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Cheezburger Network Blog
23? that’s pretty sad.
Just think about how hard it will be to get the dough out of her hair.
She hold the dough there for over an hour.. So it’s her own fault.
LOL she thought she was ‘brown bread’
that makes no sense
I fail at getting that joke too. Wolf, care to elaborate?
Brown bread is Cockney rhyming slang for dead.
fake fails are not funny
Such a whole(meal)some contribution there Marty.
did she died? eh…
Agreed. Really not funny. I heard this joke at 5th grade camp, ten years ago. It was much funnier then.
Not fake, they tested it on Mythbusters and actually found out that in a hot car, cookie dough canisters explode.
It’s rhyming slang- She thought she was “Brown bread” – dead.
She got a pain in her “loaf of bread” – head.
And she really has “Tom tit” for brains!
Quite confusing…but i do get it.
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Top 10 Sports Gifs
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Thanks Gov!
It’s Cockney Rhyming Slang which originated in the East End of London. There are loads – ‘Going up the apples’ as in Apples & Pears – Stairs: ‘Brush my barnet’ as in Barnet Fair – Hair (Barnet is a place name) … there are loads of them – you can find out more through Google but try this for starters. http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/
Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner…………!
That’s really great, I love the humor that no one will get unless they know about it
Hey Hairy, the white turnip stirred the plummy pudding. Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
…except for the entire nation from which it originated,
elitism claim fail
I LIVE IN BARNET
BRAP BRAP BRAP
BLACK BOYS UP IN THIS BITCH
BLACK BOYS BLACK BOYS
YEAH WE’RE ALL BLACK BOYS,
BUT SOON WE’RE GUNNA BE BLACK MEN,
AND ONE DAY WE MIGHT HAVE BLACK BOYS,
AND WE’RE GUNNA HAVE TO TEACH THEM HOW TO BE BLACK MEN
This is probably the comment of the year.
Congratulations you just won yourself a letter ‘Z’.
Agreed. Relevance fail.
“Trouble & Strife”=Wife
♫ Gonads & Strife, Gonads & Strife ♪
♫ Gonads in the lightning, in the LIGHTNING, in the rain! ♪
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Thanks for info. is it “old school” rhyming?
better than a bunch of cussing.
…or maybe it’s cos you’re a berk?
WTF thats the dumbest shiz ive ever heard
Well… BRAIN DEAD…BROWN BREAD…makes any sense now? Good one Wolf! This lady defies the purpose of calling blondes stupid! She is MUCH more than that!
…
now it makes alot of “tens”,thanks for the “collaboration”
You need moderation to talk like D**k Van D**e??.
I’m pretty sure not one of your comments has made any sense…
Aaaaand nesting fail.
I will try to explain without activating the filter.
In the slang vernacular of the East End of London (England)
The term ‘Brown Bread’ means Dead
Eye tiddly eye-tie, eat brown bread. I saw a sausage fall down dead.
Oh no!!! Moomin!!!!
*dances*
where i’m from eating brown bread means something wayyy different
sounds like she was half baked
Kiniko? Nesting fail? I’m a bloke, not a bird!
Well, duh its a FAIL.
Still, I bet that hurt!
“Lisa is blonde.”
I like that addition
Myeah, that addition is what makes me think it’s fake =\. No real newspaper would say that.
I dunno, they tested it on mythbusters, so it’s real enough to justify said testing. If anything the article is based on an original and somebody thought they were being clever by adding “Lisa is blonde.”
That was an excellent mythbusters. They even tested a number of different brands to see if there was a difference. There was.
And they discovered it was fake, remember? Good ol’ Failblog, always fact checking.
Since when did they bust it? The canisters exploded, even if it had to get really hot, she could have been asleep too.
Leave it to one blonde chick to ruin it for the rest of us.
At the beggining of the article it said she was Brunette though.
Unless she’s a dirty blonde?
I still have some leftover egg shampoo.
Is she a bread basket-case?
*takes Aja’s shampoo*
UNGH!
*squirts shampoo on back of Lisa’s head*
I reserve this spot for an obligatory dirty joke, which I cannot think of just yet. But I call dibs on it for when I do.
How about this:
Lisa squirts “shampoo” on back of Czuhc’s head.
Good morning everyone! I’m trying something different today. Take a wild guess at what it is.
You’re going to tell your girlfriend that it’s shampoo and that’s why it’s going to be in her hair?
Um…. no. It’s about my name.
Ha ha, very funny. Are you fatboy, or FSA?
Who is fatboy?
The kid that posted his name in Chinese, haven’t seen him around here in ages. His name roughly translated to “fat boy”.
Um, its JAPANESE kanji and NOT Chinese. Check your facts before you speak.
lol. Chinese kanji ARE Japanese kanji. The Japanese took the same symbols. Even the name “kanji” is a transliteration of “han ji” – Chinese characters.
What you MEANT to say, and what you surely would have said had YOU checked your facts before you spoke, was that the katakana and hiragana are Japanese.
fruit cake…
Lisa squirts sham”poo” on the back of Czuhc’s head.
Easier than getting a brain into her skull.
GAY FAIL!!!
this isn’t a fail, is it someone thinking they were shot and panicking. I am sure other people would react the same why.
Why not.
I probably take the highwhy to the hospital if this happens to me..
I know what dough feels like, and I assume what brain feels like.
This woman is stupid because if your brain is oozing our of your skull, you probably wouldn’t have the bodily functions left to keep it in.
*red-eyedly sips his first cup of coffee and looks unamused*
Not really. A lot of the brain isn’t necessary to keep up the bodily functions. Although it’s unlikely, it’s not impossible, I’d say.
That’s true, but the back of the head’s awfully close to the stem! And, to be fair, you don’t really worry about that kind of thing when you think your brain is exposed! Although shouting for help might have been an idea…
Little anecdote:
A girl I knew worked in a hospital at the emergency station. One night a guy came in who looked perfectly normal. When she asked him what his problem was, he turned his head – and had a hatchet in the back of his head. Turned out he tried to end a fight when one of the guys hit him in the back of the head. He later realized that it was with a hatchet – which, coincidentally, got stuck just between his brain halfs. Happy second birthday!
Ouch. Heard of Phineas Gage? Clickie.
Hell!!! That’s incredible!
Gage was no longer Gage.
Damn, you beat me to it!
I’m amused… You guys usually seem to be on top of these things. This is very popular urban legend. It’s been around for quite some time.
I kinda agree… but I don’t see a connection to the word “gay”. Neither in your comment, nor in the fail.
They said gay fail!
They?
*completely confused*
I think it’s allowed in English, but maybe it’s just slang. ‘They’ can refer to a single person when you don’t know the gender, ‘it’ can be kind of insulting.
They be crazy!
I refer to people as it, and I get in trouble for it
Noooo, don’t say that word! The Knights who say “Nee!” can not stand to hear that word!
I see. Thanks!
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So the fail was that it had nothing to do with gays?
Maybe, I like to think they were saying that the fail had failed to contain the homosexual content they were hoping for!
Like, if this was supposed to be gay…it definately failed.
SK! I tried to get you to see some links I posted for you for two days! It was in the concept fail, in the middle of the comment section.
I saw them…I have seen them before as I practicaly live on msnbc.com.
Really? Err… why did you then say that I was wrong on these two aspects?
Um….what happened? Why can’t I reply to the comment below?
You just did.
OK I think I get it now… anyways.
I disagree with you because your examples are a microcosm of what is going on in a nation with 300 million people. All of whom come from extremely diverse backgrounds. I witness frist hand the constant infrastructure failures as I live between NYC and Boston. The article drasticaly overstates the publics opinion, and I hardly think traffic negatively impacts peoples quality of life. As far as the tent villiages go I am sure we have more homeless people than many European countries. But this doesn’t exclude the fact that these people do have sufficient government assistance available to them, and will most likely have plenty of opportunity to get back on their feet. I guess what I am saying is that I understand the United States is leaving the era of excess that we enjoyed post WWII to the present; however, the light that is shed on America by foreign and some domestic press paints a very inacurate picture of a nation that is still the standard for developed nations.
Fact remains, America’s Foreign Policy since WW2 has been poor and the gap between the rich and poor is the biggest in any developed country. I certainly wouldn’t say America was a standard for any country it hasn’t invaded in the last 60 years or so. Except, maybe England…
That sounds a little different from what you said last time…
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The US infrastructure is not on the standard of several European nations (I assume that Japan is also better). The US does not “set the standard for developed nations” in this respect.
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Would you really call it “sufficient government assistance” when people who were members of the middle class six months ago(!) now have to live in their tents or cars?
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I think the problem in this discussion is, that you continue to feel insulted in you patriotism. Which isn’t what I was aiming at. But facts stay facts, no matter how you feel about them.
I disagree, Gaynor. You will find several US influences in many nations around the world. Things said first in 1776 are now also one of the fundaments of my nation and others as well.
Your nation might be a bad example as America did invade it in 1945
Although they most certainly were justified that time! I can’t think of a nation which follows principles set up in America? Surely the French Revolution is what sparked the movement to democracy, which in turn was invented by the Greeks? Perhaps there’s something I’m missing here though.
Yes, there is. 1776 was earlier than 1789…
One example: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…”
Whoops, history fail on my part!
Isn’t that quote very similar to what the Greeks believed in 500BC or so?
Gaynor: Go ask any of the countries we have “invaded” in Southeast Asia or the Middle East how they feel about us. Oh and we don’t really count the thank you’s we get for giving out the most foreign aid by far of any country. And Arthur yes I am guilty of being patriotic. I don’t know why I am. I am a liberal by all standards, an agnostic, and a raving skeptic, but when it comes to my country I am proud. I don’t think any other country in the world can hold up to the moral standards that the united States (not in seperate but as a whole) portray. And if you need specific examples like you tend to provide I would site how we don’t monitor our people 24/7 like Brits do, we don’t mistreat people who refuse to assimilate like how the French and Germans treat Muslims, and we don’t discriminate against women on the scale of Europeans either. Look around both of you, everything that is modern in your culture comes from the US. Every progressive idea you have was born in the mind of an American. Get your facts straight Arthur.
Yesandno. The ancient Greek society was build upon slavery (same for the Romans). Plus it was sexist. Therefore, all men were equal back then meant: Male citizens. Yes, some of the founding fathers of the US were also slave owners. But their principles were stronger (in the long run) than what they practised. Nowadays the “West” is build upon these principles. Where are you living? Is it any different there?
Arthur: I live in Ireland, we’ve got a very young nation, most of our constitution is built on the English one because we were part of the commonwealth up until we won our independence. I understand which parts you are referring to which have originated in America now and I concede my mistake.
Hey Gaynor, I would move to Ireland but I would be afraid that they would put a 20 foot high cement wall around my house and 6 video cameras to watch me. But oh yeah the IRA conflict is over, right.
Whoa, Sk. No need to get hostile. First, read my comments here. Do you find anything anti-American in them? I don’t. Easy there.
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Moral standards: Sorry, I have to mention it – The illegal war against Iraq based upon lies. Guantanamo. Abu Ghraib. “Enhanced interrogation techniques”. Secret prisons. Transporting prisoners to other countrys to let them torture the prisoners…. And so on. Examples just from the last 8 years! Glasshouse…
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Monitor people 24/7? Have you ever read the PATRIOT Act?
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Discrimination of muslims: We’re having problems with that, I won’t deny that. But: Don’t you? Ask US muslims about the years after 9/11 until today (just to remind you, the false claim that Obama is a muslim was used in a smear campaign against him).
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Discrimination of women: Also still exist here. But our chancellor is female. Dunno what makes you believe that European countries are more sexist than the US. Look up the number of women in the US goverment and compared it to the scandinavian countries…
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It is not true that everything modern in our societies comes from the US. Have you ever heard about the enlightenment? Just one example. What you call modern has developed in an international exchange of ideas over centuries.
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Get your facts straight, SK.
I’m not getting hostile I still luv ya. All those things you mentioned….about the last 8 years. I personaly marched in the streets against those things. I personaly found each and every one of them disgusting, and so did every person I choose to associate myself with. But 64 million people voted against those things (a vast majority of the voting public) last time I heard there was an election. The past is the past and moving forward I see no indication the US will take a backseat to the European union. Rumors that the dollar is being replaced and that China is going to be a superpower any day….these are bullshit! What you read about the US is slant.
Actually, the IRA are back unfortunately.
But no one’s living in a bunker yet, apparently they’re not as comfortable as advertised! And just so you know, I’m completely disgusted with my government at the moment, they’ve been lining their pockets for years and can’t seem to do anything except come up with half-baked ideas and projects which they plow into without any research. The IRA thing is unfortunate, but only represents the views of a minority of the Irish people, hence why we haven’t gone to war with Northern Ireland as a nation. I might as well point to the KKK and say America’s racist! This is not so. I assume the most countries I’m to ask are ignoring Iraq, Afghanistan, Georgia, Vietnam and Korea?
Sofaking: I never meant to imply that everyone in America should be tarred with the same brush, only that, as a nation, they have been like a bully in the last few decades. I certainly never meant to imply that everyone in America agreed with its foreign policies and I apologise if any of my comments have seemed that way to you.
SK: Fair enough, you and many others were against those horrible things. But you can’t just take your opinion and say THAT is America. Unfortunately the policy of the US wasn’t a moral standard for the rest of the world, like you said before. Looking to the future is a strength of the USA that I admire. But ignoring the (unpleasant parts of) the past is also a part of your national character…
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You don’t know what I read, hear or see about the US, so I’d say it’s better if you stick to what I actually said.
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Your 7:35 comment sounded pretty aggressive and hostile to me. “Get your facts straight”… Plus, it was ignorant. Many of the things you said were simply not true, see my comment above. And what you said to Gaynor 7:43 was also not polite, to say the least.
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Patriotism is perfectly alright. It becomes a problem when you allow it to blind you. Which apparently happens to you. It becomes a problem, too, when you think and talk bad about other nations, which you did. And that despite the obvious fact that you don’t know too much about these countries.
*pushes Gaynorvader, steals his lunch money, and gives atomic wedgie*
Both my great grandparents came from Ireland. No harm in a lively debate.
I certainly never suggested it was! A word to the wise though, avoid mentioning the IRA, a lot of people feel about them the same as the Germans generally feel about the Nazis. Now if you excuse me I have to go extract my underwear, they taste horrible!
Arthur this is why I am an artist not a politician. Talking about politics sucks. But I do have to respond to “But ignoring the (unpleasant parts of) the past is also a part of your national character…”…….um (cough) no comment. *squeeze*
Lack of knowledge. That is exactly what we don’t do. In fact, if I have to tell you the fundament of our political system in two words it’s “never again”. We Germans are very aware of our past, especially the horrible parts of it. I think a new Hitler is nowhere as impossible as in Germany. It took a while, but we learned. Look up “The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe” for only one example. Do you know another nation that displays their crimes against humanity right in the middle of their capital? Could tell you much more about that, but unfortunately (or fortunately for those annoyed by this discussion
) I have to go now.
um ok…robosheep molesters fail too then…
Morning Artorius and Gaynor (and all)!
Morning! How do?
I do well for living in an impoverished tent villiage. I wonder sometimes how I fit all my stuff inside it..oh wait its a condo.
Morning!
*waves*
Which is why it is hilarious. Plus this story is over 20 years old. I remember hearing it from my cousins when I was a wee lad.
It would definitely be shocking as hell to suddenly get walloped in the back of the head like that. But IF the story is even true, a) wouldn’t she have noticed the lack of blood? I’d assume that if you get shot in the head and clamp your hands over the wound really fast, a large quantity of blood would run through your fingers and down your arm. B) why would she immediately jump to the conclusion that she’d been SHOT? Isn’t that kind of random and crazy? C) Might she have looked in the rear view mirror and noticed that her car’s back window wasn’t broken (and/or had dough all over it)?
How come no one has yet commented on the fact that this is one of the oldest urban legends known to humanity and there’s no way that it actually ran in a real paper, even a podunk hillbilly paper? This is a fail fail.
just because it’s not true doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be written about…
Mythbusters actually tried that one. Turned out that even with the heat, it was impossible for the can to explode to a point that someone can mistake exploding dough for a gunshot.
And about the last line (Lisa is blonde), do you really think that a newspaper would write that? Just imagine the law suits….
well if lisa’s made up who’s gonna sue?
they tested this on mythbusters
That last scentence makes it all clear in the end.
did she died….???
She is blonde.
Epic.
This is not real. Mythbusters proved it couldn’t have happened.
yeah i know.. maybe if she was like 6 years old i could buy that, but this 23 year old……………… NEVER! sheesh some people…
I prefer a nice biscuit
You’ve not had timtams then
Nothing the cream would not clear up
As long as you found the right flavor, it’d all be chipper.
Lucky she was not a red head!
When she found out, did she say ‘doh’
Dough!
You really knead to move on, man.
At yeast he’s not trolling.
all these bread jokes are starting to get a “rise” out of me.
I didn’t think our jokes were that bread.
Allrye’t, I’ll quit if that’s what you want.
You spelt something incorrectly.
Of corns!
Wheat do you mean?
Oi! gaynorvader and Patrica! How are you?
Alright Hairy! We’re fine, I’m a bit busy in work though. Guess I’ll just have to grain and bear it.
Ah, how as your night? and how is Patrica?
Whoopsedaisies!
*ads a ‘w’ to the word as..*
My night? Patrica’s fine, she drank a bit too much last night so she’s sleeping it off.
She’s an alcoholic? I don’t know that..!
I’m really tired from last night.. Still 3 hours of work :/
Nah, she just drank too much water and now she’s all bloated. She’ll be out of it flour another hour a least.
Ah o.k… but i thought she was grounded, she gave you breakfast in bed to get out of it right?
No, she’s still grounded, she drank too much while she was at home. She painted a painting (dunno what oven she’d kill me if she found out!), maybe she drank the water from that?
Oh, she might have lead-poison then.. You should see a doctor..
My date was really great, next Friday I’m taking her out again 
oh, I wanted to tell you about yesterday..
Sweet, did ciabatta her eyelashes at you?
Ehm.. I don’t know what Ciabatta is
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But we kissed in the elevator when I was bringing here home
*snatches the ‘e’ from ‘here’*
It was a bready made pun! I meant ’she bat’ when I said ‘ciabatta’ (which is a type of Italian bread incidentally).
Oooh, I tried to translate it with my phone but i got nothing back from it :p I learn something every day, here on FailBlog!
I hope the next date on Friday will be as good as yesterday..
(I’m not sure if that’s proper English.)
*strolls into thread, coffee in hand*
Morning everyone! Sorry for being so argumentative with everyone yesterday. I’m trying to stop doing that. And I can’t think of a bread joke to go in here *frowns*
Yeah, all the good ones were used already…
Don’t be sorry! Being argumentative is a good thing! At least so ses(a)me!
Morning! Arguments are perfectly alright here, as long as basic rules of politeness are followed. Which you did. Don’t worry!
Thanks. Gaynor, sounds like Patricia tried to pumpernickel beer down her throat all night and wound up regretting it. *grimace* That was bad.
You have muffin to worry about, XPhile, it was a grand effort, any way you slice it! *toasts XPhile*
*butters toast* Tasty. I doughnut recall a better toast.
When I pop tin here this morning I didn’t expect to find such a pun run.
It’s a bit half baked if you ask me.
Half naked?
Nobody seems to react.. So I’ll just post the comment I was hoping for:
Wait down!
*adds an ’s’ to the word wait..*
How did it baguette out of the bag?
o:
I heard this story years ago. It’s probably an urban myth.
Yeah, this story is old.
older then stupid blondes
Matty your avatar is great!
Thanks. It’s from this excellent old game here.
Nice.
Pretty sure I’ve seen it on snopes. Still, it’s good for a giggle.
the breadbusters should test that
I’ve heard it too. Think its come round as one of those internet circulars – including the bit about her being blonde. The paper probably needed an item to fill a space that day!
This is an urban myth. It has never happened. I read about it in at least three ”urban myth” books that disspell urban myths. Its like the woman who says she bought a cookie recipe and found out it cost her a lot of money, so she is going to give it away in retribution. That never happened, and this never happened. This is a ‘Fail’ for the ‘Fail blog’.
EXACTLY! Thank you. People who believe this actually happened ‘Fail.’
Checking Snopes fail
This one was covered on Mythbusters – neat to see the original article.
I second that.
I thought of mythbusters immediatly when I finished reading it.
Don’t bet on this being the “original article.” If you check snopes, you’ll see it’s been reprinted many a time.
just like biscuits to play a prank like that.
Does that mean you’re more of a cookie person?
Never met a cookie I didn’t like. And they don’t sneak attack.
Not true. I once ate six cookies, and a few hours later I found out they were made with laxatives. Definitley a “sneak up on you suddenly” attack.
now THAT is a good prank
well, could be worse, it could be crack…
Yeah, a little bit of evilness in my tasty morsel is my cup of tea.
Is she at least hot? A fail like that can only be forgiven if she’s hot.
That comment hits like a dick on the drums..
Urban Legend. Not real.
John Legend. Green light.
I am Legend. Super special.
I am woman. Hear me roar.
*raaawwrrr*
Lisa? No, that’s not your brains silly! It’s just a piece of bread-dough!
♫ I’m not Lisa ♫
Nice name change. That’s cool.
Thank you. :blush:
uh oh . . . with all the nesting snafu’s in the “new and improved” Failblog … I thought I’d better check … you were commenting on my name, darling フルーツケーキ、すべてが解決する, weren’t you? Or not.
It’s all good.
THIS IS CAKETOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
except in this case, the cake was unbaked.
I’m calling a fake on this one – did they really need to mention that she was blond at the end of the article, really?
Exactly what I wanted to complain about. But as it’s obviously an urban myth, it probably was the purpose of the story to discriminate blondes. Annoying.
That’s what gave it away to me, too. That and snopes.com, which I believe someone already mentioned.
the fact that shes blond is an extremely critical peice of information
rly?
I saw a documentary about the woman that it happened to; she was on her way home from shopping when it happened, and she drove herself to hospital then fainted :/
No, you didn’t.
Yes, you did.
Really crazy stupid stuff like this actually happens sometimes… But clues that it is fake are:
1) “The actual AP headline”, when the rest appears like a real article,
2) “Lisa is blonde”. An actual article would probably not make reference to this (c’mon now), and would refer to her by her last name, not her first.
Well, I guess it is real. Because a lot of newspapers use strange titles for the article’s to make you read them. Then they might have used her first name because people with the same last name can get confronted with ‘oh, a jackson you must be stupid’ or something.. And then the ‘Lisa is blonde’ sentence could be real if it a free newspaper that runs on commercials.. Those papers usually do something like this to add a little humor because some people just don’t get that the whole story is in there because of stupidity.
Also, since they say it was the “actual AP headline,” it’d make sense if the brief were written in AP style. Okay would be OK, and they would definitely be quoting the paramedics as opposed to going, Oh, this happened and this happened next.
Totally fake.
Could be, I noticed there was no date at the start of the article.. That makes me think it’s not real.. Might have been some sort of contest to send in the stupidest article ever? I don’t think it’s fake..
Have you people never heard of snopes.com? It’s the very first article when you search for “biscuit” there, for god’s sake. Stop guessing and start searching.
a newspaper article would be relativeley easy to shop… but its still funny
dough head ?
Lisa is blond – all we needed to know.
So 1984.
Ahhh… that urban myth again. Check it on snopes. Truth fail…
Not an urban legend! I worked as a Paramedic. I was on an extremely similar call. We were dispatched to a Kroger in Dunbar, WV for a woman shot in the head. The 911 dispatcher said she was on the phone with her. Two trucks were dispatched. I was on the one further away. As we pulled into the parking lot, the first truck told us to slow our response, you could tell that they were laughing. When we walked over to the car, everyone was laughing. We were told the same thing that happened in this story.
But, are those biscuits heatseeking or something? Because it seems to happen
a lot…
I answered a 911 call once of a man screaming that someone was shooting at him…when the police got there, they couldn’t find any evidence of it…they took him home and questioned his girlfriend about it. She said, “I don’t know, we were asleep and he jumped up screaming that someone was shooting at him and then ran out the door. I laid down and went back to sleep.”
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1.) The man HAD A BAD DREAM and CALLED 911 because of it…and
2.) His girlfriend went the #$(*& back to sleep!!!
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That was always one of most favorite calls ever. I LOVED that job.
Some fools call 911 for nothing.. But I can’t imagine it’s fun when you hear someone crying and saying: ‘my husband just got shot’
Do you think loud farting was involved?
my girlfreind called 911 because a spider crawled up her pant leg and i wasnt home…… that ambulance was EXPENSIVE
Yeah, I’m going to just go ahead and call you a liar without any actual proof from you. The people who repeat this urban legend all swear that it happened to someone they know.
That’d make you arrogant, you can disbelieve him if you want, but to call him a liar’s going a bit far. And how, pray tell, do you expect him to present proof? Grow up.
Why call him a liar? Because of experience. Everyone claims that it happened to them or they know who it happened to. No, really! Would you believe it if I told you that no, really, I DID escape from Nigeria and have money tied up in the bank here if only you could help me get it out? No, you’d call me a liar, and rightly so.
No, I wouldn’t call you a liar. I wouldn’t believe you, I might even go so far as to believe you’re a liar, but I wouldn’t come out and say so unless there was evidence suggesting you were lying. You are perfectly right to ask for evidence, but a personal insult is a bit too sharp. If he couldn’t tell you something a paramedic would know, then you would have grounds to call him a liar.
If someone had said “you are a liar” to people when they retold this or many other urban legends, claiming it happened to them or a friend of theirs, there would be no such thing as urban legends. So no, not really gonna feel bad about it.
That’s false logic. That’s like saying if one country’s government told another country’s government that they were “bastards” every time they invaded somewhere, there’d be no more war!
No, that couldn’t have happened, because I am also a Paramedic, and everyone in my family is a Paramedic, and my dad is the president of Kroger, and I am the dispatcher who received the phone call from the woman in Dunbar, and she specifically said she DIDN’T get shot in the head, and she hates biscuits and has never bought biscuit dough in her life, and I dispatched three trucks, not two, and the other two were further away.
definitely urban myth…check it out on snopes. failblog fail…unless it’s supposed to be like…ironic or something
I saw this on Mythbusters a few years ago.
Dick Van Dyck
This is an old thing that goes around, last time I read an “article” about this (looked just like this one, like it was scanned from a newspaper) it wasn’t cookie dough but cat/dog food…. funny story but oh well, it’s like the kentucky fried mouse.
cat/dog food doesnt expand in heat like dough, perhaps there is a bit of truth to this…
it would prolly make a sound like a gunshot but it most likely wouldnt hit her in the back of the head, unless she was MISSING THE FRAKKING SEAT IN HER CAR come on guys…
Someone held a barrel to her head.
A biscuit barrel lol
Fail fail.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
That’s exactly what I was gonna say. Does that make it a Snopes win?
Nope; that would make this a average reader fail as the average reader of this site bought it from what I’ve been reading. Says something about the gullibility of people too. ^_~
morn Kinoko failblog is failing. I have noticed a lot of errors.Nice avatar.
ROFL!!!
LISA IS BLONDE!!!!!!
Is that the reason you’ve got no ‘e’ on your keyboard?
LMAO.
haha……..love the last line..”lisa is blonde”
Sorry Ron, despite your indications to the contrary, this is indeed an urban legend.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
This is really old.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
Failblog.org FAIL. This is nothing more than an oft-told urban legend.
Failblog is infailable. This is just some stupidity they wanted to share. Even though it’s old.
this is false legend, it never happened. check snopes.
You’ve just undermined your entire blog in my eyes.
That’s just because you’re not familiar enough with the various urban legends. They’ve done this multiple times. Worse than that are the obviously fake videos they post sometimes.
Ach, duplicate comment, please delete.
How did you do that?
Wow, I was just thinking how I would react when I would really catch a shot in the head! UNGH! That makes me feel miserable..
Why was she worried about her brain falling out? It’s not like she’s using it for anything.
She’s not using it.. But when your brains fall out you somehow drop down dead..
Not if you hold them in dumb@ss!
Geez didn’t you read the article?
Rofl @ “Lisa is Blonde.” xD
no space between covered & and. come on! completely fake
Good heavens! You’re right! It’s definitely fake. In all of history, there has NEVER been a typo in a newspaper article! Ever, maybe.
p.s. Have you recoveredand all from the shock?
why does a typo have anything to do with its validity?
the myth was [BUSTED]
rofl I love how the article feels the need to mention that she is blonde
Mythbusters did this one…
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/mythbusters-biscuit-bullet.html
Thanks for that link – for all of you who are saying this is definitely fake – Mythbusters says not only is it possible, but even probable. Plus, the dough, heated enough to pop the canister, is particularly mooshy, wet and warm.
While this news clipping is most likely fake, it’s possible that this HAS happened.
The is fake!!! I used to hear this story all the time when I was younger, Myth Busters even tried to re-create this to see its even possible which it was not. The only thing that’s sad is the fact that people keep falling falling for this lame story.
Wow! Catch me Benjamin! I’m falling falling!
This isn’t a fail. This is a joke/urban legend that’s been around for years.
No it’s photoshopped clearly.. Look at the shadows..
First!
Second!
This is sooooo old that there’s spiderweb on the letters. I saw this one at least 10 years ago.
Was this a canister of regular bread of of sticky buns?
Lisa is also a Democrat. Go figure.
This is a well known urban legend. Check snopes.com. Link is above.
Biscuit Doehands man strikes again!
This is not a head wound.
It’s just a flesh wound.
It’s a poppin’ fresh wound.
lisa is blond O_o
If you are going to be a goose, at least get your spelling right. Blonde is spelt with an ‘e’.
Why are they wanterd fer attmptetd muder they never do anethent worng. Pore buscuts.
*head explodes*
Hey feces, I think your brain fell out. Might want to check for holes.
Check out Snopes! Failblog FAILED to do their homework! This is an OLD Legend/Story! Not REAL!
Where does Failblog claim that everything on it is true? It’s still funny, real or not.
It is a little disappointing since I’ve seen this story so many times before. As soon as I read “Killer Biscuits Wanted for Murder” I knew what it was about.
is this their homework? is this supposed to be real? comment fail
kamikaze cookie.
“Commander! This is it! I’m going in for the big one!”
This is an old story. I read this in the Darwin Awards over 10 years ago.
I know someone else that that happened to and no, she was not blond. She is quite smart. The sound from the can exploding actually caused severe hearing loss in one of her ears. It was pretty traumatic.
Lamest attempt at “I had a friend who died that way” meme, ever.
Haha, I found a website that says:
Quality hasn’t to be expensive :’-)
“Lisa is blonde”. Well, well, well… What is this, if not a racist comment? Why would that be funnier than “Lisa is black” ?
lol, does it mean she’s stupid because she’s blonde? what a comment..
I smell a hoax. With the spelling error towards the and and the last line about her being a blonde. I just dont’ think it’s a legit AP article
I smell an incredibly redundant comment.
come on, this one is SO an urban legend. FAIL for posting it, webmaster!
http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/biscuits.html
Urban legend. It irritates me when these show up as “actual AP headlines.” There are enough truly dumb people in the world that we can laugh at. How lame do you have to pretend that a Brett Butler act is an actual news story?
Failblog FAIL – Check out Snopes.com. This story is totally an old urban legend with no basis in truth.
Isn’t this pretty old?
I dunno if it’s a urban legend or not, but it is pretty old. My uncle’s workplace has the actual clipping on the door.
I find it odd that they mentioned she was blond at the end. It’s irrelevant, unless they’re hinting at something…. -_-;;
This isn’t true. It’s an urban legend.
Lol. But I don’t see how the fact that the girl was blonde is relevant…
this is an urban legend – search for “the biscuit bullet” on snopes.com
The only fail is that this is on this blog. There was MythBusters on this myth, and they busted it. It is not possible.
They rated it “Plausible” but couldn’t confirm the original story.
Haha, I love the last sentance; “Lisa is blonde”
OK, WE GOT IT! Urban Legend. Check. Now,
P L E A S E !!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP with the redundant comments already! As in – for God’s sake, people, STFU!
this is actually a joke taken from s’ommore’s “the queen stands alone” stand-up routine that aired on comedy central last year
I always thought the Pillsbury Doughboy looked like a cereal killer….
that cute, little, innocent smile was just a cover up!
Biscuits for the win!
What a dumb bitch
I love the ending “Lisa is blonde.”
–
peaches says:
May 20, 2009 at 9:34 am
What a dumb bitch
–
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Shhhh not so loud.
This fail really takes the biscuit
Crumbs chief!
it said “Lisa is Blonde” at the end
d00d thats evil^^
haha I love that they had to include, oh yeah and she’s blonde,
Love me my Mythbusters.
Wasn’t this an episode of Mythbusters?
So, from now on, I’m gonna check -at minimum- the post above me before I post my comment. <———-FAIL
ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:
____ ^_______
L ___/ [] \
LOL —-/ \
L \ ________________]
I I
——————–/
lol your roflcopter is a coplete failure
so is my spelling :/
ROFL copter didn’t work!!!
lol, it says “Lisa is a blonde” right at the end
Whoever posted this FAIL is blonde.
The last sentence makes it all.
Can we PLEASE stop with the whole “blondes-are-the-only-dumb-people-on-the-entire-planet” thing? It’s getting f***ing old. It’s only funny to you because you’ve never been talked down to because of your hair color, never-mind the fact that you’re not mentally challenged but actually smart.
Way to promote an ignorant, malicious stereotype.
Funny! Too bad it’s bulls#!t. Old urban legend.
This fail totally made my day
ahhahahahahahahaha – Fail Blog Fail – this is a very old urban legend.
yeah, Q’s right this is an urban legend
The FAIL is that this is an email hoax and never happened. Only true FAILs are funny guys.
didn’t they do this myth on mythbusters once a loooooooooong time ago? and the last sentence is a fail
dont get it…
The fail is the comment section on fail blog which has turned into a chat room for trolls
Yeah, this was proven false on Mythbusters a while ago, but the last sentence is funny and out of place xD
It was rated “Plausible”. Funny how many people have commented on here that Mythbusters disproved it – guess you’re all just not as big a fan of blowing things up as I am…
LOL, the mythbusters tested this
This is a very, very old urban myth, as most people have already said. And I think it’s sexist too. ‘Lisa is blonde’. Right, when have blond Men ever been accused of being stupid because of their hair colour?
Constantly.
That having been said, is the fail here for the freaked out woman, or for AP for using the line “Lisa is blonde” to end the article? My vote’s on the second.
It’s actually true, they did a segment of it on Mythbusters, but yeah, it does look like someone typed it up….or just got it from a newspapers website. Minus the title which is obviously fake
“lisa is blond” i cant see why that is relevent but major lol
This is living proof that blondes are stupid
lmfao what a dumb blonde. blondes are stoopid
Hey Laila,
Just wanted to let you know that there is a party at my place and I really need a partner to throw this party. So just call me up and we’ll get this party planned! <33
xoxo Jesse Cupcake
Sorry, it’s a fake. Urban legend already debunked. Snopes anyone?
Fake as hell.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
did anyone see at the end of the writing it says “Lisa is a blonde”
oh god..that is so fake..reporters never put “…” after a sentence and why would they say she was blonde.. doesn’t even sound like a reporter wrote that ether.. Fail blog Fail!
I’m pretty sure they tested this on mythbusters…
Ummm this was shown on the show Urban Legends and it isn’t true
lol she was blond yay blond jokes
They disproved this on Mythbusters, didn’t they?
“Lisa is blonde.” Would they have said, “Lisa is black,” with the implication that because she’s black she’s stupid?
Racists always exist, they just shift their prejudices.
Blonde is a race?
I don’t think that helped make your point.
fake, saw this in an email many years ago. get real people and only post real $&%@
Come ON, Failblog. As many have noted here, Mythbusters busted this one a while ago. On top of that, if you’d bothered to search Snopes.com (the urban legend site), you’d know this was just an urban legend, and an old hairy one at that.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
>_> I don’t appreciate the “Lisa is blonde” comment…
But anyway Mythbuster’s did this aaaannd… it’s fake.
It’s not only fake. It’s old.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
The story ends with “Lisa is blonde.” How ironic is that?
According to my husband, this story was featured on an episode of mythbusters as an urban legend.
lol shes a blonde
BUSTED!!!!
Mythbusters did this one on the second EVER episode back in like 2003. (Pilot #2, Airplane Toilet, Biscuit Bullet, Leaping Lawyer) Back when they did interviews and had the input of Dr Heather Joseph-Witham. Her Doctorate is in Mythology and Folklore.
While the guys showed that it was possible, Dr Joseph-Witham’s and the interviews sowed that this original story never happened. Repoter Elaine Viets stated that after she did her reserch that it never happened.
This reminds me of a fail of mine back in 8th grade, I was walking and a guy pelted me in the eye with a snow ball, I instantly closed my eye when it touched causing snow to get trapped under my eye lid. When I tried to open my eye I freaked out and thought my eye got popped ^.^ fail
I love how they had to ad that she was blonde..
lol
fake… “an actual ap headline” in some sort of faux-news paper clip out? isch dont think so…
LOLS
“lisa is blonde”
I told you the cookies would strike one day! I warned you, but no-one listens! I warned you! AHHHHH *is dragged back to the mental ward*
How many “brains” does she have?
FAKE fails are not funny
Myth Plausible
A very funny story, but it did not actually happen.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
‘Recoveredand’ is not a word, maybe the article writer and editor are ‘blonde’ too…
She’s blond. Also, she’s American.
snoops.com has this has a hoax… i hate fake fails
Haha…. Linda is blonde.
…classic.
For all you serious bloggers out there, check out this ridiculous conspiracy theory:
http://www.peoplethatlooklikeanimals.com
I got a kick out of it…
It’s fake and it’s an urban legend, failers!
Wow..this is like the oldest thing I have ever seen on a website…ever..seriously
That’s an urban legend. I read about it on Snopes, I think.
Yep. Urban legend. Brett Butler used it in her act and it showed up in an ep of some tv show.
This truly is a FAILBlog fail.
I expect to see a headline about Forrest Gump in heaven next.
After the story was unwrapped, it went stale within a day or so.
“Lisa is blonde”
I think that’s the funniest part of the whole article.. hahaha
Failure to check Snopes.com = Fail!
If you ever read a news story actually written by the Associated Press, you could tell this is a phony: badly edited and violates AP style rules.
and failed because 50 ppl have already posted that link, lol
I remember when they tested this on Mythbusters
It seems plausible in some regards that a biscuit tin could explode and the noise plus something hitting the back of the head would cause someone to panic. But logistically, it just isn’t gonna happen that way. If she passed out, her arms would fall away from her head, and she would have enough time after coming to to notice that her hands were covered in sticky bread dough, not blood.
hahahahaha, lisa is blonde, lol
this was on mythbusters
This is fake. Check snopes.com. It’s just an urban legend!
This was never an AP story. It’s an old urban legend: http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
This story is a very old and very tired hoax.
Lisa is Blonde , loooooooool
I’m so confused? I got the strait out joke but the inside is like ‘Blarg’ to me!
“Lisa is blonde.”
Isn’t this an old blonde joke?
This is an urban legend, i’ve seen it on a TV show before.
Seriously? This urban legend has been trolling around before Al Gore invented the internet.
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
“Lisa is blonde.” Yup, that explains it!
Omg the last sentence!! xDDD
Funny that she didn’t even though about BLOOD? xD She’s blonde! When would I learn? Dammit~
i heard about this one on mythbusters
Lisa is blonde.
i saw this on mythbusters
Bullshit. If it’s hot enough in a car to make a biscuit canister burst, then nobody would stay in there for five minutes, let alone refuse to come out.
This story is as old as I am. I remember a teacher telling the same story when I was in elementary school and I’m over 50 now.
i remember hearing this story years ago! it was a real life blond joke someone had told me!
Urban Legend.
Do you think they’re trying to tell you something?
I’ve heard that carbs are bad for your health, but I never expected to be physically assaulted by a can of bisciuts. Get a new urban legend!
#148
Fakestory is fake. Mythbusters busted this one.
This is a hoax that has been kept alive for decades. http://www.hoax-slayer.com/hsblog/2007/07/tale-of-killer-biscuits.html
“Lisa is Blonde” ??? LOL
hahahhaha lisa is blonde…is that supposed to explain everything? lol
This is what happens when it’s late at night and newspaper compositors don’t have enough legitimate material. This story is so old it comes with its own cobwebs in six decorator colors.
It’s a fake story
i would like to make a “dough”nation to the special Olympics in her honor.
Ooo, I support this cause! hehehe
yyaayy 420th comment wooo brains!!!
Well, i actually think they showed this in Myth busters a time ago xD
Still sorta sad >.<
“Lisa is blonde.”
Thats just the finishing touch.
While the story is funny as hell, unfortunately it’s untrue – check it out
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
Mythbusters Season 1
“Lisa is blonde”.
I lol’d.
lol
This story has been debunked about 762342345 times. Urban legends done in Times New Roman are still BS.
Originality fail… I too have heard this one umpteen times…
lame!!!
Come on. Completely fake. The AP uses proper grammar and does not include things like “she’s a blonde” at the end. Clearly not an “actual AP story”.
This is possible. the mythbusters did it. It happened but this is not the article. Also, I think that She was knock out, not “holding her brains”
The very last few words are brilliant! I nearly choked.
Notice at the bottom it says: ‘Lisa is blonde.’ LMAO
Completely fake, but still pretty funny. The debunking is available over at Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp
This is actually an old urban legend that some gullible newspaper apparently picked up and ran as a news story.
Umm. this is so old, its in one of the books in the old computer game Daggerfall, called The Arrow-Shot Woman.
did she died?
Yes, she did died.
Before you ask, no she didn’t resurrected.
And she didn’t reincarnated either. She is permanently, irrevocablly, undeniably died!
And she didn’t summoned. There is just no way, so stop trying. She just did died. (I was think, give me something crow, I don’t want to sleep yet and I hope the sheriff’s office isn’t that busy. (I narced that from your Pundit Kitchen post)).
Actually it’s pretty damn quiet tonight (shocking for a friday and its the first day after school is out) hence my ability to post a little more frequently tonight.
It was 3 am when I was posting, so I could understand why. I assume we have many east coaster’s posting.
This is an urban myth. I first heard this story 20 years ago.
Fail fail. This urban legend has been circulating for about thirty years, I think.
I find this VERY VERY insulting.
NOT all blondes are like this!
You are a very very horrible person.
oh yeah, i remember this, Mythbusters tried this, though i don’t recall the verdict ._.
‘Lisa is Blonde.’ LOL
Just in case you don’t know, this story is an urban legend. I just googled it.
Lisa is a blond… well obviously!
lol quote “She was Blonde”
If this ever did happen to someone, I think it was the feeling of the dough that shocked them…Got too scared to look at their hands
When biscuits are outlawed, only outlaws will have biscuits.
N.B.A. National Biscuit Association
lol, it says recoveredand near the end.
grammatical errors ftw!
I don’t think this is much of a fail. I mean, it said right on there that she was blonde.
Like everyone says this is an Urban myth there was a Mythbusters episode on it and the proved if false. (also no one is that stupid)
lol. I think it’s funny how they had to put “Lisa is Blonde” at the bottom
Damn woman has biscuits for brains…
Lisa is blonde ^^
That’s so staged.
“Lisa is blonde” LOL thats f**ked up
jajaja in the end of the paragraph… lisa is blonde
This even made it to german newspapers back then *lol*
I’m sure it is fake…who would be that stupid?
This is a Murder charge FAIL but dumb blonde WIN!!
This is hilarious….
but I could see people doing it….
She panicked, so she wasn’t thinking straight.
Examples:
deer in headlights: if someone is about to get hit by a car, sometimes they don’t move because they panic/are scared.
gun shot sound: If someone hears a sound familiar to a gunshot, some people duck intinctivly….even though there is no gun around.
lol “lisa is blonde”
rofl at the end “lisa is blonde”
my name is dick, everyone!!!!
Lisa is my wife’s name!!!
this is not her!!!!
3rd to last line:
recoveredand
SPACE FAIL
Shes blond…thanks for telling me, it proves it!
”Lisa is blonde.”
Big surprise.
Sorry to spoil the fun but this is an old urban legend.
Newspappers get fooled into printing them every now and then…
Oops I just realized I was beating a dead horse.
Sorry
rofl love the last bit
“Lisa was blonde” rofl xD
Such a fake.
Failblog is now awash with these cheap fakes. Anything on wikianswers or yahooanswers is fake alongside things like this. This article is so badly written that no journalist would have put this forward being written in this way, let alone a credable newpaper running this story written in this style.
Totally agree with your last sentence.
lol Mythbusters tested it… its 100% true
lisa is blonde
*laughs like a mad person !*
absoloutley brilliant. laughed my ass off!!!
it’s just a shame it’s not true then.
dangerous to let a little life into your can of biscuits.
LOL THAT WAS ON MYTHBUSTERS
This is an urban legend that has been around since at least the 1970’s. It never actually happened.