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Cheezburger Company Blog
Well, let’s try it again today.
Don’t post any new links, start any political arguments, use marginal swear words, or do anything else that might cause us to await moderation.
Oh, if you want, light a candle – just don’t put it above your PC/Mac.
.
OK, so what do we have here? Looks like a compact or 2 to me.
Hummers are compact in their own way. To prove logically that hummers are not compact, you’d need to assume that ‘not being compact’ is a trivial property peculiar to hummers. And that is obviously false, since ‘not being compact’ is not analytical but empirical predicate.
Good morning!
OMG! You really are Sartre!
“Hey honey, come here and see this!”
if it can fit into those compact slots then they are compact
Seems logical, but in that case you’ll have to test if it fits to determine whether your car is compact. I guess the owner of this hummer did that
BIG FRIGGIN JERK!!! >:(
agreed
HUMMERS KILL POLAR BEARS T^T
Well, it is a compact in the way that it can “compact” compacts.
*touches Arthur Eld*
You can’t touch this! *points*
*Touches jam*
What’s the flavour today?
Raspberry. Only one man would dare give me the raspberry … Lone Star!
give me paw!
They’ve gone to plaid!
Great I’m surrounded by A$$hole$
Grandma?
*tastes medicine*
*awaits moderation*
*moans (a bit)*
a moaning contest is it then?
*moans like a world class yodeler on her honeymoon*
♪ You say you want a reply button
Well, you know
We just want to nest our post
You tell me not to paste and cut in
Well, you know
We all love to pun the most
.
But when you talk about turducken
Don’t you know that you can count me out.
Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right
all right, all right
.
.
You say we’ve failed the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to FOOM your head
You tell me it’s potato juice, son
Well, you know
It’s really Baconlube™ instead
.
But if you go linking to pictures of chairman Mao
You ain’t going to post it to anyone anyhow
Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right
all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
all right, all right, all right! ♪
OMG! You really are John Lennon!
“Hey honey, come here and see this!”
BRILLIANCE! I’m in awe
*awes all dreamy like*
If case the reply button will go missing again, we know who to blame. In case it won’t, we still have Jaspers’ Schuldfrage, so we will know who to blame anyway.
Yeah, just continue to ignore the categoric imperative.
Kant was a cünt :p
WAS NOT, WAS NOT!
Every english speaking person will prove you wrong with the very utterance of his name! It would almost seem as an a priori identity.
Using that logic allows every German to prove that Poe actually was an ass.
Indeed, that is the beauty of it. Nomen omen. When I think of Hegel, ‘logic’ and ‘Germans’ just do not fit into one sentence.
*offers “est”*
*thanks Arthur*
*kindy refuses ‘est’*
Latin can omit ‘esse’ in these cases.
I’ll get back to you on that as soon as I learned Latin.
I notice the philosophy majors are up at 3 a.m. posting on failblog, proving beyond a doubt that philosophy = unemployed.
Because every person who speaks English lives in the same timezone?
Yes, and we all have the same phone numbers that start with “555.” Don’t you ever watch movies?
No, TV is the devil! I just watch the fire. We don’t believe in electricity where I’m from!
♪ Who was very rarely stable ♪
That drinking song is the only way I can know how to pronounce some of these guys’ names.
emanuel kant and walt disney, so who will?
If this Hummer guy has any guilt, it must be strictly metaphysical.
Guilt, conscience and Hummers do not go in the same sentence.
Unless the word ‘not’ is used in that sentence.
Inherent fasification? Yery metaphysical!
*V. Bukkit!
Well, now we’ve moved on to Bertrand Russell (I think).
Russell hated metaphysics.
Guilt, conscience and hummers – if you would give Macbeth or Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment a little twist, we could eventually get there!
My post replies to Fluffy’s syntactical paradox, BTW.
My WHAT????
Y’know, you made a sentence using 3 words that you said can’t go in the same sentence. Whatever you call that…
Irony, maybe?
Alanis Morissette screwed up the definition of irony for me forever.
Then it must be hypocrisy.
Nonsense.
Stuff and nonsense!
This is all bunkum!
Pish and fibsy!
Quatsch!
Balderdash and piffle!
Absolute Tosh
Codswallop
Humbug.
Jabberwocky! (one of my personal favourites!)
Gibberish
Tomfoolery!
Twaddle
Fiddle faddle.
Bah! Poppyc**k!
A pox upon you! I typed the word out and it is awaiting moderation.
Heh! So did I!
Malarkey!
Claptrap
Hogwash!!!
Well in that case you were spot on
i would never give MacBeth a twist, he was a mean phuquer
like Bush’s
Good Morning.
shut up!
It’s twice as compact.
go hummer
Go humm ‘er. Hehe.
♪Good good good
Good vibrations♪
i just turn the computer on and i get a new fail
Failblog stores them on your hard drive – you thought it was just cookies, didn’t you?
Oh, and leave it on all day so we don’t lose the reply button again, OK?
But don’t think any political thoughts.
That’s like saying “don’t think about a green elephant”. Impossible.
Very true Arthur. Are you applying Husserl’s theory of intentional stance of consciousness?
Nope. Just foolin’ around.
*only took Philosophy 101 in college*
Aaaah! My brain hurts! How do I know that any of you even exist? I think Sartre is a figment of my imagination. Cogito ergo sum.
if u would splitt it in half, there’s 2 compacts……
What a jerk!
theres some sexual innuendo there…
What, with the hummer?
I once read about a guy who got arrested because neighbors called the police when he shagged his car. The exhaust pipe, to be precise.
That must really have BLOWN.
♪ I’m in love with my car… ♪
♪ I want to ride my bicycle.. ♪
Stop that silly smile or I’ll mount the saddle again!
*adds shagging to list*
(confident) SHAGGING WURST!
After being gone for so long, I’m curious as to what the list is. Is it related to the reply button vanishing at times?
Go to the bottom and work your way up to Arthur’s comment. It’s indeed about the reply button issue.
WURST SHAGS BOTTOM.
The wurst bottom shags you ever had?
*adds to list*
I would like to give you more details, but it would involve using a lot of latin words that are definitely on the list.
Sorry, couldn’t resist the novelty of nesting! Wheeeeee!
*adds wheeee chaiair to list*
♪ Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right ♪
Urban you clever this morning.
*squeezes the sweet-tart*
♪ Stuck in the middle with you.. and Czuhc ♪
*squeeze*
Here I am!
*squeeze*
A squeeze? Yay!
*quickly jumps into squeeze*
GAH!
Taste your own medicine! HAH!
Wheeeeee! Welcome back.
*squeeze*
HEHE… Well you started out with nothing.
I don’t know why I came here tonight. err… this morning.
It’s mah epic 2 flipped halves of da same car… conjoined… lol.
I’m sorry. I thought you said something about cojones.
I thought he said something about conjoined cojones.
Sounds painful. Don’t they have surgery for that or something?
You can have them snip-snipped apart, I think.
I know of this great summer school…
No, but they make special pants for those people.
I wonder if they make special bar stools too…
The husband and wife had a fight and aren’t talking to each other.
I bet the hubby DROVE her crazy!
I bet their life took a TURN for the worst!
You’re all giving off the wrong signals.
I’m too exhausted to think of anything else.
Maybe they’re thinking of braking up.
That wheely makes me sad.
Oh don’t be sad. This will allow their life to get in gear, instead of being stalled.
*wipes tears away*
*clutches Czuhc while he’s teary*
Given where they’re parked, should be easy to make-up though.
I thought that was usually done at traffic lights?
If the lights green you make-out, not make-up.
Ah, I suppose it depends on how many are in the car, if a lady is by herself, she tends to do her makeup when the lights are red…and after they turn green…you can’t stop halfway you see.
You’re suggesting she has to change her make-up to match with the lights?
No, she has to finish one eye/lips/whatever, before she can move on again. Usually one part is done at each set of lights.
So she has to plan her route to match traffic lights to facial features?
If she gets diverted only one eye gets make-up?
Probably, I’m not sure, i tend to put on all my makeup before I leave.
I just use crayons when I get to work.
Eye liner up with the rearview mirror, it’s easier that way.
Get rid of the rear view mirror.
Butt butt butt, I like the view of her rear
*faces away from Moomin and wiggledances*
Rear-ly! What a carry-on.
*carries on*
Arse’veral people looking or just you Moomin?
I pushed my luck and am awaiting moderation.
Oh noes…. Here we go again.
At least we can blame someone else when it goes Pete Tong.
Sorry, taxonomy fail.
Let’s break things.
Parkin’ in the parking lot? Steamy.
This must be one of those new ‘splitting cars’ or whatnot.
(Yes, I’m back. (Though no one probably noticed i was gone
))
Don’t cry, it’s welcome back day!
Welcome back!
Did we have a lot of fun together, you know, before your absence?
From what I remember, I don’t think we’ve met yet.
So hi.
So nobody noticed you were gone, but you made a new friend the day of your return? Could have been worse!
Hi!
The wurst is yet to come.
*squeeze*
CAT!
Are we still allowed to say wurst? Or does it depend on the size of the wurst?
*squeeze*
Let’s see… is the “reply” button still here? I guess it is, so you can say wurst.
*adds “wurst” to list of approved words*
Can you please give me the complete list?
Sure, here’s a link to a site that has ‘em…. ooops, close one!
The list is not complete yet, Arthur. There are more words that need to be tested, like BaconLube, potato and wunderboner.
Woohoo!
I volunteer to test out the word “brains”.
.
BRAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
.
Obviously some of you living folk are offended by that, enough that you’ve sworn off using any for the rest of your lives.
.
Say, are you done with that? I’d sure like to eat it …
It’s the tasty ones I go for, not size.
The big ones ARE the tastiest … oh, you mean something else.
.
BRAAAAIIIIIIIIINS!!!!!!!!
This vehicle deserves key scrapes…
Although I gotta admit, when the name for the vehicle came out, I was, like, “Damn it, why ruin a perfectly good term with a gas guzzler?”
HAHA.. good one.
Roofing tacks behind the front tyres sounds like a better idea to me…*evil grin*
Nah…. those tires are so thick the tacks won’t do any good.
Don’t ask me how I know this.
You are a rectum (word test!). No vehicle deserves key scrapes, only their owners do.
The best part (IMO) has to be the ute to the left which has tried to be just a tiny bit more honest… ^^
Sorry I’m late. What did I miss?
98 previous posts.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Yes, I see…I just didn’t really want to read them right now.
hmmmm. I think you might like Hawaiian Style
WIN
Of course.
No fail. It’s closed and bounded, hence compact.
That’s not quite what compact means!
1. Closely and firmly united or packed together; dense: compact clusters of flowers.
-Hollow bit in the middle.
2. Occupying little space compared with others of its type: a compact camera; a compact car.
-Just no.
3. Brief and to the point; concise: a compact narration.
-Maybe? I don’t think so though!
4. Marked by or having a short solid physique: a wrestler of compact build.
-Again, no.
Mathematical definition used in topology.
‘Every closed interval in R of finite length is compact. More is true: In Rn, a set is compact if and only if it is closed and bounded’
*squeeze* Math geeks, FTW!
That’s only for cities and stuff, isn’t it? (not sure what topology is exactly, something to do with geography of cities?)
GV, give up now! HAHAHA
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
You doughnut!
*wanders the blog, lost*
What is topology? Just for my future reference.
My understanding of it relates to surface geometry but I believe there are many different aspects of topology. I’m absolutely positive Aja and Moomin know more than I do.
Topology is the study of topological spaces and the continuous functions between them.
The application of incorrect criteria is what makes it fun!
That‘s okay then, as long as it’s fun!
*feeds mouse cheese*
*feeds grouse peas*
*feeds spouse sleeze* (consensual only, promise!)
*feeds house trees*
That definition only applies to R^n. A typical general definition:
A set S in a topological space is compact if and only if every open cover of S has a finite subcover. I’m not quite sure how you’d apply this to an SUV, but I think it reasonable to suppose that since the SUV is composed of finitely many particles, it can be represented by a finite, and hence compact, set.
*pinches gaynorvader on the nose*
Naughty, naughty.
I hope that wasn’t a typo!
*eyes u and i on the keyboard speculatively*
I wasn’t trying to be naughty, just give a coherent reason why I thought Aja had drawn an incorrect hypothesis.
[/whispers] Aja is very wise and not to be questioned. [/whisper]
Oh noes! Oh yes; I pinched you. Heh
I see, in that case; Aja, forgive my foolishness!
*pat pat pat*
*offers cookie*
Have a cookie, and all will be better.
Never mind, it was all a bit obscure anyway.
it’s a win not a fail ! ;D
It’s definitely a courtesy fail at the very least.
Definitely a Win!
This is a blatant display of douchebaggery.
That is one hummer of parking job. Morn all.
OK, I see the returned REPLY BUTTON.
But would someone explain the theory of why it left us?
And what is all this about a List and Moderation?
Shhhhh .. they are watching us and listening to us. Just hum
and go about your business. (notice how I brought the fail into
the comment that requires skill ) Some can’t. LOL
Whenever someone posted a link recently, the comment was invisible to all, except the one who posted it. A little note said “This comment awaits moderation”. Mostly people (including myself) who posted the link replied to it as well (“Why is my comment awaiting moderation?”). This second comment was visible for everyone else, but it appeared to be at the bottom of the page (the poster saw it where it was supposed to be). Now, when somebody else responded to the second comment the nesting problems started.
.
If you think this was complicated, just wait and see:
After the “moderation” the whole thread suddenly appeared to be normal – comment with link, own response, further replies that were randomly at the bottom of the page before. Everything was good… but only very briefly. Then, without any further reason, the whole blog disintegrated, the reply button went on vacation and hence the horrible result you saw yesterday.
THANK YOU!
Now I understand, (kinda), and are less cormfused!
Please ask someone closer to you than I to pat you on you back or hug you in my absence.
I’m still confused, but you living folk do that to me all the time.
Maybe the owner thought the word “COMPACT” meant that these spaces were a pickup point for scrap cars destined to be compacted, and parked his SUV there in a fit of social responsibility.
Bravo!
huzzah and such
seems like the kind of jerk I would key as I pass by.
People like you are hilarious. Why don’t you key your president’s car until he signs Kyoto or anything similar. That would do a lot more good than banning hummers.
There are a lot of people like you in the US who just like to be able to do something while complaining about it. In order to do this you attack the wrong target, this way it looks like you are complaining but it doesn’t achieve anything.
Another example of this type of behavior is the invasion of Irak: people say they are against the war, but instead of taking it on the politicians they put the blame on the soldiers who were sent there. Fortunately this isn’t as bad as it was with Vietnam.
Key a few hummers if you like, but it certainly won’t change anything to global warming.
What Country are you from that makes your system and ideals so much better? I’m serious, i want to know so i can move there and hopefully learn to be half as smug as the master here.
And wtf, how do you compare someones aggreived responce to total disregard with a nations war? It’s a bit of a stretch.
I don’t think he has anything against hummers, just the double parking.
I think what the world needs is more idiots who have nothing more to do than profess at taking some kind of politically-motivated offense at everything anyone can say. Thanks for being there for us.
Of course the pickup truck in the spot next to him isn’t that much better.
My instinct is to point out the fact that those parking spots are impossible for anything larger than an MG Midget to fit into, but you’ve already proven that you are a rectum (previous post about keying cars) and my amazing sense of brains senses nothing around you. My kind would starve in your presence.
.
*wanders off, moaning something about BRAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINS!!!!*
There are other spots that aren’t compact; no parking lot I know of is made up of entirely compact spots. They allocate part of the lot for compact spaces because you can fit more total cars in the lot.
Oh, and if you can’t fit in a non-compact spot, your car shouldn’t be on the road. It’s probably too big for one lane, too.
jerk win
This reminds me of a comic: http://xkcd.com/562/
Certainly a win!
That is not fail, that is win!!
compact fail….Douchebag Win
you stole it from me, waaahhh
I say it’s a douchebag WIN
I agree…. or @sshole win.
what a prick
ignorant jerk!
i think hes going to need those 2 spaces if you know what i mean
But this is a “Compact Win”
http://www.jasonbock.net/JB/Default.aspx?blog=entry.e82ebb9699c24e2580084af811710fc2
what a douchenozzle
the guy who owns that hummer (and yes it is a guy) like balls (in his mouth)
also the guy in the pickup truck to his left.
LOL WUT <D
this belongs on FUH2.com
Hmmm….
Egging, key scraping, and letting the tires out should do the trick.
But wear a mask because I hear those Humjobs have cameras near the sideview mirrors.
I say Win.
Exactly. Hummer Win!
This guy is gonna end up in hell.
Who ever posts nexts iz GAY
Also HUMMERS ARE FUEL GUZZULIN PIECES OF AMERICAN CRAP LIKE EVERY OTHER AMERICAN CAR!
My Mustang was getting 30 mpg when it was 10 years old. And Mustangs really are American-made, not imported and then fancied up with a Ford, GM, or Chrysler logo. Unfortunately, it was totalled by some assclown in Chevy who never even slowed down. God, I miss that car.
o hai failbloggers xD
Typical SUV driver. Those monstrosities should be abolished.
Well, it doesn’t *look* like a Washington State license plate, but it’s like that here too. Anything smaller than the short bus is considered compact.
But can I rest my balls on it?
to the H owners out there- do this around me and you’re getting a door kicked in- just fair warning, i got a lot of practice with fenders and such as a messenger in NY- livery drivers can eat it! -trying to run me off the road….
The whole “we need special compact car parking spaces” concept is a fail – in europe every parking space is a “compact” car space. Ergo all american cars are just to big :p
i hate douchebags who are so oblivious to the definition of “compact” and/or the fact that their car isn’t of that size.
I think this deserves WIN status
Well, that Hummer probably constitutes two dorky little compact cars in mass/volume/fuel consumption, so what this driver has done is completely logical. . .
And just because your car is a tiny little tin can doesn’t mean you’re allowed to key Hummers. . . Obviously a vehicle this size requires two spaces. See supplied photo evidence XD
he’d get his whole hummer fcked up doing this type of sh*t round me, even tho my car aint compact. but i deal with asshats like this everyday at work
Compact: Every open cover has a finite subcover.
Why do you people never have anything worthy to say instead you post inane stupid comments that dont relate to the subject.
losers…
i’m very very pro life but this person should be killed three times.
that is a HUMMER win!
Kinda proves what I thought about the owners of a Hummer…
*Watches everybody frantically try to rationalize Hummers, and, waaaait for it…FAIL*
“Dude this car kicks ass! And I can watch Madagascar while I’m driving!”
Hummer win!
Nice Hummer.. sorry about your penis
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT TOTAL….. HUMMER OWNAGE
thats bam margeras hummer actually…..
Thats not a fail
THATS A WIN!!!