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First! wayhay.
you’re the first failure! I’m the second failure!
guess i’m third?
haha!
It seems posting a comment anywhere here results in an immediate failing of life!
I concur!
So you’re saying your life has just failed, Vandor?
Wait… what?
Nice headline County press! Talk about Dog Bites Man! rotflmaof
I am utterly confused by this fail… I supposed it was a default setting printing error? anyone care to explain?
You’re absolutely right. This is probably the default headlines before they write what the real headline is, and they forgot to change it.
I like your name, btw, as I am Japanese.
Hi BFF. I’d forgotten that… are you a Japanese citizen, or dual citizen?
I am officially a Japanese citizen, though I carry a British visa. I’m half and half.
A good friend of mine is of Japanese descent, schooled in England, then worked in Tokyo for many years, then London, then the USA. He owned and operated a hedge fund (he dealt in derivatives), so needless to say, he’s currently unemployed.
He was never fully accepted in Japan, despite looking Japanese and having a Japanese name. I always found that curious.
How interesting. My name sounds quite European, and I look very Western, which is why people are surprised when I tell them I am partly Japanese.
He was once in a bar, having a drink with a couple friends. The people there could tell he was English/American, so one drunk guy starts saying, “Hey! F*ck you!” (in English) and then laughing loudly. Others laughed along. He kept doing it repeatedly. Finally, my friend felt obliged to respond with the same phrase in Japanese. The guy was furious (as were others). My friend almost got his ass kicked. He left and avoided a fight.
Oooh! He’s lucky he didn’t get killed! I’m sure people don’t like it at all when you swear at them in a foreign language, as you don’t know how bad the word is.
Actually, I think I explained that poorly. The guy yelling “f*ck you” was Japanese, and didn’t speak English. My friend was minding his own business and ignored it, but the guy wouldn’t quit. So he returned the favor by saying the same thing, but in Japanese.
Anyway, he actually loved Japan. That was just an anecdote, hopefully not the norm. No disrespect intended!
I’m a copy editor/headline writer. Yes, this is the default text that comes up during the designing process for newspapers. And let me tell you — it’s the fear of copy editors everywhere that we’ll one day forget to write a headline and no one will catch it. This certainly doesn’t happen very often, though.
Seems to me something along the lines of “2-48-2 You forgot the headline!!” would be more effective.
1st, it’s not a default. the default (“dummy text”) won’t typeset, to prevent exactly this kind of thing. this is text a designer entered manually, as instructions to the desk. 2nd, it’s a 2-48-3 (not a 2-48-2, as the designer typed), as there are actually three lines of headline, not two.
hoo says “concur” anymore? get with the century!
please insert comment here please insert comment here please insert comment here please insert comment here please insert comment here
Okay…kay..ay..a
Hee hee he h
*readies the comment*
*coins the phrase*
Pair o’ phrases:
~ if only we had …
~ when he lifted my …
Mornin’ all!
*squeezes my fellow tobloggers in one swell foop*
*squeezes fellow sop*
…a plan.
…dreams.
*morning squeezes*
Is that like tobloggining in winter?
*facepalm*
I have no earthly idea, Doc…but it could be…
Bukkit-worthy?
Accidenty clever? <—*likes this one better*
Maybe we can luge the bukkit and let it slide?
*blinkblink*
*scuffles toe in the snow*
BUKKIT!
*skittles skittles, and straps in for some gen you ine tandem bukkit lugin’* wwooooosssssshHSSSHSHHHHHH!
*hopes she brought the lift pass*
Careful you don’t have an accidenty! I’d hate for a phleblogomist to have to get a blood sample.
The editors of this newspaper were in a tobloggin competition with staff from a rival paper…unfortunately they buried the lead.
ASAS
Ooh, let me try to finish these.
…a hammer.
…skirt.
2-34-1 Troll comment goes here troll comment goes heretroll comment goes here
like ohehmjayy`!
wtf?
this is tragic!
xD
bye losers,!
jk
love da failbloggg
whats the fail…?
yeah… what?
You are both the fail
You’re the fail if you can’t notice the fail.
Fail.
@armanrules and kneeface:
You are the fail if you can’t see the fail. the fail is that it says rubbish not the actual headline. but its no longer a good fail as i had to explain it. FAIL
*I do have a life*
That’s good, but I don’t remember us asking.
That’s because you only just turned up. Fail.
wwwaaaaaa…. everyones taking the mikey…. :*(
Life is for people who can’t do well in internet gaming. I can’t.
No headlines. They forgot to put in the proper headlines but instead left in the rubbish they type to fill space.
ohhhh… I get it
2-78-2 reply goes here relpy gose hrer
Replies will not comment below this nest.
LIES
THE CAKES ARE
the cake czar?
He’s sweet, but quite the tyrant.
the cake tsar?
It is in english
My local paper is terrible and does stuff like that all of the time!
Really? Okay.
Sadly this IS my local paper. xD Its the “Contra Costa County Times” >.<
How sad… I recognize a fail. :<
And just to make sure of the fail they do it twice on 1 page.
There must be a really well stocked drinks cabinet in the editors office to let that page out.
I actually used to work for this paper, and if they are still running it the same way, this actually isn’t that hard to do. There’s so little actual checking between when the designer puts a page together to when it is sent to press. The fail comes from the press floor being so gloriously understaffed.
I hope this person got fired for this.
It is technically the editor’s fault for not noticing before sending it to print so yeah, someone’s local newspaper needs a new editor!
He lost his head.
his mind was somewhere else
she had it in her pocket, he was conscious of that much
*small squeeze – hopes she gets her bear soon*
that would certainly be a heady sensation..
*small furry squeeze*
and wouldn’t lead to a pursing of lips…
*ESP … ‘morning! btw*
and a parsing of sweet words.
*morning to you too*
curtailing her walk with pretty rainbows
*knowing her zebra smells delicious*
And his job.
*admires effort put into name for a single post*
Off with his head!
You mean “Off with his hed!”
‘When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.’
When I take a word, attach it to another, then another, then click a key or three … it is blind faith in luck, that it can be understood at all, and not interpretted at muck!
More nor less
That either!
*snueeze*
*squeeze*
*headdesk*
ow
I’d love to know what you were thinking about when you typed ’snueeze’, as the N is nowhere near the Q (not on my keyboard anyway).
The N’s by the B.
Sbueeze?
Snu snu squeeze?
HAHAHA
*facepalm*
I see what foop did now.
HAHA … and here is me, I was just being rude
Meh! I get that more than I get the comments.
Gesundheit!
I looked! O.o and looked again o.O
*whispers to jam* BTW, do you really know what I did? I don’t.
And thought “oooooh nooooo???’ when I realized I’d *snueezed* poor evan.
I just don’t know anymore, foop.
*squork*
{demi} I just don’t know what’s real anymore
{/demi}
Eggsactly! Sorry, lost my hed.
*squeeze*
And now, off to bed.
*waves*
No more to be said.
*waves*
‘Cept when you see red.
*raves*
Now who’s first to say ‘bed’? Damnit!
*misbehaves*
You were first. I’ll play dead.
*graves*
Damn I’m easily led!
*slaves*
Yes but I made sure you never bled.
*shaves*
You always said you’d wed the bad guy!
*knaves*
The good guys are normally spoon fed.
*faves*
And the bad boys have the true hero cred.
*saves*
They’re usually on strange meds.
*caves*
It’s because you want it so badly.
*craves*
Because I’ve missed it so sadly.
*puffs up all proud, none the less*
It actually happens a lot more often than you would think.
2- hed goes here
48- hed goe sehre
2 – gqy
I like those odds!
Hah. Seconded!
Must have been an X-rated picture.
Too much hed?
Whassat? Huh? Never heard of such a thing!
(Morning! and *squeeze*)
I don’t know. I heard some people say it before but I don’t
giveget it.*squeeze*
Oh, I get it… it’s all give and take.
Of the wurst kind.
A taco awaiting it’s fate?
Not surprised.. with all the budget cuts, the remaining journalists/editors are doing the work of 4 people each.
They are. The editor of my local newspaper now writes half of the articles too. It’s really quite embarrassing as the quality of the stuff he produces is pretty dire. Mind you, most of the people who buy our local paper buy it for a laugh.
I just hunted out an old copy of the paper. This is one of my personal favorites. it was imbedded in the article just like in the fail picture above:
‘James, there is a reference to ‘Leba 3′ being a police dog standard. As far as I can find out it is actually a dental spray. Could Alexa check this please.’
When it comes to SWAT canines a bright smile is very important
Aaaaand bright incisors are important toooo
Three heds are better than one.
Are you a hedhunter?
This is really just a signal for Cthulhu’s army to invade the United States.
Oh noes!
I’ve always found it hard to go past a blueberry muffin.
There is muffin to worry about, muffin at all.
*feelin’ berry blue, ’bout muffin in particular*
We all know where this is heding…
Hell in a hedbasket?
The hedwaters of the mighty Mississip?
Hilton Hed, South Carolina?
No, silly. To the beachhed.
Nope, not there. Nowhere specific, actually. Just hedin’ out . . . —– > there … to go where no man has gone before . . . boldly, even.
i say blame the jews!
Why the jews?
You do realise you’re trying to ask a troll what his/her reason is for being anti-semiitic?
Yeah, that’s stupid! Everyone knows jews eat trolls.
A TROLL?
*jumps a metre*
Jeez, you startled me! No need to shout, I can hear you.
Yes, jo is a troll. Why?
I can’t believe I even talked to one!
Don’t worry, we all do. It’s the way we roll here. Except we only talk to them by means of ripostes, put downs and insults.
Ok, good.
We rolls right over the trolls!
Mornin’ *squeeze(s)*
We rolly do!
Across-the-pond-afternoon *squeeze(s)*
Shame, not coming up for a decent reason for a random trolling. At least make it funny.
…great, now I am starting to troll the trolls.
WEIRD
What a cute dog
Wrong blog chiselchest. -or- How can you tell all you see is hed.
I think he meant to say “What a cute blog.” Like this one, for instance … definitely maybe he did.
gqy
guy quits yanking?
Grapejuice Quells Yerthirst.
“Grapejuice Quells Yerthirst”
.
Guy Quotes You
Gentlemen’s Quarterly Yearning?
Gracious Quantatititive Yoghurts?
*Squeezes jam*
Gettin’ Quim Ya’know.
*Releases jam*
Gigantic Quaggy Yen?
*breathes*
Giant Quails Yodeling?
Good Question, Yukk!
(I feel so old)
Governing Queen Yields
*Gently Quells Yearning*
*Gustily Quaffs Yoghurt!*
*Gives Quite (a) Yodel*
*Garners (a) Quick Yikes!*
*Giggles ~ Quacks ~ Yodels (again)*
I yikes you too.
*Girl Quivvers Yonder?*
Yonder’s too far
(The) Government Quarantined Yellowstone!
Girly Quizmasters Yearning.
‘Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting!’
I must hed off to bed, since no one wants to play.
Too lovely weather out here – sorry.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
*jumps on Aja’s shoulder and enjoys the view with him*
It is lovely!
Let’s hed off…
Flash! Taco goes smoosh.
hed goes where?
maybe it’s welsh
East bay or Wales if you have to cross a bridge it’s all the same.
i don’t get it!
*facepalm*
*gives doody95 an it*
There. Now you have your very own.
Heh. Being the youngest with 2 older brothers, I got the usual abuse from them. Whenever I said “I don’t get it!” they would reply “Then don’t take it!”
Childhood is overrated.
The “hed” is a publishing shorthand for “heading,” so the words you see above each of the stories in this paper are placeholders for the actual headlines or headings that should be there. Apparently, no one replaced the placeholders with headlines and it went to press that way. Fail!
There. Anyone who doesn’t understand the fail should look at sillywhiskers’ comment.
Or J… all the way up there! ^^
(Afternoon BFF)
Which one do you mean, m’lady?
(Afternoon Jam. Looking forward to a good old British bank holiday?)
4:02
It’s chance to be raining (as usual on BH) so I’ve been out today trekking. Yourself?
*squeeze*
Ah, I see.
Yes, but at least there’s going to be a sunny weekend! I have my half term holiday! YAY!
But I have some Geog. coursework. ARGH!!!
In that case, you should crack on with it instead of being easily distracted on here. Tut tut! *wags finger*
hehe :p
Aah, I’ll procrastinate. I have a whole damn week!
Anyhoo, I might go see that new Night at the Museum film.
2-56-2 comment goes here coment gose hrer
lol fail
someone got fired for that!
Coment goes here comment goes here
HAHHAA fail
Loren Ipsat would enjoy those headlines.
love it
Double fail: The top hed is spec’d wrong. Should be 2-48-3.
fail
It says nice children in Contra Costa have tested positive for the virus. I wonder if “head goes here” refers to their heads.
im just trying to make random faces
;D 
:B :1 0o
-_-
:U :C ” :/
:\ :l
=) :> :<
¡ɯopuɐɹ sı sıɥʇ ¡dɐɹɔ ʎloɥ
What’s a “hed” ?
This is the way my newspaper usually looks like when I’m reading it while riding the bus to work. Now, I admit it’s always a challenge to keep my eyelids more than half open because sweet Morpheus keeps calling me.
=(
#147
Poor San Jose Mercury News. Usually, they are a decent, well designed paper, but s*** does happen every once in a while in the newsroom…
-Masege goes hear- -Massage geos her-
–comments goes here–
Hmm they seriously should replace the keyboard
Oh my god, this is MY county’s paper!!!!!!!! :O
Anyone want some lolnuts? They’re freshly picked
Imposter! Not going to clicky this one, nuh huh!
Nice try. Now please move along.
Pfft. Not REALLY a nice try. Rather a lame try, actually.
Clickie clickie!
For Chrissake, what is wrong with these people?
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, BFF.
Or so they say. I’ve always wondered about that, actually.
There are too many things wrong with them to count. But, you have been singled out for this type of attention. So in a weird sort of way, you are now “famous”.
I said it was in a weird sort of way.
Maybe they’ll get tired of monkeying around.
I can’t bear it any longer.
Ignore them. They’re a bunch of Baloosers!
Blue, Baloo?
See what happens when you don’t dispose of your stunt doubles. Dragon, maybe you could turn up the heat?
my face actually kinda does look like a knee….
my mom dropped me as a baby…
wait… When did we start talking about faces looking like knees? I think I missed something while reading all the other oodles of crap on this blog (all in good fun) god I love Failblog. Makes my day every time I check it out.
I think that the newspapers tried to get some attention to that headline by making it really weird.
hey…..this is my county’s newspaper….i dont remember reading this…
Page 14C the next day: “Classified Ads: Hiring Competent Proofreader, Position Available Immediately”
Not a chance. Massive layoffs are what made this happen in the first place.
(Yes, I am an overworked newspaper copy editor, why do you ask?)
As a copy editor/headline writer, the headline that printed is a holder, and the editor forgot the headline. The reason there are gibberish words is that when the copy editor does a spell check, those words will pop up and, hopefully, be changed.
This problem doesn’t happen often. But what can I say, some nights there are not enough people on the desk at my paper, and things slip. Every paper makes headline errors.
As a copy editor/headline writer, the item that dangled is a participle, and the editor blew it.
wow. that’s pretty embarrassing considering that’s my local paper. -_-”
Some coding went wrong, in the format they probably made a mistake. It is not a big deal.
That’s what I think – it was probably a Software Fail
I like your dog.
Header goes here?
the only typo i’ve seen in a newspaper was in the obituaries : some lady was born on “Aapril 222, 13942″ that was the exact thing typed on there.
I have the same birthday!
Vagina
Faaail.
lol you would have thought that they would at least look at the paper before publishing it, stoopid beavers!
Oh no, what has the Bay Area become?
criss arreter de vous raconter votre vie!!! c pour poster un commentaire pas pour nous emmerder avec vos vie tabarnak!!!!!
What newspaper in this? The Contra Costa Times?
I wish i had good grammar skills like the editor.
5-25-9 Rhete ghomsi koluva ereth noes
Does anyone know the date these headlines were published? Thanks.
Yeah – it’s just like the Tracy Press – written by high school and college students!!
ROFL, who would be retarded enoughg rto mesioepr upp newspeopre liek 40tq34u90t4u
Lol. I live in contra costa county
Yeah, I was hoping someone would recognize the paper…
Last!
WTF??? XD
Screw you!
Last.
Last FAIL.
Nice try.
Last. Damnit.
Anyone know what newspaper this is? I see “Bay Area” and “Contra Costa County”
so i’m thinking it is a San Francisco bay area newspaper?
O.k, I’m going to try yet again. (rolls eyes)
LAST.
Lol, any idea what this is supposed to say?
not me. I’m wondering the same thing. Maybe it some kind of code….. rofl))))))))
I promise you, the guy that is responsible for the last “readover” before the paper goes in to the mill, had sex on the office, så he just typet “fasfiuehr” as an gesture of his sex act:P
Here’s the paper’s website:
http://www.contracostatimes.com/
Beyond the heading, did anyone begin to read the article? The mini-headline or whatever reads “Nine Children in Contra Costa have tested probable for virus”
Probable? That’s a great test there. (fail)
also, ya’ll are hilarious.
photoshop fail …
Hello
İn WeLcOmE
Hello me is deaf of in there have
wow. so random. o-o
I have that Newspaper, ROFL, California fails, I can’t wait to move!
Welcome to Moonside.
Wel come to moo n si de.