Submitted by Mark W
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Cheezburger Company Blog
That looks fun.
Hands down
FIRST!!
LV
DIE!
TYFPMP
Are we sure this is a fail? What if the sign works?
Bad photoshops never work.
definitely shopped.
Failshopped for sure. (the red line even goes out of the white circle) (Also, it is too white to be credible, shops do not get cleaned that often)
noticed,i dont think they even know whats “cleaned” means
And just before Bob robbed the store, he saw the sign, cursed himself, and went home.
Definitely Intelligent, Edward!
ea-e or u?
E=MC²
This is wrong if you are based on Euclid’s Geometry.
nobody really cares about you.
I wonder if you looked at the pic before commenting?
FIRST!
Nope. Anyways, you wouldn’t think that you need a sign about that…
Any troll eaters here today?
I’m afraid they’re bad for their stomach. Too much gas etc…
No YMCA dance?
No forced YMCA dance.
It could be no making robot do YMCA dance buy remote control… What say you now?!
I’d say… What?
To that I say… Huh?
And I say… Heeeeeeeey-yay-yay-ye-eeeh, heeeeey-yay-yay, I say hey, what’s goin’ on?
I could have lived the rest of my life without being reminded of that song. Now I’m going to have to leave work sick just so I don’t annoy my co-workers.
Good morning everyone!
Good morning FSA, but in future could you start a new thread when offering salutations as it gets confusing when you pop into the middle of an existing thread?
K.
Much appreciated!
And I try, oh my God do I try
I try all the time
In this institution
That Sign means:
u will get shot if u starting the YMCA Dance….i think
only when behind a cash register
It’s “no Y in YMCA dance”. So only MCA allowed when behind a cash register.
But it’s not fun to stay at the MCA!
Why?
No “why” allowed. Fluffy said so.
Ok then, how come?
By stroking your wiener fast enough, that’s how.
Hello MMC, how was Ireland?
Ireland was amazing, until I got strep throat. I took almost 700 pictures. I just have to finish going through them tonight and post them up somewhere so I can put the clickie on here for everyone.
Are you feeling better today?
Hi judy!
*Squeeze*
I am feeling much better today, just a headache. *squeeze* Thanks for asking!
700? There were that many rugby players??
*squeezes*
*squeeze* actually, I had to make a few sit on the side lines because they were getting to be too much to handle. I’m only one person!
Oh you poor poor Mr. M. Cuddles… My heart bleeds for you.
Awww, I was about to… But since they don’t allow it, I won’t.
Go on! Do it!
you’ll get a good talking too, ummmmmm!
“Tickling our shovel-handed salesman with a little black thing is strictly prohibited!”
“Only use glowing ET finger”.
*tickletickletickletickletickle*
That’ll cure the hiccup.
Hiccrightup?
Hick’em up! This is a Hickup!
Arthur, did I just hear you hiccup??
*gets into position*
*grabs Brewski and stuffs him in a comfy crate*
Whew! Now he’s safe from those troublesome newbies and their dragon grog!
Mmmmmffff!!
*bang bang bang*
Sorry Brewski, but it’s for you own protection.
*Attaches whiskey bottle like on a hamster cage and inserts a dish filled with nibbles*
*Guards crate*
*bows*
(tee, hee, hee!)
*sneaks up behind Arthur*
GOOD MORNING, ARTHUR!!!
*stands with back against wall*
*bows to Arthur*
Good morning/afternoon all! How’s it going?
*disappointed*
I *hic* was hoping you could *hic* help me… *hic*
*waves to Judy*
*tickletickletickletickletickle!!!!*
Did that cure you.?!
*eyes Arthur suspiciously*
You enjoy it? Hmm. Now you spoiled all my fun!
nothing says u cant be behind a register and sing cant touch this and get shot
*sneaks up where judy cant see*
(bang bang bang)
hmmm….
But there’s nothing saying you can’t use a knife to rob the place while smoking and not wearing a shirt or shoes.
And why the hat? Why not a kicky beret?
Give the guy a break. He doesn’t even have feet.
in that case, he might have had one too many.
FAIL? its a creativity WIN!
Becaus he has got penis-hands
How could you rob someone with cones for hands. That’s just mean.
look more like small gourds to me!
Looks like breast to me… Titty Hands!
Yeah, ’cause robbers are concerned about being nice.
“Pardon me, I was wondering if I could have all the cash in this establishment, if it’s not too much trouble.”
Is that guy robbing the place or just helping the clerk apply deodorant?
ahhhh roll on!
maybe he is helping to shave him?…. is it a beauty salon?
Not anymore, it’s not allowed now.
*facepalm*
ex beauty salon
I suppose you’re going to the wrong beauty salons if you – the customer – have to help their employees getting shaved. But then again, I’ve never been to a beauty salon and therefore may be wrong.
now I know where I have been going wrong all those years…..dammit
Yes. Sentences begin with a capital, unless it’s for effect!
.
*goes for man’icure.
Wait, why do you think that he’s an employee? Because he’s standing next to a lunchbox?
So you think the sign means “do not come in here and apply deodorant and/or shave each others armpits if you’re standing behind a lunchbox”? I can see the point in that. I wish more places put up that sign.
*applies deodorant under fluffy’s fins*
*runs away*
Optimism Win?
Optimism like a Fox!
Do not ruin Mexican Waves?
*waves at G&P*
Do not wawe Mexican ruins?
*corrects “wave”*
wave your rights to ruin mexicans?…..
Ruin your rights to wave Mexicans?
*waves at mexican rights *
*runs away with lawnmower*
*Mexican waves back*
Sorry, works making me work for a change!
When robbing, no wearing Marcel Marceau attire.
Ceci n’est pas une robbery?
Clicky.
what I was thinking- but so not saying!
What were you saying without thinking LOL.
clicky AE & find out!
OMG a brainworm from the 80′s! What’s scary is that I didn’t hear this song in 20 years and still knew all the lyrics…
My very first record was “Sure Know Something” by KISS. I didn’t yet learn any English when I got it, so of course I didn’t understand anything. When I heard that song again (maybe 15 years later) I could still sing it along and understood the lyrics that I previously just memorized phonetically for the first time. Odd.
It’s a good thing your first song wasn’t something like “Big Dumb Sex” by Soundgarden. I could see you walking down the street innocently singing… The lyrics are mostly “I’m gonna F*CK, F*CK, F*CK YOU!!“.
I was once listening to a radio station, and somebody requested it. The DJ said a note indicated it was not for airplay, but that we’re all big boys and girls, so he put it on. After several F-bomb verses, he finally killed it. And apologized.
I find this censoring strange. We don’t really have that.
I wish we did not have that. I try to watch anything Gordon Ramsay, but it’s just BLEEP BLEEP BEEP every 2 seconds. It really takes away from any possible smooth flow.
Arthur, the US was originally settled by Puritans, and I think the culture has forever remained relatively conservative and Christian. There’s a portion of the population that gets very upset by foul language and nudity. It usually is along the lines of: “We must protect the children!!”
They set off from Plymouth and landed in Plymouth! What are the chances of that?!?
So, are you an Eddie Izzard fan, or was that just conveniently similar?
My GOD my school computers are a pain…
Hi all, I’m fairly new to failblog. Please treat me gentlyfor a while.
me too!
am hiding alot- good luck bye bye- off to go vote
Welcome my child deejinator. I will treat you with ever so gentle hands,
like the hands on the cashier in the fail above. LOL
maybe not that gently. It looks like a site where the peeps have some fun.
Ok not so gentle? drop and give me 5 push-ups now maggot!. And your wallet.?
Can I make him do 10 more?
5 eagles: Just FYI; ‘?’ and ‘!’ take the place off a full-stop or period at the end of a sentence in English.
5 eagles & AlDeezy: Don’t make me go all boot camp on your prosteriors!
deejinator: Hello! Any questions just ask!
We are the nicest people on failblog =P
Also new! *waves shyly*
Hello!
*waves enthusiastically back*
Aww how nice
I’ve been here for a little bit, but I’m technically still new. (What is it-3 weeks? A month?)
Welcome all new people! As long as you follow The Rules you will not have any problems. The Rules are:
1. Do not give Brewski Dragon Grog (don’t ask, just accept it.)
2. No yelling the “F” word at the top of the comments; you know who you are.
3. Be courteous and polite while being funny.
4. Do not giove Brewski Dragon Grog.
5. Lower the seat when you’re finished, we do have ladies here.
If Judy is around, say “should of” instead of “should have”.
That’s about it. Have fun!
Oh, and don’t give Brewski any Dragon Grog!
I’m thinking dragon grog should just be avoided altogether to be honest.
I’ll agree with that.
*opens up crate Brewski is hiding in, inserts funnel into his mouth, and pours in Dragon Grog.*
Aha! That was a decoy crate!
Hmmm, how do i get brewski to come out… Anyone know a recipe for a good martini?
Sure thing
Why the “should of”?
It just irritates her.
It should actually be: “ should of ” with no spaces. It’s because it causes her slight discomfort.
Oh come on, you guys are so cruel!
I think it kills Dragonwriter even more than Judy.
@Afraid: They are sticklers for proper grammar. Actually a few of us are, but we seem to have gotten less vocal lately.
Hard to be vocal when you’re typing.
You’re just a little bit evil, aren’t you, X?
*gets quite vocal while typing*
*wonders if that’s why people think he’s crazy*
OK, I have read and understand all the rules.
*quietly sneaking Dragon Grog to Brewski*
Sorry! I just wanted to see what happens.!?
*sigh* I hate to be annoying, but could anybody tell me why my avatar is misbehaving?
Try clearing your cache.
Hmmm if it doesn’t work now i’ll just leave it
It changed to a pale blue avatar, is that what you were going for?
Not at all…
You’re too lenient with it. Try timeouts first, then spanking.
Now why didn’t i think of that?
“Spanking the avatar” should be a new euphemism.
Sorry Chia, no takey. I’m smart enough to smell Dragon Grog a mile away now, and it still turns my stomach. Once, never again. All I remember is I woke up the next day, covered in duct tape, lipstick, and graffiti.
Yeah, sorry about the lipstick. It was Jam’s idea, and I just happened to have a tube.
You weren’t supposed to tell him X… jeez!
yay for grammar sticklers!
And yay for the avatar!
*squeeze*
And “smelcome” to all the new folks.
You forgot “Profit” and “Safety”
Profit/Safety=Underpants.
Wow you guys (regulars)never follow rule 3.
Me three. I’m about as green as they come!
herro
*waves to aotd *
Welcome!
oooooo a newbie.
newbies kick ass.
There has been a pleasant amount of ‘newbies’ joining us recently and an even more pleasant amount of ‘n00bs’. (Quite a few of the former, almost none of the latter).
How nice.
As long as there are no “FURST LOLLLLLLOLOL” n00bs, I’m ok.
I really hope I’m count as a newbie and not as a “n00b”.
*takes ‘m away and feels ashamed*
Well, you ARE smart enough to figure out how to get an avatar ; ;.
Care to fill me in how?
Gravatar.com is a very useful site.
Ty, now I can show of my megaman mod avatar
testing
… Testing AGAIN
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
mabye this will work?
Damnit
There it is.
WOO!
Sorry about the image quality, accidently save it as a .jpeg on MS paint.
Wow, I’m looking forward to it curiously.
The fact that you even ask indicates at least a smidgen of respect and empathy, therefore you are a newbie.
Welcome.
Is that a chocolate bar in the left (wo)man’s hand? Are you not allowed purchase chocolate when the cashier’s hands are in the air?
It looks more like a rectangle…
Indeed; a rectangular chocolate bar.
Bon tardi mi dushi! con ta bai? et ta bon?
Good..late..my..shower….what..you….say….and..you….good???
Woopsidaysies! I don’t even speak that language!
I meant: Good day how are you? fine?
babelfish fail?
babelfish only helps you understand, not speak other languages!
Babelfish doesn’t even have papiamento in their translator..
Stupid babelfish! It really doesn’t have papa… plapla… palpatineimiento.
No, I do speak it.. A little bit.
No hablo espanol muy bien, pero… uhhh
Crap…. I need to go fetch my lists…
To be fair; I was just guessing, if it’s French, then I think I was close, if not I was probably way off.
You where way off. it’s Papiamento, the dutch Caribbean language
I heard they found ancient scrolls of Papiamento language in the middle of little green olives.
No, a candybar is a 3rd dimmensional being.
A rectange is a 2nd dimmensiolal being.
But a 3D object can be represented in 2D. Just look at your monitor for example.
I-…
It’s…
…
Damn. You win this round.
Maybe it’s a Toblerone and it just looks rectangular due to the forced 2D perspective.
I’m going to stick with my 2nd dimmension theory.
No their hands must be on the till first in order to purchase anything,
union rules.
Well to HELL with the union!
They were useful way back when, but now they’re just stupid!
It is a chocolate bar, but I’m happy to see you, too.
notice that the red bar is going on an angle and the circle i s not covered in red ?. this means give personal space when holding up the cashier.!?
That probably means you have to shoot the cashier from long-range.
I can’t believe how much your punctuation bothers me.
I LOLed. It’s very annoying, isn’t it.
I mean – Isn’t it.?!
I can’t even concentrate on what he says, I just see the .?! But I don’t think I’m missing much.
Read my reply for the REAL comment.
I have a PHD in “fixing gammar errors”.
!Lay off. him He may? not know What The: proper puntuation; should be?/>!
His thoughts seem to follow the fake rule:
“You, got. to-mix? it’ up! a bit., since/grammar, does”that.?!
…Yeah…. *buys grammar checker for 5 eagles*
Maybe he’s used to typing HTML.
Possible. But he might also do that just for fun.
Or they punctuate differently in his country.
what language is it then? Broken Leet?
You know ,you don’t have to be mean to me all of the time.!Arthur Eld
Notice that the red bar is going on an angle and the circle is not covered in red? This means“give personal space when holding up the cashier!”
This sign just doesn’t holdup to closer scrutiny.
This sign is near the cash register at our local pharmacy. I thought someone there made it up!
so you robbed them?
That’s one of the reasons he is nicknamed “zippy”.
.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
cat burglars tisk tisk
At least they’re not ham burglars.
I know, that would just be confusing. The lust vs the feeling of being robbed, could give one pecker shaped hands
he’s saying “i’d like you to consider scientology” with a gun…
Tom Cruise?
I dunno what’s funnier: a sign that asks you to please not rob the establishment, or that the clerk has penis arms. 0_o
Ronaldo!!!
It’s a shocking sign of the times when there is a footwear rule in place even if all you want to do is rob the establishment. People without feet can’t rob people at gunpoint? Getting away is difficult enough without that kind of discrimination.
I’m telling ya… I remember when robbers without feet were treated kindly and with respect… But nowadays.. *sigh*
What? But he clearly has feet in the sign; he’s just from the 70s and therefore wearing flares!
Give me all your shopping carts!
Don’t shoot!
*gives carts with wobbly wheels*
*avoids boobies, traps and pirates*
*squeezes a.k.a*
*Squeezes GV and Patricia*
Gonna be a slow day today.
Work is actually making me work!:(
Don’t look now but there’s a rodent holding us up
for shopping carts! *Points*
B-But..I don’t own any shopping carts for personal reasons!
Oh you beast! 
*hides eyes in claws*
RAWR…I mean *squeak*
*has clerk fill carts with bags of sunflower seeds and makes a getaway*
ur not supposed to wear a vest and react..that’s it!!
Morning! It’s almost lunchtime.
Morning! For me it’s about 9:45 am.
For me it’s 3pm
GMT?
Yep indeed
4pm here.
CET?
*applauds*
Yes, it is.
I have a “FAIL” foxclock to tell me what time it is in Fail-land.
If I could go back in time, I’d have another coffee… *is wistful*
the witching hour
*the only statement mentioning time that zombie DOES understand!*
spy vs Y
Maybe that’s why so many places get held up, they don’t have a sign like that to tell the robbers not to hold them up. LOL
Judge: “Sir, why did you hold up that liquor store?”
Robber: “It didn’t have a sign telling me not to?”
Judge: “Is that true?”
Clerk: “Someone stole it last week.”
Judge: “Sir, you’re free to go.”
In the USA I wouldn’t be surprised…
*greets everyone with a heartly [insert most humble oral greeting(not pleasure)]*
Does the guy, who made this sign, make ROFLs as well – I ask because a friend of mine…
*stares long and hard at your name*
*breaks face trying to pronounce the extra ‘e’*
*picks up decayed jaw bone lying on ground*
Oh, great. How are we going to get this back on?
Sheesh!
You must be in serious need of a friend!
*squeeze*
You’re so sweet Ms B *SQUEEZE!* and a *SERIOUS SQUEEZE* for you, Baron.
*squeeze* back at ya fluffy!
How are you today, my god-damn-virtual-friend?
Doing better now that we have such wonderful entertainment. Do you think we can keep him?
And how are you this fine Fail?
I’m enjoying him. He’s little tantrum is adorable. I think we can try and keep him, but I’m not sure he’ll stay.
You’re pretty much failing.
Which is appropriate.
Strike a pose, am going to submit you.
You call others retards and yet you can’t even use a simple blog correctly? Plus, most of the people who complain about not getting to say anything funny because others have posted before them have nothing interesting to add anyway.
Ah. You failed to understand what I was doing.
That could explain a lot.
^He meant he was going to submit your posts as a fail.
Even Baron Harkonnen and Baron Von Blubba were better mannered than you. You should be demoted.
DW wouldn’t waste her FOOOM!!. GV was it you? hehe
1)Funny isn’t a noun.
2)It should be “you’re failing at understanding my intentions” or be followed by something.
3)Do you actually have a fully functional brain? I mean that seriously.
Uh, no GV. It does not. I should know, I can “smell” brains a mile away. You’re smells really really good …
.
*salivates*
Ohh, he’s pissed. That’s cute.
Dammit, I was going to rob that place. Now I’ve gotta find another convenience store.
*walks away muttering about stupid signs*
I’m a banker?
Bull shit
I assure you my good man I am no more a female reproductive organ than you are a furry purple gopher. I don’t see how my sexual conquests have any bearing on this discussion. Why are you so angry?
Somebody needs to go to his “happy place”…with a huge bottle of BaconLube…
If you show this attitude towards your dog, I’m not surprised it’s no longer interested.
*falls down laughing*
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Genius!
Me thinks your name should be Baron VonJerkoff…
*offers BaconLube*
Adorable! He learned how to use the reply button!
He couldn’t keep away either!
Yeah well, you’re a Q-bag! So Nerrrrrrrrr.
If just half that is true I feel very sorry for you. However; judging by your previous post I’d have to deduce that this is what you would consider humour.
Being bored makes you angry? And I’m not a donkey. I’d have to agree with you about the lameness thing though, if you keep it up, we’ll all grow fat from it. How did we make you sad? You are doing a very poor job of making me sad anyway, but maybe that’s because I don’t really care what abusive people on the internet say to me!
Maybe he’s trying to get the only rise he can.
Also, being Baron must have affected him badly.
I love you.
I know, right! He’s making me happy today.
One for the baron …ya, kick some a** and taken names.
You’re cute.
Awwww…. adorable!
That’s because I’m getting a perverse pleasure out of talking to you.
)
It’s true as far as I’m concerned, believe it or not, I don’t care. (you’re
You’re not in the slightest bit sorry! Don’t lie.
I dunno about any of the rest of it, personally I don’t believe God can help you, but each to his own, eh?
I don’t claim to know it all and I will not kill myself.
ONCE AGAIN, FAILBLOG FAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant seem to find the posts of this baron person…
They have been taken to the Fortress of Solitude to keep Superman company during his retreats there.
TBH I thought that the fail was the fact that the cashier has penises for hands…
Who convinced you otherwise? Maybe you are correct.
Here you go, with this new deoderant and, these bandages we really will be able to help you with the compulsive post arm-pit squeeze finger smelling habit.
Mary Catherine Gallagher- on the next Dr. Phil.
So all stores without this sign…!
“Oh darn Bob, the Sign says No Robbing Allowed *sigh* okay lets go………..”
hmmmmmm not good
its edward penishands!
Yes! I thought the same thing.
More like trashcan fail! It looks like something from fisher price.
Oh bugger. Well let’s try the other one across the street then…
It’s so stupid that it might work.
… I don’t get it
Less Than Jake (band) sticker
this is an epic win
why is that sign up there in the first place?