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Cheezburger Company Blog
It wasn’t there for the rehearsal!
BOOM!
*faceboom!*
Camera:–1
Face:——0
Inanimate objects always WIN!!!
And moving inanimate objects get extra points.
He was clearly surprised; his performances are usually panned.
Your comment was quite trolley.
I thought it was finely articulated.
That’s taking “cut to black” too far.
They used too much gaffer tape.
One second yer find…the yer like WTF!
He wasn’t the best boy for this job.
He really needs to get a grip.
Since the performer has dark hair, the boom operator can’t even claim he didn’t know that the lighting directive “Kill the blonde” is slang.
I’m guessing he won’t be able to crane his neck for a while after that.
He really should have sung: Hello Dolly!
After that knock, he probably felt pretty light headed.
He lost his direction.
Up ended in an unusual way.
*Wonders if there is any usual way*
haha, i would like to see the entire scene from the cameras perspective
BAM! Right in the kisser!
what on earth does trolley mean
*facepalm*
And that was an easy one to track down.
Yeah, I guess there’s no point in railing at him.
But surely we should express our discontent?
What’s the point?
Foiled by Dragon’s double puns again. Should have left more buffer space…
Oh, come on, Aja! You conduit!!
Ooh, the pressure!
Don’t derail now! You can do it!
I see Aja stopped after his third rail…
I appear to have run out of steam.
Now hes back on track.
Rhymes with jolly, by golly Miss Molly. While I’m on the subject, did you know Miss Molly had a collie named Dolly? She also had sisters, Polly and Holly, and a brother named Rollie. They all liked to play tennis for a folly. Can you guess why?
they enjoyed the volly
Very good, but volley.
*grabs skateboard*
*attempts ollie*
*makes sure to film the impending fail*
Prolly!
…Do you need a ‘brolly?
(Two, please. *squeeze*)
One for Wally and one for his collie!
Here…these were giving to me by a Bengali.
*squeeze!*
But, Ollie….
*flumbles with tie*
*heehees*
*Hands over some holly*
Will this do anything to make us all a little more …
Jolly good!!
lolz!!
This is why they call it a boom!
He was cautioned…if he didn’t stop acting like a prima donna they were going to lower the boom.
*hums*
Boom-dee-ada, boom-dee-ada…
“I love real dirty things…”
Ooh, you’re in luck then.
(In best resonating voice…)
“Is that a putty knife in my pocket or am I just ap-peal-ing?”
“This is harder than Chinese math!”
*Breaks into song*
♬”I love the whole world and all its sights and sounds” ♪
…john lennon icon!!
i cant see the picture…. FAIL!
that was ausum
That dude FTW!!
*wonders if Starfish knows what FTW means*
F*ck the world, right?
starfish….For The Win…same sh*t different day *sighs hopelessly* I wish there was an acronym for that
SSDD
Starfish Supports Drunk Driving?
Sadly Santa Doesn’t Drill
Sick ShamWow Dude Diets.
That’s a whoreable way to lose weight.
…loves your nuts?
Let’s keep this tongue in cheek.
Don’t you mean tongue in teeth?
fot $8000 dollars i expect that tongue wherever i want it.
The hear can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to the ocean–
Holding the curve of one position,
Counting an endless repetition.
Sure
Happy
It’s
Tuesday
no.
Fudge Turtle Wicked
Fail to watch out?
FAILED TO WATCH OUT LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Future Turd Wiper
Fat T1tty W@nk
owned XD
When I first saw FTW I thought of WTF. I still have a tendency to read it as ‘F*** The What’.
Don’t feel bad, cloral. I do the same thng, and I only found out what ‘FTW’ can mean two weeks ago. I thought people who used it were dyslexic.
For the longest time, I thought it meant “F*** the What” as well.
Ooh, another free earworm.
Once I thought my innocence was gone.
And now it truly is.
I haven’t been there for the longest time.
Clotheslined! HA!
That was awesome.
By the way, Velvet, I keep meaning to tell you: There was one comment of your a couple of weeks ago that I still giggle about. It was when we were planting earworms and Brewski said “thank God I don’t know these songs” and you counter-earwormed him with “Oh I. I just died in your arms tonight”.
Opps, didn’t mean to plant that… I’ll try and fix it:
Carry on, my wayward son.
Glad you enjoyed it! Funny thing was, I had been listening to XM 8 to the AT40 from 1987…I think…and that was the number 1 song on the countdown. That’s why it was fresh on the brain.
.
Right now I’ll take just about anything to replace “Poker Face” that has been on continuous loop in my head since this morning.
I’m still sayin’ that Aretha video from the previous Fail will annihilate any earworm.
Now you’re just being cruel! *Pokerfacepalm*
LOLZ SO HARD, CLEAN UP IN AISLE 7
NOOOOOoooo!!!!
*headdesk headdesk headdesk*
*places uncrackd walnuts between brewski’s head and desk*
.
Hey, I need to bake some cookies. This will speed up the process.
*tosses an e into uncrackd*
.
I knew I shouldn’t have slingshot all those spare letters the other day…
I shoulda walked away!
*lowers voice* shoulda walked awaeyeye!
It was a long hot night…
*guitar staccatos*
How does someone not see a camera right in front of their face? I mean it’s not like it was hiding behind a tree and jumped out at him.
I am the type of person who runs into walls, all the time. I can’t imagine how I could possibly avoid something that doesn’t stay in one place, like that camera. That would seriously be me!
In his defense.. the stage was all foggy.
*Walks by watching this conversation*
*Notices Ms B*
*staring*
*Walks into water cooler*
Um, I was thirsty, um ma’*voice cracks*am could I get you something to drink?
Thanks! A drink would be wonderf..
*trips over own feet and falls*
*Ms B lands in waiting arms*
Well looks like I caught myself a regular fallen angel. Care to come away with me?
Only if you’re there to pick me up when I fall (which is a lot).
I can only hope you will fall only for me.
*smooch*
*smooch*
My heart trips over itself at the sound of your voice.
While mine skips a beat every time we meet.
*double smooch*
Let me explain in song:
♫ Blinded by the light!! Wrapped up like a douche, another runner in the night! ♫
Okay, it’s actually “revved up like a deuce”, but I never heard it that way.
…and the fog that, mysteriously, didn’t go away for days…
Speaking of misheard lyrics, I know people that still think Jimi Hendrix sang “‘Scuze me, while I kiss this guy!”
A lot of people apparently think he was an early gay-rights activist.
one of my favorite things to do when bored brew, is the kiss this guy website.
Tried to check it out, but it seems to be down at the moment. Thanks for the tip!
Strange, but I couldn’t get to it either, but when I went to Google it I could get in at a lower dir level and then navigate around the whole site.
CCR: ♪ There’s a bathroom on the right ♪
Is there anybody on the planet that can understand the lyrics to “Rock the Casbah”?
How about the verses in “It’s The End of The World As We Know It”?
Or anything by Bob Dylan?
.
He needs to buy a vowel, Pat.
*’m b*yc*tt*ng v*w*ls fr*m n*w *n.
Ooooooooooooh Eeeeeeeeeeeexceeeeeeeeleeeeeeeeeent! Moooooooreeeeeeeeeee fooooooooooor meeeeeeeeee!
You sounded a bit like Mr. Burns, when you said “excellent”.
Mr. Burns: “Put her down Smithers”
Smithers: “Sir you’re flying the plane,”
Mr. Burns: “Excellent”
*s *t * b*d th*ng th*t * *nd*rst**d th*t?
**s**ll*l*rk will use up all the asterisks at this pace!
Nirvana!
clickie ^^^
Doh! Name fail! I’ve been outed!
Someone stole your clikie!
LOL! So, is it Bob, Rob, Robby, Robbie, Bert, or Robert?
Aja, you can let go of that clam now.
No no, none of the above. I just forgot to change my name back to “Brewski”.
Ah, ok. I also remember when you first started posting that you had a link to a MySpace band page. You and your brother?
???
Nope. Hmm. Are you sure that wasn’t my evil twin?
I do play guitar. Or used to, haven’t in several years.
I’m also functioning on less than 4 hours’ sleep, so I could be hallucinating.
.
Got any spare caffeine?
I wish I could help! I’ve actually been begging for caffeine all day too.
Nurse! The patient is fading! Prepare a 50cc caffeine injection, STAT!
ZZZZzzzzz….
.
Huh? Wha?
.
Oof. Maybe a new clicky will help me.
Don’t you mean “Stock the Catbox”? No, I don’t think . . . um, wait, there are lyrics??
♪ Dethrone the Failer pwed, hit him in his cranial bone, that’s where they expect it least ♪
* pwned – sigh *
I enjoy making songs in other languages sound like funny English.
this clicky’s for Arthur. (where is he today anyway?)
I believe he went off to give Angela Merkel a shoulder massage.
I know it was for Arthur but I looked anyway and roffled!
Present! Funny clicky, thanks!
I’ve been wanting to ask, what is a clickie? Forgive my ignorance, I know not what I do.
When someone’s name is highlighted in blue (the usual convention, anyway), that means they put a Webite in their post on the 3rd line. Hover over the poster’s name (Somewhere, probably the bottom of your screen, the URL for the link will show.) and if it seems safe or you trust the poster, click on it to go to the link.
Thank you.
NO CLICKIE!!!!
…Sorry. Just a habit.
Once we get you fired it won’t matter.
He was wearing his shirt over his face football style.
*streaks through thread*
*waves dollar bills at fluffy*
*Punches Fluffy in the nose*
*Takes ShamWow and runs*
HEY!
HO! HIP HOP HURRAY! HO!
JUDE!
LAW?
AND ORDER
Fries please.
Diet Coke for me!
Bûter, brea en griene tsiis, wa’t dat net sizze kin, is gjin oprjochte Fries.
You called, Skwerlly?
Oops! I mean, BFF.
So how’s the tongue, Chaz? Stitches holding?
He didn’t see it because he pulled his shirt over his face while running. You need to go to a good eye specialist I guess..
Ice, Ice baby.
Are you thinking of the last fail where the baby was set up to be iced?
No, Isn’t this one of those ice rinks?
Oh yeah, I withdraw in shame…
Soothes Olur wiff *Squeeze*
Mice, Mice rabies.
Bye, bye, ladies!
Get up and run! It’s coming after you!
It’s a giant octopus!
…or a colossal octopus, no time to look up the Latin name!
Where’s Fruitcake Solves All when you need him?
He’s cool. He’s with me.
Actually, it’s a colossal squid.
*headdesk*
Must refresh!
Mesonychoteuthis Hamiltoni! YES!
Alexander Hamilton for $10, please.
For $10
This famous American document was signed by Hamilton as well as many other founding fathers, and guaranteed American Rights and Freedoms.
The New York Times! Next question.
I’ll give both MRN and Arthur credit!
For $20
This west indies locale is where Hamilton was born in 1755.
*buzzes*
War and Peace!
I’d Haiti to guess wrong – someone else try.
You’ll Nevis guess the answer…
Jamaica big hint with that pun?
*pushes buzzer*
The right to privacy?
The Patriot Act?? Oh wait, that eliminated rights and feedoms, my bad.
Feedom = taxes?
I’m not sure what you mean.
♪ Feedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose. ♪
♪ Won’t you help to sing these songs of freedom♪
Too… many… earworms… must… *head explodes*
Hey Stafish, you started this run and then broke it – or, R you saying you still don’t see the original typo?
Lights, Camera, FAIL
Knights, coconuts, GRAIL!
Fights, Comma, TAIL
Nights, Condoms, ALE
Dwights, college, YALE (??)
Fights, Codfish, SNAIL?
Mites, Polish, QUAIL?
tights, rofflish, YELL!
Bites, ticklish, HELL!
Rights, americans, SELL!
I’m with Starfish on this one.
Have fun you two!
Hahahaha! Wow that was a good one!
Arthur FTW!!!
well, that will do it then..yup. no depth perception? that is the only thing i can think of that would make this move ok. hmmm or “blinded by the light!”
Revved up like a deuce.
Wrapped up by the deus ex machina.
…there’s no way he’ll get out of this one…oh wait…what’s that random object decending from the sky to save him in the nick of time?
No fair, you beat me to it!
I didn’t even see this before I posted the same comment. ^^^
It’s OK – it’s “cut loose like a deuce” anyway.
… cause I’m going back to the original Springsteen lyrics, before I start a back-n-forth here.
All I can think is, YOWCH!
All I can think is COUCH!
Small icon shrinks his POUCH!
All I can think is GROUCH!
Should’ve been camera pwnage
They’re ticking time bombs those cameras.
BALLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Um, that was o-kay, but it needs more cow bell.
I hate cows. Aren’t they ripping the Ozone with farts?
Maybe, but they’re so tasty!
Cow farts? Tasty? Really? Whooda thunk…
I’ll be glad to wear a little extra sunscreen for a big juicy porterhouse every now and again.
I’ve got a fever! And the only prescription is…
MORE COWBELL!
Pity is, with all the great acting Walken has done, that will probably be his most remembered performance.
More narcolepsy?
It’s really going around these days.
Indeed. My troops are keeling over every few minutes, and I-zzzzzzzzzz….
*waves ammonia salts under BondFan’s nose*
C’mon BondFan! Pull through!
CLEAR!!!
*zap*
Live, dammit! Live!
Boop…Boop…Boop…Booooooooooooooooooooop………………………………………………
Dr. X-Phile…I think we’ve…*sob*…lost him…*sob*
If only he had watched out for that camera, this never would have happened.
*strides into room*
Hello, everybody. Why is my body double wired up to a defribulator? What have you done to him?!
UGH! I forgot! BondFan always keeps multiple copies of two things: body doubles and innuendo machines!
Oh, hi, uh, this? Nothing, just a little
*runs*
We were just trying to “defrib” him!
*hides Red Sharpie behind back*
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9′er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9′er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9′er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower’s radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That’s Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?
ah, that feels good like a nice warm bath for my mind. thanks, Blue2th
I picked a fine day to give up making sense.
It was all that ridiculous hair in his eyes.
Why don’t we get to see the shot from the camera that he hit just as he hits it? Would that have been just too merciless?
Good idea! OK everybody, let’s line up for another take!
And… action Zorb!
Smelcome everyone!
Oh no…
Oh, shit.
It’s in the director’s cut edition.
They did a matrix-style shot on that version too. Right before he hits it everything freezes and you get to see a 360 degree pan.
Not every performer can pull off breaking through the fourth wall.
This guy definitely had max(illary) breakage, though!
It was jaw-dropping action!
(*smooch*)
I think that camera was a (face)plant.
(*smooch* back atcha!)
Cheese!
*posses with Cloral*
*puts up bunny ears and hopes Cloral doesn’t notices*
Didn’t need an S
I didn’t even notice.
I did…and I wondered why he was setting a posse on Cloral.
He likes his spaghetti westerns with cheese.
*shakes fist at AA for no apparent reason*
Your comments are so witty, they should be outlawed
How come nobody’s said: “OK, Cloral”?
Because Doc is on Holiday?
Did you find out what he wants on his Tombstone before he left?
Wyatt do you ask?
Don’t Bat your eyes at me like that. It wont get you any pizza.
That will be a Mystic redirection to those who don’t know pizza brands.
That was a Dodgey statement.
Well, let’s rustle up a few more Western puns, then.
You are the Master, son.
lol had to read that one a couple times before I got it.
Whoops, sorry, didn’t see the camera
*backs jeep away from crumpled camera*
Find another camera. Failblog residents must take a family portrait.
Maybe the camera guy had a grudge against him because of a prank he pulled three years ago and this is the first opportunity for revenge.
Ha! I remember I was there. Poor camera man never regrew his pubes.
And the look on his face when he saw the giraffe! It took three weeks to get the mascara off.
*roffles in nostalgia*
Mascara that lasts for three weeks?! I’ve got to get my hands on that stuff. I’m tired of re-applying every morning!
It, uh, gee, I’m not sure how to say this, but uh, it wasn’t on my eyelashes.
*coughs nervously*
Read the directions next time X-Phile. Directions!!!
The tube SAID it was for brown eyes! How was I supposed to know it which it referring to?
Let me try that again…how was I supposed to know which one it was referring to?
Brown eyeS….not eye. Unless your anatomy has been deformed from radiation.
That would explain the contact lens incident, too. Boy is there egg on my face!
You’re lucky you’ve never owned a telescope.
I did once, but I couldn’t get any sound through it.
You need to set the volume to 11.
That’s what was wrong! I had the volume at two, the density at five, and the pressure at two hundred.
Total: 207. Not enough.
*Takes Uranium out of mouth*
Sorry. What?
^clickie^
Forgot clickie!
Here it is.
To make an atomic bomb:
1) Click on the chain reaction tab.
2) Click to have a containment vessel.
3) Click and drag the handle on the containment vessel to expand it. Make sure it is big enough to have 100 U-235 atoms in it.
4) Fire a neutron. To fire a neutron, click the big red button on the gun.
5) Watch as nuclear fission takes place and creates your atomic bomb!
Good luck blinking after use.
wow, tis is gr8!
poor guy indeed but it looks like an already classic to me
cherio
You spelled cheerio wrong.
Yes, but he spelled cherio right.
And that is the cheroot of the problem.
Hey look! It’s a boom mounted whack-boom!
boom headshot
dominating
nominating
denominating
Omnomnomnomnominating
ruminating
puninating
Pwniating
killing spree
Blinded by the light….!
…revved up like a deuce,
another runner into the light.
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was…
Blinded by the light…
THE ILLUMINATI MUST BE INVOLVED!!! GET ME ROBERT LANGLEY!!!
*wakes up with a start*
What? You know, I really wish you people would stop waking me up for these things.
Professor! This is an emergency! You’ve gotta stop the Illuminati before…
*clutches throat and collapses*
*attempts CPR on BFF stunt double*
*fails*
*looks earnestly into camera*
I must fly to Rome immediately, to get…
*BONK!*
OW! Would you mind where you’re going with that bloody camera boom??
*walks into room*
Aw, not again. I take my eyes off these knuckleheads for one second and-
Anyway, you must come with me. There is a plot afoot to injure thousands by putting cameras in their way!
*dresses hurriedly*
*looks suspiciously at cell phone*
Say, this phone has a camera. You don’t suppose…
*accidentally drops camera on foot*
OW!!!
f-ing fix your last name…
please
It’s worse than I thought! These villains are so clever, they’ve even caused me to misspell my own name!
*rushes to airport. *
Robert Langley gets more hits on Google than Robert Langdon!
Wait, then who was I talking to?
*confused look*
Oh well.
You need Dr. who
Robert Langdon
Abstract – I did see your post the other day, sorry if you thought I was blowing you off. For now, I’ll assume you were serious. I’m very flattered, but you should know I’m spoken for. I might add you don’t really know me, and I certainly don’t know you.
So, can we just have fun failing?
*squeeze*
langdon
Oh you have to show from that camera’s view. That would be hilarious…er.
Stop Running Damit, I SAID STOP RUNNING!
I really think that the guy on this video is charlie garcia… a singer from argentina… so this must have been on southamerica …
The vid says “Olympiasieger Simon Amman”.
It’s Simon Ammann, the winner of the 2002 Olympic ski jump contest. And he’s Swiss. And it’s on Swiss National TV. And the announcer says something like: “Het er the Kran ned gseh, läck doch mir am Arsch!” what is just too funny to translate..
The closest I could get was:
“Het he ned gseh the crane, but läck my ass!”
! You! You are familiar! Are you from GU?
What’s GU?
Nothing. What’s G(n)U with you?
*slaps self*
Sorry. I couldn’t restrain myself.
Haha!
.
Oh dang, you just planted an ‘orrible brainworm in my head.. I’m a gnu, how do you do?
Don’t worry, tomorrow’s a gnu day.
“And remember, no gnus is good gnus without Gary Gnu!”
sorry.. you can’t translate that last sentence.. the speaker says ‘he didn’t see the crane’ and then ‘lick my ass’, but it’s a Swiss German expression for..umm.. expressing amazement and disbelief.. and he says it in a very laconic way what actually makes it even more funny…
But trying to explain the ‘funnyness’ took all the fun out of it now… duh
OUCHY!!!!!
~Boom Boom….Out Go The Lights!~
Boom, Boom Owe.
♫ You put the boom-boom into my heart
You send my soul sky high when your lovin’ starts ♫
Boom Boom, ain’t it great to be crazy
Boom boom boom boom
I want you in my room
This would be the 2nd musical cameo from the Blues Brothers today!
Not going to try to embed the video, but it’s in the name clickie if you’re interested.
That is so wrong MRN, I’m never gonna get that song outta my head tonight!!
i would love to see the crane cameras view
Well, we did, for about 5 secs.
My sense of timing is horrible – it was for about 1.5 secs.
I would love to see you capitalising your sentences.
I couldn’t leave without capitalizing on your mistake.
Um…B2th…that’s how it’s spelled in Britain. T’isn’t a mistake. :p
I’m goint to need him to put a disclaimer on all his comments from now on.
British Version:
“going” also.
Fair enough. I hope my humour isn’t affected by this.
Hee…!
Texas Version: shit naw man.
No, tis a man.
Awwww poor dude ><
Really. Both physical and psychological! Ouchie!
i think your vision is failing
its a man
It’s a mog.
Not in here mister! This is a Mercedes!
There’s only one man who would DARE give me the raspberry…
My brains are going into my feet…!
When does this happen in the Failblog?
When the conversation is twisted in some weird way from an idiot failing and getting nailed by a camera to our favorite star wars parody
Is that now, or then?
Now. You’re looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.
Did your Schwartz get twisted?
I bet he gives a great helmet.
fail rating=Legendary phail
Fail o’ meter= fail, phail, epic phail, legendary phail, apocalyptic phail.
same here
You forgot
THE MOTHER OF ALL FAILS.
any register as apocalyptic yet
he was TOO ready for his closeup
See this. Portuguese show, in playback mode.
nhnhnhnhnhnhnhnhnhnh
omg, hahahaha!
there’s a middle eastern version of this
the dude slipped a little and was frozen in front of the camera
Would have been better if he fell a second time!!!
when you fall into a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.
OWNED!!
he is double olympic champion (no joke!)
Fliiiiiiieg Simiiiiiiiiii!!!!
(Fly Simon)
it’s really freaking annoying how u guys think ur so damn funny. everyone has to post a bloody line about something sarcastic or “funny”. you guys really need attention.
If you ever come back to see if there’s a follow-up – If you don’t like the comments, don’t read them!
I, and many others, really enjoy them!
Amen, uncle! I love it when someone like jenn posts such a comment because you KNOW they had to read the comments in order to determine that, in fact, they didn’t like them. Ah, exquisite torture and great irony ~ in one fell swoop!
the guy is Simmon Amman, a swiss skijumper, former olympic gold medalist, so he already knew how to fly….
looks like Ted (keanu reeves) from bill and teds excellent adventure
YeAH SWISS POWA
Got to give him props for getting back up like that after such a huge hit.
And a wonderful swiss accent in the background ! ^^
best one
FACECAM!
Headshot!