Submitted by Ulrich R
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LMFAO face plant!
Is the asphalt not level there, or did he just lose it over the painted lines?
He was high-fiveing the road with his face.
*facepalm*
*faceasphalt*
*faceroad*
*faceroadtrip*
I think you have that backwards…
*triproadface*?
Tripe Face Boogie?
Feat win!
*facepalmtree*
*crotchpalmtree*
ouch!
*pinepain* Whilst talking about trees…
facepalm jokes won’t nest below this level
Did someone say FacePalm(tm)?
He has five faces?
Or did you just fail?
looks like a little dip there.
Why, yes, he did. *snork*
looks like he just slammed on the left (front) break accidentally or something. Essence of fail.
His banging hair got caught in the frontwheel
Lick your WHAT? O_O
Laughing My F***ing A** Off lolz, please don’t lick me , that’s yucky.
I believe it stands for “furry”.
Yeah, that makes sense.
FACE IT!
And it went so well in rehearsal…Now, the whole thing seems to have fallen flat. Although he did try to flip things around, bottom line(s), ’twas badly handle(bar)d. No one’s phalt, really. Carry on.
LOL i like how he riding his bike
SFDD (Same Fail, Different Day)
There has been an unusually high number of bike fails lately. I’m glad I don’t ride one for fear I’ll end up on here.
There are many things I don’t do, for this same reason.
Like, video tape yourself doing anything at all?
That covers it! I do my best to make sure I’m the one behind the camera.
Cameraman fail: Coming soon to a FailBlog near you.
Powered by Ms. B!
And the number 4.
The “Powered By” post looks suspiciously like one of the ones we did when we were trying to make up posts that would guarantee inclusion in a future video!
Who is Hendrik?
I have a post awaiting moderation(!) where I note that Hendrik had exactly this one post on FB, according to G00gle.
Interesting how THAT happened. While the rest of us have been typing away for months!
I have a “Powered by” that never got beyond YouTube, so that’s half a victory, I guess. (Leila has one too.)
I really need to check out FB’s YouTube “channel”. I just like it here so much, I end up staying!
MRN, Mal told me about it but he couldn’t send me the link. Do you have it? Please?
Leila: Click for the link, or go to the Youtube home page and search for basketball hoop fail. It should be the 1st one in the list. Look for one that’s 33 sec long.
TY MRN. I can’t watch YouTube @ work but I will certainly check it out when I get home.
He was a Dutch physicist who shared the 1902 Nobel Prize in Physics with Pieter Zeeman for the discovery and theoretical explanation of the Zeeman effect.
I see. So the FB Admin have been very thoughtful in their choice of “Powered by” today.
Well, it’s only fair, since Zeeman got his name on the effect.
The effect being – *faceroad*?
*Poses*
*snaps photo*
*prints out picture*
Huh? Who’s that in the background flashing his bare ass????
GREG???? IS THAT YOU????
(sorry, gang. private joke for my nephew, should he happen to be around)
Does he ever comment? I’m sure the gang would like to welcome Greg to FB.
He hasn’t as of yet. I think we frighten him.
*makes cary face*
HI GREG!!!!!!
bienvenue…
*scary comment proofread fail…
*click, clicky, clickity*
For personal use only of course.
Nope! These are going up on my Facebook page!
Make sure you sensor it.
i failed in a similar way once, and it’s been my only bike crash in the more than 1,000 miles i’ve ridden as an adult. you should ride because it’s fun and very safe if you’re careful and pay attention. oh, and if you see someone with a video camera, walk the bike in the opposite direction. ; )
And make sure you’re not walking into poles.
DOT ORG!
That’s my line!
Sorry, I got caught up in the excitement…
That’s okay. The line seems to have become public domain anyway.
We’re just trying to keep it alive, Cloral…and we don’t want you to be burdened with HAVING to say it each time.
Yes, Cloral, we’re that generous!
Be glad you didn’t get caught in the excrement!
That’s gross… yet very humorous!
Ah, poop jokes. You can never go wrong with poop jokes.
What the hell did he even hit?
The wall.
looked more like the road to me…
I think he “tripped” on his own wheel, if that’s possible.
The corner of the wheel got stuck in the asphalt.
At least the bike didn’t break in half this time.
But that’s what made the other one so funny to me.
I believe he hit his face. HAHAHAHA
Aaaaand how many corners are there in a wheel?
17.6?
pi!
No, cake!
I’ll take some of both, please!
No, you have to choose! Cake or death!
But, the cake is a lie! THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!
*begins to run around room with arms waving in air while screaming “the cake is a lie”*
Death by chocolate (cake)?
*enters thread*
*holds up sign*
Honest Cakes
Baked Fresh Daily by Judy
Monday Special – buy one, get one free!
*fixes Judy’s sign to read “One for the price of two”*
But, but… it’s TUESDAY!
Guess that means you missed the special, eh, Ms. B?
*rocks himself in the corner*
I am still special
I am still special
I am still…
I am…
I…
Yes, Jules, You’re Still Special.
Here, have some cake.
I come back to this thread and I find Jules having a nervous breakdown? What is going on here?
I believe you started it, BF!
The cake is not a lie
cake is not a lie
not a lie
LIES
Do you know who Ai AHM?
(Krisstaar, E.I. reference win!)
*Offers leftover B-Day cake to all*
Today the cake is not a lie!
the cake is not a lie
the cake is a PIE!!!!
Would you like tea or coffee with that order?
Both? I need all the caffeine I can get today…
Cream and sugar?
Yes please!
Thanks!
I’ll have fries with that.
It was a rhetorical question, but I think you are fairly close!
More than you’d think, apparently.
Wheels have corners, eh?
As stupid as it sounds, I think he was leaning forward too much and going too fast so that as he came down hill, the momentum he had while hitting a bump flipped him. He’s wearing a heavy backpack as I do (with my laptop in it) every day on my way to/from work (also, men’s centre of gravity is in their chest so that may also have added to it).
*meant to say that I’ve had the sensation that my bike wasn’t stable while going down hill. Generally, that’s when I apply the brakes.
*Applauds*
*Hands over Nobel prize in physics*
Actually, you can see that he’s straining to go forward, so it’s not like he had a huge momentum.
Yes, well the weight balance was obviously off because he was straining to go forward. And when he hit the bump the momentum got transferred from the wheel to the frame. If you balance your weight adequately in the front, the momentum transferred from the wheel will at a certain point be enough to cause you to faceplant.
Hey, I said it would sound stupid… and I delivered.
Seriously though, I just think it looks like the guy is unnecessarily leaning forward. He may also have applied the brakes wrong. You know how you can flip your bike if you’re going fast enough, your weight is forward and then you use the front brake only.
It looks like he hit a break in the speed bump, one that the other guy saw and avoided (he veers to the side) and add that to everything you guys have said, you end up with a faceplant.
*adds this faceplant to the ever-growing Fail garden*
I’ve seen this happen before, twice. In both cases it was the dynamo that flipped between the spokes of the front wheel.
This was my only FB contribution today. Have a nice day.
Nooo!
*grabs czuhc’s ankles*
Stay!
Um, check again. She’s going UPhill. It’s her heavy trudge on the pedals that is making her bike wobble.
I think his right food gets caught on the front wheel somehow. If you look carefully, his feet stop pedalling instantly as the front wheel locks up, then as he faceplants his right foot never moves away from the front wheel, until he’s upside down on the tarmac.
He Jackknifed.
Oh, Jack again! Should have known.
Dammit. How many times do I have to kill this guy??
he applied his front breaks too hard
You get a gold star! Congrats!
wedsq gewvbsad
I’m sorry, you’ll have to translate that for me. I don’t speak gibberish.
You need to bring your vt4000 back to the shop.
*tries again after clearing cache and still seeing nothing*
Come on, fhqwgads!!!
Okay, now I’m confused.
*puzzled look*
Sorry BFF, I guess you’re just not to the limit enough.
Everybody to the limit!
Leave your purses behind!
No flash photography allowed!!
Can I bring my baconlube?
ok, but that’s the limit!
“Wednesday square. Get West Virginia, be sad.”
Okay, now I’m confused!
Here…have some cake with a side of fries. It makes everything better.
And this pickle surprise-potato salad.
PICKLE!!!!!
*tickle*
SURPRISE!!!!
Uh oh!
*hides under blanket*
*waits for morning*
Sounds like a plan. Now, if I could only find my blanket…
*wiggles blanket*
You can share mine if you like…
*climbs under*
I couldn’t tell what happened to this guy… Did his foot get caught in the spokes or something? It almost looks like he hit an invisible barrier.
That’s exactly what happened… I remember seeing this on British TV show called Police Stop. In fact, that’s actually where this clip is from, I can tell by the presenter’s voice
Old
Everything old is new again, Annnnnnn.
Oooooooh.
Aaaaaaaah.
*fireworks dance across the sky, sparkling rockets, shimmering streams*
D’oh! That was a reference to yesterday’s “Mmmm” “Nnnnn” “Ooooo”. Everything old is new again!
*puts finger between lips and makes b-b-b-b-b-b-b noise*
*ccccccccries in humiliation*
Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours ago, I wanna be sedated…
*hands velvet 50cc demerol*
That should do it.
Oh gawd!!! Please forgive me…..
He was riding his bike like a prick though, he deserved to fail to this degree…
Yeah the head bounce was a bit over the top. Night at the Roxbury 2?
Riding it like a prick? You mean up and down, faster and faster?
No premature ejection.
Until the final SPLAT!
Uh oh… facial.
Sham-wow?
I’m just … wow!
Haha! You made me giggle
I’m trying to figure out what happened. My guess is that his pant leg got caught in the gear.
Or maybe he was trying for a stoppie and ended up doing an endo.
have you ever tried hooked on phonics?
Have you ever tried hooked on bike chain?
That sounds kinky.
You’ll gear up for it, I’m sure.
If I find the right link, I’ll post it.
I wonder how far we can pedal this one?
I think this is one pun most people can handle. Barring a few idiots.
Some troll will surely derail it.
Do you wheelie think so?
As long as everyone keeps their bearings we’ll be fine.
I spoke to the manager, things will be ok.
How did you frame your inquiry?
I went all they way up the chain of command.
So, if someone tries to break the run, the FB Admin might fender off?
Let’s gear up for a long one.
*feeling deflated because I just can’t think of a good pun*
.
Wait, what?
.
We must gear ourselves towards the great good!
Can you steer me in the right direction?
Where the endo justifies the means.
Can we ride through these changes?
Oh dang… must scroll down before posting puns.. can’t even claim it was in tandem…
Maybe you’re getting tired?
Or you spoke too soon?
I think I was just recycling.
Confucious say, “he who runs in front of bicycle gets tired”.
(Sorry, that joke was re-cycled)
If someone does brake the run I’ll be very saddle.
*horns in on the pun-run*
Brevet-y is the soul of wit, you know.
*hubs*
As long as no one axles any silly questions, we’re ridin’ it out.
Ooooh, that was bad, swell. But better than I could fork up this late in the day.
I’m hooked on chronic. That counts? Weed is almost legal…yay!!!!!
Almost, such a small word to make such a big difference.
Avis! *squeeze*
You make good points as always.
I was almost going to post under this, but I am glad you did.
*squeeze*
Thank you! How’s that line go? Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Or something like that.
Exactly! I love that line. People make fun of me for using it.
I would think in the legal profession, almost counts for nothing.
In my mind, I’m visualizing a comedy skit with lawyers playing horseshoes at the company picnic.
Complete with suits? Because that’s how I’m seeing it.
I’m predeposed to agree with you!
They are used to being pitted against each other.
*tunes in to MRN’s mind*
*sits down in comfy chair to watch skit*
Except for paternity cases.
Ummm, how can you almost be someone’s parent?
Maybe I misunderstood.
No, it’s me. I’ve been like this all day, ever since I wrecked and fell head-first off that bicycle.
This made me giggle. I have moments like that all the time it seems. Damned synapses misfiring!
Who powered the video? I can’t make out the name.
It looks like Hendrik. Who is that?
Google search on Hendrik site:failblog.org turns up exactly one hit, on the Front Flip Fail (kid at the beach) – and that’s it. Imagine batting 100% like that!
I got two hits… The other one directed me back here… Some kind of weird internet loop…
We’ll know more about how quickly the Google bot searches through FB when we see 5 or 6 hits on Hendrik.
Jim didn’t know the bike he stole was a “bait” bike or that the police could apply the brakes remotely.
Never get OnStar for your bike for that reason.
“Stop here.”
.
*flip*splat*
Jim found out.
HEY THATS DANISH TELEVISION LOOL! FAAAIL
LOOL? Is that the station’s callsign? What does it stand for?
It’s the number of 1. It’s the logo of an old TV Channel called “TV Danmark 1″.
http://www.lyngsat-logo.com/logo/tv/dd/danmark_tv1.jpg
Today it’s called “Kanal 4″ (Channel 4) and is a womens channel
This is in Denmark? I was planning on riding my bike to Roskilde this summer. O_O I think I have to revise my vacation plans… Or just try not to ride my bike like an idiot :p
Mmmmm…danish. *drools*
Eww, who just dribbled on me?!
Sorry, that was Boggy. He gets excitable in the morning. Come along, Boggy.
*goes to get his body dry cleaned*
*watches Mal as she eats a danish*
Oooh, malicite! Next time ask for the warm dry cleaning solution, ok?
.
*brings popcorn*
So, what are we watching today?
.
I’m glad I came!
MS B!!!!
I… I…
Nevermind. *covers eyes*
Hey, Mal, turn around! You missed a spot right…..there!
*steals some of Ms B’s popcorn*
*munchity-munchy-munch*
I hope he did not get talked into a polish and wax.
He better not have. We brought many bottles of moisturizers with us.
Instead of a polish and wax, can I get a danish and wax?
Absolutely. Question is, who will be doing the application?
With my luck, a Great Dane.
Ms B we are going to be here a while. Danish? Or do you just want to stick w popcorn?
Wait…audience?
*turns and runs away*
Er, Mal? Did you want to take you clothes with you?
For some reason the game”Ring Toss” comes to mind. I just can’t figure out why.
Because you are ornery.
A danish would be lovely! Than-
Wait! Where’d he go!
Come back here! I wasn’t finished with you!!!
Danish, Polish, Finnish? This site is so worldly.
*makes a cosmopolitan*
Drink?
I’d like something out of this world.
Oo…I think I can help you there.
*takes a sip of a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster*
*leaves some on lips*
*SMOOOOOOOOOOOCH!!!*
*has an out-of-body experience*
*feels like she’s falling and missing the ground*
*drops box of danish and runs after Ms B* Wait for meeeee!!!! We need something to grab him with. He is quite slippery.
*wonders how all of this happened and walks back triumphantly*
It’s warm outside today…
*points*
Here he is, ladies! Hurry! Before he gets away again!
Boy, aiki and Malicite get hoards of admirers, but when I danced, I only got $2!! Okay, I fell off the stage, and danced like I was having a seizure… but still!
*pouts*
Brewski has forgotten the time a bunch of us stole all his clothes and left him buck nekkid for a whole day.
.
HA!
*slides Brewski a $20 and winks with a waggle of his hips*
Argh! Moderator ate my post again! Reposting:
.
Er, I was trying to forget about that… Having somebody steal your skivvies isn’t a good way to make a living! But now that I think about it, I got some good drinks from aiki’s strip-tease profits. So I guess all is good! I love ya’s all!
*smoochies galore for brewski*
Mal! I can’t accept that! You earned it. Nobody can waggle hips like you do.
But thanks for the offer!
*Hands $20 back to Malicite*
*feels like an attention whore now*
You’ve been prostituted for trespassing!
*pops back in to give big SMOOOCH!! to velvet*
Hey – where’s mine? You’ve always been my favorite, Brewski! Sorta….well, you’re among my favorites! Smoochies?
Brewski: ” Okay, I fell off the stage, and danced like I was having a seizure… but still!”
Still lovin’ ya, but, was that supposed to be a turn-on?
… and how he was left with only his … *pants* just thinking about it again. *blush*
*smooches to Judy and swell foop!!*
You guys rock!
Brewski’s pout is quite becoming.
Faceplant WIN.
Gravity: 5000246856545456858586658532256
Humanity: -3
it appears something – the wheels, the chain – locked up, sending him over the handlebars. his feet suddenly stop moving just before he bails. doesn’t look like he hit anything
Surely it was the asphalt level, look how he hit the white line.
rofl.
(Good night, all.)
Nite Nite!
I smell sabotage!
Where did the Beatie Boys go?
Brooklyn!!!
.
*tosses up an s for Beastie*
So are you from Brooklyn?
I have some family members there.
No. I was referencing their song “No Sleep Til Brooklyn.”
.
I do have family from the Catskills.
What does it smell of? Gunpowder? Rotten fruit? Rush Limbaugh?
Rush Limbaugh? gross.
What do you suppose would happen to the universe if Rush and Ann Coulter were in the same room together?
The universe would be unaffected unless Hannity was in the same room.
For some reason I think Pundit Kitchen has a photo of all three of them together. I remember seeing it weeks ago, but really, I’m not entirely sure that’s where I saw it.
Personally, I think the universe would most certainly implode. I mean, it happens a lot around here.
What would happen if Ann Coulter and either of the other two had a child?
Wait, trannys can’t have kids. What was I thinking?
What’s with Ann Coulter’s eyes? She always has this look like she’s possessed by the devil.
That look is the tortured souls she has consumed, trying to escape her. She isn’t possessed by the devil, she IS the devil!
Speaking of tortured … FSA was ran off FB this morning Avis.
Oh really? I must go look up THAT exchange!
If you haven’t noticed, he sulks off every day.
He seems to be looking for a pity party.
Oh, I’ve noticed. Hell, I’m usually one of the contributing factors to his sulky pity parties.
I attempted to give advice, and he did the usual “I’ll make you all happy and leave now”.
Well, to be fair, it DOES make us happy when leaves.
Personally I have nothing against him. Call me a naive optimist, but I still hold out hope that we can train him. But he doesn’t seem receptive to training. I don’t like to exclude anybody, unless they are hostile. I understand your opinion, but… ’nuff said.
Go for it, Brewski! If you’re successful we’ll thank you. If not we’ll blame you. Either way, some sort of profit for us!
It’s not that I actively DISlike him, mostly it’s that he doesn’t really have many redeeming qualities. And if I DID actively dislike him I would simply ignore him. Thoroughly.
Uh… Did I just unwittingly volunteer to be a fruitcake tutor?
oh… no…
I just wonder why the hell he keeps coming back…
Well, with talk like that, Dragon, he won’t. I happen to be among the few that believe there is hope.
I should add, “as long as he doesn’t smell like Rush Limbaugh.”
I’m glad…we need people like you!
*squeeze*
Isn’t that Cliff Richard?
Yes, Avis, they (sort of) do (no Ann Coulter). Here’s the clickie.
The smell is indescribable.
So it does smell of Rush Limbaugh.
No, it doesn’t smell like pig.
Pig smells good compared to Rush Limbaugh.
I don’t know if I should be
or 
.
Well, rotten garbage ALWAYS smells bad!
True.
And frying bacon smells goooooooooooooooooooood…
*drool*
Fried bacon is YUMMY! Ever try adding it to turducken?
And then stuffing all of that into a roast pig?
But instead of putting a little apple in it’s mouth, I like putting a little roasted rabbit.
Then you pack the entire thing in sausage and deep fry it, like a Scotch egg.
And to serve it, I like to take a young tiger, remove the internal organs, spread it on the table like a tablecloth (keep the head on, tho) and present the whole thing resting on three deer heads.
Dragon, I literally just drooled at the thought of that.
Ok, the bacon stuffed Turducken stuffed into a roast pig. Not the other stuff. The other stuff is just too much.
All I have to ask you three is … why? Just why?
-
*eats danish dipped in chocolate*
Because meat is YUMMY!!!!
*hungrily devours steak while throwing chicken bones everywhere*
MEAT! MUST HAVE PROTEIN!!!
LEILA, why not? It’s a personal choice.
Because, Leila, we wanted to annoy you. That’s why. You don’t know my philosophy about meat eating, and I’m not about to share it, but I’m kinda tired of hearing about yours all the time, and I’m kinda tired of being lectured by you about eating meat and using BaconLube™.
Wow Fluffy, did you honestly think I care about whether or not you eat meat. I really don’t. I thought people come here to have fun. That’s all this is for me. I enjoyed people poking fun at this whole thing. It’s a joke. Just like dragon portrays herself, well as a dragon, and you as a fish…I played a role. Period. Sorry to have offended you.
You did not offend me. I said that it was getting tiresome. You come across as judgmental and self righteous, which annoys me.
There. I said it. Let the flogging begin.
*flogs fluffy with strips of bacon*
*flogs Leila with dandelions*
*flogs self with chocolate covered pretzels*
It’s a par-TAY on the blog!
Judy, the things that went through my mind when I read this were:
1) It’s a Flog Blog!
2) Ewwww! I bet there really is a Flog Blog!
I think I just disturbed myself.
It’s like riding in an out-of-control tobloggen, yes?
Have a little bit of both if you think you won’t explode.
Someone doctored that stop sign.
Wow, now the nesting on the Stop Sign fail is really borked!
And I was re-watching the video to find the doctored stop sign.
.
HAHAHAHAHA!
.
D’oh!
*snert*
Double pits to chesty! Nailed it!
You know, this would be a fitting end to that stupid commercial…
FIRST!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Now cameras can write comments. What next, a twittering microwave?
It’ll never happen – hang on…
*Checks phone*
Oh, gotta go – popcorn’s done!
You know that they’re working on that? Your fridge communicating with your cart in the supermarket, then your cart talking to you that you need to buy milk, the shelfs in the supermarket telling you where the milk is…
Seriously, who wants that? I would mutter “shutupshutupshutup” to all these things talking to me all day!
Apparently we are too stupid to remember what we need, or to locate those items in the store. I swear, these devices are actually making us dumber and more and more dependent on them.
Yes, my shining magic box that connects to the Interwebtubes in my, er, thingy room is making my, er, brain get littler every day!
*drools and picks nose*
Funny. I’m speaking (typing) more along the lines of what Arthur was mentioning. I don’t need a machine to tell me I need to pick up toilet paper. If I can’t remember to do that, well, I sort of deserve the inevitable consequence.
More to the point it sounds like conspicuous consumerism. Just because I might be out of butter doesn’t mean I NEED butter.
OMG!! We’re out of ShamWows!! I thought you were going to pick up some this time, Avis? How are we going to clean up BFF’s drool?
*opens the cabinet doors*
*sees 100 of the 10 million boxes of ShamWows we have stored away here at FB*
Ummm…. we’re not out. I don’t think we will EVER be out of ShamWows.
Just don’t confuse that cabinet with the one I keep the duct tape in!
I thought that cabinet had a great big padlock on it? And there were only two keys?
I know, but people seem to get into it anyways!
Sometimes I think we forget to put it away when we’re through…
“put it away”
It’s reusable????
Now I’m really confused!
*piles of boxes wobble*
AVALANCHE!!!
*screams and runs for life*
Guess what? I was standing by the impulse buys at the Walmart register the other night, looked down, and to my wonderment, spied a box of ShamWows. Immediately I thought of all of you, and it was like finding out that Santa Claus is real.
Aw, that was really nice.
Wheeeeeeee!
*wipes a tear*
It’s a beautiful community.
*giant jammy blog squeeze*
Me, too. Only difference was I bought them!!!
There’s another disturbing aspect in all of this: Where is the data we inevitably produce? Who has access to it? What is done with it?
To answer your questions in order:
1) Google
2) Google
3) Errr… we’ll get back to you on that.
To me it also seems to be yet another way to categorize people. And really? Do I need anyone else to know what I am going to buy?
Also? they have these things, they’re called paper and pencils, they work great when you need to say, make out a grocery list.
To categorize people is bad enough, but what’s worse is the possibility to monitor everyones life completely. Think about all the tracks you leave every day. Your cell phone traces tell where you were, your banking accounts and credit cards know how much money you have (or not), the stores know what you bought and when, whatever you look for on the internet is known to the search engines… And so on. I’m not the paranoid type of guy, but that might change.
Here…you need to relax.
*gives Arthur a neck rub*
Wait…what is this?? …A MICROCHIP???
*eyes turn red and arm becomes outstretched*
You. Will. Become. One. Of. Us. One. Of. Us. One. Of. Us…
*slowly turns around with an empty expression on his face*
Yes. It is. Not. That bad. You. Will also. Like. It.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!
*hides*
We wrote that at the same time! Amazing coincidence… or is it???
Resistance. Is. Futile. You. Will. Be. Upgraded.
*marches towards hiding place*
You shouldn’t be hiding in the duct tape cabinet. There is only one more key and if the Admiral isn’t around we can’t get you out of there.
See, when I do it you moan at me!
*adjust *FOOOOM!!* to “molten lava” and prepares for battle*
*puts tin-foil hats on Arthur and BFF*
*starts to sing in Dalek voice*
Lions. And. Tigers. And. Bears. Oh. My.
Please? A tin-foil hat for me, too? I’m scared!
That does keep you safe, right?
Otherwise, never mind.
*hands Judy a tin-foil hat*
So, are you afraid that you are transmitting or receiving?
Both!
*cowers in corner, clutching tin-foil hat*
Categorization is for losers.
HAHAHA! *squeeze* Genius!
Good night, see you tomorrow.
Even worse is when they can truly personalize it:
“Hey, it’s been a while since you bought condoms!”
We notice you didn’t need to buy toilet paper this week. Can we interest you in some Metamucil?
Hey, whoah buddy, aren’t you supposed to be on a diet? Lay off the donuts and beer today, why doncha?
Ah, but they would never set it up to discourage consumption.
Tried to post a link, but was foiled by the moderator. G–gle “pizza privacy video” and watch the flash video. Hilarious!!
Excellent! (But not clear what action they suggest I take to prevent this?)
Probably to donate money. Which is probably why Failblog won’t let me post the link.
But kinda scary, all the same.
Washing machines that listen to the radio…
are we allowed to find ancient videos off the internet and post it here?
*checks index in Rules book*
*thumbs through Volume 73*
*checks page 1988 of Volume 322*
*searches for missing Volume 49*
Uh, let me get back to you on that one, ‘k?
Sorry, that was Boggy again. He mistook the Rules book for his daily snack, and several pages are missing.
Sure, if you have a hilarious clip from the building of the pyramids, by all means submit it.
Dammit Brewski, was going to make a Howard Carter comment. *shakes tiny moomin fist ineffectually*
*squeeze*
Tut, tut, Moomin!
He he! Pyramid power!
*squeezes Moomin*
You can make a Jimmy Carter comment if you like.
As president, Carter created two new cabinet-level departments: the Department of Energy and the Department of Education.
Like this?
There was no education before Jimmy Carter? Wow.
Didn’t you know? Also, Both Utah and Nantucket where islands until they were cemented into place by the US Government in 1982.
Hmmm…and here I thought my home-state was landlocked. Wow! I have lots to learn!
There was a BIG gap where the state is today, and people kept falling in when the accidentally crossed the state line. It was a big loss for the fishing industry, though.
There was no DEPARTMENT of education in the US government.
Sorry; that one was not very good. Can you forgive me?
I’ll think about it… Will you wash my socks?
It doesn’t bother you more to think there was no energy before then?
Here’s the oldest video I could find (click).
Here’s the oldest film I could find
Shot in my hometown.
Woo.
Sure, but you have to get people to vote for it if you want it to appear on the front page.
Shoe lace WIN!
FYI: he was leaning on his front wheel with a heavy load… when he hit a bump, his front wheel waffled, then suddenly stopped when it wedged in his fork, and flipped him forward. http://www.digital-photo.com.au/gallery/d/6829-2/Bicycle-with-bent-front-wheel_MG_4354.jpg
403? Yeah, that’s pretty cool I guess.
When you can no longer nest it means it’s last call and party is over at FB.
-
♫ Closing time ♫
♫ You don’t have to go home ♫
♫ But you can’t stay here ♫
But you can still nest, it just appears that you can’t start new threads.
I see. Maybe things just weren’t falling in place cuz my comments were going haywire. *runs to previous FB to visit haywire comments*
Is it not a woman cyclist?. The guy seems to be holding back a laugh if you look closely.
Is it not my beautiful cyclist wife?
Those are definitely not her face she landed on.
FAKE
Yep, a cyclist deliberately trips himself over just to get on Failblog.
The speaker sounds like this was on ‘Police, Camera, Action!’
So this video has travelled far. From ITV, to Dutch TV, to YouTube, and now to Failblog.
No, from Dutch TV to ITV to Youtube to Failblog.
Double play! Ends the inning!
(Triple Play – baseball fail!)
It looks to me like the kickstand came down.
I’m not sure if that could tip him, however…
She was going uphill, and didn’t have enough speed to carry her over the bump.
Hahaha. You could make a soundtrack for this video easy. ♫ Dum de dum, de dum, de dum. Dum de dum de DOHH!!!! ♪
Hitting the bump made his hand squeeze the front brake? I can’t see any other explanation.
Yes
Good God, has anyone taken a look at Joe’s avatar?
I have, and I need eye bleach. Stat.
You’re not gonna get that one for 25 cents!
Head protection required.
Too small. Can’t make it out. Do you want to tell me what it is, or should I just remain blissfully ignorant?
As a precaution, remain ignorant.
Speed bump win!
Does anybody have a spare left shoe i can borrow?
Before or after he accidentally shoots you while he is hunting?
I wanna be the chicken on the tshirt from the onehorseshy banner up there ^^
I want to be the dinosaur . . rawr
Hehehe…if you watch really close you can see me throw a stick in his tire.
Hurrah! The FB Admin have gotten rid of the 300 barrier! Bless them! Bless them all!
There are some sideeffects, though…
?
I don’t seem to be able to recognize them. What are they?
In longer threads the reply button isn’t at the bottom anymore. You have to scroll up to find it. And there’s a new “your comment awaits moderation”-function. I had it when I posted a link to another fail. Nobody but me could see my comment, everybody who tried to reply to my second comment (asking if anyone can see my first) ended up unnested at the bottom of the page. Really weird: To me they looked perfectly alright! My first comment, my second, replys… all where they belonged. For everybody else it was chaos.
I think the “awaits moderation” was always true, but now we get a message, so that’s an improvement. The message has appeared on Engrish long before now, but that site has probably never had a fail go to 300 posts, so I can’t say if the other logic was there before here.
Does anyone mind telling me why my account ISN’T WORKING? Chaos!
I see. That looks like the comments section has been turned into chaos. As Sun Tzu said “For every victory gained, you will suffer a huge defeat”
In this case that meant we all looked like inflatable trolls…
*sticks a pin in Arthur*
*Arthur whizzles off into space*
VERY weird!
*squeeze*
Me?
*squeeze*
Noooo. The nesting situation.
And…well, yah, sometimes you. But that’s a GOOD thing.
Look at the bottom section of the previous fail. Some combination of Arthur, the Black Aggie, and Soviet Russia jokes caused the 300+ post feature to screw up the nesting logic.
…and what I said.
Such as vomiting, sneezing, itching, burning, sever diahrea, and you may experience decapitation. If you have an erection that lasts over 40 hours, consult a doctor immediately.
Consult a doctor? Why?!
To fuc… never mind.
*roffle*
‘Cause they like to get together at conventions and snicker about people like that.
I watched this in eBaum’s years ago and laughed.
And then I did it and broke my neck.
Total fail.
Redo the post as a haiku and you will recover in 3 days.
Seen in Ebaum’s world
Cycled and broke bloody neck
What a total fail.
Haiku rhymes with Maiku.
Hehe , Paintree xD
LOL LOL LOL OMG SOOOOOOO FUNNY
LOL LOL LOL
LOL LOL
LOL
L
wow so many comments!
Awww! This is nothin’!
And you felt the need to say that because…?
Perhaps dahumanz was trying to get nominated for the “Overstating the Obvious” award.
I was not aware that it was possible to trip while on a bicycle.
Why, of course it is. If you smoke illegal substances and ride a bicycle, you are in fact tripping while on a bicycle.
Saw the same kind of thing happen a while back. Did I bust out lughing.
*waits for answer*
Well??? Did you or not?
What does “lughing” involve?
Road… WIN!
Road…victory.
Friggin’ poltergeist…
♫ On the road again….♫
♪ Just can’t wait to get on the road again ♪
fail
there are many different kinds if fails, parenting fails, health, food, vehicals, and ect. But does anybody know the original fail? I do. The fail of man kind…epic…
lol the clip is danish:P
hey, i just noticed there’s a little smiley face at the bottom left corner!
oh wait, its gone now.
WTF
OWNED XD
btw how do you get your comments in bold
This is in Denmark
Just because the text is in danish it doesn have to be in Denmark. Although the things and such in the back looks rather danish. And the 1 in the corner is (was) a danish channel. It could be taped another placed and just shown and translated on the channel?
too usual
lmao! I’m only laughing because its happened to me before. And the narrator sounds so serious…
ouch , his head really saved his body…he could really had hurt his arm there
“Can be a danger to themselves” suits this perfectly.
ouch!
‘FACEPLANT’
Did he crash into some kinde of invisible force field or what?
lol
PWND PWND RAH RAH RAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg look at failblog logo above website title
what happened here? what did he crash into?