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O RLY??
pfft… What do doctors know…
I’ll show them…
**holds breath**
Most?! Who the hell are the docs that DISagree?!?!
That would be the Fail part.
Kosemose … breathe already!
He’s turned purple! BREATH DAMNIT!!!
I like the new colo(u)r.
I like your very thoughtful brackets! (:))
Smiley FAIL!
You must be spacey. (
)
Thanks!
)
*Squeeze*
It all makes sense now! (
I just re-read that. I’m not trying to be sarcastic if that’s how it appears!
Putting your .002 ¢ worth in is always a gamble.
Is that .02 cents or .02 dollars?
I believe the correct response would be ‘0.002 cents or 0.002 dollars?’
¢? They still make that symbol? Where’d you dig that one up?
I’m going on strike with Koosemoose. Since when have doctors known best anyway?
*holds breath*
The ones who *don’t* breathe regularly. Unfortunately, they weren’t available for comment.
Well, I guess Koosemoose is dead, isn’t he…*holds breath*
The blonde ones would.
Well to the medical illiterate world…breathing regular means not having abnormal patterns such as Kaussmal respirations (rapid short shallow breaths) normal Pulmonary functions tests (FVC) etc….they are taking for granted that people aren’t idiots when they read something like that, probably a mistake on their part
You win the thread pal. Was looking for someone to point this out.
Lol you being sarcastic there? The article would have been great if the title was “Breathing everyday is Better for your health” or something along that lines
wow
Which Outraged Witch?
White Over Wheezing?
Wish Or Weep!
Wide Open Wotsit?
weird old willy
Welcomeback, Old Weirdo!
Wanton Overt Wildman!
World of Warcraft!
Woah. Ogre world…
Wantsta Obliterate Wankers ^^
C-C-COMBOBREAKER!!!!
wierdos or wankers?
Plugging Ass must be angry.
You wouldn’t like the ass plug when it’s angry.
Infected hemmorhoids? Nasty.
I hear you should also eat at least once a week.
I heard that taking a shit every now and then is also healthy.
Where am I supposed to take it to?
Depends. Cinema is alright, candlelight dinners are better. No bungee jumping!
And after a year or so, you better be prepared to get serious or move on.
otherwise they’ll “dump” you?
IN SOVIET RUSSIA… forget it.
The chairman of the campaign against “Soviet Russia” jokes thanks you.
*whispers* in soviet russia jokes campaign against you.
Just don’t take one of mine. I only have 2 left.
*Gives a breath of fresh air*
If that is not too forward! Sorry.
GO ZACH GO! The Kindle is yours!
Got to start breathing, then… damn! i was getting used not to breath, already…
I like to breathe on a daily basis. More people should do it!
And what the hell is with this new failblog, I’m not sure if I like it or not…
You will. No more 300-barrier!!! Welcome back!
Oh thank dog for that! I think the last time I was here it was the 200 limit, that sucked.
That’s troll blood in my red pen
It’s feeling neglected; I haven’t had a chance to use it recently… so watch your back.
I think it’s happy though, because I’m considering a career in copy-editing. Seriously. (Don’t tell dragon, she’ll laugh at me.)
Wut??!?!? lulz iz PHOTOSHOPPED!!11!!!!1!!
*awaits correction*
*scribbles all over Arthur Eld’s comment*
Ahhhh, that feels much better, thanks
Dang, I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.
No wonder I’ve felt so light-headed lately!
I thought my fingers were tingling because I was magic
I’m sure you can work some magic with those hands though
MR. CUDDLES!!! How are you buddy?
*squeeze*
Gah! I just say your comment MMC!!
…and that’s not your finger that’s tingling now…
*headdesk* Just ’saw’ your comment!
*squeeze*
*squeeze* I’m good. Excited and nervous. How are you?
Nervous? Ah, because of this new pandemic that devastates Ireland since two days?
*squeezes my bb*
Ready to fly to the Irish (Rugby team), my darlin’?
*squeezes Mr. Cuddles*
You’re going to have a blast!!!
Mr Cuddles, come to Belfast!
I am extremely ready! I just have a few last minute things to pack when I get home from work and then I’ll be off to the airport.
*big group squeeze*
Hope the weather’s good for you! It’s been very changeable the last few days.
Gaynor, you are from Ireland? I always knew you were awesome…
Born and Bred! Hehe thanks!
Yeah the weather here has been pretty funky… I mean moreso than usual for Ireland. We had thunderstorms yesterday and today the sun is shining.
Most?
*squeeze*
*sighs and shakes head at the other two after you*
You got the timing, Arthur!
Hehe! Enjoy the moment, in about an hour there will be
blood20…They probably read it as ‘Oblivious Fail.
Morning!
*squeeze*
I think you might like Molokai Slide
Pervert!
Wait what?!
Just kidding! Not very funny though…
*squeeze*
Morning!
*squeeze*
I was actually thinking about what I said.
Don’t mind me I’m alittle drunk right now.
But what I meant to say was what you said got me thinking about what I said and I thought I may have said something the made you think that.
That instead of the /\
Bukkit please.
Pleadin’ with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day
You got mud on your face…
.
Hehe.
♪I’m a BIG disgrace…♪
I’ll check it out.
or Hawaiian Style I think.
I’d love to read that research.
(first?)
I don’t think you would be the first to read it.
unless you are under water.
I knew, I did something wrong.
i like the fact it says most doctors not all
All those years gasping and wheezing irregularly…. WASTED!
i very rarely breathe and it’s ok…think this study is not well researched!
“Regularly” could mean once a month…
Yeah, we need more information here.. did they have a control group? How many people did they have in this study? Did they use a placebo? I’m not accepting these results until I know all the facts.
They had a control group. Tragic…
*roffles*
*whistles and looks innocent*
*offers another ShamWow*
*cleans up her act*
*catches jam in the act*
*quickly hides the ET finger and the ‘cum and eat’ contact card*
*shakes head, leaves to “Big Dick’s Halfway Inn”*
They were buried in a cemetary which was a playground at the same time. The kids dug ‘em out.
Arthur, did you at least video it?
Pay $39.99 and find out for yourself…
Tsk! You said you it was free for the masses. Where’s my share?
Right there!
*points behind jam*
*runs away while she turns around*
*shakes fist as Arthur flees*
Don’t you worry, I’ll get you! I have a cunning plan. hehehe
I’ve got 86′000′000 Ugandan dollars.
(though that’ll only come to about 1 Euro and three cents!)
Is that USD? Cause I’d like a copy of that…
You can get this lap dance here for free!
*laptop dances*
Is that a Mookie-Only offer or can anyone get in on it?
Offer applies to all things pink and holey.
Like the new pimppope?
Well… Better start breathing then… What is that? Any sport? Something to do with sex (hope it is…) How can I do that? Is it very difficult?
Oh my… please someone help me!!!
Who cares what the docter says anyway, I haven’t been to the docter’s in like 800 years.
I’d love to see the candles on your next birthday cake.
You did, on the news. They called it “Australian bushfires”
It’ll have 9000. (clickie)
*hands Oh Naaah an ‘over’.*
Oh…yeah you’re right.
It’s understandable, Naaah, at your age I’m surprised you can even remember your own name let alone your age.
Wait…What’s goin on here? Where I’m I?
My doctor advise me to breath one time the morning and one time before go to bed. This article frightens me now.
Where’s the truth ?
Good morning everyone from a new member of this neighborhood.
Newbie count: 3. Welcome!
Not including mee, right?
Youu? You’re not that new anymore.
And *squeeze*.
*squeeze*
[In an old man voice]
Ahhh thank you, but I feel old now.
There are more and more new people here every time I return
I feel lost now… friends? Where are you?
Hopefully I can get caught up now though, because I FINISHED MY DEGREE TODAY!!!
*cracks out larger than usual whiskey bottle*
*celebrates with Loz*
YAY! Whoo-hoo!
At least you met me once or twice… Therefore:
WOOHOO! Congrats!
Yay, people I recognise! Dance with me, guys
Did you remember the Wolf Blass??
*grooves*
Hahaha, how on earth do you remember that? That was ages ago… and no, wine has started to give me really bad hangovers out of the blue
Awww…well… Whiskey it is!
*hands-out party hats!*
*dances*
can i dance?
*dances with Loz and the gang*
We’re gonna rock, around, around the clock tonight!
♬ Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s …um, 2009. ♬
Hey Loz! *squeeze!*
Wow! Congrats, a big achievement! Just in time too…Mr Cuddles hits the deck tomorrow!!!
Perfect timing! Yeah, it’s a big achievement, can’t believe it’s over. Now the waiting game to see how I did…
How’ve you been? And everyone else round these parts?
*channel’s the FB Queen*
Hi Loz! Congrats! What will you do with yourself now??? *hugs*
Hey Mookie
*hugs* I don’t know what I’ll do with myself now… might take a year out and travel, or maybe just look for a job. I have no idea, feels weird having no direction 
How’re you and your lovely partner Ryannon?
Haven’t you been on Myspace recently? I’m living in sin with Lou in Madrid.
I haven’t been on myspace… what have I missed?! You’re in Madrid with Lou?!
Yes! I am “keeping house” for him like a proper woman (he he). And to think, it all started on FB…
How are things with your honey? Is she finished up, too?
That is so adorable! And weirdly similar to my own situation!
How long are you there for? Madrid is nice but Barcelona is better
Things are good with her, although we’re still trying to convince the government to let her stay in the country, lol.
Congrats! I won’t bite, don’t mind the shotty shells, though
Congrats!
Yaaay – good for you, Loz!
*feels left out*
Or me!
*includes*
Welcome! Although you’re also not that new.
Hello, CartoonPiranha!
Welcome!
(Let’s throw a party here and now for all n00bs (-trolls!)
Thank you!
*squeeze*
What should I bring to the party?
Potatos, ShamWows and BaconLube. I’ll bring the beer.
The N00bs butter prepare themselves!
Initiation can be painful…
Yes, I should know.
I don’t, but if it involves BaconLube then I probably don’t want to.
It does…
Wee, initiations again??
*grabs E.T. finger*
Have you seen the “jam wow” video on youtube?
He made it! He’s spying on me.
Who’s spying on you? Want me to beat them up for you? Assuming I can find them of course.
No. What’s that?
Ok… I lied then!
Somebody hacked my computer an got access to the jamcam? Call the poice! …on second thought…
Lets hope they can figure out how to set up a ‘pay as go’ page.
^you
*sigh*
Arthur, your spy-cam network is getting frighteningly large. If you keep this up, I’m going to have to release that video of you shagging a sheep.
Of course, you’d probably enjoy that…
Pff, you can rent that at any video library!
That’s why all those sheeps wait for me outside my house!
Look it up. I would put it on my name as a clickie but I have another that I want others to see.
Ok, here. It might not be as good as the slap chop one, but it is pretty good.
A few bukkits might be helpfull also!
3 plus the number of letters in ‘welcome’ makes it 10.
Good morning, and welcome!
FABULOUS advice
I still prefer to binge breathe.
Selfish lushes, aren’t we?
*Stands up*
Hello, My name is Marie
and I’m a compulsive breather.
we got a live one here!
Breathers are so conformist!
Breathing is overrated.
Rating is overrated.
Berating is overrated.
Ughhh. My ex girlfriend’s name was Marie.
I fukin hate that bitch…
*gives ONTU a Marie biscuit*
there there
Ok I’ll guess I’ll eat it one more time.
Dang! I’m just losing all over the
place with my names.
*slinks off to a corner and weeps.*
It’s not you. I’m sorry, it’s just that…she was…I don’t know…she just left all of a sudden.
Finish your biscuit and just think of me as
boobie trap.
too much soggy Marie biscuit?
eeewww
Oooh. I like boobies.
Then we’re good!
Pirate Boob sounds like a condition.
Maybe. Or a First Mate.
*inserts joke about buccaneers*
Well take heart…you know I’m just rapt. that your name is an anagram of Pirate Boob!
*Squeals n hugs*
Arrrrgggghh!!!
*covers parrots eyes*
*small change to feel less lopsided.*
Well, I can’t read the text of the article, but obviously it’s referring to controlled (“regular”) breathing, which is good for mental and physical health, along with proper posture, etc.
Context Fail. >.>
Man, I was doing the exact opposite of what the doctors reccomend
Are they related to the “4 out of 5 dentists”?
The fifth dentist chose to not breathe regularly.
phew i have been doing it gooder then.
*shudders*
Pass the Bukkit!
♪ On the left hand side♪
puke puke pass?
Ahahaha.
Rofl.
Mornin eagle. May I ask you a serious question? What’s your first language?
morn Arthur eld . You like my grammer lol
What’s a “grammer lol”? I don’t think I like it…
Similar to a “syntax rofl”, but not as funny.
I see. I almost confused it with a “punctuation snork”.
i mean…i find that article very interesting actually i didn’t know it…
I prefer to take my life force intravenously or by means of suppository. Breathing makes my throat very dry, exhale is ok, but inhale really sucks.
(high fives! and squeezes)
*SQUEEEEEEZE*
Hi bye! But we’ve missed you so.
Hi Bye! Its so cold and lonely where I’ve been!
Missed you too!
Antarctica?
*squeeze*
just slightly North
*squeeze!*
*just slightly South squeeze!*
.
*shrugs* You know, just for old time’s sake
woo hoo!
You’re the apple of my eye!
*squeeze*
Ganny is…
you jam, are a tart!
what kind of tart?
I love tarts, just not the poop kind, more because of the texture than the flavour
you’re the core in my cornea
*squeeze*
*Strains*
inhale……inhale…..INHALE….INHALE!
*pops and flies around the room like a balloon*
WEEEEEEE!
*glues rope to granny’s butt*
*walks around with a granny balloon*
We all float down here!
*folds into a giraffe*
Noooo. But I WANT A TURTLE!!!
♫ you’re the victim!
exhale…exhale…EXHALE! ♫
LEILA!!! How are you?
she’s the fire starter
Name the band granny.
*squeeze*
You’re the prodigy, I’ll leave it to you Missy
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Who B.J. Penn?
I am good Naaah … you?
Fine. You’re probably thinking who’s this?
Yes..I am actually. I don’t owe you any money do I?
Noooo? Yeah I don’t think we’ve met…maybe we have…but I think because I used to read the comments and not comment I feel like I know you…
Now I feel like a stalker or something…:blush:
you might know her, she wears tie dye clothing and has dreads and sings alot
HAH!!!
how close am I? hahahaha
Not even close granny…but I still like your comment.
My own eStalker! LOL … kidding…
Why aren’t you opposed to the use if Baconlube® and other things anymore?
Um…you may want to read some of the previous fails.
*lurks in Leila’s bedroom closet, with door slightly ajar*
What kind of jar?
That is not a jar. Nor is it a door.
I’m relatively new here too… and I’d like to be squeezed by one of the ladies
*tucks genitals between legs*
*runs with open arms at Radebe*
*röffle!*
*snork cough cough*
Dammit Granny!
*squeeze*
*sprays*
I’d squeeze you, but I’m certainly no lady!
Hey Katy I took a test on facebook today and it turns out I may or may not be an actual potato.
I could have told you that.
I guess you could say I’m a ladyboy(not really)…does that count?
What the heck is a ladyboy?
That’s what they call transvestites in Thailand.
Okay…I will do it. *squeeze Radebe*
Don’t sound so enthusiastic, LEILA. He’ll think you’re doing it because you want to.
I don’t get it. Is it bad for me or what? I mean I’m not breathing regulary. Don’t have any new dieseases or something.
I think breathing regulary causes swine flu.
Most of my breaths contain cigarette smoke. Does that count?
Don’t be so shocked…those same doctors said smoking is good for you.
I can’t get play from the ladies even in a failblog
What do you mean ‘even in failblog’, asshat?
Don’t make me take my squeeze back.
If you can’t beat ‘em
…squeeze ‘em?
Surrender?
Join me?
pretend to be one
*laughs*
♀ LEILA© (searching for a new title) how about gentle wind woman for a new title.
Gentle Wind is better. Let them wonder about the ‘woman part.’ Hehe. Be ambiguous.
Gentle wind = ladylike farts?
Ladies don’t fart….they Daisy!
Gentle wind woman? How on earth did you come up with that?
How about “Leader of Estranged Iguanas Leaving America”?
I don’t think my refresh is working properly…what should be old is appearing as new.
That’s called “recycling”.
Damn environmentalists. Maybe the planet likes garbage. Did they ever think about that? What if otters like bathing in crude oil? No, it’s all about clean air, clean water, clean dirt! Nature is dirty, all we’re doing is helping it out!
*looks around in room*
Well, I littered my room. That’s a start.
I’m forming a Resistance Movement. Join up, and you’ll never have to clean again, all in the name of protecting the Earth.
I think that will get me in trouble. My gf won’t approve…
this makes sense, speed up the destruction of the human race so that the earth can return to normal
Where is the nuclear war when you need one?
*sigh*
That’s what those freaky robots (whatever they’re called) from the Terminator are for.
You mean Terminators?
*snickers*
Yes, but they have like a specific model # … I don’t remember what that is.
-
Good morning Mal! *squeeze*
*squeeze*
You’re probably thinking of T-1000, but he was a big Mercury booger.
Yup…that’s it!
California governors? How did we let a liberal misguide this conversation into species self-loathing?
This has nothing to do with anything, but how do you get videos powered by yourself? Does anyone know what I mean? Is it random?
I’ve no idea, but I’m sure someone here does.
*eyes the group speculatively.*
You have to be really good looking, intelligent, sexually active and altogether adorable.
And draft a quality, succinct submission – to The Moomin.
FB selects it.
hu this breathing thaing sounds pretty intresting…*inhale* *exhale*…..OH MY GOD!! what have i been missing out on all these years *inhales exhales* I HAVE THE POWER!!!
LMFAO!
thanks for the squeeze leila. All that love even has my avatar working
Morning all!! How’s everybody this fine day?
Please tell me we’ll have a lot less drama and no failblog nesting spasms today?
Morning! I’d have to lie to you…
…about the nesting at least.
Morning! I’d tell you what you want to hear, but I don’t know any better.
Tell me that Israel and Palestine have signed a lasting peace agreement, that the world economy is thriving, and that the environment has suddenly stabilized.
Oh yes, and that I’m remarkably handsome and intelligent.
Israel and Palestine are still ‘upset’ with one another, the economy is in tatters and the environment is doing whatever the hell it feels like. On the plus side, you are remarkably handsome and intelligent!
Oh, great, thanks. I think.
Sorry, I could lie to you.
Better than lying on him…
Hmmm…
*pokes head out of Leila’s bedroom closet*
Yes, Leila?
Why are you lurking? I was thinking I should just pounce you.
‘morning Brewski. You just reminded me of that song by Mary J Blige … something about no more drama. *searches MP3 player*
Good morning beautifully awesome people! *squeeze*
That means me!
*squeeze*
*group squeeze*
Hi everyone!
I can’t stay for too long because I’m going out to eat.
Are you actually going out to eat? Or are you going out to go in to eat?
Hmm…well, I’m going out of my house and in to a restaurant to eat. Sooo…I’m going outin to eat.
Dicks Halfway Inn?
No, cum N’ eat.
What about the rest of us?
Cake for everyone!
Chocolate?
Naturally!
Another noob reporting for duty.
I felt I couldn’t go on in good conscience without informing everyone that the cake is, in fact, a lie.
Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you though!
I may be beautifully awesome, but I’m not people.
How many people can you be?
*squeeze* afternoon!
I love how it says “Most doctors” and not “All doctors”. I want to meet the doctors who don’t think breathing is good for us.
I don’t.
Dr. Kevorkian anyone?
i think there dead im not sure mabe we should check on them?
…..And a minority of doctors hope you die.
…because they think your wife is hot and hope to date her once you’re gone.
What if you’re a woman?
What if you’re a woman and your wife is hot?
Or your husband or your cat or your piano…the possibilities are endless!
Whatever rocks the boat, but I think the cat is illegal everywhere but Arkansas.
but if there endless how will we weed out the killing/wife stealing doctors?
Where is endless now? Is it they’re?
did anyone acually read the artical i know i didn’t
Artichoke?
*sigh* thanks i needed that
*takes Artichoke and throws it out the window hiting a Killing/wife stealing dorctor in the head*
Thanks for hitting dorctor. He is my arch nemesis.
…wait
*waits*
*taps fingers on desk*
Alright, I’m done. You can stop waiting now.
the real fail in that is that they say MOST doctors agree that breathing is good.
i wonder what thay where thinking when thay printed this??
How do you know Thay? She’s my cousin.
really now She is your cousin She is my cousin to
I just eat lots of prunes.
thank you for that
I imagine the ‘most’ doctors depends on the patient they are seeing at the time. The world would be a much better place if some people followed medical advice to breathe a lot less.
I would say, a sensible statement. There are emo doctors.
Captain Obvious saves the day!
Does anyone feel reminded of Jon Lajoie’s Breathing Commercial?
@BigBang: that one came to my mind immediately!
Wait, MOST?
Oh, my.
What ever happened to the “Reply here” link at the bottom of comment boxes. How are the boxes being nested now?
The Sad Part is that an Entire Article is Written about it…
The Other Sad Part is that a Newspaper actually Published it XD
Ogden Ut, Standard Examiner.
Gotta love your local newspaper in fail blog…
What if not? *holds breath*
Hey, that’s my newspaper! Go Standard Examiner! wooo. Anyway, the column is generally full of sarcastic rambling, hence the name Wasatch Rambler. I’m pretty sure the ironic title was intentional.
i breathe all day but i don’t know what happens when i’m sleeping because i’m asleep i better go see a doctor
This comes from the same survey where some doctors disagreed about the benefits of regular breathing but what they didn’t mention was that some doctors also answered “don’t know” in the survey.
If I were a doctor that is what I would have answered
Hey this is from my local newspaper! This is a column. This guy is sometimes humorous.
That’s Charles Trentelman…he writes a humor/human interest column in my paper! ha! wonder when that column ran…
OMG BREATHING IS GUD 4 U I WOULD NEVER HAV GESSED!
ITS PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS >:S
OH EM GEE CAPSLOCK FAIL, I guess?
Obvious win
Obvious win and Double fail, because, i wonder which doctors DISagree that breathing regularly is good for your health
“Sidhe Cat says:
May 21, 2009 at 5:27 am
Putting your .002 ¢ worth in is always a gamble.”
point naught naught 2 Cents fail!
I want to go to one of the doctors who didn’t agree. That could be an entertaining doctor’s visit.
He’s damn right, man!
this is an article from the bay area magizine the onion. it is a complete joke designed to spoof all doctors. look em up on youtube. no one should take this serious
O rly?
didn’t know that
this article was in the Vampire Times
Actually…
According to scientist
This is the CORRECT method to do science
One very important lesson we learn in the first year is:
No matter how OBVIOUS is the fact, a scientific test must be done.
This is how paradigm shift occurred.
Such as plate tectonic theory or Newton’s discovery of gravity
Everybody thought it was so obvious that does not needed to do experiment, and they succeeded to prove the truth.
i’m guessing that it’s the blonde doctors that disagree
o well golly gee!
i didnt know that!
so thats why so like OMG
oh and Ippherita no one cares its funny deal with it
I was surprised when I saw this fail because that guy writes for my newspaper.
In case you are wondering, this newspaper is called the Standard Examiner and is published in Ogden, UT.
Oh wow, I never knew that until today. I guess I’d suppose I will stop hyperventilating profusely now. Thanks for that. FAILED. X’s infinity.
Why’d they even write this or debate this. Everyone knows it’s good for you.