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Cheezburger Network Blog
No meat please!
How about potato?
That is still a pretty could price for a hamburger bun….does it come with ketchup/onions/cheese/pickles?
……….gooooooood hjbvuy642dycg!
potato sounds good.
Potatoes only available for men of the cloth.
Darn, I’m naked.
If you fall on it, it’s free!
I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER?
OH SH*T!!!! Let the flogging begin.
¬_¬
Oh, come on… it had to be said…
AHAHAHA, omg, so cool! ^^
clothing fail
FURZTT!! LOZL OP MAED DIS BI HIMZELF!! NARBZZ OMMEHGOSH!!!11!!
*tazes*
BTW – “furzt” = farts in German…
Hairy brain farts! hehehe
Aha! That’s how a brain fart looks like.
at least it smells pleasant.
Woops, I was second with my fart comment..
that is a beutiful problem
And of course on purpose.
it’s just “Furz”, farts would be “Fürze”.
About the Hamburger: who says that it needs some meat? You can even make it a Veggie and still call it a hamburger. Understanding the word Hamburger like the “fail”-creator does is a fail itself.
So this picture is more of a win for the owner.
Fail-Kyo…
furzt= action verb -> he farts
You were faster ^^
Nope, “furzt”, would be the verb form of the word “furz” as in “someone farts”, it has nothing to du with singular/plural because then “furzt” would have a wrong spelling anyway. So…fail ;p (sorry ^^))
..make that “du” a “do” ….(dammit)
Fail-dan
“…it has nothing to DO…”
too slow ;p
Thank you for your attempt to correct me in my own language. Try it again anytime!
No actually that would be: Zry it hagain anytzime!
Ha ha! Want to really blow their minds? Mention that this product is named after the city you live in.
Morning! Rumor has it that it was someone from Hamburg who had that idea in the US. Then it changed from “let’s go to the guy from Hamburg” to “let’s get a hamburger”.
Morning!
So, what about Frankfurters then?
Dunno. I guess it was just the kind of sausage produced in Frankfurt. Same for Krakauer, Wiener (hehe) and so on.
clickie for one of the most bizarre Onion articles I’ve ever read.
Wow! Just… wow.
Madness definitely runs in his family.
It’s just a joke, it’s not really by Walken, but still. What mind could think up a joke like that?
*squeeze*
hehehe
*squeeze*
That is bizarre.
The Onion is lame.
3) I am not a troll; I have never before posted comments that are inappropriate/inflammatory/just plain annoying.
etc., etc., ad nauseum… Sorry, kiddo, you just might be… Although, there’s hope. Try typing something even marginally clever, without putting someone or something ‘down.’ I’ll wait.
KyoFail
Nope, if it’s made with veggies it’s called a “Veggie Burger.” And those fake meat patties are called “Soy Burgers.” A hamburger definitely has meat, unless someone is just trying to argue about it to make some non-existent point.
The wiki for Veggie Burger gets it right (notice the word “style” indicating similarity, not sameness):
“A veggie burger is a hamburger-style patty that does not have meat.”
So you’re saying they have no style?
It don’t mean a thing it ain’t got that swing.
*Squeeze*
doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wah
Um, yeah, a bun with fixings is still a veggie burger. If you go into Wendy’s, they have a button on their register that says “Veggie burger.” That’s what they give you, a bun with fixings. I would know. I was a vegan for a long time.
actually if you wan to get REALLY specific, a hamburger has BEEF because if it’s made with turkey, it’s called a turkey burger.
Hahaha. Love that porky logic MLD.
Which would in case be far more pleasant that the presence of Dirty Hairy….
Oh, thanks.. too bad my furzt comment was my second comment..
*leaves the room*
im going to furzt in you mouth
PS heda was hear, root beer rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you do that, I’ll have more meat in my mouth than when I eat a hamburger!
Fail !
Don’t have a cow, man.
Cows are $3 extra.
fluffy the fish WIN! cows ARE $3 extra, according to the sign
Trying to save the cows, one idiot at a time.
What do you actually get for 25c ?
The napkin…
That must be why it’s special.
I always tell the ladies they can see my buns for cheap but the meat cost extra.
You Fail.
sometimes…but never with your mom.
Just in case you didn’t get it… We don’t talk like that.
He doesn’t get it.
I noticed.
apologies all around.
*cowers head and and walks into on-coming traffic.*
*twirls rope above head*
*lassoes JustinCase*
*drags him back onto the sidewalk*
It’s OK, JC, just don’t let it happen again.
Judy saves the day!!
*applause and cheers*
Barfy burger, anyone?
)
(That one is for coyote, in his temporary absence
Is that made from ingredients you found in the bukkit?
(here’s to Coyote!)
Yes, but it has style.
)
(I miss Coyote.
I don’t even want to try and imagine that bukkit-burger.
(Coyote, if you read this… *squeeze!* Miss you!)
If it’s from You Can’t Do That on Television, I thought his name was “Barthy…”
what about pee or a hamster inside ?
Naw, that would be a bit too much “peeness” for a burger.
With Fail, add Priceless amount….
the deal looks like the poor mans special.
Why buy the cow when you can get the sex for free?
Well… when boys grow up they want to have sex with more than just hamburger buns…
Um, what is the avarage age to have sex with a hamburger bun? I think I missed that somehow…
Don’t feel bad, Arthur I think I did too!
*pounce* Hello!
*Catches LEILA*
Hello! I’m getting used to these pounces of yours!
Hmmm…I have to learn to be a little sneakier next time. *squeeze*
*squeeze*
…and you want to have sex with a hamburger bun? I thought you would be a little classier than that and try a French baguette instead.
I never even knew it was a fad, could’ve been though; I never pay any attention to the whole ‘fashion’ thing.
Careful what you do with the bread products. You’ll get a yeast infection.
And a yeast infection is something you definitely do no knead.
^t^
*squeezes GCF*
*double takes*
Dough!
Not to mention, hot cross buns.
French kissing should be safe.
*needs to stop loafing around and get to work*
Yeast Infection = NO LOAF
if im remembering right i started around 9 but that phase faded out by the time i was 11years old
i mean i had this FRIEND that did it…
Hotdog buns too?
*scratches hot dogs off his list of things he eats*
Good thing because you have NO idea what they put in those things.
I do! It’s the gack they scrape off the grinder they use for all the other meat! Mmmm…multimeat!
*Squeezes LEILA*
No returns on that nice bagel.
And HI!
I don’t intend to return it. Hehe! *squeeze Boobie*
I liked the multimeatness of it. Would you like a hotted dog, Leila and Gaynor?
Yes please. I’m an equal opportunities eater!
Nooooooo! Soylent Green is people!
No thank you Mal. I would rather starve.
You don’t have to starve! *spawns a potatoe for Leila*
…
Oh, damn! You tagged me with the gender…
Leila, are you going to give Fruitcake his stamp?
I’m on it!
Gender APPROVED *thuds FSA on forehead with stamp*
Why screw a cow when so many humans will put out for free too?
Ill take some ketchup on a bun, thanks.
how about some mayonnaise.?
do you want a pickle too?
do you want a cookie too?
You always get good deals in fine print.
Yay! A super special awesome burger!
You must pay dearly for it.
Only if you want meat.
Meat?
*masturbates*
You have to pay 3$ extra if you want meat.
Otherwise, you’re stuck with a taco.
*looks at avalokiteshvara*
What’s the diminutive of “masturbation”?
Fondling the pinkyding?
master as in superb
urban as in street
relation as in with your penis
master + urban + relation = masturbation.
Novicebation?
Kibbles ‘n bits?
variation?
Sh*t! I’ve been a random f*cking troll for about an hour.. I just wanted to
change my name for the FURZT-chat.
Petit suicide?
HI DO YOU LIKE ME
Marketing win! I would totally buy one just for novelty value. Of course I’d be getting it without meat anyway so it would be a cheaper lunch than going to taco hell.
Ah, but just a dry piece of bread for lunch is not that tasty.
I used to eat ketchup sandwiches for lunch in college all the time, dirt cheap. Throw on some lettuce and tomato and pickles and you’ve got yourself a sandwich.
This might look stupid but he sure is a smart-ass! People see it and think…
25cents.. That’s not much.. 1 Hamburger please! Then he asks you want some
meat with that? yes of course.. That’ll be 3,25 then please.
What’s with the new name Hairy?
I forgot to change it back after my second comment here..
I was first and second.. So I decided to say FURST! in the second one..
that’s with the name.
Much better. …and it’s not free rice for everyone, just the hungry. Americans aren’t hungry.
We’re actually very wasteful. 
Is this any better?
LOL … well, kinda.
I heard you wrote a method.. To find out who is male and who is female
on the internet.. Can i get a copy?
It’s very simple actually – just use one of these ♀ or ♂ or ♀♂. Whatever floats your boat.
Ah but I thought you had written a whole book about different behaviors on the internet that would make it easy to recognize it without a ♂ or ♀… These things ‘ll work anyway.
I did and it’s not anything I can copy and share at this point and time. I have a waiting liste however, please feel free to give me your info below.
info (at) sjorswaterschoot (dot) nl
Or isn’t this stictly business?
Strictly business.
Good morning, everyone. I haven’t been here for a bit, so this new design on the web page is new to me. How is everyone?
FSA…Hi. Where were you hiding and why?
-
We remodeled while you were gone. SURPRISE!!!
Good morning. They only added it yesterday evening, so you’re not alone with the newness thing!
I was… away. On a trip on friday. As for the weekend, I don’t FB on the weekend. And Monday was Victoria day, so that’s technically like a long weekend.
Morning Leila, Hairy!
Speak for yourself Leila… I’m American and I’m hungry right now!
*grabs a bagel*
‘morning Brewski! I LOVE bagels. What kind of cheese you got?
Good morning brewski! Did you sleep well?
Yes, thank you! Unlike last night… You?
Leila… I do my bagels plain. Want one?
*is hungry too* *whimper*
*hands a bagel and a fresh-brewed coffee to Mal*
Morning, Mal! How goes it?
*tries to give Mal a sandwich*
*Boss tells me to take sandwich out of CD drive*
Sorry Mal!
I will take the bagel plain too then. TY
Brewski’s Bagels, now open for business!!
*hands large bagel to Leila*
By the way gaynor, that is a cup holder, not a CD drive.
That’s what I said, but my boss disagrees.
Hey, that’s not really a troll! It’s just really dirty and hairy.
*Hoses down Hairy, gives him some hot soup and sends him on his way*
Wow, thanks! I was starting to lose my mind!
“Starting”?
Yeah, I think he is confused. He doesn’t know the first reason he is here. Poor Hairy.
I don’t want to talk about it.
A bunch of moo cows and I got together and decided that if humans insist on eating them, we will price tease you, then make you really pay for the real thing.
We tried to make it hurt. Did it hurt?
no it did not hurt but i got mad. …….Mad cow disease i say
for today only 25cents yes you heard right today only
25cents i am going mad with the prices stop down and
see us today.
Shoots 1 eagle. Hope that makes you understand that ‘i’ is written with a capital.
*resurrects eagle*
Hairy! What have I told you about violent retaliation!
Takes the eagle and tells it to leave him if he wants a better future.
*the eagle takes off with maximum gaynorvader x 3 speed*
Sorry.
Hairy, you are committing a very serious crime which is punishable by…by…It will be severe!!!
Releasing an eagle to give him his freedom back?! is that a crime!
*cries and sobs.. This world is coming to an end*
I was talking about you shooting the 1 Eagle which GV had to revive. Don’t let it happen again. You must pay penance now…
I said sorry………………..
Don’t worry. These particular eagles were mutilated several times. With a reason.
As long as you agree with shooting 1 for a good reason, I won’t feel bad about it.
I would get death penalty if the government had a good reason..
So what’s wrong with killing the eagle with a good reason..?
whoops! *swaps with for for*
NO NO NO! Mad cow disease is EXTRA!
Watch out for Cows With Guns.
clickie!!! ^^^
YouTube blocked by big brother.
Stooopid corporation!!!
I’m sure you’ve heard the song before, no?
*shakes head* Nah. I don’t think so.
You’re kidding!! It’s a classic. Try this link, and click the play button (not the video window, above the video window). If they block streaming audio, then we’re probably stuck.
OMG!!
People are staring @ me now. This is the funniest thing yet. TY for the clickie Brewski.
Glad to be of service!
I just want the meat though, can I pay $3?
Oh Granny! Where are you? *sobs*
*hands jam a tissue* Yeah, where is granny?
[whisper]Shh! I’m trying to lure him out![/whisper]
Man! I don’t know about the buns, the meat should be enough for any man!
It’s not working GV.
err… sex wee?
I tried my best! Just for you!
Thank you.
*squeeze*
You and Moomin are good sorts but the level of nausea just isn’t the same.
Obviously we’re not good enough for her Arthur.
Lets elope to an ankle squeezing paradise of our own.
‘How to make friends and influence people’ by Jam Spoons.
Granny has missed a goldmine of fails. pea-ness, dildos, cum n eat…
It’s a tragedy!
♫When a ten foot pole is up your hole it’s hard to bear!
You feel it all the time and you’re go-ing nowhere!
Tragedy!♫
I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
Hey! Wait a minute! That IS today!
When at the football I’ve been tempted to ask for a cheeseburger without the burger to get a cheese sandwich as there are sod all vegetarian options beyond chocolate and crisps.
,,,…”’:::;;;
Feel free to pepper the above sentence with punctuation as you see fit.
Do I have to?
*squeeze*
Eeek, I’ve been a salted.
*squeeze*
How do. Hope you are having fun.
As much fun as I can have while working… But this is the place for smiles and laughs!
*group squeeze* Morning guys!
*pounce and squeeze*
Not long now! Whe you starting the hourly countdown?
Thursday is the hourly countdown
Hurrah! How many times will you be repacking before then?
But that cheese would probably be gross cheese :/
Vegetarian options at sporting events are…laughable. Though, at the Phillies game last week, I learned that on “Dollar Dog Night” they have vegetarian hot dogs. I am very disturbed by the fact that someone found it necessary to get a vegetarian equivalent for the peckers and cheeks of assorted barnyard animals…
You reckon to stay true to the spirit of hotdogs, they use vegetable offcuts they’d usually bin?
.
Any cheese in a storm.
*looks unsure of self*
*sidles out of thread*
*gives Moomin a big squeeze before he sidles away completely*
So why did they change the set-up of the website? It’s confusing me
*squeeze*
The people are still here at least
*squeeze* Thank god for that!
*speaking from inside mr cuddles suitcase* It’s confusing me as well. Supposed to follow the same ‘upgrade’ as the others I suppose.
*looks at suitcase with a puzzled look*
*squeezes suitcase*
*goes back about his business*
Mornin’ cuddles!
You must have a special affection for your suitcases.
Good morning Brewski
*squeeze*
*6′ 5″ 230lb Travelocity gnome pops out of suitcase*
Squeeze!
*Grabs ceiling fan blade and whirls self out a window*
Heh heh! Those gnomes certainly do get around, don’t they?
Don’t forget to poke some holes in your suitcase and put some lettuce in it for Leila.
*squeeze*
Mmmmm furzt and discussions about veggie/hamburgers. Looks like I am home!
Everyone who feels home on FailBlog can see FB like his home
*spreads arms for a friendly squeeze*
*squeeze*
You feeling better?
A bit, you?
De-light-ful!
I can’t complain at all!
It doesn’t gets any better then that
Hmmm, I expected atleast 2 Hamburglar comments by now!
-stares-
They were stolen. . .
By the cheezburglar, the hamburglar’s older twin.
This is as fake as the email address that I put in for this comment! How the heck did it get 5 thumbs down? A five year old could have done this.
Is this a 5 thumb down fail at posting an attempted fail? What a calamitous concoction.
Who cares? It’s funny.
Wooooow he is right! What are doing here?! All rate 1 thumb down now!
Since the thumbs should always be like this
Age failer : 5 = thumbs down! WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!!!
Okay…fine. I give it a thumbs up.
You’re the guy from the hamburger train, right?
I’ll take 3 dozen, hold the mayo.
With or without meat on each?
You have to have an interview first if you opt for the meat.
Sorry about the” i ” It won’t happen agaIn.
No worrIes. Welcome to FaIlblog!
We’ve got progress! Welcome 4 imprisoned eagles and 1 with freedom!
i’d buy a few of them without meat just to be a smartarse
Booyah 73 minutes left before take off!
TIIIHT TIIIIHT 56minutes left before take off!!
Why must you torture us like this? Why?
then we can all go out for burgers Yes? My treat, sorry
but i am only paying for the bun huns.
I want to take a dump on someone, sooooooo baaaadddlllyyyyy!!!
As long as there is disco music playing softly in the background.
marketing WIN!!! BOOOYAAAAHHH!!!!
Wait a second…Why would I pay 3.25 for meat and buns when I can pay a dollar at mickie D’s and get everthing!!!badum ba ba bum I’m lovin it
so a terrorist walks into mickie D’s and he starts eating their food and he says ba da ba ba ba I’m bombing it (in accent)
I don’t eat meat burgers but I like salad burgers as I call them….quite tasty actually, just hold the pickles.
Witout meat how can it be a hamburger?
THRGE R
SEND ME YOUR PICTURE
Thanks for this informative post. Im pretty sure that many people searching information at this topic . Btw nice blog.
Vegetarian win.
did the burger die?
If it was a Mcdonalds, all burgers would be $.25
also
cheaper then buying a bag of buns and a brick of cheese.
You’re all ugly Nerds.
Not fail! Win. I wants borger bun.
definitely not a fail…..
hmm, 25 cents for the BUN special…
meat’s expensive!
Advertising win