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Cheezburger Network Blog
Buttheads.
But I wanted to be first!
well, you failed
And now he can be the butt of our jokes.
He is just asinine.
He obviously wasn’t reared properly.
I wonder who was behind his upbringing…
He never had any potatoes.
Oh you just brought a hole new dimension into butt-pun-runs!
His butt is so wide that it needs four extra dimensions.
I caught the back side of this pun run :/
I’m caught in the backside of this pun run.
Help!
Hindsight is 20/20, you know.
Objects in the rearview mirror maybe closer than they appear.
We can look back at life’s stern lessons.
Whenever he looks back he will always see his caboose.
Let’s hope we didn’t drive him to become an arsonist.
*looks up from reading the Ars Poetica*
Hmm…? Whassat?
Derrière I make another pun? Or have we reached the bottom of the pun run?
I think there is at least one more pun in the trunk, thought you will have to sift through all the junk.
Well, fanny that! Another pun in the trunk!
But now the end is in sight.
There has to be more, I am sure we have not reached the bottom.
no, the end is not here
It is somewhere down under.
Butt we can’t stop now!
Steals “t” from level up post.
What a butthead….
BLAME IT ON CALCIUM! IT’S EEEEEVIL.
I think I’m falling behind here.
Might this be because you’re drinking too much beer? Bottoms up!
That’s what he said last night…
*roffles*
But you still broke the pun run, so I’m sorry…this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you!
*slaps velvet with the backside of a shellacked mackerel*
It was a staggered pun run! It doesn’t count.
.
And it was too good to pass up…
.
*grabs shellacked mackerel and runs*
Is this discrimination against staggered pun runs???
Velvet's a pun runnist!Aren’t you guys giving him a bum rap…?
…Naaaaaaahh.
Stop being so anal.
Don’t be cheeky or you’ll get the hose.
Ba-dum-tush!
*pause*
Sphincter!
:
Sorry, that’s all I could come up with.
Do Starfish have butts?
*insert chocolate starfish joke here*
We sure do. Too small for a potato though.
Starfish have to use French Fries.
Nothing is too small for potato action.
What about hot-dog flavo(u)red water?
“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.”
~Douglas Adams
asinine? im from texas what the hell does that mean?
I’m sorry, I don’t quite see how being from Texas has anything to do with that.
I’m from Texas as well, and I know that asinine means extremely or utterly foolish.
I think Jeff Foxworthy explains it best:
“I give her face a 4 … and her ass a 9(asinine)”
Didn’t he?
Sorry, steve. No soup for you!!
.
And you should have replied to JasonK with Beavis.
Beavis?
You know, Beavis and Butthead, the MTV cartoon comedy duo?
Oh, that show I didn’t know it existed.
(well I didn’t know MTV existed until two years ago >_>)
*facepalm*
Why does this make me feel old?
I’m thinking many non-Americans probably haven’t heard of these things.
*squeeze*
You say you used to get music on “CD”’s? What’s a CD?
I do have a box of 8 tracks in my basement.
“8 tracks”? Is that what you find on Amy Winehouse’s arms?
No, it’s the white powdery lines you find on her mirror.
ROFLMAO. 8-tracks on Amy Winehouse’s arms … damn that was good Brewski! I mean that was bad … you know what I mean. It got the dead to laugh!
*squeeze*
Thanks! That helps.
Because we are old Ms B. Wanna age gracefully with me on the veranda?
Beers are on me
*offers shamwow to clean up beers*
Well, I would beg to differ as Ms B, well,
♬You Make me feel so young♬
Think cartoon show.
damn not refreshing…
EPIC POST FAIL
OMG DID THEY DIE?
Your humour just died.
By the way, the coach of the team, norbert meier, was fired because of the headbutt.
HOMOSEXUAL
Bunch of lame actors!
Still better than Keanu Reeves.
Whoa…
DON’T YOU DARE INSULT KEANU… actually you’re right.
He is hot, tho.
“I am not reading this from a cue card.”
Oh. Wait. I. Am.
I’m. Still. Hot. Tho.
SNORK!
His range of expression is exceeded only by Jerry Seinfeld.
I think Michelangelo’s David has a great range of expression then both.
And Michelangelo’s David is infinitely hawter, too.
(Sowwy, fluffy!)
His acting is less stiff, as well.
And his facial expressions are more varied.
Hm. Does Michelangelo’s David have an agent yet?
*hops plane to Rome*
Hmm…you’ll have a hard time finding him there, Brewski, as Michelangelo’s David is in Florence… :p
Maybe Brewski’s planning to take a coach to Florence.
What…you mean the football coach in this fail?? Why would he take him to Florence by flying into Rome?? :p
Heee! David is in Florence.
*giggles*
*Buys train ticket*
*Hops off in Firenze*
*walks to Accademia gallery*
*buys ticket, enters*
*negotiates acting contract with David*
@DW: :p :p :p
Because that’s where they were headin’?
Well, that would take some afore(head)thought.
@Brewski: pllbbbbt! :p
The irony here is that I saw David in person less than a year ago. And, I flew into Florence airport.
Brewski wait. Say hi to my cousins for me first, well say ciao to all of them. Gosh it has been a while since I have visited Italy. Been 3 times so far, when I was 1, 7 and 12.
What’s the deal with that?
Five card draw. Ante’s 10, aces low and no jokers.
No jokers? Fine … *leaves thread*
Okay, I’ll leave one joker in, but I’m taking out the four of clubs.
*puts a ten-spot down*
Deal me in, sweetie.
*deals to Judy*
Pay no attention to the bent corners. They came like that.
Hey, why does this card have “K CLUBS” written on the back in Sharpee marker??
Wait a minute… they all do!!
*grabs money and runs*
*trips on shoelace*
*headbutts floor*
*picks up money*
*gives half to Brewski*
Cleanup on aisle three!
*Wheels in mop and bukkit*
WeeeeEEEE!! Moneysh fur ME!!!
*hic!*
I can buy anudder dagon glog wid thish!!!
*stumble*
Okay, Brewski, you’ve had enough for the night. Let’s get you home.
Thash ree…ree-DICKLUS!!
I feel GROOVY! Gotsh ta get the GROOV on!!
*sways unsteadily*
He can’t say I didn’t warn him…
GO WINGS! haha
Has anyone seen pablo fransico’s imitation of him. If you haven’t I linked it. Terribly funny, very safe.
eewe, he is not hot.
To each her own!
Trufax
double K.O. !!!!!
when we were younger, my sister and I would play Tekken 4 for hours just trying to achieve this rarity
Well, I feel sorry for you, abstract. Tekken 5 is so much better. Namco messed up Tekken 4. It was too slow, it had few playable characters, and all of them looked and sounded dumb. You wasted your life. Tekken Fail.
F*** the What?
Flounder the whale.
Fluffy the water-nymph.
[Arthur]
Wook the fůckie!
[/Arthur]
Fethes tangible wants.
*kerrrrthump, splortch!*
.
Fetches tangible wants!
♪ I could while away the hours, conferrin’ with the flowers
Consultin’ with the rain. ♪
♪ Ease on down the road ♪
And thus marks the difference between a child of the fifties and a child of the seventies/eighties.
I am ashamed I grew up in the eighties. I mean, what was with the cloths and hair? It’s like the whole pop culture world was on LSD.
And it’s creeping back too! I saw a teenager yesterday with hot pink high top converse sneakers. Why oh why won’t the 80’s just die?!
Here is why:
Those who live through it want to forget and those who didn’t don’t know the lessons that were learned. If you don’t learn from the past you are doomed to repeat it.
I’m proud to be a child of the 80’s! Yes, the clothing, for the most part, was tacky. And most of the hairstyles (punk rockers were the main exception). But the music was the best! It still is! Today’s music samples the crap out of the 80’s music.
I had Nancy Wilson hair, only in flaming red.
*grins nostalgically*
I recently came across a picture of me on my 19th birthday. Big hair, part of it crimped, and a Def Leppard t-shirt. *sighs nostalgically* Ah, those were the days…
*grins nostalgically, too*
*looks at all the old people grinning*
*whacks BN with her cane*
I think you’re going to regret that, Iusuallylurk.
I thinik you’re right.
*runs*
Lurk, we have a shellacked halibut for that purpose. Wanna borrow?
*trips on extra “i” and falls on face*
*steals old lady’s bag*
Sure, that should do the trick!
*whacks BN with shellacked halibut*
*takes back her purse*
Masher!
*sneaks up behind Lurk*
*pushes wheelchair down a big hill*
*puts a crocodile at the bottom of hill*
*puts up sign*
*engages jet engine on wheelchair*
Bwahahaha!
*turns wheelchair around and chases BN*
Woops. I misread that.
*saves Lurk and shoves Ninja down the hill*
*takes out deckchairs and invites others to watch*
*pulls out popcorn*
*brings assortment of drinks and plops down next to BFF*
Excitin’, aint it!
*passes Ninja on his way down the hill*
What the -?
*tries to turn, crashes into tree*
Really is.
*munches popcorn*
What do ya think is gonna happen to Iusuallylurk now?
WheeaAAAHHHH!*thump*
*thump*
*BOOM*
*loud banging*
*sounds of pots and pans clanging to the ground*
I hope she gives Ninja a good whoopin’!
Go Old Folks (who aren’t that old…)!!!
*crawls out from under wreckage of jet-propelled wheelchair*
*shakes fist down hill at BN*
*limps away*
*commentates*
And that concludes this exciting chase between BN and IUL, and the final scores are…0-0. Bravo.
What about the crocodile at the bottom of the hill?
*cranes neck to see crocodile*
I have no idea…perhaps it went away?
If the crocodile’s name is George, maybe he’s been frozen? If so, just wait a few hours and he’ll be wandering the blog again!
Bummer. That’s a waste of a good crocodile.
What if the crocodile’s name is Ralph?
Clicky for my obscure reference ^ .
*sigh*
My computer at work doesn’t have the latest flash player, and won’t play videos from youtube. Stoopid razzaflabbin’ computer!
IUL, I’m glad you stopped lurking. Even if it did mean you crashed your wheeel chiair into a tree and an alligator called Ralph.
Me too!
*squeezies for Lurk*
*squishies for fluffy*
*tases Tekken5*
I’m afraid that’s not allowed any more, Brewski. But I’ll just wag my finger at you.
*wags finger*
well, not everyone can aford the newest technology, maybe some people can be happy with simpole things in life. i actually do have tekken 5 now that i am older, but i will still play 4 because i love it and my sister and our memories.
*insert Tekken joke*
That was Tekken for granted, Malicite.
They’re really Tekken it to me today. *sadface*
Mal, are you Tekken the Vth on this one?
I’m Tekken this too far, but I’m ginger peachy with that…
♫ Tekken care of business! ♫
BTO ftw
British Trust for Ornithology?
Exackerlackly!
ftw?
Pop-tastic!
British Trust for Ornithology … Frags The World!
Drama queen win
Which one?
Go fish!
*headbutts fish*
OW!
Some one call a vet!
Call the vet what?
Bob. Call him Bob.
Do vet’s work on fish? Or do you need a biologist?
I think we need an ichthyologist.
That’s it! I knew it was an icky-something but I just couldn’t figure it out.
It looks bad. I’m calling a sturgeon.
His heart rate’s floundering! Hurry!
I think it may be a tad late. I haven’t smelt anything that bad in years.
I think I am going to be eel.
I think someone poissoned Jules!
I think I am going to blow fish chunks.
Hurry, before I become an angel fish!
I dunno. But that doesn’t matter! We need a marinologist, stat!
I need one for my sick colossal squid!
Noooooooooo! Vets flush goldfish down the toilet and buy a new one!
All drains lead to the ocean.
Yay! The goldfish is free!
All roads lead to Rome.
When in Rome…
Visit Florence to see David.
…who has a greater range of facial expressions than Keanu Reeves and Jerry Seinfeld.
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Over, Oveur.
Flight 209′er cleared for vector 324.
We have clearance, Clarence.
Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
.
BEST. MOVIE. EVER.
.
Joey, have you ever been in a… in a Turkish prison?
Do you know what it’s like to fall in the mud and get kicked… in the head… with an iron boot? Of course you don’t, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that’s a dumb question… skip that.
.
Getting a zombie started can be a dangerous thing …
.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
.
A hospital? What is it?
.
It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.
Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
.
Ok, ok … I’ll stop now.
Hee…I just watched that movie again last night.
*smooch*
*grin!*
*smooch*
I’ve always wanted to live by Mount Wannahawkaloogie!
Sharkbait! Ooh-ha-ha!
Enough with the sharkbait!Sharkbai..oo..ba..ba..do…
Blah blah blah. Me me blah. Blah blah blah blah me me me.
*Performs mouth-to-gills resuscitation*
Stay away from the light!! Stay with us Fluffy!!
Dang… 4th
But 1st to fail
Fails at counting, too.
or …. 5th?
5th of what? Oh it doesn’t matter, pour me a double of whatever you’re drinking.
What’s that?? Abstract, how did you get hold of WhoaNellie’s tequila? My God, what did you do with him?! And more importantly, can I have a shot too?
hmm, idk, loving the tequilla over here…
am i flushed, i feel hot
*hic* Thash okay, Dragon gave me sum… sum… GROG!
*hic!* Thanksh!!
*SMOOCH!*
*passes out*
Hey everybody, Brewski passed out!*draws obscene pictures all over Brewski’s face with a Sharpie before Duct-Taping him to the ceiling*
*releases Brewski from ceiling and covers in smooches*
ooook, i got a smooch!!
Okay, but…I’m drinking dragon-grog and it’s a bit strong…
*pours Starfish a double and hands it over*
Holy sh*t DW!!! You can polish crome with that stuff. Thanks.
*closes one eye so he doesn’t see double*
Alright, we seem to have conflicting imaginations here. Would somebody please clarify so I know how drunk I should be getting?
I sampled the dragon grog one fine eve, I believe I wound up passed out on coyote, snoring. That’s what I was told, anyway.
I only had a sip…use this info wisely, Brewski.
*Looks at watch*
*looks at shot of dragon grog*
Ah, what the hell!
*pounds it down*
WooooOOOOAAAHHH!!!
Mwuaahahahahaaaa…
*drinks some dragon grog*
Hey! You watered this down!
What…did you want their heads to explode???
Hmm…good point, humans will do almost anything you tell them not to.
Itsh AWE *hic*… AWE *hic*…
Itsh GREAT! *hic*
Wud sumbuddy please shtop the room from shpinnin?!
Sorry, that’s me.
*releases lever and room stops rotating*
Is that better now, Brewski?
Brewski?
Oh my god, someone call an ambulance!
Need… bukkit… NOW!!!
*kicks largest bukkit in the fail blog over to brewski*
screams in terror, look at your face!!!!
Careful! That crome wasn’t built in a day!
*goes over your bodywork with fine-toothed crome*
Starfish!!! Don’t drink the Dragon Grog!!!
Too late. I’ll get the fire-proof toilet paper.
Ouch!!! My poor little starfish!!!
That is one headache they both deserve.
They should have done a crotchbutt.
Too…many…jokes…must…not…
*explodes*
I bet I know how YOU would vote on Prop 8… lol
*wink*
*nudge*
*goose*
*duck*
*swallow*
did you drink first?
I’m a dog, I lick and lap, then swallow.
I am so turned on now.
Interesting…
*makes note in little black book*
*ganders*
*cranes*
*f[l]inches*
*swift*
*terns*
*mocking*
*peckers*
*loons*
*tits*
*boobies*
*ash-breasted tit-tyrants*
*ruddy-headed goose*
*white-naped honey-eater*
*willcocks’s honeyguide*
Wow, they really have bad breath!
Always eat 2 whole garlic before any soccer match. Whether you’re playing or watching.
*notes*
*implements*
*scootches*
*passes the Smints to evan*
No Smint, No kiss!
SOCCER FAIL
its called football
So is soccer fake, just like pro wrestling?
Pro wrestling is FAKE?????
Baked bean wrestling is FAKE?????
*struggles with a baked bean*
*looks up*
What?! Nobody told me that!
*forwards Brewski memo* There you go … now you are in the know.
If that’s the memo on the TPS reports, I already got it. Please don’t forward it again. I really do know what the new policy is, I just forgot this one time!
I will recall the message then.
Ah! Yeah. It’s just we’re putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that’d be great. All right!
♪ How am I supposed to live without you… ♪
♪I can’t live, if living is without yooouuu…♪
Don’t wanna live, all by myself!
Annnnnnnnnyyyymoooorrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
Tulibu dibu douchoo!!
No, that headbutt looked really powerful, I son’t think they were faking at all…
The left one did fake it. He admitted it on the press conference.
LIES!!!
Press conference was fake.
That press conference was obviously photoshopped.
Exactly Brewski!
But he did, but that means he didn’t…
*tries to stop room from spinning*
*fakes consent*
*arrests looney for consent counterfeiting*
He is such a drama queen.
*hiding from gaynor for failing to read Pepsi345’s drama queen comment above* PHAIL!
While I think you got the queen part right. The other guy is just a joker. Now all we need is a king and a ace and we have a royal flush
Perhaps we should elect a king.
Maybe with a nice ace?
Nice ace is one of the requirements. Are you applying?
If you insist, but I try to apply myself as little as possible.
As long as you apply…
*summits to application for the king of clubs*
Royal flush FAIL, but I’ll give you a 10 anyway.
Don’t you know Leila is the perfect 10.
That’s news to me.
*wolf-whistles*
*waves dollar bills*
How come only the gals get to have this kind of fun? I demand equal time!!!
*waves dollar bills at Brewski*
Yeah, baby! No, wait, put it back on! Ugh, that’s why. Even your nipples are hairy.
Wha?!?! Wait a minute! No fair, I was here as a spectator!!
And I’ll have you know I just shaved my nipples this morning, thankyouverymuch.
Ouuuuuuuch!!!! I think it’s best if you pluck ‘em. Here, you can use these tweezers I just found.
Are those the ones I used on my…never mind. Just walk away slowly.
*takes tweezers and sticks in ear*
*grabs lampshade, puts on head*
LEILA!! You din’t tell me you have a twin shishter!! Wow you even dresh and move the shame!! *hic*
c’mere you two, BIG KISH!!
*falls on face*
Wow! Brewski’s going to be nursing one hell of a headache when he wakes up!
Who said anything about waking up?
Okay, who did that to Brewski? *picks up Brewski off the ground*
Brewski did that to Brewski
*hoses Brewski off*
Hey good lookin’! Now wheresh my kish?
*BAAARRRRRFFFF!*
Ooops, shorry… I dunt feel too good…
Turns out he was the coach of the other team.
Those two should get their heads examined.
They did; the psychiatrist told them it was therapeutic to act out their aggression.
Brain science in action.
They need rocket surgery.
What just happened.
A new fail was posted.
Then a bunch of comments.
And JasonK headbutted a fish.
Scuttled fish? (poor fish
)
Well, first the Earth cooled, then the dinosaurs came. But they ate too much and got big and fat and turned into oil. So then came the Arabs, and they bought Mercedes Benzes.
Surely, you can’t be serious.
Don’t call me Shirley.
Dirty cheating foreigners!!!
*whacks Tommy with the biggest mallet known to man*
That’s the only problem with Whack-a-Troll. They keep popping up, even after you whack them.
They should make a game of this. It’d sell like hotcakes.
Where’d you get your mallet? It looks very much like mine! I like the graphite shaft, very nice.
*offers ShamWow to clean debris from mallet*
Mallets! Get your Troll Mallets here!
Just 14.95 Ugandan (whatever Uganda uses as currency)!
Shoot. The blog eated my clickie.
BFF, if you go to BigFish games and search for “whack-a-troll”, you actually can play it. I find it strangely satisfying…
Only because you named them all after your students.
*roffle*
And ex-boyfriends.
i agree….what the hell just happened?? lmaoo!!!
Why would you want to headbutt a fish? You would kill what little brain cells it has left…
Let’s not insult Fluffy’s intelligence!
*drop kicks 2happy to next year*
Thank you Ms B!
Any time!
Remembering how to reply is the first thing that goes.
Ooooh…new avatar.
Who, me? I hope not!
Nope…I’m seein’ stars.
That’s odd…we never butt heads.
No…but you ring my bell on a regular basis.
And…you keep me a clearheaded.
Are you sure? It looks different to me. *looks closer at monitor* I see the stars but they seem to be blending in the taupe-ish background. Maybe I am wrong.
You been sniffin’ dragon grog, Leila?
*snerk*
Is that what we are calling it now?
I’ve been sniffin’ something. I am seeing things…
Do you see dead people, LEILA?
Are you having an identity crisis, Bondfan/Yamamoto/Willis??
No, why?
If I did I would turn myself in for mental evaluation. *sees a floating entity in the form of a woman* Yeah, everything is cool.
What does seeing dead people have to do with anything? I see dead people all the time! Someday we’ll remember how to come and take over the world, or something like that.
New flower?
I am making use of the ‘crazy’ vegetables MRN found for me. clickie. I chose the RagingRedCabbage but it has yet to refresh on my screen.
That’s a flower? (assuming you were referring to Leila) I’m not sure what that reddish object is, but that marshmallow sure is being violated.
New dragon, GV?
It looks like a flower with a marsmallow on it to me. My resolution’s making it very small though.
So nice of you to notice!
Nope, same dragon, just zoomed out a bit!
Clickie!
I knew it vegetables do have feelings! This is why I don’t eat them!
They do?
You know the hardest part about eating vegetables? Getting them out of the wheelchairs!
Hello? Is this thing on?
Oh … yeah … haha … ha … ha *looks around nervously* :shock*
Someone has quite an interesting imagination!
I like the Killer Korn, and it’s choice of weapon!
Some of them are down right scary. I am worried about the Carnivorous Carrots.
I can take 'em!UNRELATED NEWS HEADLINE: SEN. ROLAND BURRIS DENIES TRYING TO BUY SEAT FROM ROD BLAGOJEVICH.
Roland Garros does what now?
Shocking, simply shocking. I expected him to come out and say he is guilty as hell.
And I also expect the MP’s to come out and say that they’re going to repay all those taxes that were used to build moats and repair swimming pools.
I totally agree. I also expected Gordon Brown to apologise, Bush to be arrested for war crimes, and the Pope to admit he’s Buddhist.
That moat thing was the most ridiculous part of it. Who the hell has a moat these days?
*sidles quietly out of the thread*
Stupid football wimps.. laughable.
Awww…yeah, I’m such a sap…so whatcha gonna do, Andy? How about you pick the subject…let’s show the crowd whatcha got, eh?
*dunks head in menacing bukkit*
*sigh* *feels stooopid and gives-up for a bit*
I think he is calling soccer players ‘football wimps’ … something doesn’t sound right evan.
7 billion people call it football, futbol,etc. 330 million call it soccer. Lets just say its football and be done with it.
It’s ok evan. Your name kinda acts like a disclaimer.
*offers evan a shot of whisky*
Here, this will smarten you up.
You’re doing all right for someone without a brain.
♪ I’d unravel every riddle for any individ’le,
In trouble or in pain. ♪
For all firsties, almost firsties and happy rest
some background: this happened in 2005. The trainer got fired and lost his trainer license. True personal fail..
Good! The poser deserved it.
.
Love the name, BTW.
Hmmm…they seem to be a little dramatic
Ugh. This happens in any sport where referees have to call fouls.
I was so happy when the referees called a technical foul on Vlade Divac for flopping. Flopping bastard deserved it.
This is why i hate soccer.
I half-expected to see the video of Zidane headbutting the guy in the chest.
Then again, that might not count as a fail.
it would be a win
we accept both here on FailBlog
They should get an Oscar for this…
More like a Razzie.
pfft
The guy on the right needs a dikfur.
What’s a ‘guy’?
so close!
You got to get up a little earlier in the morning to fool this crowd, X.
I was hoping someone would play along
If you want to play, you have to pay.
Yeah! Gimme all your cash X-Phile!!!!
I know a ‘guy.’
*tangential thread of trivia*
Guy Fawkes is the origin of the term “guy”. He attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament in England in 1605.
clickie
Historians are pretty sure that Guy Fawkes was framed. It was very convenient at that particular juncture to whip up a public frenzy against Catholics.
But hey, it makes for a great excuse for fireworks every Fifth of November. . .
Ah, modern football; a game in which you can pretend to be mortally wounded and only get a yellow card.
That sums up everything that is wrong with soccer.
yeah if theyd worn stupid helmets like in american football this would never have happened.
They’ll never get ahead with that kind of acting.
Sad Soccer
Happy Football
What a little betch. On par with the woman who caused a scene after being slapped ever so gently with a stack of documents.
One pair of pink Bonsai Sandals, please. Size 8.
Are you okay Judy?
It’s the ad. Doesn’t anybody else see the ad? For the sandals? The cute little furry sandals?
Uh-oh….
Judy, I think you’d better lie down for a bit.
Allsh I shee is ad fur monshter truck rally!
WeeeEEEE!!!!
Oh lookee, it’s JUDY!!
*gives Judy big SMOOOCH! and stumbles away*
*wipes face with ShamWow*
At least he’s a happy drunk!
LOL! I realize that people on FB do more partying than those I know IRL. Well, they wait till Friday afternoon…
-
GO BREWSKI!!!!! *hoots and hollers*
*looks at Leila’s hooters*
You know the bird pun is up there. ^^^
ShamWow(tm)
Great for face wiping
Great for drying off
Great for washing your car
Is there anything it can’t do?
Can it beat a prostitute on your behalf?
Sure can! Notice how I haven’t been arrested recently? The ShamWow(tm) takes all the heat!
*police bang down door of Vince Offer’s home*
Vince Offer, you are under arrest.
Nope. I haven’t seen that one. I will take a pair though. I once saw the ad where a girl wore a t-shirt that said “It’s great to be white” … so I try not to pay attention to the ads anymore.
I actually bought my wife a dress from one of FB advertisers for her birthday. She absolutely loved it.
You are such a sweetheart!
Are you getting used to saying ‘my wife’?
Yes, actually, it’s growing on me.
My wife has been growing on me ever since we got married.
Are you saying she is a parasite? Or is it symbiotic?
One of her arms were gone (tragic blender accident) and it has been growing back ever since.
Are you shocked or disappointed? There’s even a baby Starfish too.
*wishes he had a clickie of the little guy*
Awww…!
*wee squeezes for the l’il starfish*
Not disappointed. You know what happens when you assume though…
-
Get that clickie going. I wanna see.
When I’m home tonight, I’ll see if I can upload some pictures to photobukkit or something. I’ll have a clickie tomorrow.
And people wonder why American’s are slow to accept soccer. It’s like trying to take pro-wrestling seriously.
The most countries in the world have football/soccer as theyre national game. We`re pleased its not in the U.S otherwise it would be ruined like every sport the U.S has created.
American Football = Rugby but for wimps in helmets and tight padded trousers
Basketball = adaptation of netball (a girls game)
Baseball = adaptation of rounders (a girls game)
enough said!
Ahahahahahahaha!
They should change the name of pro soccer to team diving.
That’s all they do. How can two people fake getting headbutted? It boggles the mind.
That makes me ashamed to be a soccer player.
ahahaha an accidental Kiefer
No soccer is not fake germans only such sissy and fake always fake injuries ^^
*rolls on floor with his hands on his face*
MY EYES! I read that and it HURTS!
Germans are tough what the hell are u talking about?
lol im 25% German
50% italian
the rest is normal everyday american…..
Ach, der Albert.
Ausgezogen um die Welt zu erobern, und nu’ bei S06 II.
/Fail
Ahahahaha..
lol
These videos always give a bad name to soccer. What they did here had nothing to with soccer. Soccer rules!!I concur! =)
Soccer players are only the hugest ever faking lil pussies lol. in slow motion u can clearly see he’s nowhere near knocked out from that lil lovetap
Yeah, too bad he's not wearing a specially engineered, reinforced, face masked football helmet with steel plating shoulder pads, butt pads, nut cups, knee pads, thigh pads, a neck brace and a mouth guard. That would make him a real man.*snork*
No, but learning to play rugby might!
Rugby FTW!!!
Funded the war?
Don’t mention the war!
I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.
WIN!
-
*gives Ninja 10 gold stars* YAY!!!
Woohoo!! Gold throwing stars for me!!Now, now Ninja. They are not for killing others.
Psst! Ninja!
Use them on the trolls! Killing them is ok!
I think I'll need a few more then...Can I whack them with my cane?
And I’ll help also.
Me three!
Use whatever means necessary! Welcome to the team!
Yes..but that begs the question: what would make a real ninja?
*puts on soccer cleats and kicks DrMean in the face*
The person on the sideline didn’t like the player getting in his face, so he faked an injury to try and get the player in trouble. The player then has to pretend he got headbutted or else face the retardation of the alleged abuse.
Thank you Captain Obvious!
rofl! they shocked each other! if you pause it while on high quality, you can see the little…uh…electricity….move between them
um…yeah…definitely did not see the electricity. Sorry, I’m going with Captain Obvious’ theory…
♫ We once loved together
and floodlit that time
input – output – electricity . . .
They should definitely use some Head-On for that problem. Head-On!
Apply directle to the forhead!!!!
directly is what i ment lol
can you guys get a life seriously
Why are you addressing yourself in the plural?
Don’t worry I’ll take care of this one.
(Btw nice to meet you.)
No, but we can get a life humo(u)rously.
I thought we had one?
My point exactly!
Wait, we have a life??? Why didn’t you send me the memo?
We sent it to you by Nemo.
Woops. I actually gave the message to Dory, which might explain why fluffy never got it…
But can one get a life posthum(our)ously?
*boops Derek’s nose*
Hee!
*runs off*
I tried getting one after finals sucked mine out of me but they were all sold out
This is why Soccer FAILS in the States! Wussys!
Yeah, NBA players never do things like this.
*Glares at Vlade Divac*
LoL that’s freakin’ hilarious!
Just one video is the answer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7d4I-HR6iw
Try rugby.
think i’ll pass on that one
lolwtf?
pass…lol
suggestion fail
AHAHAHAHA epic lameness
He didn’t even hit him that hard. What a pussy.
I was in the stadium, when this happened. I didn’t see exactly the action from the stand, but i was sure, it was the player (his name was Streit) and not the trainer. After this scene, we saw nearly a fight between the two teams….
At home, i saw the true action in TV.
And this game was full of hate…a real derby…
nobody wins with a headbutt.
Oh no. Another newbie. *waves
Hello peoples!
I have been reading these comments weeks before I signed up here. :/
*waves back*
*offers cookie*
*noms on cookie*
how do I get an avatar up here?
Gravatar dot com, it’s pretty easy.
I don’t quite understand the timidness some people show and the need to announce oneself. Is the blog that intimidating? Anyway, welcome Raito. *waves*
It is American instinct. We cant help ourselves.
Im intimidated
Hi everyone
*waves, then looks down with hands in pockets*
I can’t imagine why anyone would be intimidated.
*picks a bit of newbie troll out of teeth with toothpick*
Hi! *waves back*
HEY YOU!!*acts intimidating*
Naw, just kidding. Welcome to Fail Blog, Gilbert!*sigh*
Both of my comments here are awaiting moderation. Mayhap they will show up at some point.
Grrrr.
*shivers, then dances with relief*
cheers… nice tabi boots btw
I have it on good authority that we can be rather intimidating…but I can’t imagine why!!
*picks a bit of newbie troll out of teeth with toothpick*
Did he die?
Nope! they were both taken to be hung for poor acting!
well, yes, they did die :/
welcome to soccer
Aw don’t say that, this is the ugly side of the game. It is meant to be the beautiful game and most times it is.
This has nothing to do with the game.Which is what I was trying to communicate.
Well good then. Just had soccer practice tonight! Very rainy...
I am very jealous. I am going to get back into soccer, but now I can only coach. I wish I could still play. Ruined my knee with and lcl tear.
That's too bad. Soccer is such a great sport. I just wish more Americans could get to know it.Ah, the memories of playing soccer in my youth. Seems to be a family sport for my family, we all play!
Same story hear. Doesn’t help that we are all of Italian descent as well.
Yes hear hear me, not here. >.< "doh"
Italians, soccer, woot! Me three! Except I suck at soccer so bad… but I can make pasta, so I think that makes up for it!
Being italian is the shizz
soccer is no fun if you don’t know how to play…like me!!
lol I think I’ll go make pasta too lolz
Football is a violent sport!
Soccer in english…
Fussball auf Deutsch!!!
Nope.
In English this sport is called Football. And has been for what, 400-500 years iirc.
Wow, soccer is filled with a bunch of pansys !!
they need a snickers
Except this is football, you dolt.
What a pair of idiots XD
he went down like a total pussy
ball sack
omg bloody hollywood
Blooooooody hell
Total Hollywood.
Fake Headbutt is Fake
lmao…that funny as hell
*dang*
-ouch!
-er wtf???
This happening is about two years ago. Now Duisburg is in the second league…
yup
Schwalbe!
I have to say that this was the lamest, fakest headbutt I have ever seen. They barely even touched each other, there’s no way it could have hurt that badly! This fail is fail!!!
Damn! And here was me foolishly thinking that the fact that they barely touched each other but still fell over was the fail!
well sorry! sarcastic much? geez you guys ARE intimidating! (haha jk don’t hurt me!)
Ah, you’re a real person! Please accept my humblest of apologies m’lady. There are many trolls about of late and I fear I mistook you for one. I beg your forgiveness!
you are most certainly forgiven, good sir
I thank you fair lady, and wish the best to you and yours, may your days be long and happy.
OMGosh what a couple of wusses!
privacy-tools.echoz.com
He wasn’t Algerian enough to pull that off properly.
Because of this Fortuna Düsseldorf got him cheaply and now we’re in Bundesliga 2!
WOO BUNDESLIGA ZWEI!!!!
IT’S IN GERMAN!!!
(ES IST DEUTSCH!!!)
I think we should let this guy play hockey
We’ll get a REAL reaction like that lol
what a pair of fruits
what pussies
LOL what a show. I wonder if a lawsuit came next.
If you want to see funny driving related videos please visit my blog!:
The Bad Driving Blog
more proof that soccer is a puzzy sport
Yes, if proof was needed…
Stfu moron!
hahe! too funny :3
dumb german people
Schwalbe-Versagen
The Rocket Surgery comment was in a syrup commercial back about 5 years ago. I still use this line today
The Eggo Syrup commercial, some corporate guy in a suit
Yep. Drama queens to a man.
Uh….
Anyway, give me FOOTBALL (the real stuff, not this foreigner nancy-boy stuff where *THIS* is an excuse for a headbutt! Why if it was in God’s Country(TM), there would be a SIX INCH DEEP by THREE INCH WIDE hole in SOMEONE’S head….
this is a disgrace to soccer. even the managers know how to playact.
Bahaha, I remember this one!
LOL when i played this video my internet went down XD
this why soccer is so lame
The fakers! -_-
this shows the quintessence of this sport
they didnt ever touch theyr heads, and see how perfectly they go down. especially the player looked like mel gibson in braveheart…perfect acting!!
I FUKING HATE HOW THIS COMMENTS ARE TRANSFORMED INTO A CHAT… QHY DON U JUST GO TO A CHAT, WHERE U CAN TALK ANYTHING U WANT??? THIS IS FOR COMMENTING ABOUT THE FAIL!!! HA! COMMMENTS FAIL!!!
You should see the italian players…
AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
i remember this
i laughed so hard
Man soccer is gay. No wait, people that play/are involved with soccer are gay. Faking assholes.
Instead of acting like the idiots at 4chan, make a valid comment toward the Fail in the video. Idiots…
Anyway, the two people in the video are faking, this is common in Soccer.
I heard they do this in soccer all the time on purpose to get a foul point or something like that.
This is why soccer sucks.
Ah, football at it’s finest, you know if you can’t over exaggerate an injury or failed tackle then your not worthy of European football.
soccer is the biggest bunch of wusses
weakling win.
indeed
hahaha
Im fan of MSV Duisburg ((it was the blue white team with this trainer) btw his name is Norbert Maier) and also live in duisburg and everyone is laughing at him when his name is called.
Hes hard fail in MSV Duisburg community.
He lost his job after this.
Hes legend here.
U can tell both the manager and the rival club’s player were faking the pain.
Commercial sports disgust me… >.<