’s really eerie that the reporter opens the segment by saying, “We’re going to need some security around here probably.”
Is it eerie? Or was it a setup?
Oh, no…that was totally photoshopped. Just look at the pixels!
Are the pixels wireless?
Probably.
The pixies are wireless too, and they’re wearing pixels, how cool is that?
(I’m sick and not in my right mind, and my left mind is on holiday … got a postcard the other day, it was very nice)
Oops, forgot to change my title back from that wordplay a few weeks (or was it days?) ago … ugh.
Yes, I really comment that often
You mean stupider than Fox News and its watchers?
I’m sorry my dear, but this is impossible!
This really reminds me of Phil Parlock, the schmuck who repeatedly staged the story of The Evil Liberal Who Tore Up My Little Daughter’s Sign.
The third time it “happened,” it got national airplay. Some enterprising soul googled Parlock’s homepage and found family photos, and it turned out that The Evil Liberal who was caught on camera… was none other than Phil Parlock Jr, his adult son. Truth is often stranger than fiction – not to mention FAILier and funnier.
He was reaching for the phone, but he got the mic instead, should have watched what he was grabbing. an escape plan would have probably helped too.
an escape plan? im pretty sure his watch was just off a few seconds. i mean, he scoped out this scenario for two weeks and the escape plan was on the last page. maybe the dog ate it?
I’ve had a iphone for 2 years, its a piece of crap. Palm Pre here I come. At least I’ll “own” the phone.
Thi is an old video, came out when 1st iphone was launched. It’s of a dumb guy who tried to steal the iphone but accidentally grabbed the mic instead. He couln’t even get away with THAT, HA!
I hope they broke his nose when they tackled him. Dork.
If only the fallen photographer yesterday could have received even a fraction of the response we see here.
ROFL!!
WTfail?
How did FB choose which “clean getaway” post to use?
I think that was number 52.
Oh oh. 10 off.
*squeeze* Hey WN!
Hiya mr cuddles! Alas, I’m not around much anymore, but it’s good to see you back!
!
?
.
#
@
~
%
@#$%^&
Duh, stoopid! You ruined it.. only one symbol!
.!
(Dedicated to Arthur)
&
.?!
heres my 5eagle impresino.,
waht do u think.?!
Of him? Not much.
I know this is a contentious topic, but is this 5 eagles guy a troll or not? I’m confused. I don’t mean any offence.
hard to say. Fruit cake was in the begining, but now he’s ok… that no name b*tch definitley is.
I just think he’s annoying and somewhat obnoxious. He seems to think that we should all think he’s the funniest, coolest guy around and that we should all ignore his language barrier.
I thought that we took away one of his eagles… shouldn’t he be 4 eagles.
He keeps forgetting. It’s the amnesia.
I’ve taken away one eagle two or three times, but he gets them back somehow.
*Permanently poaches 4 eagles*
He’s on his last eagle.
I think he has more stashed away somewhere.
Hey Avis, I dunno if you saw this, I posted it on yesterdays topic. It explains why I m a g e is a bad word.
The I word gets flagged because with html it can be used as a keyword. Now because maybe they didn’t protect acceptable lengths and heights in the i m a g e s ’s properties I could break word wrap with some code. This would be a no-no and could put replying or commenting in general out of commission for a long time. That or they would have to wipe the entire thread. I m a g i n e me putting a splash p i c t u r e that would take up the whole screen. With some more code, i could get it to follow you as you scroll. Meaning no more posting.
Seen it done before, ruined some forums for a while till they wisened up. “And now you know.”
Sorry to anyone who read it yesterday, I just wanted to let it be known. Also this is probably not the place for it, but I thought since you asked Avis I would tack it on to one of your posts.
I thought the problem word was i m a g i n e.
The html code for im a g e modifications is just I m a g. That is the problem, the root of the word causes the flag to go up.
Not familiar with “imag”.
Are you talking about in HTML, which is actually I M G not I M A G? Or some other code?
Caghs it is actually ima g height, ima g width, etc. Im g is a substitute. It is generally acceptable in most languages and also common practice to use the a in there. Object oriented programming often pushes the use of the a but just recently the have are changing. The other theory could be that the way they display our avatars and the word they used to set up the parameters for the picture to show could be i m a g e. Usually in the creation of a new variable, whether that variable holds a picture or something they use the proper name for what it is going to hold. For example, Var iable variab le = ne w Var iable( ). Spaces take out of course.
OOP isn’t HTML, and the comment specified HTML. In which case, it’s I M G. Try using I M A G in HTML, it won’t work, regardless of whether it works in OOP programming languages.
If one was to use CSS, one would use i m a g e-width: 120px; etc … but again, CSS isn’t HTML.
One Failblogger’s troll is another’s playmate. It’s up to you to decide for yourself how you want to view him.
For my part…? Troll.
I vote troll as well.
If you remember, he is the one that told Dragonwriter to “Eat ____.”
Really? Then I take back my comment below and simply say: Troll.
If he makes Dragon upset…troll…
*squeeze!*
My valiant defenders.
Ironic, isn’t it DW? Since you’re the one who can *FOOM* and all
Yah…but it’s always good to know I’ve got you guys at my back!
Always!
Always indeed!
Heh, DW doesn’t really need any defending, but it makes you feel good when you can spare her the effort once in a while.
I’m glad she has OUR backs!
Hey! I *FOOMED* once…
Erm…no, sweetie. You actually did more of a “phut” and then we had to crack open a window…
I was asked to leave the restaurant.
Troll is too much, imo. I think he tries to contribute. But fails. Pretty annoying, that’s for sure.!
Anyone who uses false civility for an opportunity to hurl insults at people (and no, I’m not just thinking about the fact that he insulted me–I actually got more upset when he insulted my friends a couple of days ago) is, in my opinion, a troll.
Yup, it was unprovoked and unnecessary for his “joke”, too.
I’m unsure if I saw that happening. Anyway, as I said above, I take that comment back and henceforth consider him a troll.
I will give him the benefit of doubt. He has until his eagles reach 0 to redeem himself. As I recall he had one taken away already so he is at 4.
Actually, I’m pretty sure that WN has taken them all away by this point.
Oh?! If WN has there must be a good reason. My vote has been cast.
I think you are correct, you have successfully identified him as a troll. 15000 points to you all. (AA you might razz me for this but I am siding with gen pop.) Not that Dragon needs anymore support, but definitely siding with her on this one. (Usually entails being right as well).
Hehe.! Dunno why I find that so annoying.?!
Arthur!
*squeeeeeeeeze!*
Hello mighty Dragon! How are you?
*squeeze*
OOOF!
I am squoze! Which means I’m well, theng-kew. And you?
Life is a pretty cool thing, so I’m fine. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to be here as often. Missed all of you (minus the trolls).
Yah, we missed you too. Several people have been caught up in that whole “have a life outside of Failblog” thing…hmph. Priorities, people!
FB has taken over my life. Whenever I get woken up by my alarm I press the squoze button.
We missed you, too, Arthur, particularly on the later fails.
*squeeze*
*gives AA a big tight squeeze*
Ooof! You’ve been working out?
Thank you, Dragon and Admiral. In the evenings it’s always more difficult, because my workday is over and I mostly spend time with my girlfriend.
-. — — -… … ?
.-.. — .-.. !
*hides under box*
Hamsters! I like pudding.
*shakes Moowski for doing the Hampster dance*
.
What on earth did you smoke this morning?!?
.
I dunno, this new name has me giddy. At some point yesterday somebody awarded a “Random Comment of the Day” award, and I said it wasn’t random enough. And replied with the above.
*sneaks back to boy’s room for another toke*
Puff puff pass, dude!
*passes 5-foot tall skull bong to X-Phile*
*sucks skull*
Man, you know, if we could just, like, yeah man, you know what I mean.
*kicks container of oregano and thyme behind the couch and laughs at Moowski and X-Phile*
*SQUEEZIE!*
.
I tried to squeeze you yesterday, but there were too many people in the way.
.
I’m glad you had a great trip despite getting sick. But I’m more glad that you’re back home safe & sound!
*SQUEEZE* aww, thanks Velvet!
*does double-take on X-Phile sucking skull*
*realizes it’s not real, just a bong*
*loses interest*
Nonresequitur? Renonsequitur?
Pick one so I can add it to my dictionary.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!
This is like deja vu all over again.
here, i’ll help. clicky
It’s hamsterrific!!
This is what shows up if you do a google search for Hamster Deathmatch. Completely work safe.
I love that poster! I need to track down the artist and get an original print.
*checks out clickie*
*dies laughing … or undies laughing … or … uh …*
*falls down laughing*
.
Horizontally, not vertically …
.
*rolls on floor in hysterics*
*lol* That’s twisted.
Do NOT, however, search for “hamster duct tape”. At least not at work.
The poster does not say anything about attaching a roman candle to your hamster.
eeewwwwwww.
Great. Now this song is going to be stuck in my head all day.
*wanders away, humming ‘deedadeedadeedeedodo…’*
*doesn’t know the song*
*is perfectly contentl to not know it*
Yentl? Is that you?
Please, have some more:
“Once there was this kid who
Got into an accident and couldn’t come to school…”
And I counter with
“Lollipop, lollipop, ooh lolly-lolly-lolly lollipop!”
*pop*
“Ba-doom-doom-doom”
I have found a new level of loathing and direct it at X for that.
“On your own,
trying to make sense of it all!”
-Wishbone Ash, On your own
Little known band from yesteryear, efinately worth checking out
And I counter THAT with this:
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
*plugs ears*
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!
It’s not working! Damn you BFF!
:cries:
I’m beginnig to believe you actually like that song…
Aw, I’m sorry. How about a nice rendition of:
A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we’re only dreaming
*places a nice earworm at the bottom of the fail for friends to enjoy*
*performs an amazing Elfman impersonation, despite being dead and all*
.
♪ I looked death in the face last night
I saw him in a mirror
And he simply smiled
He told me not to worry
He told me just to take my time♪
way too funny!
I just want to tell you both good luck, we’re all counting on you.
The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Permanecer sentado por favor. Remain seated please!
aseid toi, sil vous plait! (pardon my spelling it’s been a few years since french class)
Starfish, I know this is off topic and everything, but I too am for the abolition of truck nuts. I don’t care if they are blue or silver or “skin” colored. They should be BANNED. ((((hugs))) we have a cause, and we will lose, but we CARE!!!! chants *no truck nuts!*
Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
.
*absolutely LOVES that movie*
vu… vu…. vu…
Yogi Berra?
(clicky)
I thumb my nose in your general direction!
do you bite your thumb at me sir?
Not at you good sir. But I do bite my thumb.
Nay, sir, not at thee, but I do bite my thumb.
You guys SO rock.
*is smiling*
The bad thing is, we both got it wrong
)
Doesn’t matter. It’s the thought that counts.
here ya go “No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir. “
In my defense I wrote that from memory and the last time I read Romeo and Juliet was 12 years ago in 9th grade.
I was in 10th grade, but it was 14 years ago.
same here, presently calculating # of years it’s been since 9th grade. 11 years
oh, wait, 12 years. math has never been my stron suite, and i can’t remember what year that was. 1998 i think
lolz!!! or 1997
*Feels. Really. Dang. Old.*
it’s ok lurk, age matters not, you can fail no matter how young or old you are. *squeeze*
Don’t feel too bad, Lurk…I’m in grade 33.
Thanks, I think.
*squeezes gently, trying not to move head*
DW – 1933?
*bumps lusuallylurk passing by, hoping to make her feel younger*
*animated rotting corpses tend to have that effect on the living*
Do you quarrel, sir?
That’s a fair thought to lie between maids’ legs.
If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you.
No better?
Well, sir.
Say “better,” here comes one of my master’s kinsmen.
Yes, better, sir.
Part, fools!
Put up your swords; you know not what you do
What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds? Turn thee, Benvolio, look upon thy death.
What noise is this? Give me my long sword, ho!
.
‘the wrong line but I find it punnier”
Did Ben(dover)lio say that?
‘Lord Capulet’
My sword, I say! Old Montague is come,
And flourishes his blade in spite of me.
Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow.
Part, fools!
Put up your swords; you know not what you do.
well, fine, if you insist *throws sword on ground*
Python burn!
Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!
i can’t decide which is better. i’ll go with hamsters! can i have one, please?
OK. Hold on, I need to get the duct tape.
Darn it, where is it? I think DW must have hoarded it all.
She wouldn’t have taken your duct tape, silly. She’s got a lifetime supply.
…Of the sparkly stuff, too!
Don’t forget the honey and lemon scented. I like how it still smells nice hours later. Not all of the sticky stuff comes off after a shower.
*sits down, munches popcorn*
Poor Rian…
*sits next to Arthur, opens cooler*
Yup. Do you think this is far enough away?
I hope so. What is it, a mile? Should be ok, but the beer might get warm from the FOOOOOM!ing. Better drink it fast!
*Open a couple of beers, offers one*
It’s a dark beer.
I’ll try everything once, thanks! Wait, that doesn’t apply to crack, sodomy or bungee. And some other things.
*eyes Arthur’s ankles suspiciously*
arthur, want to try some dragon grog?
*very large explosion can be seen about a mile off and great waves of fire billow up into the still, Failblog air…*
Not again! I’ll get the ShamWows.
Thanks Ms B, you’re very kind. Here, you’ll need this, too.
*hands Ms B a spatula*
*throws Ms. B a hazard suit before she starts the clean-up* Can never be too careful! *squeeze*
*Walks into room covered in charred flesh*
*Cough*
Ow…
*Falls over*
So, what did you learn today, Rian?
Don’t interrupt with the shock face or else get burnt to a crisp?
*Waves bye*
*Traverses off to work*
The lesson is: Don’t interupt Dragon and her Admiral, period.
I would think Admiral is permanent, not just a period.
My bad.
Sorry, I’m all out of hamsters. How about a gerbil in a microwave? (clickie)
Hey! Gimme!
No! You can’t have it! MINE! MINE!
Mine?
Mine.
Mine!!!
Mine!
*explodes*
Dammit, he’s surrounded us.
*surrenders*
*puts on WWII German colonel accent*
Ach! Zo you Englishers haf been trapped again!
Minefield clear, sir. You can advance when you’re ready.
All that time spent playing minesweeper finally paid off!
You’re rats with wings!
?
Shark bait?
Ooh..ba…ba….doo…….
Do be do be do.
Landshark!
Did you do that on porpoise?
Wow, lots of pun runs today. I am going to have to tuna few out.
That’s what I call taking the Mic!
Stealing the show!
A runaway performance!
Robbing the Rover.
Shoplifting the puddy.
Grabbing center stage!
Nicking the limelight!
Taking the attention away!
Stealing my thunder!
Taking away the wind in my sails
“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this mic yours? I have one that looks just like it, I thought you had grabbed it. Hey! Why are you hitting me?”
ok, well that’s one way to get your 15 min. of fame.
Not even 15 minutes. Maybe 10 seconds.
Whoa, 10 seconds! You would have thought he could held out a little longer before blowing it al over the pavement.
Some guys are just premature like that.
i laughed really hard at that. actually, i think that was my first ever *snork*
*bows*
*watches for Judy*
I’m honored to present you with your first *snork*
*waves to X-Phile*
I’m back here!
*stands up quickly*
Oh, hi Judy. Time’s up, back to evil?
Sure, go for it, babe. Can I help? I’m just in one of those moods today!
5eagles is down below. Let’s f*ck with him.
*joins in*
You two go on ahead. There’s an open cooler of beer up there ^. I’m going to go join Aiki and Arthur.
*heads for cold beer*
Apparently we think alike!
See below.
lol, i was slow on that!
15 minutes? he’ll get like 30 hours of community service my friend. More of a ‘local’ fame, but still…
He was just trying to stop Levy from being peppered with questions.
Now he’ll be charged with a salt.
He’s lucky they didn’t use mace on him.
He might be able to curry favor if he apologizes.
For those that weren’t around FB in October 2008:
http://www.failblog.org/2008/10/21/pepper-fail/
I posted a link to a previous fail, so of course it’s awaiting moderation. For those that weren’t around FB in October 2008, search for “pepper fail”.
*SNORK!*
Holy crap we’re punny. That was a good one!
*smoooooooch*
Hee! Yes it was.
*smoooooch!*
Caught him just in thyme.
After that, he’s walking a little gingerly.
Perhaps he’s gained sage wisdom.
I think he just got car(ried)away.
Not exactly the way I’d want to get MY 15 minutes of fame, I gotta say.
He doesn’t have your range of talent.
Though he was really reaching…
lolz i beat you to it. *squeeze*
Simultaneous actually. Well, almost.
Excuse me, can I borrow that, please?
He acted very lavalier about the whole thing.
Unforgiveable. He should get the electret chair.
I’m applying for a patent on an electric couch for four inmates at once.
He grabbed the wrong object, and he got caught…it was a parabolics.
You guys are so dynamic…I’m in awe.
This pun run seems to have a unidirectional approach rather than a shotgun effect.
For the record, this is likely to be a very brief pun run… easily condensered down to a few puns.
It seems to be powered by a phantom.
These trees behind me now were planted over forty years ago . . .
Hey aja! You are powering a fail on the Vote page! Did you see it?
Woo. I’ll look later. Off to vote for the EU elections now.
If this had to happen to someone, I’m glad it was Fox News. Still…
Fox Viewers don’t use Apple products.
if only he woulda said something sweet into the mic like YOINK!
Or started to sing Blue Christmas Elvis-style. Complete with body movements.
Or even a Nelson Muntz style “Ha, ha!”
or even breathing heavy, something!! i agree that would have made it more of an epic wireless fail. or maybe an ooomf, when he hit the ground.
Fox News… Can you say… Karma
Krama. Kammer. Karba.
Hmmm….
Akram. Rakama. ABRAKADABRA, dammit!
No, I can’t. Sorry.
♪ I wanna reach out and grab ya!!♫
*is suddenly scared*
Are you wireless?
*checks*
Nope.
Whew!
Thanks Brewski. I find that song to be one of the most vile auditory insults ever created.
ahh, found it!
I believe he goes by “Moowski” now…
Not a Steve Miller fan, Admiral? It’s a bit of an earworm, isn’t it? I could have sung… no, I can’t do it!!
That’s a song that even most Steve Miller fans hate.
Thanks Starfish. Some reinventions are monstrous.
BFF beat you to it ^ there.
Steve Miller is fine…just not THAT song.
*eyes turn red*
*voice turns dalek like*
We. Are. Not. Wireless. Join. Us. Join. Us. Join. Us.
*lurches forward with arms outrstretched*
Aww, you want a hug, right? *squeeze*
*explodes*
GBF, we’ve been putting you back together an awful lot lately…
*squeezes BFF’s pieces before he begins to put him together again*
I know, there must be some sort of trigger that sets me off. I haven’t found it yet, but I know it’s there somewhere.
*scratches head*
*explodes*
Aw, not again!
I had nothing to do with this body double’s demise.
I’m running out of body doubles, now! I’ll have to use somebody else, then…
*cackles maniacally*
I noticed Brewski has a body double you could use. Or, I give you leave to substitute trolls.
A troll?! For a body double?!?! Goodness gracious, the thought of it! I can’t have some good-for-nothing rascal acting as me!
I’ll ask Moowski if I can borrow one of his.
*facedesk*
AAAAAH!!! WRONG REPLY BUTTON!!!!!
*facedesk facedesk facedesk*
But it would be fun to blow them up.
Of course. That could be an effective way of getting rid of them.
HAHA! I like the skip he does as he attempts to flee… via skipping?!? LMAO
Maybe he was headed to the loo?
That was a darlin’ little comment.
It would have been more so if he was skipping….
What an A-hole
This is a videobomb WIN! Who cares about the iPhone. F*ck Fox News.
It is a fail because he failed to pull this off succesfully. Do you get it?
I applaud the effort as a WIN. I get it.
Unfortunetly one doesn’t get far on effort alone. FNC got their mic back and all was well in their world. Now if he had actually escaped that would have been anywhere from a slight win to an epic win, depending on where FNC keeps their spare mics.
BTW, are you looking for a latex salesman by any chance.
Hope that noone filmed him stealing, or else he is in real trouble.
No, no-one did, apart from the FOX News camera filming the entire incident.
Thief rule #1: DO NOT attempt to steal anything when there is a full camera crew standing in front of you.
He was thinking ahead to Thief rule #4: PROFIT.
So sad.
No one plans things out anymore. Just take, take, take. I mean, how can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?
So what shall we do to fill the empty spaces?
We could hang ourselves.
10,000 internets to anyone who gets that reference.
Um…huh.
Ren and Stimpy???
I’ll be honest, I even looked it up and couldn’t get the reference.
Waiting for Godot. A play by Sam Beckett.
Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart were staging Waiting for Godot a few weeks ago here in London. I’m thinking of going to see it.
I’m not sure if I could sit through it again. I like it, but the whole point of existentialism is pointlessness.
Also at the end of a Pink Floyd song.
we came in … ♫♫♫ … isn’t this where
Whenever I hear that name – Sam Beckett – I can’t help but picture the Quantum Leap dude.
But who believes FOX News?
Good point.
*Slowly raises hand*
*looks around*
*lowers hand quickly*
*raises hand*
*holds Rian’s hand up*
Be proud, son. We must hang together, or we’ll surely hang seperately.
There are more than you think out there, Arthur…
More than seven?!?
More than seven times seven, I’m afraid.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
There, there….
*pat pat pat*
Express Haxored?
I only believe Fox News a small part of the time, since they’re essentially half conservative and half liberal, and I’m neither
it’s true, i’m not one of them, thank god!
Somehow I don’t think that came out the way I intended it. Did it?
Did you intend to insinuate that you do believe Fox News?
Yes, that’s what I was insinuating. I read it again, and it looked kinda gay.
Now, see…THAT wouldn’t have bothered anyone.
Good job. Now you’ve added some homophobia. What’s next?
Well he did say he watched fox news, so I just assumed that was the case.
I hope you’re pretending to be evil right now, because if this is your good…
No wonder so many liberal men are gay, have you seen liberal women?
*hopes no liberal women are about*
*Feels uncomfortable again*
Umm, I do believe I’m not gay.
(Hey Admiral!)
*inserts [/sarcasm] in above comment*
You know, this could go very bad very quickly. Let’s stop here, ok?
Too late.
Better late than pregnant.
How’s that foot tasting…? Need salt?
Tastes just fine, thank you. Really, though sorry. No offense intended, my dear DW. You know I luvs you!
*conservative hug*
X-Phile, do you find it as amusing as I do that so many people “hate” the only mainstream news that’s actually balanced? EVERY other “news” outlet is liberal, and Fox is split about 50/50, but they’ve all been conditioned to hate anything that’s not liberally biased.
Ah well – that’s life in the Brave New America!
WN, I think the problem was rather his slightly homophobic comment than him believing Fox.
okeedokeesmokee
And with that, I must needs go…
Must not get caught on non-lunch time!!!
LMAO…
Plus his implication that liberal women are ugly.
*blows a kiss at departing WN*
You’ll be missed!
*waves to WN*
*nods to DW*
X-Phile, are you next in line to inherit a furniture store by any chance?
Actually, I thought the problem was Fox News. Everything else was a joke that just didn’t work. I should have said most liberal women. Liberal dragons excluded.
Dig up stupid!
Yeah…that’s not working, either. Quit while you’re behind.
Let’s just drop it and move on. Is that ok with all you peeps?
I tried to let it go, no one else would.
You’re accountable for what you say here. Just sayin’.
Accountable to whom?
To the collective, myriad, and varied denizens who call this blog home. I do believe we have proven on a number of occasions that folks cannot abuse and insult people here without repercussions, and without being asked to take responsibility for it.
People are free to express their opinion, and others are free to question it. Don’t expect to make intolerant remarks in a crowd and not have them challenged. The blog is no different than anywhere else,
Nice comma-ntation!
Heh, it looks like I dozed off.
I always knew you were a dozy fellow.
*smooch*
*adjusts himself* Am I still hanging out?
Uh, yeah, a little. Here, let me help.
*censored*
There! All better!
Hee…!
*squeezes friends*
So what’s on the bar menu today, Judy?
mimosas are getting a bit old, so we have margaritas and long island iced tea on special. Also available, cosmopolitans and martinis. That’s the contribution on my end today. Not sure about Judy, but she must have wandered off.
Margarita please? Double?
She was very distracted when she had to *censor* my lower half…
I believe I’ll stick with juice for today.
Margaritas it is nice big fishbowl margaritas. yum!
Well, I never did get to try that Mojito you poured for me last night. Let’s start with that. I’ve never tasted one before.
Mmm, a mojito sounds nice. Can I have one with sprite instead of club soda please? I’ll pay with squeezes!
oh, thay are disgusting! oh, so gross! I had one once and wanted desperately to send it back! I drank it though, it was $7.00
Thanks Judy! *squeeze*
I’m at your disposal whenever you have the need, my dear!
Am I too late?? Feeling a bit down today…
Mojitos are nice on a sunny day like today.
It’s never too late for mojitos!
*cheer-up squeeeze*
*joins cheer-up squeeze*
You’re great, Moowski!
Thanks guys! You’re the greatest!
I need a Haxored
Wow, right on cue!
A 180-Haxored with a Mr. Green-twist!
*sweet, cheery squeezes*
*collects sweet, cheery juice*
*adds vodka and ice*
What do we call this?
*grabs mojito on the run*
Much as I hate to leave, I’m off to hoist a brew with some work associates, in honor of 3 birthdays that all fall during this week. Happy failing!!
*squeezes all*
Happiness-in-a-glass.
*smoooch*
Enjoy, Moowski!
*smoooches DW*
*sees a run of smileys, tries to get one like him in the chatter*
[img]http://www.smileydesign.net/smileys/zombie13.gif[/img]
*wonders if that worked, or failed as expected*
*sees that failed*
*figures the living can handle copy/paste to see the zombie smiley*
*decides a clickie might make it easier for the living to handle*
That’s darling, ZA. Why don’t you make that your avatar? (www.gravatar.com)
*Stands proud*
Yes! Yes I do believe in FOX!
Because internet explorer hates everything.
Dang…
Danger…
Dangerou…
Dangerousl…
Dangerously w…
Dangerously wet…
Dangerously wetter p…
Dangerously wetter pinno…
Dangerously wetter pinor noir.
(sorry, had to lose an “n”.
(should that have been pinot? I think so.)
Ah, I knew what you meant.
*holds out glass hopefully*
Dangerously wetter pinnogram…
Dangerously…
Wow….I even checked before posting that.
Ten minutes…
This is old, he was going to grab the iphone when I first heard about it, and accidentally grabbed the mic.
I am back !?!?!?!?!?
Nope.
He doesn’t know where he is? He must have amnesia!
We wish.
We could put him in a stud farm and convince him he’s a mare.
Arthur, don’t read this thread.
It’s wireless.
I call it a BMW WIN!!!!”!!
*roffle*
You mean – *roffle.!*.?!?.??/
fluffy, have I told you how much I adore your lorem ipsum?
hehe no. Thanks.
Well, they didn’t have a sticker that said you couldn’t steal the mic…
Fire Extinguisher
DO NOT STEAL
Hey everyone!
Sorry that I wasn’t around to kill those trolls yesterday, it looks as though ZA took care of them though.
Coincidence really, I was in a rotting mood. Or is that a rotten mood? I was angry. You know, it was kinda fun!
wait, i took a 2 hour nap, and there is almost TWO HUNDRED posts? jeez guys, cool it down. Its hard to keep up with all this
And most of them are capitalized properly as well! Amazing!
Ohh ha ha…. Better?
Much.
I can capitalize correctly. I just choose not to. I also choose not to use a dictionary.
Though, sense y’all put it nicely, I’ll start using both. XD
Thank you.
Happy to be of service, though this “trying to spell everything right” is really tiresome. I don’t know how y’all do it.
Coffee.
…with a large dash of respect for both people and the language.
… out of habit.
Oh, ok. I see. Well, I barely passed English, I’m a math wizz, so please forgive me if I make typos and don’t catch them.
*squeeze* Yay! Another math person!
Mayhap we should team up? I’m good at the English thing (when I’m not playing around with it, that is …), but pretty crap at the maths things (yes, I said mathS, I’m an Aussie, kindly feel free to resist correcting me on that).
As a team, we’d be UNSTOPPABLE!!! Or we’d have a fair bit of momentum, at the very least
I wish I was a math whiz
I is an engineers. Engineers is goodest at math, but not so gooder at English.
Most engineers also fail at the people skills. At least the building-full I work with…
I suspect that Moowski is probably to engineers what I was to programmers, a pleasant exception.
Since Moomin isn’t here, I OBJECT on his behalf!
Apparently engineers also speak in lolcat-speak.
LEILAjam, there CAN be more than one exception
I am also an exeption, everyone loves me. I even get virtual cookies.
I did say most.
Yessir!
LOL – back when I was a programmer I got REAL cookies – user community discovered it was the fastest way to get programs modified
I do know the type, many engineers are introverts and socially awkward. I was always the guy organizing team functions and stuff. I kinda miss being a pointy-haired boss. It’s fun being part of an enthusiastic team. Now I’m back in the trenches, mostly working alone, and bored stiff. I thought I might like it, but this is the wrong company.
(sorry if I’m boring people by getting too personal… I’m getting introspective here)
I found it interesting.
*squeezes Mooski motivationally*
With the economy the way it is, it’s good you still have a job. Having said that, a job that makes for a slow day isn’t good for your soul.
That sums it up quite nicely.
*squeezes LEILAjam*
Although I agree with Ms B.
Practice. You’ll notice that we don’t get it right all the time, it’s the effort we look for.
I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize. I’ve let my spelling go a little, but when I’m at work, like now, my keyboard is packed with chalk dust and some of the keys stick together. I will try harder, though.
At work?!
Well, not so much work as the place I go to get away from home.
Before FB I didn’t care about my grammar and it was hard for me. Now I find myself correcting every little mistake.
And people often comment before you because you’re on a slow iPhone, making your comment ignored…
Me too. And ya know, people often comment before me because I’m on a slow iPhone.
…*sigh*
spell check copy paste w/ windows. Hey, I admit it, I can’t spell. and if I don’t have time to do that, i just go like this… (sp.?)
That much shows that you’re at least interested in getting it right
Use a dicitionary.
Since*
.
Trust me, they’re strict here. As someone put it (can’t remember who) “it’s how we separate the regulars from the trolls.”
Ahh, thanks for all the great advice!
You’ll find that people will choose not to read your comments.
I choose to agree.
Aww, I don’t want that to happen. I like to think my post makes a difference.
*hands Morvevissi a cookie*
Glad to see you’re on board!
Yay. I love cookies. *munch*
I never got cookies…
I still have a half of one.
*Hands Rian the last of the cookie*
Don’t fall for it. I see the tray of cookies behind his back!
*Runs away with Morvevissi’s cookie*
They’re mine all mine!
*smacks Rian and takes cookie away*
This is why we can’t have nice things.
*gives cookie back to Morve*
But…But….You forgot all of this fudge I was going to share… * Watchs Rian run off in the distance* Oh well… *munch*
*hides nice things*
*Falls from slap*
*Gives cookie tray to Morve*
Sorry DW.
Yay. Fundge and a cookie. Today is going great.
Crap, I ment Fudge*.
You should be very careful not to confuse crap with fudge.
Yeah, crap just doesn’t have the right consistency.
Mine does. O.O
shhhhhh *slips Rian a plate of cookies* shhhh
*taps foot and raises eyebrow*
Abstract? What do you think you’re doing?
I saw what you did there…
Welcome!
Thank you.
Smelcome to Failblog.
Oh crap, did I just type “smelcome”? Can we do this again?
I’m afraid we’re live, Moowski. You’ll have to carry on.
Only one “h” in “Oh”. Other than that, not bad.
Oh, ok. Thanks, I’ll try to remember.
By the way, I plan to become a regular contributor to failblog posts now, so let me introduce myself. I am called Morvevissi, but feel free to call me Morve.
Nice to meet you, Morve. I’m X-Phile, just call me X.
Names Rian, nice to meet you!
Nice to meet you all.
Nice to meet you Morve, I’m mr. cuddles. Most people call me MMC.
Gotcha. Nice to meet you too MMC.
And you too aikiwaza.
Hello! *waves*
Nice to meet you etc. etc. I joined not too long ago also. Oh, and I don’t have a name.
*squeeze* to the new Failer, Morve!
Sweet. I’m a failer now? That makes today so much better! *enjoys cookies, fudge, and fails* Anyone else want fudge?
*Takes more than half of the fudge*
Careful, that’s special fudge!
As long as it doesn’t have nuts in it. I’m allergic…
Special fudge?
*takes more*
It doesn’t have any nuts you would be allergic too…
Wait, I had 20 pounds of fudge, how exactly do you plan on eating all that?
Then that’s my kind of fudge Morve
…Wouldn’t you like to know?
Oh good. Take as much as you like.
welcome and welcome we have a great community here and people teach you new things every day. like how to get a proper avatar and codes for emoticons, etc. i love it here.
Howdy.
*waves a very belated welcome to Morve*
Hello!
Don’t worry, there will be Morve where he came from.
I really hate this new schedule. I’m always late to the party.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
I see you get to interact a little on the first fail of the day. That’s something. And, you can usually count on a few people being around at this time, and at least two of us are quite good company.
*waves cheekily to Crow*
Why, fancy meeting you here.
*waves to dragon*
*squeeze*
*changes “in” to “it” and adds “on” to reply below*
Wow, I’m really off tonight.
*switches Crow’s dial to “On”*
Better?
*schnuggles Admiral*
Didn’t see you there, darlin’!
Perhaps we shouldn’t schnuggle in front of Crow now that he’s been turned “on”.
Woops!
Sowwy, Crow!
*puts “schnuggle later” on the calendar*
*clears schedule*
*pours wine that Judy left*
*schnuggles*
Yes, I do manage to make in the morning fail. And you are very correct about the good company at night as well!!
There used to be more people around the blog at this time. It may pick up again.
Yeah, I remember there was always quite a few posters on at night in the past. With the new schedule I don’t get to work until 11pm EST, so insomniacs and graveyard workers not withstanding, I understand the lack of “population” on the blog.
Coyote and Marius used to be regulars at this time. We’re waiting for Coyote to return once he feels better. Marius is busy with life away from the blog, I guess.
I’ll reply down here as I know better than to get between a dragon and her admiral.
We have a drunk on his way to jail and fully engulfed house fire, so business just picked up.
I will bid you both a fond goodnight, fare thee well fair dragon and admirable admiral!
I miss Raelalt, too. I hope he’s off being blissfully happy with his fiance/new wife!
Eeeep!
Stay safe, Crow!
*squeeeze*
Yikes! Yes, be safe, Crow!
We’re commenting at a hundred posts per hour (pph). That’s a good rate, but not even close to the record.
I would have done the same thing
that sure is one sturdy wireless cable
I always start so late in the late fail… *sniff* I can’ts catch up! *sniff*
*squeeze* Get a hold of yourself man! Or let me do it! One or the other!
*squeeze*
Howdy Mr. Cuddles!
Hey there Malicite! How’s work going?
Meh, I’ve been getting bombarded, so it makes it difficult to fail with you guys lately… It’s good to have you back by the way!
Aww, thanks bud! It’s good to be back. I missed you guys while I was gone. I was going through FB withdrawl.
Strangely, I’ve been dreaming about you guys lately. I think I’m addicted.
Hmmm, I thought for a minute you said “abducted”.
Was I at least in the nude in your dreams?
You where in one of mine, though not becasue I’m addicted
We’re always nude. They are good dreams and are now on sale at a good price. $6.66.
*winks*
Wonderful *Goes and buys 100 copys*
I think we’re finding nude seems to be a theme with me
I knew there was something I liked about you, Ms B
Three cheers!
If anybody is old enough to remember “Bloom County” by Berkeley Breathed, Steve Dallas wrote an unforgettable love sonnet to a woman he admired. It was sweet, sensitive, and touching.
It’s so beautiful!!
“In my dreams, you’re all I sees
Boobs, butt, and knees
Be my main squeeze.”
I love Bloom County! I have 3 or 4 of the compilation books. Sucked to see it go (Outland just wasn’t the same), but you can read Classic Bloom County on yahoo news. I get my fix several times a week. I think one of the books I have has that poem it, I seem to remember reading it before.
Hi Lurk! How’s that headache doing?? Did the Advil do the trick?
*squeeze*
*cranks up “Billy and the Boingers” Bootleg*
YEAH!!
IS THAT TOO LOUD?
*curls into a little ball, holding head*
*whimpers*
Ack!
Pbthhh!
Swish!
I do like the avatar ZA!
My comments are missing…
I see where you meant for the airport security comment to go. Sometimes FailBlog likes to play tricks on us with our comments.
I see that. Ha ha.
All the sudden, posting stoped…
I think I stoped once…Cancun ‘99.
well where did all the posting go?
Pssstt…check the recent comments box.
*juggles ‘p’s*
*tosses one each up to Morvevissi and Bobbynoname*
*flys away still juggling ‘p’s*
…I don’t think you quite got the joke, too subtle?
Is that like going through airport security? If so, it must have sucked…
Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell, and I live in Aurora, Illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago (Excellent!).
I’m going to have to stalk you now… :-X *squeeze*
Is that like going through airport security? If so, that must have sucked.
Wait…What? This didn’t go in the correct spot…
Is that good, or bad?
Hmmm, go with good. I wouldn’t mind being stalked by the great MMC!
Smelcome back.
Cool. To make things even, my name is Jacob Davis, I live at Shaw Air Froce Base, South Carilina
Force*
*Carolina?
Spirulina?
Marolina?
(Now, I’m just making words up.)
Is that a special form of Weed?
♫Billie Jean is not my lover, she’s just a girl, who thought I was the one♫
I Did not mean to reply there…
Er….Am I the only one who is lost on this comment?
Michael Jackson, I believe.. but I don’t know where it’s supposed to be.
Er….Yea that too. Ha ha.
New thread! Quick, everyone comment!
Okay, Morve…let me warn you against the dreaded “Newbie-Fruitcake syndrome” here…
Relax that trigger-posting finger just a wee bit. You don’t have to post on every thread, or in response to every comment. If you don’t have anything to say…well, just don’t say anything. We like comments that are witty/funny/punny/banter-y/parts-of-existing-conversations. But not so much if they have no point or don’t move something along. Okay? Thanks!
Gotcha, no more stupid crap, I’m on it.
i’m liking him already, so eager to please
Morve, we admire your enthusiasm. And I know you’re learning the ropes, that’s fine. But please try not to spam the board too much. Posting is like drinking… best done in moderation!
*squeeze*
D’oh!!
Refresh! Refresh!
*headdesk*
I know all about that.
*winces*
Can you bang your head a little quieter, please?
Ok, for anyone who cares, I’m leaving…
Byeee, Bobby!
*waves*
Wait…Is Bobby actually Fruitcake now???
My head is actually still spinning since I got back, so I can’t really tell. I’m going by your judgment DW.
Bye Bobby, thanks for the advice!
She’s jokin’. Some of the new kids feel it is necessary to announce their departures.
Indeed, mr cuddles, I was joking. We’ve been getting a lot of “in case anyone cares” and “nobody ever notices me”-type narcissism on the blog recently. I admit, I find it onerous.
It’s been bothering me slightly as well. I always respond cheerily, though I know I should probably just ignore them.
I don’t have a problem with it, if it’s just “good morning” or “I’m outta here”. Mal does it, I do it, several others do it. I usually try to tag it on to a relevant message, but not always. It never occurred to me this might annoy people?
Noooo…it’s the attention-whoring “Just in case anyone cares” nonsense that’s annoying, and you don’t do that.
I’m sure no one will miss me, but I’m out for today. If anyone cares. Which nobody does, I’m sure. It’s sad to be me.
Anyway, even though you all won’t care, I wish you well. Bye! Bye-bye! BYYYYYE!!! I’M REALLY GOING NOW!
*waves*
*pretends to leave but stays on a little longer to see the replys*
*ie
I thought he’d never leave…
Now we can talk about him behind his back! Mwuaahahahaa…
Dragon, you know…Arthur’s a really nice guy, and he’s smart. He’s pretty good with an argument, too.
I know! And he’s REALLY funny! He makes me laugh and laugh…and his English is excellent!
He IS a little disturbing with the farm animals at times, but somehow he pulls it off.
You’re sweet and you both rock!
*extra-double-super-squeeze*
Now I’m really off. Was fun talking to you, as always!
Byeeeeeeee!
*squeeze*
*waves at Arthur*
B-Bye.
*doesn’t care that Arthur’s left, but blows him a kiss anyway*
Bye!
me either, i was just trying to throw a party for eveyone yesterday, at the end there. we had a good turn out too. lots of mimosas. hopes i didn’t bother anyone. *squeezes all around*
They have the same consistency.
Alright everyone, I’m out. I have to go, but ill be back tomorrow *squeeze everyone*
night
“The mic has to be attached to camera or recording devise. It’s not like he could just walk away with it.”
no…it’s wireless.
Ya think?
I’m really not sure. But it could be wireless. What do you think, Arthur?
Well, >IMIGHT< be
.
.
.
.
.
.
. WIRELESS!!!
Weird – FAILblog ate some of my letters! Must be a bracket/HTML thang…
I think it had a wire, and they photoshopped the wire out! Look at the pixels!
*groan*
*ponders*
I’d say it could be wireless… Unless it has a cable.
I would counter that by saying it definitely is not wireless, unless of course there is no cable.
I’d like to point out another possibility: It could be his microphone, wireless or not.
Excellent point Arthur!!! That’s gotta be it.
That would explain why they needed to bring in security before the interview.
If a microphone is left in the middle of a forest, and nobody is around to steal it, does it still record a sound?
*ponders*
Maybe if it’s wireless?
I think it is an invisable wire!
youtube is down? wtf
I don’t know what country you’re from, but the video is working for me.
i’m from germany, and downforeveryoneorjustme said it too…
ok, now it works
So you’re the pimp of that video?
So, what happens in today’s fail?
You can’t see it? Brief summary: Woman interviews man. Another man comes in, tries to steal the mic and run away. Falls and therefore fails.
I can’t see it either.. what does that have to do with iPhones and wireless? Those comments today have greatly confuzzled me.
Apparently the interview should of been about the new iPhone. And the wireless stuff came up because someone up there^ said that he couldn’t run away with the mic because it’s attached by cable.
You’re mean!
*haves at the possessed Arthur*
Et tu, Arthur??
*breaks down sobbing*
*offers DW comforting mug of hot dragon-grog*
(Actually I’ve never heard that could/would/should of stuff before I saw you complain about it. Is that a common mistake?)
It happens more often than you would think. I live in fear that I will do it one day.
That will be the day that you and I can have a snowball fight in Hell. *smooooch*
For me personally, I know it should be ‘have’ but when I speak it comes out as ‘of’. I’m guilty of the ‘cos’ thing too.
Sorry DW.
*looks at shoes*
I blame the contraction! Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve.
I blame Cutting Crew.
I blame Arthur.
lolz at Aurthur
I blame BondFan.
This is a fun game!
sorry, give me back that ‘u’
abstract, I thought you were mocking the trolls who were unable to spell my name…
was that me Arthur, I don’t know. mand am I ever giddy, I need to get out of work soon!!! 40 min.
sorry, stuck this in the wrong nest “lolz at BondFan, I blame…… BondFan LOLZ!!! roflmao!! aaaahahahahhaaaahahaa wow, that feels good!”
lolz at BondFan, I blame…… BondFan LOLZ!!! roflmao!! aaaahahahahhaaaahahaa wow, that feels good!
It’s okay, jam. Just so long as you don’t WRITE it that way, all can be forgiven!
Gah! This is oppression! Trying to slam down on our uncouth Northern ways!
You asked for this. . . . . . .
*squeeze*
Maybe that’ll learn ya!
it is and it is sad
my boyfriend is a writer, and he does it. I’m his editor, and i say arrrg 
every time
Here, have my handkerchief with a crossword puzzle imprinted on it.
Thanks! I couldn’t of understood without you!
Blegh, that left a bad taste in my mouth.
*cowers in nuclear bunker*
No nuclear bunker is going to save you from grammar.!
*rocks to and fro in corner, murmuring “grammar is my friend, grammar is my friend”*
What about Brother Nuclear Option? (clickie)
Guys; it’s supposed to be should have and couldn’t have! You guys made a mistake!
*wide-eyed innocent look*
Ack you should of told me sooner!
Wow – I’m sure glad I decided to be more easy-going about this, or my head would have burst.
Wait…the mic was wireless???
That’s a matter of opinion.
That’s your .02 ¢.
Correction: My $0.02 ¢.
Correction: Your $0.002 ¢.
You’re right.
Hey, wait…you’re still here!
Erm… no. No, I’m not, it’s errrr… What’s that? *points*
*runs*
Do you acknowledge that dollars are different from cents?
Gigeoxy, this is totally off subject, but I’ve intended to talk to you all day. As strange as this is going to sound, I had a dream about you last night. In my dream, you told us that you were withdrawing from heroin and needed some really bad. Everyone on FB was concerned (except for that noname guy, not bobby, but the other one). Anyway, are you ok?
You know FB has taken over your life when you start dreaming of failers!
*whistles and shuffles feet*
Sssssht! I’m really curious for the answer.
♪ I dream of Jammie with the light brown hair… ♫
♪ I’ll have a cup of tea and tell you of my dreaming ♪
Actually, I won’t cos that would be very embarrassing!:oops:
You too can fight this terrible addiction.
♪ They tried to make me go to rehab but I said, no, no, no!”
*halts jeep*
*squeezes jam*
*zooms off into the night*
*waves into BFF’s dust*
*vomits vile black stuff profusely for a very long time*
.
Sorry, that happens whenever I’m reminded of drug addicted talentless prostitutes with record contracts.
Starfish, thank you for your concern, (*squeeze*) but I am most definitely not withdrawing on heroin! Maybe caffeine, but it is too late in the day to have any of that or I won’t be able to sleep.
So… you still do heroin?
No, I think the heroin is a figment of Starfish’s imagination!
GAH! Two omments awaiting moderation! Now it will look like I’m spamming.
… I give up.
I knew you were ok. *squeeze* I have no idea why I had that dream. I think you were in it because your somewhat new and I really like your avatar. The heroin part, I don’t know, I watch alot of TV dramas.
Did I look like my avatar?
We were on Failblog. You were asking everyone on failblog if they knew someone who could get you heroin. You were even willing to travel for it. Crazy huh?
interesting theory…
*had no idea the internets could do that*
*learns something new*
I was just saying earlier that I’ve recently been dreaming of my failing friends. I think it’s part of my addiction.
Thats ok, i have failing friends too.
I think there’s a 12-step program for you. You’ve already admitted it, so you’re making good progress!
We’re dreeeeeeeeeeeamy!
Its okay, I dream of you all the time.
Maybe the iphone is wireless? Possible?
Liberal Fail!
NERP IT SOON PLEASE!!!!!! DUDE!!!!!!
sex.
FAIL!
WTF???
Troll.
♪♪ Give me one kiss and I’ll be happy,
Just, just to be with you – ooo,
Give me, give me,
a chance to be near you,
because, because I love you.
Because, because I love you! ♪♪
Ach! I will not be beaten!
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
Im a womans man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, Ive been kicked around
Since I was born.
And now its all right. its ok.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
The new york times effect on man.
Whether youre a brother or whether youre a mother,
Youre stayin alive, stayin alive.
Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin,
And were stayin alive, stayin alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin alive, stayin alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin alive.
Dollyll never go away again
*holds microphone to mouth*
And the battle of the earworms comme…
HEY!!! COME BACK HERE WITH THAT!
*sigh*
For once she didn’t say “smelcome”…
*watches as Zorb flattens jam*
EEK!!!
I knew I should have phoned for help with it!
GAH!
*is proud of the ‘have’*
*SQUEEEEEEZE!!!*
*squeeze and waves G’night also*
*jammy squeeze*
She’s got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I’d stare too long
I’d probably break down and cry
Sweet child o’ mine
Sweet love of mine
Awimbawe, awimbawe, awimbawe, awimbawe…
In the Jungle,
the mighty jungle,
the lions sleeps tonight.
In the jungle,
the quiet jungle,
the lions sleeps tonight.
Near the village,
the peaceful village,
the lions sleeps tonight.
Near the village,
the quiet village,
the lions sleeps tonight.
Hush my darling,
don’t fear my darling,
the lions sleeps tonight.
It’s been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing …
I said nothing can take away these blues,
‘Cause nothing compares …
Nothing compares to you
We were born to be…. ALIVE
We were born to be…. ALIVE,
cause she was born, born, booorn, *Low voice* BORN TO BEEE ALIVE.
Kum baya my Lord, kum baya. etc.
What a BUTTHEAD!!! Dude… You’re on CAMERA! You really think nobody’s gonna see you?
it’s a world of laughter, a world or tears
its a world of hopes, its a world of fear
theres so much that we share
that its time we’re aware
its a small world after all
its a small world after all
its a small world after all
its a small world after all
its a small, small world
There is just one moon and one golden sun
And a smile means friendship to everyone.
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It’s a small small world
Wow…I’m…stunned. Well done. That was truely an annoying earworm.
Were no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitments what I’m thinking of
You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand
* never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
*vomits vile black stuff AGAIN*
.
Damn.
Rick Roll’d on failblog??? What is this world coming to?
♪♪Suffer, and then you die
Torture, pulverized
At one with my sixth sense, I feel free
To kill as I please, no one can stop me
Created to kill, the carnage continues
Violently reshaping human facial tissue
Brutality becomes my appetite
Violence is now a way of life
The sledge my tool to torture
As it pounds down on your forehead ♪♪
Omg! Cannibal Corpse ftw! \m/
Great, we now have singstar on Failblog.
Testing.
More Testing.
:l
Hmmm…, last one didn’t work.
What about :squint: or :angry:
Nope, that didn’t work either. O.o
Try
: mad :
Thankyou.
Looks like i need a space between each one.
What about these ones…
And
?
Find a zombie smiley and I’ll be impressed, like the clickie I keep forgetting to erase before posting.
I am back.
avatar appear!
Have u cleared your cache?
damn avatar is not working?
Sometimes you have to wait for it. Be Patient it will turn up.
ok thanks
test
testing avatar?
I need help with my avatar? step by step please.?
Go to Gravatar.com if you haven’t already. I can’t remember the exact steps you need to go through, but i think it was reasonably straight forward.
Oh, and make sure your email address is the same one you used to sign up.
I actually have no idea what this video is about because the firewall at work is blocking it.
Can somebody help me out here?
I would if youtube wasn’t failing hard right now.
Guy on the right holding some equipment body checks the thief.
First announcer : Nice shoulder check by the older gentleman on the play.
Second announcer : That’s right Todd, Mr Henderson has been around thugs all his life and as he just proved he doesn’t take any crap from anyone.
First announcer : Even with his hands full.
Second announcer : What does that have to do with anything?
that guy was staring at her tits
Ha, ouch.
Fox News, always worth a few laughs.
Believe it or not I’m actually friends with the guy in this video. And this was a definitely a win. He always had the intention to grab the mic. Interestingly enough this created a situation of mutually assured destruction because after being worked over off camera, he wanted to sue Fox News for bodily injury and they wanted to press charges.
I am back
Have you tried to get an avatar yet?i think he was going for the iphone but FAILED while doing it
Oh, Dragon I had a question to what you presented yesterday.
…Can something be contrivedly unintentional?
Dragon, do you separate the mind on this one, or are all parts considered as one. (Finally a domain where I can hold my own).?
She ignored it yesterday. Why repeat it?
I just thought she didn’t see since I posted wayyy, later that’s all.
*moves comma from wayyy to see*
*also adds one after since*
*sighs*
Emp, that was a silly little game, not to be taken seriously. It allowed for some lighthearted banter between friends, and a chance to stretch our imaginations and intellect. Such things, alas, cannot be recreated on demand.
*removes completely superfluous comma from after the word ’since’*
Dammit. I used the “I” word again. Posting a second time….:
*sighs*
Emp, that was a silly little game, not to be taken seriously. It allowed for some lighthearted banter between friends, and a chance to stretch our i m a g i n a t i o n s and intellect. Such things, alas, cannot be recreated on demand.
*removes completely superfluous comma from after the word ’since’*
Okay, sorry. I actually wanted to debate it, its a nice philosophical topic.
We need to find you a replacement word or a code word that everyone can recognize what you are trying to say. Maybe use gine? or ‘gine? That way you will bypass much moderation.
810th
hi
OK then,….
I wished they would have let the video run to see the ass beating that dude might have gotten.
New here?
I agree ith everyone is…opinions. I’m upset that we never resolved whether or not the mic was wireless.
.
…And, why-o-why so the people who complain that we don’t talk enough about the pic/vid have anything constructive to say about the pic/vid themselves? Is it all just a cruel meme? Am I missing the irony?
*agree with
Well obviously you don’t…
..have anything better to do than to ask rhetorical and bigoted questions of yourself.
(Just finishing your sentence, Crow…! )
Aww thanks DW, I needed that *snork*!
i think that the wireless device probably has no wires but does have circuits, but then wouldn’t those be kind of like wires? just being flat and all, so then it would have wires… quite the dilemma i suppose.. any comments as to solve this riddle?
Actually, you’re kind of correct there (in a not-correct way). The microphone would have wires connecting the circuitry to the mic itself (as in, the receiving part), and they usually do have a small bit of wire dangling out the bottom (but not always), so it’s not really wireless. A better name might be “not attached to anything-ness”.
But in the sense of what’s being discussed here, it’s probably a wireless microphone.
Incidentally, that’s not a riddle; that’s just a run-of-the-mill question. A riddle is usually a question asked in a more or less cryptic way, often using metaphors.
what a dumbass although im kinda curios as to what this was actually supposed to be about
Apple’s new iPepper microphone.
It’s a long story and it involves a family feud. Over a donkey.
Are you saying you can’t tell a wild boar from a clan chief?
-stares-
Well that was rude
Seriously though its cute you guys have your own community here but I’m horribly dissapointed every time I decide to dredge through the comments for extra info or research on the fail itself only to find your run of the mill family chat-room clique.
Well that was rude
OK, so I plagiarized that…
How’s your aunt, MRN? Is the whole family doing well?
She’s still running the mill, thank you for asking.
The only difference between this circlejerk and the ICHC one is that most of the spelling is correct.
Why are you shouting like that? Do you perchance have a d*ck up both ears?
Certainly not in his mouth.
what a dick.
Does anyone else miss the old Failblog.org video intro? I do.
I knew there was some reason the vids seemed less annoying these days…
Actually, I do as well. Haven’t said anything, because I know I’m in the minority, but I did enjoy it. It was only the instant replay ‘win’ that annoyed me …
It would have been funny if he ran away with the mic, but gave a play-by-play as he did.
“I’ve stolen your microphone and now I’m running away. If you want it back, look on Ebay in about 6 hours. I’ll be offereing a decent “Buy it now” price. What’s that wire? I should be care—- ooaaa. Ooooph! Dammit.”
Hey does anybody know if the mic was wireless? (sorry)
Wow…….. he completely got his ass kicked.
He accidentally the whole microphone. What should he do?
Well, he definitely shouldnt try to use an verb, thats for sure XD
At first, I thought “what an asshole!”…then I realized it was Fox News…then I just didn’t care.
Next he’ll steal the blinking lights from a police car’s rooftop.
Fox News = Fail
yes!! that guy in the beige jacket shoulder barged that guy to the floor
yes old man!
Fox News = EPIC FAIL!
FOX NEWS’D!
LAWL I wanna bee leik this gai wen i grown up
I do enjoy reading the pointless comments but sometimes I am looking for some clarification.
I’m guessing he was aiming for the phone and failed, getting the mic instead?
I don’t read the first 80% of the comments and go straight to the last ones. Everything at the beginning is idiotic drivel.
I think what this guy did is great, there should be a group dedicated to stealing microphones from reporters while they’re reporting. I don’t think the microphone is attached to anything, it looks like a cordless microphone. I would have ran away as fast as I could with it so that they woudn’t be able to finish their interview and I would have something to sell on eBay.
I think the guy was merely trying to grab a tit, and failed.
what is the name of that phone???????
he was a nut sack!
who steals a microphone? i would steal a wallet not a microphone plus it must have been easy to catch him ! i would kick him in the face!
one of the 4 iphones in the country is right in front of him, and that pillock steals a microphone then tries to walk off
this is good man….he stole from fox news!