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Cheezburger Company Blog
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ok! *masturbates*
They sell twelve different flavors.
I’ll have the sausage… Are you getting the pink tacos?
The sauce goes on everything
Special is often Cream of Sumyewmgai.
I notice they have sit-in, or take-away. Hmmm.
It spoils after a day or so, I wouldn’t leave it out if I were you.
And the smell is unbearable.
The sight of it is terrible.
And the cleaning up is too much.
Don’t get me started on the sound it makes while you are putting it away.
Don’t forget the way it won’t get off of surfaces when scrubbing!
The thought of it makes me cringe.
And the stains! Oh, they are horrible.
On top of that, it doesn’t stay contained, it gets spread all over the place. It almost never comes out of fabrics.
And they are so conspicous! You can never wear that piece of clothing again without someone staring out you.
Worst of all, is when you are cleaning it up, if you accidentally touch some of it, the texture gives me the heebey geebies.
Ugh, now that is disgusting. But what’s worse is when you spill it everywhere. Nightmare.
No amount of bounty quicker picker upers or sham-wows seem to be enough. Scary thought.
So… you recommend the sit-in?
I believe that was the point we were drilling at. Thanks for summing it up.
Wow, special
they have just opened a fast food chain called cum-then-leave
I’m just having a cream cheese topped cinnamon roll. They put too much cumin and pepper into the sausage and chili.
Cream cheese and cinnamon?!
*turns green, holds mouth and dashes for the loo*
For the non-Brits, loo = bathroom if I am correct?
The loo is only the toilet. I’m not going to the loo to take bath, that would just be crap.
Okies, it may just be Canadian jargon but for me washroom = bathroom = place where the toilet is, along with sinks.
We have many names for it, loo, crapper, bog, shi*ter. All of which revolve around the toilet rather than the sink.
I suppose posh people may say bathroom but nobody says washroom. Washroom is where you keep your pile of dirty socks.
The things I learn here!
i lernd how to speel an rightly prono(u)nce Inglish werds I lern peopuls is sicko crazy wack jobs pervurts withbrain thingsthoughts thats diferant then mines is!I’m also lernd not to eats people unlesses thay asks frist and sum trollls can change and some is broked!
AND 42! i knows that!
Another word we have a division on, we call that either the laundry room, but often its in the mud room.
More often as not people don’t call it a washroom either, they’ll say utility room.
Utility room? now that has no reference to a room here. Well you could stretch it to the room with your water tank and heating system.
Most people here don’t even have a utility room. They have a kitchen with a washing machine.
I know of a utility closet that is all.
In the states most people have a half bathroom combined with the laundry room. My mother tells me that’s weird because washing machines should be in the kitchen. I don’t know, washing dirty undies in a bathroom makes more sense to me than doing it in the kitchen.
In soviet russia, half bathroom combined with the laundry room have a you!
I hope they warn you that the food may contain nuts.
You mean it is manufactured in a facility that has come in to contact with nuts
Would that be peanuts or tree nuts?
How fast is the service?
SICKO!
*masturbates* *masturbates* *masturbates* now i want sex! *masturbates*
First!
failed
FIRST!
failed…
What does a troll say when he comes in third?
“FIRST!”
LOL.
ΑΗΑΗΑΗΑΗΑΗΗΑΗΑΗΑΗΑΗΑΗΑΗΑΑΑΑΑΑ!!!
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Definitely a name win, not a fail.
That’s two girls on the sign. Just sayin’.
Do they have a cup?
Well that’s no bowl! Sure you can handle all that on the plate?
)
(Morning
Breakfast of champions. (Hiya!)
Juice with that breakfast?
Thanks, no, but I could use some cream in my coffee.
Of course, sugar! And a spread for that muffin?
Butter my buns, you mean?
*nods* Have you got the poached eggs for mine?
They look like if they swap cum……….
at least it’s not a bar
Your avatar is going to give me nightmares.
but he loves you… while you sleep
:shocked:
Does he whisper sweet nothings to the Mingey?
bahahaha, i love it!
hahaha, he looks happy
hahaha I love it. Dirty little cafe owners
You’re thinking of the joint around the back.
It’s a wet bar
Phew. You mean no dry-zone?
no, sorry
. you just have to drink it all in
Its on of those…. Once you get started you just have to go on till you finish.
Yummy!
Other way around.
Uh uh… Hey Doc?
You bet! Those messy typing skills of mine! I was distracted eating and err…
haha
My favourite restaurant.
“Hot Food”
Sit in or take away?
You spelled “spit” wrong.
Oh, is that how the other half live?
It’s their own fault. They should eat more strawberries.
You’re doing them a favor with that.
I think I misspelled ‘flavor’.
I think I misspelled “LOL”.
nah thats seems abooot right…wait…shit!
Knee in… xD
Takeout.
The door on the left totally looks like the door for Konk studios
I wonder if they might have any garlic sause?
sauce*
Depends on what they had for dinner last night.
What? With my feeble multitasking skills? Couldn’t possibly do BOTH!
The mess would be incredible
*prefers delectable*
at least it’s not a bar, then it would be cum-n-drink
…shame it’s not a spaceship, then it would be cum-n- re-entry.
…shame it’s not a brothel, then it would be cum on down, the price is right.
… if it had a revolving door it would be cum-n-go.
…if it was in the 80′s it would be ♪cum-n-Eileen.
If they combined the theme with the restaurant where you eat children, it could be cum-on-baby.
if it was a hotel it would be cum-on- inn
If they sold birds that could carry coconuts, they’d be Cum and Swallow.
Win!
if it was MySpace it would be cum-on my space
There’s a chain of convenience stores out in the mid-west US called Kum-N-Go.
Hey, lemme get your opinions about something. I know not all user-submitted pics make the cut, but what do you think about this one I shot, submitted, and didn’t make it?
http://www.larrytheeditor.com/failblog/religion-fail.jpg
Sorry, but not really that funny. It won’t make the cut cause it has the trappings of an in-joke.
not even slightly funny.
Really not funny.
I still regret not getting a shot of my local church sign one week. It said “Saturday: bean supper. Sunday’s Sermon: the dangers of too much of a good thing.”
Its a winner!
Seriously, I’ve seen convenience stores by that name.
…if it were a Kwik-E-Mart, then it would be “Thank you, cum again”
…if it were in the theater district it could be “Cum and Play”.
If it were a coin laundry it could be “Cum-N-Clean.”
if it was a lolly pop store, would it be cum-n-lick
basketball sporting goods: cum shoot ‘n dribble
dutch coffee n bass shop “finally de herb cum around”
coffee n bass…. hmm
If it was a bath house it would be cum-in-my-ass
Oh right, Catholic church comment applies here as well.
Pity it’s not religious centre, then it would be cum-n-goblind.
we just call that the catholic church
I prefer to sleep after the former.
my penis
We know you don’t have one, so why not stop broadcasting it all over the Internet.
It’s the sequel to the hit game “Beat ‘Em and Eat ‘Em”!
Run they are cumming
If I could cum and eat in the same restaurant, I would be the fattest, stickiest man they ever had to roll out onto the sidewalk.
naaasteee dude i didnt need that image
Yeah……where’s that Knife for wrists?
Ewww…
Cum-n-eat…It’ll jiz take a second!
Wait, I get to cum AND eat, and you call that a fail?
This is a fail fail.
Yes, the food is THAT good.
*orders seconds*
Seconds take longer.
*offers a seeded bap or some just desserts*
Seconds are sloppy.
DrB, you should have ordered minutes, seconds are
only good for text Messages and don’t ever rollover.
i dont get it. are they serving us cum or something? :O
its sposed 2 mean come n eat i think rather than…. er the other thing
It’s a restaurant especially for Rachel Ray.
HAHA! Ain’t that the truth.
They use lots of cumin in the sausage, chili, and bbq sauce.
Do they have spittoons? I’m not much of a swallower.
This is the restaurant I dreamed about!
go to the dam its pretty liberal there
This brings a whole meaning to drizzling the sauce on…
this stings a mole hue gleaming to fizzling that horse on
This rings a cold blue stealing to sizzling the force on.
*throws a ‘new’ at first comment*
*realizes fish can’t throw*
*bites ‘new’ until it jumps*
There’s a real cum-n-eat in Argentina, it’s called “Choripete”, You get a blow job while you eat a Chorizo(kind of a sausage) sandwich.
Ohhhhh, spicy!
That’s the wurst sandwich I’ve ever heard of.
*halts jeep, squeezes jam and zooms away*
*waves at the dust cloud BFF’s Jeep made*
*waves and turns head back*
*crashes into tree and huge explosion follows*
*takes off the virtual reality helmet*
You lose! Hehe:D
*squeeze*
Awww…and I was so close!
*squeezes again*
How’s your weekend so far? Hanged any MPs yet?
Not bad. I watched a program where there was a small group of people having a debate with three politicians:
Debater: Do you not agree that using public funds for a trouser press is taking liberties and suggests you’re incompetent?
Politician: I’m not going to sit here and discuss the politics of that.
Hah! Those MPs, wasting taxpayers’ money on things they should have bought with their own bloody money, oh they crack me up!
Did you see Question Time? Margaret “Alien” Beckett was being heckled and booed by the audience when she tried to justify her second home.
I don’t see why any of them need second homes. If they have to come to the capital, they should stay in a Travelodge like everyone else. That would save the taxpayer about £15,950 per MP each year.
Exactly! Several heads have rolled so far, and all parties have apologised. Let’s see how the June 4 elections turn out now!
It farted?
maybe they mean it….. our food is sooo good you’ll mess your loincloth
Whats the fail? i love cumming when i eat
I’m scared to know where your hands are when you do eat.
mabe he’s got hands free??
*sneaks in and squirts an r into place*
**aaaagh bursts back in quicky sits on that r and makes like a y*
I’m going to go and fetch the eye bleach. That’s something you don’t want to see everyday.
I just hope they wash their hands first…
“Why is my food so salty?”
I’m only slightly disturbed.
Isn’t that an eight-digit phone # over the door? What country does that?
I’m guessing this is the UK, but not sure. Most countries’ telephone numbers vary in length. North America has fixed-length numbers.
Ironic that I ask a question about international phone #s and the only reply I get is from someone who probably lives less than 100 miles from me.
According to Keith R down there, the restaurant is in a town in Northern Ireland. Case closed.
Northern Ireland to be exact LOLZ
Did anybody else’s gag reflex kick in after seeing this?
No. I haven’t watched 2girls1 cup yet.
shame on you
What do you mean, shame on me? I refuse to watch such a video.
me too just the reactons were enough for me
I’ve only heard of it from the vivid descriptions on the Internet, which are rather nauseous. Lemonparty is also another big no-no for me.
BF, remain strong, those are the foulest of the foul videos.
You guys should try Olympics Of Pain.
That’s what I’ve heard from most people. Is it worse than that treacherous sourmath link?
Never clicked the sourmath link, so not sure. College Humor did a spoof on the 2 girls thing, they don’t show you anything, but they tell you EVERYTHING that happens. It’s relatively safe to see the spoof.
I won’t repeat the description of the sourmath link, as it will turn me into a quivering wreck and I shall have to curl into a little ball, rocking to and fro, whispering “it’s only a shower, it’s only a shower”.
And, er, Avis, why have you got that clickie?
Er, sorry. That is a hold over from yesterday’s conversations. I’ll fix it.
Better?
Can we eat first and cum later?
Eww, ill pass.
If you make reservations, don’t come too early
And you’ll regret it if you come late.
Does that mean we have to come together?
RIGHT NOW!
OVER ME!My 2 favorite things.
Eh, won’t it be just great if the sign said-
Cum-Eat-N-Take-Methamphetamine?
My 3 favorite things.
meth = fail
War on drugs = fail
Dude, meth is the best thing Iv’e ever had since looking in the mirror.
Interesting. This confession explains the bulk of your comments and replies posted on failblog.
Cum N Eat Restaurant
147 Main Street
Fivemiletown
028 89521220
I can use google, me….
Fivemiletown, a town in N. Ireland.
It is – oh, the irony! – most famous for its *creamery*.
*creams a six over extra cover*
I was gonna say, it looked like somewhere in Scotland, but Ireland, same thing….
i like it
hahahah. thanks for sharing. i really like your posts 
Summer
A Writers Den
The Brown Mestizo
lololol
I wonder if they sell BaconLube there. Then people could multi-task: eat it and beat it!
Beat any price?
*gags*
I just noticed I was spelling president wrong!
You also misspelled ‘Drag Queen’ mate.
“President” is spelled “*gags*”?
Might want to check out “coalition” too…
That looks British.
Tell me that that photo was taken from somewhere in the UK. Someone with no sense of irony whatsoever.
Yes, the usage of “Takeaway” definitely suggests this picture is from the UK. (And the telephone number is un-American.)
As an American, I do not have sufficient knowledge of UK culture to offer an opinion as to whether this restaurant name is a fail.
Cum is an obscenity in the UK as well. This was presumably a shopowner who did not know the sexual connotations of the word.
For your pleasure, it’s at 145-147 Main St in Fivemiletown.
http://trustedplaces.com/review/uk/fivemiletown/other/1l83r6n/cum-n-eat-restaurant
I suppose they could have said ‘kum’ instead but that might be taking it a bit far. They certainly couldn’t have just used ‘come’ because all small service businesses in the UK must of course use cutesy misspellings of words in their names.
“Masturbate ‘n Masticate!”
Comment Win!
“Gobble-N-Slurp”
-RIP Carlin
Choke the chicken.
Must be owned by a woman. A man’s place would be “Cum-N-Sleep”
Today’s special: Warm apple pie.
Cum to me is just an alternate spelling of come,
not a big deal here
<–ICHC is that way.
Cum on feel the noise! Girls rock your boys! And get wild, wild, wild. Wild, wild, wild.
etc.
Remind us to have “The Talk” with you some day.
So, If I do cum, do I eat for free?
This is just slightly better than the “Kum n Go” chain of gas stations around Wyoming and Nebraska.
http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/page/kumandgo-1647.jpg
There’s a place in Killeen, Texas where you can get a hummer while getting a haircut, , but while one is EATING (Or I guess, TWO are eating). That’s just not right. .
Would that be next door to the drive-thru liquor store?
I want the address!
Maybe the pet shop is running low on kittens….
oh shi- i fail
Epic Win!
Cum _and_ eat at the same time, that’s definitely an epic win!
Fail? I don’t get what you’re implying. That’s an awesome business concepts. I’m surprised someone didn’t think of it earlier.
sorry, but I’ve got to do the gay joke
the chef gives the food to them, they recieve the food
anyways, wasn’t even funny
anyways, would this meal be for kidnap or sit on
…
Eww! there’s hair on on my soup!!
fake
photoshop FAKE, you losers.
Its not fake! I’ve seen it! Its in a place called Fivemiletown. In Northern Ireland.
It provided many a laugh!
what happened to engrish
Looks photoshoppy.
i concur
This is more of a Win than a Fail.
It is a new Whorehouse bar and grill.
Obligatory question about whether their food comes with sauce of sumyunman.
This is in Northern Ireland, I have seen it multiple times….I never managed to get a photo when driving past though. Thanks for putting it up!!
the got the order wrong – should read
eat and cum
Just saw a KUM and GO in Oklahoma this weekend.
OK, let’s all face it…this palce needs ADVERTISING! And I’ve got just the jingle:
“there’s a brand new place that’s just down the street;’
It’s a great new place that’s really neat.
So bring your honey for a great new treat,
You just can’t beat our meat at the…CUM N’ EAT!”
Huh? HUH!? It’s GOLD, I tell ya!!
this is clearly a photoshop fail.
yes i don’t believe more people don’t think this; it looks completely shopped.
Tastes just like chicken.
that looks like a win to me.
OMG that near were i live.. OMG lolZ
It CLosed now Thank bejesus =P
not right dude but whatever. -_-
it looks photoshopped
photoshop fail. northern ireland my patoot.
Doesn’t help that it looks ugly. I mean, come on, that shade of yellow???
looks ugly, piss yella?
this one’s disgusting.
it will be amazing if they install a black lights inside
SEVENTY-SIXTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have coffee !!
I think i’ll put milk in it
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