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Cheezburger Network Blog
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Cheezburger Network Blog
first
So early and so bad.
Let go, Neener, you’re talking by yourself now.
It’s okay to talk by yourself. You only have a disorder when you start answering yourself!
That’s not true…
*shifts tone and facial expression*
Yes it is, and you have it.
*shifts back*
Shut up now everyone knows.
Indeed. My penis.
*inspects*
I see the problem.
These are just sentence fragments, not full sentences. I believe some lengthening is in order here.
In more than just one way, I’m sure!
Small coments doesn’t count… >D
*sigh* “Don’t”
*another sigh* Plus add an ‘m’; and possibly … aw, nevermind. *exhausted*
*sigh
Why are we so*yawn i don’t
*exasperated si–aww forget it
WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
2nd Graffiti Win in Failblog.
*STOMPS & SMUSHES ralph23 into the ground*
Yawn!*goes back to his rainy day nap*
WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So thats the fail truck..
..or the Foil Truck
http://www.Marie-gets-Deflowered.com/?id=5ced21b3 oml epic ness falious
Norway won Eurovision 2009? That’s fail all right -though the song is cute.
And the UK came fifth! That’s our best result since 2002!
In both cases, this truck is related to violines, then? XD
?
you watched eurovision? FAIL on both of you
What the hell? Why is it a fail to watch Eurovision?
And you are in NO position to call either me or JasonK a fail.
Beat it.
get a life
I’d dare to say his is far more satisfying than yours.
And; get an education.
win! although, does it really count when it’s that easy? (and the answer is hells yeah!! take that take that take that…)
Such a pretty bird singing her beautiful song of wisdom on deaf ears.
Oh, I’m terribly sorry for my slightly incorrect grammar
Also, no.
??
Yep, was your time all right…
oh btw, there is no problem with watching Eurovision, some of the songs are nice and some are so bad you can get a good laugh out of them. The ones that call everyone that watches it a “fail” are usually the ones whose country has been left out of the competition or scores low.
..is this a win or fail? I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON!!!
WIN and FAIL cancels out each other.
So this is a MEH
Hehe… thanks for schooling us on MEHs.
TEH?
i say this is a win…i accidentally myself laughing at it…and then i went to the kitchen and accidentally a whole pan of brownies…
…is that so?
is accidentally fun to do? cause if it is, I want to accidentally too!
so very accidentally fun to do, just don’t accidentally a whole coke bottle(or in some cases, a whole urinal cake) because results can be disastrous…
How am I supposed to judge this one?
Look deep inside your soul. The answer lies within you.
That’s what I said to your mother last night! Oh, the answers that lie in her….
I’ll take “your mother” for $200.
That’s what I said to your… WAIT A MINUTE.
That’s right, suck it hard and suck it long Trebek.
Oh Arthur, you probably don’t know what this is about.. Clickie for reference.
I used to have the whole collection, they were a riot.
I do like the retro typeface.
Rain maked Letters on truck all Swollened Up!
Ha, Ha, HA! Har, Har, Har, HAR!you are one weird SOB
*drives jeep up to Vintage.t*
*men jump out and aim rifles at the bastard*
*orders men to fire*
WAITS!
I IS A “SON OF a BOG”
Ha, Ha, HA! Har, Har, Har, HAR!FREIST
BOINK!
*with one lazy hit FIST is driven deep into the ground*
YAWN! Stooopid troll
\|||/
(o o)
,~ooO(_)~~~~~~,
| Please |
| don’t feed the |
| TROLL! |
‘~~~~~~~~ooO~’
|__|__|
|| ||
ooO Ooo
Boggy is not going to be a happy chappy when he finds you.
Hmmmm! An attempt at being “Very Creative”!
*evaluates “artistic merits” of comment*
A- for effort
C- for results
F for epic-ness
—————
D+ Overall Grade
[This is NOT a Passing Grade.
You will have to take the
ASCII Art Course again!]
*stamps FAIL – SEE THE PRINCIPAL AFTER CLASS! on realsmasher’s comment*
but realsmasher is right…regardless of layout.
failblog strikes again
failblog strikes back
return of the fail
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
D-D-D-D-DOUCHE BAG
Wouldn’t want to be following the Fail Truck at the next low-clearance bridge…
LAST
has anyone ever tried that one?
Have a guess.
YES!
BOINK!
*with one lazy hit "pandarectum" is driven deep into the ground*
YAWN! Stooopid trollBoggy, you’re getting a lot of boinking today. I hope you’re playing safe.
YUPS!*shows jam huge hand covered with 2 HEFTY Force-Flex™ Trash Bags*
No, you’re the first.
pandrectum?
bear arse
bare arse
you are baring your arse at us? quick nurse the screens!
let me see……fail win?
Whatever you decide, someone always says the opposite.
NO, they don’t!
Yes, they do!
*enters stage left as the back end of the pantomime horse*
Neigh!
*shouts*
IT’S BEHIND YOU!
*shouts*
OH NO IT ISN’T!
*shouts*
OH YES IT IS!
Whatever you do, NEVER look back and DONT stop running!
Dinsdale!!
An argument isn’t the automatic gainsaying of whatever the other person said.
Where’s the rest of it? Damn you Blogmonster!
*shakes fist*
>An argument isn’t the automatic gainsaying of whatever the other person >said.
can be
No-one said it was an argument though?
Yes they did!
This is not an argument. It’s just a contradiction.
Opps, forgot to change name…
name fail
Sean Connery do have a gold fish, so I say it’s a Half-Fail.
DOES Sean Connery have a gold fish?
if i argue with you, i must take up a contradicory position.
i love couples who always argue… and then argue about the fact that they argue alot, and in turn argue about the fact that they are currently arguing
- this has been a rendom thought by your friend “Bader”
PS. yes, random is spellt rendom in Canada
PPS. yes, spelled is spellt spellt in Canada
Liar, how dare you tarnish the name of us Canadians on FAIL BLOG. You sir are not Canadian, you are your own nation. The nation of ignorance. Nothing gets in, useless stuff gets out.
*Draws dual blades to bader’s throat*
Anyone got any objections about what is going to happen?
*SHOUTS*
I DO.
Use a shotgun instead.
..and always aim for the head.
I prefer a personal touch though.
*draws blades back*
Cross slash!
*watches bader’s head roll away.*
i have an objection… i just cleaned the floor, could we step outside first before you commence decapitation?
We have a lifetime supply of ShamWows. Cleaning is easy here.
i prefer ShamWoohoo’s… but i hear they are equally decent at cleaning up blood
I can’t believe they let these things drive around but it is pretty cool.
WOOHOOO!!! 21st COMMENTER!!!!!!!! THAT IS A TOTAL WIIIIIIIN
WOOHOOO!!! 22St COMMENTER!!!!!!! THAT IS A TOTAL FAIL!
*doesn’t think she’s hot*
Rotational symmetry just hasn’t got the same appeal.
You mean her avatar? I was talking about her comment. How are you?
The comment was a given.
Not bad, thanks.
Your fine self?
A bit bored today. Work’s done, weather sucks – I’m just hanging around. Tomorrow in the midst of working I’ll look back and wonder why I found this Sunday to be boring.
I know what you mean. On slow Sundays I wish I have something to do, then when I get busy ones, I long for the quiet ones back.
Can’t win/fail.
*squeeze*
I have the same thing..
.
Good morning
*squeeze*
LOSER!BOINK!
*with one lazy hit “hotgirl21345″ is driven deep into the ground*
YAWN! Stooopid trollThere, there Boggy. I’ll get you a gargantuan mug of cocoa while you sit in front of this fireplace.
BondFan Frind brungs BOGMALLOWS to roast on Fire TOO?BOGGY can makes S'Mores and S'Mushes for all him Frends! YAY!
You brings Gray-Ham CracKers an Chocolate Bars too!
And I’ll bring some oreos as well. Stay right there.
*zooms off in jeep*
*picks jeep up & watches wheels spin some*
*laughs at Bondfan trying to drive in the air*
HA HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!HAY! BondFan NOT gets Oreo's wif green stuff in 'em! OK?*wonders why he’s not accelerating any more, looks down and shrieks*
Waaaah! O-o-k-kk-kay, B-b-b-boggy, I won-n-n-n’t get the g-g-g-ggg-green Oreos so pp-pp-p-please put me down!
Am I the only one to think this guy is not funny?
I’m afraid so.
YUPS!
BOINK!
*with one lazy hit “Joey″ is driven deep into the ground*
YAWN! Stooopid troll !*starts to water all the trolls in the ground*
Look, a beautiful troll garden!
Sorry, BFF, I have to do this.
*sprays toxic poison on the newly-planted area*
Tis for the good of all, you know.
*Notices fire warning on label of toxic poison can*
This will be good, um where is Dragon with her Fooom! when you need her? These trolls need to be set alight. Okay does anyone have matches?
Will a GLOWER do?
Please don’t be afraid to go on ahead.
*GLOWERS at the poison covered trolls*
Hmmm, radioactive burns combined with toxic chemicals…. I wonder what will happen?
*winces at the thought of mutations that may occur*
Ps Avis, do the apple button + f search and look at your top most post. I hope it makes you smile.
I saw, it did. Thanks!
And which one is f search? Remember, I’m not terribly computer savvy. the f buttons are marked with numbers and icons (some of ‘em any way) but I don’t see one that says search.
Oops, I meant to reference the actual letter you used. The “f”. so Aplle key + “f” and a box should appear in your bottom left hand corner of you internet window. I believe you are using safari or firefox? Entering in your name should allow you to iterate through your posts, and any other appearances of your name.
FAIL success?
yeah.i think.maybe.maybe not.
Not even a member for a whole day yet and I’m confronted with a winning failing win/fail. Where are my pills?
Here, take mine.
*Produces small bottle from pocket and gives it to X-Phile.*
*takes pill without looking at label*
Thanks, if I don’t take them I start making bad decisions.
I should warn you: You might perceive a slight feeling of superority in the next few hours.
*adds an i to superority*
*takes three additional pills*
I feel like I’m better than myself, meaning I’m not as good as me, but then if I’m better and worse, does that mean I don’t have any relative value? Is this all meaningless? Without relative value, what does meaningless mean? OH GOD WHERE ARE THE CATS COMING FROM?? AAAGHHHH!!!
Don’t worry. ICHC is just around the corner. You are not hallucinating. Just kick them away, if they bother you.
Here, kitty, kitty….
*splat*
Oops.
YOU NO HURTS KITTIES!!*picks up stoopid purring furballs and drops
them into a Intertubes leading back to ICHC Land*
This “fail” is like jacking/jilling off and then telling everyone you got laid last night…
Hey, we don’t judge…
But no.
We don’t judge? Then where am I supposed to get my feelings of superiority over others?
get a wife. (KIDDING)
Oh no. EEEEEyaaa I’m telling.
*snikers and runs away*
*forgets what was said*
*stares out of a window as fireworks explode*
Well happy St. Elizabeth’s day, a day off for Canadians tomorrow.
jacking off isn’t getting laid? oh noes!
were you sitting up or laying down?
sitting up is masturbating
laying down is fantasizing
Bending over the toilet with a leash around your neck and a carrot in your rear is fantastibating.
You just got judged.
And not in the good way.
Jack died some time ago. We’ll be talking of him again soon..
That’s right. I killed him.
In an unrelated but similar story; I had a guy at work named Jack. Everyone used to make the same joke. They would ask if Jack was working that day, anyone on the inside of the joke within earshot would respond, “No Jack’s off”. Gutter humo(u)r but hey that was our thing. Too bad he had to go and get fired for punching in at work and going home, only to return at the end of the day to clock out.
I’m assuming this wasn’t the first time?
Nah, it was after a few times. He was really getting out of hand. No pun intended.
BTW, was his last name Mehoff?
Hey, we don’t judge…
But, no.
Portable fail: Now in Win Size!
IN B4 THE 60th COMMENT!
What is that noise?
*fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*what nois*fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*
Thanks for the mental picture. I meant that other noise. It sounded like Hulk…
Must have been my imagination. It seems Boggy is busy roasting Bogmallows over BondFans fire.
I guess saying “graffiti fail” would just be pointing out the obvious, huh?
I actually think this picture would have done better with no caption at all.
It does seem to be a self captioned picture.
Ah, one of the rare occasions I get to post on a fail before 300 comments.
I believe that that’s a fail delivery truck. Someone’s obviously ordered a fail.
Today’s a sunday, so that isn’t surprising. Had this been a week day, you would have been way too late.
That was me. But it sure looks like they messed up my directions.
Just for future reference, all the fails come in at the same time every day.
But, no! Only 2 today.
It’s that way every weekend, Neener.
Hadn’t noticed. They could pre-load them and use scripts I suppose. Though I haven’t been able to get my scripts to do anything that complex, I’m no programmer.
But I guess they want a little time to themselves too.
haha, WIN!!
also…
why does everybody freak out about people who write “First!”?
you’re clogging the comments with complaints about them…i’d rather just read a comment consisting of one word than a freakin paragraph about how that one word is contributing to the idiocy of the internet or whatever.
sorry about the long comment. but i’m sick of it.
Hear hear!!
There there. *pats fluffy*
ORDER! ORDER!
I OBJECT!
I’ll have two beers please!
*plops onto stool next to Avis*
Sorry I’m late. Did you order a beer for me?
Sure, here you go!
*hands beer to Judy*
Thanks!
*drinks*
Ah, good and cold!
How’d your weekend go, Avis?
Clickie, and that was my weekend. The ravioli was phenomenal!
Wow – it sounds great! You go ahead and get your rest, now. You’ve earned it!
(Shoot me a few of those ravioli over the intertubes before you go, ‘k? Thanks!)
Enjoy your evening.
*shoots ravioli over the intertubes*
Oh, my, GOD they were good! In the future though, I am buying a ravioli press and crimper to make the process easier. I have a pasta rolling machine (hand crank) and I used round (fluted) cookie cutters to make tonight’s feast. I think it takes at least 3 people to make ravioli this way. It was just me and Mama Bird making it today.
Oh ye gods…I’m glad you guys are here. What is WITH the blog today?
School is out, and with a vengeance.
You remind me of how my nonna (grandmother in Italian) makes her ravioli by hand. She presses the pasta by her self. Has the cutout from long ago, and she fills them herself with either meat, cheese, potato or spinach. Depending on what she feels like having. It is, in my opinion, the best ravioli ever.
I’m way too lazy to try to make it with out the pasta machine. But the raviloi is VERY time consuming, and really the press I want is like a cookie cutter, that has a few parts. I plan on trying it again, but not with out that press!
Oh, ya I forgot to mention, she invites us over in the afternoon, all the while she has been up since 7 creating the little masterpieces. She won’t let us help, but it does take her a while. She just loves to cook.
I love to cook, but I view it as a group sport. Unless you have a teeny tiny kitchen. I don’t ask for help. I demand it. And I don’t get up at 7 unless there is a travel involved. Or a doctors visit.
I think it has something to do with my nonno (grandfather) getting up around 5 to tend to the garden and make her breakfast after 50 years. Yes she is his sweetheart. Family history incoming… (They used to be neighbo(u)rs in Italy and when her family decided to come over, he and some of his brothers made the trip over to Canada, and within a few months of more dating he married her on Canadian soil.) It is either that or she just enjoys having the afternoon to just be with the family. A little less sleep for her means more time with her grandchildren. A fair trade in her mind I guess.
May I ask a question? (I’m gonna do it anyway) are you a culinary student/graduate?
I am waaaaaayyy too covetous of my sleep. Probably since I get so little of it. I wake up around 4 to 7 times a night. And getting back to sleep s difficult. And too little sleep for me tends to be hard on those around me.
Nope. Self taught. I REALLY like to cook.
Oh, that’s cool. I know a few culinary students in college. It sounds like you could make a career out of it.
Thanks, if it weren’t such a stressful job I’d try to make a go of it. But that kind of stress would very likely kill me. Literally. It’s kind of a loooooong story.
Bobby, no, though I have a friend who is, but as I know cooking is a passion of Avis, I got a topic I could carry a great conversation with the lovely damsel and started it. I am also very appreciative of my grandmother’s cooking. I am however studying video game and computer programming. Sorry I tend to put lots of emotion and passion into most of what I write.
.
@Avis, sleep is important no doubt. I don’t think I could do what she does, … now. Though at the time of my life, God-willing, when I have grandchildren, I might trade sleep time asleep for time with loved ones, as that is more limited than that of my sleep. Then there is my ulterior reason, I want to spoil my grandchildren like mine did. Undoing all the teachings my children have done. (My dad says I don’t know how my grandfather is really like. I kind of understand, God knows my children won’t know this father of mine, he is tough on us.
Oops, I thought you were referencing me Bobby.
*is shy about the compliment he gave Avis now*… well not really.
And speaking of sleep, I’m going to bed now. I’m exhausted! If you can fnd a previous post with my link (to my blog) you’ll see why.
G’night all!
Computer programming? I was gonna get into that, but after seeing how far behind I was from certain people in that area I decided not to do it. It good to see you guys both have a passion for something you love to do. For me, it’s free-running and martial arts.
Always wanted to do free running. But then again I have many hobbies on the to do list: break dancing, free running, getting back into taw kwon do, coaching soccer, salsa and other ballroom dance lessons. Those are just the ones off the top of my head.
Oh. good night avis. I usually don’t go to bed until late cause of work.
I know this may sound cliché, but you can do it if you put your head to it.
Time and the moulah are the issue right now. Though the time frame of my life is suited to the free running and well most of them except the coaching and ballroom.
Hmm…if you live close to your work you can run there. That could get you started, and free-running doesn’t really cost any money unless you want a personal trainer or something. As for martial arts, my first class was wing-chun kung fu and I worked it out with my Sifu (trainer) that I could help him do some stuff instead of taking direct cash.
However, my other classes did cost money. (BJJ, muay thai)
Well, I can’t exactly do front flips and back flips, aside from being scared to try, but I want to eventually be able to do that, so baby steps to get there.
(clickie) Best tutorial on the internet. But, yeah, you don’t want to try something crazy if you’re not sure you can do it. I broke my leg that way.
Thanks, I will learn the back-flip asap.
One more thing before I go. (clickie) It’s about parkour, but when you get down to it, they’re the same thing.
also…i have a strong urge to write the word “FAIL” on graffiti whenever i see it…don’t know why, but i do.
First!
Epic Fail
All this negative energy.
I blame the gloomy picture.
No fun here today.
I blame the weather. It’s turned cold here.
Here too…plus I worked all day.
Pleh!
*sniff* Failblog has decided it doesn’t want to post my comments with my link to my blog!
Hmmm… let’s see if it will let me post a link in the body of the comment.
http://schlicken.blogsome.com/images/diet_coke_bacon.jpg
It’s the holy grail!
That’s hilarious Avis! (Although Leila might disagree)
Dang. Yeah, it still won’t let me post a direct link to my website.
And now it seems to not want to let me post at all! Grrrr!
*tickletickletickle*
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!*
….ZE!!*
LAST!
I have tertiary syphilis.
Once again we see an example of information best kept to oneself.
the only reason its a win is because they guy who did that has been waiting months for it to end up on failblog… congrats buddy, you now win
although the lack of obvious fail is kinda a fail…
Acnolagement win
Assume win or is it a fail cuz if you assume it makes a ass out of you and me
GrAPe JuICe
Spelling fail. Among other things.
fail? or fail?
Fial?
WEEEEENEEEEEER
failride
I real miss a WIN here in Fail B.
Ouch ouch ouch.
You wanted to say, “I reallY missed THE WIN here
inFail Blog.” But like the Win it went Whoosh over your head.This picture makes me want to marry Fail Blog….. I <3 YOU FAIL BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lololololololololololol my roflcopter go shwoshwoshwoshowoososhwwoshwoshoooooooooo yayz.
…I’m trying to figure out if this person is trying to be a a different person than “Mort”, or if they are just schizophrenic.
My response to his comment is “Soi.”
It works on multiple levels.
that it does… my roflcopter goes soi soi soi soi, and the schizophrenic guy in the corner goes swoshswoshswoshswosh?
Doesn’t swoosh have two o’s?
This guy’s swosh just buckled.
That’s because he’s too sloshed.
I’m glad you guys showed up today. I’ve needed these laughs.
Well…I’m not exactly funny nor clever…so I don’t think I helped out all that much, lol.
I believe hes referencing the famous femmes. They do the humo(u)r well.
*sigh* he’s.
Famous femmes. Everyone loves a good alliteration. Yep.
Damn, we just had a 5.0 quake and now a skunk went off out front.
Where is this, are you okay?
*Thinks, would he really be blogging if he wasn’t?*
Los Angeles. It happens a lot. Except for the skunk, which I
wish happened as often as the earthquakes..
*can’t read my, can’t read my, no he can’t read my…poker face*
Poker face? You’re doing it… well not WRONG, but…
Pssst…Avis…he’s quoting a song. Lady Gaga.
Yeah, sorry about that. I was listening to the song and got caught up in the moment.
Psst! Put the ♪ in there.
I was on my iPhone and I couldn’t figure out how to do it. I’m on my PC now though.
I’ve started cheating. I keep a TextEdit file open and paste into it. Beats typing out of the window too.
iPhone can’t copy and paste.
Ah, that explains it. I have never heard one of her songs (?). Can they really be called songs? I’ve seen pics of her. She scares me.
If you like very “clubby” music then you’ll like her.
i always thought it was Poke Her Face, well now i know im wrong
She scares me too…
Almost as much as mickel jackson
Mickel jackson…did he play on Seinfeld?
Hey, Im new here, would someone be willing to catch me up on all the lingo? I love this place!
Oh yeah, the rules too lol sorry, i dont like being the new guy, i feel stupid…
Most important rules: 1) don’t be a troll. 2) don’t intentionally piss people off. Number three is most important: Never get between dragon and her admiral.
There’s no real tutorial, just pick it up by osmosis. You’ll feel better about yourself if you do it the hard way.
Hm, osmosis?
*leans back and feels fail seeping into bloodstream*
Alright! sounds easy enough, thank you!
It isn’t a WIN. It’s a grafity fail! The grafity looks really bad.
Doo! Learn to read. It says FAIL. Geez
Comment fail:
Graffito win, actually
What time is it?
This looks just like the contract trucks that haul US Mail….if it is, that is a total win.
Was this one of us?
Someone should do that in the Impact font now lol.
That’s definitely a fail win.
Your shipment of fail has arrived!
sorry, but i’m like powered, umm what do you men by troll, exactly?
mean*
very nice
SCORE! a total WIN-FAIL!