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Cheezburger Network Blog
yeah XD
Talk about a typo…
Am I right?
Vegecide?
Rest in Peas
I think Creamed-ation is the way to go
Not if she’s stuffed with blue beans.
I’d hate to think of her (casse)rolle’n in her grave.
She won’t have mushroom to do that.
lettuce continue with this.
These jokes are still quite meaty, but we must stop before the yolk gets killed
eggs!
Shell, yeah!! That’s it, eggsackly!
I’ve spawned impossibly bad egg jokes. I apologise.
EPIC THREAD
fail.
Well, it’s not like were egging these yolks on, or anything. They sure do hit my soft-boiled spot and make me crack up.
No, hummuside.
but i like hummus
*transforms into ZOHAN”
or right
nice name
“Beloved aunt”
I just wanted to post something
and I didn’t knew if I could get the first post…so I just wrote something
wow this isnt very punny
yes i just broke that one out
Vegetables are murder too!
Careful where you point that sweet potato!
*steals the sweet potato*
*looks for a chef who can make pie out of it*
Now you’re calling the potato sweet? Oh my!
*arrives in grocery shop*
Ha, my darling peas!
Wait, what did I say?
You said:
‘*arrives in grocery shop*
Ha, my darling peas!
Wait, what did I say?’
I think what he meant to say was cheese.
Or pudding. Either one.
It’s called a root vegetable for a reason!
*beats self with nettles for not refreshing*
*boils nettles for nettle soup*
Yes, I’m only trained in self-defense against attackers coming at me armed with fresh fruit. Well, that or pointed sticks.
*releases the tiger*
Epic.
Murder she wrote.
No wait….
Groceries she wrote.
Vegetable: Life on the street.
My Wife and Beets?
24 carrots
I was actually gonna put tha one down. lol
Crime Sausage Investigation
To Catch Asparagus
How I Met Your Mandarin
Agatha Crispy
Anatomy of a mushroom
In corn blood.
Death of a saladman.
Murder by nutmeg.
Peel, or No Peel?
Wheel of Falberry.
*squeeze*
Date at a Funaral.
Raisin Arizona.
G’nite all, time to go home and go to bed.
*big squeezes all around*
A-gourding to Jim.
*squeeze* ‘Nite!
Murder on the Orangeade Express
Pea’s Company
Law and Okra
Mork and Minty
Dirty Haricot
Monty Python’s Flying Citrus
Natural Born Cabbages.
To Kill a Broccoli
Mango, P.I.
Oh, now I see. It was a beet root gone wrong
I hope they recover the meat and vegetables when they catch her.
*beets up DrB*
A SALT AND BUTTERY! A SALT AND BUTTERY! (assault and battery)
4d!
I’d say your fruit’s a little large for your branch there, Troll!
i think it’ll hang on
Nice going, dumbass. You just sank your own battleship!
Don’t steal bad oysters.
Don’t feel bad moist her?
In Soviet Russia….Never mind.
If only they’d known about capitalism sooner.
in soviet russia mind nevers you.
In Soviet Russia you never had a mind.
kaBOOM! Postbomb.
That’s the social aspect of the economic crisis: Murder because of stolen food.
*looks around*
Who stole my nuts?
in soviet russia, nuts steal you!
BIG difference there.
Worse than the last newspaper article that was posted.
Murder was the case that they gave me.
hmmm…
I’m reminded of a Snoop Dogg song except now all I hear is
Lettuce was the case that they gave me.
CORRECTION!
The headline above the picture stated “Stolen Groceries Fail”. It should have read “Homicide Win”.
Follow my advice and take this projection problem to your therapist. And your spelling problem to a typist.
Where in the nine hells did that little tantrum come from?
Either too much or too little medication? (G’morning C and GV
*squeezes*)
*squeeze*
be careful, he could be the hommusidal maniac
lol “Homicide”
A combination of words I never thought I’d read…
Failblog, lol’n homicide since 2007!
Mornin’ Arthur!
Morning! What was the first homicide FB lol’d about?
I dunno, but it sounded good
It did. Dunno why, but it reminded me of a radio ad I heard in LA years ago. It was for the beer Rolling Rock (disgusting!). They did a little Frenchy-bashing and then finished with “…nothing against the French, but we’ve been doing this (=brewing) since 1939…”. I lol’d about that for days! They really thought brewing since 1939 was a long tradition…
Brewing since 1939? We don’t like those fancy shmancy new “beers” much here in Belgium.
Hehehe! Exactly! I just looked it up – the oldest German brewery exist since 1040. Now that’s old! Oh, and “beer” is correct for Rolling Rock. It tasted as if someone took a beer, the same amount of water and a banana, mixed it all together et voila: Rolling Rock.
My kind of beer! Tastes like water, still gets you f-ed up! Hiya Arthur! Hiya czuhc!
Hi mookie!
Bye mookie!
Hi crow! Didn’t see ya there! Back to work?
Just filing away the night’s warrants, then it’s home and to bed. Gotta love the midnights!
Morning Mooks! You meant “My kind of random slightly alcoholic beverage” surely?
Did you call?
’cause I heard alcoholic. I don’t know if that’s something I should admit to right now.
If you don’t mind my asking; how old are you?
Uhh…22 as of March 4
I don’t mean to be patronizing, but please be careful. That stuff is really dangerous and ruined millions of lifes.
I’m a sailor so I guess it’s acceptable. Isn’t it?
Seriously, I’ve seen people younger than you fücking up their lifes with too much alcohol. I’m just saying that because you seem to make comments that insinuate you’ve been drinking pretty much every day (night for you). Forget my comments if I’m wrong about that!
At my school people do get surprised when they ask me if I’ve ever drunk, and I reply no.
Bff, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with occasional drinking, and especially between 15 and 20 many people make …umm, intense experiences with alcohol. I too did and today I have several funny memories because of that. And some not-so-funny… But it becomes dangerous when someone developes a habit and extends the “experiment phase” for years and years.
So BFF is experimenting with alcohol, but like me he’s doing it as the control group. (Thank you, scientific method!)
What, no! I have never touched a drop in my life. The closest I have got is shandy. I’m determined to keep it that way until I’m legally allowed to drink. And even then I don’t really feel like drinking. My grandfather wasn’t a heavy drinker, and neither was my father.
*hasty* Of course, there’s also nothing wrong with not drinking! Say POB, aren’t you British as well? My stereotypes about the British are in a real danger if I find two Brits here not drinking!
Don’t worry Arthur, I drink on occasion and act like a giddy fool. Much unlike the cool, calm, collected and professional face I put on for FB.
BFF, the control group is the one not having anything changed from normal; in this case, not drinking.
And @ all the heavy drinkers, please fail responsibly.
im 30th did the groceries die??
Yes, memorial services will be held at the fail cemetery. In leui of flowers please make donations to the Vegan Society.
*gets gear off, and bounds into forest to make donation to Pagan Society*
*takes carrots out of DrB’s ears*
*shouts* IT’S VEGAN SOCIETY !
*puts carrots back*
*is ‘crest’ fallen*
Oh, umm…I see. Carrots you say? Well, waste not, want not!
*bounds into forest to make donation to Pagan Society*
*puts antlers on*
*joins DrB*
*puts fluffy tail on*
*joins czuhc joining DrB*
so you have a fish for a tail?
That’s just silly.
Gives another meaning to a grocery list.
It would have been correct to have written stolen groceries but then the store manager caught up with the thief and something new needed to be written.
It’s just a small typo.
The keys are right next to each other.
It was about that woman that Artie choked.
Oh noes, hommuside!
I know, doesn’t it just make you falafel?
why do you come here to chat?
Why do you come here to ask superfluous questions?
Make that: Why do you come here?
Because it’s appeeling.
me thinks it’s esoterrine
Because, here in the asylum, we don’t have many options.
Either chatting or electro shocks?
Why does a dog lick its balls?
because it tastes so damn good.
that’s just nuts
Why wouldn’t you come here to chat?
I still don’t get this.
Let’s see if I can help you. You see, when a momma fail and a daddy fail love each other very much, then the daddy fail gets the baconlube and….
Oh, oh! OOOOHHHHHHHH.
So the Fail is a typo in this pic! I get it now! Thanks.
Your welcome, glad I could help!
I’m trying to find a perfect Fail pic. I know I can use the Lol builder and send it to failpictures@gmail.com
NOW DO YOU DARE TO CALL ME A NOOB?
Now I don’t understand it anymore…
Let’s see if I can help you. You see, when a momma fail and a daddy fail love each other very much, then the daddy fail gets the baconlube and…
Ok, I don’t know what to say.
*hopes someone replies regardless*
I replied regardless.
OK thank you.
Kenny is the same as he ever was. It’s just that, now, he’s more like …a tomato.
In a related story, OJ Simpson has vowed that he will not rest until he finds the real groceries thief.
Is it because his OJ stands for “Orange Juice”?
“I did not eat the groceries. Ms. Lettucinsky.”
“Tear down this wall, Mr. Cabbachev!”
“Mr. Lettucestone, I presume?”
“A Lemon-entry, my dear Watson.”
That’s one small step for man, one giant leek for mankind
To Peel or not to Peel
That is the question
No, to eat
Or not to eat, that is the question.
i think the groceries thief / murderer needs a profile.
his name is Basil.
Stolen groceries, homicide … same thing.
I don’t get how they could of substituted stolen groceries for homicide.?
Well it was both, he stole the carrot and peeler and turned it into a knife to stab this person with.
Or he stole a viciously sharp mango.
Quite a deadly weapon in the right hands.
Revenge of the Pilfered Tomatos!
Stop making fun of them! Doesn’t everyone get those two confused?
sleepy when wet
don’t brother me
How could you mispell it like that?
i am not comprehending how someone can misspell homocide for stolen groceries.
somebody really needs to re-learn spelling…
“A crime of great magnitude was committed here. A young man committed stolen groceries with a knife…” lol