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Cheezburger Network Blog
…and eaten.
Only if you pay double.
I pay triple, what do I get now?
You get his eyes back.
And what about quadruple?
A video tape showing his eyes being removed, and him being eaten, after being towed away.
*turns green*
Before I dash off to the toilet to empty my stomach, what if I pay septuple?
You get me sitting there wondering why the hell you had a kid if you were just going to pay someone to dismember and torture them.
Because children are tender and don’t need to be marinaded.
Wow. I never thought of it like that before.
But still, children (mainly babies) are good with A1 steaksauce.
They have this sign on my church’s rectory door. u r troll
OMQ I JUST SAID THAT THIS MORNING! *EXACTLY* THE SAME THING. O_o Could you be a clone, perhaps?
*goes into corner and starts thinking about alternate universes and parallel personalities*
How much do get them out of impound?
*to
Only if they are gifted
$2.99 a pound at the market around the corner. Apparently they aren’t as valuable as parts of a dead cow.
Wait!
I knew that salesman was ripping me off!
*saunters back to the store*
I like the one that said in a Feed Store:
Unatended Children will be given an Expresso and a New Puppy.
There’s also this sign, mentioned in a previous fail by Velvet. (click)
Haha.. that’s just mean! I’m sure it’s effective.
My sister works at Starbucks and somehow managed to come by a button that has the exact same thing on there except replace “puppy” with “Kitten.”
One of my co-workers has that sign (espresso+kitten) hanging on his cubicle wall….
Who would post something like this, it makes me think that both the posters and the moderators saw this and though, “haha, epic fail, they should have said car, upvote!” This is clearly an attempt at humor too subtle for the cheeseburger network.
I’d like to politely correct you there. Failblog is proud NOT to be part of the ICHC group. We are free from inane comments that don’t make any sense grammatically, or would make English teachers foam at the mouth.
Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!
I’m not sure I would completely agree with that statement, but at the least I think it’s fair to say that anyone who says “goggiez” would be ROFLed out of the room.
Umm…Failblog is part of ICHZ. It’s right there next to the FB logo on the upper left corner. And I agree with killjoy; this is not appropriate for this site. It is obviously an attempt at humor, however weak.
Yes, but we wince whenever someone reminds us off that. The atmosphere here is DEFINITELY different to that of normal ICHC sites.
Cheezpeach is kinda like the “special” cousin who sits in the corner and comes up with names for all his toes during family reunions.
I only frequent celebs, news, and failblog – is it prevalent anywhere except cats?
So…wait. Blaine is saying that this is a failed attempt at humo(u)r, and is wondering why it ended up on a fail site?
*whispers* I won’t tell him if you won’t!
Eh, I think I follow his logic flow:
1) It’s a funny unintentional fail: Belongs.
2) It’s an unfunny unintentional fail: Doesn’t belong, unless the posters’ snarky comments can make it funny.
3) It’s a funny intentional joke: Win, maybe it belongs if it illustrates someone else’s fail.
4) It’s an unfunny intentional joke: Fail, but doesn’t belong unless the posters’ snarky comments can make it funny.
This one is a 3 that belongs, but it seems like we’ve seen a lot of 4’s lately. And not all of them belonged.
1. She
2. You’re over thinking it.
3. If you have a sense of humo(u)r, you can choose to interpret the fail in a way that makes it funny, regardless of original intent.
4. If you don’t have a sense of humo(u)r, someone will be along shortly to demonstrate how it works.
Erm….yeah. I was just being a smartass. :p
You have so much smarts it has to overflow somewhere.
1. Thank you for the information; without any context Blaine isn’t definitive gender-wise.
2. Says the person who replies with a secondary analysis. ^_~
3. Thank you for reiterating the point I made, which is that frequently the posters’ comments (i.e. interpretation) are what makes a fail funny. But I would disagree with your assertion that every fail can be made funny, or even a strong majority. Unless you’re Robin Williams – he could probably top 95%.
4. Someone with a sense of humor will be along shortly? That’s always good news. Let me know when they get here.
If you haven’t seen it by now… well what could I say. You have your view now, I just hope you don’t get set in your ways.
Seen what, pray tell? Can you define “it,” or is it one of those things that vanishes when you try to apply logic?
There have been many people with a sense of humo(u)r that have posted here. If you have not seen that accumulation of people posting, the it refers to a summation of posts and people a scene right in front of you that you may be oblivious to, then what could I say. Logic applied, and it still stands. Hmm who woulda thunk it.
“I’m right. You should have seen that by now. If you don’t see that I’m right, you’re wrong.”
That’s not logic, that’s solipsism.
Naw, you broke it down wrong there. I didn’t assume the consequent. I merely cleared up what you did not find clear. What I was referencing by the it. Though if you would like to say that no one of humo(u)r has come along and posted. Then well you are denying a reality, in which case proof, empirical or theoretical is useless.
So far, you’ve said that “it” is something which you say I should have seen. When I ask what that is, you say it’s something which I should have seen.
If you want to be gnomic, more power to you. But if you want to engage in logic or claim to have spoken clearly, a non-circular definition of what you’re talking about would be in order. I.e. not “‘it’ is something I understand and you don’t and so I don’t need to explain it.” Until then, have fun.
No you see, what I did was clarify what I meant by it. I said it was the collection of people who had been posting here for the whole time. Not our current instance but the entirety. You seem to be avoiding this part and clinging on to the part where I said you “may” be choosing not to see it. I leave that there as any good logician knows reality is what we make it, it is subjective. I may believe that I can walk through walls, and so walls may not affect me. Someone who believes two solids cannot pass through each other, well they will no see it as that is the reality they accept.
“Let me know when they get here.” This sentence right here shows me that you believe this person has not come at all, so it is you that are assuming the consequent and not allowing for the possibility that the person has already arrived.
Nooooo, I’m saying for the fourth time that you keep refusing to define what you meant by ‘it’ when you said “If you haven’t seen it by now… well what could I say.”
I’m beginning to believe you didn’t know what you meant either.
It, simply defined in the context I was using referred to the posters. There you have it defined for the third time. If you have not seen a funny poster by now, well what could I say. You have your view now, I just hope you don’t get set in your ways. I even can replace the it in the sentence with the definition I presented you and it works.
Ah, that explains the mystery. Thank you for pointing out that other people post comments. I would have probably never “seen” that if it weren’t for your keen insight. (X.x)
I have no idea why you felt the need to inform me of this, as it has nothing to do with anything I said. And it’s just plain unfathomable how you could have decided I’m “set in [my] ways” of not realizing that other people post comments.
But don’t let me stop you; please continue your noble mission of opening people’s minds to the fact that other people post comments. It’ll make the world a better place some day, I’m sure.
If instead you’re claiming that I was unaware that there are funny posters – which would seem pretty dang obvious, but what do I know – you were rebutting a comment in which I twice said “posters’ snarky comments can make it [any given fail] funny.” So yes, I am aware that there are funny posters. Believe it or not.
… See, this is what happens when you don;t understand someone. You react and respond back without a clear message. Considering I said you “may” have your mind made up, you are inferring I said that you “are” set in your ways. Hmmm. I said originally that I was responding to your “Someone with a sense of humor will be along shortly? That’s always good news. Let me know when they get here.” Sentence. I said if you hadn’t seen it by now, well what could I say. That you had your view. My it did not refer to the fact that other people posted, but that other people with a sense of humo(u)r had posted. You want to take sentences and morph them so they fit your point of view, well straw man away. It is clear what I wrote, what you are getting upset about is unclear. The sentence that you left off with was what lead me to believe you hadn’t witnessed a funny poster. Now that you have admitted knowledge of the funny posters and therefore leave the possibility that one has previously posted on this page open, my point, this argument is moot. I enjoyed debating with you though. Pleased to meet you arimareiji.
1. I thought you were addressing Dragonwriter. She’s the she.
2. Again, I thought you were analyzing Dragonwriter’s logic flow, since she’s the only one that presented something logical.
3. I don’t think that’s what I asserted, but it’s close. Let me rephrase: assuming there is some interpretation that one would find funny, by all means, choose to interpret it that way, regardless of the original intent.
4. I was in no way implying nor believingyou didn’t have a sense of humo(u)r. I was referring to the multitude of comments claiming that this was not a “fail”.
My apologies for the parts of my post that were not clear.
1. You’re adorable.
2. *squeeze!*
3.
4. safety
5. *smooch!*
6. PROFIT!
1. I tend to use the male pronouns by default; it is a bad habit. For all I know, Blaine is a she too.
2. I was replying to Dragonwriter, but referring to Blaine when saying that I believed his/her reasoning might be “Blah blah blah.”
3. I could be wrong, but I think we’re saying the same thing two different ways – that the best of all worlds is to look for what’s funny, regardless of categorization. Which is why it doesn’t matter whether the parent or the signmaker is the one who fails in this case. Would that be accurate?
4. My apologies for misunderstanding. I’m often awkward with words, both reading and writing.
Nice to make your acquaintance, arimareiji. We’re in agreement about the nature of fails.
*gives DW another smooch goodnight*
Thank you for your patience, and for explaining what you meant. What you were saying was worth understanding, and I hadn’t. And it’s good to make your acquaintance too. ^_^
I like your breakdown, arimareiji, but I differ in that I think that this one is a 4, and doesn’t belong.
Thank you for the support, nonetheless. ^_^
I mean, “smooth shafts and clean balls”? Very little potential there, because penis jokes have been beaten half to death. Too hard to get interest up, so the joke just flops and falls limp.
You seem to have a LOT of innuendos in those 3 sentences arimareiji,not only that but you’re actually condemning penis jokes. While making a couple more unintentionally in the same sentences.
What makes you so sure he didn’t intend them?
We will never know unless he comes straight out and tells us, even then, do we take his word for it? (Disclaimer: His word is good just putting out plausible situations).
Are you for real? You can’t actually think that comment was unintentional innuendo.
Thank you, kyasarin. ^_^ But I don’t blame NeroX for not getting it – it’s bloody hard to detect sarcasm these days, in an era overflowing with unintentional self-parody. (Which is why FAILBlog exists.)
For the record, I was poking fun at the pool hall owners from a few days ago, by trying to be even more juvenile. I don’t “condemn” innuendo by any means, but I think the blatantly over-the-top “Huh huh huh, he said shaft and balls” subcategory kills brain cells.
*whispers* Where can I get one of those signs?!
Right ho, hands up everyone who is a closet LOL-speaker who frequently hangs out at ICHC.
*crickets*
*rubs hands*
Well, that’s settled that then. No ICHC spies here.
*hands down*
What if you frequent ICHC but don’t engage in LOLspeak yourself…?
But then, I frequent the whole chain of sites, save Engrish.com (because it got dull to me after a while).
I can haz superior attitude?
Are we looking at different pictures? Its obvious that it means candy is on sale.
I like the one that says:
Unatended Children will be given an Expresso and a New Puppy.
Tow tow tow…ow?
It’s not a fail, it’s a joke.
It’s a tow truck win!
You don’t get invited to many parties, do you?
I party my hair on the left
Pun fail…
Party on the left, business on the right?
That’s a real mullet there.
Good night, good night! Partying is such
sweet swallows?
It’s not a joke. It’s something i’d tack onto my register at JCPenney. And win.
What would you win?
A flawless legal defense when a parent looks at the sign, goes “Haha that’s funny,” and then leaves their spoiled screaming destructospawn behind while they go shop. No jury with even one person who’s had to work retail would convict you of picking up the cash register and removing the lot of them from the gene pool.
Hell, in some places you might even get a commendation and a raise.
You don’t win anything, you just win
Zen win win!
Exactly.
So is it just me, or lately have we seen a lot of intentional jokes put up as fails? I.e this one (“We’re not your f**king babysitters”), pool hall sign for shafts & balls (pandering to their 80-90% male clientele), Free Tacos Yesterday (“Stop asking, tards”), “Be a MILF” (advertising exercise apparel), mini-golf sign for 1 night 36 holes (“Well, we can’t get their attention any other way”), etc.
It’s true. Just more proof that the posts are more important that the pictures/videos.
Quite. Maybe we should just change the name to SenseOfHumorFailBlog and be done with it.
you mean these comments threads? i’d like to see a breakdown of what percentage of visitors actually read them. I only opened this one to see if anyone else was going “…wait, that’s win, not fail” (along with like 3 other examples on the frontpage alone), or if the entire site had actually become retarded. Usually I wouldn’t bother so much :p
It’s not a scene, it’s an arms race.
If you can’t stand the jokes, jump into the volcano. Or leave. Either way we’ll be glad to see you go.
LOL
Must be one fat kid if he has to get towed…
LOL
Why is he bending over sideways to take a picture?
Because he’s taller than the sign – so he can also go on the ride, or not go on the playscape, depending on the situation.
I would’ve knelt but whatever floats your boat. Except helium.
What’s with all the three-letter post names? Even the Fail itself was submitted by an NJT.
I know. Weird.
Hi, 3N. Ever check out the Engrish site? Doesn’t the most recent pic remind you of Elizabeth’s Gilbert’s book?
Wow! Down to two characters now.
I haven’t seen Gilbert’s book, only the TED thingy. I’ve watched the TED talk 2 1/2 times. I especially like the bit about the genius living in the wall.
[b]D[/b]ark[b]F[/b]lash[b]l[/b]ight. I didn’t feel like writing it all out.
I need to work on my HTML evidently.
Ironic, isn’t it? You wanted to save typing.
Use the brackets above (ie, shift) , and . instead.
So, it’s like this…?
I can never intelligently guess if it’s carats or brackets. Apparently, it’s carats here.
So, to fix what I said earlier:
DarkFlashlight. It’s from a forum.
Aw, I was hoping you were a member of Minnesota’s Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party.
The person who authors the DFL blog sounds like a Failblogger, at least at heart (click).
There’s a blog named after me?
And a political party.
Because he didn’t want to kneel in the dog poo at his feet.
Could be wrong, but I think that’s his shoe.
They’re new Hush Puppies; he should have house broken them in first.
LOL?
*waits with mallet for the next person to say LOL*
Can I reference the products in my clickie?
Or the organization referenced in my clickie?
Locks of Love has a history of deceptive recruitment practices and bad charity status with the Better Business Bureau.
As a person with long hair, I’m sick of strangers cornering me and demanding that I chop off my hair “for the cancer kids”, which is essentially an urban legend anyway (That’s not what LoL does.)
Plus my hair is only worth like $3 to them. So screw that.
Lawl?
or this website I found oh so helpful?
*crosses fingers that 3H did it right*
LOL!
*Takes particular note of “stress and overwork”. *
this store must be owned by a pedo/michael jackson
No, then it would say “finders keepers.”
ROFL! (ps I didn’t say lol, so step off with that mallet, general bondfan!)
FOCL! Nice one Miranda.
Darn… I don’t have enough money to get my kid back.
O.o everyone yell “ice bank mice elf” in real life
That kind of thing gets you funny looks on the bus.
and at the mall
Not really, I do this all the time.
I like that guy’s haircut.
I think this is far more a win. But I’ve worked retail. Damnable heelies.
Agree. Total win.
Double Fail? (parenting/sign)
parenting/sign = 2 X Fail ?? I guess math really is a matter of opinion.
Algebra is always a matter of opinion.
If parenting/sign = 2Fail then parenting/2 = signFail and . . . well it might be right, it depends on the values of parenting, sign and Fail. Not knowing any of the variables I can’t work out the rest, but Fail is probably negative, and so is parenting, whereas sign should be positive (well, I like it) and that works, I think.
*scratches head* um… this is why I failed algebra II!
Well, parenting divided among 2 should be easier, and therefore not result in a signFail.
When you have half a parenting job, aka leaving the child to roam a store, your result is a sign fail. Which gives us our present situation. So all those posters who are complaining about this not being a fail or it is lame are actually mathematically and algebraically incorrect. Math being one of the purest subjects means you can’t really be any more incorrect.
Wait math is pure then how come its so mixed up?
The actual subject of math is pure, its application its proofs. When you mix it with theoretical situations it loses that pureness.
Like when you get nuts mixed in with chocolate.
Or with Eminem’s face.
This isn’t even an accident. They make those signs as a novelty thing. My grandmother has one.
Grandma, you don’t love me! Please, don’t have me towed. D’:
If I towed you once, I’ve towed you a hundred times…
Ya know, in the Middle East they use a camel tow.
*waits for image of above to clear head – takes deep breath*
In Texas they use a saddle tow.
I am currently awaiting moderation for a reply that has no sexual innuendo whatsoever (and admittedly is nowhere near as funny as yours, but still…)
That’s what I get for sticking my tow in the water on this thread.
At the shops on the boardwalk they use an undertow.
That’s rather untoward of them.
At the magic shop, the children are toad away. The owner’s expense can be a princely sum.
At the NSA (National Security Agency) headquarters complex they use a SHAtow (I know, it’s cryptic – hee hee).
At the Pentagon they use TOW missile.
In London they use the Tower Bridge.
Anyone need a tow-el? I just pulled them out of the dryer. Not to worry, I dried the squirrels elsewhere, just like the sign says.)
Would you care for a schlepps ginger ale?
A guy that works in this shop that is rather rotund…he uses a port man tow.
Construction workers use a hammer tow.
I’d like to throw my previous comment over the side and replace it with one that references a man working in a wine shop.
*towing away previous comment*
Thank you for towing the line.
The thread had become untoward
When you cross the bridge with that comment make sure you pay the tow-ll.
Let’s share…I’ll draw some straws out of the package.
That’s a long row to tow
I’d say that’s more of a win…
Agreed.
Another failblog qwaliti control fail. This is a stupid joke, not a fail.
And you’re a Debbie Downer.
qwaliti? Are you Elmer Fudd?
Be vewwy, vewwy quiet. I’m hunting cheezbuggahs.
.
.
.
BLAM!
Creepy silhouette win.
It’s high praise to hear “creepy” from someone who’s avatar is a person stuffing popcorn into a chicken.
I think the pants the picture taker is wearing is a fail. They look like they were made for someone a foot taller than the wearer.
Interesting OT comment (well, maybe not so interesting): Clicked on your link and saw the Web site announce that I had come from Failblog.org via you, and that I was from Wethersfield, CT. Missed by about 25 miles. Maybe that’s where my DSL hub is?
The website got London right.
Newburyport, MA. Not too shabby. 15 minutes drive.
Woodbridge, ha it is off, and doesn’t even consider the fact the Woodbridge is part of a much larger city anyways called Vaughan. Close enough I guess, within a half hour drive.
I’ve seen a lot of comments similar to yours about that Feedjit widget, not just on my blog but on others. It seems to be off for some people, probably for the exact reason you guessed. I think it bases the user location on where the ISP’s nearest hub is?
Nice shoes.
Wanna ….
nevermind.
*uck a *uck for *uck?
What the duck?
Phewww… someone got it.
Heh. That’s not a fail, that’s a WIN!
seconded…
A Scottish friend of mine was surprised to hear that when selling a US child to the Gypsies, the Gypsies are free to set their own prices. Apparently in the UK they just weigh the kid, add VAT and have done.
Ironic, since Adam Smith was Scottish, and he would have wanted it the Gypsy way.
Totally NOT a fail. Kids are annoying…especially unattended ones. This is a fail fail.
But there’s no place on a kid to attach the tow hook, so this is a fail fail fail.
Well, he/she has to be a tow head
Sure there is, you just have to use a tow-hook with a point on the end . . .
And painfully insert it in the ______ (fill in the blank)
too… much… fail… *head implodes*
Oh good, at least I don’t have to clean this one up. *puts Shamwow away*
Sheesh! Between you and General BondFan4518 ♂ MP of the 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division, Earl of Huntingdon-on-Thames, occasional judge/BFF News reporter/The Speaker of the House, we’re gonna need a whole truckload of Shamwows. Who’s going to pay for this?
See this? *pulls out sponge* One week. This *pulls out Shamwow* ten years. I don’t know, it sells itself!
You following me, Webmaster?
*Robs bank*
Looks like I can now.
I only need $19.95…
You seen the balance sheets for US banks lately? $19.95 might be all he ot.
* got
True dat! It’s probably in pennies too.
*head asplodes*
how much im goin to be charge?/
How many mistakes can you make in one sentence?
4?
Let’s check:
No capitalisation, “im” should be “I’m”, no “am” before “im”, missing g in “going”, and charge is in the infinitive.
There are indeed 4 mistakes. Well done.
You’ve solved today’s riddle. You get a coupon to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Just stay away from the Beyond section…
Ohhh, I so wanna go there now.
Isn’t actually be 5 errors? The ‘h’ in how should also be capitalized.
If you count how many mistakes BondFan lists, the total is 5. I believe his “Well done” was a bit sarcastic.
I counted only 1 mistake, because he meant to say “LOL”.
Excellent point Mr. Name.
Oh, no need to be formal. You can call me My.
I believe that reads Mr. ‘N’, or do you know him personally?
You probably already know this, but MRN’s name stands for “My Required Name”.
I’ll bet Starfish is up on all the TLAs after last week’s running joke.
I know that. It’s a slow day here in the Failblog division of ICHC and I was trying to make a funny. Didn’t work.
Failblog…division?! OF ICHC?!
*foams at mouth and collapses*
Are you collapsing because your head exploded? Again! We can’t all just keep rebuilding that thing. You’re gonna have to start paying extra. Just look at how many Shamwows we’ve used.
Are you saying that comments that cause the world to emplose and heads to esplode will be costing extra now? Will the income generated be used to fix the innuendo machine?
Yea we still need a load of cash.
Where am I going to come up with a wad of cash like that?
Shamwows are washable and reuseable…ten years anyone? *puts the BILLIONS of dollars I saved in my pocket*
*waddles away happily*
Shhhh!!!!
Replies are no longer within my ability to nest.
Ever since LunchBox left the innuendo machines are in the care of General BondFan4518 ♂ MP of the 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division, Earl of Huntingdon-on-Thames, occasional judge/BFF News reporter/The Speaker of the House.
I must say he generally keeps at least one working, even though I’ve heard that spare parts are hard to find.
What’s an innuendo machine?
WHOOPS! Replied in the wrong place!
And Innuendo machine is what produces the innuendo in some of the FB comments. When there is too much of it, the machine explodes. I have tons of them in my storage room, along with the Universe Implosion buttons and my spare army jeeps.
There’s no bad place for an innuendo.
I’ll sham your wow…*to noone in particular*
UNIVERSE IMPLOSION BUTTONS???? *SHOCKHORROR*
Bring it on, big boy!
Yes, universe implosion buttons. They are specially reserved for any paradoxial comments or fails.
Like that fail that said “For safety, please close lid before opening”?
I knew that “No I’m Doesn’t” will make me look like a dude…
Note to self: must ponder new name.
23/F/CO Just to throw that out there. Athank ya!
*universe implodes, explodes, is consumed in a great ball of fire, and starts to sing “my heart will go on” by Celine Dion*
*head esplodes*
@ No I’m Doesn’t! – It’s OK, now we know. Wish I knew the Age/Gender of noone in particular. Sorry he/she/it got screwed up (or actually, didn’t).
MRN, your avatar look like noone in particular’s avatar.
I’ve never heard anyone say that John Lennon looks like noone in particular, but I guess it’s true.
Speaking of avatars…mine is stupid. How do I change it to a picture of my adorable new puppy, Zap (if you haven’t caught this already, I’m a Futurama fan)? I know I sound like a d-bag newb but this forum has no help or faq section so I’m forced to ask you guys. *awaits heavy blow to the head*
Go to gravatar.com, and just follow the instructions there. Have fun!
I understood the futurama reference when I first saw your name.
I wonder if it bothers her how Leila spells her name.
Maybe.
Well, I was a big fan of Arrested Development, and it bothers me how you spell “Maeby”.
.
(I love the irony of having to reply by scrolling up to your post that says “WHOOPS! Replied in the wrong place!”)
Good job Alice! Funny that you mention that MRN, it DID bother me how she spelled her name. haha *avoids lol for fear of skull crushing mallet*
Cute puppy! If you don’t see it yet, it’s because your PC is still using the old picture in your cache. It’s there, tho’.
Aw, what a cute little dog. Is it a beagle?
Speaking of spelling, don’t you mean Zapp? (Not that he’ll notice the difference when you call him.)
Thanks! He’s awesome! He keeps humping our other dog Leela so we named him Zap. haha I see the pic thank you SO much for the help guys. I feared for my life but it turns out you don’t want to kill me for asking a stupid question! Awesome!
*gasp* There’s two P’s? S*** I didn’t know that! Guess I’m not as big a fan as I thought! Too bad I only engraved one P on his name tag. Oh well, not a huge dif but still shows what I know! haha Thanks for opening my eyes!
I think the first part of that comment was TMI.
Me Alice? Sorry! Bond he’s a 9 week old Sheltie Mix. Smart and wonderful.
Oh, be nice! It’s Sunday, we don’t even have 300 posts here, and we have a new lively poster who doesn’t treat this site like it’s another Twitter.
You like me! You really like me! *holds tin foil replica of an Academy Award*
You mean… it was all an act? *sigh*
lol *looks around quickly then relaxes* No! Of course not!
*ahem*
Five.
Er, six. With the slash after the question mark.
Did anybody count the slash at the end?
OK, I’ve been looking at this comment for at least an hour now…
.
One slash – there, I counted it!
.
Gotta go, see everyone next month (unless it already is June where you are). TTFN
Bye! Excellent to meet you!
*looks at calendar*
Hm. May! What do I do until then??!
Anpu informs me that this is the way you get rid of kids. You don’t leave them in the middle of a desert and drive off. They’ll just find their way back. They’re like cats. You feed them once and then one day, they’re thirty years old and still living in your basement, trolling forums and spouting racial slurs at strangers on Xbox Live.
Oh great, capt. awesome and his multiple personalites have returned.
I find Anpu’s antics to be quite whimsical at times.
HOW IS THIS A FAIL???????????? IT’S OBVIOUSLY A JOKE.
WHY ARE YOU ASKING US????????????
OKAY, EVERYBODY JUST CALM DOWN!!!!
*injects with anesthesia*
*is suddenly missing a kidney*
THEY TOOK MY FREAKIN’ KIDNEY!
Oh, heh….I’ll just…put that back on the table….
*slowly backs out of OR*
*Grabs kidney*
MMM, dessert.
Mmm…desert.
Cactus?
Spinefish?
Charlie?
The unicorn?
Yessssss!
Did you see Charlie the unicorn 3?
As a parent, I can honestly say… that is an obvious win.
Completely agree. Parents, your kids are your responsibility, no one else’s.
mwahahaha
Everything you know is wrong!
*looks left and right*
Who, me?
(clickie)
I’m already listening to it!
It’s pretty catchy!
what with child-obesity being ever on the rise… this could possibly be the correct way to say it…
This is why I’m glad my mom left me unsupervised.
I call that a WIN.
…how is a tacky gag sign a “fail”?
AAAAAAAHHH!!!!
*head explodes*
*sighs*
*grabs Shamwow*
Ahh!
*picks up pieces of Bondfans head*
*tries to put it back together*
Help, I cant do it alone!
You need more horses and men.
*knocks over your puzzle like a schoolyard bully*
Ha ha!
*Runs away crying*
Mommy!
*walks in*
I leave you guys for a few minutes, and I find one of my body doubles without a head and the other one on the floor, frothing? And now Rian’s burst into tears! Goodness.
*Walks back in*
I’m ok now, my mom gave me my special medicine.
*stumbles*
Whoa!
*Leaves in a disappointment because I didn’t leave permanent emotional scars*
*Remembers Bobby*
*Starts crying again*
Why! Oh Why!
*Runs away*
Aww, I was just getting your hopes up.
*wipes away fake tears*
*points and laughs at bobby*
*Runs away crying*
Mommy!
Haha! My master plan has come into effect!
*walks away with plans of giant laser*
Can I have some?
No, sir.
Dang!
I guess the good kids are invisible. *holds bloody Shamwow in hand*
This must be where Micheal Jackson parks.
damn failblog monster eating my comments…
Richard! Where ya been?
Lamest Fail submission ever.
While I have agree that it is lame, I would also have to point out that there have been much, much worse.Does anyone notice that the sign also refers to the parents as the “owner” of the child? Owned!
Those kids are fat you know.
WTH? What has happened to failblog in the past few weeks since I was away? And why do our comments now need moderation??? What’s happening to FB?
.
Out of interest, can I still operate my bar?
New format- no more 300 comment limit and much more moderation.Yes. We can’t say **** anymore. We have to say growler.
Bajingo.
Harp.
Guiness
Watered-down American pee-beer.
White wine for me.
Maybe it’s because of the exceptionally intelligent nature of my posts, but I can proudly state that none of my posts have gone for moderation.
None of my posts have went under moderation either. So now we know it isn’t if you’re exceptionally intelligent….
Well, I only have had one of my posts saying that it is awaiting moderation – wonder why. Maybe it reacts to certain words?
.
Oh, here’s your white wine 3N
*hands glass of wine to 3N*
Thanks. Computer is slow today. Maybe I should restart. It’s been a couple weeks.
I restart most mornings, but generally go on a road trip when I want to reboot – like this cumming weekend.
Well, we know at least one word that doesn’t trigger the moderators. Cum again?
I think they secretly gather-up our oooohhhh-too-risque moderated comments, buy them a drink and convince them to cum home for some group comment action.
Don’t all talk at once! These simultaneous conversations can be ear-shattering.
Oh you mean that’s not blood cuming from your ears? God I need a conference call!
A party line is always a good thing. Have your sexretary patch you in to my three-way line.
Flipping top idea! I’ll call him on the intercum! “Hey Stevo! Patch me across the Atlantic…Yeah, 69 on quickdial!”.
I”ll put on my headset – I’ll need my hands free to take dicktation.
Ah…so you haven’t blown that set off yet?
It does react to certain words. And welcome back.
Did you ever have a post get eaten by FB, only to have it show up 5 mins or an hour later? That was “awaiting moderation” without the courtesy of telling you so.
Once mine await moderation, they never show up. It’s quite irritating at times.
Yes…it’s more than a touch weird that I can visualize the growler, but not Im***ne All The People!?!
Read carefully! It’s my posts, not me. Shït, most of the time I feel as stupid as a rock.
I’ll take a Long Island Iced Tea pretty please. *shows ID*
Hmmmm, you’re over the drinking limits – sorry.
Eh – bar is closed as of…now.
Goodbye
*closes bar, locks up, and goes home*
Worst…bar…ever
Hey, the drinks are virtually free.
Ha ha! Yeah, especially when you don’t get one!
What kind of free? 500 Yen free, or real free?
Virtual drinks are always virtually free. Your comment makes me yen for more wine. Wait here.
*waits*
*hands Alice a free jello shot*
Slurp it up! On the house.
SWEET! Thanks!
Anyways, does VIRTUALLY free mean you get a virtual hangover?
I’m back, thanks for waiting.
If that means that my computer works more slowly, then yes. It gets cranky, too, pour thing.
Crap! I just got here!
I have a bottle of wine stashed in the back. C’mon…we’ll go drink it.
*brings a nice Amarone to share*
*happy smile*
*presents a plate of Parmigiano-Reggiano * Heard this pairs well with Amarone…
I’ll take whatever is cheapest.
Mine are unattended. Will you tow them now? Please?
lol
Would rather see Catherine Zeta Jones for 30 secs.
How do you insert Youtube to Failblog?
Please don’t.
No “everything you know is wrong”?
Well, SOME things I know are wrong mainly because I am a product of the American public school system. But not EVERYTHING… just saying, slows stuff down in the forum. What about submitting to the fail homepage if you think it’s funny?
Calm down, No I’m Doesn’t. Alice is talking about the song “everything you know is wrong”. Allegedly it’s catchy.
Allegedly? Apparently you don’t know for sure – ’cause then you’d be wrong.
I agree with NID – I already put a link to the video once. You can do it again, either in your name link or right in the post. That’s just 1 extra mouse click for anyone who’s interested.
… ‘Cause then we get crap like this.
|
|
|
V
OH! I think I know!
YES!!!!!
Ah. Didn’t catch the song reference. My bad. Sorry Alice! But also thanks MRN!
How did you do that???
Oh, nevermind, I scrolled down and found out the crap was already posted.
Hot girls doing 69 for 25 minutes straight!!
I think it’s a nice video… I just wan’t to share it with you…
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
I lose all my patriotism when I see Hungarian spam on international websites.
See what happens?
failtopic.com
It’s like, ever since they won the Interwebz they are failing to fail.
EPIC HUMOR APPRECIATION FAIL…
It’s supposed to be a joke……
Just proves Americans are getting fatter, when you have to TOW kids
You just made my day, thank you.
tothose talking about eating kids above, i can only say…
I WANNA LEG!!!
w00t
wtf
Words of wisdom...You suck.
Sorry that was directed at the video posting tard.
*backs away*
Gosh darn all these trolls to heck!
I’m not a troll
*takes Rian aside* I think we need to work on how to read replies and figuring out who they are intended for…
Ahh, learn something every day.
You…suck…and so does the song. Oo
First.
I’ve always preferred “Unattended Children Will Be Given An Espresso And A Free Puppy”
I call this an epic WIN. Parents who think that the staff of any store are there to babysit their kids are *ssholes.
Oh, and it was supposed to be a joke anyway. Sense of humor FAIL for whoever submitted this.
THIS ENTIRE WEB SITE FAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a few tips for you.1. There's a little red 'x' at the top right of your screen. Click it.
2. If you chose not to follow the steps of #1, try this. Press the 'alt' key at approximately the same time as you press the 'f4' key.
3. If both these don't work or seem too hard, try clicking the arrow pointing to the top left hand corner of your screen.
4. If you continue to have trouble, I have another option. Pull the cord from the wall.
5. Stop being a dick.
To prevent this situation in the future, there is one solution-DON'T COME HERE.
BN, you rock my world.
Well, thank you.Blog Ninja… I think I love you.
Perfectly done.
I bet all the ladies say that to you too BN, am I right or am I wrong.
So what are you so afraid of?
Umm I don’t know, what?
No sorry, that was directed at 3. You posted a second before me. *sings* I think I love you so what am I so afraid of I’m afraid that I’m not sure of a love there is no cure for…Sorry JOKE FAIL lol
Rian is new to the way replies are made.
Partridge Family may be lost on Rian, NID – but thanks for catching the ref!
I understood the reference, as well, NID.
“hit pause, lift the needle, or turn the radio off”
who would have thought the words of salt ‘n’ pepa could ever be appropriate?
Fail? Try Epic WIN.
This is a much better sign. (click my name for the link)
Been said.
lol, funny sign
Not much of a fail, the sign is supposed to be a joke… failblog needs to pick up its game; there has been heaps of pics lately that aren’t really fails.
They pick ‘em and they choose ‘em, you have one job; live with it.
Or, just go away.
That works too.for the place that I work in (a book and toy store, where children run around screaming and parents have their noses glued to books or leave the store for a bit) this sign would work wonders. Great idea. I wonder where I can get one of these. Epic Win
Incorrect, it is a fail. You can’t properly tow a child, without breaking laws or morals. Sheesh do I have to break down the fail like this to all of you “win posters”. It take the fun out of it for the rest of us.
lol funny, you’re making a joke…right?
just like the towing children sign
*Whoosh*
There went the seriousness of the comment, right over your head.
Fail fail.
Two fails don’t make a win.
That sign is WIN.
Failblog fails again.
*refers to all other comments that are similar and have been proven wrong*
I think the caption should be WIN…XD Probably not the first person to mention it.
ahahaha *looks at comments above mine* Yep…I fail…
*mutters curses*
*goes downtown to the impound lot*
*pays fines for child*
*promptly leaves child to get towed again*
No, this is totally a win
DAMMIT!! THIS BLOG NEEDS MOOOOOORRE SMUT!
.
Honestly! What’s happened to the committed and driven sexual innuendo that made this blog great!
.
Ride forth with me if you will, or go alone I shall…but RIDE I WIIIIILLLLL!!!
Our wonderful driven Smutmobile is awaiting moderation!
*swings up into the saddle behind DrB and gives him a squeeze*
Giddyup!! Hi-oooOOOOooo Silverrrrrrrrr…. Awaaaaaaaaaaay!
*tosses a “fail-” up between wonderful and driven*
*tries to catch up with DrB* *puffpuff*
*reaches down…schwiiiings! Foop up into the saddle! SQUEEEEZES*
Aaaahhhhh!! The wiiiiiind rushing through the hair!!
HEEEEEEE YAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!
i think it’s a win akshuly. as is “all unattended children will be given a free double shot of espresso and a puppy”
a free glass of orange “juice” full of aspartame and other artificial sweeteners are apparently good for this as well. makes them far more hyper than regular sugar would have done…
thats too funny
This is one of the problems with this site. This is not a fail, it’s a cute sign meant to invoke a chuckle. Posting it as a “Fail” is the biggest “fail” here.
Who moderates this site? Are they not smart enough to understand that? And what idiot took the picture and submitted it, thinking it was an actual “Fail”?!
you’re annoying
Kids are great as long as you boil them first!
RT
http://www.online-privacy.vze.com
Epic WIN! if you ask me.
I love children.
Battered and deep fried!
Redneck t-shirt that I’ve seen:
If there are millions of battered women,
Why have I been eating mine plain all these years?
i love kids
… but i couldn’t eat a whole one
Hmm…Perhaps a win, if you are against stupid parents that won’t watch their children?
Did anyone notice the reflection of the photographer? why was he bending a little to the right? Is the sign located so that only children read??
photographer reflection FAIL
It had the same sign 10 years ago already at the Whistle Stop Cafe in Juliette, Georgia.
win ?
Isn’t this more like win?
This is win far more than it is fail. People leave their kids to wander free far too often in stores.
I don’t think this is a fail at all!
wa..tat’s good, can I have a sign like this too?
Ummm….it’s supposed to be like that…(someone probably made this comment already, but it just irked me nonetheless)
This is a win
failblog fail is what I say. This is obviously a joke to get your attention about watching your kids. Not a fail.
Win. I love it.
is that a promise or a threat? LOL
Child abuse! :O
Surely this is Win?
WIN
“tow away at fail’s expense”
No – that’s WIN
ROFLMAO thats hilarious…if a kids acting up the mom or dad can go I WILL ABANDON YOU AND YOU WILL BE TOWED U CRYING LITTLE BASTERD
WHAT THE F***
THATS A WIN
I think that’s a WIN, actually. XDD